What to Do When a Girl Flakes On You (+ Text Example)

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  • Опубликовано: 23 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 365

  • @ToddVDating
    @ToddVDating  Год назад +17

    For more on texting, as well as my complete online dating system, check out toddoda.com

    • @martininthematrix
      @martininthematrix Год назад

      If she were indeed lying, wouldn't you expect that, if you ended up in a relationship, she'd keep lying to you? As in: Red flag?

    • @anantachydrupamayam1718
      @anantachydrupamayam1718 Год назад +1

      @@martininthematrix With this king of girl it's clear it is just a one-night stand situation, but three texts really ?! Seems a little desperate to me, rather than entitled... It's just that for Todd it's a game and he wants to win at ALL COST EVERY TIME, I think it's a bit too much and a bit crazy, I mean who gives a fuck, if you f**ck one more or one less hot girt out there- it won't make you any happier man, have some self respect - double text whatever, entitled alright, triple text - I'd say go away you cr**zy moth******cker, there are more important things in life than sick hot girls out there ;D

    • @gunnargunn5473
      @gunnargunn5473 Год назад +1

      You lost a lot of my respect here, Todd

  • @RafaelGringo
    @RafaelGringo Год назад +135

    Normally, my pride would never allow me to double text, let alone triple text. But seeing you and how you handled the situation with such a finesse gave me a whole new perspective on the matter. I'm coming back to game after a long pause and I'm really glad you're still putting out amazing content. Thanks, Todd! You're the man!

    • @jfkst1
      @jfkst1 Год назад +21

      I like Todd, but I disagree with Todd on this. IME flakey people is an inherent character trait not a circumstantial issue. That goes for men and women.

    • @RafaelGringo
      @RafaelGringo Год назад +11

      @@jfkst1 It can be. But I don't think we can judge that when the person doesn't know you yet. After you meet in person if they still get flakey it's another story

    • @jfkst1
      @jfkst1 Год назад +5

      @@RafaelGringo
      I've noticed across genders and circumstances. I have plenty of close male friends that are simply flakey. Work, leisure, etc. Same thing with some women I've dated. Though I do find it much more prevalent with attractive women for the obvious reasons that it is less consequential for them.

    • @SqueamishPuppet
      @SqueamishPuppet Год назад +2

      @Jay Son I disagree. People have full lives that do not involve you. Things come up. Generally, you are told "never double text" but in dating, not just hooking up, you need to. All of this advice to me is pre first date. After that, assuming things went well she either will change or you drop her. But trust me, she will change if she likes you.

    • @jfkst1
      @jfkst1 Год назад +11

      @@SqueamishPuppet
      Outside of absolute emergencies that only happen a few times in a lifetime, all it takes is seconds to notify someone with smartphones. If I'm not worth a few seconds of your time, then I am not worth anything. And like I said this is consistent for men and women work leisure family friend etc. I work on call and have for years and I have NEVER left someone hanging on plans.

  • @moose7767
    @moose7767 9 месяцев назад +38

    “She cares enough to lie to me” 😂😂😂😂

  • @BonnieSetliff
    @BonnieSetliff Год назад +217

    Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

    • @DarylSimpson58
      @DarylSimpson58 Год назад +1

      there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

    • @BonnieSetliff
      @BonnieSetliff Год назад

      @@DarylSimpson58 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

    • @DarylSimpson58
      @DarylSimpson58 Год назад

      @@BonnieSetliff this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

    • @scottstewart8737
      @scottstewart8737 Год назад +2

      No such thing as a perfect relationship

    • @RandomGuy-ej9gr
      @RandomGuy-ej9gr 5 месяцев назад +1

      If she was seeing other dudes during the breakup period I wouldn’t take her back

  • @xristoskostoulas9841
    @xristoskostoulas9841 Год назад +39

    Man, in every video Todd says wiser and wiser things! Thank you for existing Todd

  • @firsthelix6726
    @firsthelix6726 10 месяцев назад +10

    Thanks, great comeback! Back in the days when online dating was a new thing, you still could get away with calling her out on the bad behavior she demonstrated. A good portion of women didn't shy away from a basic conflict like this then and would actually reply and apologize. Today, with the enormous attention they get from dating apps and on social media, girls just ghost you and think they have endless opportunities with someone who would put up with their shit. The masculine trait of indifference they acquired over time which makes ghosting a serious issue having normal communication leading to getting to know each other IRL. Those girls mostly will end up with guys demonstrating beta-male behavior putting up with all their shit out of fear of losing her, which is exactly the opposite of what they actually want to see in a masculine man. The sad truth is that communication in this day and age is degenerating, and so does our social life.

    • @Elementalism
      @Elementalism 9 месяцев назад +1

      I had a 44 year old two weeks ago that wanted to switch the venue, the time, then again the time all in a matter of 2 days. I told her to take a hike before the date and she was shocked. She has been single her entire life, never even asked to get married. I suspect she does this all the time, bulldozes the guys, they lose their backbone, and over time she loses respect for them and moves on. Rinse and repeat.

  • @porteauloin
    @porteauloin Год назад +26

    That girl have no idea how much effort it took to make that date happen. :D

    • @JoshStinson011
      @JoshStinson011 4 месяца назад +3

      It’s more so patience than effort. But I see your point.

    • @drmahidhar1876
      @drmahidhar1876 2 месяца назад

      @@JoshStinson011 so true - most people (including myself ) don’t understand how much patience and self control is a part of the process as much (maybe more so) than the slick mouthpiece

  • @mattrR678
    @mattrR678 Год назад +189

    I like Todd but I disagree with him here. When a girl ghost me, I delete the number and don't pay her a second thought. It is a huge red flag. This is the girls first impression, when tries to impress you the most and she ghosts. It speaks of her character.

    • @MVProfits
      @MVProfits Год назад +47

      Nah, I agree with him that at this stage, you are just a random dude to her. If you have met before, if she knows you already even it's a first date, or if it's a second date, then he'd be a huge red flag. At this stage? Nope. Do whatever you feel like doing. I'm in sales and even super interested clients never call me back, are hard to reach... yet want in and eventually buy. People are busy, have lives, and in this case girls are hesitant for 1st dates. What Todd shows is to help close some of those deals. If sending these texts feel beneath you, well, it is what it is.

    • @evelic
      @evelic Год назад +4

      If You have they options, i agree with you. If You don't, I agree with Todd

    • @marianostarosiliz
      @marianostarosiliz Год назад +8

      Girls shit test you always. If you delete/block or whatever you are communicating something. If you got flaked, just do nothing. If she liked you, she will follow up.

    • @danielsoria6367
      @danielsoria6367 Год назад +1

      @@MVProfits ju

    • @feignit
      @feignit Год назад +13

      @@marianostarosiliz Flaking is considered a shit test now? yikes, not worth it.

  • @ModernDatingMastery
    @ModernDatingMastery 13 дней назад +1

    *Keeping your cool and showing you’ve got other things going on is such a power move. Women notice when you don’t make a big deal of it - it says you’re confident, busy, and not dependent on anyone’s plans!*

  • @SqueamishPuppet
    @SqueamishPuppet Год назад +15

    This video is amazing! So many guys need this. I was the low value guy calling her out. Once I learned to act and think high value, my self-esteem was raised to someone of higher value, making things much easier. One thing I felt was left out is that once the date is set, say 2-4 days away, do not send texts until that follow-up text. Most women do not want to hear from you between that time. If she texts you between that time, then it is okay to respond.

    • @prashunpcchakraborty70
      @prashunpcchakraborty70 Год назад

      A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows need to exert more self control. Can you help me out of this mindset?

    • @SqueamishPuppet
      @SqueamishPuppet Год назад +5

      @Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty its okay for it to hurt a bit. You are human, but first, you need to do the inner work to be completely whole on your own. Know yourself completely and be able to "fill your own cup." At that point, you should have some pretty good self-confidence to handle rejection and to have an abundance mindset. You may need to fake abundance at first/ knowing there are other girls out there just like her. Abundance will come from a bit of practice. You don't need 10 girls to feel abundance. You only need 1 or 2. For me, talking to more than 2 or 3 girls at a time was exhausting, and it was hard to keep track of who I had told what.

    • @prashunpcchakraborty70
      @prashunpcchakraborty70 Год назад +3

      @@SqueamishPuppet Yeah as over the years my skills have gotten better abundance is averagish for me but you know if a girl cancels on you even the most abundant guy can't really call a backup for a backup date right? Everyone has a schedule.

    • @SqueamishPuppet
      @SqueamishPuppet Год назад +3

      @Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty I did that once! Haha it ended up working out well. I asked a girl last minute to a concert that I had tickets to but was planning on taking another girl to.

    • @prashunpcchakraborty70
      @prashunpcchakraborty70 Год назад

      @@SqueamishPuppet Nice! If only cancelled drinks were so easily replaceable :(

  • @EarthtoAdam95
    @EarthtoAdam95 Год назад +32

    If a girl likes you and wants to see you, she will.
    If she’s not into you, a follow up text won’t do anything but make her run away from you even more.
    If she doesn’t respond or doesn’t turn up for the date (assuming you planned a specific day/time/location etc) just let her go, pursue people who put in effort and enthusiasm to see you.

    • @gregorymagarshak7953
      @gregorymagarshak7953 2 месяца назад

      This video disproves that

    • @EarthtoAdam95
      @EarthtoAdam95 2 месяца назад

      @@gregorymagarshak7953 sure, go pester girls with texts, see where that gets you 👍🏼

    • @youvelookedbetter
      @youvelookedbetter 18 дней назад

      @@gregorymagarshak7953 This video is one person and, honestly, the text Todd sent would turn me off. He claims he's not putting the blame on the girl, but it completely depends on how you interpret it. Text messages can be interpreted in many different ways, just like most forms of communication. His text reads as very sarcastic to me. I'm not sure why Todd says he's not putting the blame on her and he's just calling out that something "went awry" when it's obvious who ghosted who after a date was planned.
      Also, the "haha" at the beginning reads as him being annoyed to me, despite him thinking it shows he doesn't care because he's got other things going on. Obviously the girl is occupying some part of your mind, otherwise you wouldn't even text again.

  • @chr1staki
    @chr1staki Год назад +65

    For a flaky girl, once I drew a stick figure drawing of me and the girl out on a date, photographed it and sent it to her… actually worked 😂

    • @KlutzyBoss
      @KlutzyBoss Год назад +1

      And you guys lived happily ever after?

    • @prashunpcchakraborty70
      @prashunpcchakraborty70 Год назад +13

      @@KlutzyBoss she showed up, if he smashed that's a fairytale ending right there XD

    • @andrewjordan4811
      @andrewjordan4811 Год назад

      Did you attach any text message with the picture?

  • @paulsippil
    @paulsippil Год назад +115

    It's sad that flaking has become socially acceptable behavior. The mindset that a woman doesn't owe a man a response after they have already agreed to meet shows how much a man's time and worth have become devalued. Sure, he's handling it well, but it would be nice if more women didn't behave like this in the first place.

    • @prashunpcchakraborty70
      @prashunpcchakraborty70 Год назад +3

      I have the same mindset man A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows but we need to exert more self control for better results.

    • @thecarpentershow8507
      @thecarpentershow8507 Год назад

      If anything, devalue happens to the flaker. unstable, unreliable and unworthy of a mans time. It's a mans shit test.

    • @feignit
      @feignit Год назад +12

      I get the point Todd makes in the video and it's generally good advice but she is still wasting your time. No matter how he tries to spin it you got punked and you go back for more after being disrespected.

    • @WD00777
      @WD00777 Год назад +1

      I agree with you but the honest truth is that people who aren’t in relationships or have never even met aren’t really obligated. Again, I agree with everything you’ve said but that part is true.

    • @SuperSymbiote1
      @SuperSymbiote1 Год назад +1

      @@WD00777 They should be obligated in the context of agreeing to plans while you get ready for them.

  • @Cee_Eff
    @Cee_Eff Год назад +19

    Seems like a lot of work for next to nothing in return. What he Todd did is an example of going out on a high note...but still too much work for next to nothing in return.

    • @SqueamishPuppet
      @SqueamishPuppet Год назад

      What is he really out, though? A few texts?

    • @EarthtoAdam95
      @EarthtoAdam95 Год назад +4

      @@SqueamishPuppet the texts he presented are very rare to happen to most people.
      If a girl is 50/50 about you and you’re double texting or reacting to her negatively, all you’re doing is making it easy for her to blow you off. All it does it make you seem needy and unconfident.

    • @blacktortoise6812
      @blacktortoise6812 4 месяца назад

      Pretty sure it's just a challenge for him/teaching moment as a coach

  • @cameronmiller6240
    @cameronmiller6240 Год назад +31

    I actually disagree with the premise of the video. You didn’t have a date set up imo. Dates involve times and locations. We will meet up Thursday night is not a plan. Thursday 6pm polo lounge is a plan. I also wonder if he hadn’t sent the other two messages might she have responded anyway?

    • @EarthtoAdam95
      @EarthtoAdam95 Год назад +3

      Exactly. As long as you have a definite date planned with a time and place, there’s no need to contact them prior unless it’s letting them know you’re running late or letting them know where specifically to meet you.

    • @LedgerLiner
      @LedgerLiner Год назад +4

      Go talk to an actual girl bro

  • @zosi726
    @zosi726 Год назад +34

    How common are hospital visit flakes? I think I have had at least 3 of them

    • @asa3131
      @asa3131 Год назад +16

      are you dating geriatrics?

    • @zosi726
      @zosi726 Год назад +5

      @@asa3131 just yo mama

    • @jfkst1
      @jfkst1 Год назад +8

      I had a two year period where eight girls claimed to have a death in the family to justify flaking.

    • @MetallicReg
      @MetallicReg Год назад

      As long as you are not picking up dates at a hospital parking lot, those are just deflections.

    • @1bosstv
      @1bosstv Год назад +1

      ​@@jfkst1 Death in the family or sick relatives should be regarded as disinterest. Delete the number instantly.
      I don't save online numbers in my phone. Unless we've dated, smashed, and are consistent.

  • @amnestylost
    @amnestylost Год назад +12

    The "hotter the girl" the more likely she is to go silent? Dude, the super average ones go silent and flake on me if I ever get them to schedule a date(which was twice in two years). There is some serious average girl entitlement out there. And I'm a tall muscular guy who has walked runway as a male model(not famous and have almost never been paid, but still). These chicks only accept men HIGH above their looksmatch and if you arent super rich giga Chad, you get NONE. I live near Chicago, however. Where you live might be different.

    • @FrenchOG3
      @FrenchOG3 Год назад +4

      Hoeflation is real. Started seeing the shift summer 2022 - bang average 5s acting like 8s, on who I would have originally pulled same night lay.
      6ft 2 muscular guy as well. I have too much self-esteem to cater to the bs. I have checked out of the dating market.
      Was curious to see what Todd V had to say as he was a big influence on my game. Goes to show, one needs to constantly stoop lower to get that golden V. Once you are past the 100+ mark, cba with effort. Not worth it. Either it is simple or it is not.

    • @mod9mods
      @mod9mods Год назад

      Exactly. I was put in the same situation. She literally lovebombed me in a club and stuck her tongue down my throat & then bit me. Note I didn't even know her prior. Then she became the distant one, after several weeks. Girl was a solid 7, but far from a model specimen.

  • @guntertorfs6486
    @guntertorfs6486 Год назад +7

    One of the more unique qualities you have is having no fear to break the accepted mold on dating rules and really experiment. I'm sure it's one of the main reasons for your success.

  • @codederick6920
    @codederick6920 Год назад +49

    The Toddfather is America’s favorite bad boi

  • @Modifiedparts31
    @Modifiedparts31 Год назад +1

    Todd does a great job breaking these things down. I know the theoretical breakdown isn’t for everyone, but I love it.

  • @elmateo77
    @elmateo77 Год назад +9

    Most women don't flake because they're nervous, they do it because a better option came along. And if she's coming back to you it's because things didn't work out with the other guy. Try again if you want, but just be aware you were her second choice.

  • @Fred-zt5ky
    @Fred-zt5ky Год назад +9

    Interesting perspective, thanks for sharing. I personality believe that a high value man in a position of abundance wouldn’t double text, let alone triple text, as he would instead just schedule a date with another girl at the same time. If the girl is interested she’ll get back to you and then it’s up to you if you wanna give her a second chance or ghost her.

    • @ShayPatrickCormacTHEHUNTER
      @ShayPatrickCormacTHEHUNTER Год назад +3

      Not if you have a particular interest. Its not like every person is a carbon copy and literally replacable.

    • @TheMatrixofMeaning
      @TheMatrixofMeaning 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@ShayPatrickCormacTHEHUNTER Exactly 💯
      I have options, but clearly those options don't have my attention or trust enough to be focusing on them at the moment. Probably did something or showed Ted flags.
      I only ever pursue women who show high interest, or we know each other, have mutual friends, or run into each other often, and it's clear that she's not just being nice or fishing for attention.
      But once a woman I find attractive has met the requirements, and we've set a date, or maybe already had a good first or second date, I have become curious and genuinely want to get to know more about her. She's no longer a stranger, I am interested in this specific woman for whatever specific qualities and compatibilities she's displayed so far.
      And that's why having options doesn't make it any better when you get ghosted by someone you've dated for a few weeks or months.
      I don't do apps so it's almost never a blind date with a stranger.
      IDC how many women do it now, it's the same level of F'D up to ghost someone for no reason after setting a date and confirming right before.

  • @guitarthrasher81
    @guitarthrasher81 Год назад +15

    1. Haha. I usually never make
    plans just via text... thanks for
    reminding me why 🙃. If you'd
    like to do a quick phone call to
    see if the banter is good, Imk.
    We probably should have done
    that in the first place 😂
    2. It's okay, I wasn't actually
    inconvenienced much, just
    confused. But (whatever excuse she had show empathy)

  • @cepsitv
    @cepsitv 11 месяцев назад +3

    Game is very dificult if she doesnt has genuine desire

    • @SPACEDOUT19
      @SPACEDOUT19 20 дней назад

      ...and if she has genuine desire, "game" doesnt matter, cause she just likes you

  • @Drift-Tastik
    @Drift-Tastik Год назад +10

    Problem is. This happens often. A lot.

  • @marianostarosiliz
    @marianostarosiliz Год назад +9

    This is terrible advice. Never, ever text a girl that flaked you. Its a HUGE shit test or she doesn’t like you like that. Either way its best to just mirror her and go silent. Dont delete/block cause its a bit childish. She will follow up if shes interested.

  • @codederick6920
    @codederick6920 Год назад +9

    Wish Todd would make a vid on converting pulls to lays. Always been a sticking point for me

    • @dvs87
      @dvs87 Год назад +2

      that was a HUGE sticking point to me but it became very easy when I learned how to sexualize conversations online or in person... start with very subtle jokes and increase to more direct jokes depending on the reaction.

  • @joewauters9065
    @joewauters9065 Год назад +2

    Love Todd's mature and rational approach to dating and relationships. One of the best role models for modern masculinity?

  • @Champ1988
    @Champ1988 Год назад +2

    This situation definitely called for follow-up. Based on their text exchange, he never specified a definite time. When she mentioned, "I should be free by evening," he took it as confirmation. That's precisely where he went wrong. A better follow-up would have been, "Great! How does 8pm sound?" Providing something concrete that she could unequivocally agree to. Saying "Thursday sounds promising" doesn't establish a clear date.

  • @americanexpat8792
    @americanexpat8792 Год назад +2

    That’s exactly how you should handle it. In her case, it was probably more likely than not. But, it doesn’t matter. She’s human like the rest of us and until you establish some rapport with a person, she’s nervous. Like Todd said, if you handle it like a pro, you actually gain points - and advance the situation over and above where you were originally.

  • @damienbates
    @damienbates Месяц назад

    Great perspective on ghosting and responding well. Men who don’t have a lot of experience with women aren’t familiar with all the insecurities and emotions women have every day. Once you’ve had some long term relationships with women you’ll realize even the good ones can be pretty crazy. The shut that goes through their minds can seem surreal to most men.

  • @stevestruthers6180
    @stevestruthers6180 2 месяца назад +1

    If a woman flakes on me, I walk away. Her loss, and she has shown her true colours. She's not worth further effort, and I just dodged a bullet. I just keep moving on. I will not tolerate disrespect, abuse or shit tests.

  • @tobisteffen
    @tobisteffen Год назад +28

    How can anybody still be interested in someone who is that disrespectful?

    • @SqueamishPuppet
      @SqueamishPuppet Год назад +3

      You are nobody to her at this point!

    • @tobisteffen
      @tobisteffen Год назад +9

      @@SqueamishPuppet That’s the problem.

    • @prashunpcchakraborty70
      @prashunpcchakraborty70 Год назад +1

      I have the same mindset- A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows but we need to exert more self control to get more lays.

    • @SqueamishPuppet
      @SqueamishPuppet Год назад +1

      @@tobisteffen what do you mean that's the problem. She shouldn't be shit to you either at this point.

    • @SqueamishPuppet
      @SqueamishPuppet Год назад +1

      @Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty this behavior should only be exeptable on a first meet, which you shouldn't have much set aside for that. Something with no time constraints like drinks or coffee. Another thing that minimizes flaking is to not set up dates on Friday or Saturday nights. That's when they are more likely hanging out with friends/ ditch you for their friends.

  • @bobiadan
    @bobiadan Год назад

    man! you are truly giving value through this video. those are not just simple commercials for your program

  • @anantachydrupamayam1718
    @anantachydrupamayam1718 Год назад +37

    The third msg is a HUGE overkill, a direct contradiction to abundance - a guy with abundance mentality would NEVER bother to send that third text and why should he, given that he knows he has many options on the same level and even more so, if he's is already dating regularly different girls...

    • @mattrR678
      @mattrR678 Год назад +16

      Excalty, men should always pursue multiple women at the same time. When one ghosts, delete her number and move on.

    • @thrillridediaries
      @thrillridediaries Год назад +10

      I agree with you. After setting up a date, i'll usually let the girl send the follow up confirmation prior to the date. This shows me shes actually anticipating the date and the chance of flaking is extremely low. If there's a date at 8 and by 7 there's no contact, those are the times I've most often experienced a flake, even if i send a follow up message. If she truly wants to see you, she will make the effort

    • @masamangtao6417
      @masamangtao6417 Год назад +2

      Well, Todd sent the 3rd message and ended up in a decent position, likely still getting a date with the girl. If he didn't send the message, the lead would've been gone. So, I guess it's up to you to decide which outcome you prefer.

    • @anantachydrupamayam1718
      @anantachydrupamayam1718 Год назад +8

      @@masamangtao6417 This is not the point man- she didn't deserve a third text and if I'm a guy with an abundance mentality, with high self esteem and many options, regularly dating different girls, I couldn't care less about getting a date with this particular flaky girl or not - this is in direct contradiction to being an abundant guy with high self respect, many options and clear boundaries and there is no way around this! Why pushing that hard for possibly a sick, crazy girl, if you really believe in yourself and you know that you have many other options, just think about it ;) ... Lastly, I can tell you that with this kind of girl even after a reply of the third text etc... she can even confirm 10 mins before the date and still flake and just leave you there waiting and not answering her phone after that - you have no idea how crazy girls and people in general could be, if you believe that it is worth pushing that kind of girl with this huge red flag after the 2nd text, the reply after the 3rd text means really nothing in the real world...

    • @jakedutton5424
      @jakedutton5424 Год назад

      ​@anantachydrupamayam1718 the whole point of this video was about talking to the 'one', in which case its normal to persuade them an extra message.

  • @mjrkidsvids7899
    @mjrkidsvids7899 9 месяцев назад +3

    There is no busier person then an uninterested one

  • @starwalk3r
    @starwalk3r Год назад +9

    Thanks for the great advice on the texting and on how to act/how to function as a high value man emotionally.

  • @ZeeeGamer
    @ZeeeGamer 5 месяцев назад +1

    Most of the reasons why girls ghost you is because they found another date first and you were the second option.
    But just because you were the second option, it doesn't mean you're the one with the least value.
    Because on the date you get to show the girl that " your date was a better experience than her previous one. In the end it's all about the experience and the quality of interaction you have with the girl at all times. Whether it be text or actual talking or date. You don't have to be a high value person to understand this. The value comes with the time spent with a woman.

  • @atommy4625
    @atommy4625 Год назад +9

    If i get ghosted and we're not seriously dating, I just move on. Not going to double text, not going to call her out or stalk her social media. Heck, not even going to block her. Next option up. In my past experience, the ghoster has hit me up weeks or months down the road like 80-90% of the time with a variant of "Hey Stranger" or they remember my birthday. At that point I may or may not engage her depending on what I have going on with my current rotation. But hey, not knocking this technique if it works for you

    • @easylife6348
      @easylife6348 Год назад

      Women who flake is actually doing this to see what your attitude is like, if you never respond after they flaked on you, they’ll wait for months because you basically passed the shit test but in a different and longer process than Todd v, because for months of you not responding to them they see that you forgot all about them after that they flaked on you and they want you to set up the date all over again.
      In my opinion i like Todd strategy better because it forces the woman to hold herself accountable without you actually calling her out on her bs. These women know what they’re doing but there’s no need to call her out on anything unless you already place boundaries on her in the relationship and she ended up mistakenly or purposely broke that boundary.

    • @1bosstv
      @1bosstv 8 месяцев назад

      Flaking isn't some shit test. It's a show of disinterest. You're gonna wait till 2027 for her to come back around? I've already moved on!

  • @Master__P
    @Master__P Год назад +13

    I agree totally with the messaging part ("not reacting butthurt") and that you want to maintain the chances for yourself, but really you have 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 and 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 to see her as a lesser woman without showing that immediately. Because her behavior IS rude. And you don't have to say that immediately and will see later, if her story was bullshit oder not

    • @SqueamishPuppet
      @SqueamishPuppet Год назад +1

      Regardless of the reason she flaked whether she was nervous and made up an excuse or legitimately had an emergency, or maybe your initial interaction wasn't strong enough. Not acting butt hurt will set you WAY apart from the guys she's talking to and give you massive value. The average guy or girl isn't this emotionally intelligent.

    • @ma2000
      @ma2000 Год назад

      I agree, no reason to be butt hurt but clearly she is a lower quality woman, and yes her flaking and lame excuses are the reason to see her in that light. And frankly, she does it bc we as men excuse women from being accountable, simply bc we want p*ssy too much.

    • @1bosstv
      @1bosstv 8 месяцев назад

      Don't buy that nervous or cold feet excuse. A woman getting graped is lightning strike odds like you getting a second date. Not acting butthurt may be good, but what if Tyrone hit her up? Yeah, block her.

  • @mdhazeldine
    @mdhazeldine Год назад +24

    Ugh. I don't know where to start with this one. "this is not a huge character flaw that she flaked" um. Sorry, but yes it is. Doesn't matter how common it is these days, if she's doing it now, she's not going to dramatically change later. People who don't have (un)common decency aren't suddenly going to become decent once they're in a relationship with you. "she cares enough to lie to me "...oh my God. How deluded! Let's be clear, there's nothing high value about a woman who flakes and ghosts. I agree with Todd on his advice to not get whiny and try to blame them, but why would you bother to try and rescue a situation like this? She either doesn't like you or she's got issues, so no point trying to flog a dead horse. If it was a genuine thing that came up, and she genuinely likes you more than an ounce, she'd feel awful, be apologetic and try to rearrange.

    • @amnestylost
      @amnestylost Год назад +2

      I kind of agree with you, bro.

    • @yuhmuhfuhkuh
      @yuhmuhfuhkuh Год назад

      …but she did feel awful, was immensely apologetic, and did seem open to rearranging

    • @mdhazeldine
      @mdhazeldine Год назад +2

      @@yuhmuhfuhkuh This particular case might be genuine. Hard to know. I was more disagreeing with the things Tom said was saying in general than saying this girl specifically was a liar.

    • @FrenchOG3
      @FrenchOG3 Год назад

      @@yuhmuhfuhkuh words are cheap - when it comes to girls especially actions matter.

    • @raygover7458
      @raygover7458 Год назад +6

      If it was a genuine thing that came up, she should have texted from the hospital explaining that she had an emergency and couldn't make the date. It takes 30 seconds to send that text. It's a matter of courtesy and effort.

  • @tag_76
    @tag_76 4 месяца назад +1

    If she flakes or ghosts you, have some dignity and DO NOT reach out to her, you'll look desperate if you do. Leave her behind with no communications and move on and never respond if she reaches out in the future.

  • @eppsislike
    @eppsislike Год назад +3

    Plans? Where's the time and location? This is not a definite date.

  • @Salad360
    @Salad360 11 месяцев назад +2

    As a twenty-something, I feel like other twenty-somethings would find it very annoying or even unnerving if I called them. They'd probably be asking themselves if I'm actually in my 40's.

  • @jfkst1
    @jfkst1 Год назад +11

    @3:17
    In the many dozens of times I've tried this, it has NEVER worked. If I have ever double texted the girl is simply not interested. IME double texting at best gets a response back to why they flaked and never gets them out on the date. And yes I do it well before the actual planned date.

    • @kehbab
      @kehbab Год назад

      Here he didnt really make plans except for a part of a day (thursday evening)
      He doesnt know where to meet or what they are going to do something active or casual
      Where she lives or works to pick her up
      Would you just take the L and not even send a text that morning saying "we still on for today? "

    • @jfkst1
      @jfkst1 Год назад +1

      @@kehbab
      I always make definitive plans. My follow up is similar to Todd's 2nd message too. I'll try a similar 3rd but to me it does come across as desperate.

  • @lucani4428
    @lucani4428 10 месяцев назад

    Hi Todd,
    I've met this girl through work connections. She lives in a different city, she travels for work. We hang out 1 time last year and then again later in the year . texting picked up after meeting again. Mentioned I might have been in her city at the beginning of the year and she told me to let her now when. We planned on catching up for an hour or so to go to an exhibition. I booked flight and accommodation and 1 week prior she cancelled stating she wouldn't have been in that city that weekend. She offered to refund me the exhibition ticket, which I have accepted. I didn't ask for explanation just said I was sorry to hear that. not sure what happened

  • @timreeves8937
    @timreeves8937 6 месяцев назад

    This is great advice. I am pretty good at texting and if you get blown off or she flakes, especially when she does not know you well, it can be a test. She wants to see if your rear end is hurt or freak on her. My response now is actually to ignore the flake. I dont write back, call her out, really do not text back. Believe it or not after a day or two the girl writes back just like she did here with some version of sorry! My day was sooo busy! Cat died! Dog died! Half family died! LOL
    I agree never call it out. It is BS, she just was not feeling it probably or got nervous or it was a test (that you just passed). Then I just say that is fine make a joke you actually met the president, famous person or something happened great she missed. She will laugh. Then you make new plans and can kid "you will show up right?" And she will.
    When I was young I did get hurt and called them out. Yeah, I did not want to see them after and it is rude, but it is low value. Better to act like nothing happened and presume it is a test. If she does not text back after silence..you kind of have your answer just like with a cool text anyway. It is a permanent flake and you move on. Dont call her out, just ignore it and unmatch.

  • @dear.aprisa
    @dear.aprisa 11 месяцев назад +1

    A girl here. Might forget, miss the text, think I responded, but usually also not like the guy enough. A reminder or call definitely increases the possibility to meet in my case. But more than one reminder feels pushy. The Haha message here btw is a huge turn off for me.

  • @jefflebowski4287
    @jefflebowski4287 Год назад +3

    The FaceTime tip is clutch

  • @MVProfits
    @MVProfits Год назад +2

    Yep, we learn to be cool, calm, not blame her while not blaming ourselves either, believe their stories at face value, give her an easy way out, all to get you know what ha ha. No wonder gals are addicted to the flirt period. So many guys act immediately butthurt and all pissy about it, we stand out. Using emoticons here is the key as texts can be interpreted many ways. You did make me realize that the way she behaves at that point is not an indication of how she will act later on, even if we don't think highly of that behavior. They really have more emergencies that normal people have LOL

  • @MJC-GSXS750
    @MJC-GSXS750 9 месяцев назад +1

    I got that same accuse before, and it was the second time she flaked on me. Both dates were set up thru text. Once she met me and got to know me, she never flaked again lol. I honestly think it could be a test, to find out if you’re needy or not? Which you passed with flying colours lol. Just found your content today and gotta say, I’m very impressed with your coaching. I’ve leaned a lot in just a few hours, so thank you 🙏

  • @caseyfixterfixter4447
    @caseyfixterfixter4447 Год назад +4

    11:00 I remember once I invited a girl out and she told me she was in hull picking up a puppy for her Nan. But she had left her Snapchat maps on what was saying she was still in town 🤣

    • @prashunpcchakraborty70
      @prashunpcchakraborty70 Год назад +3

      The BS excuses women come up with XD

    • @jbh5294
      @jbh5294 9 месяцев назад

      lets hope it was an XL bully pup 😂 how is her nan ?

  • @RandomGuy-ej9gr
    @RandomGuy-ej9gr 5 месяцев назад +1

    OR and that’s more likely to happen like 80% of the time…she’s just not interested. So you really should tread carefully as if her interest is so low she can’t be arsed to reply then maybe she’s not the one.

  • @finallyanime
    @finallyanime 11 месяцев назад +1

    Very very cool, be sure to catch up on some rest looks like you been working so hard :)

  • @CodyGreen-j9x
    @CodyGreen-j9x Год назад +5

    10:35 Idk, I've been doing pretty well with women as just viewing them as employees. If an interviewee skipped an interview I wouldn't get butt-hurt about it, and women do have most of the attributes of an employee when you think about it, when your money runs out, so do they.
    If you view women simply as employees, and realize they view you as resources providers, which is basically an employer, then you'll better understand the dynamic that THEY behave within.
    They will lie and say the opposite is true, their BEHAVIOUR tells the Truth tho.

  • @eirinikos
    @eirinikos Год назад +2

    I'm honestly so tired of chasing after these trash, ambivalent, horrible creatures. They treat people like complete trash then complain that they can't find anyone. No thanks.

  • @kehbab
    @kehbab Год назад +6

    8:06
    To me 8/10 times
    This message will be received as you outing her for ghosting
    I would never consider saying
    "Thanks for reminding me why"
    It.. Seems a little passive agressive butthurt
    Maybe its the language barrier maybe im an uncalobrated beach "🙃"

  • @wulfclaw4921
    @wulfclaw4921 6 месяцев назад

    She apologized ?
    It's a miracle !!

  • @bat8675
    @bat8675 9 месяцев назад +2

    This man is a Jedi master…🤯

  • @masamangtao6417
    @masamangtao6417 Год назад +1

    Love this video. Great advice on how to be an empathetic (and high value) human being who lives in the real world. Also, Todd, when is Week 2 of ODA dropping? I'm ready to gooo!

  • @waneframe
    @waneframe 7 месяцев назад

    I know you said she might not be flaky as a girlfriend but that's like saying if a guy shows up to a date looking like a slob that doesn't mean he's going to be a slob as a boyfriend. If You're just getting to know someone and they behave a certain way why wouldn't you take the seriously into consideration?

  • @tiorimas
    @tiorimas 9 месяцев назад +1

    Accountability is a woman's kryptonite. Navigate the muddy waters of dating the best way you can, gentlemen; and focus on having extra options so you don't put too many steaks on the same grill.

  • @1bosstv
    @1bosstv 8 месяцев назад

    If a flake calls back after the date provided you didn't block her number, make her come over. Or have her send you her address. No date until sex happens. If she balks at that, then block her.

  • @ambern.9887
    @ambern.9887 8 месяцев назад

    I genuinely just don't think about texting people unless I felt like we're really connected. It's strange for men to expect me to be completely into them right from the get-go that makes no sense.

  • @ZuroPL
    @ZuroPL Год назад +5

    Poland is present 🇮🇩

  • @TheSkaters1631
    @TheSkaters1631 7 месяцев назад

    Heres the best way to text a woman. Text her back 1-2 texts and when you ask her a question, wait literally forever for her to answer it. If she cant answer a simple question, shes not interested.

  • @callowayman
    @callowayman 8 месяцев назад

    Have an abundance mindset. Have options. Double book if you have to. Consider the date a job interview to be your gf. No show, no job offer and NO chance to reschedule.

  • @chrisw7347
    @chrisw7347 3 месяца назад

    Do you call or facetime her spontaneously or do you schedule it? How long should this call be?

  • @saras.2173
    @saras.2173 5 месяцев назад

    You never had firm plans because you never had a place and time. How can she show up if you didn’t tell her where she’s going?

  • @kevwhite9499
    @kevwhite9499 Год назад

    Legendary video Todd 👊

  • @jogon9649
    @jogon9649 Год назад

    The mistake was not confirming where and when! It leaves too much ambiguity and signals uninterest, plus she sees that your just using her as an option or back up

  • @1bosstv
    @1bosstv Год назад +6

    Tell her it won't work out, and send her a pic with you and another girl. This is why the 1 strike rule is key. FAIAP Female excuses are disinterest 255/256 times.

  • @ma2000
    @ma2000 Год назад +2

    All this may work an all, but are you really ending up with a girl who TRULY wants to go on a date with you? If you are not her first and enthusiastic choice, why even bother. You know she didn't forget, she didn't have an emergency, she is just spoiled and irresponsible. Why even waste your time with a woman like that?

  • @LlamaOates
    @LlamaOates Год назад

    The first high value girl i started dating seriously after my separation flaked/postponed on me on a date she organised and I lost my shit because I value my time.
    My ego come straight into play and gave her a serving about integrity and other invites from friends I had socially but turned away coz she invited me out to spend time with each other.
    It wasnt my first dumb arse mistake and yep shes gone now.. and on on i watch and grow from Todd

  • @rcinematic
    @rcinematic 9 месяцев назад

    Recently met someone in person and clicked right away, she offered getting me food during break, and we had quite a nice adventure that day. We exchanged numbers and exchanged work schedules days after via text. Was trying to set up a date . I’m pretty busy all week and every other weekend. She also works all week but she did say she’ll hit me up during my days off. I haven’t texted her all week, I’m not waiting but I am waiting for her text telling me she’s free, but she did like a recent post I made. I haven’t talked to a fling via voice call, texts were enough in recent meetings ups, but they were with girls I knew. I guess I should text or call this new girl to set things up? Or just keep waiting, and get to know her better if or when we see each other?

  • @checkurhead_3472
    @checkurhead_3472 Год назад +1

    Dating was soo much easier before texting.

    • @VicInNocal
      @VicInNocal Год назад +2

      COMMUNICATION in general was better before texting, and people should go back to that, to actual phone CALLS. I understand that texting has some conveniences, but so does hitting the drive thru at McDonalds, it doesnt mean it's good for you.

  • @marcusgarcia4919
    @marcusgarcia4919 Год назад

    Great video! My sticking point is calling a girl out . Yes they are full of shit a lot of time. I stop calling calling girls out and acting like it’s no big deal . Yet, when. Do something slightly similar like not text back for a few hrs and she get upset I call her on the double standard. How can I better deal with constant double standards in women . Thank you for your videos .

  • @garnachas108
    @garnachas108 Год назад +3

    Crap! I got this video late. Should have done this a few weeks ago. At least i know better now.

  • @seedo201
    @seedo201 Год назад

    This video saved my crisis haha. I acted a bit angry and I know I am wrong because she was hesitant and need more trust

  • @cuchullain27
    @cuchullain27 Год назад

    Who would have thought that rational analysis of Game could lead to psychological depths 19th century writers would have been proud of.

  • @Acid22X
    @Acid22X Год назад

    Just in time. Met a girl on thursday in the club, it was really random two girls just started dancing beside me and one was more curious. We danced and kissed and she asked for my ig. Send her a text after and got a reply in a few hours, said we can do this again as she lives an hour from my town. The replies got longer and since yesterday I still got no reply no message. She has 10k followers( I have 339 lol) she follows 50 people including me. What do I do? My only idea is to text a follow up this week as i usually party thursdays-sat. Something like „im goin out tonight, if you wanna join me, let me know” any ideas guys?

  • @debbest8546
    @debbest8546 7 месяцев назад +1

    It's easier to ask "lose interest"?

  • @raddadization
    @raddadization Год назад

    had a girl try to confirm 30 minutes before the date after keeping me waiting all day. I think she's still there waiting

  • @danaycomedy
    @danaycomedy Год назад

    Can you make a video about how to get the girl to reply after getting their numbers from daygame cold approach. First text examples and how to proceed it forward.

  • @adamkuc9440
    @adamkuc9440 6 месяцев назад

    we all know deep down somewhere that if a girl does not respond to a text message its not going well and she just doesn't want to respond. we just hate that idea :D

  • @EvaSlash
    @EvaSlash Год назад

    I'm a guy and I matched with an amazing woman on tinder. We texted for a week and I asked her out but she wasn't readily available next few weekends so she suggested a video chat if I would like which I didn't pursue. I said I was hoping we could first meet at a cafe. Once she found out I was 21 miles away living in NJ and she lived in NY she stopped responding and unmatched me 6 months later after I followed up with her. Did I fuk up by not doing a video chat? I want to match her again. No one will ever be as good as her I can't stop thinking about her. I don't even feel like swiping anymore because I keep thinking about her

    • @taelor56
      @taelor56 9 месяцев назад +1

      Move on. She has

  • @3percentmen
    @3percentmen 4 месяца назад

    Todd, what would you have said if you had done the phone call and she still no call/no show-ed?

  • @daniellaughlin5872
    @daniellaughlin5872 10 месяцев назад

    Let's hear some opinions in this chat. How about this? What if she flakes and doesn't call to apologize or even say she isn't going to show? You were stood up. Would u even think for a moment that she would be girfriend material and that she should be given a 2nd chance? Or, would it be best to ignore her and move on?

  • @pbthirteen
    @pbthirteen 8 месяцев назад

    Curious to hear how this relationship turned out. Does she know what you do and is she cool with you using this convo on web??

  • @siroccowind736
    @siroccowind736 10 месяцев назад

    Usually some other guy hit on them and they switched plans to meet him instead. Women are overwhelmed with online dating, too many choices and they don't handle that well.

    • @1bosstv
      @1bosstv 8 месяцев назад

      Tyrone hit her up. Or John offered to bring her to Nobu.

    • @raven2770
      @raven2770 Месяц назад

      ​@@1bosstvTyrone got flaked too if another Tyroner texted her

  • @adamkuc9440
    @adamkuc9440 6 месяцев назад

    Tod, what do you think about a situation when a girl just doesn't accept or confirm the meeting - so you go silent. for a few days. then - you just text her again, like it never happened. doesn't it show non neediness in the best way? I am talking about day game girls only.

  • @adammitry6011
    @adammitry6011 10 месяцев назад

    Dunno about this...calling out rude behavior establishes boundaries. Had a girl flake on me bc I" didnt call beforehand" when there was a solid time and date set..2 days prior..I told her exactly how I felt and yes she bolted..I did call shortly before but no response. I thought, yes I dodged a control freak & narcissist.

  • @luissalinas4184
    @luissalinas4184 Год назад +1

    Todd has great advice, but flakey chicks are a no go for long term.
    Maybe for 1 hookup 2dates and thats it.
    Not a rotation chick or situationship

  • @mrblack1348
    @mrblack1348 Год назад +9

    Funny how inflated the dating market has become, even seasoned veterans need to stoop lower then they would a couple of years ago to get the same results.

  • @ayans22
    @ayans22 Год назад +1

    How do you go about phone calling someone without sounding weird that you wanna call her?

    • @Stegosaurus12345
      @Stegosaurus12345 Год назад

      It is not weird to want to talk to someone you are interested in. It only comes off weird or needy if you put too much pressure on the situation.

  • @realview1490
    @realview1490 Год назад +2

    David Guetta is a dating coach 😂?

  • @jacko89d
    @jacko89d Год назад

    For first time date it's understandable to text again, but usually you dodge a bullet if she flakes after 2 messages. Unless you're exceptionally attractive to her and she wants you as her boyfriend, she will definitely flake again. Flaky girls in general not just with guys have some kind of emotional problems and are too moody.
    Personally I have many other options to message I just skip. If you don't have "f u money" type options it would be logical to follow up the next day in a non needy way, which is why the video can be helpful for many.

  • @swedishlegko
    @swedishlegko Год назад

    10:15 best part of the video 😂😅 the Japanese sound effects 😅😂

  • @nickk7425
    @nickk7425 7 месяцев назад

    I kind of disagree with Todd about when a girl makes up a lie and flakes. If she does this, she is showing that she thinks she can just lie to you, and that is my problem with it, not so much that I didn't meet her, but that she thought she could lie, and female lies are disrespect in my opinion ..

  • @freddylimpster7137
    @freddylimpster7137 Год назад +2

    7.25: i have options and other shit to do in my everyday life. Yet i don't think no-call-no-show and outright ghosting are honorable actions. I don't find it funny in the slightest. Ghosting is a social disease and sometimes, not always, girls DO deserve to be put in their place and called out on it. IDC if i lose the girl. Standing up for myself and self-respect are waaaay higher in my values ranking than trying to "game" a girl just so i eventually get the date.