Tips for Avoiding Stalkers

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  • Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
  • Join Dr. Carlos Vazquez and Kelly Carlson with guest Dr. Eric Hickey. They look at the real dangers of stalking and what safety measures you can take.
    Stalkers come in 3 different types:
    1) Nuisance stalkers: The type that send unwanted gifts, use technology to stalk their prey through text messages and phone calls etc.
    2) Obsessed Stalkers: Those who can be delusional, usually will follow celebrities and show up in someone's home uninvited.
    3) Angry Stalkers: Usually those who feel wronged or rejected. The abusive ex usually fits this profile. More often than not, these will be the stalkers that are violent.
    Women are at a higher risk for stalkers, while celebrity women (or women who are depicted in public places like billboards) are at an even higher risk for stalking as they seem more accessible to stalkers. While there is no surefire way to prevent against a stalker, being aware of the signs and getting help are key to your safety. If law enforcement does not believe you are being followed, keep record of events to back your statement.
    Dr Hickey is currently the Dean of the California School of Forensic Studies at Alliant International University where he oversees the growth and development of the largest forensics studies program in the United States. He makes frequent media appearances including interviews on CNN, History Channel, NPR, Larry King Live, 20/20, A&E Biography, Good Morning America, CBC, True TV, Discovery and TLC.
    He has qualified as a subject matter expert in state and federal courts involving criminal paraphilia including pedophilia, child molestation, Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome (CSAAS); fetishes; stalking; adult rape and sexual assault, Rape Crisis Syndrome; domestic
    For more psychology videos related to stress/anxiety , please visit:
    therapycable.co...
    ~-~~-~~~-~~-~
    Please watch: "Cluster C Personality Disorders Information(Obsessive-Compulsive, Avoidant, Dependent)"
    • Cluster C Personality ...
    ~-~~-~~~-~~-~

Комментарии • 126

  • @orietrecknell2982
    @orietrecknell2982 4 года назад +27

    Stalkers are dangerous and certainly sick. You only know how it feels if you have been on the receiving end of a stalker. Police are there to protect you. Report every incident until the police get fed up with you and start taking you seriously and then they will act.

    • @Martin-zr2tb
      @Martin-zr2tb 4 года назад +1

      Yes it’s creepy , i think they find it romantic ? In some weird way if they aren’t doing it as a group or it’s a thing where they like to do it and maybe involve others and hope to wind up with you one way or another and hope you don’t know about all the stalking? So it’s like they have that weird perverted naivety in the relationship to get off on without the potential person knowing and stuff ,
      Control issues because they feel weak and powerless or lack of control

    • @orietbardot1534
      @orietbardot1534 4 года назад +1

      @@Martin-zr2tb you are right. Stalkers have the ridiculous notion that stalking will win you back, but in reality it just does the opposite and drives you further away. I actually wrote to my stalkers parents about his antics and they believed me, but he was hopping mad and shouted through my letterbox that what I’d done I would regret. Didn’t stop him stalking me, but I got some good pictures of him and eventually I got him to court. It’s definitely a control matter or should I say the fear of losing control. Of course apart from trying to control you, in the stalkers mind, he has an emotional investment in you and maybe has spent some money on you as well, so he believes you are quite rightly his. Read my previous comment right at the top, how you can stop this. It will take some work on your part, but you can do it.

    • @YvetteArby
      @YvetteArby 3 года назад +3

      Oriet Recknell: I had letters that my stalker had written to me that were 5 or 6 pages at a time, in tiny 5 point font. I told the police and showed him the letters, but he told me that the stalker hadn’t actually *done* anything. So I said, “Oh, okay, so I have to wait until he actually kills me?” Smh
      Thankfully, after Rebecca Schaeffer (the celebrity mentioned in this video) got killed, laws were changed. But it happened too late to help her. RIP

    • @orietbardot1534
      @orietbardot1534 3 года назад +3

      @@YvetteArby they said even after they seen the letter, he hadn’t done anything. That’s rubbish, the sheer fact that he wrote to you, means he has done already something which frightened you enough to go to the police, so that is intimidation or worse.the police did not do their job and you would have had rights to report the neglecting officer.

    • @peanutbutterpancakes7
      @peanutbutterpancakes7 3 года назад +2

      You're wrong. The police are useless. I know this from personal experience.

  • @Zzźzzzxg
    @Zzźzzzxg 2 года назад +9

    When that one stalker feels like he's worthless and knows their target will never give them whatever it is they're looking for then they'll get more and more people to gangstalk you.

    • @nicoladouglas3270
      @nicoladouglas3270 2 года назад

      Yes they get others to stalk you as well...going through the exact same thing...my stalker been stalking for a year and his minions make it obvious that they are stalking on his behalf....I got a baton by my door...I will use it even though in the UK it's an offence to have such a thing...Baseball Bat..... Can't rely on police.....so I got to protect myself at whatever the cost....that simple....I suggest you get armed..you know your dealing with a certified Nut job...all the best and know your not on your own.

  • @velvetraindrops__7334
    @velvetraindrops__7334 2 года назад +10

    If someone in the police agencies read this and lawyers and other state attorneys do, please notify the victims to the perpetrator that's getting released. I do hope there is more programs for these victims that helps them financially and blocks them from homelessness and let's them be on foot for a while. If they are in that much danger on consequences take that as a warning and either prolong the sentence or help the victim to move out the country and get ententirly new identification.

    • @tundrawomansays694
      @tundrawomansays694 Год назад

      In my state there is a very active VINE system for victims. I get auto calls on redial that will fill up my entire answering machine capabilities until I acknowledge the message informing me when the Perp is transferred between prisons, when and where he’s released on Parole and the name of the Parole Officer and when he re-offends and is immediately incarcerated. The state where this program is set up/managed is not my own. See what victim resources are available to you-someone dropped the ball here……I’m sorry. We all need protection from these crazy people.

  • @heidismutti
    @heidismutti Год назад +4

    From experience, law enforcement does not understand the stalking laws. I've had a civil stalker harrassing me for the last couple of years. She mostly vandalizes my car. Thousands of dollars in damage, and nobody will do anything about it. It's such a lonely place to be!

  • @musicandeye
    @musicandeye 2 года назад +4

    Great information Dr. Eric Hickey. So happy you clearly understand this and is spreading the word.

  • @fckinasshoe17
    @fckinasshoe17 2 года назад +5

    Ive had to delete all social media, quit my job and move. Ive gotten so used to my ex stalking me i think this is normal. Isolation hurts.

    • @tundrawomansays694
      @tundrawomansays694 Год назад

      Of course it does so stop isolating yourself. You have nothing to be embarrassed about-any shame is your stalker’s alone. Inform EVERYBODY from neighbors to employers, landlords etc. complete with pictures and details so they know who your stalker is and what they look like etc. Your Stalker *depends* on you staying quiet and terrified. Finally, start the legal proceedings by getting an RO. No, they were never intended to “stop a bullet” but legally if it hasn’t been written, it hasn’t been said. An RO starts the legal trail you’re gonna need for a successful prosecution. I know it’s been a year since your comment but for a stalking victim, a week is forever. I’m sorry, wishing you remain safe and be as proactive as possible in regaining your life and peace of mind.

  • @ladyreepatton6342
    @ladyreepatton6342 5 лет назад +6

    I have a neighbor that lives directly across the street from me. He has a wife. But many times when I come outside he comes outside and pretends to have something to do in his yard. But all the time he watching me. When I go back inside he does too. He has gotten another man from down the street to help him stare and act threatening when I come out. He's done it many times. I know he's doing it to be annoying. Several times. he has followed me in his car and returns at the exact same time as I do. I have contacted the police. But they won't tell him to leave me alone. Because it might get worse. I'm 66 yrs old and live alone. It makes me so angry. I am a military vet and will protect myself if need be. I have a wepond I just want to be left alone and live in peace. I dont even know this guys name.its sicking 😣

    • @SeranaKnight
      @SeranaKnight 4 года назад +2

      I'm going through that exact same thing, but these guys are using messenger I noticed, literally there are upwards of 20 cars I noticed following me everywhere.

    • @SuperKarineka
      @SuperKarineka Год назад

      Wow, I have same experience, almost word for word. The police told me that I need video footage for them to press charges for stalking.

  • @klattalexis
    @klattalexis 6 лет назад +18

    Some police officers are themselves involved in their own family violence issues. One officer asked his wife after he beat her, "Who are you going to call??? The cops???" She knew his cronies would not get involved, so yes some officers don't take it seriously but there are others who know all too well what's going on but refuse to take complaints seriously. One group I attended called Against Violence Against Women, our person taking the group told us she had been formerly married to a cop & that guys that do these things, come from all walks of life.
    I wonder if female judges would be better in presiding over these cases than males.

    • @cidercik
      @cidercik 3 года назад +3

      In the UK the police have a playbook of responses to complaints about stalkers. These range from 'you're just paranoid' to 'we can't stop them from walking around' and 'if they don't approach you then it's not stalking' and the ultimate 'we can't do anything until they attack you'. The police will not act.

    • @fernwebb5568
      @fernwebb5568 3 года назад +1

      Some of my gang stalkers are law enforcement officers. I had a legit call when a fake repairman showed up instead of the real one. the deputy laughed at me, harassed me, refused to take a report, treated me like I did not know where the home I own is located and then told me that we would not want to violate the criminals constitutional rights by going after him. Seriously. She continues to harass and now I see she has 4 more buddies in the sheriffs office. And there was a 5th in the patrol car with her laughing at me as well.

    • @melodieperkins7080
      @melodieperkins7080 3 года назад

      @@fernwebb5568 pray and fast. God is able

    • @lisasmith516
      @lisasmith516 3 года назад

      @@melodieperkins7080 I prayed plenty and still got abused... I'm a devout Christian. These demoniacally motivated people get off on causing fear.

    • @lisasmith516
      @lisasmith516 3 года назад

      @@fernwebb5568 Praying for you Fern.

  • @orietbardot1534
    @orietbardot1534 4 года назад +7

    The real problem is that when a rational mind (yours) meets an un rational mind (stalker). That’s a state that can’t be altered, because the stalker has a sick mind.
    You must take pictures each time you see the stalker, so you have evidence. It is even good to let the stalker see that you are photographing. The next step is, let all your neighbours and friends know and show them what the stalker looks like. The more people know this the more protection you have as psychologically they will look out for you and even warn you when the stalker is about. I know to begin with you probably don’t want anybody to know and think you can handle it yourself, but you are wrong and there is no shame in it being stalked. If you can’t photograph make a journal to record it with dates and what happened ( like lurking around by your house at 12pm) take it to the police with your evidence gathered. They will take you seriously and have to act on it. If flowers have been left, make sure you keep them and show them too. I used to wonder how he always knew when I was alone at home, he never knocked when I had guests but as soon as they left he was here. Now here is the thing and take notice. All of a sudden I knew how he did it, he obviously LISTENED by the window or door to see if he could hear me and my friends or family talking, and only rang the bell or knock on the window or door when he thought no one else was at home with with me. I actually tested this theory and said a loud good bye to a friend at the doorstep so if the stalker was watching he would think that now I am alone, but I had two other friends still inside who I urged to be very quiet and low and behold the stalker knocked violently on my window to scare me. We all rushed outside just to see the stalker run away. Now I had two witnesses who actually saw him. We went to court with all the evidence and got an injunction for 1 year. He had to pay a hefty fine. Still he did try once more and broke the injunction, but after that I never seen him again. This stalking had lasted for three years. Although you should never confront or talk to your stalker, at least not alone, as this can be very dangerous. Instead of being scared all the time, use this energy to figure out how you can set a trap like I did. It gives you something to focus on, so the hunted (that’s you) becomes the Hunter. But whatever you do, do not carry a gun, as you might become a killer and find yourself in jail.

    • @giantham2828
      @giantham2828 3 года назад +3

      There was a stalker that tried to break in my house when I was away, he was able to pick and unlock the door when I wasn't home, he even installed viruses in my phone to spy on me, this person is very dangerous

  • @biancapierce639
    @biancapierce639 6 лет назад +20

    He doesn't advocate that women carry guns! If you are being stalked of course you should carry a gun.

    • @orietbardot1534
      @orietbardot1534 4 года назад +1

      No you shouldn’t. Your fear would make you pull your gun and you can find yourself in prison for murder and your kids would grow up without a mum. If you don’t carry one you wouldn’t be tempted to pull it.

    • @capricorn2260
      @capricorn2260 3 года назад

      Unless your from the UK where you can't carry anything apart from hairspray

    • @orietbardot1534
      @orietbardot1534 3 года назад +3

      @@capricorn2260 hairspray is better than nothing, get that in your eyes can be painful, so yes carry hairspray if it makes you feel more secure. A loud whistle to blow is also good, it alarms everyone around you and the stalker might just run off.

    • @SuperKarineka
      @SuperKarineka Год назад

      yes, train well and carry. Some states even allow open carry.

  • @lianasadoyan5626
    @lianasadoyan5626 3 года назад +4

    ADVICE NEEDED: victims can't convince their relatives or friends that they are being stalked. Any apparent actions carried out by stalkers will lead to police investigation. So these creeps are careful enough not to let that happen. For example my stalker wouldn't contact me directly. The bunch of idiots working for the main perpetraitor invite me to like pages that contain illegally obtained details of my daily life, they send friend reqests to people who have posted picture or piece of information that resembles my personal/work/family life. They manipulate my google, fb, insta feed so that it brings results on my page that i have no interest in but contains illegally obtained information. What am I supposed to to in this case? Has anyone had similiar issues? btw in addtition to calls being intercepted, full access to my computer and phone, I am also stalked physically. They also installed device nearby our residental building to monitor my home activities remotely. So I had to change curtains. hat was the easiest part. This has been going on since october 1, 2018 and doesn't show any signs of stopping.

  • @NoNoNoMeansNo
    @NoNoNoMeansNo 3 года назад +4

    I've been getting watched by a neighbor for months.
    My usual routine was to sit in town with family and friends (always the same bench) and I noticed this neighbor always standing at the corner just watching us.
    Now he's been trying to make conversation in the street and if you say hi, he automatically starts following you into shops when you are trying to do your shopping.
    He will come into the shop then go out and wait for you to follow you to the next one.
    It's making me quite angry.

    • @dinacharlayne1912
      @dinacharlayne1912 3 года назад +1

      Family n' or friends may have hired him to kill you. Or it could be a gang stalkers.

    • @diannerussell9653
      @diannerussell9653 Год назад +2

      Get as much information about him. Be your own private detective and when you have enough on him go to the police. Many people just wait in the hope that he might stop it or go away or move away by then it’s too late. Please stay safe.

  • @petitbebe3384
    @petitbebe3384 4 года назад +9

    My ex still stalks me until this day after ten years and he was the one who said he wasn't my beau... Another stalkers follow me spiritually, too close and in their cars...

    • @mariposamoreno
      @mariposamoreno 4 года назад +1

      LONA GERALDO spiritual stalking is the WORST. it's all dangerous asf tho

    • @whoKnew1621
      @whoKnew1621 3 года назад

      What is spiritual stalking?

    • @petitbebe3384
      @petitbebe3384 3 года назад +3

      @Treasure Island_ I BELIEVE SPIRITUAL STALKING IS WHEN SOMEONE OF A FAMILIAR OR UNHOLY SPIRIT, LIKE FROM FAMILY, FRIENDS, STARZ, AND OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD ARE PURPOSELY FOLLOWING YOU AROUND SPIRITUALLY OR WATCHING YOUR EVERY MOVE AND THEY DON'T WANT TO STOP BOTHERING YOU...

  • @capricorn2260
    @capricorn2260 3 года назад +4

    I had a stalker back in college. He would call my mobile and leave heavy breathing sounds on my voicemail, he even managed to get my home number and would call alot once I told him to piss off and he got soo angry started calling me all kinds of names... My parents changed the number. I always had a feeling of being watched when I was going home. I moved out not long after not because of the stalker tho.

  • @5ive69
    @5ive69 10 месяцев назад +1

    I've had real life stalking from an ex friend and his friends and online. I had never been stalked before so I didn't report it. I encourage anyone who's being stalked to file a report, take pictures and video of everything they do to your property. Don't stay silent

  • @ontheroad9121
    @ontheroad9121 4 года назад +6

    You do not mention systematic stalking done by 3rd parties who are doing the dirty work of corporations etc.

    • @lamexhill1113
      @lamexhill1113 3 года назад +1

      100% spot on

    • @Zzźzzzxg
      @Zzźzzzxg 2 года назад

      Organized stalking by proxy
      Vigilante stalking
      Organized mobbing
      Gangstalking groups

    • @POV00005
      @POV00005 Год назад

      🎯🎯🎯🎯

  • @daniellepleasesavethehuman3958
    @daniellepleasesavethehuman3958 6 лет назад +7

    I don't know my stalker he is a stranger nor do i know how long he has been watching me. How long is someone watched and followed before they take notice?? this guy knows where I live now my roommate and I tried to set him up but he drove away... I feel like the cops are pointless in these situations they take toooo long to arrive

    • @karagraham9764
      @karagraham9764 5 лет назад +3

      Danielle please save the humans take pictures of him each time you see him as well as get a license plate number. You can get a restraining order with that info

  • @godlyconsumingfire2526
    @godlyconsumingfire2526 4 года назад +4

    The role of a police officer is to protect and serve.

  • @diannerussell9653
    @diannerussell9653 Год назад +1

    I had a man in the supermarket , a customer, never seen Him before acting strange with just me he seemed to be leaving the other women alone in the supermarket. I was in the candy Isle and usually with items I know what products I like and I know what I want when I enter a store. Only this time the family size chocolates were marked down in price so I had a large selection to choose from. As soon as I turned into the isle my radar went up I have great perception and I am an extremely good profiler. He started starring, he looked like a Predator because I’ve had this behaviour before with men he looked like he was going into some fantasy realm. He was just standing there staring. I felt very uncomfortable. I am 61 years of age and this guy only look like he was in his 40s. If I turn to go to the left he was there if I turn to go to the right he was there I felt very uncomfortable So I just chose a chocolate and got out of there. Even when I left the store after I put my groceries through the checkout he was still acting a bit strange outside the store. I don’t know why some men do this surely their family can bring this to their attention and get them some help I don’t know what Fantasy world this man was in but it looks like a dark world where he was thinking about some sex fantasy but I can’t understand I’m 61 years of age. I guess it just goes to show these kinds of men and man in general don’t care how old you are they only see you as a walking vagina. These kinds of experiences and I have got them in the Catholic Church that I used to attend on a daily basis with men who go into a fantasy world when they look at you and I’m thinking this is a Catholic Church for goodness sake can’t they try to control themselves some of them are even married I had a problem with a catholic priest who was stalking me as well I had to report him anyway that’s another matter.

  • @ahmadizzatshahmieralhamdul4926
    @ahmadizzatshahmieralhamdul4926 3 года назад +1

    In conclusion,in this temporary world have negative people that will disturbing and will interrupt ourselves,they all are evil and wrong doers in this temporary world actually.

  • @craig3714
    @craig3714 4 года назад +3

    Organized stalkers are rampid in NC I have alot of them in my neighborhood they come out every day or night at the same time I do . Then they follow me everywhere I shop & eat and even stalk my social media with multiple accounts . My sitemanagers and maintenance men are in on it . These stalkers alot of them are familiar stalkers neighbors, exes , family members, etc . Definitely abondment & Jealousy and envy play a big role in this I believe. These people are so sick they even put bugs and spyware in our homes to watch our every move .

    • @misselaine384
      @misselaine384 3 года назад +1

      Your story is my story too. They escort out every morning. My next day neighbor is a narc. Men and women. Mexican and African it feels sexual. I am 70 yrs old but I don't look it.

    • @POV00005
      @POV00005 Год назад

      ✔✔✔✔

  • @kellymburton
    @kellymburton 4 года назад +3

    How he mansplains over her and gets more speaking time, and she gets constantly interrupted.

  • @shawannaanderson3226
    @shawannaanderson3226 4 года назад +2

    Awesome lecture

  • @YVXKICKFLAME
    @YVXKICKFLAME 5 лет назад +5

    Please help me, I’m scared

    • @Bhappi137
      @Bhappi137 4 года назад

      YVXKICKFLAME I hope you’re ok

    • @nicoladouglas3270
      @nicoladouglas3270 2 года назад

      Don't get scared...get mad....get armed..go on line ..you can learn some cool moves on how to physically defend your self..... EMPOWERMENT IS PROTECTION....

  • @AutomaticontrollerWW
    @AutomaticontrollerWW 6 лет назад +9

    37.06 minutes to say ; " GET A GUN!" Bravo! klap klap klap

    • @minkasal4422
      @minkasal4422 5 лет назад +1

      That's why I hate watching the news..they are boring af.

  • @kionamcnutt8630
    @kionamcnutt8630 4 года назад +3

    This is my story. Yes, it's like rape.

  • @justheretoinspireyou5803
    @justheretoinspireyou5803 3 года назад +1

    I have a women stalker and her boyfriends they tell people that I am crazy people see me and they withdraw sometimes I enter my house through my balcony and they get really mad because they can’t control/predict me it is annoying I get home and I feel like throwing up no lie

  • @tessalogan586
    @tessalogan586 5 лет назад +6

    Their sickossssss

  • @TheDENTAGE
    @TheDENTAGE 6 лет назад +4

    God that woman talks loud

  • @willowclay3137
    @willowclay3137 6 лет назад +3

    Thanks

    • @Therapycable
      @Therapycable  6 лет назад +1

      You are very welcome! Please let us know if there are other topics you'd like us to cover!

  • @sojoy4463
    @sojoy4463 3 года назад +2

    non sense -my stalker ronald leduc-wife olga,marielle castoguay-jerome seguineau-hugo sauliner bergeron-jessie labrie, docter isabelle gingras sept-iles quebec canada,layla popesco,guillume dumont-thank you for the info

  • @tenanikifya383
    @tenanikifya383 2 года назад +1

    Damian Marley has been torturing and stalking me for years in two countries..can anyone help??

  • @baraka7004
    @baraka7004 5 лет назад

    That flex Ad was horrific 🤢🤮🤯🤯🤯

  • @timlewis7218
    @timlewis7218 Год назад

    Some Leo's are involved in organized "stalking".

  • @shawannaanderson3226
    @shawannaanderson3226 4 года назад

    True. Thank you

  • @janisgoldberg7187
    @janisgoldberg7187 Год назад

    Right but they hang around and don't leave at all!

  • @tenanikifya383
    @tenanikifya383 2 года назад

    And taser and bodycam..

  • @eleanorweiss4217
    @eleanorweiss4217 Год назад

    Left out organized or group stalkers?

  • @janisgoldberg7187
    @janisgoldberg7187 Год назад

    Exactly like Shaquella Robinson that's how she was killed!

  • @kat-75
    @kat-75 Год назад

    Yes yes she should especially if she is getting stalked.. women are the physically weaker sex for the most part.

  • @shannonburninhell8906
    @shannonburninhell8906 7 месяцев назад +1

    Can. A. Naibor. Stalk. A. Person

  • @estherkessler
    @estherkessler Год назад

    Kelly is very pretty

  • @sophiadavenport3959
    @sophiadavenport3959 4 года назад +4

    Practice your second amendment right.

    • @annbell3864
      @annbell3864 3 года назад

      Yeah, just act dumb if you are asked questions. Two can play that “gee I don’t have any idea what you are talking about” game. There was a story awhile back where a man stood outside the daughters window and rapped on the glass and would run away so they couldn’t catch him. Set a bear trap but don’t stake it down and then play dumb when he sets it off. ‘Well, where did that come from? I can’t imagine who would do such a thing. And on my property too…”

  • @fckinasshoe17
    @fckinasshoe17 2 года назад

    Is that jigsaw?

  • @taraarrington2285
    @taraarrington2285 Год назад

    Do you think all stalkers are psychopaths or just cluster B's

    • @tundrawomansays694
      @tundrawomansays694 Год назад +1

      There’s no “just” with Cluster B Personality Disorders. I don’t care what my birth mother’s diagnosis is, I wanted her out of my life completely after terminating my relationship with her decades ago. She stalked, stalked by proxy, used institutional stalking/harassment, hired PI’s who are paid stalkers etc. She continued until her physical death. There were no stalking laws when I was going through this with a very violent Perp known as “mommy.” How I wish stalking laws were in place when I was going through this.

  • @Maya7love77
    @Maya7love77 4 года назад +1

    💜

  • @kjtamf
    @kjtamf 6 лет назад +2

    👍🏻❤️🙏🏻

  • @na-on1wc
    @na-on1wc 3 года назад

    I liked this but it did not tell you what to do.

  • @danamuller5016
    @danamuller5016 7 лет назад +4

    kelly is so beautiful

  • @rondaleestill3360
    @rondaleestill3360 4 года назад

    Mofia