I ruined the new Bitlife Business update

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  • Опубликовано: 27 ноя 2024
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Комментарии • 955

  • @Ewnasastan
    @Ewnasastan 2 года назад +1451

    The fact that Kevin’s first thought when not having any money to invest wasn’t to kill his parents, was the most surprising part of this video.

    • @pedrovallefin8406
      @pedrovallefin8406 2 года назад +61

      Well, considering Kevins main strategy as bussinessman was to go with the flow at all times (even when it didnt seem to be working and when it actually failed spectaculary), it wouldnt do to get money in such a way. See how he could have easily speed up the process of inheriting his wives money, but instead choose the long way. And, one could say, the most enjoyable way. Patiently waiting for them to die while slowly wasting away all their money. Waiting for his parents deaths to get the money is just another side of that. Father Time really is the best hitman there is.

    • @nathalievanhecke6436
      @nathalievanhecke6436 2 года назад +27

      Therapist might say he is improving 😅

    • @manologamerss5801
      @manologamerss5801 2 года назад +35

      @@pedrovallefin8406 Thing is: Killing decreases karma, which also means it reduces lifespan and makes you more likely to get ill and die. Getting really old wives is apparently something that doesn't decrease karma at all (Although him skipping people's funerals might've decreased his lifespan by a few years)

    • @TheLibermania
      @TheLibermania 5 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@manologamerss5801Paddy Fitzpatrick might disagree with that.
      "My hitman fingers are tingeling"

  • @yourlocaljoyandhappiness8461
    @yourlocaljoyandhappiness8461 2 года назад +2056

    I'm not sure what i missed more: Kevin's bitlife series or the clever names he always gives to his protagonists

    • @TheUltimateRare
      @TheUltimateRare 2 года назад +17

      lets remember that he might not be a good business man but lets say... he knows how to tie up some...
      loose ends. ☠

    • @UtopssAKAPJ
      @UtopssAKAPJ 2 года назад +2

      strongly relate

    • @dirkjehovah4731
      @dirkjehovah4731 2 года назад +8

      I love the odd names his family members get. My favorite was Juanita Boys 2 lol.

    • @sarac9424
      @sarac9424 2 года назад +6

      Some of those product names started getting cursed as the video progressed 💀

    • @springwater6693
      @springwater6693 2 года назад +2

      it’s been too long since the last one because i was more surprised by the name he chose than i should’ve been

  • @MINECHEZ1
    @MINECHEZ1 2 года назад +4959

    Kevin: plays video games to escape reality.
    Video games: your surname has been changed to O’reilly

  • @theboshajones
    @theboshajones 2 года назад +789

    "Doing nothing and expecting everything to get better and better" damn I didn't realise someone named Businessman Ltd. could be so relatable

  • @serdiavalos4878
    @serdiavalos4878 2 года назад +289

    The thing that I love about these bitlife videos is that no matter the context, Kevin always somehow ends up hiring a hitman at some point

    • @metasteelgaming4373
      @metasteelgaming4373 2 года назад +32

      That and marrying a rich old lady

    • @Engardian
      @Engardian Год назад +18

      Honestly we should make a Kevin BitLife bingo. Silly name is basically a free space. Hiring a Hitman, Risking it All at the Casino, Penis Enlargement, Demon-Red Eyes, Gold-Digging, Adopting Exotic Pet, Abandoning Children, First Kill by Age 12, etc.

  • @sourgreendolly7685
    @sourgreendolly7685 2 года назад +687

    every time Bitlife gets a full update, I’m ready for Kevin to “ruin” it

    • @pedrovallefin8406
      @pedrovallefin8406 2 года назад +24

      Lets be real, this is actually how the game is meant to be played. Otherwise its just the most crass and repetitive life simulator there is. This way its genuinely fun.

    • @springwater6693
      @springwater6693 2 года назад +14

      @@pedrovallefin8406 bitlife is always weird though, you can easily recreate the chaos kevin makes by randomising choices because the game is just as murderous nonsensical on its own

    • @pedrovallefin8406
      @pedrovallefin8406 2 года назад +10

      @@springwater6693 Yeah, i know bitlife can be very weird on its own. That's what i mean when i said this is how its mean to be played. Cause, if you try to play it any other way that isnt the Kevin way, you probably gonna get bored prety quick. The game leans on its weirdness and capacity for chaos. Hence why theres so many options for crime or just lose money in dumb ways. Trying to play it "the right way" wont lead anywhere interesting.

    • @jg9301
      @jg9301 2 года назад +6

      @@pedrovallefin8406 i got into bitlife because of kevin and lo and behold, my boring ass played the right way because i wanted achievements. It was really stressful. Now i just live vicariously through kevin

  • @rhawkas2637
    @rhawkas2637 2 года назад +1719

    Kevin: *Works as CEO for several huge companies and becomes famous.*
    BitLife: Everyone will remember you for that time you made a foot fetish shoe store.

  • @skye1420
    @skye1420 2 года назад +775

    I don't think I've ever laughed harder at a bitlife video than when Kevin started laundering his own wife's money through his business 😂

  • @sianblack3042
    @sianblack3042 2 года назад +4947

    you don’t “ruin” things, kevin. you simply… make things more interesting

    • @capertuyplaysgd
      @capertuyplaysgd 2 года назад +15

      Yeah tru

    • @clairiebee
      @clairiebee 2 года назад +45

      You simply make things more Kevin

    • @UtopssAKAPJ
      @UtopssAKAPJ 2 года назад +5

      too true :)

    • @UtopssAKAPJ
      @UtopssAKAPJ 2 года назад +12

      there is the right way, the wrong way, and my favourite the Kevin way :)

    • @TheUltimateRare
      @TheUltimateRare 2 года назад +2

      can't it be both?

  • @seidimeow
    @seidimeow 2 года назад +2335

    anyone else get whiplash from kev's bitlife videos 🥴 I feel like SO much happens so fast, it's more chaos than usual- this man lives like 20 lives in 1 and then suddenly, raccoon

    • @UtopssAKAPJ
      @UtopssAKAPJ 2 года назад +43

      raccoon bit out of no where 🤣

    • @springwater6693
      @springwater6693 2 года назад

      bitlife is perfect for kevin because it’s already wild. you can cause your parents divorce, kill a few people, become a billionaire and survive every std and substance addiction known to man only to struck by the sudden realisation that you’re gay and then also lightning

    • @salemcrow5078
      @salemcrow5078 2 года назад +38

      You try to pet a raccoon ONCE

    • @seidimeow
      @seidimeow 2 года назад +12

      @@salemcrow5078 life is so unfair really

    • @DRAGONFLAIR2008
      @DRAGONFLAIR2008 2 года назад

      @@UtopssAKAPJ SHUT

  • @attila4585
    @attila4585 2 года назад +167

    Not only a military genius but a bitlife expert aswell, Kevin is showing another one of his great talents.

  • @3dtd82
    @3dtd82 2 года назад +140

    When I see a Bitlife upload, it's my first priority to watch it, because you know it will be absolutely chaotic in the best of ways.

  • @JhericFury
    @JhericFury 2 года назад +504

    I'm laughing so hard at the board of that robot company hiring a famous CEO, and paying him $2M to tank the company in one move.

    • @michael_gibbs
      @michael_gibbs Год назад +47

      Otherwise known as doing an Elon Musk.

    • @manologamerss5801
      @manologamerss5801 Год назад +19

      ​@@michael_gibbsNah, it would be an Elon if HE paid to tank the company in one move.

    • @ethanreally2783
      @ethanreally2783 8 месяцев назад

      Just like in real life!

  • @MissValentina125
    @MissValentina125 2 года назад +164

    I'm surprised that Businessman went to jail just once this playthrough! And not even canonically in the end!

  • @mayamarie3367
    @mayamarie3367 2 года назад +301

    Lovers:5 Murders:1
    Wow, Kevin really held himself back, but it looks like Kevin just attracts chaos.

    • @boywonder915
      @boywonder915 2 года назад +10

      My personal favorite part of the video is when he made the screen blurry bc I wasn't wearing my glasses and then put them on when the screen was clear again. Just a coincidence that makes videos better

  • @Wacdonaldnoneyt
    @Wacdonaldnoneyt 2 года назад +85

    “Mother I assure you my eyesight is fine I’m just stupid” -Kevin

  • @owenbridgers
    @owenbridgers 2 года назад +89

    I love when Kevin actually succeeds! My least favorite parts is when he runs them into the ground when he’s going great

  • @jazzpancake1167
    @jazzpancake1167 2 года назад +109

    I was thinking, “Maybe this time he won’t go to prison…” and the the sunglasses went missing and I just knew.

  • @TheKingOfRooks
    @TheKingOfRooks 2 года назад +15

    I became a major Brewery Tycoon with 250 locations and thousands of employees, ended up with a business value of well over 100 mil. Honestly this is my favorite update they've done so far, feels really satisfying and in-depth. Almost makes the game into a strategy game.

  • @TheKingOfRooks
    @TheKingOfRooks 2 года назад +40

    Holy shit Kevin instantly losing 100 mil upon being hired as a CEO had me dying laughing harder than anything in a while

  • @yourpsychicfriendfredbear
    @yourpsychicfriendfredbear 2 года назад +28

    The amount of times he’s made characters be a pornography historian in this, he obviously has a soft spot for the job

  • @yourlocaljoyandhappiness8461
    @yourlocaljoyandhappiness8461 2 года назад +338

    Game: "What does this road sign mean?"
    Kevin: "TeTrIs RoAd"
    Why am I surprised

    • @PiedmontPerkYT
      @PiedmontPerkYT 2 года назад +14

      Well skinny cars only wasn’t an option

    • @UtopssAKAPJ
      @UtopssAKAPJ 2 года назад +1

      I was waiting for a dumb answer it's the Kevin way 🤣

    • @alexzachmeier5059
      @alexzachmeier5059 2 года назад +2

      You're surprised?

  • @chilidog2469
    @chilidog2469 Год назад +12

    I like that Kevin called his shoes “Shits” because now if someone stole from him he can say “someone broke into my shop and took some shits”

  • @krazyxki
    @krazyxki 2 года назад +139

    Kevin should definitely be a beta tester for this game since his choices are always erratic and unpredictable 😂 Really putting the game's programming to work trying to compute outcomes for this maniac.

  • @batarang06
    @batarang06 2 года назад +57

    Kevin: Military Strategist, Dear Leader, Most Dateable, Best Businessman.

    • @springwater6693
      @springwater6693 2 года назад +3

      also (briefly) successful politician, great emperor, etc. the only person to hold more professions is barbie

    • @boreragnarok4798
      @boreragnarok4798 2 года назад +1

      @@springwater6693 and best girl

  • @maxb2242
    @maxb2242 2 года назад +19

    "There goes my dream of owning an adult toy shop called Get Fecked" LMAO

  • @inshan3st3r
    @inshan3st3r 2 года назад +53

    I like how his wife uno-reversed taking the money. You need one business to fail after an initial sucess to be a business tycoon just like real life.

    • @vernstern6364
      @vernstern6364 3 месяца назад

      I think this guys name is Shane, just a hunch

  • @Haliceph
    @Haliceph 2 года назад +37

    Kevin's tradition of being a serial gold digger in any Bitlife playthrough always makes my day

  • @mandapanda666
    @mandapanda666 2 года назад +19

    Ah, nothing better than a bottle of Guinness and watch Kevin cause chaos in a video game.

  • @kiwigamer4671
    @kiwigamer4671 Год назад +12

    I would absolutely buy this man’s autobiography. His life was buckwild.

  • @theportalsword
    @theportalsword 2 года назад +17

    bit life: makes business update
    kevin: you know im something of a business man myself

  • @kaydndraper1054
    @kaydndraper1054 2 года назад +8

    Kevin is making longer content and I am here for it. I cannot get enough of Kevin so the longer the video the better

  • @JoJioArkhamCityEdition
    @JoJioArkhamCityEdition 2 года назад +254

    I think we all agree than Kevin videos should last 30 minutes or more

    • @TheUltimateRare
      @TheUltimateRare 2 года назад +22

      as long as it's goofy, the sims or Kevin being a horrible person (in a game, not a real thing) then yes. sign me up

    • @Liltinasmile
      @Liltinasmile 2 года назад

      @@TheUltimateRare nah I wanna see just half an hour of kevin walking down the street kidnapping random people, possibly forcing them to paint and worship him

  • @thedeadlyjoke8233
    @thedeadlyjoke8233 2 года назад +31

    Considering the previous chain with R Us in their name went bankrupt , the foot store not working out kind of made sense 😂😅

  • @lemonbrosinc.3514
    @lemonbrosinc.3514 2 года назад +101

    This man's life is an accurate representation of the stock market

    • @Metzli
      @Metzli 2 года назад +9

      This whole video was a wild ride of "stonks" followed by "not stonks" xD

    • @lemonbrosinc.3514
      @lemonbrosinc.3514 2 года назад +2

      @@Metzli yep

    • @vernstern6364
      @vernstern6364 3 месяца назад

      Yes

  • @Ellisepha
    @Ellisepha 2 года назад +26

    Kevin is very well known for how he handles his enimes.

  • @HopePapernacky
    @HopePapernacky 9 месяцев назад +8

    BitLife fuckin sucks. I got over 100 cats trying to get the "cat lady" banner, and I got the "scandalous" banner for being in prison ONCE

  • @Hepheat75
    @Hepheat75 2 года назад +26

    Kevin makes games like this look so much fun.

  • @ramonestefano
    @ramonestefano 2 года назад +7

    This is a very welcome upload in the middle of my CallmeKevin Bitlife binge.

  • @duuufeplayz4507
    @duuufeplayz4507 2 года назад +21

    Kevin’s business can only go so well 😂

  • @AntonyLoves
    @AntonyLoves 2 года назад +11

    Simply hearing “hey friends!” at the beginning of each of your videos gives me a good hit of serotonin. Thanks Kevin- thanks friend!

  • @alicatal1969
    @alicatal1969 8 месяцев назад +4

    15:56 Bro is just transformed from Charles Boyle to Walter White (Heisenberg)

  • @ElvenXolia
    @ElvenXolia 2 года назад +8

    I love how Kevin always hires a hit man every time he plays. I feel like it would be a challenge for him to not to hurt someone on purpose

  • @ItsPinkay
    @ItsPinkay 2 года назад +20

    I am shocked he didn't immediately hit the casino after winning that 10M

    • @lucystoner
      @lucystoner 2 года назад +1

      That's called character growth.

  • @anaarsovska970
    @anaarsovska970 2 года назад +4

    I love that the food truck business was named "Mothertruckers", because my friend and I also came up with it at the beginning of college and proceeded to call everyone that even remotely annoyed us that as a joke whenever we talked about them. Brilliant comedic minds think alike, I guess. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @leahbobeaa
    @leahbobeaa 2 года назад +6

    I love the fact that all roads lead to murder whenever Kevin plays Bitlife

  • @kroveris
    @kroveris 2 года назад +25

    I am expecting expert business tips, Kevin. I know you won't disappoint

  • @zombifiedpariah7392
    @zombifiedpariah7392 2 года назад +3

    Kevin's Bitlife series gets better and better with every entry. Every single video is bigger and more chaotic than the last 😂🤣

  • @seidimeow
    @seidimeow 2 года назад +16

    that is _literally_ my favorite OneDrive memory of you in the office ✨
    kev is peak business man performance Ltd.

  • @sydneyikisatshi840
    @sydneyikisatshi840 2 года назад +3

    I feel like no body really talks about this anymore, but thanks for having subtitles on the video, it really helps with hearing issues :)

  • @gustavofrisk
    @gustavofrisk 2 года назад +3

    10:24 "Bill is telling betsy, who hates this place, how great i am". So basically they're spongebob and squidward?

  • @hopelesswatermelon8543
    @hopelesswatermelon8543 2 года назад +5

    This is one of the most chaotic Bitlife videos Kevin has ever done, and that's saying something

  • @cursed8563
    @cursed8563 2 года назад +9

    Kevin never fails to entertain me with his bitlife videos

  • @PutRandomNameHere
    @PutRandomNameHere 2 года назад +2

    "Yeah that's fine!" from the FBI knocked a laugh out of me in the middle of a breakdown, thanks lol

  • @humlegard-gaming
    @humlegard-gaming 2 года назад +5

    Kevin's bitlife videos are always so fun to watch, keep up the good work!

  • @capybara5073
    @capybara5073 3 месяца назад +1

    Fun fact: when Kevin says he was a businessman he isn’t lying, in around 2015 he was running a small franchise of clothing business, so he was actually a businessman in real life at somepoint.

  • @itsjustkingy
    @itsjustkingy Год назад +4

    kevin really went from selling food in a truck to becoming walter white

  • @Giwa34
    @Giwa34 2 года назад +6

    Kev playing Bitlife again
    I’m so happy

  • @VanWolf
    @VanWolf 2 года назад +5

    How the hell is possible that Kevin out of all people figured out how to make the business update work so soon? Kevin is truly a business genius

  • @adrianalprin5752
    @adrianalprin5752 2 года назад +9

    I just started the video and wondered "hmmm let's see how long before Kevin goes to jail" and I wasn't dissapointed 💀

  • @Dr.Jiggles
    @Dr.Jiggles 2 года назад +9

    0:01 I love that every now and then Kevo will just throw in a random Tony Hawk Pro Skater special sound effect for ✨️f l a v o r✨️

  • @sm00thcaramel
    @sm00thcaramel 2 года назад +1

    that’s JUAN less thing i have to worry about.. 21:18 underrated bit ;)

  • @cheeseisherelive
    @cheeseisherelive 2 года назад +19

    I was legit thinking “man, I hope Kevin plays bitlife again soon.” Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @SevenEllen
    @SevenEllen 2 года назад +3

    6:00 Actually, £20,000 is how much the average wedding in the UK cost. Mine cost £18,000, but it was shared between myself, my then fiance, and my parents. During the time, I worked overtime to prevent my savings going down, and it's worked out nicely. We're happily married. ^_^

  • @rythkaruvah87377
    @rythkaruvah87377 2 года назад +3

    Whenever Kevin returns to Bitlife, I feel like he should try to be a serial killer doctor. Then he can be both successful AND be his true self.

  • @zoeythewhitelioness
    @zoeythewhitelioness 2 года назад +2

    Kevin playing Bitlife is such a glorious trainwreck I love it!

  • @roydroll7931
    @roydroll7931 2 года назад +6

    Anyone else recognize the music from Tom Nook’s store in Animal Crossing?

  • @ZNEO3NZ
    @ZNEO3NZ 2 года назад +2

    A mobile adult toy shop truck sounds like a million dollar idea.

  • @wumbology6072
    @wumbology6072 2 года назад +5

    Perfect timing! I get Kevin’s business tactics during my break at work! Time to go on Dragon’s Den, or Shark tank

  • @cyborgjellyfish-
    @cyborgjellyfish- 2 года назад +1

    So... Selling someone else's home for 1.9M, opening a business, bonusing your way through the consequences, and selling the company...
    That plan actually made you 4M profit? The numbers don't lie. Irrefutable proof that Kevin is a financial genius!

  • @TheCronq
    @TheCronq 2 года назад +4

    I love it the bitlife videos, you totally destroy everything and it's hilarious

  • @TheJStale
    @TheJStale Год назад +1

    "My Mother Has Hemorrhoids And My Fame Is Dropping" kind of sounds like the title of a song Fall Out Boy would release in the mid-2000s.

  • @RedDragon-117
    @RedDragon-117 Год назад +4

    Everytime I watch these old life-sim game videos not gonna lie, they remind me of 90 day fiance or something LMAO 🤣😂

  • @mariams3879
    @mariams3879 11 месяцев назад +1

    I actually laughed out loud when he sent that company into debt

  • @heyitsjustaz
    @heyitsjustaz 2 года назад +10

    So if Krystal Ltd shoulda been a crystal business, is Kevin gonna start a business business
    we're in the business... of business

  • @itshenlo
    @itshenlo 2 года назад +4

    Kevin joining the army just to get money on the side and then getting discharged in one year just proves how much of a military genius Kevin truly is

  • @martijnklaassen3536
    @martijnklaassen3536 2 года назад +7

    Kevin: lets start a life
    65 seconds later
    Depression
    Thats Kevin alright

  • @keeganronan5845
    @keeganronan5845 2 года назад +2

    Came back to your channel today; laughed more than I have in a while. I really like your content Kevin!

  • @heyitsjustaz
    @heyitsjustaz 2 года назад +3

    "Catch up! Just do it! It's just that easy!"
    Kevin you soundin an awful lot like my dad

  • @MegaCatGirl13
    @MegaCatGirl13 2 года назад +2

    I almost spat out my water at three different points in this video, GJ Kevin lmao

  • @jaydenanstine5869
    @jaydenanstine5869 2 года назад +3

    Watching Kevin play BitLife always makes me want to play they should really sponsor him

  • @PilllCosby
    @PilllCosby 2 года назад +1

    This is your best video in a while dude

  • @ichshi
    @ichshi 2 года назад +7

    All right Kevin, you're MY enemy now

  • @xxsniperkittykatxx
    @xxsniperkittykatxx Год назад +2

    Should have named the coffee ship "Grounds for Divorce"

  • @christaylor402
    @christaylor402 2 года назад +2

    Watching Kevin refuse to increase the cost of his McBlunt was mildly infuriating

  • @Wacdonaldnoneyt
    @Wacdonaldnoneyt 2 года назад +1

    “They stolen my name oh well limited is a better last name because it’s limited” -Kevin

  • @gobo5
    @gobo5 2 года назад +4

    A weirdly accurate representation of most business men

  • @vernstern6364
    @vernstern6364 3 месяца назад +1

    I want to 100% BitLife, Kevin has helped with keeping my goal

  • @jullo12
    @jullo12 2 года назад +6

    I’m watching this in hopes of learning more things about this update… but then I remember that this is Kevin’s Video

  • @GremAutistic
    @GremAutistic 5 месяцев назад +1

    0:58 I took off my glasses when it became clearer and I thought I was my glasses

  • @PK5O
    @PK5O 2 года назад +5

    Kevin the economical genius

  • @fabianatrindade56
    @fabianatrindade56 2 года назад

    0:58 My eyesight sucks and that joke with the blurred screen LITERALLY scared me to death for a second! 🤣

  • @seidimeow
    @seidimeow 2 года назад +9

    remember where we parked

  • @youngbloodedxp1710
    @youngbloodedxp1710 2 года назад +1

    Kevin, running a weed shop: "Make more."
    Us potheads: "Do it again."

  • @tekjunkee
    @tekjunkee 2 года назад +3

    Kevin: my eyesight is fine I’m just stupid.
    1 second later and he’s wearing glasses

  • @gundar-x1p
    @gundar-x1p Год назад +2

    The food truck buisness was basically the Crusty Crab.
    Kevin, the boss obsessed with money.
    Betsy, hates her job.
    Bill, lovesa their job and theitr boss.

  • @warlordofbritannia
    @warlordofbritannia 2 года назад +3

    Kevin’s Bitlife characters usually become thieves and/or murderers out of desperate spite, it makes sense he’d eventually make a professional one

  • @pedrostormrage
    @pedrostormrage 2 года назад +1

    1:37 "There goes my dream of owning an adult toy shop called 'Get Fecked' " Please don't give up, that's a beautiful (and witty) goal 🧑🧸🛍☘
    20:13 " 'Go feck yourself' is the name" The name changed a bit, but it still has the same soul 👍

  • @lilol8761
    @lilol8761 Месяц назад +4

    0:15 november 4th is my birthday too!!

    • @Kevin-ff2yd
      @Kevin-ff2yd Месяц назад

      im going to remember this and tell you happy birthday, never delete this comment

    • @lilol8761
      @lilol8761 Месяц назад

      @@Kevin-ff2yd thank you!!

    • @Evren_
      @Evren_ Месяц назад

      i am going to keep this tab open until november 4th and do nothing on it, just so i can remember to tell you happy birthday

    • @Evren_
      @Evren_ 24 дня назад +1

      not sure about your timezone, but happy birthday!

    • @Kevin-ff2yd
      @Kevin-ff2yd 23 дня назад +2

      @@lilol8761 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, i hope you have so many more years left and i hope you’re able to cartwheel when you’re 77

  • @TheJackedOLantern
    @TheJackedOLantern 2 года назад +1

    Today I learned that Ltd. meant limited... For some reason I never questioned what that meant in all these years of existing. I thought it was just some fancy fluff letters companies add to their name to sound more legit or something.