Thanks for addressing this question.. I've often wondered about it myself. My childhood was pretty traumatic, but I experienced nothing that others in general didn't experience. Because of this I've more convinced now that my childhood trauma was due to my gender confusion and not the other way around..
I was like other cisgender girls during my childhood but d after puberty I started to like men's clothing, men's hair and everything that is related to to being a boy...i was attracted to every single boy but not in a romantic way but in a way I wanted to be like themi hate my body ....I want to be a boy but I'm confused because I didn't show any signs of transgender as a kid..pls reply .P.S. I'm 14
It's normal as a female to develop self hating thoughts about your femaleness, most commonly it starts around puberty. Why? Because the world around us sends us all sorts of messages about how we should be to be female and we internalise this hatred of ourselves. I did it to, it can result in gender dysphoria or in my case as a teen, and eating disorder. Please reach out to a parent or someone that has known you for most of your life and that you trust to talk to about this. Do not self ruminate and co-ruminate with online communities, you need to seek the truth rather than seek affirmation. Because the truth will lead you to self knowledge that will feel so much more freeing that affirmation from the outside.
@@photent it's been a long time since I posted that comment. I recently turned 17. It had been a bumpy road ,I won't go into details but I actually am trans, things added up, everything is clear. I'm definitely much happier this way. I'll be able to start my transition when I'm 18. I don't even remember ever posting that comment ?🤣But when I was 14 I did came out to my family and been to a therapist too. This is my truth. I AM a boy. I would tell you all about it but It's gonna take some time since it's a long story. Anyways, thanks for your concern tho. Have a nice day/night.
what I love about your vlogs are how ballanced you are about and your approach to gender issues . I was lucky to have a very good gender therapist like yourself. I would definitely recommend your channel to anyone exploring there gender issues.
I know when I was very young something was wrong by age 7 I knew but in the late 60s you did not talk about that. But by the time I was 58 I had to come out. I am 61 and the happiest I have ever been. I want to live Now. Before I tried ending my life and God saved me every time. Don't forget God knows you better than yourself. Don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong in transitioning if you are trans. That's my own experience love y'all 💕
Same with me in the '70s. Not only did you not talk about it, you couldn't even talk about it because the words didn't exist in your vocabulary (or even in my case in the language I was raised speaking). Religion didn't help either, as anyone who didn't fit the mold of the standard person of their birth gender was considered a pervert, a deviant, and to burn in hell for all eternity.
Thank you for this. You just validated every thing I have been feeling and made me feel like it is a more “normal” transitional experience rather than something only I am experiencing
As a child my family regularly mentally abused me and I isolated myself from people from a very early age. I haven't had the means to go to a therapist and be tested but throughout my life teachers and counselors have tried to convince my family to have me tested for autism/aspergers. They continuously refused saying that they don't believe in anything but the most severe cases of either. My worry at the moment right now is the I'm agender and through my whole life I always struggled with seeing myself as a human being. I always felt like I was living on an alien world and that no matter how hard I tried no one gave me any legitimate acknowledgement as a person. When I was younger I was always eager to call myself an alien and separate myself from other people, but now that I'm an adult and have been living away from my family for several months trying to get my life on track I've been struggling with being seen as a person, not someone whose two or three different things in the + after LGBT, but someone whose really seen as an equal by the greater part of society. My problem is that in the time I've identified as agender I defined a large part of it as being neither a man or a woman but just being a person. I'm afraid that calling myself agender was just latching onto an identity that left me feeling internally validated more as just being a person.
I was trans AND the event from my childhood occurred *because* I was trans to start with. I was so distant from normal childhood friendships and social circles that I was easy pickings for predators. Being lonely, wanting care and concern, those made me x magnet for predators who groomed.
I remember when I was 5 yrs. old, I consciously decided I didn't want to be like my scary father, but I never consciously tried to be like my Mom. They both were big on punishment, so I could never emotionally bond with either of them. When I got a little older, I did try to be like the stereotypical man, still many or most people have always seen me as effeminate. I started wearing my sister's clothes at about that time. She was just 3 when I was 5, but I was always small for my age. But I also remember playing in Mom's laundry piles in the house where we lived when I was 3 and 4 yrs. old. I always wanted to be a girl, but the desire can't make me one. By the time I found out that people can be transgender, I thought I couldn't be because I have always been sexually attracted to women. Could I have been in denial about being gay? My magic wand says "no". It stands strong for fair maidens, but lays like a corpse before even the most handsome of knights. The rest of my story drifts far away from the original question of whether or not it was childhood events that convinced me I'm trans. I could argue the case either way.
I get you. And My experience is a little similar. I'd say argue that from OUR perspective, as trans people, the answer is probably no. As most research have suggested that being trans is kind of innate. Basically we're born this way. Our brain recognizes a different gender than the one our body grows into when we were born. It was not changed later in life. And usually cannot be changed either way. However, fundamentally it's our biological parents who kinda determine how we're born. For one they pass down their genes to us. For that part, it seems that genes are still too complex to be decoded (and we literally call this 'gene password' phenomenon in Chinese), but I think most people do agree that being trans, as well as homosexual/bisexual, etc. are determined genetically. And those same genes which we ultimately got from our parents might have other things to do on them. And we do know that genes do affect people's personality. So in short, those genes that gave your parents those traumatizing personalities MIGHT be the same ones that caused you to be trans. On the other hand I do think the innate theory doesn't mean it's purely genetic. It can still take into account your parents', especially your biological mother's lifestyle while she's pregnant with you. Maybe certain behavior of her that cause the trauma in your childhood is also the same ones she had when she's pregnant with you, and that caused some changed to the embryo development when you were still in her womb, and made you trans.
@Mike McK What do u mean by social dysphoria. I personally believe that gender dysphoria should be really mainly physical. I don't think transitioning is a good choice for anyone who's ONLY dysphoria is the societal gender roles assigned to them. Of course certain times transgender people can discover their trans identity from unwillingness to follow through their expected gender roles. But in this case I think the question should be asked is, do you really hate doing that because it forces you to present as your biological gender, or you just hate it because you hate it, however you don't really hate your biological gender. Or on the other hand, if you found yourself enjoying certain things that's traditionally strongly associated with the opposite gender, are you just enjoying doing them. Or are you enjoying them because they make you feel a little more 'like' the opposite gender, and that's what makes you happy and those things enjoyable to you? After all many gender roles and gender expectations are more or less social construct with little to no basis on actual biology and science. And even for those who are (for example body hair on certain parts is a good example) it's probably easier to deal with that specifically than completely transitioning.
Short answer: yes Why then are all the transgender people (prior to it being a fad) dealing with so much trauma?? Its very very obvious Trauma is the cause of 90% of transgenderism
I am on my 3rd counselor and have spoken with them all about the discomfort I'm experiencing. It's almost as though they themselves feel uncomfortable discussing the topic. I understand, I am a medical professional and I know that sometimes it can be difficult to seperate our own views/experiences from the experiences of our patients, but it is SO important to remain unbiased. I am very discouraged, how can I find a counselor who is more experienced on this topic?
Just like dating you just have to see a lot of people and find someone that clicks with you. It’s not a great experience but it’s worth it. I view it like I’m interviewing people for a job, cuz I am. Psychology Today has a site that lists therapist in your area and is a good place to start. Hope this helps :)
My first couple of thoughts are regarding your recording space. Public places like that aren't necessarily bad, but quieter spaces with controlled amounts of noise are better. Also, I can advise getting a USB microphone, and slipping something over it to block wind/breath like an old bandana, or even a clean sock. Those tiny mikes tend to pick up sound more in extreme ranges (makes things sound tinny), rather than the richer timbre and tone. A good USB mike (i.e. Logitech) costs very little, and a mike stand for a desk will cost even less, but I've set mine on top of an empty glass or mug, and done fine. You have a good face, and a natural demeanor, but sitting while leaning forward like that is harder on your posture, breathing, circulation, and consequentially it can impact a person's ability to think, recall, and read quickly enough. Fortunately, it didn't here. (Personally, I like to put my notes on the screen or on a book stand.) Finally, editing has saved my bacon on recording vlogs, as it has a lot of vloggers. If you're using a Mac, then it comes with video editing software that's perfectly suited to editing content, which lets you scoop and speak from your notes, then edit out those pauses. (Yes, I think in paragraphs, and I'm sorry to post so much.) Second thought-cluster: good video, good content as always from you, and you presented it well. I liked your reference to other videos of yours, which I've already seen and are both good and useful. (This is not just to be positive, but because so many videos on trans and queer issues are useless, and you provide really good, useful ones.) I wanted to try and offer some constructive input, since one of your responses to a comment I posted on another video really helped me think about some things for myself, and I've shared some of your stuff on facebook or twitter.
Hey there, thanks for your feedback, I really do appreciate it. :) I have been struggling with trying to find the best space to record in - my office is quite dark and my home is quite noisy lol. Funny you mention the mike, I was going to buy one this week and will look into the USB mike for sure. As for the editing, I actually love to edit! Honestly it's lack of time, I find that if I spend time editing the video then it takes an extra week or two to post it. Hopefully one day I'll have enough time (or can hire a VA!) to do that for me. I am a video editor at heart so what I imagine in my head as my video and what I can actually do are quite different. But, knowing and accepting my limitations at the moment is good, and knowing what I can change is even better! Any thoughts on what type of place I should look for to record? (preferably for free). I'm thinking of someplace where I could maybe record several videos in a row, and that way I can spend more time editing them. Thanks again!
kladdaugh I just watched your video. :) What do you think of this one: smile.amazon.com/CAD-U37-Condenser-Recording-Microphone/dp/B001AIQGUO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1412179185&sr=8-2&keywords=usb+microphone Thanks again for your advice!
Dara Hoffman-Fox The CAD U37 looks nice, and I have no doubt that it's a quality microphone. I didn't go as deluxe as that, and as you saw from the video, mine still gives great sound with isolation from background noises. I looked at the cheaper model, the CAD U1, and even someone who gave it a good review said that the pop filter didn't seem to really work, which nixed my suggesting that as an alternative. I sometimes worry with purchases like that, because I've been disappointed after spending beaucoups bucks. You know? So, I think the U37 will be a good choice, and dramatically improve the sound quality. As I said in the video, lighting is easy enough to fix with some fine tuning and basic adjustments. I'm glad that I could help and pleased that you asked for my input. Feel free to contact me for anything in the future. Tschuess!
kladdaugh Guess what I just used the new mic and it's awesome! I'm posting a new video as we speak. :) I forgot to put a sock over it though, I'll do that next time. I also used natural lighting and more quiet atmosphere (a friend let me use his house, yay!). Thanks again for all of your help.
I think it's wonderful that you're creating an open discussion about this topic, even if it's just your opinion, it opens up a lot of insight. My question is for you is, when sharing your opinion at 3:08 about how trauma "doesn't cause someone to become transgender", but "it can definitely cause gender confusion or sexual orientation confusion". How are those 2 things different?
I had the same question. I appreciate the author's attempts at nuance, and I do think it could be a source of insight to ask yourself why you're asking yourself this question, but there is a bit too much ambiguity left hanging in this video as far as I'm concerned. That's because this question is one manifestation a species of questions that leaves open the possibility for one's gender variance to be rooted in psychopathology. One could conceivably spend their entire lives looking under every stone from their past and asking, "was this it? Did this make me want to be trans on some level?" But these questions are very hard to either prove or disprove, especially for the analytically inclined. Studies that have come out more recently than this video have also gone a long way to gathering a great deal of evidence pointing towards an innate, biological origin for gender identity that is not fundamentally shaken by experiences, traumatic or otherwise. Anyway! Sorry to ramble, I just had the same question as you, and thought that the open-minded curious approach to this potential link between childhood trauma and gender variance could have been balanced with a more clear reality check about how, well, the answer, in short, is "no."
Thanks for the video. I have been thinking a lot about this very topic lately. Though it's kinda late in transition for me to be thinking this way. I just feel like if there was a cause I could have possibly fixed it and I could just be "normal"...
I hear that from a lot of folks, especially those who are "late in transition," as you said. With that can come a huge sense of loss and regret - be sure to tend to this if you feel that is true for you!
I don't know if you check comments on this video but I want to say thank you. This has been really helpful to me, though in my head it's often 'lack there of notable events' because I've always felt very comfortable with who I am as a person but have had extremely bad body dysphoria. Videos like this one have been super helpful!
I wish someone who is transgender could explain to me how they can possibly know what "gender" they feel like. Is it just the dysmorphia or do you actually think you have some female mental traits or that you "think" like a woman?
I can help you out, it's Gender Dysphoria btw. So for me It feels like a strong dislike for what i look like in the essence of not being female. The gender roles in society are something i absolutely do not relate to. I think like a woman, & i have a strong desire to live as the opposite sex. Growing up i dreamed i was a girl, i would pray to become a girl when i woke up. I would pray for death so that way i could be a girl in the next life. I have always had an extreme jealous and enviness of other girls/women. Growing up was rough i was so miserable watching other girls being able to dress pretty, wear makeup, wear nail polish & etc. I have been very suicidal sense a young age for reasons i didn't really understand till recently. During/after puberty my depression became extremely bad. I have had and still have very low motivation to do anything. But sense coming to the realization of me being trans I'm feeling happier & hopeful to a new and happier future. I just have to work for it. I just turned 26 & its never too late to Transition! 😊.
One way you could think about it is; what hand is your dominant hand? How do you know that’s your dominant hand? If people were telling you that you have to use the other hand all the time: how would you feel? Are you ambidextrous? Pick a dominant hand. You have to use that hand all the time, and if you feel like using the other hand sometimes you’re wrong, and a mistake. You’re not allowed to diverge from it at all. Now, separate the two hands into genders. A lot of it is gender dysphoria (people telling you you’re a a righty when you’re a lefty), but some of it is an innate sense of self and what feels right to you. Telling someone who’s a lefty to write with their right hand will just mess up their writing, so you should just let them write with their left... (NOT the best analogy, but I think it’ll do..)
For me it was always image. I wasn't exactly feminine or masculine growing up, more of a mix of both. But no matter what I did, I always imagined or pictured myself as a girl doing it. When I did gymnastics, I was a girl doing it. When I did martial arts, I was a girl doing it. I never even thought anything of having this self image until I was like in high school, but I didn't think I could be trans until college when it was brought to the attention of my roommate. When I was learning to skateboard or went to the skate park with my friends, I was a girl. When we went out, I was the girl in the group. Even now, I still do. But I still have some trouble coming to terms with it. So for me, it wasn't exactly that I thought like a woman or had a female brain or whatever. I just, always was one or saw myself as a girl. Body image problems are particularly bad for me. Not a day goes by where I don't see a girl and then look at myself and get reminded.
keggerous I don’t think I am a women I know I am a women Just trapped in a male body if you don’t experience it it’s really hard to truly explain how it fells
keggerous hi it would seem to me that a transgender person that believes that they now inhabit the body of the wrong sex is possibly because in a past life they were the sex or gender they are not currently ,there is much evidence for past lives ,read some material on this subject it may enlighten you,
I've had events. I've known I'm trans since just before puberty. Now 52 and looking at transition. My 30year marriage is wrecked because of it. My partner told me the other day she is angry because I'm not allowed to just co-opt the feminine because I didn't live as a "true" woman. It was very hurtful and I told her that does not excuse the feelings I have as to my own identity and expression. As a therapist she should know how damaging that is to our entire community. I'm now more determined than ever to shed all the old.
Thanks so much! This has been very, very helpful for what I've been dealing with today! I'll add you to my list of youtubers I want to hear from on this topic!
Thanks your videos have been helpful. And I may feel like you care about people who are confused. Keep doing this. You have helped more people than you thought you had. Have a good day
Wow that literally scared me almost like you read my mind about .. The chicken and egg.. I identify as lesbian as well as trans ; but had a childhood traumatic experience where I felt I created a male character to protect myself . However I think I like the male character better lol . Wow I am not alone 🙏
i just recently started watching your videos and so far have been great,i wish this type of forum was around when i was younger,i always felt more female than male and even played and hung around girls at 3-4y.o. i played with one girl more and we would flip a coin or high card to see the part we played & she'd win and play male role and i the girl even full clothing change i thought because she didn't have a father why she piked it but i really enjoyed being a girl,to where we would even go to the school playground dressed in these roles or walk to the store,when Halloween came around my parents would ask me what i wanted to be at first i was shy about it but eventually i would borrow my friends costume from last year,Cinderella,SnowWhite,etc...,eventually we moved cross country i was devastated but she gave me a package to open only when we arrived she had given me some girls clothes inside & out with a note saying for you to continue playing dressup as you like it alot,enough rambling anyways,these videos are excellent and i am transitioning again at 52y.o. please keep them coming and i need to send a personal question about this when i find your link,thank you so much
I love your videos but somehow I missed this particular video until now. I too have questioned my gender since childhood even though i cannot attach my feelings one any particular event. It may sound strange but I felt as if is was both male and female from a young age. The one thing for me is I always felt this was a biological and never phycological. There was one event where everything first started to come together for me. In the seventh grade in a science class while talking about males who had a non typical chromosomes. It was after my class as I walked across the school yard is when it hit me that some how my gender issues where in fact biological. That event was but one of many dozens of small events that explained to me in a scientific manor how I came to be. Of course the final event came when my right testis became malignant with testicular/ovarian cancer. I was intersex, caused by a ( Timing Defect ) during my fetal gestation. Now most of my questions where answered
I guess my situation is odd. I had a lot of trauma issues as a child, sure, but I didn't really connect them to me realizing I was experiencing gender dysphoria at 40 years old- until I started trying to do online therapy for my gender issues and all the therapist seemed interested in was what kind of trauma from my life might have caused me to feel that way since they didn't think it was realistic that I wouldn't realize I was trans until I was that old. So now I'm looking at the trauma from my childhood and I really can see how that might affect how I see myself from a gender perspective, but that was all decades ago, and I also don't trust that these connections I'm making aren't just me giving in to subtle gaslighting from a mildly transphobic therapist- who I've now stopped talking to. So it's just another stupid step in this whole process, where I need to figure out the truth before I can move forward with my life, and after I've already lost so many goddamn years to being in the closet. Frustration and annoyance are the main things I'm feeling over this.
I have some troubles. I always knew I was a girl and acted as how my mom raised me. As what people say a girl should act. But I'm 13 and for awhile I've wanted to be a guy and wasn't comfortable in my body. People say they figured it out by childhood experiences and now in scared that for some reason it's not true at all even though I can't change myself . Any advice?
If you have a few opinion from people with real collage type degreas do not back out! You are not getting any younger... I seriously regret not starting my path to woman hood so late. Try walking away also from this trans life box everything up you can put the boy clothes on, if that idea horrifying to you like me good sign you are trans. When you are in the shower and nude I know I hate what I see
Natasha Hughes Try to be happy and love who God made you. Don’t even worry about society and its viewpoints of male and female. You are perfect the way you are. You are not broken. God did not make a mistake.
Natasha Hughes I feel so bad for you all. You really do believe that God made a mistake and put you in the wrong body? Believe me there is no mistake, it is just a human perspective on society and gender roles that are all screwed up. God made you perfect and you should not mess with it.
@@sinpilot3195 Many have tried what you said... they tried and then many have died. The ones who do survive were usually the ones who transitioned and changed themselves. Please educate yourself more on the matter before you continue to spout more toxic nonsense.
For me I'd like to know, not because I want to somehow find something to blame for me being transgender, or a way to reverse it, but out of curiosity. There are several events in my childhood that possibly influenced my brain development in ways that pushed me towards transgender feelings. One is my sister being seriously favoured by my parents, making me envious of her to the point of thinking "if only I were a girl my parents would love me more". While they loved me a lot, my sister always got first pick when it came to new toys, clothes, furniture for her room, etc. etc. and if any money was left over (we were rather poor) I got something as well, the excuse being always that "having nice stuff is more important for girls than it is for boys". But far more important, and not something that any "conversion therapy" can ever "talk me out of" is a botched surgery as a child that probably damaged my testicles. My puberty didn't start "when it's supposed to" so doctors decided to force it by surgically moving my testicles into the scrotum. I've always thought they must have done something wrong as I never went through a proper puberty and even at 50+ years of age never had a full erection or orgasm, my body seems incapable of it. If my theory is correct this botched surgery probably caused this through damaging the testosterone production capability of my body, leaving my developing brain with a relative excess of estrogen, thus influencing its development into a more feminine "shape" during the formative phase of puberty.
I was born a boy I can not deny the science, however I was not really a boy. I was a baby and my memories of childhood are profound.We lived on a street with a few houses across the dirt road was a farm. All the boys were older like 5 and never let me play with them, I ended up playing with the girls and did what they wanted me to do. We moved and my first playmate was a girl and we played dressed up and house and those games, then came school and I knew then I wanted to be a girl. I am!
Since I figured out that I was a woman in a male body I had nno doubts about me being trsadly that was about 10 or so years ago but looking back the signs have been there since middle school when I started hiding myse from everyone including myself part depression and maybe dysphoria
I have reached a point in my life were I can't ignore the fact that I feel like a woman and have taken steps with support for family, friends and my employer to begin my transition. Starting with them all calling me by my chosen name and living as a woman every day. With the help of my aunt who is a retired army PA I will be starting on estrogen therapy soon as well. At 51 years old I am done talking about transitioning and with limited money in my wallet I am moving forward with my goal to transition!
Can you please reply to me? I have a question about this subject: In my childhood I used to HATE being a girl so I would put stuff in my pants to make it look like a boy and even tried to use the toilet like boys do (standing up) but it didnt work, so I eventually gave up and went back to being a girl but a part of me has always been confused because I've always have been Bullied because my face does not match my body and they think im a boy there are times when it pisses me off because the way they say things are offensive and other times when im in the mood I just tell them that I am a Male. I see myself as Androgynous Female, but sometimes I like to Look like a guy, so its confusing for me... what am i?
My mother knew and dressed me in girls clothes till kindergarten. Becoming a “boy” after really fucked me up. It honestly took me nearly sixty years to reprocess myself and live as my ,irrelevant now, feared I would. It’s all good. Had I been Gemme in the late fifties and early sixties I do not think I would be as “ OK” as I turned out. But yeah 62 and quite a femme looking non binary human has emerged as the whole version I am today.
I like putting _trigger warnings,_ so, TW: mention of childhood SA and gender dysphoria. *Note: this is my experience of gender dysphoria. Just because my gender dysphoria is linked to the sa I went through, doesn’t mean that other peoples trans experiences are.* I was sexually assaulted at 10 years old by a 12 year old. I won’t go into details (due to obvious reasons), and I’m not sure what really counts as “one off” in this case. The actual event happened 3 times but it took place on the same day. Anyway, I got in trouble for that. Ever since that day, I developed hyper-sexuality and hyper-romanticism. I won’t go into that either. I don’t think that part is important. In high-school, I developed gender dysphoria. At the time, I didn’t know that it was linked to what happened to me as a child, so I started socially transitioning and identifying as FtM trans. Changed my name and pronouns. I lived my school life as a boy and I felt happy. I felt really confident. I felt happy with being called a boy. At some point, I questioned if I was really trans: I never had any issues with being seen as a girl in my childhood, in fact, I was a very feminine child. So, what happened? I realized that the trauma that I went through likely caused some conflict where my brain was like “maybe if you were a guy, then you wouldn’t have to link yourself to what you’ve been through” I’m 21 now. I still deal with gender dysphoria because of this. I’m agender and aroace (which, I also think is linked to the trauma- damn, what the actual f-ck? And all this time I haven’t had therapy?). Well, that’s the end of this. If y’all got any questions, feel free to ask because I’ve run out of what to say in this little post. I also deal with dissociation, so ✨fun✨ (sarcasm).
If you have had trauma why would you explore anything. Why not actually heal the trauma realize that if a wheel is missing put one on. Doesnt that make more sense instead of actually removing another wheel changing the whole identity of the vehichle and then damage further? Why try to CONVINCE,someone to transition when yes ofcourse once hormones and drugs and so much sacrifice is involved who wiuld go back or say they are wrong, very few right? Please explain this
I'm 14 and do consider myself an ftm trans guy. My mom says I'm too young to know. Is this a thing? Can I be 14 and know for sure? because I'm pretty sure I am uncomfortable with my sex & gender assigned at birth.
A lot of trans people already know that they are trans when they are toddlers. you are not too young to know! But I'd recommend you to experiment a bit and to keep your mind and opportunities open. There is the possibility of hormone blockers if you feel like you want or need medical treatment. The blockers will pretty much stop puberty. the effects are reversible. If you want more information go google it. The point of the whole "you are too young to know" thing is that teenage years can be very confusing and that there is a lot of stuff happening with your brain but no one but you knows who you are. And no one tells cis kids that they are "too young to know". Well good luck:)
I can’t seek for counseling bc I live in a transphobic country that doesn’t have any trans rights, and I can’t pay one online bc my parents aren’t supportive.
You did not answer the question. Are there developmental causes of gender confusion and transgenderism? Do any of your clients come to a conclusion that experiences caused their feelings of transgenderism? Can you provide a case report in which this occurred?
It feels like I contain 2 universes, a male and a female. I am the self deciding which one to be for my future and which one to relegate to the past. I have opted for a female life in the future. Probably it is because I've had enough of being a man.
I knew "physically" I was a girl, so, growing up, I never put any thought into my gender because I didn't know that there's more than 2 genders. It was only recently that I learned that there are.
What about you father throwing away all your toys when you were 5 because they were 'girl' toys and you are a boy? Would that homophobia, inducing shame and and being so traumatic to a 5 year old be enough? All that is required is for some event to happen wherein it triggers thoughts in someone like "maybe I'm not a boy"(in this scenario). The mind then takes over from there unless the thinking caused by homophobia is addressed by an adult. By that I mean, breaking the link that has developed now in the child that 'these are only girl toys', 'i like these toys' therefore 'i must be a girl's. This is internalised homophobia if the parents were uncomfortable with the gender non conformity. And small and big events in your life can trigger these thoughts.
There is this big question that very few seems to want to address: "why am I not comfortable being in my body of birth?" Next thing that comes to my mind is I hardly think it would be a single trauma or some childhood "events" causing this. It has to be something more prolonged, shaping the image of what we are in a long-time process. This would for example be some kind of role model, an unspoken thought of the parents, appearing in non verbal communication ("I wish you were a girl/boy"), or straight out manipulative behavior. These are not necessarily so easy to track down in retrospect, they may be very subtle, but still crucial for the little kid. "It doesn't matter what caused me to be transgender" is as such a very doubtful thought. Of course it matters, and denying that is a self-delusion, protecting the new shape you are trying to attach to, but giving up the being you were born to be.
People we need to stop all this craziness. Just accept who God made you. Forget about what society says about being male or female. You are perfect the way you were made. Don’t change a thing. I am praying for everyone who sees this channel. Please don’t mutilate yourself or transform yourself with chemicals to match something that is in your mind. I promise you can be extremely happy being who you are. Transgender therapist is a strange term to me.
Jacob, gender dysphoria is a scientifically proven ailment, and treatment for it varies to the individual. Many transgender women for instance never do end up going through with srs. Pray all you want for us, but the prayers won't fix the problem.
TheRockhound119 with God all things are possible. I’m just say be happy with who you are, how you were made. Don’t change a thing. If you were on a deserted island from birth with no one to show you what “male” or “female “ is “supposed to be, I doubt very much you would feel you were in the wrong body. It is more of a social thing. The Native Americans hold these type of people with great reverence saying they have knowledge of both man and woman. However they never thought the cut into their genitalia To change the way they look on the outside. That is just what it is looks. I do not doubt gender dysmorphia is real I do believe however there’s more in the mindset and there is no such thing as a cure and there is also no such thing as sexual reassignment surgery, to me it is body mutilation. You could never make a woman a man or a man a woman. I’m not even saying is wrong to feel that way, just wrong to mutilate yourself to achieve what you feel. Literally be happy with who God made you. Some people are born blind, or without arms or legs, some with both genitals, just be happy with who the good Lord made you. And I will continue praying for all of you I pray that you truly see that the creator of this universe created you Perfect.
@@sinpilot3195 unfortunately, it is not just a social thing, but is biological as well. Your view would hold credence if it was just social, which it is not.
TheRockhound119 social or not should we not just love and appreciate who we were made. So what you’re a boy who feels like a girl or a girl who feels there a boy. So you feel how you feel but where is the need to actually cut oneself to obtain a desired look. We care far to much about feelings and don’t see the reality. We are made perfect not broken.
TheRockhound119 so your stance is change who you are in the outside to match the inside, right? Why not change the inside to match the outside. We know that’s wrong but are ok with the changing the outside. I say don’t change a thing, you are who you are. No doctor on this planet can change you into something you’re not. Please understand my point of view comes from my heart with love and compassion. It is terrible to be so confused. Rely on God he is the one who created it all and in my opinion deserves respect and he doesn’t make mistakes.
Thanks for addressing this question.. I've often wondered about it myself. My childhood was pretty traumatic, but I experienced nothing that others in general didn't experience. Because of this I've more convinced now that my childhood trauma was due to my gender confusion and not the other way around..
I was like other cisgender girls during my childhood but d after puberty I started to like men's clothing, men's hair and everything that is related to to being a boy...i was attracted to every single boy but not in a romantic way but in a way I wanted to be like themi hate my body ....I want to be a boy but I'm confused because I didn't show any signs of transgender as a kid..pls reply .P.S. I'm 14
It's normal as a female to develop self hating thoughts about your femaleness, most commonly it starts around puberty. Why? Because the world around us sends us all sorts of messages about how we should be to be female and we internalise this hatred of ourselves. I did it to, it can result in gender dysphoria or in my case as a teen, and eating disorder. Please reach out to a parent or someone that has known you for most of your life and that you trust to talk to about this. Do not self ruminate and co-ruminate with online communities, you need to seek the truth rather than seek affirmation. Because the truth will lead you to self knowledge that will feel so much more freeing that affirmation from the outside.
@@photent it's been a long time since I posted that comment. I recently turned 17. It had been a bumpy road ,I won't go into details but I actually am trans, things added up, everything is clear. I'm definitely much happier this way. I'll be able to start my transition when I'm 18. I don't even remember ever posting that comment ?🤣But when I was 14 I did came out to my family and been to a therapist too. This is my truth. I AM a boy. I would tell you all about it but It's gonna take some time since it's a long story. Anyways, thanks for your concern tho. Have a nice day/night.
@@Draculem1hawk you’re not trans. If you were fine cis, that’s a worldly influence causing you to be this way.
This sounds like me, but in reverse (I mean by gender)
@@a.kamileon hi please shut up because you don't know what you're talking about kthnxbye.
what I love about your vlogs are how ballanced you are about and your approach to gender issues . I was lucky to have a very good gender therapist like yourself. I would definitely recommend your channel to anyone exploring there gender issues.
Thank you for putting these videos out online. I just want to say that they're functioning as a bit of a lifeline for me atm.
I know when I was very young something was wrong by age 7 I knew but in the late 60s you did not talk about that. But by the time I was 58 I had to come out. I am 61 and the happiest I have ever been. I want to live Now. Before I tried ending my life and God saved me every time. Don't forget God knows you better than yourself. Don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong in transitioning if you are trans. That's my own experience love y'all 💕
Same with me in the '70s.
Not only did you not talk about it, you couldn't even talk about it because the words didn't exist in your vocabulary (or even in my case in the language I was raised speaking).
Religion didn't help either, as anyone who didn't fit the mold of the standard person of their birth gender was considered a pervert, a deviant, and to burn in hell for all eternity.
Thank you for this. You just validated every thing I have been feeling and made me feel like it is a more “normal” transitional experience rather than something only I am experiencing
As a child my family regularly mentally abused me and I isolated myself from people from a very early age. I haven't had the means to go to a therapist and be tested but throughout my life teachers and counselors have tried to convince my family to have me tested for autism/aspergers. They continuously refused saying that they don't believe in anything but the most severe cases of either. My worry at the moment right now is the I'm agender and through my whole life I always struggled with seeing myself as a human being. I always felt like I was living on an alien world and that no matter how hard I tried no one gave me any legitimate acknowledgement as a person.
When I was younger I was always eager to call myself an alien and separate myself from other people, but now that I'm an adult and have been living away from my family for several months trying to get my life on track I've been struggling with being seen as a person, not someone whose two or three different things in the + after LGBT, but someone whose really seen as an equal by the greater part of society. My problem is that in the time I've identified as agender I defined a large part of it as being neither a man or a woman but just being a person. I'm afraid that calling myself agender was just latching onto an identity that left me feeling internally validated more as just being a person.
I was trans AND the event from my childhood occurred *because* I was trans to start with. I was so distant from normal childhood friendships and social circles that I was easy pickings for predators. Being lonely, wanting care and concern, those made me x magnet for predators who groomed.
This is a very clear, concise breakdown of a multi-faceted question. Well done!
Thanks Aimee!
I remember when I was 5 yrs. old, I consciously decided I didn't want to be like my scary father, but I never consciously tried to be like my Mom. They both were big on punishment, so I could never emotionally bond with either of them. When I got a little older, I did try to be like the stereotypical man, still many or most people have always seen me as effeminate. I started wearing my sister's clothes at about that time. She was just 3 when I was 5, but I was always small for my age. But I also remember playing in Mom's laundry piles in the house where we lived when I was 3 and 4 yrs. old. I always wanted to be a girl, but the desire can't make me one. By the time I found out that people can be transgender, I thought I couldn't be because I have always been sexually attracted to women. Could I have been in denial about being gay? My magic wand says "no". It stands strong for fair maidens, but lays like a corpse before even the most handsome of knights. The rest of my story drifts far away from the original question of whether or not it was childhood events that convinced me I'm trans. I could argue the case either way.
I get you. And My experience is a little similar. I'd say argue that from OUR perspective, as trans people, the answer is probably no. As most research have suggested that being trans is kind of innate. Basically we're born this way. Our brain recognizes a different gender than the one our body grows into when we were born. It was not changed later in life. And usually cannot be changed either way. However, fundamentally it's our biological parents who kinda determine how we're born. For one they pass down their genes to us. For that part, it seems that genes are still too complex to be decoded (and we literally call this 'gene password' phenomenon in Chinese), but I think most people do agree that being trans, as well as homosexual/bisexual, etc. are determined genetically. And those same genes which we ultimately got from our parents might have other things to do on them. And we do know that genes do affect people's personality. So in short, those genes that gave your parents those traumatizing personalities MIGHT be the same ones that caused you to be trans. On the other hand I do think the innate theory doesn't mean it's purely genetic. It can still take into account your parents', especially your biological mother's lifestyle while she's pregnant with you. Maybe certain behavior of her that cause the trauma in your childhood is also the same ones she had when she's pregnant with you, and that caused some changed to the embryo development when you were still in her womb, and made you trans.
Am I Transgender Because of Childhood Events?
Short answer, no.
@Mike McK What do u mean by social dysphoria. I personally believe that gender dysphoria should be really mainly physical. I don't think transitioning is a good choice for anyone who's ONLY dysphoria is the societal gender roles assigned to them. Of course certain times transgender people can discover their trans identity from unwillingness to follow through their expected gender roles. But in this case I think the question should be asked is, do you really hate doing that because it forces you to present as your biological gender, or you just hate it because you hate it, however you don't really hate your biological gender. Or on the other hand, if you found yourself enjoying certain things that's traditionally strongly associated with the opposite gender, are you just enjoying doing them. Or are you enjoying them because they make you feel a little more 'like' the opposite gender, and that's what makes you happy and those things enjoyable to you? After all many gender roles and gender expectations are more or less social construct with little to no basis on actual biology and science. And even for those who are (for example body hair on certain parts is a good example) it's probably easier to deal with that specifically than completely transitioning.
Short answer: yes
Why then are all the transgender people (prior to it being a fad) dealing with so much trauma??
Its very very obvious
Trauma is the cause of 90% of transgenderism
I am on my 3rd counselor and have spoken with them all about the discomfort I'm experiencing. It's almost as though they themselves feel uncomfortable discussing the topic.
I understand, I am a medical professional and I know that sometimes it can be difficult to seperate our own views/experiences from the experiences of our patients, but it is SO important to remain unbiased. I am very discouraged, how can I find a counselor who is more experienced on this topic?
Aaaaaaaand....I just found the link in the description 😂👌
how do I find an affordable counselor in my area , one that I can trust
Just like dating you just have to see a lot of people and find someone that clicks with you. It’s not a great experience but it’s worth it. I view it like I’m interviewing people for a job, cuz I am. Psychology Today has a site that lists therapist in your area and is a good place to start. Hope this helps :)
My first couple of thoughts are regarding your recording space. Public places like that aren't necessarily bad, but quieter spaces with controlled amounts of noise are better. Also, I can advise getting a USB microphone, and slipping something over it to block wind/breath like an old bandana, or even a clean sock. Those tiny mikes tend to pick up sound more in extreme ranges (makes things sound tinny), rather than the richer timbre and tone. A good USB mike (i.e. Logitech) costs very little, and a mike stand for a desk will cost even less, but I've set mine on top of an empty glass or mug, and done fine. You have a good face, and a natural demeanor, but sitting while leaning forward like that is harder on your posture, breathing, circulation, and consequentially it can impact a person's ability to think, recall, and read quickly enough. Fortunately, it didn't here. (Personally, I like to put my notes on the screen or on a book stand.) Finally, editing has saved my bacon on recording vlogs, as it has a lot of vloggers. If you're using a Mac, then it comes with video editing software that's perfectly suited to editing content, which lets you scoop and speak from your notes, then edit out those pauses. (Yes, I think in paragraphs, and I'm sorry to post so much.)
Second thought-cluster: good video, good content as always from you, and you presented it well. I liked your reference to other videos of yours, which I've already seen and are both good and useful. (This is not just to be positive, but because so many videos on trans and queer issues are useless, and you provide really good, useful ones.)
I wanted to try and offer some constructive input, since one of your responses to a comment I posted on another video really helped me think about some things for myself, and I've shared some of your stuff on facebook or twitter.
Hey there, thanks for your feedback, I really do appreciate it. :) I have been struggling with trying to find the best space to record in - my office is quite dark and my home is quite noisy lol. Funny you mention the mike, I was going to buy one this week and will look into the USB mike for sure. As for the editing, I actually love to edit! Honestly it's lack of time, I find that if I spend time editing the video then it takes an extra week or two to post it. Hopefully one day I'll have enough time (or can hire a VA!) to do that for me. I am a video editor at heart so what I imagine in my head as my video and what I can actually do are quite different. But, knowing and accepting my limitations at the moment is good, and knowing what I can change is even better!
Any thoughts on what type of place I should look for to record? (preferably for free). I'm thinking of someplace where I could maybe record several videos in a row, and that way I can spend more time editing them.
Thanks again!
kladdaugh I just watched your video. :) What do you think of this one: smile.amazon.com/CAD-U37-Condenser-Recording-Microphone/dp/B001AIQGUO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1412179185&sr=8-2&keywords=usb+microphone
Thanks again for your advice!
Dara Hoffman-Fox The CAD U37 looks nice, and I have no doubt that it's a quality microphone. I didn't go as deluxe as that, and as you saw from the video, mine still gives great sound with isolation from background noises. I looked at the cheaper model, the CAD U1, and even someone who gave it a good review said that the pop filter didn't seem to really work, which nixed my suggesting that as an alternative.
I sometimes worry with purchases like that, because I've been disappointed after spending beaucoups bucks. You know?
So, I think the U37 will be a good choice, and dramatically improve the sound quality. As I said in the video, lighting is easy enough to fix with some fine tuning and basic adjustments. I'm glad that I could help and pleased that you asked for my input. Feel free to contact me for anything in the future. Tschuess!
kladdaugh Guess what I just used the new mic and it's awesome! I'm posting a new video as we speak. :) I forgot to put a sock over it though, I'll do that next time. I also used natural lighting and more quiet atmosphere (a friend let me use his house, yay!). Thanks again for all of your help.
Dara Hoffman-Fox :-D The sock is optional. With a good mike, I doubt you'll need it. I'm thrilled for you, Dara. Blessings and starlight.
I think it's wonderful that you're creating an open discussion about this topic, even if it's just your opinion, it opens up a lot of insight. My question is for you is, when sharing your opinion at 3:08 about how trauma "doesn't cause someone to become transgender", but "it can definitely cause gender confusion or sexual orientation confusion". How are those 2 things different?
I had the same question. I appreciate the author's attempts at nuance, and I do think it could be a source of insight to ask yourself why you're asking yourself this question, but there is a bit too much ambiguity left hanging in this video as far as I'm concerned. That's because this question is one manifestation a species of questions that leaves open the possibility for one's gender variance to be rooted in psychopathology. One could conceivably spend their entire lives looking under every stone from their past and asking, "was this it? Did this make me want to be trans on some level?" But these questions are very hard to either prove or disprove, especially for the analytically inclined. Studies that have come out more recently than this video have also gone a long way to gathering a great deal of evidence pointing towards an innate, biological origin for gender identity that is not fundamentally shaken by experiences, traumatic or otherwise. Anyway! Sorry to ramble, I just had the same question as you, and thought that the open-minded curious approach to this potential link between childhood trauma and gender variance could have been balanced with a more clear reality check about how, well, the answer, in short, is "no."
Thanks for the video. I have been thinking a lot about this very topic lately. Though it's kinda late in transition for me to be thinking this way. I just feel like if there was a cause I could have possibly fixed it and I could just be "normal"...
I hear that from a lot of folks, especially those who are "late in transition," as you said. With that can come a huge sense of loss and regret - be sure to tend to this if you feel that is true for you!
@@darahoffmanfox You're a "transgender" therapist? So you "affirm" someone telling you they're the wrong sex? So you are pointless.
Nope. I'm woman inside and always have felt this way. Even though I have never had courage back then to stand up to all kinds of nonsense around me
I don't know if you check comments on this video but I want to say thank you. This has been really helpful to me, though in my head it's often 'lack there of notable events' because I've always felt very comfortable with who I am as a person but have had extremely bad body dysphoria. Videos like this one have been super helpful!
I wish someone who is transgender could explain to me how they can possibly know what "gender" they feel like. Is it just the dysmorphia or do you actually think you have some female mental traits or that you "think" like a woman?
I can help you out, it's Gender Dysphoria btw. So for me It feels like a strong dislike for what i look like in the essence of not being female. The gender roles in society are something i absolutely do not relate to. I think like a woman, & i have a strong desire to live as the opposite sex. Growing up i dreamed i was a girl, i would pray to become a girl when i woke up. I would pray for death so that way i could be a girl in the next life. I have always had an extreme jealous and enviness of other girls/women. Growing up was rough i was so miserable watching other girls being able to dress pretty, wear makeup, wear nail polish & etc. I have been very suicidal sense a young age for reasons i didn't really understand till recently. During/after puberty my depression became extremely bad. I have had and still have very low motivation to do anything. But sense coming to the realization of me being trans I'm feeling happier & hopeful to a new and happier future. I just have to work for it. I just turned 26 & its never too late to Transition! 😊.
One way you could think about it is; what hand is your dominant hand? How do you know that’s your dominant hand? If people were telling you that you have to use the other hand all the time: how would you feel?
Are you ambidextrous? Pick a dominant hand. You have to use that hand all the time, and if you feel like using the other hand sometimes you’re wrong, and a mistake. You’re not allowed to diverge from it at all.
Now, separate the two hands into genders.
A lot of it is gender dysphoria (people telling you you’re a a righty when you’re a lefty), but some of it is an innate sense of self and what feels right to you. Telling someone who’s a lefty to write with their right hand will just mess up their writing, so you should just let them write with their left...
(NOT the best analogy, but I think it’ll do..)
For me it was always image. I wasn't exactly feminine or masculine growing up, more of a mix of both. But no matter what I did, I always imagined or pictured myself as a girl doing it.
When I did gymnastics, I was a girl doing it. When I did martial arts, I was a girl doing it.
I never even thought anything of having this self image until I was like in high school, but I didn't think I could be trans until college when it was brought to the attention of my roommate.
When I was learning to skateboard or went to the skate park with my friends, I was a girl. When we went out, I was the girl in the group.
Even now, I still do. But I still have some trouble coming to terms with it.
So for me, it wasn't exactly that I thought like a woman or had a female brain or whatever.
I just, always was one or saw myself as a girl. Body image problems are particularly bad for me. Not a day goes by where I don't see a girl and then look at myself and get reminded.
keggerous I don’t think I am a women I know I am a women
Just trapped in a male body if you don’t experience it it’s really hard to truly explain how it fells
keggerous hi it would seem to me that a transgender person that believes that they now inhabit the body of the wrong sex is possibly because in a past life they were the sex or gender they are not currently ,there is much evidence for past lives ,read some material on this subject it may enlighten you,
I've had events. I've known I'm trans since just before puberty. Now 52 and looking at transition. My 30year marriage is wrecked because of it. My partner told me the other day she is angry because I'm not allowed to just co-opt the feminine because I didn't live as a "true" woman. It was very hurtful and I told her that does not excuse the feelings I have as to my own identity and expression. As a therapist she should know how damaging that is to our entire community. I'm now more determined than ever to shed all the old.
Thanks so much! This has been very, very helpful for what I've been dealing with today! I'll add you to my list of youtubers I want to hear from on this topic!
Thanks your videos have been helpful. And I may feel like you care about people who are confused. Keep doing this. You have helped more people than you thought you had. Have a good day
Wow that literally scared me almost like you read my mind about .. The chicken and egg.. I identify as lesbian as well as trans ; but had a childhood traumatic experience where I felt I created a male character to protect myself . However I think I like the male character better lol . Wow I am not alone 🙏
life is hard and being trans is even hard, don't know how i made it this far, love your reality of your vlogs
My problem is, I don’t have access to a gender therapist or any counselor that is experienced in Trans people. I live in Mississippi.
i just recently started watching your videos and so far have been great,i wish this type of forum was around when i was younger,i always felt more female than male and even played and hung around girls at 3-4y.o. i played with one girl more and we would flip a coin or high card to see the part we played & she'd win and play male role and i the girl even full clothing change i thought because she didn't have a father why she piked it but i really enjoyed being a girl,to where we would even go to the school playground dressed in these roles or walk to the store,when Halloween came around my parents would ask me what i wanted to be at first i was shy about it but eventually i would borrow my friends costume from last year,Cinderella,SnowWhite,etc...,eventually we moved cross country i was devastated but she gave me a package to open only when we arrived she had given me some girls clothes inside & out with a note saying for you to continue playing dressup as you like it alot,enough rambling anyways,these videos are excellent and i am transitioning again at 52y.o. please keep them coming and i need to send a personal question about this when i find your link,thank you so much
I love your videos but somehow I missed this particular video until now. I too have questioned my gender since childhood even though i cannot attach my feelings one any particular event. It may sound strange but I felt as if is was both male and female from a young age. The one thing for me is I always felt this was a biological and never phycological. There was one event where everything first started to come together for me. In the seventh grade in a science class while talking about males who had a non typical chromosomes. It was after my class as I walked across the school yard is when it hit me that some how my gender issues where in fact biological. That event was but one of many dozens of small events that explained to me in a scientific manor how I came to be. Of course the final event came when my right testis became malignant with testicular/ovarian cancer. I was intersex, caused by a ( Timing Defect ) during my fetal gestation. Now most of my questions where answered
Very well said and presented. Great advice.
I guess my situation is odd. I had a lot of trauma issues as a child, sure, but I didn't really connect them to me realizing I was experiencing gender dysphoria at 40 years old- until I started trying to do online therapy for my gender issues and all the therapist seemed interested in was what kind of trauma from my life might have caused me to feel that way since they didn't think it was realistic that I wouldn't realize I was trans until I was that old.
So now I'm looking at the trauma from my childhood and I really can see how that might affect how I see myself from a gender perspective, but that was all decades ago, and I also don't trust that these connections I'm making aren't just me giving in to subtle gaslighting from a mildly transphobic therapist- who I've now stopped talking to. So it's just another stupid step in this whole process, where I need to figure out the truth before I can move forward with my life, and after I've already lost so many goddamn years to being in the closet. Frustration and annoyance are the main things I'm feeling over this.
I have some troubles. I always knew I was a girl and acted as how my mom raised me. As what people say a girl should act. But I'm 13 and for awhile I've wanted to be a guy and wasn't comfortable in my body. People say they figured it out by childhood experiences and now in scared that for some reason it's not true at all even though I can't change myself . Any advice?
If you have a few opinion from people with real collage type degreas do not back out! You are not getting any younger... I seriously regret not starting my path to woman hood so late. Try walking away also from this trans life box everything up you can put the boy clothes on, if that idea horrifying to you like me good sign you are trans. When you are in the shower and nude I know I hate what I see
Natasha Hughes Try to be happy and love who God made you. Don’t even worry about society and its viewpoints of male and female. You are perfect the way you are. You are not broken. God did not make a mistake.
Natasha Hughes I feel so bad for you all. You really do believe that God made a mistake and put you in the wrong body? Believe me there is no mistake, it is just a human perspective on society and gender roles that are all screwed up. God made you perfect and you should not mess with it.
Jacob Boykin FUCK YOU
@@sinpilot3195 Many have tried what you said... they tried and then many have died. The ones who do survive were usually the ones who transitioned and changed themselves. Please educate yourself more on the matter before you continue to spout more toxic nonsense.
You said your in Colorado right , can I get information about office for appointment
Both myself and my parents always thought it was something that I experienced growing up and invariably my parents did.
For me I'd like to know, not because I want to somehow find something to blame for me being transgender, or a way to reverse it, but out of curiosity.
There are several events in my childhood that possibly influenced my brain development in ways that pushed me towards transgender feelings.
One is my sister being seriously favoured by my parents, making me envious of her to the point of thinking "if only I were a girl my parents would love me more". While they loved me a lot, my sister always got first pick when it came to new toys, clothes, furniture for her room, etc. etc. and if any money was left over (we were rather poor) I got something as well, the excuse being always that "having nice stuff is more important for girls than it is for boys".
But far more important, and not something that any "conversion therapy" can ever "talk me out of" is a botched surgery as a child that probably damaged my testicles. My puberty didn't start "when it's supposed to" so doctors decided to force it by surgically moving my testicles into the scrotum. I've always thought they must have done something wrong as I never went through a proper puberty and even at 50+ years of age never had a full erection or orgasm, my body seems incapable of it.
If my theory is correct this botched surgery probably caused this through damaging the testosterone production capability of my body, leaving my developing brain with a relative excess of estrogen, thus influencing its development into a more feminine "shape" during the formative phase of puberty.
I was born a boy I can not deny the science, however I was not really a boy. I was a baby and my memories of childhood are profound.We lived on a street with a few houses across the dirt road was a farm. All the boys were older like 5 and never let me play with them, I ended up playing with the girls and did what they wanted me to do. We moved and my first playmate was a girl and we played dressed up and house and those games, then came school and I knew then I wanted to be a girl. I am!
Since I figured out that I was a woman in a male body I had nno doubts about me being trsadly that was about 10 or so years ago but looking back the signs have been there since middle school when I started hiding myse from everyone including myself part depression and maybe dysphoria
I have reached a point in my life were I can't ignore the fact that I feel like a woman and have taken steps with support for family, friends and my employer to begin my transition. Starting with them all calling me by my chosen name and living as a woman every day. With the help of my aunt who is a retired army PA I will be starting on estrogen therapy soon as well. At 51 years old I am done talking about transitioning and with limited money in my wallet I am moving forward with my goal to transition!
Can you please reply to me? I have a question about this subject: In my childhood I used to HATE being a girl so I would put stuff in my pants to make it look like a boy and even tried to use the toilet like boys do (standing up) but it didnt work, so I eventually gave up and went back to being a girl but a part of me has always been confused because I've always have been Bullied because my face does not match my body and they think im a boy there are times when it pisses me off because the way they say things are offensive and other times when im in the mood I just tell them that I am a Male. I see myself as Androgynous Female, but sometimes I like to Look like a guy, so its confusing for me... what am i?
+IGoByTooManyNames Dude That's always what the other person but to ourselves it DOES matter.
My mother knew and dressed me in girls clothes till kindergarten. Becoming a “boy” after really fucked me up. It honestly took me nearly sixty years to reprocess myself and live as my ,irrelevant now, feared I would. It’s all good. Had I been Gemme in the late fifties and early sixties I do not think I would be as “ OK” as I turned out. But yeah 62 and quite a femme looking non binary human has emerged as the whole version I am today.
What are numbers on males transforming to females as compared to females transforming to males?
Statistics vary... Higher number of MtF than FtM...
www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1qwqgr/why_is_mtf_more_common_than_ftm/
This has changed in the U.K. in recent years, now most of the kids going to the GID are FtM
I like putting _trigger warnings,_ so, TW: mention of childhood SA and gender dysphoria.
*Note: this is my experience of gender dysphoria. Just because my gender dysphoria is linked to the sa I went through, doesn’t mean that other peoples trans experiences are.*
I was sexually assaulted at 10 years old by a 12 year old. I won’t go into details (due to obvious reasons), and I’m not sure what really counts as “one off” in this case. The actual event happened 3 times but it took place on the same day.
Anyway, I got in trouble for that. Ever since that day, I developed hyper-sexuality and hyper-romanticism. I won’t go into that either. I don’t think that part is important.
In high-school, I developed gender dysphoria. At the time, I didn’t know that it was linked to what happened to me as a child, so I started socially transitioning and identifying as FtM trans. Changed my name and pronouns. I lived my school life as a boy and I felt happy. I felt really confident. I felt happy with being called a boy.
At some point, I questioned if I was really trans: I never had any issues with being seen as a girl in my childhood, in fact, I was a very feminine child. So, what happened?
I realized that the trauma that I went through likely caused some conflict where my brain was like “maybe if you were a guy, then you wouldn’t have to link yourself to what you’ve been through”
I’m 21 now. I still deal with gender dysphoria because of this. I’m agender and aroace (which, I also think is linked to the trauma- damn, what the actual f-ck? And all this time I haven’t had therapy?). Well, that’s the end of this. If y’all got any questions, feel free to ask because I’ve run out of what to say in this little post. I also deal with dissociation, so ✨fun✨ (sarcasm).
Do you have e mail or another way to send a few questions?
If you have had trauma why would you explore anything. Why not actually heal the trauma realize that if a wheel is missing put one on. Doesnt that make more sense instead of actually removing another wheel changing the whole identity of the vehichle and then damage further?
Why try to CONVINCE,someone to transition when yes ofcourse once hormones and drugs and so much sacrifice is involved who wiuld go back or say they are wrong, very few right?
Please explain this
I'm 14 and do consider myself an ftm trans guy. My mom says I'm too young to know. Is this a thing? Can I be 14 and know for sure? because I'm pretty sure I am uncomfortable with my sex & gender assigned at birth.
A lot of trans people already know that they are trans when they are toddlers. you are not too young to know! But I'd recommend you to experiment a bit and to keep your mind and opportunities open. There is the possibility of hormone blockers if you feel like you want or need medical treatment. The blockers will pretty much stop puberty. the effects are reversible. If you want more information go google it. The point of the whole "you are too young to know" thing is that teenage years can be very confusing and that there is a lot of stuff happening with your brain but no one but you knows who you are. And no one tells cis kids that they are "too young to know". Well good luck:)
By now I'm pretty much figured myself out, but thanks for the info! Blessed be!
“That was dysphoria?” 8 signs and symptoms of indirect gender dysphoria | Gender Analysis a lot of this feels like me. am I transgender?
I can’t seek for counseling bc I live in a transphobic country that doesn’t have any trans rights, and I can’t pay one online bc my parents aren’t supportive.
Thanks Dara
You did not answer the question. Are there developmental causes of gender confusion and transgenderism? Do any of your clients come to a conclusion that experiences caused their feelings of transgenderism? Can you provide a case report in which this occurred?
It feels like I contain 2 universes, a male and a female. I am the self deciding which one to be for my future and which one to relegate to the past. I have opted for a female life in the future. Probably it is because I've had enough of being a man.
have you heard of "nonbinary", "agender", "gender non-conforming", etc? you don't have to choose one or the other if you don't feel like it
I have a 95% correct hunch on how mine came about and am kewl about it.
Can you tell you're transgender by your childhood?
Yes a little. I knew at age 6 or 7
I knew "physically" I was a girl, so, growing up, I never put any thought into my gender because I didn't know that there's more than 2 genders. It was only recently that I learned that there are.
SBee There’s only 2 genders, man and woman. There are only 2 sex’s, male and female with the exception of intersex conditions.
What about you father throwing away all your toys when you were 5 because they were 'girl' toys and you are a boy? Would that homophobia, inducing shame and and being so traumatic to a 5 year old be enough? All that is required is for some event to happen wherein it triggers thoughts in someone like "maybe I'm not a boy"(in this scenario). The mind then takes over from there unless the thinking caused by homophobia is addressed by an adult. By that I mean, breaking the link that has developed now in the child that 'these are only girl toys', 'i like these toys' therefore 'i must be a girl's. This is internalised homophobia if the parents were uncomfortable with the gender non conformity. And small and big events in your life can trigger these thoughts.
There is this big question that very few seems to want to address: "why am I not comfortable being in my body of birth?" Next thing that comes to my mind is I hardly think it would be a single trauma or some childhood "events" causing this. It has to be something more prolonged, shaping the image of what we are in a long-time process. This would for example be some kind of role model, an unspoken thought of the parents, appearing in non verbal communication ("I wish you were a girl/boy"), or straight out manipulative behavior. These are not necessarily so easy to track down in retrospect, they may be very subtle, but still crucial for the little kid.
"It doesn't matter what caused me to be transgender" is as such a very doubtful thought. Of course it matters, and denying that is a self-delusion, protecting the new shape you are trying to attach to, but giving up the being you were born to be.
Gender dysphasia is innate. It isn’t caused by environmental factors.
People we need to stop all this craziness. Just accept who God made you. Forget about what society says about being male or female. You are perfect the way you were made. Don’t change a thing. I am praying for everyone who sees this channel. Please don’t mutilate yourself or transform yourself with chemicals to match something that is in your mind. I promise you can be extremely happy being who you are. Transgender therapist is a strange term to me.
Jacob, gender dysphoria is a scientifically proven ailment, and treatment for it varies to the individual. Many transgender women for instance never do end up going through with srs. Pray all you want for us, but the prayers won't fix the problem.
TheRockhound119 with God all things are possible. I’m just say be happy with who you are, how you were made. Don’t change a thing. If you were on a deserted island from birth with no one to show you what “male” or “female “ is “supposed to be, I doubt very much you would feel you were in the wrong body. It is more of a social thing. The Native Americans hold these type of people with great reverence saying they have knowledge of both man and woman. However they never thought the cut into their genitalia To change the way they look on the outside. That is just what it is looks. I do not doubt gender dysmorphia is real I do believe however there’s more in the mindset and there is no such thing as a cure and there is also no such thing as sexual reassignment surgery, to me it is body mutilation. You could never make a woman a man or a man a woman. I’m not even saying is wrong to feel that way, just wrong to mutilate yourself to achieve what you feel. Literally be happy with who God made you. Some people are born blind, or without arms or legs, some with both genitals, just be happy with who the good Lord made you. And I will continue praying for all of you I pray that you truly see that the creator of this universe created you Perfect.
@@sinpilot3195 unfortunately, it is not just a social thing, but is biological as well. Your view would hold credence if it was just social, which it is not.
TheRockhound119 social or not should we not just love and appreciate who we were made. So what you’re a boy who feels like a girl or a girl who feels there a boy. So you feel how you feel but where is the need to actually cut oneself to obtain a desired look. We care far to much about feelings and don’t see the reality. We are made perfect not broken.
TheRockhound119 so your stance is change who you are in the outside to match the inside, right? Why not change the inside to match the outside. We know that’s wrong but are ok with the changing the outside. I say don’t change a thing, you are who you are. No doctor on this planet can change you into something you’re not. Please understand my point of view comes from my heart with love and compassion. It is terrible to be so confused. Rely on God he is the one who created it all and in my opinion deserves respect and he doesn’t make mistakes.