I just realized 4 weeks ago at 43 yo after a life of denial and a few months of questioning. My life is destroyed, it is consuming my every waking hours. I have so many example of things I did that I didn't realised were not cis. I won't make a list here because I would fill 2 pages. But I just didn't had a clue until everything fell apart.
I have thought about how life would be different if I had learned more about myself earlier on in my life and than I think about how I would not be where I’m at today if I didn’t have all the experiences I got prior to transition. I know I would not have done a lot of the things that I did before and most of those experiences gave me the confidence I needed to take the the first steps to come out. I will say there was a time that my identity also took up all my waking hours but as I got more comfortable with myself the less I think about it. I wish you luck with your journey!!❤
I'm an artist, I'm sensitive, I tend to shed a tear very easily, I once tried secretly on my mom's clothes when I was a kid, I have had failed relationships with women, I'm not super strong, I have not had the best outcome whenever I got into a fight, I used to get upset when other men made fun of me wearing my hair long... But you know what, I understand that despite the stereotypes and the pressure society puts on people, I'm still a man, I might not be the strongest or most masculine man around, but I'm a man and nothing can change that, nor there's any need to try to. I have no idea how upsetting it must be to have been convinced that nature made a huge mistake and to have that perpetual internal conflict inside your brain every second in front of the mirror, the mind is very complex but it definitely is not stupid. Acting according to nature is something stoic philosophers would advice, and I think is essential in order to live a fulfilling life. And for the relationships that didn't go south, I'm absolutely positive they also knew they were with a man.
Thank you for the comment. I really want this channel to show anyone and everyone that we can all connect on shared experiences and still be different people. We can embrace our differences and learn from our shared experiences!
I just realized 4 weeks ago at 43 yo after a life of denial and a few months of questioning. My life is destroyed, it is consuming my every waking hours. I have so many example of things I did that I didn't realised were not cis. I won't make a list here because I would fill 2 pages. But I just didn't had a clue until everything fell apart.
I have thought about how life would be different if I had learned more about myself earlier on in my life and than I think about how I would not be where I’m at today if I didn’t have all the experiences I got prior to transition. I know I would not have done a lot of the things that I did before and most of those experiences gave me the confidence I needed to take the the first steps to come out. I will say there was a time that my identity also took up all my waking hours but as I got more comfortable with myself the less I think about it. I wish you luck with your journey!!❤
I'm an artist, I'm sensitive, I tend to shed a tear very easily, I once tried secretly on my mom's clothes when I was a kid, I have had failed relationships with women, I'm not super strong, I have not had the best outcome whenever I got into a fight, I used to get upset when other men made fun of me wearing my hair long... But you know what, I understand that despite the stereotypes and the pressure society puts on people, I'm still a man, I might not be the strongest or most masculine man around, but I'm a man and nothing can change that, nor there's any need to try to. I have no idea how upsetting it must be to have been convinced that nature made a huge mistake and to have that perpetual internal conflict inside your brain every second in front of the mirror, the mind is very complex but it definitely is not stupid. Acting according to nature is something stoic philosophers would advice, and I think is essential in order to live a fulfilling life. And for the relationships that didn't go south, I'm absolutely positive they also knew they were with a man.
Thank you for the comment. I really want this channel to show anyone and everyone that we can all connect on shared experiences and still be different people. We can embrace our differences and learn from our shared experiences!