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Dear Africa, I can so relate. Expressing my needs was always associated with punishment experiencing childhood abuse by a narcissistic parent. The fear of punishment is so deeply engrained in me as an adult. No matter how I try I am so afraid of getting punished and restricting myself constantly (logically it is nonsense and yet....).
I am 1000% right there with you. It's negatively affected me throughout my adult life and affected decisions I've made, big and small and the fear is constant company. 😔 I feel for you. Hopefully we can overcome it.
I was born to German parents that were raised during the second world war. They were soldiers and raised us to be soldiers. Stand straight, dont speak, do as you are told without question, and women arent worth anything except as breeders and cleaners. Abuse on all levels except sexual. I was always being strapped for speaking up. I still speak up but was raised to expect abuse. I married abuse. I finally found me and got out. Not many men are raised to be self reliant and speaking the truth. I dont expect to find a good partner as I dont need a man. They want to be needed. They want to have the last word, but if it isnt a good last word i dont obey, i do the responsible adult action.
Direct, authentic speech is VERY SATISFYING. Women get so little true satisfaction. This one is worth it and a gift that keeps on giving...DIRECT SPEECH.
Speaking up has its consequences though… I’ve spoken up for myself and been retaliated for it… especially at work. It’s a very difficult situation where you have to pick and choose battles when to say something and when to keep your mouth shut….
This was such a powerful conversation. I really enjoyed how Africa spoke so clearly and concisely on this uncomfortable but much needed dialogue. I'm currently working through finding my own voice and owning it. Ive had decades of rejection that I'm still working through. I do feel that the shame and guilt we all feel is universal and the goal is to shed light unto the darkness we hide from ourselves and others.
I've always spoken out for myself but, it's only gotten me into trouble. From childhood with stepmoms, I always had to fight my way out of being dumped on. This has followed me into adulthood and in relationships. As an adult, I vehemently refuse to be taken advantage of from those who feel I don't deserve to be respected for the person I am. Just broke up with my partner of 2 years because he felt he wasn't accountable for his bad deeds.
Hi Africa! I’m India.. I appreciate you for sharing so much. I have been along this ride with my fiancé and I am actively working on my defensive behavior. 😅
I have always hated that, men looking at other women, up and down with their eyes, right in front of me. I didn’t like it either, if a man in a couple, was looking at me that way. It’s so disrespectful to the woman he is with and as well it’s disrespectful to the woman in his gaze.
Yes, it's disgusting. In high school, I slapped an ex for that. Not only did he ogle at her, he openly commented on her body parts. I wouldn't do it again but I don't regret it either.
Sadly it can come from parents, often mothers with unhealed wounds, who snuff out their daughter's voice because they already had their's snuffed out by their mother too. "Be nice!" "Don't say no to someone as you need to be there for people."
Hi Lisa, just wanna thank you for you're hard work and for this episode in particular ~ you're doin Britain (and Cyprus) a top justice and I love you honey ❤ never change and stay fabulous home girl xxx
This was pure gold, Thank you so much to the both of you for this, Thank you Africa for sharing your story, Lisa is amazing and a great leader for us women, I'm very grateful for women of impact, I'm honest and blunt, I'm a leader, Not a sheep, My mind is my own, I make my own decisions and choices, No one has a right to violate my boundaries, Autonomy, I'm in control, of my thought, Emotions and behavior, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-) :-) :-)
Howwww wonderful the self observation of using ownership rather than fault…… as y’all were discussing I could help but see the perspective of a person who over emotionalizes things 🙋🏻♀️ to have the need to use ownership instead of fault, because I was criticized so heavily growing up…. And then I ask…. There must be a balance to this….🧐🤔🤔??? Thoughts Lisa?
If women want to be happy they need to STOP LISTENING TO OTHER WOMEN. Good grief its not rocket science. You all act like youre the only humans on Earth 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
This interview sounds like a high functioning neuro divergent who was high masking and looking for love in all the wrong places, and found herself when she unmasked and allowed her true self out; our inner child IS us. 💕
Thank you to today’s sponsors:
Caraway: Visit impacttheory.co/CarawayWOINov or use code WOI at checkout and get 10% off your next purchase!
Pique Tea: Get 20% off site-wide at impacttheory.co/PiqueTeaWOINov
Dear Africa, I can so relate. Expressing my needs was always associated with punishment experiencing childhood abuse by a narcissistic parent. The fear of punishment is so deeply engrained in me as an adult. No matter how I try I am so afraid of getting punished and restricting myself constantly (logically it is nonsense and yet....).
I am 1000% right there with you. It's negatively affected me throughout my adult life and affected decisions I've made, big and small and the fear is constant company. 😔 I feel for you. Hopefully we can overcome it.
I was born to German parents that were raised during the second world war. They were soldiers and raised us to be soldiers. Stand straight, dont speak, do as you are told without question, and women arent worth anything except as breeders and cleaners. Abuse on all levels except sexual. I was always being strapped for speaking up. I still speak up but was raised to expect abuse. I married abuse. I finally found me and got out. Not many men are raised to be self reliant and speaking the truth. I dont expect to find a good partner as I dont need a man. They want to be needed. They want to have the last word, but if it isnt a good last word i dont obey, i do the responsible adult action.
Direct, authentic speech is VERY SATISFYING. Women get so little true satisfaction. This one is worth it and a gift that keeps on giving...DIRECT SPEECH.
We appreciate this so much! Thank you for watching!
Just starting watching and I like her natural look oooh my God she is beautiful and authentic
She is the best!
Speaking up has its consequences though… I’ve spoken up for myself and been retaliated for it… especially at work. It’s a very difficult situation where you have to pick and choose battles when to say something and when to keep your mouth shut….
This was such a powerful conversation. I really enjoyed how Africa spoke so clearly and concisely on this uncomfortable but much needed dialogue. I'm currently working through finding my own voice and owning it. Ive had decades of rejection that I'm still working through. I do feel that the shame and guilt we all feel is universal and the goal is to shed light unto the darkness we hide from ourselves and others.
Master Class in Self Love and Respect.
I've always spoken out for myself but, it's only gotten me into trouble. From childhood with stepmoms, I always had to fight my way out of being dumped on. This has followed me into adulthood and in relationships. As an adult, I vehemently refuse to be taken advantage of from those who feel I don't deserve to be respected for the person I am. Just broke up with my partner of 2 years because he felt he wasn't accountable for his bad deeds.
Hi Africa! I’m India.. I appreciate you for sharing so much. I have been along this ride with my fiancé and I am actively working on my defensive behavior. 😅
💕
I have always hated that, men looking at other women, up and down with their eyes, right in front of me. I didn’t like it either, if a man in a couple, was looking at me that way. It’s so disrespectful to the woman he is with and as well it’s disrespectful to the woman in his gaze.
So true 🙏🏻💕
❤
Yes, it's disgusting. In high school, I slapped an ex for that. Not only did he ogle at her, he openly commented on her body parts. I wouldn't do it again but I don't regret it either.
I totally paused before the end and bought her book on Audible!
Love the content,thank you Africa! I just need this at this moment
Love this..first time seeing Africa I love her💞sounds looks amazing.. great discussion Lisa 😘
I really love this convo sm!! Thank you for being there Africa, Thankyou for bringing her on Lisa
"you acting like the person you are becoming" GREAT! Me likeeeeey🙏👍🥳
Africa, who are you? I love your systemic way of thinking and being! ❤
No one is going to shame you for your truth.... This!!!!!
One of our favorite moments!
Sadly it can come from parents, often mothers with unhealed wounds, who snuff out their daughter's voice because they already had their's snuffed out by their mother too. "Be nice!" "Don't say no to someone as you need to be there for people."
Too true!
I just experienced something like this with a professional relationship. This video is very timely.
Thank you for the empowerment Lady Africa Brooke.🙏🏽🌱
Hi Lisa, just wanna thank you for you're hard work and for this episode in particular ~ you're doin Britain (and Cyprus) a top justice and I love you honey ❤ never change and stay fabulous home girl xxx
This is so amazing! We will be sure to let her know!
Ahhhh thanks so so much!
Thank you Lisa for the incredible content and guests.❤❤❤
This means so much to us! Thank you for watching! 💕
This is beautiful ❤❤
Thank you for watching! 🥹
This was pure gold, Thank you so much to the both of you for this, Thank you Africa for sharing your story, Lisa is amazing and a great leader for us women, I'm very grateful for women of impact, I'm honest and blunt, I'm a leader, Not a sheep, My mind is my own, I make my own decisions and choices, No one has a right to violate my boundaries, Autonomy, I'm in control, of my thought, Emotions and behavior, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-) :-) :-)
Thank you so so much for such a kind yet badass message!!! Appreciate you my homie! 🥰
@LisaBilyeu You're very welcome Lisa, Appreciation for you too :-)
Amazing and freeing interview 🙌. I felt it !
Oh my god this was so beautiful you are both brilliantly wonderful thankyou for this Great Show I’m sharing with with my close ones ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for your kind words and for watching!
This is most honest & loving ❣️
💕
This is so great!!!! Ty!!!!
Of course 💕
Seems pretty good…. Thank you:)
That was one of the best podcasts. Yes masterclass 😊❤
Wow! This means the world to us.
So many things in here resonate. ❤
We love to hear that!
I’m soooo done 💥
In Sales Training, the “little Yeses” lead to the big Yes.”🚪 What door are you opening and inviting in with your “little Yeses?” 👀🧟♀️⚡️
Howwww wonderful the self observation of using ownership rather than fault…… as y’all were discussing I could help but see the perspective of a person who over emotionalizes things 🙋🏻♀️ to have the need to use ownership instead of fault, because I was criticized so heavily growing up…. And then I ask…. There must be a balance to this….🧐🤔🤔??? Thoughts Lisa?
In Law Enforcement, we call this “Command Authority.” 💪🏾🤨
When you find it, you find the “Authority” over your identity, action and life. ⚡️😎
Your poor grandma. I’m glad you could understand where that came from
💕
Really awaited video Lisa 😊
Meghan Markle should call you two fabulous women to coach her. Very good video. ❤❤❤
Thank you so much!! 🥰
🔥🔥👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
😢 Grammys advice hit hard
❤❤❤
Comment below one word that sums up this episode for you! 👇
Apologetic demeanor, oh my goodness!!!
😢
🪽😇🙏💐👍
If women want to be happy they need to STOP LISTENING TO OTHER WOMEN. Good grief its not rocket science. You all act like youre the only humans on Earth 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
This interview sounds like a high functioning neuro divergent who was high masking and looking for love in all the wrong places, and found herself when she unmasked and allowed her true self out; our inner child IS us. 💕
My sentiments EXACTLY!!!! What a refreshing and real conversation.