The problem is that the media promotes "good girl falls in love with bad boy" troupe "Grease"or "nice guy fall in love with popular conceded girl" "Can't Buy Me Love" troupe. I never been a fan of it. I don't find thugs attractive at all. Anyway I love that you pointed out good girls being ignored as well. People always want a person who's outside of who they are and outside of what they stand for because it seems exciting and fun. However, it never leads to a positive outcome & you end up lonely and heartbroken in the end.
As a teenageri never cared if she was good girl or not. My focus was How soon is she gonna let me have sex how good her body looks i didnt go for bad girls, in my teens i didnt care about looks either. Just the body and switft access to it.
@@digthewarmthour culture is so different now. Ppl are morally confused. The appreciation for quiet girls, good guys, whatever we want to call them is very hard to find. Even among ppl who say they want a good guy or a good woman, they don't even have the wisdom or understanding to recognize it when they see it. Men get sucked into toxic relationships with toxic women, don't stick to their standards (many don't even know what kind of standards to set) and then the toll from the emotional damage makes it difficult, if not impossible, for him to have a healthy relationship with a good woman when I finally meets one. The same is true for women.
Congratulations to your grandfather! My dad would have been 91 this year and my parents were married 50 years. Men during this time were about purpose. They didn't sit around complaining about women and white folk. My dad broke color barriers and was chairman of this, and president of that, on the board of this and so on and so forth, lol! He picked cotton as a kid and would miss part of school to help out the family but he got the highest score on his college entrance exam. To this day I haven't been able to find a man with 1/10 the qualities of my father.
Well said Shumake. Unfortunately I never knew my grandfather. He died before I was born, but to this day his old students (he was a principal and a teacher) say that he was a huge influence in their lives. A lot of his male students credit him for helping them navigate manhood.
A focused man might look like a boring man upon first glance. That is so true I have been feeling down because my man has been busy and withdrawn lately... but you reminded me that it's not neccessarily a bad thing he is focused on our future and creating a stable foundation for our family. It's tough... but I would much rather take the stable guy over the party animal any day!
Oef ma'am same thing going on over here! Im also feeling down and even thinking that I dont want this anymore. But that is so so stupid to think because we are very close but my husband also wants a better future for us and for me, therefore he has te work more and I need to appreciatie that more! But it just sometimes feels distant if you know what I mean. Take care💋💋
You are a wise young man. I'm an old dude. I have lived my life as you describe your grandfather. I am heartened by your commentary. You are on the right track. Thank you for your efforts to guide young men and women to the path that will lead them to a life of contentment, as opposed to the torment of superficial, empty longing for the sugar high.
I really love your channel and everything you stand for. I'm a Dating Coach and one of the most common questions I get is "where are the good men?" I tell them "EVERYWHERE!!! There is no shortage!!!" The REAL QUESTION is " why aren't you meeting AND/OR recognizing them?" Thats a whole different thought process!! Thank you for this GODLY and GOOD word brotha!! I emailed you before but I hope you'll be on my SOUL CARE FOR SINGLE BLACK WOMEN show next season.
If there is no shortage, they'd be easier to encounter. Are they not attracted to these women? What is the definition of "good man" being used? Because "nice guy" =/= "good man".
Congratulations to your grandpa ❤️ he very inspiring!!! A man with a plan! That’s the kind of man I want! He’s a true leader! We need more guys like that!
This video made me so emotional... it is men and women we got to look for as husbands and wives God designed .... devoted to God and to each other. The material things come and go, go up and down... you want to look for someone who as a person has stromg moral values, standards, principles that you both share at the core... because when the storms in life come, because they will, you both are strong and solidly have each other's back whilst trusting and seeking God's direction ❤ Thank you for sharing your granddad's example with us ❤ God bless you and your family, may He prosper everything you do and bring you peace, Shumake!
Such an important message! Thank you. Im white Polish we had different problems of poverty and civil war situation and when I think about my own dad (70 today) who had nothing but the army suit, proposed to my mom after 4 months only conversating, they are together still and today my dad is wealthy with mom. thinking you granddad and your dad and you and my dad would shake the hand of one another and the skin completion would not matter. Moral cores and integrity are way above it.
I follow your drift, but with good men it’s not about attention and being noticed. They are out of that lane on the freeway of life. It’s about what those men want and whether or not they are doing anything to get it. For example, the kind of woman a good man want. Does he actually want a good woman? Many good men don’t, and prefer a summer or loose type woman to light his fire. He want his fire lit. And those type of women are the ones not noticing him. So, women are not missing out on good men, it’s actually good men who are missing out on good women. Bcuz they do nothing to get the kind of woman they want and expect women to notice and come looking for them. How is a woman supposed to know they are good men and these good men actually want her? There’s no possible way without effort from a man. These guys don’t want to make an effort and just be noticed, and pout when they are not. And most good women been thru the mill with that. Taking a chance going for guys that turns out to be a waste bcuz these guys, most of whom are good men, don’t really want them. They’ll settle and accept these women if they come and give themselves away, but don’t really want them. Even after getting a good woman they don’t do anything to keep her. So, you know, men gotta do their part. And go for somebody they really want and make a diligent effort to get her. Bcuz if men keep saying women are the ones losing out, it shows that they haven’t changed, don’t intend to change, and will continue showing good women who goes for them that they don’t really want them.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 Well, no… What people want hasn’t always to do with that bcuz lots of good women don’t want a good man either. Bcuz on both sides the good man and woman don’t like each other and prefers the bad boy or wild summer girl. A good woman is still good, but may see a good man as boring. And the same is true for good men. Like how we hear a lot of good women say things like: I want a man who provides and leads, and with a little bad boy in him. And likewise, we hear a lot of good men say things like: Good women don’t do it for me. And just bcuz good people don’t want another good person doesn’t mean they are not good. It just means that their perception is underdeveloped and impaired. Good people have to learn to like each other, and until they do, their preference is gonna teach them hard lessons. Which all has to do with immaturity and fully growing up. Whereas the body reaches adulthood after a certain time but the psyche doesn’t, and is still in the early childhood and seeking early childhood things. Crossing everything adult over to a need for childish stimulation, chastisement, control, and excitement. So, the red flag present in such a man is not that he’s not a good man, but more so, that he’s not ready to be with a woman.
@@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy Then they're NOT good; as in not good to be in a relationship with and they still have a massive amount of work to do. If they want someone "bad" AT ALL... that's toxic, and not a defining trait in what one would consider a "good" man or woman. Truly good men and women who are GOOD for a serious relationship actually want a good counterpart.
I agree with a lot of what you said. It’s the effort on the “Good Man” part. My son is in middle school and he said the girls like the bad boys. I told him, they like the bad boys because the bad boys are simply talking to them and engaging with them and responding to the playfulness. It’s not that they are “bad”, they aren’t too shy. My son is a laid back, kind, shy guy. One day he got up the courage to interact a little. Oooh the stories he tells me now lol He interacted a little and the girls responded. He is building friendships with them and starting to learn more about them. I love the stories and we talk about it. I also got my “I told you” in there lol I say the same for good men. Women want them to interact with us. Let us know you are there. Me personally, I dated a “bad boy “ ONCE and that’s not my type. The extra attractive man isn’t my type either, my type is the good guy but they are shy and hard to come across. Where they at 👀 lol
I think there’s a lack of men who actually go up to women these days no matter how much a women puts herself out there. Many good men just sit and don’t ever initiate anything.
Exactly. What about the hundreds or thousands of women that are just like the good men you describe? Why are we not finding these good men. The ones who are in shape, are not staying in the house, are not drinking smoking, living the city girl life, financially stable, career, house, car,…what about us? I still have a difficult time finding a good men, and my friends and coworkers are in the same boat.
@@lelo46 I think I can speak to that because I’m dealing with that right now so I’m definitely a good dude but because I’m not financially stable as the females would like me to be they pass over me now I’m stable in working towards being financially stable as I want to be but that doesn’t take away from me being a hard worker loving caring loyal dude don’t be out smoking drinking going to clubs like that really thought I was the type of dude that a female would want but I realize a female doesn’t want a good man they want a man that’s on the standard they hold
Thank you for everything that you shared about your grandfather. He is a phenomenal man and it has very clearly been passed down to you as well. Glad to hear that there are still good people in this world.
I have disdain for the term modern woman because it seems as though it is a scarlett letter and dog whistle. But I really do appreciate your commentary. Salute to your grandfather.
Yes. We're all humans living in the modern era... that's been the case since the 1900s. Even the 1950s housewife they want us to be were "modern women". 🙄
🎉CONGRATS PAWPAW!! CUZO dropped that knowledge today! I told you before "I'm watching you become a millionaire" BEFORE I knew that greatness was in your bloodline!!! ❤ ask God EVERDAY for the gifts he has in store for you and RECEIVE them cuzo, in Jesus name
Being a good man is only a fraction of what it takes to get and hold the attention of a woman, there also has to be attraction and chemistry and the ability to sell a woman on yourself to even get in the door. Women are out here amassing their own real estate portfolios and matching whatever men bring financially. They can "protect and provide) for themselves. You have to ask yourself what do you add and how does your presence make another person feel better with you than without you. If you don't make them feel any kind of way, someone else will. Women will leave a "good man' that covers the basics for a great/better man who does all of that AND makes them laugh, is passionate about them, and keeps life interesting. Its a competition. I liken it to being a "hot dog" versus a "tube of ground-up leftover parts of a cow, a pig and a chicken" Same thing, but one of them knows how to market itself in an emotionally and aesthetically appealing way... Which one would you buy?
This is bullshit and disingenuous. The majority of women do not have real estate portfolios, stop the bs. Y'all women really out here thinking you're all CEOs. In one breath y'all are making all this money then in the next breath you're complaining about a gender pay gap. It makes no sense. Majority of this women complaining about no good men do not prioritize a man's character, work ethic and values. They only care about the fun entertaining stuff. Once it's not fun anymore and they become a struggling babymama then all of sudden there are no good men. Stop the cap. Black women are the least married demographic, the largest group of babymamas and have the most babydaddies.
Thank you so much for giving me hope. I appreciate the reminder that there ARE some actual good real men in the world still. They are definitely unicorns though.
American people like to knock it but this is why we do prearranged marriages in Africa and worldwide. If you wish your daughter would find this type of man and it takes a community to raise a child your friends in your close circles should be raising their sons to be provider men under your watch as well because then you get to know the boy as he grows into a man and his culture as he’s being raised. He will then have a different kind of respect for you being a part of his life as a fathers friend and future son-in-law. Accountability - bm and bw don’t hold your friends and their children accountable and that also says a lot about you and how you're being intentional about your childrens' future by watching the company you keep and making sure they’re raising their kids to get along with yours as adults.
There's reasons for why women wanted choice with their marriage. If a woman wants to be arranged, fine, but it should be a choice and not a cultural obligation.
I dated someone last year who told me he was boring. During our first phone conversation: Him: I'm boring. I come home from work, catch up on current events, take a nap. That's pretty much it. Me: That's good! I like boring! Him: No one likes boring lol "Boring" to me says he doesn't party, doesn't go out and do questionable things, enjoys peace and being at home, likes doing projects around the house. Isn't drama and unreliable. I don't wonder what he's doing or where he is. He does what he says he'll do. We had a great foundation but he had major issues (his words: I'm effed up in the end) and ended it. We had potential for something wonderful, though. It was peaceful. It wasn't dramatic or fast. The attraction was intense and we also genuinely liked each other, had lots in common, talked for hours, felt peaceful and refreshed after talking on the phone. That's what I'm looking for.
First, I want to said congratulations to your grandfather and wish more blessings to come.💐🎉 Your grandfather reminds me of my grandfather and in today’s dating I just don’t see it 😢. I feel like the “good guy” holds on to alot hurt so when they meet someone that really like them for them thats the one they hurt (like zack and bliss off love is blind). I feel this generation has normalize detachment. My grandfather loved my grandmother for just the small things they build together even facing racism. In today’s society they are saying get with a women to build then leave. (Like the saying “don’t let your girlfriend stop you from finding your wife” 😟) The loyalty and appreciation for each other has disappeared sadly.
I was waiting for this video. I appreciate your perspective it opens other thought process. One thing I have noticed because of the social systemic climate we are told chasing good feelings and a comfort spots is the way to go not saying it's bad just it's there. Good feelings doesn't really equal to just "Being, Growing, Moving with Change". Comfort spots doesn't equal "Effort, working with Ease and Not to Ignore what makes you Uncomfortable". What I want in my partner is something I'm also implementing for myself. Even though this was short it did make me think 🤔
I respectfully disagree. I think it's these "nice guys/good guys" that are playing psychological warfare on us... it sucks because they aren't the pookies/ray-ray's at all.. they are visually very stable, they talk a good game about how they want a good woman, who is natural, and doesnt thot around, and such woman comes in and cooperates..but the man play games? It's very very tricky. Yes, he's a man of very few words, but a lazy one at that, very low effort, he has a disdain for modern women, but has no problem contributing to modern women bad behavior (pre-marital sex, and one night stands to scratch that itch). Oh I was talking to a "good guy" some time back, and he dropped me because I didnt have a social media. I am thankful though, it got got so bad it forced me back in therapy because I am not trying to grow up to be a resentful and bitter old maid.
I’m sorry about your experience but I want to point out that there are good guys and there are guys pretending to be good. It takes discernment and a little patience to be able to tell which is which but it comes out. I’ve noticed that the guys pretending to be good are very impatient and they contradict themselves a lot.
A man's words don't matter, his ACTIONS are everything. If a man is not in alignment with the GOOD things that he says, then he's not a good man. Even if his actions do line up, a GOOD, truly God fearing woman will have the discernment to peep that he's a wolf in 🐑 clothing despite everything. Bad men are almost ALWAYS walking, talking red flags, it's just a matter of properly paying attention and having solid discernment.
thank you all for your advice. I will take them and meditate on it. I made a bad judgement call, this person was a long time friend, so I had years to vet him, and ask all the questions, but I seem to only hear what I wanted to hear, and I take full accountability for it and will move with discernment from henceforth.
Your lucky to have such a wonderful grandfather to look up to!🙏❤️It's rare nowadays. Thank you for reminding the rest of us what a "real" man truly is✊👍❤️You exemplify your grandfather, I hope he's proud✊✝️❤️
I have to disagree with this one too, because this takes us directly back to the high value men and the mgtow or whatever they're called. Black men who so much as have the most bare basic adult skills largely interpret that as too good to be wasted on a woman who's Black. It's a pejorative stereotype to assume Black women are missing good men because we desire swagger. It's also, sadly an insult to injury plus blaming the victims of this gender-based racism that's destroying the African American family's future.
Finding a good man meant expanding my network to date men from other races, backgrounds and cultures. I moved abroad 7 years ago and it was really the only option but I'm glad I opened myself up cause I feel like foreign men value marriage, relationships and family way more. American men seem so brainwashed to me. I know there are some good guys around BUT i feel like red pill has poisoned their minds.
Wonderful!!! I'm not sure if you have done content on this subject. Will you do a video on Prenuptial agreements? I keep hearing different information even among believers.
Lawyers say do it. Be careful with men of the faith because many of them have very restrictive beliefs about women in marriage that was not the case in biblical society. A huge example is last names. Biblical people did not have last names -- that is a very recent development. Even today, many cultures do not observe wives taking their husband's last name. Yet tell a man _(I'm Black, so a Black man)_ that you'd never take your husband's last name and they'll throw a hissyfit. Then they'll claim that's the reason they don't wanna marry you even when they never intended to...
💯 I'm definitely been telling myself and other brothers this for years now I'm definitely going to do better this year P.S. this goes for y'all too 😂 Some of y'all ladies are becoming bad as we are if you're not going to work you're going to church or if you're going home LOL😂
We need to define "good" though. In my opinion, the type of men and women single people of God should be looking for, have their eyes open for are other single godly people. I think the term "good" should mean "God-fearing" or "Christ-follower". Problem is, the term "good" normally means "hard-working", "family-man", "traditional", "goes-to-church", etc. The term "Godly" can include these, but, a person can have all of these and be ungodly. I know men who fit into several of these categories. But, I personally, do not know ANY single bm that are God-fearing, Christ-followers. But, I do know several women who are Christ-followers. Most of those women can be found somewhere - mostly at some church. Unless a single man goes to a God-ordained church on a regular basis, I'm not interested because chances are quite high, he's simply a "good" man according to the world's standards and those "good" men are a dime a dozen out here in these streets. They are EVERYWHERE. It's the God-fearing, Christ-follower single men that are NOT everywhere - not even in church where they should be. Plus, many single men that are in church, are not even Christ-followers. But, if he IS a Christ-follower, that should be one of the main places where a single woman can see him, should be able to find them.
@@Ebizzill Exactly. Submission is for husbands; not random men on the street, boyfriends, or fiances. A truly masculine man would NEVER ask a woman to submit to him. The way he carries himself allows it to happen naturally for whatever woman he chooses to marry.
Women miss out on them because they want the pookies and lil neckbone and nem for now and want the so called good dude later in life and to me that has to be the most disrespectful thing a woman could do. If you were not with me on my grind I dont want to see you at that finishline PS: Men are not getting married because women dont want to stay married. They want the wedding but not the marriage.
The problem is that the media promotes "good girl falls in love with bad boy" troupe "Grease"or "nice guy fall in love with popular conceded girl" "Can't Buy Me Love" troupe. I never been a fan of it. I don't find thugs attractive at all. Anyway I love that you pointed out good girls being ignored as well. People always want a person who's outside of who they are and outside of what they stand for because it seems exciting and fun. However, it never leads to a positive outcome & you end up lonely and heartbroken in the end.
This is so true 👍 👏
As a teenageri never cared if she was good girl or not. My focus was
How soon is she gonna let me have sex
how good her body looks
i didnt go for bad girls, in my teens i didnt care about looks either.
Just the body and switft access to it.
alot of good men can have a bad boy past but never date a man still in the trenches. Guys love bad girls too.
In "Love Don't Cost a Thing" Christina character was still smart, just gullible to peer-pressure.
Plus, "nice guy" =/= "good man".
They can keep the lit men. Morals,standards, and purpose of a man is much more attractive.
Jesus Christ & character will always outweigh flashy things & cash anyday.✝️🙏💯
I hope we can get more men and women to understand that
@@TheShumakeWay I agree. If we all did, this world would be better. Truly, we need the Lord.
Anytime I hear a man talking about God it's an automatic red flag. They always end up being the absolute worst ones. Using god to manipulate.
Amen to that!
It's so hard out here. The quiet girl and the good guy hardly get to meet anymore 😢
How did they meet before? I think dating apps have let quiet people present themselves even more.
Queit people don't like each other unfortunately
@@digthewarmthour culture is so different now. Ppl are morally confused. The appreciation for quiet girls, good guys, whatever we want to call them is very hard to find. Even among ppl who say they want a good guy or a good woman, they don't even have the wisdom or understanding to recognize it when they see it. Men get sucked into toxic relationships with toxic women, don't stick to their standards (many don't even know what kind of standards to set) and then the toll from the emotional damage makes it difficult, if not impossible, for him to have a healthy relationship with a good woman when I finally meets one. The same is true for women.
Congratulations to your grandfather! My dad would have been 91 this year and my parents were married 50 years. Men during this time were about purpose. They didn't sit around complaining about women and white folk. My dad broke color barriers and was chairman of this, and president of that, on the board of this and so on and so forth, lol! He picked cotton as a kid and would miss part of school to help out the family but he got the highest score on his college entrance exam. To this day I haven't been able to find a man with 1/10 the qualities of my father.
Well said Shumake. Unfortunately I never knew my grandfather. He died before I was born, but to this day his old students (he was a principal and a teacher) say that he was a huge influence in their lives. A lot of his male students credit him for helping them navigate manhood.
Same. A lot of women with good men in their family have this same problem.
A focused man might look like a boring man upon first glance. That is so true
I have been feeling down because my man has been busy and withdrawn lately... but you reminded me that it's not neccessarily a bad thing he is focused on our future and creating a stable foundation for our family. It's tough... but I would much rather take the stable guy over the party animal any day!
Oef ma'am same thing going on over here! Im also feeling down and even thinking that I dont want this anymore. But that is so so stupid to think because we are very close but my husband also wants a better future for us and for me, therefore he has te work more and I need to appreciatie that more! But it just sometimes feels distant if you know what I mean. Take care💋💋
💯
You are a wise young man. I'm an old dude. I have lived my life as you describe your grandfather. I am heartened by your commentary. You are on the right track. Thank you for your efforts to guide young men and women to the path that will lead them to a life of contentment, as opposed to the torment of superficial, empty longing for the sugar high.
Congratulations to your grandfather! The mark of a man is his character...he reminds me of the men I grew up with and I miss them...
I think the title should be why good people cannot find good people...
I really love your channel and everything you stand for. I'm a Dating Coach and one of the most common questions I get is "where are the good men?" I tell them "EVERYWHERE!!! There is no shortage!!!" The REAL QUESTION is " why aren't you meeting AND/OR recognizing them?"
Thats a whole different thought process!!
Thank you for this GODLY and GOOD word brotha!! I emailed you before but I hope you'll be on my SOUL CARE FOR SINGLE BLACK WOMEN show next season.
If there is no shortage, they'd be easier to encounter. Are they not attracted to these women? What is the definition of "good man" being used? Because "nice guy" =/= "good man".
Congratulations to your grandpa ❤️ he very inspiring!!! A man with a plan! That’s the kind of man I want! He’s a true leader! We need more guys like that!
Salute to your Granddad & all stand up men.
It's hard to trust that and not get hurt again. 😢
This video made me so emotional... it is men and women we got to look for as husbands and wives God designed .... devoted to God and to each other.
The material things come and go, go up and down... you want to look for someone who as a person has stromg moral values, standards, principles that you both share at the core... because when the storms in life come, because they will, you both are strong and solidly have each other's back whilst trusting and seeking God's direction ❤
Thank you for sharing your granddad's example with us ❤ God bless you and your family, may He prosper everything you do and bring you peace, Shumake!
Such an important message! Thank you. Im white Polish we had different problems of poverty and civil war situation and when I think about my own dad (70 today) who had nothing but the army suit, proposed to my mom after 4 months only conversating, they are together still and today my dad is wealthy with mom. thinking you granddad and your dad and you and my dad would shake the hand of one another and the skin completion would not matter. Moral cores and integrity are way above it.
Another excellent video Shumake!! Focused does look BORING…until the fruits of your labor arrive 🤞🏾
I follow your drift, but with good men it’s not about attention and being noticed. They are out of that lane on the freeway of life. It’s about what those men want and whether or not they are doing anything to get it. For example, the kind of woman a good man want. Does he actually want a good woman? Many good men don’t, and prefer a summer or loose type woman to light his fire. He want his fire lit. And those type of women are the ones not noticing him.
So, women are not missing out on good men, it’s actually good men who are missing out on good women. Bcuz they do nothing to get the kind of woman they want and expect women to notice and come looking for them. How is a woman supposed to know they are good men and these good men actually want her? There’s no possible way without effort from a man. These guys don’t want to make an effort and just be noticed, and pout when they are not.
And most good women been thru the mill with that. Taking a chance going for guys that turns out to be a waste bcuz these guys, most of whom are good men, don’t really want them. They’ll settle and accept these women if they come and give themselves away, but don’t really want them. Even after getting a good woman they don’t do anything to keep her.
So, you know, men gotta do their part. And go for somebody they really want and make a diligent effort to get her. Bcuz if men keep saying women are the ones losing out, it shows that they haven’t changed, don’t intend to change, and will continue showing good women who goes for them that they don’t really want them.
If there's a good man out there that doesn't want a good woman... then he's not a good man. That's a red flag.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 Well, no…
What people want hasn’t always to do with that bcuz lots of good women don’t want a good man either. Bcuz on both sides the good man and woman don’t like each other and prefers the bad boy or wild summer girl. A good woman is still good, but may see a good man as boring. And the same is true for good men.
Like how we hear a lot of good women say things like: I want a man who provides and leads, and with a little bad boy in him. And likewise, we hear a lot of good men say things like: Good women don’t do it for me. And just bcuz good people don’t want another good person doesn’t mean they are not good.
It just means that their perception is underdeveloped and impaired. Good people have to learn to like each other, and until they do, their preference is gonna teach them hard lessons.
Which all has to do with immaturity and fully growing up. Whereas the body reaches adulthood after a certain time but the psyche doesn’t, and is still in the early childhood and seeking early childhood things. Crossing everything adult over to a need for childish stimulation, chastisement, control, and excitement.
So, the red flag present in such a man is not that he’s not a good man, but more so, that he’s not ready to be with a woman.
@@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy Then they're NOT good; as in not good to be in a relationship with and they still have a massive amount of work to do. If they want someone "bad" AT ALL... that's toxic, and not a defining trait in what one would consider a "good" man or woman. Truly good men and women who are GOOD for a serious relationship actually want a good counterpart.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 I did my best to explain it to you. So, I’ll just leave it.
I agree with a lot of what you said. It’s the effort on the “Good Man” part. My son is in middle school and he said the girls like the bad boys. I told him, they like the bad boys because the bad boys are simply talking to them and engaging with them and responding to the playfulness. It’s not that they are “bad”, they aren’t too shy. My son is a laid back, kind, shy guy. One day he got up the courage to interact a little. Oooh the stories he tells me now lol He interacted a little and the girls responded. He is building friendships with them and starting to learn more about them. I love the stories and we talk about it. I also got my “I told you” in there lol I say the same for good men. Women want them to interact with us. Let us know you are there. Me personally, I dated a “bad boy “ ONCE and that’s not my type. The extra attractive man isn’t my type either, my type is the good guy but they are shy and hard to come across. Where they at 👀 lol
Dont ask anything from someone unless you are willing to offer the same!
Thank God for you and your granddaddy!! THERES NOTHING LIKE MEN WITH STANDARDS AND INTEGRITY!!! ITS SO ATTRACTIVE AND WORTH WAITING FOR!!
I think there’s a lack of men who actually go up to women these days no matter how much a women puts herself out there. Many good men just sit and don’t ever initiate anything.
Where do these men hang out?! I sure can't find them nor are they finding me. 😔
Exactly. What about the hundreds or thousands of women that are just like the good men you describe? Why are we not finding these good men. The ones who are in shape, are not staying in the house, are not drinking smoking, living the city girl life, financially stable, career, house, car,…what about us? I still have a difficult time finding a good men, and my friends and coworkers are in the same boat.
@@lelo46 maybe cause a lot of that stuff doesn’t matter. You can have all of those things and still aren’t able to actively listen to a man.
I have a video titled - How to upgrade your dating pool. I talked about where they are in it.
I'd say Church but I've heard countless stories from women about predatory fake Christian men.
@@lelo46 I think I can speak to that because I’m dealing with that right now so I’m definitely a good dude but because I’m not financially stable as the females would like me to be they pass over me now I’m stable in working towards being financially stable as I want to be but that doesn’t take away from me being a hard worker loving caring loyal dude don’t be out smoking drinking going to clubs like that really thought I was the type of dude that a female would want but I realize a female doesn’t want a good man they want a man that’s on the standard they hold
Thank you for everything that you shared about your grandfather.
He is a phenomenal man and it has very clearly been passed down to you as well.
Glad to hear that there are still good people in this world.
I have disdain for the term modern woman because it seems as though it is a scarlett letter and dog whistle. But I really do appreciate your commentary. Salute to your grandfather.
Yes. We're all humans living in the modern era... that's been the case since the 1900s. Even the 1950s housewife they want us to be were "modern women". 🙄
I know the dude you used for your picture at the bottom right... lol. MTL, Canada
Thank you Sir Shumake. And I believe that you have spoken into existence those blessings over your family.
🎉CONGRATS PAWPAW!! CUZO dropped that knowledge today! I told you before "I'm watching you become a millionaire" BEFORE I knew that greatness was in your bloodline!!! ❤ ask God EVERDAY for the gifts he has in store for you and RECEIVE them cuzo, in Jesus name
Thank you for this amazing story and message 🙏🏽 god bless you and your family
Being a good man is only a fraction of what it takes to get and hold the attention of a woman, there also has to be attraction and chemistry and the ability to sell a woman on yourself to even get in the door. Women are out here amassing their own real estate portfolios and matching whatever men bring financially. They can "protect and provide) for themselves. You have to ask yourself what do you add and how does your presence make another person feel better with you than without you. If you don't make them feel any kind of way, someone else will. Women will leave a "good man' that covers the basics for a great/better man who does all of that AND makes them laugh, is passionate about them, and keeps life interesting. Its a competition.
I liken it to being a "hot dog" versus a "tube of ground-up leftover parts of a cow, a pig and a chicken" Same thing, but one of them knows how to market itself in an emotionally and aesthetically appealing way... Which one would you buy?
Facts....
👏👏
This is bullshit and disingenuous. The majority of women do not have real estate portfolios, stop the bs. Y'all women really out here thinking you're all CEOs. In one breath y'all are making all this money then in the next breath you're complaining about a gender pay gap. It makes no sense. Majority of this women complaining about no good men do not prioritize a man's character, work ethic and values.
They only care about the fun entertaining stuff. Once it's not fun anymore and they become a struggling babymama then all of sudden there are no good men. Stop the cap. Black women are the least married demographic, the largest group of babymamas and have the most babydaddies.
Bunch of nonsense! Most evicted!
Thank you so much for giving me hope. I appreciate the reminder that there ARE some actual good real men in the world still. They are definitely unicorns though.
As someone in a healthy relationship, I agree with this so much.
🗣️yaaaaasssss!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
American people like to knock it but this is why we do prearranged marriages in Africa and worldwide. If you wish your daughter would find this type of man and it takes a community to raise a child your friends in your close circles should be raising their sons to be provider men under your watch as well because then you get to know the boy as he grows into a man and his culture as he’s being raised.
He will then have a different kind of respect for you being a part of his life as a fathers friend and future son-in-law. Accountability - bm and bw don’t hold your friends and their children accountable and that also says a lot about you and how you're being intentional about your childrens' future by watching the company you keep and making sure they’re raising their kids to get along with yours as adults.
There's reasons for why women wanted choice with their marriage.
If a woman wants to be arranged, fine, but it should be a choice and not a cultural obligation.
It’s a blessing to have lived 92 years and a blessing for y’all still to have him
Thank you so much 💗🙏🏾
You talking right young man and I hear you Marching keep it going!💪🧡🫵
I dated someone last year who told me he was boring. During our first phone conversation:
Him: I'm boring. I come home from work, catch up on current events, take a nap. That's pretty much it.
Me: That's good! I like boring!
Him: No one likes boring lol
"Boring" to me says he doesn't party, doesn't go out and do questionable things, enjoys peace and being at home, likes doing projects around the house. Isn't drama and unreliable. I don't wonder what he's doing or where he is. He does what he says he'll do.
We had a great foundation but he had major issues (his words: I'm effed up in the end) and ended it. We had potential for something wonderful, though. It was peaceful. It wasn't dramatic or fast. The attraction was intense and we also genuinely liked each other, had lots in common, talked for hours, felt peaceful and refreshed after talking on the phone. That's what I'm looking for.
First, I want to said congratulations to your grandfather and wish more blessings to come.💐🎉
Your grandfather reminds me of my grandfather and in today’s dating I just don’t see it 😢. I feel like the “good guy” holds on to alot hurt so when they meet someone that really like them for them thats the one they hurt (like zack and bliss off love is blind). I feel this generation has normalize detachment. My grandfather loved my grandmother for just the small things they build together even facing racism. In today’s society they are saying get with a women to build then leave. (Like the saying “don’t let your girlfriend stop you from finding your wife” 😟) The loyalty and appreciation for each other has disappeared sadly.
I was waiting for this video. I appreciate your perspective it opens other thought process. One thing I have noticed because of the social systemic climate we are told chasing good feelings and a comfort spots is the way to go not saying it's bad just it's there. Good feelings doesn't really equal to just "Being, Growing, Moving with Change". Comfort spots doesn't equal "Effort, working with Ease and Not to Ignore what makes you Uncomfortable". What I want in my partner is something I'm also implementing for myself. Even though this was short it did make me think 🤔
Beautiful king 👑 ❤️👏🏽👏🏽boring is good 😊 I’m 43 and I don’t want no lit man 😇
I respectfully disagree. I think it's these "nice guys/good guys" that are playing psychological warfare on us... it sucks because they aren't the pookies/ray-ray's at all.. they are visually very stable, they talk a good game about how they want a good woman, who is natural, and doesnt thot around, and such woman comes in and cooperates..but the man play games?
It's very very tricky. Yes, he's a man of very few words, but a lazy one at that, very low effort, he has a disdain for modern women, but has no problem contributing to modern women bad behavior (pre-marital sex, and one night stands to scratch that itch).
Oh I was talking to a "good guy" some time back, and he dropped me because I didnt have a social media.
I am thankful though, it got got so bad it forced me back in therapy because I am not trying to grow up to be a resentful and bitter old maid.
I’m sorry about your experience but I want to point out that there are good guys and there are guys pretending to be good. It takes discernment and a little patience to be able to tell which is which but it comes out. I’ve noticed that the guys pretending to be good are very impatient and they contradict themselves a lot.
A man's words don't matter, his ACTIONS are everything. If a man is not in alignment with the GOOD things that he says, then he's not a good man. Even if his actions do line up, a GOOD, truly God fearing woman will have the discernment to peep that he's a wolf in 🐑 clothing despite everything. Bad men are almost ALWAYS walking, talking red flags, it's just a matter of properly paying attention and having solid discernment.
thank you all for your advice. I will take them and meditate on it.
I made a bad judgement call, this person was a long time friend, so I had years to vet him, and ask all the questions, but I seem to only hear what I wanted to hear, and I take full accountability for it and will move with discernment from henceforth.
@@Ebizzill ❤️🙏🏿
Your lucky to have such a wonderful grandfather to look up to!🙏❤️It's rare nowadays. Thank you for reminding the rest of us what a "real" man truly is✊👍❤️You exemplify your grandfather, I hope he's proud✊✝️❤️
I have to disagree with this one too, because this takes us directly back to the high value men and the mgtow or whatever they're called. Black men who so much as have the most bare basic adult skills largely interpret that as too good to be wasted on a woman who's Black. It's a pejorative stereotype to assume Black women are missing good men because we desire swagger. It's also, sadly an insult to injury plus blaming the victims of this gender-based racism that's destroying the African American family's future.
Doesn't make any sense. Why shouldn't' good black men date black women?
This is awesome!!!! ❤❤❤
This is a powerful video. There is wisdom in your words. Thank you 🙏
one of the realest things ive ever heard God bless
Congratulations to your grandfather and family!
He said the have a baddd marketing team and I felt that. Makes me look into my marketing team. Great topic great articulation just great all around.
Happy Retirement to your Grampa.🎉
Absolutely 💯❤
Faith belongs here
Finding a good man meant expanding my network to date men from other races, backgrounds and cultures. I moved abroad 7 years ago and it was really the only option but I'm glad I opened myself up cause I feel like foreign men value marriage, relationships and family way more. American men seem so brainwashed to me. I know there are some good guys around BUT i feel like red pill has poisoned their minds.
You're not supposed to find a man... that's the problem with the video. The "diamond in the rough" needs to put themselves out there
Wonderful!!! I'm not sure if you have done content on this subject. Will you do a video on Prenuptial agreements? I keep hearing different information even among believers.
Lawyers say do it. Be careful with men of the faith because many of them have very restrictive beliefs about women in marriage that was not the case in biblical society.
A huge example is last names. Biblical people did not have last names -- that is a very recent development. Even today, many cultures do not observe wives taking their husband's last name. Yet tell a man _(I'm Black, so a Black man)_ that you'd never take your husband's last name and they'll throw a hissyfit. Then they'll claim that's the reason they don't wanna marry you even when they never intended to...
Its not about money..its knowing how to enjoy and live life...sing dance laugh...create work together ❤..play sports..travel educate
Too bad no one cares. It's all about paying bills
Men these days need to realize you u need to get out and socialize hang out with friends and family begin a house hermit will get u no where
💯
I'm definitely been telling myself and other brothers this for years now I'm definitely going to do better this year
P.S. this goes for y'all too 😂
Some of y'all ladies are becoming bad as we are if you're not going to work you're going to church or if you're going home LOL😂
Take ya time big nigga take ya time !!!
We need to define "good" though. In my opinion, the type of men and women single people of God should be looking for, have their eyes open for are other single godly people. I think the term "good" should mean "God-fearing" or "Christ-follower". Problem is, the term "good" normally means "hard-working", "family-man", "traditional", "goes-to-church", etc. The term "Godly" can include these, but, a person can have all of these and be ungodly. I know men who fit into several of these categories. But, I personally, do not know ANY single bm that are God-fearing, Christ-followers. But, I do know several women who are Christ-followers. Most of those women can be found somewhere - mostly at some church. Unless a single man goes to a God-ordained church on a regular basis, I'm not interested because chances are quite high, he's simply a "good" man according to the world's standards and those "good" men are a dime a dozen out here in these streets. They are EVERYWHERE. It's the God-fearing, Christ-follower single men that are NOT everywhere - not even in church where they should be. Plus, many single men that are in church, are not even Christ-followers. But, if he IS a Christ-follower, that should be one of the main places where a single woman can see him, should be able to find them.
Submit to and allow him to lead......now that's what I've been waiting for.
Submit means to bend to the will of another by force
submit to "your husband" .. why do people leave that out???????
@@Ebizzill Exactly. Submission is for husbands; not random men on the street, boyfriends, or fiances. A truly masculine man would NEVER ask a woman to submit to him. The way he carries himself allows it to happen naturally for whatever woman he chooses to marry.
@@ineedhoez Not true. It’s not by force. You can choose to submit or not to submit. It depends on what you want.
Probably modern men lose out on good women too for the same reason
I think it’s more so men are missing out on good women
It's definitely both
Good video
I like “boring” though
good men😅😅😅😅😅 yeah nice guy
Whomever is married to you .got a good one too! 😊
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
…and vice versa.
Asè 🙏🏾✨✨😊🎤
Women miss out on them because they want the pookies and lil neckbone and nem for now and want the so called good dude later in life and to me that has to be the most disrespectful thing a woman could do.
If you were not with me on my grind I dont want to see you at that finishline
PS: Men are not getting married because women dont want to stay married. They want the wedding but not the marriage.
🙄 But the same men don't mind "shacking up"/ procreating/ etc. Don't act like y'all want marriage benefits without the legal duties
@@Heyu7her3 I don't have any children nor am I "shackin"...
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11:10
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