MY ANOREXIA RECOVERY // Recovering in a disordered society

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  • Опубликовано: 19 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 66

  • @nalia8522
    @nalia8522 5 лет назад +15

    "In recovery you'll probably be less disordered than normal people."
    This! 💯💯💯 that was one of the biggest surprises for me in recovery; I was blown away by just how many (regular) people have completely unhealthy relationships, from arbitrary rules to diets, etc. Crazy! But seeing that actually made me feel way more confident in my recovery!

    • @kenziejinx203
      @kenziejinx203 2 года назад +1

      Honestly! Blows me away and makes me honestly grateful that I have been through a severe ED so that I can take a huge step back and notice disordered behaviors in other people, and heal myself. I don't think I would have been able to have such a perspective if I hadn't gone through ED hell

  • @sarahmockingbird6433
    @sarahmockingbird6433 6 лет назад +38

    I understand what you were saying; I've never been on a diet either. I think anorexia is different than dieting. I think of this way: when other people do something such as not eat carbs after 4 or exercise daily it is sort of like benign cancer in one area. They can keep it there. Me, on the other hand, that "cancer" is malignant and morphs and grows and spreads to every area of my body. My quality of life is adversely affected. Also, it can sometimes go undetected and seem to be in remission. But if I were to try any form of restriction that cancer will be back in a flash. I cannot play around with food or exercise if I want to be healthy. And I do want to be healthy even if the "medicine" is painful at times. Okay, I'll stop with the analogy now. Apologies to those with actual cancer.

  • @dearMxDaring
    @dearMxDaring 6 лет назад +25

    One of my classmates is eating salad and vegetables all day long because she thinks otherwise she'll "get fat". And then there's me, recovering from Anorexia, and I'm like "You know what, maybe you should just try to accept your body as it is", but ofc I can't say this to her. I really try to tell myself that it's none of my business but I just feel like uuughhh wtf is wrong with society.

  • @cinnamojelly
    @cinnamojelly 6 лет назад +13

    I really needed this video. I'm in the middle of recovery and I've gotten better at letting myself eat things I normally wouldn't. I never allowed myself any peanut butter so today for a snack I straight up ate just peanut butter with a spoon. Then the people I was around told me I shouldn't be doing that and it's not healthy. I always feel so weird eating what I crave because society dubs it unhealthy, but I know it's just my body trying to get back to normal. I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing this. Thank you.

  • @MadisonTiahn
    @MadisonTiahn 6 лет назад +13

    I had a bone scan the other week and the lady told me “I need to lose x kgs and you look like you could use x kgs. I wish we could swap and I’d have your self control...”
    IGNORANCE.
    I adore you. Love you.

  • @Snickerdoods.x
    @Snickerdoods.x 6 лет назад +31

    I was just thinking about this. It’s hard because weight gain is almost always seen as a bad thing even if someone is really thin and LOOKS unhealthy. The only people who understand are people who know what I’m dealing with, but others have made comments that I should be careful because “you don’t want to get fat.” It makes it SO hard to keep on with gaining weight back because I feel like I’m being judged especially because of how much I’m eating compared to a “normal” person. Although even people in my life who know what I’m dealing with this are on their own diets and they’ll start talking about it to me and I kind of want to punch them in the face 😂 plus I’ve learned so much about the science behind how diets don’t work, and about health at every size, that it’s so hard not to lecture them about it and tell them hey don’t torture yourself with this ridiculous diet because it’s not going to work and you’ll probably just gain it all back plus more. If I have to hear about the keto diet one more time I’m going to scream lol carbs are so important for the body and especially the brain, I don’t know how people can possibly feel good cutting them out. I start wondering if they’re honestly just trying to convince themselves that it’s true because I know I’ve done that before. What’s interesting though is that someone cutting out food groups and obsessively exercising in order to lose weight under the guise of health so much that it’s taking over their life is seen as someone being “driven” and people who do that are looked up to, but.... is that not disordered? Okay I’m done rambling haha I love this topic, thanks for posting. You always make great points.

    • @linaluthor1335
      @linaluthor1335 6 лет назад +6

      I honestly think it's a placebo effect. Like, people get a high from cutting carbs because they think they'll finally have the body they've always dreamed of and eventually be happy. That high may keep them going for a while, until the glycogen runs out and they feel awful. That's when the diet ends most of the time (I guess?)
      I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that tho. Congrats for committing to recovery!

  • @abigailchappell5754
    @abigailchappell5754 6 лет назад +5

    Yes, this video is so true, Megsy! I spent 10 years in an ED bubble, and now I'm trying to leave the bubble, only to find that SOCIETY IS TOTALLY WEIRD ABOUT WEIGHT/FOOD/EXERCISE, TOO!
    And I get that they don't have EDs like we do, but it's surely not healthy and not helpful!

  • @eleanorbouchard4346
    @eleanorbouchard4346 6 лет назад +3

    I completely agree with this. It is so difficult to recover when there are so many triggers in every day life. Even though we can’t wrap ourselves in cotton wool and pretend people don’t exercise/restrict, I think we all know what stage of recovery we are at and if it’s not helpful to you, block it all out! Unfollow/block/tell people it’s triggering for you and there will come a time where we can brush past the comments and say ‘whatever, you do you’. Thank you for talking about this Meg 💖

  • @prescillia8471
    @prescillia8471 6 лет назад +8

    I totally agree with you especially when your family is concerned... I’m currently trying hard to not listened to my parents when they’re like : oh I mustn’t eat carb at dinner, oh I have to eat protein ! .... wtf? Really, and 5 minutes ago people were telling me you HAVE TO EAT MORE FAT! Or stuff like that ... but anyway... do the opposite action and carry on
    Thanks you Meg for this video you’re fabulous as always

  • @DannyFinest
    @DannyFinest 6 лет назад +12

    One of my triggers is when a friend says they wish they could be as thin as me

    • @TheMarbellous1
      @TheMarbellous1 5 лет назад +1

      Danny Finest that is the worst comment isn’t it, along with “oh I wish I could gave a figure like yours “!!!! 🙀🙀

  • @h_2503
    @h_2503 6 лет назад +4

    The fitbit thing reminded me of your dentist analogy! Sadly I agree - I don't think society is going to change re the diet mentality. Whenever it and exercise regimes come up in conversation I immediately try to think about something else and try to change the conversation. It hasn't happened in a long while though and I have found when it does I am more mentally strong (does that make sense?!) and think 'you are living your life, I am living mine, I am seeking balance'. Though I too have a loong history of anorexia, I am also one that has never actively dieted or even had the thought to and you are right, it does sound odd! Based on my own experience I would say anorexia doesn't stem from a diet 'taken too far' but then again, I have heard other sufferers who have said this. I don't know, the whole mentality around it is such a complex thing! Different brain wiring as you say! Thank you for making this video. They make me feel less alone x

  • @TheMarbellous1
    @TheMarbellous1 5 лет назад +1

    I needed this this morning (I’m in UK) and it’s good that I watch you at home on my own as I’m constantly agreeing with you out loud lol!! I can’t believe how many times I am sitting here nodding my head as you talk about eating disorder experience and your journey to recovery. I really like your honesty and especially how you describe how difficult it is even at a “healthy” weight. It’s great that you understand and I trust you because you are DOING it daily and taking us with you for the ups and downs. Keep strong xxxx 💜💜💜

  • @DOdO-_
    @DOdO-_ 6 лет назад +4

    Me neither ! I've never intentionally went on a diet! That's often what it is to develop an eating disorder, restricting gradually for many reasons without being aware of that process, until it gets really bad.

    • @DOdO-_
      @DOdO-_ 6 лет назад

      By the way, if you were a psychologist specialized in eating disorders, I would definitively consult you!!!

  • @abigailchappell5754
    @abigailchappell5754 6 лет назад +9

    "When did bodies stop being bodies? When did they stop knowing how to do body shit?" --Megsy.
    I love it. :)

  • @laurarobertson2825
    @laurarobertson2825 6 лет назад +5

    I totally relate and understand your message. It’s not just public society it’s also all over the media, government department and health professionals encouraging this disordered environment. Great video. Wish that one day society will change and focus on actually helping us recover from the most deadliest mental health illness.

  • @miniminerva9120
    @miniminerva9120 6 лет назад +4

    OMG IT IS LIKE AS IF YOU UPLOADED AT TIME:
    today I went out for the first time to eat out with my friends...
    Well basically I ordered gnocchis and my friends ordered pizza (it was a healthy vegan restaurant) and they all started to try to give their portions to the others like..??? And then one of them was on a diet and she was all obsessed all week just to "cheat" on that day and I was SOO triggered... Well basically they finished their plate and despite their desires to have dessert they were saying "oh im so full, I cannot have dessert"... They ordered 2 desserts to split into 3. After that they started having the dessert and saying things like: oh tomorrow i will need to hit the gym, tonight i am not having dinner AND SO ON!!!!! i was soo done and triggered!!!!

  • @hettijayne
    @hettijayne 3 года назад

    I totally get this. I worked in the fitness industry for a long time during my recovery and in the height of my bulimia and it was honestly so triggering. And even now I’m fully recovered I notice so much toxic diet culture in society now and fat phobia it’s awful and there’s no wonder there’s so many of us struggling with food and disordered eating.

  • @kathleendowner6506
    @kathleendowner6506 4 года назад +1

    Oh my god my. Sister did that yesterday and I felt so cross because it triggered me questioning am I doing the right thing as I tucked into my picnic she said how good she was being and I thought oh should I be watching my intake but thanks to you I kept repeating challenging thanks so much

  • @lauraramosdelgado
    @lauraramosdelgado 4 года назад

    Loved this video, thank you for sharing. This one is a hard one, especially when people really close to you do diets or extreme workout regimes but its like you say: one needs to stay on our own path and remember that doesn't work for us (me).

  • @irisireneful
    @irisireneful 6 лет назад +3

    The reality is though is that more people are over weight than underweight in our society. Western society anyways. So when people are talking about cutting carbs and having more energy, it is because they were probably overweight, and pre diabetic and honestly, high blood sugar makes a overweight person weak and lethargic. So, part of it is understanding that actually yes, most of our society needs to lose weight, so its not about holding your weight below your set point, it is actually getting to a healthy weight because like a anorexic person does not know how to eat, and understand hunger full cues neither does a person who is overweight. It is like the opposite side of the coin and really the same problem, reversed. So, when a overweight person eats less, they do get more energy, just like a underweight person who eats more, gets more energy.

  • @friendoftherese1
    @friendoftherese1 6 лет назад

    Yes! Brilliant video! I had a bit of a wobble over Thanksgiving (here in the U.S.A.) My sister (who I love to pieces!) can be triggering for me as she is hyper focused on keeping her weight at a certain number, so there was lots of disordered talk abounding. I usually eat dessert for every meal (yes, even breakfast!), but I didn't while my sister was visiting. Argh! You are absolutely correct when you say what may be fine for other people is so poisonous for those of us in recovery. This morning I was back to my usual chocolate-chip-cookies-after-breakfast routine. Eating Disorders are very sneaky!

  • @allie2342
    @allie2342 6 лет назад

    Oh your video came in at the right time. The last days, two of my major triggers hit me. First, a model who became a VS model for the first time this year was asked about her food and exercise routines. It makes me having thoughts like « its not right to eat everything, I should eat mainly salad and low carb foods like she does because why shall I let myself go and not have a body if I’m actually close to be as thin as she is?“ I know it sounds so superficial, but maybe someone can relate to my thoughts ... the second trigger is my mum, who says things like « many of my colleagues don’t eat carbs three times a day either so it’s perfectly fine that I’m not eating carbs for dinner every day” or “I’ve eaten enough carbs during the day” when I’m accusing her for restricting on carbs. So yes, to a great extent, society is totally brainwashed both online and offline, but yet I feel they are doing the right things even though I know they are not.

  • @maggvin3660
    @maggvin3660 4 года назад

    I totally feel the same way about this and it's been a huge problem for me. It's just so fkn annoying how all around they talk about weight loss...
    Thanks a lot for this video Meg!

  • @samuelleask1132
    @samuelleask1132 5 лет назад

    This is such a good video. Everyone should watch this video. Thanks so much for making this, Megsy!

  • @linaluthor1335
    @linaluthor1335 6 лет назад +1

    That's a constant struggle for my friend and I. Our classmates and even teachers make stupid comments about how we shouldn't eat and how weight gain is awful, food is our enemy etc etc
    It has got to the point that we'll have to miss out on a class brunch this week because our classmates can't stop saying things that are triggering and make us feel horrible. Side note is, we might lose some points in our overall grade because attendance is mandatory.
    But whatever, our mental health is worth more than a grade. We'll just hit the cafeteria by ourselves regardless.
    It's just stupid how "normal" people think it is to body and food shame

  • @kathleendowner6506
    @kathleendowner6506 4 года назад

    You have changed my life scary but oh my god I'm living thanks for sharing ❤️

  • @tashahebert6376
    @tashahebert6376 6 лет назад

    I struggle with people's comments about their own weight and eating habits all the time. Like you said though, I need to realize that what someone else eats doesn't affect me at all!

  • @hettijayne
    @hettijayne 4 года назад

    Love this so much and so so relatable. I’m a PT and used to work in a gym and have had to distant myself from old clients of mine/people I used to talk to about diets etc because they’re so still drenched in diet culture and it’s just toxic to me. I just can’t be around that anymore. And I’ve had to really just disconnect from them and tbh I don’t even want to be friends with them if that’s all they talk about. Once you stop dieting/restricting you realise how much life you actually miss when you diet 😂

  • @knittedrachael
    @knittedrachael 5 лет назад +1

    ive never been on a diet. a diet is a choice; something you can opt in and out of. i never chose to have an eating disorder

  • @yeneliagu6811
    @yeneliagu6811 6 лет назад +1

    thank you very much for the video! very motivating because is exactly that I think, we don´t have to pay attention to that rules because is exactly the opposite that we have to do, so....take our own way and keep fighting, our body is more inteligent that us so, we only have to listen to it, is the better way! :)

  • @anaestreia9682
    @anaestreia9682 4 года назад +2

    What if my natural body weight is overweight? That’s my struggle at the moment...

  • @viktoriavargefjord
    @viktoriavargefjord 6 лет назад +1

    This is so great! Thanks Meg!

  • @kellycannon9796
    @kellycannon9796 6 лет назад +1

    I love the vanilla frap!! You should try the pumpkin spice frap!! Amazing!

  • @kimlau3929
    @kimlau3929 6 лет назад

    It's the holiday season in the US and I literally experienced a panic attack when I had a bite of garlicky food. I immediately grew quiet and just wanted to get the taste out and it's crazy because it's so irrational. All these disordered thoughts appeared in my mind, like compensation and restriction, but then I tried hard, real hard to push that thoughts away and carried through the rest of my meal. It's so twisted like why am I cursed with this illness. I see others eating merrily and I'm having this crazy number game. It's a lifelong work to get better...

  • @alisonjohn
    @alisonjohn 6 лет назад +3

    I can so connect with you Meg. I totally understand the frustration you have with parts of society who dwell on dieting; weight control and the trendy diets that are current in society. I love people who aren't bothered with weight much and don't know what exercise is! Ha! ha! Axx

  • @zenacross5439
    @zenacross5439 6 лет назад

    I can relate so much to the things you say! Thank you so much ♥️ we just need to focus on ourselves 💪🏻 keep going! Xx

  • @cyclemania6280
    @cyclemania6280 6 лет назад

    I think the difference is another person can go on ‘x’ diet, or skip a meal, or have a New Years resolution to lose weight, but a week or day later they will have gone back to normal eating, or by the evening after skipping breakfast will eat to compensate but we are genetically wired, we start a diet and it goes to the extreme and never stops. If I skip one meal, I could easily start skipping every meal. And never stop.
    I hate the media always going on about New Years resolution diets. I just don’t watch the news or similar shows on tv at that time of year.

  • @bumpybackroads1581
    @bumpybackroads1581 6 лет назад

    i became ill (not with an eating disorder) in August of 2015 and we were having issues with nailing down exactly what was going on so i started tracking EVERYTHING about my body using my apple watch, my phone, and several “smart” medical devices that sunk with my phone:
    calories burned
    heart rate
    blood pressure
    temp.
    blood sugar
    pain level
    what i ate or didn’t eat.
    what i drank
    bowel movements
    you name it i kept track of it.
    turns out i have several chronic illnesses, but one of them is a heart condition that they didn’t find on the EKG and wouldn’t have found until they did the holter monitor that they wouldn’t have had a reason to do because the EKG came back clean.
    my apple watch was catching my heart rate at anywhere from 120-200 when at rest. my calories burned was through the roof.
    i DEFINITELY get the idea of it being too much, but if used appropriately, technology can do great things!

  • @lessienchan5739
    @lessienchan5739 4 года назад

    “I used to mentally eat and drink my food”
    Never have I related so much!!

  • @lenajazuk4231
    @lenajazuk4231 6 лет назад +3

    Being 45 I’m a subscriber of a few beauty after 40 ... 50 channels and all of those women have their own way of eating
    One of them on life time low carb counting calories eating despite the fact that she used to have bulimia and swears how eliminating carbs keeps her crazy sweet tooth at bay and cured her from ED ... sometimes she eats around 600 to 1200 a day if she feels a bit more soft around the waist
    Another one is drinking coffee till 1 or 2 pm followed by non fat eating with lots of protein and low carbs
    Another one a bit better but sees her food as fuel not as enjoyment
    All of them look really great and get praised in comments area and they also think they have a great relationship with food
    I haven’t seen a single beauty related RUclipsr my age who are not on top of their eating

    • @amf40920
      @amf40920 6 лет назад

      @lena jazuk I just messaged you. Hope you don't mind. Thx

    • @lenajazuk4231
      @lenajazuk4231 6 лет назад

      Amanda Fallon
      Not at all but where did you massage me?

    • @amf40920
      @amf40920 6 лет назад

      @@lenajazuk4231 Facebook Messenger

    • @lenajazuk4231
      @lenajazuk4231 6 лет назад +1

      Amanda Fallon
      Any chance you can massage me on Instagram at ljazuk?
      I don’t really use Face book 😊

  • @CarolinaGirlie313
    @CarolinaGirlie313 6 лет назад +1

    Yesssssss, love this so, so much! :)

  • @amymclellan583
    @amymclellan583 5 лет назад

    Needed this tonight!

  • @bremarie8392
    @bremarie8392 6 лет назад

    This video was everything I needed 💕✨

  • @alisonjohn
    @alisonjohn 6 лет назад +1

    I'm weirder than weird. I like cold foods like yogurt, cheese and milk stone cold but if they're not, then I won't eat the. It's the same with hot foods; won't eat them unless they're piping hot and perfect or it's a waste! I don't feel I'm comfortable with people who talk about dieting or going vegan, vegetarian. I don't want to know about other people's diets; different ways of eating. I get this at work with two women & I clench my jaws and my mind is screaming shut up!! Any comments about diet related issues makes me quite thoroughly annoyed. Fit it's don't work and they're NOT accurate!! Ax

    • @nellieeess
      @nellieeess 6 лет назад +1

      Alison John veganism isn’t a diet it’s a lifestyle! :)

  • @emilyl1260
    @emilyl1260 6 лет назад +1

    I cant explain how much i understand everything you said and how frustrating it is! Its difficult. Are you more comfortable with weight gain now or do you think that will come in time.. xx

  • @zeynep3117
    @zeynep3117 4 года назад

    I really hate when people say they don't eat after 6 or they don't eat sugar, cut out gluten etc. As you say they just carry on with their lives, either do the thing or forget what they said and move on. But I feel like shit because I eat too much sugar and it's unhealthy bla bla bla...I constantly have to remind myself that their diet talk is not supposed to shape my life but unfortunately it's so hard to ignore sometimes.

  • @rachel.c.p9302
    @rachel.c.p9302 6 лет назад

    Great video, as always! Could you provide the link to Emily Troscianko's RUclips channel? I'm pretty sure the person I found, isn't the same as the one you referred to! Thank you x

    • @Snickerdoods.x
      @Snickerdoods.x 6 лет назад

      Rachel Phelps I think it’s just a blog and not a RUclips channel.

    • @Roosaliey
      @Roosaliey 6 лет назад

      www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hunger-artist I think it is this one!

  • @lucyrusson526
    @lucyrusson526 6 лет назад +1

    You've put your Instagram as messy_recovery in the description lol

  • @charlotterobinson9158
    @charlotterobinson9158 6 лет назад +2

    The way you explained weight loss in general is pretty inaccurate. I recently made a conscious choice to lose weight. I needed it for my health. I was 21 and nearly 17stone. I haven’t changed my lifestyle to get below my body’s natural weight/size and not be able to maintain it. I do it to get to my bodies natural weight. I also have pcos and my weight could add to me being infertile. So me losing weight is just as important to my health as you gaining it. Hope this didn’t sound bitchy because I love your videos and I’m rooting for you, but I thought I would clarify that not all people on a diet want to be carb-free, raw or skinny in the end. I want to be healthy xx

    • @chloep4500
      @chloep4500 5 лет назад

      She said "many people", not that it applied to everyone

  • @annaburris9766
    @annaburris9766 6 лет назад

    Can you tag people's profiles in the description or on tour Instagram? I really want to know more people you follow but always forget their name when I go to look them up.

  • @rev.rachel
    @rev.rachel 3 года назад

    Oh my gosh the thing about trying to gain weight while everyone around you is trying to lose weight. It's like my biggest pet peeve. And it drives me nuts that people's response to me saying "I don't weigh enough yet" or "I have trouble eating enough" is constantly "gee, wouldn't that be nice." No. No, it isn't nice. It's a pain in the ass.

  • @purplestare58
    @purplestare58 6 лет назад +3

    I feel like instead of trying to diet you should do a lifestyle change. I’ve always known that as soon as you stop the diet to go back to what you ate before you slowly start gaining back the weight you lost in the first place. I find diets a wast of time because it puts a lot of restrictions on what you can and can’t eat along with what when you can and can’t eat it. Another thing is that I don’t get why society is fixated on their weight and appreciate to the point where if they know someone has an Edinburgh disorder they will still comment on how good the persons weight loss is. Society as a whole ticks me off at times. At the end of the day you do whatever makes you happy as long as it’s not hurting you or anyone around you.

  • @psychedlicsouljam1995
    @psychedlicsouljam1995 6 лет назад +1

    Recovering in a disordered society... ain't that the truth