My mom actually did this to me because I was living a better life than her and she just broke me down and used me to the point of me attempting suicide so it's not only romantic relationships. I've always looked up to Mel. It can happen to anyone and so glad she is speaking about this.
Narcissists abuse anyone that’s closest to them in their life, whether it’s family, frenemies, co-workers, “romantic” partners, etc. Narcissists Are Abusers in many ways, to anyone they can use and control. Their main targets are those who love and care about them. Wishing you peace, healing, self-respect and self-compassion and happiness in life moving forward. 💗🌷🙏🌷💗 Wishing the same to us all as well! 💗🌷💗
@@christinebuckingham8369 thank you. It really sucks they do this and I don't get why, but yeah I've done a lot of work to move forward...still working on it. They really do a world of damage.
"She's crazy" seems to be their go-to line. Yeah, I was crazy for going round in circles with a person who had 0% good intent towards me. Stole money, lied, cheated, control, physical abuse, mental abuse. Every time i ended it... "But you're the love of my life," "I might as well end it without you in my life" "You think I want to lose this, you, us?" Absolutely thriving to broken beyond!!! But.... now finally, a year no contact later. Still healing & ready to thrive again x
Mel B you are a Goddess, thank you for sharing your story. I hope women all over the world hear it and have the courage to stand up and choose themselves ❤
Abuse is a rotation - it travels and from one tier to the next, one soul to the next and transfers in such a powerful way. Healing is the key to all of it.
Ahh you should have asked her how many women shes beaten up in her past... took me an hot second to find a news report only in 2016 where she talks about attacking shaznay lewis... actually she brags about it 🤦♀️ but thats okay because she a victim now. How can someone talking against domestic violence previously finding it funny when she trys to rip the weave of a fellow black woman off. Its actually insulting to me.
So sad to hear again and again that no matter what classes , culture, educations that women around the world suffering from domestic abuse . And most of the abusers are getting away unpunished . 😢😢😢
Gaslight is an amazing 1947 film, starring Ingrid Bergman. The young wife starts to doubt herself, she might be getting crazy. Not only the husband makes her believe she is detaching from reality and losing her memory, but also the maid is on it as well.❤
Oh no. You see it. You feel it. You just dont believe you can make it on your own. So you rather suffer because you think you are not good enough and you dont deserve better. But you are.
This conversation is SO overdue! This knowledge can save lives!! I survived an abusive marriage and just blocked an abusive man I started dating. He showed SO many of the signs. This crap can truly happen to anyone. Listen to your intuition and don't let the Abuser gaslight you out of it.
This session really resonates with me. I didn't have the fame, but I had the abusive relationship. It is taken years of therapy and peeling the onion to get back on my feet emotionally. I can totally relate to hiding the abuse from the people around you. My abuser kept me isolated. This happened back in the 80s, a very long time ago, we weren't talking about it as much as we do today. Thank you so much for your guest and thank you to the spice girl that who was willing to speak out.
I used Womens Aid myself and Mel is right - they will think of everything you need at a time when you can barely get out of bed. They saved me and my son and I will be forever grateful. Thanks to both for this interview, everyone should know that there is happiness on the other side of abuse, you CAN get out. xx
trust your womanly instinct ladies. Keep safe while dating, no matter the age, meaning: 1. Tell family and friends close to you where you are going, who you are with and his car rego. 2. Get yourself to the date and back yourself. 3. Don't unload all your trauma, negative experiences from family and friends and exes. They can use that against you. You are valuable and deserve to be treated well. You're saftey comes first Queens 👑
Fully understand. I finally had the courage and strength to leave my husband when my mum passed. Like you, I felt like all I was doing from then on was not me. It was like her spirit in her was doing it. Even paperwork which he hid from me would just fall in my lap from nowhere. It’s really unexplainable. One need to experience it to understand it. Good for you girl! ❤️
Just bought her book. She's a phenomenal woman whom I've always admired. Abuse comes in so many different ways. My family was my abuser, especially my mother and brother. I'm 50, been married for 29 years and I'm just discovering my career path because of the indoctrination that was drummed into me. My mother's favourite phrase was, "you'd be pretty, successful, happy etc if you'd just lose weight". I've battled with my weight my entire life and it's always been, I'll do x, y or z when I lose weight. My brother was the trifecta, mental, then physical and then sexual. He claims we've got split power of attorney with our grandfather, I haven't signed anything. So has he done it or am I even included? I met an old school friend and it took him and his brother a year to sort their mums power of attorney because of lockdown, my brother had my papas done in weeks during the plandemic. Once my grandfather passes I'll be severing all ties. The only reason I have any contact with him is because it would break my grandfathers heart
Excited for this!! Girl Power forever!❤✌🏻✨ Mel, you are amazing and could never know how loved you truly are, especially by those of us in the “Spice Girls generation.” Thank you for sharing your story - your wisdom is going to help a lot of people. Love always, from Canada 🇨🇦 P.S: You are STUNNING 🤩
I’ve been an npd victim. It’s sick. It’s been eight months and I’m still in this trauma bond. It’s heartbreaking in many ways. Hope to get the strength you have come to have now.
I experienced the atrocities Mel speaks of and was told the same that I'm strong... Still working on it... To me Mel is so much more: she is Wonder Woman!
I needed THIS today, in THIS moment. Thank you. And I’m sorry that you have had this journey in life and yet, I celebrate the freedom and recovery of joy you are beginning to reclaim. Bless, bless you both.
Thank you Mel B. THIS is what girl power looks like in action. I'm almost in tears because I have been abused and I know how ****wayyyyy long overdue**** this conversation is in our society. Mel B didn't need to do this. She could have just sat on her fame and her money and kept shtum. She took a big risk to her career in speaking out to help others, and I could not have more admiration and respect for her for doing that. I was a huge Spice Girls fan as a child, and this just feels weirdly cathartic and full circle.
Mel…..you literally described my marriage for countless years 😮 thanks for having the courage to share. I finally gained the courage myself to LEAVE!!!
She’s so on point, so eloquently spoken and correct. I appreciate her courage to share her story. I will definitely read her book. I have so much respect for her.
My ex sounds so similar to her ex. I got out after 5 years together…4 years later, I’m still working on my healing. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy 😢
This is so important that she speaks about it totally honest and doesn't protect the abuser anymore. She always was and still is a powerful, strong and beautiful women ✨️✨️✨️ I'm also a survivor of a physically and mentally abusive and manipulative marriage. It also took me 10 years to fully realize it and several attempts to finally leave. It's been 4 years since I've left and it was the best decision for my kids and myself.
As a falsely accused mother, I would ask that the opposite also be considered. I was completely on board with this until ‘the put child at risk by allowing the other parent access to the child’. This is how the legal system makes money all over the world.
Am so glad she's doing this , that list could have been written by me . And people don't get how a strong woman finds themselves in such a situation. But like she said abuse can happen to anyone . It happened to me 😢
So proud of you speaking out Mel! ‘But you’re a strong woman’ is the reply I have received also. I grew up a big fan of you and the rest of the group here in the uk. Nice to see you are spreading that girl power even today! I have had many abusive relationships. One 10yrs also. A women’s shelter saved me and my children’s lives. I have had therapy, nice home, studying at university and two of my children have left home now and succeeding in life. Life is peaceful now. I have been single 9yrs now and have experienced two healthy relationships over the years too (still didn’t work out due to the trauma I have suffered). I am convinced I will never be in another relationship again but fingers crossed that maybe I can trust another man one day but if not….i am at peace. Congrats on your endeavours and big hugs to you Mel x
I remember seeing her during this relationship she seemed like she was like a zombie I thought she was on drugs she looked like an empty shell so sad now she looks beautiful and she regained her spirit !
This was absolutley tremendous, Thank you so much Lisa and Mel, You're brave for sharing your story and helping many people, I have upmost Respect for you Mel, You can't force someone to be with someone, especially when you've figured them out and exposed them, No one should be gaslighted, manipulated, coerced or controlled, if they apologise and say they've changed, Don't believe them, It's just a manipulative tactic, Keep shining light and speaking and spreading truth, Peace, love, Respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God is great 💚🌲👽😊😇🐉❤😃🌈💜🕊💙🐎😘🦄💛💙
Rest in Peace to your Dad Mel,and thankyou for sharing your story!You are a brave,strong woman,and it's not your fault!..wishing you all the best on your healing path ♥️♥️
Sad that Mel B. had to suffer like that for all those years. I well recall reading about her abuser's prior history in some women's magazine or other back in the day when the two had first got together. Stunned to realize it took all those years before she got away from him. Better late than never! Kudos to her for helping others now that she's in a position to do so.
Everything Mel says about her narcissist ex is exactly what I experienced with mine. The initial lovebombing to get hooked to them. The connection between you and a narcissist feels like a dream come because they mirror you or camouflaged themselves into what you have told them you like in a partner. Once the lovebombimg stage is over, you are in eternal hell. They are such master manipulators. Leaving them is so hard because they don't want you to leave. They thrive on your suffering, confusion, social isolation, identity crisis. They make it their goal to break you into pieces. Honestly, we need movies on narcissism. Most people will fall prey to them, because they aren't movies about narcissism. Yeah they are many characters their are narcissist but tilling the movie narcissist would help tons of people and potentially save lots of lives
You are strong, you are a beautiful soul. Thanks Mel for sharing your story, it can happen to anyone. It happened to me, but I wasn't believed by certain people as I was seen as confident. I hope you have peace and a happy life now ❤
thank you MelB and Lisa for broadcasting this material - this i my story as well and it takes sometimes decades to heal. The biggest factor I have found from my own experience and that of other survivor Goddesses is that we had to do what was safest for our children and we understood it would take time and strategy to extract ourselves from the nightmare of living a hollow dangerous lie and calling it happy families, just to survive, self medicating etc. I was hiding cash under the rug for food for the children, there were lies deception, devastation. I ended up with complex pts with traumatic bereavement and i've now dedicated my life to helping others heal from trauma after healing myself. Thank you MelB for your candid bravery I grew up on girl power as a teen lots of love MelDJ
yes bessel van der kolk book the body holds the score - every time you talk of past trauma you body does indeed interpret that the trauma is happening now - this pushes our autonomic nervous system into dis regulation - you know you have healed trauma when you can separate your physiological responses from verbally recalling the event. I use natural healing arts therapy to help survivors shift trauma from the soma. the work of Gabor Mate is also excellent and the doco 'what is love' is brilliant.
What an inspiring story & so much love for being brave enough to teach others.. when you're famous & can have so much backlash, but you still sacrifice to help others.. such beautiful lady's ❤
Good for you, Mel! Your abusive Ex helped you to become the best version of yourself. Because of the abuse, you found your true calling in life. You are making a difference and using your celebrity status to generate change, even changing laws. You are changing the trajectory of your family DNA and the future of your children. Keep healing, keep educating your kids. Seeing you change from victim to Thriver is beautiful to watch. You are all about power and rewriting your story. I got out of an abusive marriage to a narcissist. It takes all you have. All the best to you beautiful soul. Your children are lucky to have you as their Mom! 🙏❤️🙏
This video is so needed. I can relate as I've been an abusive relationship with a narcissist for 15+ years. Up until last year, I didn't know I was even in an abusive relationship, and that was discovered during my first few sessions with a therapist. Now, I need to get out, but I am terrified to do so. 🙏🏽
God has help me heal from all that trauma I wasn’t physically abused but I was mentally, verbally, emotionally and financially.. the worst is when you share kids the last resource they use is trying to control and manipulate using the children
I noticed with the ex that he was always angry whenever I was watching powerful women programs like real housewives..... He was always mad. But whenever am down he would be there and presents himself as the helper. And I could now see that he was secretly happy for my down fall............
❤❤ This story so resonates!!! Im proud of you!! have a story 23 years of it! Thank for sharing. I left too!! I just lost a beautiful Friend that lost her life to assault by her bf. I'm not going to let her be forgotten!!
55:36 “my truth” is one of those trendy ideas that causes more harm than good. If everyone gets to say their own personal version of truth, then whose truth is most valid? It opens the door wide for gaslighting and manipulation.
Thank you for speaking about it. I wish as a younger girl I was educated about it at school. The abuse I suffered made me have PTSD symptoms, unfortunately it happens to too many women
This episode is so needed and so important! We're really not there yet with the system to provide the support necessary, especially courts are a nightmare! 😔
I really hope shes telling the truth because, the evidence he has stated his has sounds very credible and he's taking it to court. DV is such a serious subject to mock those who have been through it is incredulous to me why someone would do that. Time will time.
So happy that I ran into this interview. I used to live there I went to London studio centre and Pineapple studios. . So I love my SG. I'm in a DV shelter in Phoenix. He literally took over my life. I should of saw the red flags and I did try to leave him while I had my animals. But I left with two bags. He is with other women now. He had restraining orders on me the entire time and wouldn't ever allow me to have key. He had even family members gang up on me. It was so bad that even being here my story is so heavy. I sometimes dont believe how bad it really was.
Love it ❤ the opening images popped up of 'Mel' in her spice girls heyday are actually images of her daughter in a shoot she did last year.... wearing her moms clothes...
The abuse in almost all my relationships was mental and emotional. For the longest time I did not know it was abuse. I thought it was normal due to my upbringing. I couldn't see myself as a victim of abuse because I looked strong and was told I was strong. Now I know that the men I allowed into my life wanted to break that strength down until I was nothing but theirs to with as they pleased. When I thought I had met my prince charming, who turned out to be the worst of the worst, it was until then that I could finally see the pattern of abuse. He broke me and I kept going back for more. The insanity of it shook me to my core. I became quite ill and he still kept on leeching off of me. That was the straw that broke my back. I'm glad to know now that I'm healing and happy again. Never give up on yourself. You are worth it. ❤
Slightly insensitive to advertise expensive bedding, most victims of domestic abuse are victims of financial abuse and fighting for financial survival. Mel you ROCK! ❤
Absolutely!!! My knight in shining armour was a facade!!! He was somebody totally different behind closed doors... scary stuff!!! Mel, you helped me leave. Possibly saving my life & the lives of my children. My gratitude for your strength is beyond xxxxxxxxxxx
The term gaslighting comes from the movie Gaslight. I watched it and it does not disappoint. I think it's even free to watch on RUclips. Mel B - only love for you ❤
A senior social worker who knew me because my son is autistic ( she was a Children and Families SW) said to me when I finally admitted to the abuse said to me “ you don’t present as a victim.” In other words because I stood up for my son and ensured he got help she didn’t believe I could be abused. My ex was able to lie and manipulate people involved with my son and even people I worked with. I remember not being believed but I have most of all never forgotten that remark which was another slap in the face. Great to hear a strong powerful woman like Mel B showing abuse is not confined to certain people-you can be strong and opinionated and still be abused because you don’t actually realise it’s happening until the scales fall off your eyes
Thank you for this subject, it needs to even more out in the open. Women need to talk more about it, take action because men won't do it for us. So we need to fight, and stick to each other, back each other up, be there for one and another. Love ourselves, be happy with our body and the person we are, we are allowed to be here on beautiful Mother Earth. Buy ourselves flowers, if we want flower's in our house. We are worth it! And men need to see that. The younger generation needs to see that, they're in charge of their own lifes. Strength to everybody out there! You are amazing and lovely 🙏 ❤❤❤
An abuser will always abuse,amen,true words spoken,I Greet 100 percent my lovely ,wonderful Spice girl says Katya from Cuba who is struggling to break free from a very abusive relationship,thank you for the open talk,I needed thT❤😢
Statistically, it takes an abuse victim, 6-8 times to be able to leave their abusive partner. I learned that from a nurse in hospital when I was going through my horrific marriage. I've been out of that marriage over 4 years, I've had a year of therapy, but there's still days (like today) when I still feel the effects. CPTSD never goes away. I'm looking forward to this interview, I think I need it today. (I'm 4minutes in lol)
That's true. I was lucky to know a lot about the topic. They do know how to do it. I got out of an abusive relationship on time within a year. Reason he classified me as a rebel at end. He got frustrated because he didn't accomplish all he planned with me. I thank God, I didn't fall completely... Yet that affects you for years. No matter how well you heal and on yourself. You get nervous when anyone gets too close with you. I got over him just in a few months... pretty quick, but the effects take much longer for the body and mind to heal. Took me over 5 years to say that I'm finally ready to try to be in a relationship...a healthy one. I do know what it looks like. I have many examples of it around me... healthy relationships. Without a support system it's very difficult to get out. Having a good healthy self esteem helps to get out too. Thank you for sharing your story! This applies for men too, abusers can be women towards against men too. Men towards women also.
Hopefully, because he's been with a high profile woman he won't be as easily able to do it to other people. However, like most abusers, they will make out they are the victim and Mel is the crazy one...and women fall for it because the abusers seem to perfect that you just can't believe it at first. I had a relationship with someone who told me that he had 'strong sociopathic tendencies' (and he was a senior mental health professional) but I didn't believe it because he was so amazing to start with. I'm really wary of men because of previous abuse so I started to see the signs. It still took a while to get out though because the inconsistency makes it so hard to separate the abuser and the angel in the same person.
I’m so glad we are ‘Breaking the Silence’ on these abusers. ❤ Let’s gooooooooo!!!!
Law enforcement needs to catch up
My mom actually did this to me because I was living a better life than her and she just broke me down and used me to the point of me attempting suicide so it's not only romantic relationships. I've always looked up to Mel. It can happen to anyone and so glad she is speaking about this.
True. I had it from Everyone else one after the other after leaving the abuser
@@SB-ss5ih It sucks it makes us more susceptible but I hope you were able to find safety and safe people.
Narcissists abuse anyone that’s closest to them in their life, whether it’s family, frenemies, co-workers, “romantic” partners, etc. Narcissists Are Abusers in many ways, to anyone they can use and control. Their main targets are those who love and care about them. Wishing you peace, healing, self-respect and self-compassion and happiness in life moving forward. 💗🌷🙏🌷💗 Wishing the same to us all as well! 💗🌷💗
@@christinebuckingham8369 thank you. It really sucks they do this and I don't get why, but yeah I've done a lot of work to move forward...still working on it. They really do a world of damage.
My mother did this too. She is jealous and used isolation to take away everything.
"She's crazy" seems to be their go-to line.
Yeah, I was crazy for going round in circles with a person who had 0% good intent towards me.
Stole money, lied, cheated, control, physical abuse, mental abuse.
Every time i ended it...
"But you're the love of my life,"
"I might as well end it without you in my life"
"You think I want to lose this, you, us?"
Absolutely thriving to broken beyond!!!
But.... now finally, a year no contact later. Still healing & ready to thrive again x
Mel B you are a Goddess, thank you for sharing your story. I hope women all over the world hear it and have the courage to stand up and choose themselves ❤
No, she is not a goddess. Shut up and stop idolizing people.
Abuse is a rotation - it travels and from one tier to the next, one soul to the next and transfers in such a powerful way. Healing is the key to all of it.
Like the frog in the kettle of water that heats up slowly until it realizes it has to jump out!
So true!
Thank you so much for your determination to expose this and to help women ( and men) who are abused.❤❤❤
This was me on my marriage. Everything you’re saying describes my husband. I’ve been out for 3.5 years! Now I see what it was! 26.5 years.
So true, it's not care and concern for you, it's control and entrapment
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Ahh you should have asked her how many women shes beaten up in her past... took me an hot second to find a news report only in 2016 where she talks about attacking shaznay lewis... actually she brags about it 🤦♀️ but thats okay because she a victim now. How can someone talking against domestic violence previously finding it funny when she trys to rip the weave of a fellow black woman off. Its actually insulting to me.
So sad to hear again and again that no matter what classes , culture, educations that women around the world suffering from domestic abuse . And most of the abusers are getting away unpunished . 😢😢😢
Love you Mel B you're an inspiration to all the black girls, and all who are survivors of abuse
You were right and she’s biracial. Her mother is white.
@@karinajones1121 yeah i never said only black women
@@MindsetolympicsShe doesn’t understand…
@@nataliewilliams1932 lol
@@nataliewilliams1932 triste
Mel B you are our HERO thank you for what you are doing. KEEP SHINING A SPOTLIGHT ON THIS!!! The Mental break down and Isolation is the real killer.
I appreciate Mel B telling her story. It is not easy to talk about abuse, and so many of us have gone through it or are going through it now. ❤
Gaslight is an amazing 1947 film, starring Ingrid Bergman. The young wife starts to doubt herself, she might be getting crazy. Not only the husband makes her believe she is detaching from reality and losing her memory, but also the maid is on it as well.❤
I didn’t leave until my son took his own life… somehow that gave me the strength to go I would say when you are in it you cannot see it
Wow I am so so incredibly sorry my homie! Sending you so much love! ❤️
@@LisaBilyeu thank you ❤️
Oh no. You see it. You feel it. You just dont believe you can make it on your own. So you rather suffer because you think you are not good enough and you dont deserve better. But you are.
Sending you hugs💕💕💕
Am so sorry 🫂😢💕💕
This conversation is SO overdue! This knowledge can save lives!!
I survived an abusive marriage and just blocked an abusive man I started dating. He showed SO many of the signs. This crap can truly happen to anyone. Listen to your intuition and don't let the Abuser gaslight you out of it.
This session really resonates with me. I didn't have the fame, but I had the abusive relationship. It is taken years of therapy and peeling the onion to get back on my feet emotionally. I can totally relate to hiding the abuse from the people around you. My abuser kept me isolated. This happened back in the 80s, a very long time ago, we weren't talking about it as much as we do today. Thank you so much for your guest and thank you to the spice girl that who was willing to speak out.
Oh Mel you so got this right. No one seeks this out. Isolation and blaming the victim stinks.
“ get the f out of there” love her honesty and bluntness
I used Womens Aid myself and Mel is right - they will think of everything you need at a time when you can barely get out of bed. They saved me and my son and I will be forever grateful. Thanks to both for this interview, everyone should know that there is happiness on the other side of abuse, you CAN get out. xx
You're one of the very lucky ones to get the help
This is fudging deep. I love that it was the love from her father that was what gave the strength. Go girl go ❤️🔥✊️
trust your womanly instinct ladies. Keep safe while dating, no matter the age, meaning:
1. Tell family and friends close to you where you are going, who you are with and his car rego.
2. Get yourself to the date and back yourself.
3. Don't unload all your trauma, negative experiences from family and friends and exes. They can use that against you.
You are valuable and deserve to be treated well. You're saftey comes first Queens 👑
Fully understand. I finally had the courage and strength to leave my husband when my mum passed. Like you, I felt like all I was doing from then on was not me. It was like her spirit in her was doing it. Even paperwork which he hid from me would just fall in my lap from nowhere. It’s really unexplainable. One need to experience it to understand it. Good for you girl! ❤️
Just bought her book. She's a phenomenal woman whom I've always admired. Abuse comes in so many different ways. My family was my abuser, especially my mother and brother. I'm 50, been married for 29 years and I'm just discovering my career path because of the indoctrination that was drummed into me. My mother's favourite phrase was, "you'd be pretty, successful, happy etc if you'd just lose weight". I've battled with my weight my entire life and it's always been, I'll do x, y or z when I lose weight. My brother was the trifecta, mental, then physical and then sexual. He claims we've got split power of attorney with our grandfather, I haven't signed anything. So has he done it or am I even included? I met an old school friend and it took him and his brother a year to sort their mums power of attorney because of lockdown, my brother had my papas done in weeks during the plandemic. Once my grandfather passes I'll be severing all ties. The only reason I have any contact with him is because it would break my grandfathers heart
Excited for this!! Girl Power forever!❤✌🏻✨ Mel, you are amazing and could never know how loved you truly are, especially by those of us in the “Spice Girls generation.” Thank you for sharing your story - your wisdom is going to help a lot of people. Love always, from Canada 🇨🇦 P.S: You are STUNNING 🤩
Thank you for speaking out, Mel B!
I’ve been an npd victim. It’s sick. It’s been eight months and I’m still in this trauma bond. It’s heartbreaking in many ways. Hope to get the strength you have come to have now.
I experienced the atrocities Mel speaks of and was told the same that I'm strong... Still working on it... To me Mel is so much more: she is Wonder Woman!
I needed THIS today, in THIS moment. Thank you. And I’m sorry that you have had this journey in life and yet, I celebrate the freedom and recovery of joy you are beginning to reclaim. Bless, bless you both.
Thank you Mel B. THIS is what girl power looks like in action. I'm almost in tears because I have been abused and I know how ****wayyyyy long overdue**** this conversation is in our society.
Mel B didn't need to do this. She could have just sat on her fame and her money and kept shtum. She took a big risk to her career in speaking out to help others, and I could not have more admiration and respect for her for doing that. I was a huge Spice Girls fan as a child, and this just feels weirdly cathartic and full circle.
Mel…..you literally described my marriage for countless years 😮 thanks for having the courage to share. I finally gained the courage myself to LEAVE!!!
She’s so on point, so eloquently spoken and correct. I appreciate her courage to share her story. I will definitely read her book. I have so much respect for her.
My ex sounds so similar to her ex. I got out after 5 years together…4 years later, I’m still working on my healing. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy 😢
I love her! Mel you’ve grown so much, we are proud!
This is so important that she speaks about it totally honest and doesn't protect the abuser anymore. She always was and still is a powerful, strong and beautiful women ✨️✨️✨️
I'm also a survivor of a physically and mentally abusive and manipulative marriage. It also took me 10 years to fully realize it and several attempts to finally leave. It's been 4 years since I've left and it was the best decision for my kids and myself.
As a falsely accused mother, I would ask that the opposite also be considered. I was completely on board with this until ‘the put child at risk by allowing the other parent access to the child’. This is how the legal system makes money all over the world.
Am so glad she's doing this , that list could have been written by me . And people don't get how a strong woman finds themselves in such a situation. But like she said abuse can happen to anyone . It happened to me 😢
So proud of you speaking out Mel! ‘But you’re a strong woman’ is the reply I have received also. I grew up a big fan of you and the rest of the group here in the uk. Nice to see you are spreading that girl power even today! I have had many abusive relationships. One 10yrs also. A women’s shelter saved me and my children’s lives. I have had therapy, nice home, studying at university and two of my children have left home now and succeeding in life. Life is peaceful now. I have been single 9yrs now and have experienced two healthy relationships over the years too (still didn’t work out due to the trauma I have suffered). I am convinced I will never be in another relationship again but fingers crossed that maybe I can trust another man one day but if not….i am at peace.
Congrats on your endeavours and big hugs to you Mel x
I remember seeing her during this relationship she seemed like she was like a zombie I thought she was on drugs she looked like an empty shell so sad now she looks beautiful and she regained her spirit !
🙏🏾 God bless you Melanie for taking what the enemy wanted to destroy you with and turning it into your message/purpose for the greater good.
This was absolutley tremendous, Thank you so much Lisa and Mel, You're brave for sharing your story and helping many people, I have upmost Respect for you Mel, You can't force someone to be with someone, especially when you've figured them out and exposed them, No one should be gaslighted, manipulated, coerced or controlled, if they apologise and say they've changed, Don't believe them, It's just a manipulative tactic, Keep shining light and speaking and spreading truth, Peace, love, Respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God is great 💚🌲👽😊😇🐉❤😃🌈💜🕊💙🐎😘🦄💛💙
Wonderful woman and the most exciting powerful performer of the Spice Girls. Electric.
Rest in Peace to your Dad Mel,and thankyou for sharing your story!You are a brave,strong woman,and it's not your fault!..wishing you all the best on your healing path ♥️♥️
Mel is such a legend for speaking up❤. What a great ambassador against abuse
how can anyone call her ugly??? She's gorgeous and flawless!
Sad that Mel B. had to suffer like that for all those years. I well recall reading about her abuser's prior history in some women's magazine or other back in the day when the two had first got together. Stunned to realize it took all those years before she got away from him. Better late than never! Kudos to her for helping others now that she's in a position to do so.
Everything Mel says about her narcissist ex is exactly what I experienced with mine. The initial lovebombing to get hooked to them. The connection between you and a narcissist feels like a dream come because they mirror you or camouflaged themselves into what you have told them you like in a partner. Once the lovebombimg stage is over, you are in eternal hell. They are such master manipulators. Leaving them is so hard because they don't want you to leave. They thrive on your suffering, confusion, social isolation, identity crisis. They make it their goal to break you into pieces. Honestly, we need movies on narcissism. Most people will fall prey to them, because they aren't movies about narcissism. Yeah they are many characters their are narcissist but tilling the movie narcissist would help tons of people and potentially save lots of lives
You are strong, you are a beautiful soul. Thanks Mel for sharing your story, it can happen to anyone. It happened to me, but I wasn't believed by certain people as I was seen as confident.
I hope you have peace and a happy life now ❤
thank you MelB and Lisa for broadcasting this material - this i my story as well and it takes sometimes decades to heal. The biggest factor I have found from my own experience and that of other survivor Goddesses is that we had to do what was safest for our children and we understood it would take time and strategy to extract ourselves from the nightmare of living a hollow dangerous lie and calling it happy families, just to survive, self medicating etc. I was hiding cash under the rug for food for the children, there were lies deception, devastation. I ended up with complex pts with traumatic bereavement and i've now dedicated my life to helping others heal from trauma after healing myself. Thank you MelB for your candid bravery I grew up on girl power as a teen lots of love MelDJ
yes bessel van der kolk book the body holds the score - every time you talk of past trauma you body does indeed interpret that the trauma is happening now - this pushes our autonomic nervous system into dis regulation - you know you have healed trauma when you can separate your physiological responses from verbally recalling the event. I use natural healing arts therapy to help survivors shift trauma from the soma. the work of Gabor Mate is also excellent and the doco 'what is love' is brilliant.
What an inspiring story & so much love for being brave enough to teach others.. when you're famous & can have so much backlash, but you still sacrifice to help others.. such beautiful lady's ❤
Mel B is so beautiful inside outside...and her voice sounds so cool, love it ❤
I ' m a huge Spice Girls' fan and when I read Mel ' s book I was so sad to know that she had to go through all of this.
ADMIRATION for you dear Mel❤
It happens to anyone. The problem is they think they can get away with it.
Mel, thank you for bringing your beautiful voice to this very delicate subject. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Good for you, Mel!
Your abusive Ex helped you to become the best version of yourself.
Because of the abuse, you found your true calling in life.
You are making a difference and using your celebrity status to generate change, even changing laws.
You are changing the trajectory of your family DNA and the future of your children.
Keep healing, keep educating your kids.
Seeing you change from victim to Thriver is beautiful to watch.
You are all about power and rewriting your story.
I got out of an abusive marriage to a narcissist.
It takes all you have.
All the best to you beautiful soul.
Your children are lucky to have you as their Mom! 🙏❤️🙏
Uuuhm... I refuse to give the predator any credit though..
This video is so needed. I can relate as I've been an abusive relationship with a narcissist for 15+ years. Up until last year, I didn't know I was even in an abusive relationship, and that was discovered during my first few sessions with a therapist. Now, I need to get out, but I am terrified to do so. 🙏🏽
God has help me heal from all that trauma I wasn’t physically abused but I was mentally, verbally, emotionally and financially.. the worst is when you share kids the last resource they use is trying to control and manipulate using the children
I wish I knew about her foundation years ago THIS WORK IS SO IMPORTANT
❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤍 Thank you so much for empowering us WOMEN so much!!! Best Regards & LOVE from Austria!!!
Simon did care … he noticed!
I noticed with the ex that he was always angry whenever I was watching powerful women programs like real housewives..... He was always mad. But whenever am down he would be there and presents himself as the helper. And I could now see that he was secretly happy for my down fall............
❤❤ This story so resonates!!! Im proud of you!! have a story 23 years of it! Thank for sharing.
I left too!! I just lost a beautiful Friend that lost her life to assault by her bf. I'm not going to let her be forgotten!!
55:36 “my truth” is one of those trendy ideas that causes more harm than good. If everyone gets to say their own personal version of truth, then whose truth is most valid? It opens the door wide for gaslighting and manipulation.
Love the bonus session! 😄 Wanted to add, sometimes it's hard for us to even identify what we need, that's part of healing.
Thank you for speaking about it. I wish as a younger girl I was educated about it at school. The abuse I suffered made me have PTSD symptoms, unfortunately it happens to too many women
This episode is so needed and so important! We're really not there yet with the system to provide the support necessary, especially courts are a nightmare! 😔
I really hope shes telling the truth because, the evidence he has stated his has sounds very credible and he's taking it to court.
DV is such a serious subject to mock those who have been through it is incredulous to me why someone would do that.
Time will time.
So happy that I ran into this interview. I used to live there
I went to London studio centre and Pineapple studios. . So I love my SG.
I'm in a DV shelter in Phoenix. He literally took over my life. I should of saw the red flags and I did try to leave him while I had my animals. But I left with two bags. He is with other women now.
He had restraining orders on me the entire time and wouldn't ever allow me to have key. He had even family members gang up on me. It was so bad that even being here my story is so heavy. I sometimes dont believe how bad it really was.
Love it ❤ the opening images popped up of 'Mel' in her spice girls heyday are actually images of her daughter in a shoot she did last year.... wearing her moms clothes...
The abuse in almost all my relationships was mental and emotional. For the longest time I did not know it was abuse. I thought it was normal due to my upbringing. I couldn't see myself as a victim of abuse because I looked strong and was told I was strong. Now I know that the men I allowed into my life wanted to break that strength down until I was nothing but theirs to with as they pleased. When I thought I had met my prince charming, who turned out to be the worst of the worst, it was until then that I could finally see the pattern of abuse. He broke me and I kept going back for more. The insanity of it shook me to my core. I became quite ill and he still kept on leeching off of me. That was the straw that broke my back. I'm glad to know now that I'm healing and happy again. Never give up on yourself. You are worth it. ❤
Well done Mel, knowledge is power!
Slightly insensitive to advertise expensive bedding, most victims of domestic abuse are victims of financial abuse and fighting for financial survival. Mel you ROCK! ❤
Absolutely!!! My knight in shining armour was a facade!!! He was somebody totally different behind closed doors... scary stuff!!!
Mel, you helped me leave. Possibly saving my life & the lives of my children. My gratitude for your strength is beyond xxxxxxxxxxx
The term gaslighting comes from the movie Gaslight. I watched it and it does not disappoint. I think it's even free to watch on RUclips.
Mel B - only love for you ❤
A senior social worker who knew me because my son is autistic ( she was a Children and Families SW) said to me when I finally admitted to the abuse said to me “ you don’t present as a victim.” In other words because I stood up for my son and ensured he got help she didn’t believe I could be abused. My ex was able to lie and manipulate people involved with my son and even people I worked with. I remember not being believed but I have most of all never forgotten that remark which was another slap in the face. Great to hear a strong powerful woman like Mel B showing abuse is not confined to certain people-you can be strong and opinionated and still be abused because you don’t actually realise it’s happening until the scales fall off your eyes
I am so glad you are being so open because this will help so many women
Much appreciated your spin on "gratitude" Lisa...got so much out of this whole video ❤ TY 🙏
Wow, ISO needed to hear this.Thank you so much for your authentic share
Yup thank goodness for my parents my grandparents teaching me right building me showing me love and respect and morals
We thought you had Girl power before, you brought girl power to the world ... this is Girl power !!!
Thank you for this subject, it needs to even more out in the open. Women need to talk more about it, take action because men won't do it for us. So we need to fight, and stick to each other, back each other up, be there for one and another. Love ourselves, be happy with our body and the person we are, we are allowed to be here on beautiful Mother Earth. Buy ourselves flowers, if we want flower's in our house. We are worth it! And men need to see that. The younger generation needs to see that, they're in charge of their own lifes. Strength to everybody out there! You are amazing and lovely 🙏 ❤❤❤
She is so well spoken...very clear message
An abuser will always abuse,amen,true words spoken,I Greet 100 percent my lovely ,wonderful Spice girl says Katya from Cuba who is struggling to break free from a very abusive relationship,thank you for the open talk,I needed thT❤😢
Thankyou so so much for speaking out mel we love you ❤❤❤❤
THANK YOU SO MUCH LISA!
Statistically, it takes an abuse victim, 6-8 times to be able to leave their abusive partner. I learned that from a nurse in hospital when I was going through my horrific marriage. I've been out of that marriage over 4 years, I've had a year of therapy, but there's still days (like today) when I still feel the effects. CPTSD never goes away. I'm looking forward to this interview, I think I need it today. (I'm 4minutes in lol)
Thank you mel b I totally understand you. I was ashamed and hid my abuse from my self and family for over 10 year's ❤ 💖 ♥ thank you goddess 😊
Thank you ❤
That's true. I was lucky to know a lot about the topic. They do know how to do it. I got out of an abusive relationship on time within a year. Reason he classified me as a rebel at end. He got frustrated because he didn't accomplish all he planned with me. I thank God, I didn't fall completely... Yet that affects you for years. No matter how well you heal and on yourself. You get nervous when anyone gets too close with you. I got over him just in a few months... pretty quick, but the effects take much longer for the body and mind to heal. Took me over 5 years to say that I'm finally ready to try to be in a relationship...a healthy one.
I do know what it looks like. I have many examples of it around me... healthy relationships. Without a support system it's very difficult to get out. Having a good healthy self esteem helps to get out too.
Thank you for sharing your story! This applies for men too, abusers can be women towards against men too. Men towards women also.
She is so brave and articulate and amazing. So proud of you Mel, what you are doing is powerful work.
I know exactly what you are saying Mel, control and love bombing, well done Mel.
Wow! She shared some great practical ways of dealing with the situation. Really found this very helpful ❤
So pleased!
You’re amazing to bring up this awareness
Bless you for speaking out. I am a survivor as well
Mel B's perspective on 'strong' as a complement is spot on!
Oh Lisa. You are such a bright light. Mel B... love her forever since I first saw her as a child. ❤
Shut down the relationship the first time it happens. Never be embarrassed to get out.
Hopefully, because he's been with a high profile woman he won't be as easily able to do it to other people. However, like most abusers, they will make out they are the victim and Mel is the crazy one...and women fall for it because the abusers seem to perfect that you just can't believe it at first. I had a relationship with someone who told me that he had 'strong sociopathic tendencies' (and he was a senior mental health professional) but I didn't believe it because he was so amazing to start with. I'm really wary of men because of previous abuse so I started to see the signs. It still took a while to get out though because the inconsistency makes it so hard to separate the abuser and the angel in the same person.
what an incredible woman
I didn't intend to be in that kind of relationship.
I came here with good intentions. ❤❤❤