For me personally, when I was attracted to someone who was emotionally unavailable and/or toxic, it was because I hadn't healed parts of myself. If you want better you have to genuinely believe you're worthy of better 💙
This is for you... It's easier said than done, but guard your heart. Everyone doesn't have the capacity to love us or care genuinely about us at the level we care for them. Respect yourself enough to CHOOSE YOURSELF over the attention, validation, and love from others. You are enough. You are worthy of being truly loved, not just tolerated.
Also, people who have intimacy issues they're not aware of, they usually go for the hard-to-get-person because that means 0% chance of a serious relationship
I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Johnson Paul and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 9years and everything was going on smoothly but February 10’th 2020 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a data but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and Favour in any of her endeavors but at first I was scared I have to give this man a trial because I love Johnson Paul very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this greats spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and caring heart....I am testifying to this great spell caster Dr osekhametalor you are the greatest man in this world and you mean so much to me your are the best spell caster that I have ever hear off In all forum contact this man via this WhatsApp +2349055574944 if you really need to get your problems solve message him now
If you have to ask this question then the answer is "He is ignoring you." I am male and I can say from my experiences when I am into someone I make it happen, you would not feel ignored at all. However as a male I have a differing set of challenges though many are rather similar.
This video is a wake up call for me. I’ve had a crush on this guy for 10 years, he rejected me 3 times and treated me like his spare tyre. I’ve tried to be like him (eg joining leadership programs when I don’t enjoy it). Its been a pathetic 10 years really. This video reminds me of how little self value I have chasing after this guy that wont like me back. Thank you. P/S: i really like your new hairstyle.
Aww... Honestly. Ditch the dude. If someone likes you, they will make their intentions known. If they don't, that's also a good thing. Friend zone them. Friendships are unique in that it can also tell you the answer. It will strengthen or weaken overtime. You can tell a lot about a person by seeing what type of friend they are to other people.
"If they're not available, they must be worth more." One of the most important lessons I learned is that nobody is more special or more valuable than anybody else. Everybody is the same. I learned not to waste my time with people who are unavailable. Best thing you can do for yourself if you come across this kind of person is to tell them to piss off and you're wasting my time. Last time I said that to someone, he didn't take it too well. If they don't take it well, that's your answer right there.
Ofcourse if you say it with such rudeness noone is going to take that well. You can choose to just walk away or if you want to cut them off, do it kindly and with understanding (and not from your place of insecurity) that it's not necessarily their fault they don't fancy you or are unavailable to you.
I literally shed a tear, when you said imagine someone you love and turn this love inwards. Love your videos, honestly, you make my day everytime. Thank you! 🤗😘
No god but Allah Islam way for peace and the real monotheism Search for the truth and right way with honest heart And ask him for the right way for his mercy.
Matthew I have followed your content for many years since way back when I was single and doing it all wrong on the dating scene. I’m now happily married and expecting my first child, and I just want to say your content still holds such value to me. It applies not just to romantic relationships but to work, friendships, family, etc. I appreciate all you do.
I dont believe that you are happily married, sorry. But i see people write on the internet:»im so happy and married omg!!» Just stop it! You just tell us ur happy just to annoy and make single people more depressed! If u are happy and married you should not write on this comment section, it is for single and unhappy people! And you are very very lucky and have a good destiny, because you are married to the one you WANT and are having a baby too!! I can only dream about getting 1 a man i want! 2 no man wants to marry, they only want a relationship without any commitment and they do not even want to live togheter with me! 3 i dont know if i even can get pregnant! No man wants to meet me or hang out even! Dont have anyone to date. Hate being single and unwanted these cold days!! While pregnancy announcement everywhere and happy married love couples. I just dont understand why some women get love and everything from a man and others just gets shit ??
@Romanticide Thanks. I met a guy great on paper but there was no chemistry, I had to end things. I felt guilty because he was super nice and wanted a future with me but I really needed physical attraction.
You are afraid to be alone. Much research has shown that women are willing to endure being in an unhappy relationship rather than being all alone and that's why they fall for the wrong kind of men. They think it's better to date a wrong man than be alone.👍
It is deeper than that, it is a fear of abandonment, it could be attachment issues or the big one, they do not love themselves enough to understand love actually comes from within and not from another person. When you love and respect yourself, you do not accept bad situations, bad relationships, the wrong man
MissUnderstood everyone is you pushed out, is a psychological theory that you get what you are, not what you want... if you don’t want a needy man... don’t be needy Not all men are the same, but any relationship is the whole of 2people in it, so control your emotions and behaviour you’ll get everything you want AND need
After my last breakup, your videos helped put me back on track for confidence and positive thinking. I don’t really need them anymore, I’ve found a wonderful young man who loves me deeply, but I still like to watch to remind me and keep me on track. I feel like your channel is so much more then dating advice. It builds confidence and self love and that’s so important. Thank you again for your amazing content
That respect about thinking of somebody that you love and only accepting the respect they deserve that was probably the most helpful tip about this topic ever thank you
Wow... You just stopped me dead in my tracks... the last statement.. "Think of how you want your children to be treated and the kind of love you feel they deserve and should be shown by someone, then turn that inward." That exact moment was what I think being hit by lightening would be similar too. INSTANT realization, COMPLETE comprehension = shock inducing. Phewft... need a nap now, that was intense. Thank you, great content 👌
I basically ignored my parents and tried to fit in with girls who chase boys. Then I got cheated on and still chased him to later finding out that I had to love myself. Don’t ignore your parents or people who tell you not to chase move on and love yourself trust me there will be someone else and better.
@@weagaspay8724 Everything? As in your whole life, resources and undivided attention. I really think you haven't and shouldn't. Seek professional help. Most people benefit from therapy
I have to admit that the way you speak without patronising your audience and respecting what people are going through really draws me in. I appreciate it greatly. You can tell that you're passionate about helping people and connecting with them. Thanks for continuing to produce videos and I hope your online immersion proves successful. I wish I could afford to join.
Honestly, most online relationship advice is really “Beginner guide to Common Sense” but Hussey is so handsome and has such a soothing voice that I end up watching this videos anyhow.
I love the last part. I was just ghosted after 3yrs and as bad as I want to just go and confront him, I've realized that I have to set an example for my daughter and show her not to chase someone that doesn't value you. I'm still going through my storm but after watching that video it helped me some.
I got help from someone, who helped me fixed my broken relationship and my ex that once left me for 3yrs came back to me and Relationship was restored. I'm sure he can help you too with any problem you are encountering now.
Be the person you want to attract. The people that comes into your life are just a reflection of your subconscious mind. If you want someone who is driven, successful, and passionate, then you must become driven, successful and passionate.
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
Hi Matt!! very good insight yet again!!! love your tips. The more I learn about relationship and especially romantic ones, I realize that 99% percent of the things we do/don't do and say/don't say in a relationship has to do with our self-esteem and how we see ourselves (either as a result of growing up in a certain family/environment or as a result of something that has happened to us at any point that might have left marks). IF we work on our self-esteem and stop expecting other people, outside ourselves, to 'heal' or 'fix' us, we will definitely cure and heal a lot of issues and problems that stem from this issue.
Awww first the gaslighting video and now this. I’m liking this new deeper content. One of your best videos in a while! People do need to appreciate what they have when they have it (someone’s affection) and have higher self esteem! Also for me personally this has been one of my better years and I feel like I’m just getting into gear!
I am older and used to go after a man who was not as interested. You are right Matthew, we assign qualities to these people and put them on a pedestal. As I have gone through life experiences, dating...if someone does not make the effort towards me, it is on to next. I no longer put up with this because I value myself and use common sense. So tired of online dating and all the psychological aspects of it now and games and egos and already married .... it is exhausting. I have my specifications now. Current pictures, consistent messages and phone call prior to meeting.
3:00 "And in pursuit of this person, we allow all manner of bad behavior towards ourselves..." And others. Don't forget the toxicity of all the good guys and nice guys that get ignored or friendzoned due to being codependently obsessed with the wrong guy.
My trick to boost my self esteem is to find RUclips tracks where a guy is waking up or going to sleep talking about how wonderful I am and how much they love me. It reminds me of what I want my future husband to feel and gives me a sense of fulfilment that comes from within. I listen to one upon waking and another just before sleep. My day to day energy is completely different now. Good luck 🤞
I accidentally signed up for another course alongside the course i wanted and Matthews team have just been absolutely amazing and offered a refund for 2 months worth of subscription that i wasn't even aware of (i should check my bank account more often). Such a lovely team and what a wonderful person you are matthew
When you truly love yourself, you have more self worth and know that you are WORTHY of someone who wants you 100%. Always remember that you are enough and deserving of a partner who wants you the way you want them ❤🙌
Zinc and magnesium very important for boosting your immunity right now as going into flu season... At least 11 mg daily for men...8 mg daily for women with zinc...at least 420 mg daily magnesium for men...320 mg daily for women...zinc also helps in hair growth.
It's because you haven't processed the childhood trauma that has happened to you as a child and you more than likely are seeking out people who are repeat the negative behaviors of your parents.
Appreciate this video. I have had so much experience going after men who don’t ‘see me’ or value me or notice me. Often pining after them for years. Now I know why I went after men who were not available to me.
I do really like this girl. The thing is there is alot of things that needs changing in her life and she has been improving everyday. So yes she's challenging but she's worth the investment. Before she didnt want to work or even talk to her mother etc. But I managed to get her to do so. At first she didnt understand how I can be so tired everyday until she started to work and now all she wants to do is stay home and rest, ironic. I'm a aggressive person. When I met her she definitely challenged me but also was very sweet. Understood what it was like to have xtream anxiety. She was this think in my head that u always dreamed about. She was even that women who would watch tv with you or even play video games or even anime she is all of this in one package. I'm going to make this one the one.
Explore your options and don't set expectations on one person. You will get hurt!
4 года назад
Sounds like you’re whipped and projecting your fantasy/idealization onto her. That happens when you put someone on a pedestal and date their potential, not their reality.
Man, this one hits home! Needed this video right now. I never fail to get caught up in men who don’t deserve my time and energy just because there’s something alluring in the “hard to get.” So right that we envision an ideal of perfection and jump 1000 steps ahead to what must be behind the curtain of someone so unavailable- when in reality, they are often emotionally unavailable, egotistical or some other level of not ready for a real connection. And then, we never- or at least I never- feel a connection with the men who are interested. Ugh-it’s a hard cycle to break!
I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Johnson Paul and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 9years and everything was going on smoothly but February 10’th 2020 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a data but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and Favour in any of her endeavors but at first I was scared I have to give this man a trial because I love Johnson Paul very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this greats spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and caring heart....I am testifying to this great spell caster Dr osekhametalor you are the greatest man in this world and you mean so much to me your are the best spell caster that I have ever hear off In all forum contact this man via this WhatsApp +2349055574944 if you really need to get your problems solve message him now
That was something really wonderful you said at the end of the video Matthew, any time we have left we can use it well 🙂 Also, this video topic is on point... But we can divulge into deeper understanding of the psychological 'Attachment theory' which can be precisely applied to your topic here. As my understanding so far, it is the insecure attached people who can more likely put themselves in this situation, and there is so much in depth insight to be recognised about each of our own attachment styles which we can recognise why we behave the way we do due to childhood. Would love it if you could incorporate such theories into some of your topics, mega helpful :)
Over finding a-holes. Even someone who’d been so keen to get with me over 20 years and then the moment I agreed to be with him, he suddenly decided he was happy just knowing he’d been with me. I lost one of my best friends and he proved to me the reason why friends do not cross that line. He never understood why I was worried about being anything more than good friends. I never wanted to lose him. Nope. People are a-holes. I love my own company and enjoy my alone time so much, not basing my value on some fools damaged perception of how relationships should be.
One of the best statements I ever heard: 'don't forget you are your own best friend' shifted my perspective on choosing the people I like, and I actually applied what Matt is saying here. Same standars as I would like for my sister, my friends. Just started valueing myself in the same way (I had clearly self-confidence issues, thankfully the other part was already in place - if someone doesn't like me, it's not on my radar). Right now I am with a lovely man, that actually invests the same way in the relation, and this is thanks to this channel.
knowyourkismat Hey don't get me wrong. Sometimes it's nice to just go at a leisurely pace. And I completely understand if someone is turned off by the other person being too eager. But the people who get hooked into the challenge of the chase (and only that challenge) simply need to be aware of what they're doing in order to free themselves. IMO, it's actually men that fall prey to this more often than women because women have been trained for generations to play hard to get in order to fabricate some artificial sense of attraction and loyalty.
Yeah its really weird. Why do some people get married, get kids and everything from a man/woman, while others are struggeling their whole life?? And they get who they want and living happy marriages with good sex etc 😪😭
@@knowyourkismat -Yes, you are so correct. Having had an emotionally unavailable parent of the opposite sex predisposes you to an attraction to an unavailable partner. An excellent YT video on this is "Why you will marry the wrong person" by The School of Life.
I think your last comment is pure gold...it's exactly what I was thinking the other day...hearing it from you makes think that I am.in the right track...
I've been working all this year and under a lot of pressure.. all i want now is some vacation at peace with those I love the most away from all the craziness I've been through..
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
I've spent my entire life chasing after a special someone and he has never taken any of his precious time to even notice! Doing everything right, Being everything all the time. Well tonight my dreams have finally come true, a little music, dim the lights, and I am going to be all over myself - or, I may just read, we'll see what kind of a mood I'm in. Man of my dreams. Lover.
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
Sorry for the sarcasm, I'm suggesting love the one who has been there with you everynight - you! Respect yourself. Take care of yourself like you actually care and be welcomed with open arms into a world of love.
He's right on the money re scarcity. Don't take for granted that a person who likes you today will always be there waiting for you. I have done this, as soon as someone no longer wanted me, I wanted them. I hated that I did this and think it was a way to cope with my intimacy issues to get some space plus I used to worry that once I made a commitment that I could not back out if things were to go south. Seems many of us do these weird little to and fro mind games, and strangely, we are attracted to those who do the same. I didn't realize I was doing it until I sensed a familiar pattern emerge with a new guy whom I wasn't yet sure about. We were both dong the same "come close but stand back" thing.
I am so guilty of this. I don't know what's wrong with me. 2020 was this exact scenario. But I will work to change this. There is always time to improve ourselves.
In a lot of heart pain today and IDK why this really just helped me so much. So much so I left a situation that was just not bringing me any joy. And I am 100% afraid I will never find love again but I don’t want to feel this pain anymore from the person I love. So even if that means I am alone it seems less hurtful than being emotionally impaired almost daily. Thank you Matthew
I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Johnson Paul and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 9years and everything was going on smoothly but February 10’th 2020 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a data but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and Favour in any of her endeavors but at first I was scared I have to give this man a trial because I love Johnson Paul very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this greats spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and caring heart....I am testifying to this great spell caster Dr osekhametalor you are the greatest man in this world and you mean so much to me your are the best spell caster that I have ever hear off In all forum contact this man via this WhatsApp +2349055574944 if you really need to get your problems solve message him now
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
Been there , will never do that again. I also wouldn’t approach a man I found attractive, I think it’s appropriate he approach me. This is a great strategy, adding this in to the mix.
Wow this was timely! Thanksgiving here all alone.. doubts crept in about dumping him. This just put it in perspective. Perfect clarity. I would NEVER allow a man to treat my sister or best friends like that. 100% satisfied with my decision again. Thank you :D Lots to be grateful for yes let's go out with a bang 🙏
Ture. You decide what can you make of 2020. Looking back I have been so productive and achieved so many things while being in lock down this year and still keep working hard towards my goals. Instead of eating junk food and binge watching Netflix. Even if everything around you is closed you can still do so many thing online. Study, work, invest in you & in people. Get your dream body by working out at home and eating healthy since you are at home anyways. So the one who reads this, you still have 2 months to make a difference, so don't waste it.
I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Johnson Paul and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 9years and everything was going on smoothly but February 10’th 2020 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a data but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and Favour in any of her endeavors but at first I was scared I have to give this man a trial because I love Johnson Paul very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this greats spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and caring heart....I am testifying to this great spell caster Dr osekhametalor you are the greatest man in this world and you mean so much to me your are the best spell caster that I have ever hear off In all forum contact this man via this WhatsApp +2349055574944 if you really need to get your problems solve message him now
I've actually said that EXACT thing you my psychologist! I don't even try to date because who could be attracted to me? And if they are they're more fucked up than I am! Regardless of what anyone says, its hard to change that mindset. Its not as easy as hearing "you're worth it" . I haven't figured out how to get through it yet, but at least now I want to.
The only men who want me are not my type physically, have mismatched life goals, mismatched personality, and are totally incompatible in the bedroom (weird fetishes I’m turned off by, etc). I don’t bother with men that don’t show clear interest or play hard to get. However, I’ve had men act like I’m amazing, they seem like my exact type so I fall in love, then they do a 180 and choose another woman. So I don’t know what the answer is. I’ve been single 7 years now and have pretty much given up after getting my heart smashed to bits.
How true is this concept, the thing I go through is when someone is interested in me without I having Interest in them is I straight away think that there is something less in them than me or what I need from a partner, and then I realise that in those I am interested in are also less of what I want in a partner so basically what you said I am going to changey perception first and them I think my self esteem will automatically follow 👍 Great advice , how strange it is that we all these days come with no relationship intelligence which older generation had it automatically in them and it's quite funny that no school in this world is teaching how relationship works and what you need to look forward to
Sometimes it’s good to just tell the person and see how they take it. There are enough “what if?” regrets in life without having to add potentially missing out on knowing the love of your life (unless it really is totally inappropriate).
👀 I feel like this was for me. I tend to always say the ones I like don't like me, and the ones that like me, I'm not interested in. Thanks for addressing this Matthew.
0:56 The economics model you made for attraction is quite funny 😂 I have a little different theory about attraction. Humans are naturally social people and women are influenced by each other more so than men. I found that if an “alpha” type woman likes or fancies a guy, then all women will follow her example and like the same guy. It’s the way when women are living together the dominant female begins to regulate the menstrual cycle of all ladies and synchronise them to her menstrual cycle. Hence why you will see many women end up trying to win the affections of the same guy. Women want to upstage each other, not that they actually like the guy in question, they simply want to “win” him from the other woman whom they view as more worthy than themselves. If the alpha woman wasn’t interested in him at all, then the other ladies would quickly lose interest in him. Men are a bit similar in that they will chase after a woman the feel their competitor likes….for example, let’s say there are two male colleagues and one of them has a girlfriend, the friend will try his best to have a secret affair with the girlfriend not because he really fancies her, but because he wants an advantage over his colleague that he feels competitive with. Hence why there are many men who suddenly feel betrayed when their wife or girlfriend ends up having a secret affair with his best friend or brother…it’s not that he really fancies her, he merely wants to show the other man that he can take whatever he has, including people in his life. Attraction is quite complex when multiple people are involved but usually the alpha male or female determines the focus of attraction in many situations. As for me, I am typically attracted to men who inspire me to create art. Men who are complex, often lead double lives, intellectually fierce, insatiable curiosity and passion for life and who have a lot of respect amongst other men and exude a natural kind of power. I’m not attracted to pretty boys or men with shallow goals; that means that I’m rarely ever attracted to men at all, but usually when I fancy a guy, I use all my hyper focus on him to get him interested in me. They have been some men that I have briefly dated who were more like “projects”…men I wanted to mold and shape into what I wanted, and that ended up in complete disaster, hence I have learned not to throw pearls before swine. IMO a man is always available when he has a keen interest in you. An “unavailable” person is someone who doesn’t know what he wants and flitters from one person to another in continual angst. In these cases, it’s best to leave him alone. However, if a guy does know what he wants, he will let you know without any doubt or question. For me, because attraction tends to build over time, I have learned not to give my undivided attention to someone who doesn’t return the same. Many people may feel desperate to get into an unstable relationship because they fear being alone and may choose the very people who will make their lives worse. Before I am even interested in emotionally investing in someone, I ask myself 1) how does he add value to my life? 2) does he inspire me to become a better person? 3) do we have complementary goals that we want to build a life together? 4) do we have complementary conflict resolution styles? 5) is he a person who gives me energy or takes it away? 6) do I like who I am when I am with him? I’ve found if one of these is off, then the entire house of cards falls down because there isn’t a strong foundation in which to build attraction that endures over time. A lot of people are addicted to the oxytocin chemicals released by the brain after sex, but these measures are temporary, and I find that I can completely dislike a person despite feeling longing for them due to oxytocin. But once that period of oxytocin fades, you sort of wonder why you wasted so much time on that person that you innately disliked. Hence I think it’s important for people to understand why they’re attracted to a certain person. People living in the dark are attracted to others only on a level in which they have unresolved issues with one of their parental figures or they feel competitive with alphas who elicit their childhood insecurities. Enlightened people are attracted to others because they want to empower each other and can only add positive value to their lives by being together.
I understand turning that love inward towards yourself, but what if you're already damaged and at times, you find it impossible to hope that someone might accept you with everything that comes with you?
I like to believe there's someone out there for everyone. People will see the stuff you can't help and the stuff you can. Like, for example, let's say you have really ugly toes. You're a great catch, but you've been bullied for these ugly toes your whole life so you know that letting someone close would eventually mean them questioning why you always wear socks even in 100 degree weather. I think the thing we hope in that situation is that they'll not be bothered by the ugly toes when you finally reveal them and that it won't come up again. Thing is, though, it's a part of you and it's not something you can help. I'd personally rather have a person be honest and say "yeah those are wicked ugly toes" and then proceed to just act normally, than someone who looks at them and goes "they're not ugly, they're beautiful" because I know they're ugly and they're basically just lying to make you feel better. Yes, the latter might make you feel better in the moment, but eventually it'll feel like they're ignoring or not "seeing" all of you, which isn't good in a relationship.
Its okay to feel damaged....its okay to not be okay....but after a certain point of time you have got to ask yourself these questions....till when? Till when will you let yourself stay damaged and for whom have you stayed like this for so long? Really ask yourself this if u really do need someone to save you.....if you think you do need someone....be that person.....no one can save you or heal you until you decide to save yourself or decide you need healing.......Be your own hero and never be afraid of being alone dear.....coz God will be by your side no matter what.....Accept yourself first and try to be the best version of yourself...be the person you always wanted to be.....! BEST of luck people!
people who distrust your love tell themselves youre trying so hard cause you have something to compensate for. Some wrong to make right for yourself, selfish, instead of just believing someone really likes you. Thats my whole family. That took me a good solid 15 yrs to figure out..
I can recommend you to someone who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too 🙏🙏🙏
For me personally, when I was attracted to someone who was emotionally unavailable and/or toxic, it was because I hadn't healed parts of myself. If you want better you have to genuinely believe you're worthy of better 💙
Very wise. Our attraction to toxic partners or friends says a lot about ourselves, that we haven’t healed.
I just have no clue what to heal😅
This is for you...
It's easier said than done, but guard your heart. Everyone doesn't have the capacity to love us or care genuinely about us at the level we care for them. Respect yourself enough to CHOOSE YOURSELF over the attention, validation, and love from others. You are enough. You are worthy of being truly loved, not just tolerated.
Thank you Nelly I really needed this 🤗
@@Lahlisa18 🤗 You're welcome.
Very important words!! So important to remember
Your the PRIZE...let them Win you 😉
Damn I really needed to hear this. I’m in a slippery-slope right now with someone and I’m just conflicted on what I want
Also, people who have intimacy issues they're not aware of, they usually go for the hard-to-get-person because that means 0% chance of a serious relationship
"treat yourself as if someone you are responsible for"
Jordan Peterson
Treat yourself like a wise friend who wishes the best for you.
Love internet dad
❤🔥
Having my son helped me develop this concept.
Stop going to places where you're presence is not appreciated...
my own 3 adult children drinking the koolaid
Well, if that's true i'm going to have to go in self isolation then. Good thing that's manditory in 2020 covid times lol 😂
"Well if you want me, there must be something wrong with you"...Yikes, that hit home. I need to get out of the habit of doing that.
I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Johnson Paul and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 9years and everything was going on smoothly but February 10’th 2020 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a data but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and Favour in any of her endeavors but at first I was scared I have to give this man a trial because I love Johnson Paul very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this greats spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and caring heart....I am testifying to this great spell caster Dr osekhametalor you are the greatest man in this world and you mean so much to me your are the best spell caster that I have ever hear off In all forum contact this man via this WhatsApp +2349055574944 if you really need to get your problems solve message him now
This is what I’ve run into and need to work on as well ❤
"Do I like him, or is he just ignoring me?"
It’s often both, and that’s why you’re in trouble...
If you have to ask this question then the answer is "He is ignoring you." I am male and I can say from my experiences when I am into someone I make it happen, you would not feel ignored at all. However as a male I have a differing set of challenges though many are rather similar.
Wow. That part 👏🏼👏🏼
Next!
Yaaaooooowzaaaa😂👌🏻
The wrong person is someone who is Taking and not Giving...ANYTHING.
Amen!
i agree. Most women i date are like that.
@@arturo165 They need to realize that their the PRIZE. He needs to Win them. Or you go from Goddess to DOORMAT.
@@crystalanamericaninsicily they're.
@@crystalanamericaninsicily having a va*ina doesn't make you "prize". You're a dating coach? xD
This video is a wake up call for me. I’ve had a crush on this guy for 10 years, he rejected me 3 times and treated me like his spare tyre. I’ve tried to be like him (eg joining leadership programs when I don’t enjoy it). Its been a pathetic 10 years really. This video reminds me of how little self value I have chasing after this guy that wont like me back. Thank you.
P/S: i really like your new hairstyle.
What a waste of time. Ten years is too long
Aww... Honestly. Ditch the dude. If someone likes you, they will make their intentions known. If they don't, that's also a good thing. Friend zone them. Friendships are unique in that it can also tell you the answer. It will strengthen or weaken overtime. You can tell a lot about a person by seeing what type of friend they are to other people.
@Romanticide True.
Have you been in a relationship with this guy ? Or in any relationship in these 10 years?
I am sure you're lovely. Unlucky him
"If they're not available, they must be worth more." One of the most important lessons I learned is that nobody is more special or more valuable than anybody else. Everybody is the same. I learned not to waste my time with people who are unavailable. Best thing you can do for yourself if you come across this kind of person is to tell them to piss off and you're wasting my time. Last time I said that to someone, he didn't take it too well. If they don't take it well, that's your answer right there.
@Snark L E I like how you just post this exact same comment on everybody's thread and liked your own post. You've got too much time on your hands.
Hahaha 😂
This fact is hard to accept, but you are right 🙏🏻
Ofcourse if you say it with such rudeness noone is going to take that well. You can choose to just walk away or if you want to cut them off, do it kindly and with understanding (and not from your place of insecurity) that it's not necessarily their fault they don't fancy you or are unavailable to you.
I literally shed a tear, when you said imagine someone you love and turn this love inwards. Love your videos, honestly, you make my day everytime. Thank you! 🤗😘
I also shed some tear at that point. Powerful message xxx
uh i can't even... I would take care of me like I'm baby 😭
No god but Allah
Islam way for peace and the real monotheism
Search for the truth and right way with honest heart And ask him for the right way for his mercy.
Matthew I have followed your content for many years since way back when I was single and doing it all wrong on the dating scene. I’m now happily married and expecting my first child, and I just want to say your content still holds such value to me. It applies not just to romantic relationships but to work, friendships, family, etc. I appreciate all you do.
This gives single people hope! If you are not physically attracted to someone, should you give them a chance?
LNGG's Channel I don’t think so.
@@WaterAndFire888 Thank you.
I dont believe that you are happily married, sorry. But i see people write on the internet:»im so happy and married omg!!» Just stop it! You just tell us ur happy just to annoy and make single people more depressed! If u are happy and married you should not write on this comment section, it is for single and unhappy people! And you are very very lucky and have a good destiny, because you are married to the one you WANT and are having a baby too!! I can only dream about getting 1 a man i want! 2 no man wants to marry, they only want a relationship without any commitment and they do not even want to live togheter with me! 3 i dont know if i even can get pregnant! No man wants to meet me or hang out even! Dont have anyone to date. Hate being single and unwanted these cold days!! While pregnancy announcement everywhere and happy married love couples. I just dont understand why some women get love and everything from a man and others just gets shit ??
@Romanticide Thanks. I met a guy great on paper but there was no chemistry, I had to end things. I felt guilty because he was super nice and wanted a future with me but I really needed physical attraction.
sometimes you just simply genuienly like someone, but he just doesnt feel the same way about you. and it sucks
You are afraid to be alone. Much research has shown that women are willing to endure being in an unhappy relationship rather than being all alone and that's why they fall for the wrong kind of men. They think it's better to date a wrong man than be alone.👍
Totally agree
It is deeper than that, it is a fear of abandonment, it could be attachment issues or the big one, they do not love themselves enough to understand love actually comes from within and not from another person. When you love and respect yourself, you do not accept bad situations, bad relationships, the wrong man
MissUnderstood everyone is you pushed out, is a psychological theory that you get what you are, not what you want... if you don’t want a needy man... don’t be needy
Not all men are the same, but any relationship is the whole of 2people in it, so control your emotions and behaviour you’ll get everything you want AND need
MissUnderstood holding onto anger is like drinking poison and hoping he will die... let it go 😊
Hello I know of a man who can help you...
“A lot of try-hard people, drinking overpriced vodka, at tables” 😂😂
😂😂
Laughed so hard at this 😹
I don't want to cancel 2020, either! I actually planted a garden for the first time in my life! :)
After my last breakup, your videos helped put me back on track for confidence and positive thinking. I don’t really need them anymore, I’ve found a wonderful young man who loves me deeply, but I still like to watch to remind me and keep me on track. I feel like your channel is so much more then dating advice. It builds confidence and self love and that’s so important. Thank you again for your amazing content
That respect about thinking of somebody that you love and only accepting the respect they deserve that was probably the most helpful tip about this topic ever thank you
Wow...
You just stopped me dead in my tracks... the last statement..
"Think of how you want your children to be treated and the kind of love you feel they deserve and should be shown by someone, then turn that inward."
That exact moment was what I think being hit by lightening would be similar too.
INSTANT realization, COMPLETE comprehension = shock inducing.
Phewft... need a nap now, that was intense.
Thank you, great content 👌
I can't believe I still need this after two years....
Me too
🥺
Same here... but I'm getting there 😅
@@samanthagiglio2738 It is hard, I try not looking at his social media, easier said than done....when each look is like a kick in the guts haha
I basically ignored my parents and tried to fit in with girls who chase boys. Then I got cheated on and still chased him to later finding out that I had to love myself. Don’t ignore your parents or people who tell you not to chase move on and love yourself trust me there will be someone else and better.
If he doesn't accept you for who you are if he makes you feel less worthy he's got to go
Even if you're a lying entitled s/UT?
... or you could improve yourself and be a better option.
what if you already gave him everything?
@@weagaspay8724 Everything? As in your whole life, resources and undivided attention. I really think you haven't and shouldn't. Seek professional help. Most people benefit from therapy
@@weagaspay8724 what are you? God?
I have to admit that the way you speak without patronising your audience and respecting what people are going through really draws me in. I appreciate it greatly. You can tell that you're passionate about helping people and connecting with them. Thanks for continuing to produce videos and I hope your online immersion proves successful. I wish I could afford to join.
I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would want me as a member.
That is deeeeeep
Hello dear I know of a man who can help you...
What sapp him.....
could you please exlain me thiis quote more./ thank youu
@@soumiamezerreg3043 right i dont get it much please explain more
That's why women distrust compliments.
Honestly, most online relationship advice is really “Beginner guide to Common Sense” but Hussey is so handsome and has such a soothing voice that I end up watching this videos anyhow.
Hello I can recommend you to a powerful spell caster who always help individual In getting their ex back.
Talk to him
chole derker you are barking up the wrong tree, mate
I love the last part. I was just ghosted after 3yrs and as bad as I want to just go and confront him, I've realized that I have to set an example for my daughter and show her not to chase someone that doesn't value you. I'm still going through my storm but after watching that video it helped me some.
n ever give up on t he person you really love..
Is either you make a good impact or you strive for it to come t rue..
I got help from someone, who helped me fixed my broken relationship and my ex that once left me for 3yrs came back to me and Relationship was restored.
I'm sure he can help you too with any problem you are encountering now.
His name is Dr Stephen
Wh🅰️TSAA🅿️ Him directly
+2 3 4 7 0 3 0 8 9 4 8 9 2 📞📞
Be the person you want to attract. The people that comes into your life are just a reflection of your subconscious mind. If you want someone who is driven, successful, and passionate, then you must become driven, successful and passionate.
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
What"sapp him
❤❤❤
Hi Matt!! very good insight yet again!!! love your tips. The more I learn about relationship and especially romantic ones, I realize that 99% percent of the things we do/don't do and say/don't say in a relationship has to do with our self-esteem and how we see ourselves (either as a result of growing up in a certain family/environment or as a result of something that has happened to us at any point that might have left marks). IF we work on our self-esteem and stop expecting other people, outside ourselves, to 'heal' or 'fix' us, we will definitely cure and heal a lot of issues and problems that stem from this issue.
Awww first the gaslighting video and now this. I’m liking this new deeper content. One of your best videos in a while! People do need to appreciate what they have when they have it (someone’s affection) and have higher self esteem!
Also for me personally this has been one of my better years and I feel like I’m just getting into gear!
I am older and used to go after a man who was not as interested. You are right Matthew, we assign qualities to these people and put them on a pedestal. As I have gone through life experiences, dating...if someone does not make the effort towards me, it is on to next. I no longer put up with this because I value myself and use common sense. So tired of online dating and all the psychological aspects of it now and games and egos and already married .... it is exhausting. I have my specifications now. Current pictures, consistent messages and phone call prior to meeting.
3:00 "And in pursuit of this person, we allow all manner of bad behavior towards ourselves..."
And others. Don't forget the toxicity of all the good guys and nice guys that get ignored or friendzoned due to being codependently obsessed with the wrong guy.
My trick to boost my self esteem is to find RUclips tracks where a guy is waking up or going to sleep talking about how wonderful I am and how much they love me. It reminds me of what I want my future husband to feel and gives me a sense of fulfilment that comes from within. I listen to one upon waking and another just before sleep. My day to day energy is completely different now. Good luck 🤞
I accidentally signed up for another course alongside the course i wanted and Matthews team have just been absolutely amazing and offered a refund for 2 months worth of subscription that i wasn't even aware of (i should check my bank account more often). Such a lovely team and what a wonderful person you are matthew
Hello to whom it may concern I know of someone great and powerful who helped me get my ex back recently he can also help you just as he did mine too
Text on whrsapp
When you truly love yourself, you have more self worth and know that you are WORTHY of someone who wants you 100%. Always remember that you are enough and deserving of a partner who wants you the way you want them ❤🙌
Your ego already sky rocketing xD you wanna go beyond? wtf
Loving the new hair Matt. Sound advice everyone. Don't revert back to your teen self and bust a gut chasing people.
Hey ❤ , how you doing, hope you doing great !!!!
"Bacchanalian delights." Love it.
Also, didn't expect this video to be about our own feelings of unworthiness. Powerful.
Grace Wheeler,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!
Zinc and magnesium very important for boosting your immunity right now as going into flu season... At least 11 mg daily for men...8 mg daily for women with zinc...at least 420 mg daily magnesium for men...320 mg daily for women...zinc also helps in hair growth.
It's because you haven't processed the childhood trauma that has happened to you as a child and you more than likely are seeking out people who are repeat the negative behaviors of your parents.
I have a friend that is like this.
true. neglected and traumatized children develop very unhealthy bonding patterns - clingy or avoidant
Thank you for this..... so true!
Appreciate this video. I have had so much experience going after men who don’t ‘see me’ or value me or notice me. Often pining after them for years. Now I know why I went after men who were not available to me.
Hi dear
Yes! Give yourself the kindness you would give your most loved ones. You are priceless gold ❤️
I do really like this girl. The thing is there is alot of things that needs changing in her life and she has been improving everyday. So yes she's challenging but she's worth the investment. Before she didnt want to work or even talk to her mother etc. But I managed to get her to do so. At first she didnt understand how I can be so tired everyday until she started to work and now all she wants to do is stay home and rest, ironic. I'm a aggressive person. When I met her she definitely challenged me but also was very sweet. Understood what it was like to have xtream anxiety. She was this think in my head that u always dreamed about. She was even that women who would watch tv with you or even play video games or even anime she is all of this in one package. I'm going to make this one the one.
Cant change anyone
Explore your options and don't set expectations on one person. You will get hurt!
Sounds like you’re whipped and projecting your fantasy/idealization onto her. That happens when you put someone on a pedestal and date their potential, not their reality.
Man, this one hits home! Needed this video right now. I never fail to get caught up in men who don’t deserve my time and energy just because there’s something alluring in the “hard to get.” So right that we envision an ideal of perfection and jump 1000 steps ahead to what must be behind the curtain of someone so unavailable- when in reality, they are often emotionally unavailable, egotistical or some other level of not ready for a real connection. And then, we never- or at least I never- feel a connection with the men who are interested. Ugh-it’s a hard cycle to break!
This had me in tears I love this! 😭♥️
I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Johnson Paul and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 9years and everything was going on smoothly but February 10’th 2020 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a data but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and Favour in any of her endeavors but at first I was scared I have to give this man a trial because I love Johnson Paul very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this greats spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and caring heart....I am testifying to this great spell caster Dr osekhametalor you are the greatest man in this world and you mean so much to me your are the best spell caster that I have ever hear off In all forum contact this man via this WhatsApp +2349055574944 if you really need to get your problems solve message him now
That was something really wonderful you said at the end of the video Matthew, any time we have left we can use it well 🙂
Also, this video topic is on point...
But we can divulge into deeper understanding of the psychological 'Attachment theory' which can be precisely applied to your topic here. As my understanding so far, it is the insecure attached people who can more likely put themselves in this situation, and there is so much in depth insight to be recognised about each of our own attachment styles which we can recognise why we behave the way we do due to childhood.
Would love it if you could incorporate such theories into some of your topics, mega helpful :)
Over finding a-holes. Even someone who’d been so keen to get with me over 20 years and then the moment I agreed to be with him, he suddenly decided he was happy just knowing he’d been with me. I lost one of my best friends and he proved to me the reason why friends do not cross that line. He never understood why I was worried about being anything more than good friends. I never wanted to lose him.
Nope. People are a-holes.
I love my own company and enjoy my alone time so much, not basing my value on some fools damaged perception of how relationships should be.
One of the best statements I ever heard: 'don't forget you are your own best friend' shifted my perspective on choosing the people I like, and I actually applied what Matt is saying here. Same standars as I would like for my sister, my friends. Just started valueing myself in the same way (I had clearly self-confidence issues, thankfully the other part was already in place - if someone doesn't like me, it's not on my radar). Right now I am with a lovely man, that actually invests the same way in the relation, and this is thanks to this channel.
I've always been disturbed by the idea that people get attached to others who are unavailable.
It's just weird.
You’re lucky then that you haven’t had the preceding trauma that would cause you chase or become attached to emotionally unavailable people
It's a self-defense mechanism
knowyourkismat Hey don't get me wrong. Sometimes it's nice to just go at a leisurely pace.
And I completely understand if someone is turned off by the other person being too eager.
But the people who get hooked into the challenge of the chase (and only that challenge) simply need to be aware of what they're doing in order to free themselves.
IMO, it's actually men that fall prey to this more often than women because women have been trained for generations to play hard to get in order to fabricate some artificial sense of attraction and loyalty.
Yeah its really weird. Why do some people get married, get kids and everything from a man/woman, while others are struggeling their whole life?? And they get who they want and living happy marriages with good sex etc 😪😭
@@knowyourkismat -Yes, you are so correct. Having had an emotionally unavailable parent of the opposite sex predisposes you to an attraction to an unavailable partner. An excellent YT video on this is "Why you will marry the wrong person" by The School of Life.
raising our standards is such a great idea!!! i love how you say it’s not only for us but for you as well.
Hey ❤ , how you doing, hope you doing great !!!!
That's true Matthew, all you said is very true, been a victim but still pushing to find the right one out there ... Thanks a lot Matthew
Hello dear I know of a man who can help you
What sapp him...
my mind is blown in the best way now, this video came out in good timing too . Thanks Matthew!
Matthew Hussey, I don't know how you do it. I LOVE this video, and it literally came in at the absolute perfect time. Thank you for all you do.
I wish I would have realized long before. I really appreciate you for this content. many things to learn from you, Love you, Matthew.
2020 has been the most amazing year productively for me, and I have set up the next few years of my life! Very excited :)
Hello ❤, how you doing ?
Same! So great to see someone else experiencing that as well :)
@@lochan8180 :)
@@turanyoung2323 awesome
@@LisaNEdwards where you from, Lisa
I think your last comment is pure gold...it's exactly what I was thinking the other day...hearing it from you makes think that I am.in the right track...
I've been working all this year and under a lot of pressure.. all i want now is some vacation at peace with those I love the most away from all the craziness I've been through..
Here i got a hidden part of myself revealed to me .Thanks Sir.
I loved that.... Taking the love you have for a loved 1 and turn it inwardly.. Love this...
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
Whatsapp him
+2347030894892"🙏🏾
I've spent my entire life chasing after a special someone and he has never taken any of his precious time to even notice!
Doing everything right, Being everything all the time.
Well tonight my dreams have finally come true,
a little music,
dim the lights,
and I am going to be all over myself - or, I may just read, we'll see what kind of a mood I'm in.
Man of my dreams.
Lover.
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
What sApp him
+2347030894892"🙏🏾
Sorry for the sarcasm, I'm suggesting love the one who has been there with you everynight - you!
Respect yourself.
Take care of yourself like you actually care and be welcomed with open arms into a world of love.
I SO needed this!
I'll get up from the sofa now and embrace actually being shown interest - as weird as it sounds 🤍
Hello dear I know of a man who can help you...
What sapp him.....
@@hudsonsmith8192 ... ew
@@hudsonsmith8192 please stop.
He's right on the money re scarcity. Don't take for granted that a person who likes you today will always be there waiting for you. I have done this, as soon as someone no longer wanted me, I wanted them. I hated that I did this and think it was a way to cope with my intimacy issues to get some space plus I used to worry that once I made a commitment that I could not back out if things were to go south.
Seems many of us do these weird little to and fro mind games, and strangely, we are attracted to those who do the same. I didn't realize I was doing it until I sensed a familiar pattern emerge with a new guy whom I wasn't yet sure about. We were both dong the same "come close but stand back" thing.
I am so guilty of this. I don't know what's wrong with me. 2020 was this exact scenario. But I will work to change this. There is always time to improve ourselves.
Ughhhh how true this is. Hit home just from the first statement. Dag🤦♀️
Blessings, STRENGTH and Light 🦋🦋🦋
Matthew Hussey just saved me for like many many times. Thank you :')
Thank you ❤️I appreciate you and the impact you have on my mindset and my wellbeing. Send a big virtual hug 🤗
In a lot of heart pain today and IDK why this really just helped me so much. So much so I left a situation that was just not bringing me any joy. And I am 100% afraid I will never find love again but I don’t want to feel this pain anymore from the person I love. So even if that means I am alone it seems less hurtful than being emotionally impaired almost daily. Thank you Matthew
Hey ❤ , how you doing, hope you doing great !!!!
The advise that you gave in this video has opened up my eyes sooo much, thank you so much
I definitely admire that loving vibe of yours! 💜
I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Johnson Paul and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 9years and everything was going on smoothly but February 10’th 2020 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a data but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and Favour in any of her endeavors but at first I was scared I have to give this man a trial because I love Johnson Paul very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this greats spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and caring heart....I am testifying to this great spell caster Dr osekhametalor you are the greatest man in this world and you mean so much to me your are the best spell caster that I have ever hear off In all forum contact this man via this WhatsApp +2349055574944 if you really need to get your problems solve message him now
Wow, you explained this so simply and so beautifully, like attracts like, you must first love yourself ❤️
My heart.....a sacred place.....and a good place.........deserves respect, care, and honesty🧚♀️
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
What sApp him
+2347030894892"🙏🏾
Been asking myself that question for years - always attracted to someone who isn't available but never interested in those who like me.
If you need help.. with your relationship.
I can help you out
+1 4 1 5 6 4 9 1 4 3 4
Been there , will never do that again. I also wouldn’t approach a man I found attractive, I think it’s appropriate he approach me. This is a great strategy, adding this in to the mix.
Loiusa, I admire your pretty smile
Thank you!!! Thank you!!! Thank god for making you!!!!
Wow this was timely! Thanksgiving here all alone.. doubts crept in about dumping him. This just put it in perspective. Perfect clarity. I would NEVER allow a man to treat my sister or best friends like that. 100% satisfied with my decision again. Thank you :D Lots to be grateful for yes let's go out with a bang 🙏
Ture. You decide what can you make of 2020. Looking back I have been so productive and achieved so many things while being in lock down this year and still keep working hard towards my goals. Instead of eating junk food and binge watching Netflix. Even if everything around you is closed you can still do so many thing online. Study, work, invest in you & in people. Get your dream body by working out at home and eating healthy since you are at home anyways. So the one who reads this, you still have 2 months to make a difference, so don't waste it.
I am from United States, I was in a relationship with Johnson Paul and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 9years and everything was going on smoothly but February 10’th 2020 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a data but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and Favour in any of her endeavors but at first I was scared I have to give this man a trial because I love Johnson Paul very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this greats spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and caring heart....I am testifying to this great spell caster Dr osekhametalor you are the greatest man in this world and you mean so much to me your are the best spell caster that I have ever hear off In all forum contact this man via this WhatsApp +2349055574944 if you really need to get your problems solve message him now
Thank you so much Matthew 🌠 I'll definitely follow those rules 👍🏻
Perfect advice...love that you have for a loved one, turn it inwards🥰
So helpful. Been giving the jerks more value than they have just bcause he's not available to me
I can help you out ...
Text me on whtsapp
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I've actually said that EXACT thing you my psychologist! I don't even try to date because who could be attracted to me? And if they are they're more fucked up than I am! Regardless of what anyone says, its hard to change that mindset. Its not as easy as hearing "you're worth it" . I haven't figured out how to get through it yet, but at least now I want to.
I live these situation in my childhood with my familly.
Hello dear I know of a man who can help you...
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Me too, Patricia. Therapy helps.
I’m sorry you’re going through that Patricia.
The only men who want me are not my type physically, have mismatched life goals, mismatched personality, and are totally incompatible in the bedroom (weird fetishes I’m turned off by, etc).
I don’t bother with men that don’t show clear interest or play hard to get. However, I’ve had men act like I’m amazing, they seem like my exact type so I fall in love, then they do a 180 and choose another woman.
So I don’t know what the answer is. I’ve been single 7 years now and have pretty much given up after getting my heart smashed to bits.
This is so good. Probably the best video I’ve watched of yours. Thank you! Your hair looks great too by the way ❤️
Sarah Davies, you look stunning 🌹🌹🥀
So d you Oscar
Looking better there Matty pleased for you, good for you bro, great directioned piece (he's back)
It can even be any friendship , I have had so many platonic female friends in my life who all regularly abused me . It destroyed my life and time .
I find myself atractive to my love coach ❤️❤️❤️... Yeahhh it's Matthew... 🙈🙈🙈
I needed to hear this so badly. Thank you.
Rosa Hawkins,you re absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌷🌷🌹
@@oscarwilliamson1264 thank you :)
@@worldpeace6726 you are welcome my dearest 🌹🌷🌷🥀.I'm Oscar Williamson from the States ❤️.You?
@@worldpeace6726 which country are you from?
Every word u uttered was pure gold.
I feel called out in a HUGE way. Thanks gor the wake up csll
How true is this concept, the thing I go through is when someone is interested in me without I having Interest in them is I straight away think that there is something less in them than me or what I need from a partner, and then I realise that in those I am interested in are also less of what I want in a partner so basically what you said I am going to changey perception first and them I think my self esteem will automatically follow 👍 Great advice , how strange it is that we all these days come with no relationship intelligence which older generation had it automatically in them and it's quite funny that no school in this world is teaching how relationship works and what you need to look forward to
I’m always falling for the wrong person I believe this is why I can’t and haven’t found the one yet it’s so frustrating
May be you're the wrong person. Learn to take responsibility.
Arc Angle and what is that supposed to mean. If you can’t say anything nice don’t even comment!
@@stephaniealaia769 there you go... You wanna hear nice things but not the truth. That's why Matt is so rich pandering to you.
Arc Angle uhh not exactly it’s how you said it nothing what you said was the truth you’re just being cruel and not being right
@@stephaniealaia769 yeah... Well, that doesn't change the fact that your choice defines you.
"Attracted to wrong ones" ... Yeah , nope. ..
Sometimes it’s good to just tell the person and see how they take it. There are enough “what if?” regrets in life without having to add potentially missing out on knowing the love of your life (unless it really is totally inappropriate).
👀 I feel like this was for me. I tend to always say the ones I like don't like me, and the ones that like me, I'm not interested in. Thanks for addressing this Matthew.
Very good formula !!!! So can many people gain perspective and self esteem!!! Love your work Matthew
Matthew gives good information for everyone
0:56 The economics model you made for attraction is quite funny 😂 I have a little different theory about attraction. Humans are naturally social people and women are influenced by each other more so than men. I found that if an “alpha” type woman likes or fancies a guy, then all women will follow her example and like the same guy. It’s the way when women are living together the dominant female begins to regulate the menstrual cycle of all ladies and synchronise them to her menstrual cycle. Hence why you will see many women end up trying to win the affections of the same guy. Women want to upstage each other, not that they actually like the guy in question, they simply want to “win” him from the other woman whom they view as more worthy than themselves. If the alpha woman wasn’t interested in him at all, then the other ladies would quickly lose interest in him.
Men are a bit similar in that they will chase after a woman the feel their competitor likes….for example, let’s say there are two male colleagues and one of them has a girlfriend, the friend will try his best to have a secret affair with the girlfriend not because he really fancies her, but because he wants an advantage over his colleague that he feels competitive with. Hence why there are many men who suddenly feel betrayed when their wife or girlfriend ends up having a secret affair with his best friend or brother…it’s not that he really fancies her, he merely wants to show the other man that he can take whatever he has, including people in his life.
Attraction is quite complex when multiple people are involved but usually the alpha male or female determines the focus of attraction in many situations.
As for me, I am typically attracted to men who inspire me to create art. Men who are complex, often lead double lives, intellectually fierce, insatiable curiosity and passion for life and who have a lot of respect amongst other men and exude a natural kind of power. I’m not attracted to pretty boys or men with shallow goals; that means that I’m rarely ever attracted to men at all, but usually when I fancy a guy, I use all my hyper focus on him to get him interested in me.
They have been some men that I have briefly dated who were more like “projects”…men I wanted to mold and shape into what I wanted, and that ended up in complete disaster, hence I have learned not to throw pearls before swine. IMO a man is always available when he has a keen interest in you. An “unavailable” person is someone who doesn’t know what he wants and flitters from one person to another in continual angst. In these cases, it’s best to leave him alone.
However, if a guy does know what he wants, he will let you know without any doubt or question. For me, because attraction tends to build over time, I have learned not to give my undivided attention to someone who doesn’t return the same.
Many people may feel desperate to get into an unstable relationship because they fear being alone and may choose the very people who will make their lives worse. Before I am even interested in emotionally investing in someone, I ask myself 1) how does he add value to my life? 2) does he inspire me to become a better person? 3) do we have complementary goals that we want to build a life together? 4) do we have complementary conflict resolution styles? 5) is he a person who gives me energy or takes it away? 6) do I like who I am when I am with him?
I’ve found if one of these is off, then the entire house of cards falls down because there isn’t a strong foundation in which to build attraction that endures over time. A lot of people are addicted to the oxytocin chemicals released by the brain after sex, but these measures are temporary, and I find that I can completely dislike a person despite feeling longing for them due to oxytocin. But once that period of oxytocin fades, you sort of wonder why you wasted so much time on that person that you innately disliked.
Hence I think it’s important for people to understand why they’re attracted to a certain person. People living in the dark are attracted to others only on a level in which they have unresolved issues with one of their parental figures or they feel competitive with alphas who elicit their childhood insecurities. Enlightened people are attracted to others because they want to empower each other and can only add positive value to their lives by being together.
You write very well, this sounds like an excerpt from a book.
I understand turning that love inward towards yourself, but what if you're already damaged and at times, you find it impossible to hope that someone might accept you with everything that comes with you?
I like to believe there's someone out there for everyone. People will see the stuff you can't help and the stuff you can. Like, for example, let's say you have really ugly toes. You're a great catch, but you've been bullied for these ugly toes your whole life so you know that letting someone close would eventually mean them questioning why you always wear socks even in 100 degree weather. I think the thing we hope in that situation is that they'll not be bothered by the ugly toes when you finally reveal them and that it won't come up again. Thing is, though, it's a part of you and it's not something you can help. I'd personally rather have a person be honest and say "yeah those are wicked ugly toes" and then proceed to just act normally, than someone who looks at them and goes "they're not ugly, they're beautiful" because I know they're ugly and they're basically just lying to make you feel better. Yes, the latter might make you feel better in the moment, but eventually it'll feel like they're ignoring or not "seeing" all of you, which isn't good in a relationship.
Its okay to feel damaged....its okay to not be okay....but after a certain point of time you have got to ask yourself these questions....till when? Till when will you let yourself stay damaged and for whom have you stayed like this for so long? Really ask yourself this if u really do need someone to save you.....if you think you do need someone....be that person.....no one can save you or heal you until you decide to save yourself or decide you need healing.......Be your own hero and never be afraid of being alone dear.....coz God will be by your side no matter what.....Accept yourself first and try to be the best version of yourself...be the person you always wanted to be.....! BEST of luck people!
people who distrust your love tell themselves youre trying so hard cause you have something to compensate for. Some wrong to make right for yourself, selfish, instead of just believing someone really likes you. Thats my whole family. That took me a good solid 15 yrs to figure out..
I love Matthew. He has much wisdom.
Do you need help
I can recommend a great spell caster who can manifest your ex back as he did mine
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He can bring Matthew back for you ::::
I can recommend you to someone who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too
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I haven't been able to find the time when it's taking place. Thanks Matthew!
2020 was my best year
someone great and powerful who who helped me get my ex back he can also render you help just as he did mine too
Whrsapp him
Thanks Matthew, looking good by the way... loving the haircut😊
I am not attracted to the person who ignores me. My brain is hardwired exclusively.