I love this conversation. Many downplayed their childhood abuse and neglect. When they meet partners who treat them like their childhood, they call the police and complain. Meanwhile, abuse is abuse. If a mother truly loves their child and fear causing them pain, she/he would quickly seek help to prevent them from causing the innocent child who is vulnerable to feel safe.
Setting boundaries is so important. It feels like a high stakes act to set a boundary because reactions may be very negative from people who are used to you without boundaries. Setting boundaries has bern worth any losses I experienced, however. The losses were needed in order for me to continue to heal and work towards a peaceful and whole life. ☮️❤️
@33:03 giving and giving to family isn't just material , from personal experience being the "emotional bank" for family members and friends who were emotionally selfish, needy, and bereft, was something I wish I established boundaries on before I was depleted. Glad my two favorites linked for a talk I've followed your works for years. Thank you both 💜
Loved this conversation. Two of my favourite people having a conversation about one of my favourite topics. I have been struggling with this for years. I have tried staying in a hotel when I visit my parents, and I have stayed with them. For me it's not only sitting with the discomfort, but feeling like I am doing something wrong or selfish. As my parents get older, I don't want to disappoint them, or I want to please them. My comfort is less important than their joy. And it's not that bad. I know, "it's not that bad" is not good. But I don't want to regret this when they are no longer here. This is the struggle for me. I am thinking maybe a hybrid solution could work, so a couple of day sin a hotel and a couple of days at their place. Thanks for all your tips and wisdom.
I totally get you as I'm I the same exact position 😊.. I did the 2 day hotel and rest at parents place.. sitting with discomfort and doing my inner work at the same time.. it's a hard place to be at in life presently. I don't ever want to regret my actions towards them when they are gone. But I am so glad to hear of similar situations and hopefully share things that works for all parties. 🙏
YESSSS! I’m an only child. My PARENTS are sooo co-dependent on me. fear of mom especially of the pressure of having to do stuff for her or just be “available”. She giving me such a hard guilty feeling about my hubby and I possibly moving 2 hours away in a couple of years. Sigh….my dad is still with her, but she gets sooo worried about what she’ll do if he’s not around one day.
I can so relate to the dog story! Two large untrained dogs in my new small condo, sure makes sense to me to say no to that. Son did not receive that well. They are his children! Thanks for the chuckle!
Another terrific video, Terri! Boundaries are so hard to set and stick to with family of origin. I work on it constantly with my overbearing family who can not accept that I am an adult with my own life...at 44 years old! Just like my yoga practice, this too is a practice. Thank you to you and Nedra! I have your books and read and re-read them! 😃
Buying both these remarkable women's books was the best £ spent all year. They have entirely rewritten my view of how I interact with people in every area of life.
Some are breeding from their insecurity that also steam from their childhood. The need to control everything most times live us isolated and losing people all the time. Humans can't do see things the same way. The ability to understand how to build flexibility with others does help in playing the role of a healthy team.
10:59 resonates with me so much. I often know I don't want to do something, esp with certain family, but I feel so guilty/obligated. It feels like I'm not allowed to say no...
I feel like the need to do everything myself is away of avoiding trouble, destructive criticism and cultural downers. I didn't want to be seen as weak or not capable because it could somehow ruin my reputation😅
I feel like maybe a lot of us that have trouble with boundaries were children who would get in trouble for “backtalking” to our parents.
I love this conversation. Many downplayed their childhood abuse and neglect. When they meet partners who treat them like their childhood, they call the police and complain. Meanwhile, abuse is abuse. If a mother truly loves their child and fear causing them pain, she/he would quickly seek help to prevent them from causing the innocent child who is vulnerable to feel safe.
What a terrific collaboration.
I love how you make space for other authors…even ones who publish on the same genre!❤❤❤
Thank you, Julia ❤️
I'm a fan.
Setting boundaries is so important. It feels like a high stakes act to set a boundary because reactions may be very negative from people who are used to you without boundaries. Setting boundaries has bern worth any losses I experienced, however. The losses were needed in order for me to continue to heal and work towards a peaceful and whole life. ☮️❤️
I am so glad setting boundaries has been worth it for you, R.A. ❤️
@33:03 giving and giving to family isn't just material , from personal experience being the "emotional bank" for family members and friends who were emotionally selfish, needy, and bereft, was something I wish I established boundaries on before I was depleted.
Glad my two favorites linked for a talk I've followed your works for years. Thank you both 💜
Thank you for sharing, and for watching! ❤️
Emotional bank ..yep that's me still.. so draining 😔
Loved this conversation. Two of my favourite people having a conversation about one of my favourite topics. I have been struggling with this for years. I have tried staying in a hotel when I visit my parents, and I have stayed with them. For me it's not only sitting with the discomfort, but feeling like I am doing something wrong or selfish. As my parents get older, I don't want to disappoint them, or I want to please them. My comfort is less important than their joy. And it's not that bad. I know, "it's not that bad" is not good. But I don't want to regret this when they are no longer here. This is the struggle for me. I am thinking maybe a hybrid solution could work, so a couple of day sin a hotel and a couple of days at their place. Thanks for all your tips and wisdom.
I totally get you as I'm I the same exact position 😊..
I did the 2 day hotel and rest at parents place.. sitting with discomfort and doing my inner work at the same time.. it's a hard place to be at in life presently. I don't ever want to regret my actions towards them when they are gone.
But I am so glad to hear of similar situations and hopefully share things that works for all parties. 🙏
YESSSS! I’m an only child. My PARENTS are sooo co-dependent on me. fear of mom especially of the pressure of having to do stuff for her or just be “available”. She giving me such a hard guilty feeling about my hubby and I possibly moving 2 hours away in a couple of years. Sigh….my dad is still with her, but she gets sooo worried about what she’ll do if he’s not around one day.
I am witnessing you with compassion, Michelle ❤️ That pressure is real!
OMG!!!! 🤎🤎🤎
The baby part speaks to my soul. Thank you.
I can so relate to the dog story! Two large untrained dogs in my new small condo, sure makes sense to me to say no to that. Son did not receive that well. They are his children! Thanks for the chuckle!
Another terrific video, Terri! Boundaries are so hard to set and stick to with family of origin. I work on it constantly with my overbearing family who can not accept that I am an adult with my own life...at 44 years old! Just like my yoga practice, this too is a practice. Thank you to you and Nedra! I have your books and read and re-read them! 😃
It is absolutely a practice, Birdie! So glad you enjoyed my chat with Nedra ❤️
Buying both these remarkable women's books was the best £ spent all year. They have entirely rewritten my view of how I interact with people in every area of life.
❤️❤️❤️
Some are breeding from their insecurity that also steam from their childhood. The need to control everything most times live us isolated and losing people all the time. Humans can't do see things the same way. The ability to understand how to build flexibility with others does help in playing the role of a healthy team.
I love this Lady! ❤ thank you for having Nedra on your platform
She is amazing, isn't she? ❤️
Thank you for this! I know I have forgiven my family.. what is missing are boundaries ❤❤❤
You are so welcome, Deeveria ❤️
I really enjoyed the cool, soft flow, of the conversation ❣️❣️ while sharing very important issues we all encounter in our own life’s . Thank you.🥰
Makes me happy to hear it, Gabriella ❤️
@@terri_cole
🌸✌️
I loved it. I listened twice. ❤❤❤
So glad you enjoyed this conversation ❤️
This was such a helpful conversation. Thank you so much!
So glad you found it helpful, Shawn ❤️
10:59 resonates with me so much. I often know I don't want to do something, esp with certain family, but I feel so guilty/obligated. It feels like I'm not allowed to say no...
I feel you and see you so much ❤️ This is very common with family of origin!
Cool ladies ❤❤ loved the broadcast
❤️
So enlightening and empowering!!! Thank you so much Terri and Nedra!!!
So glad you enjoyed it!
I feel like the need to do everything myself is away of avoiding trouble, destructive criticism and cultural downers. I didn't want to be seen as weak or not capable because it could somehow ruin my reputation😅
I am witnessing you with compassion, Valda ❤️ Thank you for sharing this insight with us!
R u in reality finding help is not easy-shows how disconnected u both r from being an at home mom
If it was just diapers-really!! Condescending of women I don’t think so. One sided. Give better examples those r lame