I Don't Trust Him, Should We Break Up?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 18 фев 2016
- ►► Confused about what to text him? Just copy and paste any of these 9 texts from dating expert Matthew Hussey --- bit.ly/1EpQNbm
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my RUclips channel now.
I post new advice videos for you every Friday and Sunday.
***
You’ve turned into a jealous person.
You’ve started wondering about texts on his phone. More than one time he’s given you reason to doubt whether he’s telling the truth and now you’re always questioning him and playing detective.
But…you also love him and you’re great together.
Should you break up just to be safe? In this week’s episode of LOVELife we tackle the ultimate dilemma: Can you stay in a relationship where there isn’t 100% trust, or should you stay and give him the benefit of the doubt?
***
Links at the End:
Embarrassing Sex: • What Gets A Guy Sexual...
There Isn't a Spark: • I Don’t Feel That “Spa...
Get the Man of your Dreams: www.howtogettheguy.com
***
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey
► FREE DOWNLOAD: “9 Texts to Get Any Man” → bit.ly/1EpQNbm
► FREE DOWNLOAD: “5 Complements to Get Him Addicted to You” →ter.li/tdxzcy 
Кино
Trust is the key to a happy relationship.My general relationship rule is: if they make you sad more times than they make you happy - then leave.
+pinkunicornglitter very succinct...sadly, many stay for fleshy reasons, constantly barking about the same thing
+SParkApCider Thanks. You're right, the problem is emotions are often more powerful than logic or reason.
Thank you!!!🕊️
Totally agree...and don't stay for so long letting him breaks your heart over and over again. Love you first and think how valuable and worthy you are.
I’m ready to leave soon because I’m more happy away from him then with him
Looking for reasons to leave is a reason to leave
Kate Louisse so true.
Actually no. Sometimes it's a part of growing up, doubt about everything.
I'd rather figure out how to make things work
Kate Louisee
OR...Forget all the reason why it wont work and believe the one reason why it will❤
You make me cry in this new year night.
"don't rely on him to be the grown up, be the grown up for both of you"
golden words.
It is good advice, however, I wish men were given this same advice... the onus ALWAYS seems to fall on the woman. *sigh*
Uh....why would anyone want to date a child?
excellent question @@amaristhecrow7084
I spent 8.5yrs with a lair, I could not sleep for years the day he walked out the door I slept like a baby and I still am 6 months later :) xxx
Catherine Fleming-Robertson. I'm happy for you. That's says alot about who he was as a person. My best friend is going through the same thing right now but it's only been a year but he's lying and hurting her almost every week and he comes running to me and my friend for help and we help but we aren't helping him anymore and we both think she should end it
May god keep you happy always and hopefully you get a great man in future!!!
It’s the same for me. I cannot sleep
My favorite moment in the Sex and the City show was, when Samatha didn't trust her boyfriend Richard, after he cheated on him once. She got crazy and wasn't herself, and when she had enough she only said "I love you. But I love myself more."
I think this is a very important message for everyone, who has long issues in ther relathionships - that we deserve the best.
Petra Gabriella Gazsó think you I forgot about that episode and I plan on rewatching it later.
I love that too. The same thing in the movie when the blonde one I forgot his name was too busy for her she broke up with him so she could be herself again. That helped me with relationships. I Check in with myself and gauge if I’m genuinely happy or not. If not 👋🏼 see ya later bye
I love this .. I just broke up with my boyfriend for this reason .. I told him I don’t want to be that girl that has to check on you all the time because that isn’t who I am or my ideal relationship and I can’t trust him at all .. so that’s a deal breaker for me
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
Whatsapp him
@@lucyclark3920 .+2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾
IF.. he hasn't given you evidence of why you should be constantly checking up on him, then it's your insecurities that are manifesting your trust issues!!!
Agree. Mine gave me reasons.
Man... I'm about to break up with my boyfriend, the sad part is that I really like this guy... I never felt anything like this for anyone else but he won't admit to his mistakes. He has given me reasons not to trust him, but I always make excuses for his behavior and that is just making it everything worse for me. And is just like you said I don't feel good with the person that I am becoming, is not right and its not me. Thank you so much, is a hard thing to do but I'm going to do it anyway.
updateee
Thank you for posting this. It's great to not feel alone.
How is it goin with u now
Litterally the EXACT thing I'm dealing with and going to do 😅 I have been losing sleep and slowly going crazy for much too long. ❤
Going through this now. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to do it nicely. I feel crazy and I’ve never had this trust issue before. He has lied and I found out about it later. Hiding his phone changing passwords. I just can’t be with someone like that.
"Asking the same question whether you're right for each other. It's typically not a good sign. If it's the right person you'll know. There's a different sense of certainty."
Never trust a guy who texts other women! End game right there. He's not willing to commit run away from this guy. I guarantee there's a lot of women he's talking to casually to fluff his ego and have as a back up. I have been there my ex was a narcissist! He'd text other women I wasn't proud to follow my instincts to follow him in text. It changed me I was never the type to distrust. Until him. Never be second to anyone, I gave him this same speech he gave in this video. I gave him his space only to have him betray that trust, always trust your gut ladies and gents
What if they're just friends ?
I agree Stephanie. Narcs can’t be trusted and we end up learning the hard way. They are master manipulators and tell you what you want to hear.
This made my heart ache bc I know it's something I need to do. Sucks so much how you can't convince someone to be honest with you, when they don't want to be.
I'm sorry.
🥺
I feel the same way. It’s frustrating because we have no control over how someone else acts.
Or when they lie about a version of a story so much that it’s like well wtf is true then?
How you feeling now?
sadly in this world u cant trust anyone 100%
so true. You just can’t. Unless you are dumb enough to
So so true
So spot on. I was in a relationship with a guy that when I was at his home I found a receipt for something a women bought him. i checked his phone to find out he was talking to other women. this bothered me so because I hadnt been a priority. he used his job alot to make excuses for not seeing me often. when i saw those text i knew i coudnt do it anymore. he didnt value me anyway. please love yourself and see the signs. your gut is the best guide.
Heart Break Hotel Inc the damn phone!!Omg it can be dangerous
Heart Break Hotel Inc my gut has been ignored that idk if it even works anymore or if its just me
with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I thank you Matthew, from the bottom of my heart. these are the words I need to create my own statement. After 7 years of lies and relapse, I can't take it anymore!
"I know I can't trust the way I want to in this realtionship. let's not torture each other anymore. I don't want to torture you because you feel like you're married to a detective and I don't want to continue being tortured because you give me reasons not to trust you."
I think I'm going to need a counselor or other paid mediator involved because we still need to work together for the sake of our child, but I cannot let our child be damaged by his father's addiction
Time to let go and move on
I wish women would stop silencing their intuition. It's ugly. Women need to pick up a history book about the traditional etiquette of women and how they acquiesce in a relationship. You will never get what you want by tolerating insolent behavior. Still amazed at the contrast of this caller, hanging on to a lying douche (why?) while the previous caller was too quick to ditch a decent guy in search of one with 'spark'. Be self-reflective. Decide what is important. No one wants a lying douche bag, so why tolerate it? He did not start being a douche recently. He's been a liar for a while. He's pushed the limits because he knows you tolerate it. He has to do the work to build the trust back by not doing the behavior that he agreed to not do. Why do people argue over the bs they've already stated annoys them? Do you really need someone to advise you on your level of self-respect, your worth? Tell people what you require, show them, then tell them what you told them and show them...then exit if you do not get the response you desire. Stop holding on to an asshole waiting for him to change.
Preach mama 🙏💗💗
hey, I hope you are still active and can read this. do you have an email? I need advice but don't want to put it out here 😅 .. my Facebook is the same name if that helps
SParkApCider VERY true! i think women WANT to believe what they're feeling is wrong because its not the outcome they/we want.
Bravo!!
SParkApCider you are so right
It's not your faul that you don't trust him. It's his responsibility to make you trust him.
+Arc Kocsog Ok granted I sort of missed why she didn't trust him, but in my opinion it's not just his responsibility. Both people are in a relationship, both have responsibility. Even about trust issues. Before I got with my boyfriend, I slept with a friend of his, but I didn't know they were friends at the time. When he expressed his worries about it happening again I did my part and assured him that I wouldn't if I were in a relationship and that if given the chance I would prove it to him. That was my part, my responsibility, but after that it was all up to him. So I believe it's a two way street...
+JadeyFadeyMCR i totally agree with you. one hand doesn't clap.
haha, this is amazing
Arc Kocsog thank you. Currently in this situation even after 4 years.
typical femenists, women are never responsible for anything jsut men have to do all the work
Wish I had this advice two years ago, because I totally went insane in my poisonous relationship and now I'm scared of trusting guys in general. Been single for a year now, but every time I start to like someone, I pull back because I don't want to get hurt so much again..
Same!
PamelasLas I'm so sorry to hear that. Best of luck to you girl!
+SMJSelena thanks dear! Good luck to you too!
+SMJSelena Same here.
This happened to me too, last year. Don't let fear keep you from searching for what you want in life. Get out there and meet men in spite of the fear. Trust yourself first, then more trustworthy men will show up. If you meet a man that is even the slightest bit untrustworthy, wish him well and move on. Listen to your heart. Keep your boundaries firm. Don't jump into a relationship with the first man that comes along. Take your time, allow yourself to heal, and better men will show up. Always put yourself first!
The thing we forget when in relationships is that the other person is meant to improve your life. You have to learn to compromise so that it's mutually beneficial but the most important thing to think about when deciding whether or not to be in a relationship is if your life is improved by this person being in it. That's not just for dating but friends, jobs, family members and you don't have to permanently remove them for you life just temporarily while they are having a negative effect on you. It's not your responsibility to harm yourself while making others happy.
All I have to say is ---People who have nothing to hide, don't hide anything. Seriously I got nothing to hide. Take my cell anytime. I want the same mentality from my partner 😁😁😁
Waw finally someone who thinks the same like me, you kniw hiw many times l repeat the same sentance to my partner and how many times l tell anytime you wanna cgeck my phone go ahead cuz l dont want and will bever cheat on you cuz its not hard but its a choice l made up until now, l say up until now...l see no reason honestly to be honest all l got back are lies. Am just wondering why.
Same here for sure. I also do not understand the appeal of doing things on the side. I have never felt like talking to other men or looking at them. It is very hard to understand why my partner would. But perhaps even more important is lying and hiding it. Why be with me if I'm not what you want and we don't have trust?
@@tori7022 I hear you. Some need so much validation in addition to their primary relationship and they think this is okay. It doesn’t even have to be sexual but they keep it hidden. It’s disrespectful, immature, and self centered.
5 years wasted. I wish I had made this decision lie one.
Megan 😰😰😰
"don't rely on him to be the grown up.."
this resonates deeply with me. unfortunately.
I really needed this today. I’m in the same situation. I spoke to him like an adult, said we needed some space because I don’t like the woman I’m becoming. I don’t want to be a spy and worry about him all of the time.
He said he doesn’t want to risk losing me forever and suggested couples counseling to get to the bottom of our issues.
I'm happy you found healthy resolution.
Matthew is saying that to be able to be your best self in a relationship you have to be with a partner who doesn't do things that make you feel that you are not able to be the best you you can be. Instead you begin to become someone who you don't want to be as a result of responding to what they are doing. In this case this woman was not being her truest most loving self in her relationship because she was with a guy who was showing reasons why he could not be 100% trustworthy. I'm not sure if that helps. Maybe it's as clear as mud. Matthew says it so much better.
Agreed 💯
Girl stand up for yourself. He cheated (or tried to cheat) on you and somehow he make you believe that it's your fault .
Been there my ex didn't make time for me, makes no plans etc and I started to feel jelous. And somehow I fantasized of looking messages on his phone. But I didn't look his phone ever. When we fought he always thinks I am just loser jealous girl.
I deserve to be with a man who is my teammate and creates time and space for me I don't deserve a wishy washy beta guy.
Agree, she needs to increase her self-confidence and find a guy who respects her
Damn! Matthew, you always take a situation that seems so complicated and break it down so simply. I'm always blown away by your eloquence and clarity, everything seems to make so much more sense after hearing your advice!
Literal
I promise to never let a man make me feel like trash. My next relationship will be based on trust. I will never ignore red flags ever again.
No one really deserves to be cheated upon and I believe smartness is important in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my cheating Narcissist husband through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his Text messages, Whats-app, Facebook, Messenger, Kik, Snap-chat, Instagram, Skype, Twitter, Email and Social media chat, i was able to read both his new and deleted messages without touching his mobile . I was hurt when i read conversation of my husband always sex chatting with an other lady , i felt so broken, I’m here in California , USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable contact him on his mobile phone, text,whats-app +19087998357. I hope you find peace just like me after I found out about his doings
This was my relationship exactly. I broke up last week and have not felt this good in a long time.
Can you please do a video on how to deal with an immature boyfriend who can’t quite seem to deal with issues and just runs off instead of fixing the issue/problem
YES! please!
Is that immaturity or more like some type of trauma? I wonder...
Never trust someone people only hurt you
syafiatul khusnah u habe to be willing ro trust if it is earned. Not trusting is how u run off good people. My ex said that ans ended messing things up with us. His loss bc he didn't want to trust. Then he complains he can't find love. Trust when it is deserved.
Clearly and perfectly stated. Matthew you're awesome!
You're seriously an absolute prodigy in authentic communication for relationships
How does Matt come up with such good advice on the spot? He's so good at asking questions to figure out what's actually going on even when the caller doesn't fully understand what she's going through. He makes sense of it all and then finds answers!!
Trust is the foundation of a safe healthy relationship.
I think trust is very important in a relationship. Especially since they've been together for 3 years! They shouldn't have trust problems.
this is exactly what i needed, i became the grown up matthew, thank you for that. im so glad for this video , made things in my head n heart so clear. helped me get out of my relationship which was in an exact position like this. CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH MATT, FOR EVERYTHING YOUVE HELPED ME THROUGH TILL NOW.
Some of Matthew's BEST work. Loved this.
You have literally the best relationship advice I have ever seen
I come here to hear Matthew's voice and advice, it relaxes me. Thank you Matthew ❤️
you are such a nice and smart person in relationship issues may God bless u matthew
Ive never came across better content that not only helps woman in dating world, but teaches us to grow into the best version of ourselves and gives us the knowledge and tools to maintain our value
Matthew, you give people so much , because your advice is universal, for many women who struggle with jealousy and uncertainty. We all loose ourselved from time to time, and what is worse, we explain our behaviour , and we blame our partners for being sneeky and checking the phone etc. But the truth lies in our complexes and lack of trust, which sometimes has nothing to do with the current partner.... Please keep doing what your doing.
I cried watching this thank you it's exactly what I needed to hear..
Damn. This just opened my eyes. Like a lot. I never subscribed so fast in my life
wow this was so relatable to a situation I'm in. Great advice, really made me think. have always been a fan of these videos, but this one takes the cake!
How come I just discovered your video, Matthew!? I just finished a relationship that contains distrust. The breakup took me a great effort to move on because I just couldn't figure out what really went wrong. Our situation was similar to the lady in the video. I was thrilled when you mentioned "evidence". I just realized the "evidence" no needs to be a direct evidence that caught him having someting with other females, but the evidence that he can't show the respect to the relationship by keeping a boundary with other females. He kept saying "If you love me, you got to trust me 100%." or "I am doing nothing wrong. We are just friends. Why you just can't trust me?" I was like...yeah, he is probably right, and I am wrong since I don't find any evidence anyway. I blamed on myself being so skeptical and eventually hated myself looking like crazy, needy and clingy.
I am glad that it's all over now. I used to hate him after the breakup, but now I choose to forgive him and let go. It's a lesson in life, I can't be more clear than ever about knowing what kind of man I should look for in the future. Thanks for making this video.
Wow! It was such an awe-inspiring advice from Matthew to a woman who asked for an advice about trust issues. I hope she can get some insight of what Matthew told her.
I was in this exact situation recently.. The whole phase of finding out what we feel and what we need and want to change, took about 6 months. In the last weeks of it we talked, took a few days apart, came back and talked again. We took our time to articulate best possible how we really feel right at that time and what we need to see change. In the end the only hopeful sign was that he could see his behaviour through my eyes and didn't like some of it at all. After that I nagociated my terms clearly with him and we're testing it again. It might be anything but easy. We need to give each other space to try new patterns of behaviour and chances for making mistakes. At the same time observing carefully inside and outside, if there's is any real improvement.. Through this process I came across Matthew's channel and it helped me immensely. Thank you so much for that!!
I didn’t trust mine because of his lies and then he secretly hid from me he was talking to an old ex girlfriend. He lied to me about what this was all about. Honesty is a core value for me. I left him.
I just love this video and it is so relevant right now. Thank you Matthew! Your deconstructed it so well and your suggestions for a conversation are brilliant. Why people waste each other's time when they want different things in life?
Wow, Matt. You are absolutely amazing. I've been up all night watching more than a few or your videos and this one really hit home for me. I am currently going through something similar in my relationship and now I finally know how to approach it, which I didn't know 8:51 minutes ago. Thank you so much! I'm looking forward to more videos! 😊
This is exactly wat happened to me n i broke up with my bf 3 days ago! untill i saw this video i thought i was wrong n just being paranoid but i understood that he wasn't making it easy for me to trust him . Matthew ! im so thankful for u n all the information u share .
U get back already?
Thank you soo much,I guess this is the push I needed,writing this with tears in my eyes
THANK YOU MATTEW. I NEEDED THIS ADVISE SO MUCH TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE
Besides your very good/great advice. Very logical and dare I say it, probably the key or code to a perfect relationship (given the right person and circumstances) you are so caring and very sweet to all your callers. It is really lovely (I feel the vibe of an awesome Mum or sister in your younger years).
I just blocked a guy on Sunday because he was always talking about getting married, but he failed several times to keep his word to visit me, and he's asked me for money and about my finances. I went to the hospital for spinal injections, he called and I told him about it, and the next day he didn't remember I'd been to the hospital. Just too many inconsistencies destroyed any of the initial trust I had in him.
tosca donna Girl, in ur face disrespect abd red flags. Kick him to he curb. I can't believe how straight bluntly rude people can do...
Red flags all over
You can do better
I just did this. I let my bf go because I felt I couldn't trust him. I knew it would be toxic to myself and him. And for that I set him free. It's in God's hands if we're meant to reconcile and rebuild a stronger trustworthy foundation.
my bf keeps adding random women on his facebook. i told him i am leaving him and i am done!
Did you leave him?
Uhg mine did that too! But as soon when i got back home after spending 3 months with him in the US he was done with and told me he had deleted his fb.. For some reason i think he has some other platform now that i don't know of yet..
ME TOO
i don't usually comment on anything here on youtube but i have to say this is exactly what i needed to hear right now since i'm going through something very similar and i didn't know what to do anymore thank you Matt i wanted you to know how much your videos have helped me xx
You nailed it Matthew, great advice! xo
Selfish men who want you no matter what won't be strong enough to be an adult in that conversation. They just lie and pretend they're in it even they're not... So... I love you Matt, but selfish people are selfish. Liars will lie.
Thank you Mattew Hussey for the great advices! 😊
I’m so happy you addressed this !
I never met someone in my life that gets me SO right Matt I love you
This is such a great video I didn’t realize how much I hated being the way I was when I don’t trust my partner.
Absolutely spot on. Just what I needed to hear.
TRUST IS THE FOUNDATION OF A RELATIONSHIP
Great video. Awesome advice that helps to let go in a very proper manner.
If you can't trust that person there is no reason for you to hold on to your relationship because it will only create conflict for both of you. You should weigh properly if your trust issues are enough risking your love for someone.
I went thru this very thing. It is terribly difficult.
Matthew, I ❤️ you
Why I didn’t find this video earlier , I lost 2 years of my life spending time with someone who’s cheating on me , often, and yes at the beginning I was also a detective, later - I didn’t wanted to know what is he doing, ...but deeply in the heart you already know what’s happen, so this is not healthy... in the end I am coming to the same thoughts , but after so much pain 😔
Thank you Matthew
Great video! Great advice!Don't trust him? Find someone you can. There are around 3,000,000,000 men. Got to break up with that man. He talked to a girl.
Why are you so awesome, Matthew Hussey!!!!
You're the master of words, Mat!
Thank you Matthew. I just did what you said and we broke up. He agreed for us to go separate ways instead of trying to get me thru this and be the person who I can trust completely.
It's really sad but I think it's for the best of us.. I hope he can find his true soulmate and be happy..
i wondered if your ex bf is from egypt
Complete sense. There are loads of things I need in a relationship, loads of likes and boundaries. The number one thing for me is that I trust the person, then I hope he is funny, intelligent, caring, polite, respectful of our relationship and fun. But trust is number one. And being the detective is really deflating and really sad.
Exactly what I needed to hear right now. I will do this tonight.
Thats what I needed... Im leaving my bf
Thank you Matthew. I really needed this!
AMAZING video! Thank you Matthew!
I've said the exact same things like yest whatever Matthew suggested in the end. Proud moment 👸🏻
I have had exactly the same situation and didn't know what to do, that video helped me a lot. Now I know what I should do. Thank you 💋😊
Whew, this was a phenomenal video.
I really needed to listen to that!
This is exactly my situation. I know what to do now. Thank you.
The problem is that the guy I was with when I said : it's okay we can go our separate ways, tell me now. He said: give me another chance I can be that guy, and then lied again and again. No more for me. I don't want him anymore. But I think that I'm not at the same stage as the girl calling. But it's nice to hear a similar situation still. I did everything I could. But I'm not going to allow so much misery in my life just to be with someone who is not trustworthy.
Matthew you know your stuff
Lovely! Much need guidance 😊 thankyou matt
Love you ❤️
amazing advice ...I needed this thankyou so much
Where was this message 2 years ago?? This is so true.
I wish I watched this video 2 years ago. You're Amazing . Thank you
Damn .. this was so so so on point. However I know he's right and thats a perfect way to go about it but now I feel worse because I know what happened in my situation and it sucks.
Wow! This video and the comments really hit home with me. Overwhelming to think about a 35 year marriage ending!! 😢
awesome advice Matthew.
WOW. He looks like a combination of Ryan Gosling, Patrick Dempsey, and Liam Neeson.
If you dont want to be objectified then don't objectify another
Tears...gosh..such good advise..
Matt, as always, you are awesome. Really great advise! ^_^
I relate to this so much, thank you for this video :')
I feel like finally i know that i was loved, and i think that i won't be alone anymore. But, idk why he always dissapointing me, i tried to understand but it was too much. I feel like i was happier when i was alone
I really needed this. Thank you! xo
Its been 2 months since i found out my partner has been talking to a girl he told me it's just a friend. Since then it left a scar in my heart whenever. Indeed my partner did change but I'm still scared that it might happen again.. praying and watching Matthew's video helps me a lot to overcome my fear step by step. Thank you so much Matthew ❤
Amazing advice!
You are amazing man!!🙏🏻😍