these men are "too nice" to get dates
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
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No matter your gender or sexual orientation, remember this! If they cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you!!
Yep, and causes them to struggle with trust issues, so much that they ruin a friendship over a little white money lie 🙄
That is so fucking right!!!
But... but I can fix them! 😭
@@sigmascrub using a hammer
Yeah, this kind of mentality unfortunately doesn't see gender or sexuality even if the majority are cis, het, allo men
If you're only nice to someone in a transactional way ("if I'm nice to you, you'll give me something I want") then you're not nice.
This is the problem with weak liberal men.
@@professorfoxtrotThis is the problem with weak bait.
The sad thing is that the people who need to understand this most could not, even if they tried. Which they usually don't, but how do you teach basic empathy and altruism?
This.
@@cynister7384Wannabe rage baiters. Like I'm enraged by your lack of effort 😂😂
"8th grade"
"she looked exactly the same"
bro I hope not
That's the worst part of that post too, like he spent years fantasizing about having kids with someone who was a CHILD when they last met. Insane behavior
I said the same 😭
As a gay man, a not-so-fun-fact for the straights is that we have nice guys in our community too! Some of these messages look like they could've been ones I've had sent to me lol
And this is why i’m aro
‘Nice guys ™️' scare me
Unfortunately, Nice Guys(TM) exist in every demographic
so its just men, not just straight men. its just men being weird as fuck 😭
You poor soul
All types of guys can be “nice guys” unfortunately
"I treat you like a goddes" = I do not see you as a person with human needs.
I wasn't expecting the video to have been this new when I clicked on it
Fr
Same 😅
Always excited to watch your videos love your content don't date full stop but always love your videos you are a fun person someone should respect when you want to be left alone
Aswell
@@liamodonovan6610 Sooo real!! I'm ace so I feel the same way
You try a million ways to say no politely and when they keep pressing and pressing and you finally just flat out say no/not interested, they say you're a b*tch bc you have "an attitude"
To paraphrase Tywin Lannister: "Any man who must say "I am a nice guy" is no true nice guy"
"I am *not NICE*" -- Joffrey Baratheon
I used to be a chud that was pissed off hearing 'Guys that are too nice it becomes a turn off/red flag' but now that Im a woman...Uhh, I get it. Being too eager is a bit concerning
I will never get tired of this joke format.
@@PlatinumAltaria The 'weird guy to woman whos gone through a paradigm shift'?
@@Our_Remedy Yup
Men need to stop simping for feminism. It's pathetic.
The difference between dating and a dick pic is the same as the difference between window shopping and banner ads. In the first case you are looking to engage in that way (potentially, not necessarily true if you are ace or aromantic) and are therefore relatively open to being exposed to the other person's genitals if things go well, but in the other the thing is putting itself in your life when you are trying to do something else. Maybe I'll buy your water bottle if I'm looking for gym items and it happens to be on sale, but if I see it in a targeted ad interrupting a youtube vid I'm like "Fuck off, I'm watching cartoons right now."
To be clear this is a facetious comparison.
I love how her plushies just slowly keep falling down as the video goes on lmao
When that guy asked what you were doing I would have responded "Sorry, I'm rushing back to my hotel to take a shit. Bye."
The only “I don’t like that your too nice to me” kind of thing I can imagine is like someone obsessively buying gifts or things for their partner and that partner doesn’t like that kind of attention. It happened to me where a guy just kept buying me gifts and stuff cause he wanted me to like him but I just felt uncomfortable
I feel comforted that you feel the same way I do about calls and FaceTime bc the amount of guys that have been really upset bc I won’t FaceTime them 24/7 is insane like pls don’t call meee😭
0:35 As the old saying goes, shared pain is lessened pain.
"I'll treat you like a goddess." Cool, when can I expect the first human sacrifice? 😂
The first story took 20 years off my life
It’s time to stop just brushing these boys (derogatory) off, it’s time to scare them. Tell them we’re leaving a scene we shouldn’t be caught at, on our way to collect our bone order from the mortician, reporting to our parole officer, etc etc
the 7:00 story is INSANE. Prime example of people not realizing they're CREEPY AS H*LL. Reminds me of dudes that had crushed on me in middle school too omg the trauma
I loved this one just cause i reacted as viscerally as you did haha
>I don't give my number out to strangers
>Well I'm trying to not be a stranger!
Men will literally use the same pick up lines that Pennywise the clown uses on kids in IT and not see the problem.
As a man, the speech about getting out if you're ever made miserable has given me anxiety. I love my wife so much, but I never know if my negative emotions are justified anymore, as no matter what it is, if I feel sad, disappointed, annoyed, or even angry, I'm treated like those emotions ara a burden upon her. I've tried pushing those feelings down, avoiding talking with her about ehat bothers me, using that pent up energy to keep busy, ANYTHING to try and keep those feelings from being a bother to her, and I'm told condescendingly "Stop", "Is this how you're going to be?", "Don't Mope", "Get Over It", "If I can _____ why can't you just deal with ____", and so much more. I've been going to therapy to learn how to handle my feelings, but the #1 thing I'm told is to communicate... but, isn't that going against her feelings? I... I don't know....
(honestly don't even tell me you used to have a crush on me, that will also put me on high alert. If i didn't feel the same i would start to panic)
Ok, respecting your partner 100% of the time, yes, but if I'm woken up before 9am on a weekend, do not expect nice.
But then, I'm aro, so, not a problem
You can explain to your partner that you don't do talking/socialising before X time, and they should respect your need/boundary and give you the time and space you need in the morning.
If they then interrupt you during that time, for some important reason, you can respect their need for your attention on that occasion because you know they would usually give you space.
As with everything in a relationship, it's all about communicating needs and boundaries, and sharing consent. 😊
yeah I used to question what I did wrong and why a girl didn't like me in high school and what I could have done different. Then later I learned to see it from other peoples shoes and imagine a woman I'm just not attracted to and will never be attracted to asking what she could have done different or why I don't like her. Oh duh, attraction just works that way.
Like I've had instances where someone shows interest and I come on too strong or I'm just too weird and my personality is offputting for them, and then there are ones that just aren't physically attracted to me and its just never going to be a possibility. Guys need to get over a woman saying no and just move on with confidence (and respect the women saying no in the process).
Like dude, you getting all hung up on her saying no might be the one of the defining factors of why she said no.
OMG PIG EARRINGS I LOVE PIGS AAA
dude i'm autistic so i also hate when people don't give me a clear compliment so i wouldn't have replied either.
saying 'you look nice' is something i can say thanks to but comments on socials like 'ohmygosh !! ❤❤❤'
saying thank you to that doesnt make any sense ^^;
'oh my gosh'
'thanks!'
my autistic brain will never get it.
Honestly whenever a guy tries to say "I'm just being nice why don't you like me" or any variation of I tell them I don't want nice, I want kind. Cause nice is a mask, it's superficial and all about getting recognition for the nicieties one shows. Kind requires empathy however, it requires one to care, to reach out and do what is right. Nice is staying quiet because you're afraid of how people will percieve you. Kind is standing up because someone needs your help even if people will react badly to you doing so. Nice is a Toxic Lie. Kind is a Benevolent Truth. So if you describe yourself as nice of course I'm not going to go out with you.
"Don't call me unless you're my mother" is such a mood
5:16 you go girl!
Omg your so beautiful! I
just LOVE your hair!!😍😍
The actual nice guys do very well. Those were not nice guys they had issues.
My ex keeps trying to get me to cheat with him...I'm so nice because I'm giving you a chance to be with me again...last dick pick got sent to his girlfriend
Love your videos!
15:56 i don't know your life, it's non of my business, those are some very good words, i hope you apply them to your significant other and don't make them feel miserable or like a wallet.
14:50 Me, me, me, me, me, if you want a nice guy be a nice gal, if not - not. It's that simple. You show that you want to be the center of attention and are not fine reciprocating, so odds are you won't find someone who respects you, it will either be out of obedience or because it ups his body count (and probably not love), but that is the choice you made for yourself.
A video suggestion for if you want to upload another politics-related video: bentkey (the daily wire streaming service?)
8:39 love FaceTiming my besties 😭❤
"Please don't stalk the girl who told you to not contact her again and blocked you"
"🤔 I need a second opinion on that"
W H A T
Just date her younger sister.
@@professorfoxtrot trueee, so much easier🤣
That part! OMG!
@@professorfoxtrotor maybe he should leave her and her family tf alone? just like how you need to leave kiwi alone "HURR DURR TOXIC FEMININITY FEMALE SCARED TO DEBATE ME U FEMOID NEED VIDEO TO CELEBRATE ME 🤓🤓🤓🤓"
@@professorfoxtrot humor check? Please I’m worried, I know many guys actually go predate on the little sisters, it’s not funny it’s terrifying
"I'm gay"
"I can change that"
"I'm gonna throw up on you"
Just hand them a box of estrogen pills🤣
“I don’t think one dick will outweigh all the pussy that turned me lesbian” would be my response 😂
@@ampeyroomg yes
(estrogen is expensive tho)
(they still won't have a good personality)
@@peculiar-pan Fair point 🤣
Anyone who wants to claim to treat me like a queen is going to have to pay taxes to my government (my government is my rats and they will accept payment in blueberries).
Blueberries are a reasonable tax m’lady.
Rat tax for your ratties 🔵🔵🔵🔵🐀🐁 I bet they are the goodest ratties with the bestest blueberries.
They’ll still complain about taxes going up
As a rat, i would like blueberries too.
can you PLEASE give your rats a pat and a blueberry for me. I’m BEGGING.
if a guy refers to women as “those females” GET AWAY. that’s a whole red banner
What exactly does that even mean? "Those Females"... it sounds scary....
That's fucking red bunting
It's the imperial japan flag
Or the ussr one
The same with calling women girls is not good either
Fr if a guy ever refers to women/girls as females or bitches good bye
"I will treat you like a Queen" So, what does that mean? You will demand male heirs and then behead me when you can't deliver that y chromosome?
Yes, this guy was actually henry tudor
“I’ll treat you like a queen/goddess” pretty much means basic shit like pumping her gas for her, pay for her food on a date, not be physically abusive, buy flowers on valentines day, not rude etc. These idiots think theyre these special rare guys for doing basic favors & gestures that anyone is capable of doing
I love finding Tudor references in random places
Men should never put a woman on a pedestal. A man should treat a woman with a stern forcefulness that she understands who the boss is.
Oh and don't forget you have to accept being cheated on A LOT...
And you can't do anything about it, and if you get caught cheating, you die
That guy would kill his gf and then in court say "i killed her only one time, it's just 1% of the time! Other 99% were good! Stop focusing on negative stuff!"
I read this one time and it’s always replays in my head while hearing niceguy stories:
When a man says ‘No’ it’s the end of discussion, but when a woman says ‘No’ it’s the start of a negotiation.
It’s like they see it as a challenge to weedle their way into getting a number or a hookup.
And this leads to a very disrespctful relationship, if a woman accept an advance that she doesn't want to, this gonna be carried to bedroom too, I hear guys saying that if a woman ask them to finger butt them, it's the end of the relationship, wich is pretty reasenable, but they can go anal at any time they wish even if the female partner din't ask for that. Unfortunetely women are viewed as beings to be counquered and violated, while men are viewed as people that deserve respect and putting up boundaries that cannot be traspassed.
@overlordfemto7523 Who are they? Is this even relevant?
@overlordfemto7523 bro your com has been deleted but I can still see it. I don’t even know if I can take this seriously because you’re a popular loser now. My heart goes to all the victims of SA, yes, even men, but you are a special kind of lesser demon that only exists to be an inconvenience
@overlordfemto7523nevermind wrong matt oops
6:35 honestly, the girl was super polite with her response. He came on way way _way_ too strong, and anyone fantasizing about having kids with a stranger likely isn’t psychologically sound.
Also add he pick the name for the kids that suppose to be a we thing not a you thing did this guy though she'll just accept it and doesn't her choice of name she'll like better
@@USSAnimeNCC-it doesn't even matter she didn't even know him like that 😭
Also she says please don't contact me again, so he decides to call her and finds out she (rationally) blocked him, so his next step is to go to her work?! Big stalker vibes
that story in particular just gave me a really strong vibe of someone who might have issues related to social cues and appropriate behaviors, whether it be due to a disorder or just not being properly socialized. it's still creepy as hell, don't get me wrong, i just think that some of these guys probably have a lot of underlying issues that cause them to have interactions like this that lead them down the nice guy pipeline, it's kind of sad. (although of course stuff like that never justifies their actions, i think it's just an aspect that's overlooked in some circumstances)
Being polite, smiling, going along with a conversation, etc. are often also ways of getting out of a threatening situation.
I can see how "I had the biggest crush on you in high school" can be a fun thing to say.. If you're no longer interested in her.
But saying that and then asking for her number really feels like "and I've been following you ever since"
“Hey I’m FaceTiming you to tell you our future babies names!!!”
"I had a crush on you in highschool, not anymore though... Because now we're dating but you just didn't know until right now."
It can even be a half decent way to see if there's a flame to be kindled if you play your cards right. But that was... something else... 😰
Yeah " i had a bit of a crush on you in highschool" is a lot different than admitting you were and still are obsessed with them. you can give a hint and then go back to being completely platonic and it opens the way for them to respond in kind or keep it platonic. Dudes need to stop revealing their deepest secrets 10 seconds into a conversation.
If he was normal and just talked to her like a new friend, they could’ve developed something after a few weeks or months without making it weird and that would’ve added a cute story to tell, but it feels like seeing her again just awakened his feelings
It’s like he has crushes like when he was a kid? Like he didn’t learn differently?
I actually get startled if I'm complimented in the street because normally it's a pickup line but in the RARE chance it's someone just being nice, it's refreshing but then I'm shaken like oh wow there's still nice people in the world😂
My friends say "queer people catcall too"
As someone who has been in an abusive relationship, what she has said is 100% correct. If you are scared because of security reasons, such as you feel like you will have nowhere else to live, there are resources and shelters that will help. You will not be a victim, you will be a survivor.
The problem is that men are too nice. Men need to be more imposing
@@professorfoxtrot your dad was real imposing last night
@@heatherdukeswifeandgirlfriend like father like son.
@@professorfoxtrot if this is what you truly think, then have fun being single the rest of your life.
@@SappyDuder I am a prize to women. The problem is that these weak try hard liberal simps are what they're trying to escape. It's why 50 shades of grey is popular among women - they want strong dominating men who will spank them on occasion
Guy: "I'm one of the nicest men out there."
Same guy: "You'll probably die alone."
@overlordfemto7523better than having friends like you!
@overlordfemto7523 better than be with someone like you!
@overlordfemto7523 Most of these people are already less lonely than you. "Overlordfemto", I keep seeing that name everywhere and every time it’s a mountain of crap. Are you trying to tell me that you’re NOT alone for doing shit like this? I don’t believe it, you’re sad
@overlordfemto7523 You know, at least cats help with stress and depression. Men only cause it. So yeah, I'd also choose a cat over a guy like any of the guys in the video any day of the week.
Headphones=DO NOT DISTURB.
Of course that doesn't stop men from harassing people.
I’ve been in the library doing my research and had a random lady next to me try to chat with me when I had on my over the head BRIGHT BLUE and black headphones on… granted this happened weeks ago, but a few weeks ago a guy tried to strike up a conversation again on a research day…again I had my headphones on. Both cases I was listening to music while I did my research so I only knew either of those people were there because I noticed movement.
So I’d say that if people in general want to disrupt what you’re doing to chat, or ask for you to watch their things, ect their going to do it no matter what sadly.
It’s actually encouraging to them because you’re already quiet and on your own, trying not to bring attention to yourself. Perfect victim
“But I apologised!” Yeah and I didn’t accept the apology
Insane how some people think you need to accept an apology no matter what they did.
Too many weak liberal men
@@brook_angel In all fairness that's what we teach children. When you do something wrong you take the punishment then apologize. In return the person forgives you and you're off the hook. How many times have you been forced to say that when you didn't mean it or were forced to say 'that's okay' and hug your sibling to show no hard feelings? I wonder why so many adults think that's true?
@@42ayla I guess maybe? But I don't really think applying simplified children's logic to adults is useful.
I expect adults to realize that somethings just aren't forgiven on a whim even if you earnestly apologize.
Yeah I don't accept apologies as a rule. Don't even bother saying sorry to me, idgaf! 😄
“I treat you like a goddess” my brain thinks about how Zeus treated Hera. “I treat you like a queen” my brain thinks about Katherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn
What if it’s Elizabeth II and he just wants you to fix his jeep?
The amount of times I’ve had men immediately asks me about kinks or anything sexual I’m just like “I just met you like two days ago on an app calm down”
Ask to kinks is a code for anal in 90% percent of time.
@overlordfemto7523Feminism is like the exact opposite of that?
@overlordfemto7523feminism is when man horny
@overlordfemto7523No, you can thank creepy guys in the 60s thinking the sexual revolution/women's liberation meant women were obligated to sleep with them unless they had a very good, provable reason why they couldn't. That Free Love meant promiscuity was now required and if a woman still had sexual boundaries she was totally square and a slave to the establishment.
God these "nice" guys seem like they just have bottled up all emotions but they let it out on people who dont want it at all, like sir this is a cosco no i dont want you to date me i want security to take you away.
Because they’re usually straight men who have no outlet for their emotions because toxic masculinity has told them it’s not okay for men to show emotions
This is a cosco😂
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s”
And then they seem to think they're entitled to your attention, time and sympathy.... because they think you OWE them because they were "so vulnerable with you, opened up to you, shared my pain with you.....
so feel pity for me and date me!!!!“🙄
Dude I didn't even ASK for your life story wtf?
A lot of these people need help to learn to love themselves. That's not an excuse, not sympathy. Just....damn. A lot of people need therapy, not a relationship.
Hot tip: if a guy is a creep toward you, just banshee shriek as loudly as you can in his face. No words, just “EEEÉEÆÆAA.” Make em think you’re fuckin insane so they never talk to you again
Idk, some dudes are into batsh*t
You are AWESOME lmaoooo
Start doing the Gangdam Style dance and scream the lyrics at a breakneck decibel level, "ØŒPÆ ĞÆNĢĐÆM §ŤYŁƏ"
@@Nothanie an excellent suggestion, I love it
OMG, you must know my daughter and her friends.
love the earrings! So silly
I feel like a lot of these dudes have main character syndrome. Like every romantic encounter is "winnable" if they just input the right code. As opposed to the fact that there are, in fact, people who aren't going to be attracted to you, whether or not you're attracted to them
They have the best earring collection, I swear.
The oldest form of magical belief is love magic, the idea that you can somehow get people who aren't interested in you to become interested. You cannot. Finding a partner is about meeting a compatible person, not latching onto someone and trying to make them like you.
i honestly believe that their view of romance is heavily influenced from tv shows where grand romantic gestures are seen as the norm, no matter how uninterested or taken the love interest is, and the protagonist wins over the love interest with "persistence" after being rejected, and video games, where you can just throw gifts at a character to raise their hearts until they like you.
it sucks, because i love video games and stories with romantic elements myself, i'm a sucker for romance, but it can be super unhealthy if you don't have any other frame of reference for how relationships really are and assume that real relationships are like how they are in media. it definitely isn't an excuse, at a certain point you need to learn how real life works, but that's just something i thought about.
@wynn1587you really just come off as incredibly sexist. You ok?
@overlordfemto7523Griffith would let you get railed by a hundred demons and wouldn’t blink twice if it would get him what he wanted. 😂😂😂😂
A few years ago I was talking to a guy from Tinder. We had plans to meet the coming weekend. One night I said I had to go to bed because I had a doctors appointment in the morning. He asked what kind, and I replied with “OBGYN” and fell asleep.
I woke up to like 20 texts from this grown man, accusing me of all kinds of things.
-that I had a kid I lied about
-that I was pregnant with another man’s child and was trying to baby trap him
He even mansplained to me what an OBGYN is and why women go to them. But he left a few key reasons out. I was going for a pap/STD screen(didn’t think I had any, but never hurts to check), and birth control.
When I explained it to him he apologized profusely, and got mad when I said I wasn’t interested anymore. I had to block him on everything. Shit was bonkers bananas.
Smart move on disconnecting with him, he jumped to some insane conclusions. I hope he eventually learned from it, for the sake of his future dates/relationships.
Honestly if you steal a girl away from a guy that is not as big of a flex as you think, convincing a cheater to cheat is not an accomplishment.
Not to mention the age old truth of “If they’ll cheat WITH you, they’ll cheat ON you”. Definitely not a flex.
I've been told a few times that I'm "too nice" in a tone that implies I'm being manipulative because I want something. And for a long time that baffled me and i felt misunderstood... Until this year I really started to self reflect much more deeply, and I realized I'm definitely being performative in my niceness, because I DO want something. I want to be safe, and I want to exit an interaction not feeling like I've been judged harshly. Basically, I am manipulating people into liking me so they will essentially not have any reason to ab*se me or cause me any form of distress.
Does anyone else relate to this at all? Ive got social anxiety and agoraphobia, so it makes sense I've created a mask when im interacting with people i dont know very well.
i also do that all the time, towards literally everyone who isn't in my closest friend group (the only ppl i feel 100% comfortable and safe around) - it's probably bc of my ✨childhood trauma✨
I don't really think being nice to people is a manipulation, unless you're actively attacking them behind their back.
I’ve only ever heard someone tell someone else “you’re too nice” in a tense yet avoidant tone in the context of someone believing that said person is displaying desperate levels of anxiety.
So whether they intended to communicate that they viewed you as manipulative or not, I’m guessing that you ended up displaying a level of anxiety & desire for affirmation/acceptance that made them uncomfortable.
It’s rough to have that stuff get in the way of communication & connection, but I hope that your understanding of the role that anxiety disorders play in these experiences of yours will eventually lead to you having a chance to consistently explain that anxiety in a way that is listened to. And after they listen, they might be able to respond in a supportive manner rather than a guarded fashion.
Autistic person here. Literally cannot not perform niceness when in social interactions. Like. It's just what I've learned, acting intentionally in ways that I know people will like.
My rationalization is (since I can't really just not do it) that as long as my intentions aren't malicious and I'm not making the person do something they don't want to it's okay.
I'm just impressed that you sucesfully do it.
I tried that for a while back in college, I was just too socially incompetent, and since then I decided to just stop trying to influence people, and hope they didn't paraedolia anything too offensive out of the white noise that is my dumb face.
That, until I find the proper coach or prefix-therapist to help me fix the mess.
Dude who was going to visit his crush at her WORKPLACE gave me chills
Major ick, actual fear
His 8th grade crush no less.
I feel a sort of original sin level of shame. I'm cis male and bi if it matters, but when I was younger I didn't understand as much as I do now about life in general. Who ever really teaches us this stuff? I have fallen into the trap of being obsessed with the first girl who was ever nice to me once, and I know I said some creepy things. I apologized later after a year or two of being out of highschool. She was grateful and cool, but it still haunts me. Like every time I see my gender behaving poorly, I can't help but feel a little guilty by association. Videos like this are so painful to me, but it's important to call out this awful behavior. Part of it isn't our fault, sure; the patriarchy conditions us to think conquest is the only way we can feel good about ourselves which makes our interests feel uncomfortable and rightly scared. So it is a negative feedback loop of being vigilent and feeling ignored. I do think the burden to change is on us, however. We need to be held accountable for our actions, but I also think better education can go a long way. I try to treat everyone with respect and safety is on my mind whenever I talk to anyone new, regardless of gender and sometimes I wonder if I'm too timid. Maybe I don't get many dates from either gender, but I could not live with myself if I knew I coerced someone into a relationship.
TL;DR I'm sorry us guys are dumb. We can change, but The System needs to as well!
I don't like hearing people be called dumb, not even to themselves. You didn't learn something, didn't understand something, you aren't dumb, you're just learning something new and might struggle with it. You have self awareness which is good. If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to the girl?
Btw, this story brings awareness that not all guys learn this type of stuff so I'll be sure to be more lenient if I ever come across a "odd behavior" lack of a better term from men, but not all can be excused though.
For the record, I'm a girl and I sorta do the same thing. Sometimes a bit too mindful to others, it takes some practice not to be so...filtered. I think what helps is know the general good and general bad, knowing yourself, and being yourself. And remember to communicate and apologize if you think the person seems uncomfortable or something like that.
Lead the charge, my dude. No excuses
@@krystalnguyen3285 That's a good point, I shouldn't use the word dumb. There are better words along the lines of "misinformed" or "inexperienced" or whatever. As for my past experience, I don't think I've ever said anything threatening, but I did have a feeling of entitlement and jealousy even though she wasn't seeing anyone at the time. Eventually the frustration caused me to share too many personal details once, like the horny text, but less indignant I should hope, and she checked out. It hurt, but what else could she do?
These days I'm polyamorous and have happily let people explore their own needs elsewhere, even at my own expense, as it were. Nobody owns anyone else. Trust and emotional support is more important to me than hoarding someone for my own pleasure!
I'm a cis bi guy, and outside of the creepy behavior part, I can absolutely relate to this. I did not learn a lot of this sh!t overnight
@@ryankramer8779 And we all continue to learn! We all screw up sometimes and not always from a place of ill intent. Just a misinformed perspective
Listen, I look like a gremlin 99% of the time. FaceTime is the DEVIL.
Same but I HATE texting and hate talking in the phone even more lmao FaceTime is def my fave way to communicate in 2023 lol there’s a whole lot of communication that goes on when you can see body language and facial expressions
@@EsotericThoughts93But do you want people to just FaceTime you without notice, or do you arrange calls ahead of time?
@@maddythelion I like texting enough for shorter conversations. “Hey are you on the way?” “Wanna FaceTime?” “Still down for this weekend?” kinda of texts but if we’re having full blown conversations,then def FaceTime me. And to answer your question,I do appreciate a 5-10 minute heads up before FaceTiming me but it’s def not a big deal for me if you don’t. It doesn’t anger or annoy me in anyway if I don’t get a heads up lmao
I used to think I was "too nice to get dates".
Then I began seing therapists, got the diagnostic of ASD and ADHD, came out as bi and nonbinary and began HRT
Turns out most of my nonverbal language is either "wired" wrong, or i never learned to read or signal it.
So I may have spent years trying to "hit on" people without knowing what to actually do, thinking it's a metaphor or something. And if anyone ever showed any interest in me, I would either never have noticed, or thought they were trying to trick me or were being sarcastic.
Having gender dysphoria and seing an awfull abomination in the mirror didn't help recognising the little positive attention I got that I may have recognised as such.
Now I'll have to try and convince another therapist I don't actually need therapy, but an education. And if maybe they can point me to someone who can provide it.😫
(My communication issues aren't only about relationships, I also can't properly ask for help, argue, console the grieving or show/recognise friendship or admiration, and whatever salespeople do feels like verbal abuse)
The worst "therapy" is to castrate yourself. The only response is to exercise your actual gender (not the pretend one) and be more forceful and confident in your approach. "Non-binary" is the cue of a confused person.
@@appleswithpeanutbutter609 A funny thing I realised at college, and later at work, was that it wasn't really "trouble talking with women", but "trouble doing the romance thing".
I could talk with a female architect about the current project all day. It was the "let's start talking to this random stranger I have nothing in common with and no connection other than they're hot" that was impossible.
That's why I can't hit on men either, we can just be pals.
i mean, in your defense, I'd argue that taking the idea of hitting on someone metaphorically is better than taking it literally (I know this isn't what you meant, I just saw an opportunity. Congrats on hrt and that stuff!!)
@@mellow_mallow Good one.🤣
@@ampeyro shit this is so true. I used to think I couldn't talk to girls/women. Then as I become friends with more and more women I realized, no I can clearly talk to women and be great friends with them, I just suck at hitting on people lol.
Ugh i hate guys who do that. I've had a guy on a bike follow me into an alley, asking for a cigarette. Then he would not stop insisting that he couldn't smoke without some company, and he would not take no for an answer. Then he got off the bike and started to shout after me when i sped the heck up and got out of there and onto a proper street with people. He didnt even take a smoke, but he thanked me as he biked off????
Another time, i was on a very specific liquids and jello only diet for a colonoscopy. I was in the sweets isle, trying to figure out where the jello was and which one to pick. And this old dude turned his carriage into the sweets isle, stopped next to me, and proceeded to try and talk to me about how bad sugars are for people. If someone doesn't answer you the first three, four times, leave them alone. Also got called a b when I walked away without even looking at him, and he turned around and also left the sweets isle. The guy was old enough to be my grandfather. I shouldnt have to have a conversation i dont want to have just because some stranger insists on it.
Piggy earings
My day is now improved
I wanted to boop their noses every time they faced the camera. They were so distracting, I love them
I’m asexual and 31 (didn’t know that was a thing until I was 28) so dealing with men like this has always been extra difficult. At least now I know why, but I haven’t been on a date in a decade, and haven’t kissed anyone since 2012. But I would still love companionship and see what happens from there, I don’t care with whom. So last year when a guy at Walmart started a friendly conversation over some nerdy merch I had in my cart, found out we went to the same school, etc, I thought - you know what, now that I understand my boundaries and don’t feel like something is wrong with me anymore, let me go ahead and take a chance! He asked for my number so we could get to know each other, and I left feeling hopeful.
I wasn’t even OUT OF THE PARKING LOT YET when I got a dick pic. I hadn’t mentioned anything about being ace, but I had made it clear I just wanted to get to know people and go slow.
There’s only one potential partner since I’ve figured myself out who was fully supportive and affirming of my being ace, but they are a very sexual person so we just wouldn’t be compatible in the end. I’ll just be a spinster with my three cats and one dog I guess 😂
I hope you can find that companionship with someone one day!! Being aromantic or asexual (both in my case) can make it difficult but I have hope things will work out for you!!
As another ace I just don't get the fascination with sex. I'm not sex repulsed, I am quite the opposite actually, but I hate how people are so dirty and vulgar about it.
Asexual? Are you a plant?
@@professorfoxtrot asexual has been used for humans for over a century, babe. It’s about context.
@@zbcrazy Makes no sense. That's not how humans reproduce.
3:54 a lot of men would say "just tell him you're not interested" instead of all the other reasons. But that comes with a 50/50 chance of verbal assault OR physical assault
A common thread among niceguy posts is that they tend to expect the same results of their actions as adults that they did when they were children.
Be nice/polite=people give you what you want, say your sorry= people will automatically forgive you, etc
It works when you’re a child because you’re being taught the basics, but in the adult world people aren’t obligated to give you what you want and not every transgression can be forgiven by saying you’re sorry.
This is the feeling I've been having for years, thank you for finally putting it into words.
@overlordfemto7523Your commenting all over the place you must be obsessed
A lot of people out there think that being attracted to you means you HAVE to reciprocate. They simply can't comprehend that they're not attractive to someone they're attracted to. (They also love to project their insecurities and own pathetic frustrated loneliness on people that reject their unwanted advances. We see y'all 😂)
Like a friend of mine said about "Nice Guys" "They can't stand that their "type" doesn't have them as their type."
If someone says no, that doesn't mean "try harder". Leave that person tf alone. That person ain't into you. These people can become so annoying and their unattractiveness actually increases with their pitiful needness and lack of respecting the word "no".
As someone who did end up dating this one guy who cheated on his gf for me (i didnt know immediately and i was a stupid teenager but i did let her know when i learned) cheaters dont like to change.
I got cheated on cause i thought hed change.
@wynn1587 i mean, it was a shit experience but you don't have to stoop to shitty men's level by calling them "males" like they call women "females" its dehumanizing no matter who you are.
Love my ugly privilege sometimes, none of this stuff ever happens to me 😅
Right after I got done saying “omg treats you like a goddess what a red flag” to have you echo that was so satisfying
It's time for men to stop simping. Sigmund Freud was right, as is 50 shades of grey. Women like to be forced - it's fun for them.
When rejecting someone, resist the urge to let them down gently. That just feeds their delusions. The right thing is to provide closure by crushing all hope, as cruel as that sounds.
Tbh I think it depends. If they aren’t doing anything creepy/harmful and I’m just not interested or attracted to them, I’m not going to be unnecessarily cruel. I won’t sugar coat or anything so that they won’t be left with false hope, but there’s also no reason to be mean.
The only time it’s okay to not let them down gently is if they either come on way too strong, are aggressive, or if I’ve already told them I’m not interested and they didn’t take the hint the first time.
@@SarastistheSerpent It's not about being mean, it's about being firm. "Sorry, I'm just really busy at the moment" makes it seem like you're doing something wrong by rejecting them, which you aren't. "No." is one of the two possible answers to the question, and you're entirely within your right to say it. You shouldn't feel bad, and you shouldn't try to soften the blow to make yourself feel better. It's not kind, it's giving them (albeit delusional) false hope. By removing all hope you allow them to move on, which is how people grow.
Being gentle can also mean saying "no, I don't like you that way."
It's still firm and clear, but not mean.
I appreciate the honesty
@@SarastistheSerpentthey aren’t saying be horrible to them, just to be straightforward
Don't say you treat me like a goddess unless you light incense, mumble prayers into a stone wall in the back of a cave, or light a goat on fire on my lawn.
Actually, being treated like a goddess is pretty weird
Men who call themselves "nice guys" or "too nice" are usually not really nice 😅
Story time: about a month ago, I was at the store with my mom. I wanted to find a 48 pack of sidewalk chalk so I walked away from my mom to cruise the aisles. This guy is like “excuse me,”
when I turn around I see this taller dude who’s bald and had a blue t-shirt and black backpack.
He’s like “hey I don’t mean to be creepy but are you single by any chance? 😏”
I immediately say, “I’m 17 years old.” (The age of consent in my state is 18)
He goes “Oh..😳” and just slowly walks into a separate aisle.
It was so crazy and scary at the same time, I was trying to keep from laughing. When I went back to my mom, my jaw was at the floor and I couldn’t tell her what happened right away because people were around. In hindsight, I’m glad he left me alone when I said my age
Tbf, that kind of stuff does happen (I've done it, myself) and that is the only appropriate response.
When my daughter was 17 and working retail she had a creepy old customer that kept hitting on her. When he actually asked for her number she told him she was only 17 and he leered at her and said "I won't tell if you won't.'
To make a very long and profane riddled story short another customer overheard and lost his mind and security had to be called to keep him from attacking the lech. I don't think it helped that he had a young daughter and was likely imagining her having to navigate that garbage in another 10 years.
Oh and the countdown to her 18th birthday by customers and staff alike wasn't creepy at all. Sometimes I hate this world.
Your crazy scary story is some guy hit on you and when you told him your age he was respectful and left? Damn you might need years of therapy to get over that kind of trauma.
“I’ll treat you like a goddess/queen” like no, please just treat women as people
Some of these guys legitimately have some sort of interruption of their thought processes. They think that they are in control of every aspect of the interaction. It’s really sad because I’m sure most of it has something to do with undiagnosed mental illness.
EDIT: Guys hitting on girls in public is definitely cringe 99/100 times, but what is a good situation to try and meet someone in public?
Also, tbh, saying you treat me like a queen/goddess is a red flag also because like please fucking don't. I'm not, and putting me on a pedestal makes me really uncomfortable and is also really unhealthy for both of us.
Men are genuinely another species because I cannot imagine some of this reasoning.
I'm so sorry to tell you this but women do this too. Gender really do be a social construct.
@@PlatinumAltariayeah after thousands of year of patriarchy it to be expected this was come up by people who though teh earth was flat or recently didn't think lead was toxic in the 1950
*Straight cis men
They freak me out
@@PlatinumAltariawomen don’t do it NEARLY as much 💀 don’t act like they do
@@KingOfGaymes I haven't taken a survey...
The guy who just sent the “🥵” is killing me🤣bro was so adamant his first response was the nicest in the world when thats such a weird thing to send to someone you dont know
I actually just unmatched with someone that made me feel uncomfortable. He asked if I could see myself having sex with him, and I said yeah, but I'd really have to get to know him first. I thought it was weird, but I gave him a shot anyway. Problem was, as I was trying to get to know him, like about his family, hobbies, and stuff, he kept asking about what sexual things I liked or was okay with and talking about how horny he was.
Don't get me wrong, I really don't mind flirting, but he told me what he imagined me doing and all kinds of stuff and like....We JUST MET! I'm not at that point yet! It was weird because I felt like I had to keep reassuring him that I wasn't offended, while also trying to move on and just..ugh. Like at first, he was saying he got out of a relationship cause he was cheated on, and he's lonely and was looking for something long term, and "something physical" would be nice. I was thinking like he meant we'd work up to the physical stuff.....but he would NOT stop talking about sex and I'm like again..
I'd REALLY have to get to know you for that. He was saying we'd have an emotionally AND sexually sound relationship....but he wanted to put the sex first
So I told him "I'm sorry, but if that's how you feel, you're better off with someone who has had sex before" and unmatched him. I still blame myself for not being ready to make that leap, but I also feel like he was focused on the wrong thing at the time, so the whole encounter was strange.
do not blame yourself! No matter how much men try to frame this kind of behaviour as normal it is definitely not, unless you specifically say that you're only looking for sex! You wanted to get to know him because you're looking for a person, he tried to keep the conversation on sexual things only because he has no personality ;D The fact that you had to continue reassuring him that you were not offended sounds to me like a situation where the man is aware that what he's saying isn't appropriate but continues pushing anyway, while forcing you to continue reassuring him that his creepy comments aren't actually creepy... It's a test where the man is trying to assess how bad you are at setting boundries and how much you're willing to ignore/excuse despite him doing the exact opposite of the boundries you already set. It's a basic narcissistic tactic so be very aware of things like this in the future: a respectful person will never pretend to be one thing and then show themselves to be the exact opposite, so don't listen to what they are claiming about themselves and instead judge them by what they actually do and say
Yikes!
It's good you cut him off. Dick-controlled men are the worst. He put his own hornyness over your comfort.
there are kink apps for a reason why do people not use them?
Remember, ladies: "No" is a complete sentence. If you give them an excuse, then you're giving them something to argue about. Above all else, though, stay safe.
My ex roommate kept trying to convince me to breakup with my boyfriend and date him instead 🤢
My relationship is good less than 90% of the time, but we’re married with 2 very young children. I know it’s not okay but I have no support system. You’re right when you say easier said than done in terms of leaving 😢
OMG that 8th grade story is weird. Like if he just said he had a crush that would be a bit better but even though something tells me he was even weirder than he let on.
That 90%/10% hit me hard. Like there are some emotions "bad" that are natural in a romantic relationship, like yes sometimes they might get annoying or frustrating, even angry, jealous or guilty (as long as there is ACTUALLY a good reason for it). As long as those are relatively rare occurrences everything is fine. However disrespect, shame and untrust are feelings that do not under any circumstances belong to any relationship, let alone a romantic one.
4:37 this happened to me about a week ago. It was late and I took my dog (he small so no scary dog privilege for me) out because he needed to take a shit and I just wanted to let him do his thing and then go to bed. My dog and me went outside and around the corner I couldn’t already hear someone playing really loud music. Crossed to street to not get to close to this guy. He then stood there for a second, like he was not sure if he should continue his way or not and then decided to walk to me and ask me for my name and address. It then went something like this: me: I don’t wanna tell you where I live
Creepy guy: do you wanna drink?
Me: no
Guy: you wanna walk together?
Me: no
Guy: I love you
Me: (face of wtf) Idc I’m just walking my dog. You don’t know me
He also asked y I didn’t wanna go out with him and I told him that I said “no” more than enough times and he’s still asking me shit. Ich just walked away from him once it seemed like he kinda got the message. I turned another corner to kinda walk around the house so I can get home fast without him seeing where I live. I noticed that I couldn’t hear his music anymore and I assumed that he was gone but when I turned around he followed me IN THE FUCKING SHADOWS. I speed walked to the next corner and started running back to my home. I got there without him noticing where I live but obviously I was shocked and full of fear. I knew before that telling a man no can be dangerous for women and afab people but it never was so clear to me.
Once while I was walking my dog a guy in his 30s came up to me and asked "hi, are you over 18?" I told him "I will be in a couple months, why?" He looked a little disappointed as he said "okay then, I was going to ask you something but never mind" and walked away.
I figured he was either going to ask me out, kidnap me for a sex trafficking ring, or try to recruit me for some kind of sex work, and didn't want to do whatever-it-was with/to minors. At the time I thought he was hoping I was over 18 so he (or someone) could get their pedo jollies on legally (since I've always looked young for my age)... but thinking back on it from over a decade later, I realize it's also possible he hoped I was UNDERage and had "more time left." >_<
And that this is a default concern young women need to have when talking to strangers, is a sad state for the world to be in.
When a strategy continues to not work, maybe try something else.
I'm kinda glad that for the most part I avoid "nice guys" by being ace and not interested in dating anyone at the moment. (not necessarily aro, but probably panro with a lean towards being a Bambi lesbian enby). But I've definitely been catcalled by one random guy, but I didn't really hear him properly cos I was in a rush. (also, if anyone I don't know talks to me, I tend to just ignore/be "deaf" to them. like, I'll physically hear them, but it won't register)
I think accepting that being unhinged is the default and working on channelling it into hot takes and humour is the way to go.
The guy who wouldn’t leave you alone is honestly really scary
Even before he got mad, the fact that he wouldn’t piss off is freaky
I might forgive a little bit of confusion because some people really can’t read between the lines, and that’s okay, but if they do get mad when you tell them point-blank- then, nah. Not forgiveness
Leave me alone, stop being a creep
Love your channel soooo much❤❤❤ keep up the great work😊
This was simultaneously a disturbing and hilarious video!
Ngl dude I think the most glaring symptom of insanity shown in the PE crush story is that he wanted to name their hypothetical kids after characters from Flowers for Algernon-**Flowers for Fucking Algernon**- as something supposedly cutesy and sentimental. Even if he wasn’t nuts in literally every other capacity, that alone is worthy of being put on some sort of list-
I honestly would feel lucky if my partner only made me miserable 10% of the time. I'm used to 25%-50% average, spiking up to 90% That's why I'm single, I want to be happy & enjoy life. I seem to always pick people who want to make me miserable, lol Maybe I'll find a healthy relationship eventually 😮💨
That post that said that FEMALES always see the negative and like 90% of the time are good with men and just see the 10% that is bad... Well yeah? My abusive ex bf used to r*pe me and beat me up with no mercy sometimes and sometimes he got me dinner and flowers. Am I supposed to just... ignore the awful things he did sometimes (very often) because some of the time he did "respect" me? Dude, that's not how anything works!
Had something similar to me like ur story 😵💫 he asked me to go a coffee shop way off campus and I literally just met the guy. I thought I gave clear hints im not interested and im waiting for my mother but apparently not. Like I don’t wanna talk about dating and crushes with a person I just met
This whole video reminds me of when I was living abroad in Chile and this "upper class-man" (I was held back due to language barrier and other stuff) developed a crush on me
bit of background, I was the first Canadian any of these kids had met, I'm ftm transgender and at the time was identifying as Aegender, and I'm on the asexual spectrum
This guy was roughly the same age as me but didn't speak a lick of english and wasn't even in the same class as me, I'd never seen him before and basically never interacted with him
So this man, this (basically) grown ass man, had his friends tell me that he was in love with me, I was confused and responded like "okay? does he even know me?" and cutting out the google translate and broken english, they basically responded with "no but he sees you all the time in the hallway and really wants to take you camping with his brother"
I of course politely decline and leave feeling all sorts of confused
later on he shows up at my classroom (in the middle of class mind you) and starts watching me through the door window, blowing kisses at me, making heart gestures with his hands, and even fogged up the window to draw our initials in a heart, even at one time miming me jacking him off
(during that entire time I had my head down in my sketchpad while my history teacher was in the middle of teaching class and was only really watching him out of the corner of my eye and by glancing up at him)
He did eventually get brave enough to use google and broken english to actually talk to me and basically tell me that he loved me, and I told him essentially "you dont know me, I'm not interested, and I have other holiday plans"
I think he tried asking me on a date but It was a few years ago so my memory is kinda hazy
luckily he stopped after like a month and left me alone but holy fuck I have never been so creeped out in my entire life
(Small Edit: this wasnt continously happening for a month but more the time between when he started perseuing me and when he finally approached me himself was a few weeks or so and roughly a week after I shot him down I never saw him again, all this within roughly a month of time which is still insane but less extreme for what its worth)