Why I stopped thinking about marriage as a muslim

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  • Опубликовано: 2 дек 2024

Комментарии • 103

  • @desweetaaldhiana7729
    @desweetaaldhiana7729 2 дня назад +61

    i'm a woman. LOL this is my concern, young muslim always talking about marriage and making it as their personality. if you want married, you should be real and PREPARED (improve your communication, emotional regulation, healing inner child, financial plan, child plan, family management, how to build islamic household, etc). they are fantasize their marriage instead having goals and vision in their married, of course they will disappointed and end up divorce. They can't even choose the right patner who have the same goal as you (its should be jannah) and have Too much expectation of their patner because they choose their patner with ego and desire not with iman. a mess.
    These youngsters make me pesimistic about the future of islam, can we talk about serving Allah and solve rotten problem in our ummah? marriage shouldn't be an issue because we have Quran and sunnah as guidance, but we are so weak and ignorant so we have same problem as non muslim who have no guidance.

    • @lonelywhale19
      @lonelywhale19 2 дня назад +6

      im also an older woman and I worry about the future of our men. everyones's got an opinion on gender rules and 'feminine/masculine energy'. so hyperfocused on these issues when instead men should be focusing on how to free palestine. how to make the muslim ummah strong once more. may allah bless us with strong men, strong leaders.

    • @Em0killer13
      @Em0killer13 23 часа назад +2

      With all due respect "healing inner child"...etc is modern pop psychology gobbledygook. Qur'an has infinitely more wisdom and knowledge in it.

    • @ibrahim_-_-_
      @ibrahim_-_-_ 19 часов назад +1

      @@lonelywhale19”men should be focussing on freeing palestine”
      i mean i don’t disagree but the people that are actually in power, saudi, the fact that they are corrupt doesn’t fall on us men. the fact that the corrupt scholars won’t order jihad for every man isn’t men’s fault, it’s theirs.
      also let’s not act like women are blameless. most muslim women in the west strive for feminist qualities over islamic qualities. you aren’t exactly a gem to be with either. especially if you’re older

    • @harismoghal6636
      @harismoghal6636 15 часов назад

      With or without those traits, men and women should strive to get married or else zina would most likely take place in society.

    • @desweetaaldhiana7729
      @desweetaaldhiana7729 13 часов назад +3

      @@Em0killer13 if you don't believe in psychology, definitely not my problem. we can't be naive about how our upbringing influence our future relationship and parenting dynamic. Just because Quran doesn't mention inner child explicitly doesn't mean it didn't exist. like Quran didn't mention giraffe and stingray, doesn't mean those are didn't exist.

  • @Muslim_Motive
    @Muslim_Motive 3 дня назад +27

    If you can, marry
    If you can't, fast
    -prophet Muhamad (pbuh)

  • @ayeshagotnochill
    @ayeshagotnochill 2 дня назад +41

    As a girl nowadays i see that many girls out there are just wanting to have an early marriage and i see myself too in that circle but if we look into it early marriage is not a joke or anything fun like social media has made it two couples posting videos living happy it’s totally different marriage is a responsibility as a wife i would love to do everything for my husband and his family but before that the girl in me wants to do that for my family my parents and after having the self satisfaction that i made it then it’s the time for marriage and we girls and guys are like we want a religious on deen person but we don’t look at our own selves if i want someone who’s going to provide for me then i should be also having all the qualities to be a good housewife and muslim so the first thing is improve yourself and when it will be the time allah himself gonna offer you the love you deserve ❤

    • @itsaishanoor
      @itsaishanoor 2 дня назад +2

      sooo true

    • @ameerabdullah8514
      @ameerabdullah8514 2 дня назад +2

      Really good aproach!

    • @ibrahim_-_-_
      @ibrahim_-_-_ 19 часов назад

      yea yea you say all this then you go on social media and post pictures and have profile pics without hijab 😂
      fix yourself before giving advice to others. there is a consensus among scholars on this matter. one should not preach before they fix themselves as much as they can
      “ Do you preach righteousness and fail to practice it yourselves, although you read the Scripture? Do you not understand?”
      (Quran 2:44)
      &
      Narrated Abu Wail:
      Somebody said to Usama, "Will you go to so-and-so (i.e. `Uthman) and talk to him (i.e. advise him regarding ruling the country)?" He said, "You see that I don't talk to him. Really I talk to (advise) him secretly without opening a gate (of affliction), for neither do I want to be the first to open it (i.e. rebellion), nor will I say to a man who is my ruler that he is the best of all the people after I have heard something from Allah s Apostle ." They said, What have you heard him saying? He said, "I have heard him saying, "A man will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and thrown in the (Hell) Fire, so that his intestines will come out, and he will go around like a donkey goes around a millstone. The people of (Hell) Fire will gather around him and say: O so-and-so! What is wrong with you? Didn't you use to order us to do good deeds and forbid us to do bad deeds? He will reply: Yes, I used to order you to do good deeds, but I did not do them myself, and I used to forbid you to do bad deeds, yet I used to do them myself."
      (bukhari 3267)

    • @ayeshagotnochill
      @ayeshagotnochill 15 часов назад

      @ actually we all are learning no one came islamified we have to grow and find islam on our own while facing all the challenges society culture and so much more so stop judging already only Allah knows the condition of hearts

    • @ibrahim_-_-_
      @ibrahim_-_-_ 15 часов назад

      @ “only allah can judge me”
      yea ive heard it all before. change your profile pic and start wearing the hijab. i’ve seen many people like you, when they get advice, they say, “only allah can judge me or know what’s in my heart”
      what’s in your heart doesn’t matter if you’re sinning publicly
      Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the most beloved statement to Allah is for a servant to say, ‘Glory be to You, O Allah, and Your praises. Blessed is Your name, exalted is Your majesty, and there is no God besides You.’ The most hateful statement to Allah is for a man to say to another man, ‘Fear Allah!’ and he replies, ‘Mind yourself!’”
      Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá lil-Nasā’ī 10619
      Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani

  • @sajidabenmbarek
    @sajidabenmbarek 2 дня назад +21

    As a girl, I don't think thinking about your future husband is a very feminine trait that should be encouraged. I think it's not productive at all. I try to improve myself reading psychology books and relationship advice etc and become my best self before getting in a relationship, but I think your ultimate purpose as a human is to worship God.
    I spent a couple of months not having goals and I went straight up into depression and spiralling with very bad mental health. They may not be career driven but goals nonetheless are important.
    And men with no goals like why do you think you were created, literally wake up, women don't care about your hairstyle if you don't have any substance and know nothing about life or how to be a man. If you have no ambition, like what do you want me to support? How you play FIFA with your friends??
    Also, a very feminine wife with no authority is usually a lenient mother. Think about that before you marry anyone. She will be submissive, but be prepared to be the "bad guy" every time your kids misbehave or to think your kids were not raised properly and then tell your wife she is responsible for their bad upbringing because you are busy providing... I saw this firsthand. You usually don't have this problem with women that have a stronger personality (think ethnic household mums)

    • @rhettcalloway
      @rhettcalloway 2 дня назад +3

      Abdullah bin `Umar said that the Messenger of Allah said, كُلُّ شَيْءٍ بِقَدَرٍ حَتْى الْعَجْزُ وَالْكَيْس Every thing is predetermined, even laziness and intelligence" - Sahih Muslim 2656

    • @sajidabenmbarek
      @sajidabenmbarek 2 дня назад +2

      @rhettcalloway I don't think that's an excuse to not try our best :) Even who goes to paradise and hell is predetermined. Should we stop praying and striving to be better nonetheless?

    • @rhettcalloway
      @rhettcalloway 2 дня назад

      @@sajidabenmbarek The question contains a fundamental misunderstanding. Even if one prays and strives to improve, ultimately, only what is decreed by Allah will occur. This is the essence of "decree" (Qadr).
      The Quran affirms this in an ayah: "You cannot will unless Allah wills." Therefore, when Allah wills good for a person, He inspires them to strive and make positive changes in their life.
      That's why Abdullah (b. Mas'ud) reported that Allah's Messenger s.a.w said: Verily your creation is on this wise. The constituents of one of you are collected for forty days in his mother's womb in the form of blood, after which it becomes a clot of blood in another period of forty days. Then it becomes a lump of flesh and forty days later Allah sends His angel to it with instructions concerning four things, so the angel writes down his livelihood, his death, his deeds, his fortune and misfortune. By Him, besides Whom there is no god, that one amongst you acts like the people deserving Paradise until between him and Paradise there remains but the distance of a cubit, when suddenly the writing of destiny overcomes him and he begins to act like the denizens of Hell and thus enters Hell, and another one acts in the way of the denizens of Hell, until there remains between him and Hell a distance of a cubit that the writing of destiny overcomes him and then he begins to act like the people of Paradise and enters Paradise. - Sahih Muslim
      As for your question-should we stop praying and striving altogether?-that’s not the right way to look at it. The question you should ask is: If Paradise and Hell are determined, how do I know what’s decreed for me? For example, how do I know if the spouse I like is written in my decree? The answer is, I can only know by asking for the spouse’s hand in marriage. It’s not about trying to ensure I will get the spouse; the striving is to see whether or not the spouse is decreed for me, not to make it happen through effort alone. Similarly, I have to pray and strive to see if Paradise is decreed for me, not to change my decree itself.
      Jabir reported that Suraqa b. Malik said: Allah's Messenger, saw explained our religion to us (in a way) as if we have been created just now. Whosoever deeds we do today, is it because of the fact that-the pens have dried (after recording them) and the destinies have began to operate or these have effects in future? Thereupon he said: The pens have dried and destinies have begun to operate. (Suraqa b. Malik) said: If it Is so, then what is the use of doing good deeds? Zuhair said: Then Abu Zubair said something but I could not understand that and I said, What did he say? Thereupon he said: Act, for everyone is *facilitated* what he intends to do. Allah's Messenger saw said: Every doer of deed is facilitated in his action. - Sahih Muslim
      Imran b. Husain reported that it was said to Allah's Messenger saw: Has there been drawn a distinction between the people of Paradise and the denizens of hell? He said: Yes. It was again said: (If it is so), then What is the use of doing good deeds? Thereupon he said: Everyone is facilitated in what has been created for him. - Sahih Muslim

    • @sajidabenmbarek
      @sajidabenmbarek День назад

      @@rhettcalloway thanks, that is a very insightful explanation

    • @rhettcalloway
      @rhettcalloway День назад

      @@sajidabenmbarek You're welcome! I'd appreciate if you could allow me to share a bit more in the hope of gaining rewards, though it's nothing compared to real knowledge. I promise it's interesting.
      Al-Harith relates: A man went to Ali (radhiallahuanhu) and said: "Inform me about predestination". He answered: "It (predestination) is a dark path which you should not tread". he man asked again: "Inform me about predestination". Ali answered: "It is a deep sea" into which you should not enter". The man asked a third time: "Inform me about predestination". `Ali once again answered: " It is a Divine secret that you should not try to find out about. The questioner repeated his question a fourth time, so Ali asked him: "O you questioner, has Allah created you by His will, or by your will? The man answered: "By His (the Almighty's) will. Ali said: "He (Allah) will therefore make you do whatever He wills".
      It is said, When a servant commits a sin and says, "My Lord, You decreed this for me!" His Lord will say, "You are the one who sinned and disobeyed Me!" But if the servant says, "My Lord, I erred, committed a sin, and wrought evil," Allah will respond by saying, "I decreed this upon you and I will forgive you." 😊😊😊
      I'd also like to give advice on the comment you made if that's okay with you.

  • @lagosure9640
    @lagosure9640 2 дня назад +29

    At 6:09 genuine question: Why is it a problem when a woman wants to be financially independent? Being financially independent requires to be focused on a career. Why the boss babe stigma ? I genuinely don’t get it.
    Women relying on men financially has proven itself to be disastrous for them.
    They either stay in abusive relationships because they can’t fend for themselves or leave and suffer the consequences.
    Most moms who were in those marriages tell us to not rely on a man.
    There is a reason women are focused on careers it’s not for no reason, so why are we being stigmatized for it?
    I feel like not looking at how not having a job might impact your future wife is kinda selfish. You might have the best intentions to take care of your wife but life happens.
    Please keep it respectful if you reply I am genuinely wondering.

    • @Mohamed-qz2qs
      @Mohamed-qz2qs 2 дня назад

      There’s nothing with women seeking financial independence but when they do they put their entire focus into it and lose their femininity

    • @TheCastedone
      @TheCastedone 2 дня назад +6

      Being dependent isn't good for anyone and Islam doesn't promote that for women. It's usually culturally motivated.
      Islam promotes women being educated and able to work if need be for herself and family. Men shouldn't want dumb wives.
      Find a balance with your partner. Communicate what you want etc. You want to work and stay home when there are children? Work towards that. In the beginning no reason for the wife not to work. Just sit at home and stare at a wall?

    • @lagosure9640
      @lagosure9640 День назад +13

      @TheCastedone Exactly!! I am always so confused every time I hear men saying “she is busy being a boss babe, an independent woman”.
      I mean Alhamdulillah she isn’t waiting on a man to do everything for her.
      Alhamdulillah she is a motivated and a hardworking person.
      Feminine doesn’t mean you sit down always thinking about your future husband. That’s desperation.

    • @yasminebidiga8469
      @yasminebidiga8469 День назад

      As salam aleikoum sister, I’ll just talk from my point of view. When I was younger I had this idea too and tought that work was « liberating ». Ive been working since the age of 15 because I wanted financial freedom and security. When you’re young its cool, you’re full and energy and it fills up your time and your summers. But As you grow older, you realize how detrimental it is for your health and your peace. In society now its « normal » to be always tired or stressed because of work, because « thats life » and « you have to work to live ». But as a muslim woman, Allah tells us that it is not normal and thats not the live he created for us to experience. As the central figure of your family, as the mother of future kids and the future wife of someone, we are told that it is important for us to cultivate our calm side, our peaceful side, our feminine side. As you work more, and in more places, you’ll realize that it is a very competitive environment, that requires us to be more and more masculine, directive, and colder overall. Workplaces are the roots of many physical and mental injuries (that never really goes away; back pain, depression, etc) (both of which every woman around me are suffering from (they all work). As muslimahs we shouldn’t jeopardize our bodies for something that we want to do, at the loss of something that we have to do and will be asked about by Allah(serve our family). Ofc, I know its hard to trust a man, but that is our test, to learn to lean back, even though we can do these things by ourselves (maybe Because the impact on us is deeper than on men). Allah created us and He knows exactly why, from His infinite wisdom. Its true and extremely sad that some men are unjust in the power lended to them, but they will be delt with by Allah. Thats why, beforehand, its crucial to look for marriage with the right intention and to do everything halal. Its important for ourselves to be on our deen, and to look for someone on deen, because when you are focused on the akhirah, you understand that money doesn’t matter. Men and women should not chase money, nor fight over lt, because money is only a mean trough which you take care of your family and do sadaqa. With that purpose in mind, many problems are solved inshaAllah. (Btw for the «having nothing to do at home », at any giving time we should try to fulfill our purpose. As muslims, we always have more to do, let it be become hafiz, revise your knowledge, find solutions to help the umma, the list is everlasting. As long as there are problems in the world and as long as we are not perfect, we have work to do and time to fill inshAllah. We weren’t created to work, but to use our time to get to know Allah and adore him(p.s.by working, men are adoring Allah, because its their duty to provide, for us its only an hobby and a choice, unless your family needs it) But anyways, you should talk it out with your future husband and be open to his reflexion and vise-versa, while priorising the position of the quran. May Allah, Al Razzaq grant us compatible spouses, forgives our faults and accepts us in jannatal firdaws ameen.

    • @yasminebidiga8469
      @yasminebidiga8469 День назад +2

      *+ I forgot to mention all the sexual harassment that happens on workplaces, for more than half of the women. (And I can attest, that it did happen for me at each of the 5 workplaces Ive worked at). (FIY islamicly we are not supposed to work in mixed environments (I personally wasn’t muslim back then) Unfortunately, most men just think that they are entitled to joke inappropriately with women. Often time being the bosses, which puts you in an uncomfortable power dynamic, that you endure, because you have no clear evidence to prove the inappropriate behaviors. And society always normalizes and banalizes it anyways… and this issue results in maaany woman having more trust issues and traumas that are passed down generations by generations. So ya, those are just some hikmas to reflect upon In shaa Allah, Al hamdoulilah. 🤍

  • @zc2723
    @zc2723 3 дня назад +49

    It's sad how, nowadays, men seek princess treatment while women strive to be masculine and independent.

    • @Athena-qn8cf
      @Athena-qn8cf 2 дня назад +5

      Fr. Its so sickening

    • @melompat
      @melompat 2 дня назад

      So men doesn’t allowed to have preferences and standard? You are a true simp..

    • @ameentheking8957
      @ameentheking8957 10 часов назад

      @@Athena-qn8cf fr thats why we cant find true love

  • @zeekhann
    @zeekhann 2 дня назад +9

    I agree with u akhi..May Allah swt guide all of his servants on right path,Ameen...💌🥀

  • @HafsaMohammed-t6h
    @HafsaMohammed-t6h День назад +15

    can someone please clarify or add detail to these points that i heard because im not sure i understand them fully/ correctly:
    1. you want a wife that spends a lot of time thinking about how to be a good wife, but you wont think about it yourself? how would that lead to a successful marriage ( for example learning each others rights, how to be a good husband emotionally so ur wife is satisfied in ur marriage?)
    a woman is also passionate about self-development, business, etc. especially in a world full of feminine men as u mentioned, its VERY hard for women to enter marriage and fully depend on the man because there are so many rising cases of men having all the power leading to a toxic imbalance in the relationship. we are scared to blindly trust them, especially because there is no dating in islam so we enter the marriage not knowing our spouse in depth and what they could be capable of
    2. yes, i do agree that the man should be a leader and source of comfort for the wife, but as u mentioned at around 4:30, shouldnt a woman also have Allah swt as her priority? not only sitting at home waiting for you, there should be a balance in my opinion. and the man should also have that balance
    3. later on you mention that because the women sees u as a leader figure, she becomes a lot more "feminine". ur definition of feminine seems to be very idealistic, where the women wants to just cook and take care of you. ur definition of "masculine" is based on YOUR work / deen / improvement, while her being feminine is ALSO catered towards U, making sure ur well fed and stuff? what about her deen / work / passions / self improvement?
    you want the woman to be more invested in the relationship and basically catering towards you, while you give her just a couple hours, or "even 30 minutes" of your time? no relationship is successful when only one person is putting in the work and investment, in my opinion.
    4. at around 6 minutes, you talk about how women are becoming career-oriented, wanting money and being independent. how come u perceive it as a negative thing? genuinely asking . i understand of course if she just wants to have fun in this dunya and not care about raising the kids / seeking masculinity and protection in her husband and stuff of course. but me personally, i want to have extra money in order for my children to have the best opportunities, and also being able to give sadaqah, (part of my personal deen, seperate from my identity as a wife) and not have to fully depend on someone else. i say that last part keeping in mind that many women are terrified of men making their wives fully dependent on them, then turning around and leaving them with nothing. or using that power imbalance to fuel toxic and controlling relationships.
    5. so you would want your wife to not work / stay at home because theres a possibility of her cheating on you? wouldnt there be the exact same possibility for men?
    6. "as men, our purpose is Allah" i feel like this is a repetitive point in ur vid. women also worship Allah swt, we also need to focus individually on our own livelihood and journey. i run a business, before i even got married, and still do. its a source of sadaqah jariyah for me, and i feel like thats important because Allah swt always comes first before anyone, including husband. of course, i work on it very sparingly, i do know that there needs to be a special importance given more to spending time with husband / family. but i will not completely erase it and devote my entire self solely to my husband, its an important part of me / my deen and i live first for Allah swt, not for only my husband. yes, i love things like cooking for my husband absolutely and there should be a balance of feminine-masculine in the relationship, but ur video seems like its saying: man focuses on Allah, woman focuses on man. again please correct me if im wrong!
    7. yes, i love and agree with all your points about how women do respect an ambitious and intelligent man, who also prioritizes his wife and has that balance. but we also know that the women who get used and manipulated the worst ways are those who are the opposite, devoted ENTIRELY to their husband, and do no similar acts of self-improvement or strength, making them powerless. seeking to be the best version of yourself and achieve well in the dunya and akhirah should not be considered "masculine", it is a trait that undeniably needed by EVERYONE, regardless of gender. we ALL have to focus on our deen / prosperity / knowledge while having a balance in our relationships of prioritizing ur spouse. i'm telling u, one of the things my husband admires the most ab me is my drive / entrepreneurship / strength in both my deen and work. in no way does this make him less of a man, crazy because in fact, he's way more successful than me!
    8. "And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect." 30:21. not being a feminist here or anything, but the verse clearly states "spouses" -both husband and wife. brothers, please dont forget your duties of also giving that same love back to ur wife, we really cannot do automatically do it as part of feminine nature if we aren't seeing any effort from husbands side at all to do the same for us.
    to be clear, these are just a few unclear points i found within the vid. please dont take me as some sort of crazy feminist who just wants to live freely in the dunya and have a simp husband or anything like that because i know thats very common. please take the time to read my points and add on to the discussion respectfully. i mean no harm at all, love ur videos, may Allah SWT bless u all abundantly in ur marriages inshaAllah! Jazakallah Khayr!

    • @FahmidaAmin-h6p
      @FahmidaAmin-h6p 14 часов назад +4

      U got the most correct thought. The man is this video has a wrong vision about the feminine traits. His opinion shows that a female is meant to be the nurturer of a male. Where a male is supposed to think about his career and deen. Besides he didn’t like female teachers, because obeying them somehow damaged his masculinity.(in his opinion only men should be the one giving order.)
      I really want to know what his "ideal feminine traits" mean(according to his point). What makes a woman feminine.

    • @lanrelawal2532
      @lanrelawal2532 11 часов назад +1

      I read your comments, I agree with everything you said, but I believe the man in the video is trying to tell us to prioritize purpose first. One thing about the masculine is prioritizing our purpose, instead of thinking of "wife", many men today are fantasizing about the perfect wife but not prioritizing their purpose that would eventually attract their future spouses to them. Women to have purpose but we both know how biologically wired we are as men and women, men Allah created very different from women, Allah gave each of us roles and responsibilities that's needed, for example Allah gave women certain traits because he built them as nurturers and mothers, the men he gave them physical strength so that they can go out there and provide.
      The young man in the video is just talking that we need to get this fantasy love out our head and be realistic with life I believe

    • @Ykn25-c1b
      @Ykn25-c1b 5 часов назад +1

      Exactly ​@@FahmidaAmin-h6p

    • @Ykn25-c1b
      @Ykn25-c1b 5 часов назад +2

      Exactly.....i agree to all your points ....i feel this person in the video has wrong vision or understanding abt life.,...may Allah guide him ......

  • @_zaaphiel
    @_zaaphiel День назад +8

    If you want your wife to take care of you like you're a child then you're looking for a mother, not a wife.

    • @ibrahim_-_-_
      @ibrahim_-_-_ 19 часов назад +1

      you’re lost. women have to fulfill rights and men have to fulfill rights. my purpose as a man is to worship allah, provide my wife with her rights such as financially and physically taking care of her and satisfying her. my rights that she has to fulfill is to OBEY me as long as i don’t ask her to do anything haram and satisfy me
      you have no knowledge of the rights of a person in marriage and yet you are here giving advice

    • @FahmidaAmin-h6p
      @FahmidaAmin-h6p 14 часов назад

      ​@@ibrahim_-_-_u sound like prioritizing worshipping allah and having a career is only allowed for men. Not women.

    • @_zaaphiel
      @_zaaphiel 14 часов назад

      @ read a fiqh text lmao your dalil is fatawa al tweeteryy

    • @ibrahim_-_-_
      @ibrahim_-_-_ 14 часов назад

      @@_zaaphiel 🫵🤡

    • @_zaaphiel
      @_zaaphiel 25 минут назад

      @@ibrahim_-_-_ why'd you send your selfie

  • @madammelizzy
    @madammelizzy 3 дня назад +11

    The keyword in anything
    💫BALANCE💫
    A woman of course can do career,buissness etc of course in halal circle. And both side have to trust with themselfs. Stucking in homes isnt the solution bro. For men, for woman. And as well as you said our purpose is Allah, the other world. And if you r married or, thinking about it you have to know that balance, confidence, trust, patience being more important than usual. Insallah you find your wife the way that you want. Sending greetings🌿

  • @Ganimemaster123
    @Ganimemaster123 2 дня назад +14

    May Allah give us all a nice pious beautiful spouse that will: love us and we will love them; we will both get closer to Allah; elevate each other’s status in this world and the hereafter… Oh lord of the universe. AMEEN!!!❤️🤲🙏

  • @raqboss
    @raqboss 2 дня назад +5

    may Allah reward you for saying this. Too many brothers literally only talk about marriage and it shows the lack of depth in character and the neediness for someone else to complete them. It saddens me honestly

  • @Crazydude.
    @Crazydude. День назад +2

    Salam from Switzerland brother love your video 👍🇨🇭

  • @Sola678
    @Sola678 2 дня назад +1

    Yeah I needed this lowkey, may Allah bless and reward you akhi

  • @jammy2003
    @jammy2003 2 дня назад +3

    I needed this. Thanks so much brother!!!

  • @Hab1bUllah
    @Hab1bUllah День назад +1

    your channel has grown so fast, Allahumabarik!

  • @nadhaaw4748
    @nadhaaw4748 2 дня назад +3

    Salammm, jazakAllah khayr for your insight. Wanted to add, in certain situations it might to be the case that some women have to step up with increased masculine traits of taking lead, etc, as the man was falling short with the leading (ofc with sound akhlaq & values :) ) in the first place.
    Anyway, I guess we cannot generalise but only do our best to be self aware and take responsibility to work on our own shortcomings, as opposed to blaming other than ourselves. And for each of us, our priority must truly be Allah swt & our relationship with Him.

  • @hibakabiri5997
    @hibakabiri5997 7 часов назад +2

    Why didn't you mention affairs that happen because of the husband's? please talk about both side
    Fear Allah.

  • @AkbarKamall
    @AkbarKamall День назад +2

    I'll be honest.
    I thought it was just a problem in the West. But the problem of marriage is world wide. I have heard of 30 and 40 year olds never married. Heck there is probably people over 50 who arent married.
    Men and women should no doubt get married young. I'm talking everyone should be married by 25, and the younger you get married the better.
    But unfortunately in this secular irrelegious society its hard. Birth rates are plummenting and nobody is interested in marriage and having a family. Noone cares about Allah, Islam and the Deen. Everyone is just interested in money and career.
    I'm 26 years old turning 27 in March and I can't find a wife. Its peak.

  • @shaahidrafi3147
    @shaahidrafi3147 3 часа назад

    Thanks akhi for detailed motivation.

  • @bouchraja
    @bouchraja 19 часов назад

    May Allah bless you, I don't know how this video came up when I was thinking about my divorce and leaving it all to Allah if I meet the one for me on dunya life time or not. I'm gonna focus on Allah which means focus on myself.❤ You are really a answer to my thoughts I just had one hour ago.

  • @UswaMazhar-v4i
    @UswaMazhar-v4i 2 дня назад +6

    I really appreciate you saying what you want to say without the fear of offending any “liberals”. Coz We must not be ashamed or scared of something that is right to say.

  • @raystarzee3929
    @raystarzee3929 День назад +1

    i remember many years ago my therapist told me that "imagine you live your entire life knowing you will be single what would you do?" and that stuck with me till this day. At the end of the day we will be alone in our graves nothing else. Its also a wakeup to live your life and continue worshiping your creator. YES there is no issue for finding a spouse , but first work on yourself and realise His plan are always better than ours.

  • @allergictohumansnotanimals5671
    @allergictohumansnotanimals5671 2 дня назад +4

    the way you described how wives treat their husbands hit hard and it's SO prevalent today. that hadith in bukhari comes to mind where the prophet peace be upon him states (paraphrasing) that the majority of the people he saw in the hellfire were women (due to their ingratitude/ungratefulness towards their husbands).

  • @kabirkhan-rb9hq
    @kabirkhan-rb9hq 3 дня назад

    Hello mahi
    That sounds good that your speech can relate to my journey that I use while in 20's.

  • @ahmedsalah8396
    @ahmedsalah8396 6 часов назад +1

    This change was brought about by the laws. The current laws give women the upper hand in marriage. A woman has nothing to lose and in fact ends up winning if she divorces her husband. The husband on the other hand loses his money and kids. The laws have to change to achieve balance and equality in marriage. It's about the laws not education or traits.

  • @RedaReda-vl9ff
    @RedaReda-vl9ff День назад

    I wish you paradise my brother,GOD bless you

  • @invested_inn6728
    @invested_inn6728 День назад +3

    Love the denial; but your red pill ;

  • @omowhanre
    @omowhanre 10 часов назад +2

    Alhamdullilah, I’ve been married for 9 years to the type of man you say you aspire to be. My highest purpose is Allah (not my husband or my kids). Many times your wife will be there for you (not for you or how amazing you think you are) but truly for the sake of Allah out if RAHMA. 30 minutes a day for your wife is laughable. Is she going to be a single parent? You have no idea how much time it will take to cultivate relationship with your children where they both love and respect you. I pray that your wife’s first and highest purpose is not you, but Allah. Ameen.

  • @_zaaphiel
    @_zaaphiel День назад +1

    Umar's rd wife yelled at him. Does that make Umar less of a man? No. Women are more emotional and men need to have self control.

  • @itsmrmahin
    @itsmrmahin 2 дня назад

    *It's estimated that up to 7,000 different languages are spoken around the world but brother choose to speak FACTS. Allahumma barik.*

  • @_zaaphiel
    @_zaaphiel День назад +1

    THE ONLY PURPOSE IS TO WORSHIP GOD

  • @_zaaphiel
    @_zaaphiel День назад +3

    Nah akhi you're redpilled.

    • @manarhazel1715
      @manarhazel1715 Час назад +1

      THANKS I thought I was the only one seeing that.

  • @Pheonix_ash
    @Pheonix_ash 2 дня назад

    May Allah give everyone good naseeb

  • @_zaaphiel
    @_zaaphiel День назад +1

    Only 30 minutes? Really?

  • @itsaishanoor
    @itsaishanoor 3 дня назад +3

    loll. was confused until u said i hope she's thinkin about me 😂😭 allahummabarik!

  • @samia6888
    @samia6888 День назад

    I was thinking about marriage and fantasizing until reality hit me hard, while I was doing all of this, I lost my loved ones. I couldn’t spend the time I wanted to with them because “love” became such an obsession.

  • @_zaaphiel
    @_zaaphiel День назад +1

    Why'd I even watch this video

  • @manarhazel1715
    @manarhazel1715 Час назад

    I'd like to add the women's point of view to explain why things changed. For so long women depended on men to be the breadwinners but ended up getting cheated on despite doing everything at home and working even when their husbands are chilling on the couch. And they are left with nothing. What I've seen times and times on is unhappy broken mothers staying for the kids or because they can't provide for themselves. These generations raised the working independent women who value work more than mariage cause it comes with a sense of security. Men are the ones who killed femininity cause in a perfect world we want to lean on someone and take care of them and be there for the kids. But people are messy and women are done trusting men blindly. What I hated is that you present letting a woman go to work as her exposing herself to other men so she can potentially cheat and that image is disgusting and cannot lead to a generalization. A lot of us want to be part of the world and make something useful of our time instead of daydreaming about mariage. There's nothing wrong with wanting (or even loving) a career and women can contribute a lot to society while having professional relationships with coworkers. For those who want kids of course they should put them first and lean on their husband for the financial support when the time comes, but once the kids are no longer so dependent, mothers can do other things than being a mother. AND you can't associate working and wanting to travel and have hobbies with masculinity that's just rediculous

  • @_zaaphiel
    @_zaaphiel День назад +2

    Audubillah min ash shaytaan ir rajim marriage is IBAADAH

  • @azimdaanish
    @azimdaanish 2 дня назад

    Good points

  • @UswaMazhar-v4i
    @UswaMazhar-v4i 2 дня назад

    Also I think you have a round face so ducktail beard style would suit you.

  • @BlacFireSan
    @BlacFireSan 2 дня назад

    Good video

  • @invested_inn6728
    @invested_inn6728 День назад

    Love the denial; but your red pill ;
    We just need you to be more RED!
    Peace be upon you

    • @jojos9788
      @jojos9788 День назад +2

      Nobody's red pill. We have Islam and that's IT

    • @24hrz46
      @24hrz46 6 часов назад

      You’re not your 👍

    • @Sh.addehlwi
      @Sh.addehlwi 5 часов назад

      Redpillbluepill bullshit.
      Islam is Islam.

  • @Zeinan-j5u
    @Zeinan-j5u 2 дня назад

    naseeb