challenging my agoraphobia because my brain is a liar (I'M NOT GIVING UP)
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- Опубликовано: 25 апр 2024
- Over the last few years, my fear of leaving my house has grown to the point where I'm rarely going anywhere that isn't my living room. I’ve always been a raging introvert and homebody, but I haven’t always been terrified when I need to quickly run to the store. All I want is to get back to the person I was 10 years ago - the person that spontaneously moved to Europe and Australia, went on solo vacations, and went to the movie theaters by myself on the weekends. That version of me feels so far away from who I am today, but I know she's not gone forever.
Recently, I've been doing my best to give myself small challenges so I can slowly overcome this huge mountain of anxiety (partly for me, but mostly for my family...my sons.) I’d be lying if I said it was going well most of the time because, more often than not, it’s a complete disaster. But today was a huge win, and I am so grateful I get to share this with you!
If your anxiety looks anything like mine, just know i'm in this with you. Just keep putting in the reps and hitting singles.
I love you! ♥
- em
/ S U P P O R T
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// C O N T A C T
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Can't say I've ever teared up, squealed in joy, shouted 'hooray' for a complete stranger with such gusto as I did watching this video. Your transparency and willingness to do the hard stuff has GOT to be helping so many people, but most most most importantly, YOU WENT TO A BOOKSTORE, BOUGHT BOOKS ANNNNND LOUSY COFFEE!! Do it for you and those babies. But thank you for sharing it all with us so we can find the grit in us to try the hard things too.
Very very well said !!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO NICE 🥹♥️
Well said. This was so good to watch. So many of us are proud.
I draw so much inspiration and strength from her! Well said comment!!❤
Omg i cried with you!!! What a f*ing win!!!! Its not linear but it doesn’t meant we cant find stability. Two ideas can be true at the same time. Thank you for being so authentic
You asked an employee?! That is another level of achievement. Congratulations!
RIGHT?! It’s so amazing.
My 8 year old had to ask an employee a question for me the other day 😳
@@lammieslippers I am glad your 8yo could help out. You will have more opportunities. Keep faith in yourself.
@@saraloveskids ♥️
Agreed! Walking up to a stranger, regardless of whether it's an employee, and asking a question is another level, maybe a couple of levels!
I am so sick of hearing "its not that big of deal" from people who have no idea whats going on inside my head.
Keep doing the things. Keep being proud. Because at the end of the day, the only one that'll know how big of a step that was, is you, and that's all that really matters.
👏👏👏👏👏
Right? I asked my landlord to put on a mask when he came by to fix something. I was SO scared of asking for what I needed. I was doing EFT tapping and somatic exercises and speaking to myself reassuringly but I STILL felt anxious and unsafe. He ended up being completely okay with it and wore a mask. On the outside it looked like a simple text exchange. But on the inside that was like lifting a HUGE weight.
Yes!!
@@user-dl8rt4rt6uway to go for asking for what you needed.💪🏻
Hi!! I'm a therapist and I just wanted to let you know this is HUGE! Also just a little unsolicited idea for you that you can completely skip over if you'd like but:
Now that you've done this you get to remind yourself next time of how successful you've been even though you were scared. It's not linear but no one can take this time away from you so instead of "it might not always be this good" try to view it as "this time was SO good" also since you are able to match the excitement of other people, now you have this version of yourself who was so excited to have accomplished this that you're bringing around with you everywhere. Try to match her excitement. Not guaranteed to work or anything but just an idea😊 I'm so happy for you
That is brilliant thanks for sharing❤
With 1k comments I don’t think you will see this, but thank you. Thank you for holding a mirror up for me. Because I am supremely talented at gaslighting myself into believing I am just a terrible mom when I take my kids out alone and my anxiety puts me into a panic. I feel so guilty, but it is because my brain is a big lying liar!!
I’m so grateful my video could help you even in a small way. You’re doing a great job, and I hope you can be patient with yourself!
This is NOT a small thing. Any time you have to overpower your own brain because even though you KNOW it’s a liar, it is extraordinarily difficult to overcome. This is AMAZING! Well done Elyse!
Haha just grinning like an idiot watching how proud of herself she was at the end 😭. She did so good.
What a sweet soul. We need more Elyse’s in the world
this video is making me realize I also have agoraphobia and it was such an "aha" moment and explains so much
Same!!
I have social anxiety 😂
Lately my brain has been telling me my family deserves better, I’m useless , no one wants me around. You saying “my brains a liar” and doing the hard things, gives me hope maybe one day I’ll be okay too. Thank you for sharing your struggles. I feel less alone.
You're brain is a liar! You have a place on this earth! You deserve space in this lifea
You deserve this life, a good life with moments of happiness!
Stay around, it will get better. I promise!
Thank you for sharing yours. YOU made me feel less alone. I just got done sobbing saying out loud that I am useless. Now I will say out loud my brain is a mother fn liar ❤❤❤
My brain is a liar too
I know the struggles of agoraphobia way too well. I got it in 2011. I am almost 100% housebound. I could do all the things alone before, travel, go to the movies. But now i cant leave my house unless i am physically hold on to someone or at least see them at all times.
and it is a big deal, to just leave your house. going to the bookstore, thats so big. you really need to be proud of yourself.
i am so proud of you elyse
It is so difficult! I've had it for most of my life, to the point where I wouldn't go anywhere alone. Not even a drive thru! I made it past that point, but only out of sheer necessity. The stress/anxiety leading up to having to leave the house, is indescribable.
I can't imagine having this, after feeling more "normal". I'm sure that makes it all the more difficult. Sending you virtual hugs 🫂
@@HiKingMargo i dont have a drivers license so i had to depend on people around me. At times it really is unbearable and it feels like there is no way out from this.
I only have myself tho. I dont have any children nor a partner so it kinda only effects me. I dont feel like i have anyone to fight for.
Sorry for rambling
@whoevenknows7488 you might feel alone but you have you to fight for. I struggle to get out teletherapy has been so helpful. I struggle to take showers and it's so annoying because it makes no sense but it's just something I'm dealing with. I hope you know that it doesn't define who you are and you are important, even when you feel you are alone. you might feel alone but you have you to fight for. When I struggle to get out teletherapy has been so helpful. I struggle to take showers and it's so annoying because it makes no sense but it's just something I'm dealing with. I hope you know that it doesn't define who you are and you are important, even when you feel you are alone. Thank you for commenting. That's very brave to share your struggle.
There's a pod cast the anxious truth that helps a lot
I to feel this and it is so painful at times but we aren't alone. It is something that can be fought.
I loved The Midnight Library, I don't think you'll be sad you picked it up. My therapist tells me every time I don't go to the bookstore, the relief I feel is a small dopamine reward toward reinforcing the habit of letting myself off the hook. So good job! Well done! You got your dopamine hit from going! So proud of you.
I also love the midnight library!!
I loved the midnight library too!
Wow that’s a good point from the therapist thank you for sharing. Changes the perspective for me❤
I so loved that book!!
I also loved this book but just an FYI to check the trigger warnings and read when you feel it's safe to. The book has a great message overall but some of those early chapters are hard if you're going through it!!
You talk about doing things with people being easier -- this is 100% something I struggle with. I tell people that I can do anything on the second try. But I need someone to do it with the first time. I can go to stores, restaurants, places, etc but I can't do it the first time without a partner to tackle it with. It's like a mental block when I go places and I don't know what I'll encounter. It's so good hearing other people talk about having similar experiences.
My adult son is always very nervous about going new places, so I just started casually explaining & “showing my work” by telling him how I gather info b4 going somewhere, how I think thru what is likely to happen, and what my “plan b” is, like when we try a new restaurant or a new form of recreation. I didn’t actively talk about my anxiety a lot tho, it’s about a balance with kids, you want to be real but not parent an issue onto them.
@helloboldt You've just described my exact struggle as well! Glad to know I'm not the only one! My brain is a liar and likes to tell me I'm the only one who struggles in this way, that everyone else just effortlessly does everything all on their own all of the time, but I guess that's not the case. 💗
“I don’t want to hold back my kids because of me”. That rang so true to me, you don’t even understand. (Or maybe you do…you probably do…well, of course you do, this whole video was about that!). Anyway, thank you for this. I didn’t think I was going to watch the whole thing but I had my bowel of cereal and I just got sucked into this journey with you. I appreciate you. Keep up the great progress!
My brain also is a liar
idk why they do that, it seems so silly
@@elyse_myers they are supposed to keeps us alive but they get broken or damage or unbalance somehow and it is just lies and fears 😥
@@elyse_myersa therapist once told me that it might be helpful to remember that even though our brains lie, they’re just doing their best to try to keep us alive, and we can think of those initial thoughts and fears as suggestions that we don’t have to follow. My imagination immediately went to a meeting of my brain, my body, and all of the parts of me where the brain is like, “we should just drive into that pole” or “.. but what if something really bad happens when we do this simple thing?” Then I can say, “Thank you for that input, brain, but that’s not the direction we want to go in right now.” It’s ridiculous, but it helps, and the formality/business-like context of that imaginary scenario also makes me chuckle, which kind of takes me out of those serious feelings for a second. Just sharing in case that coping mechanism is helpful for you, or anyone else here. 💜 I’m so freakin’ proud of you!
@@MakeItDontFakeIt I really like this idea... thanks for sharing!
@@MakeItDontFakeItI love that thank you so much❤ I will say that next impulsive thought I get. I usually think about opening the car door😢 thanks brain but no thanks
Elyse, I have agoraphobia too. I'm so proud of you! We will get there one day! It is a big deal! Honor your accomplishment, big or small, friend.
Same here. Hugs 🫂 ❤
Me too. (Husbands RUclips we share). I needed this video. If I get out of practice I regress. I close more and more in. It is so great that she share her platform to show sick vulnerable things.
Same and yes we will!!
I relate also. I'm having a medical issue tonight and probably should go to the ER, but I would rather sit at home and try to work through it on my own. I do stuff like this more than I should in fact I can't think of anywhere I've been in the last week. My mother died early in the month, and it's made things worse for me in that regard. I find that I just really don't want to do anything anyway.
@Court75 I'm so sorry about your Mother. 💜
I never comment on RUclips videos but this one has truly released something in me that I feel compelled to let you know. As another mother who has challenged my social anxiety I am so proud of you. When my son was little, I pushed myself to attend play groups and mostly regretted it but I knew it was good for my son, even if it killed me at times. Fast forward 7 years and last night I took my family to play Pool, we got nachos and a pitcher of soda, had fun and left. I still felt uncomfortable taking up a table when there were others wanting to have more fun than I was capable of but I did it anyway. I’ve taken the mindset of ‘do it scared’ and it has helped. Keep going and know that these videos reach people who feel so foreign in a world that seems so easy for them and we feel so understood.
struggling with agoraphobia really badly right now. thank you for sharing your journey. it really helps to see that i’m not alone. i’m so proud of you for pushing yourself and making progress :) we can do hard things!!
Elyse I sobbed after watching this video. I’ve never related to something more. Knowing someone understands the grief you feel when your world gets smaller because of anxiety… and giving words to what it feels like to admit that you need to make room for it and not hate yourself because of it… it’s humbling and such a relief to know that I’m not alone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. You are a gift ❤
From one anxiety ridden mom to another good on you! Its amazing the strength our children give us to push ourselves to be better! I want to put out there that even if your boys end up with some of the same mental health issues you have, it is not due to anything you've done. I repeat if your boys end up having anxiety it is NOT YOUR FAULT! As a matter of fact your boys will be lucky to have you to help them if it happens. You're an amazing mom and an inspiration to me.
I needed this encouragement so badly, you have no idea. Thank you 😭
I struggle with that. Thank you. 😊
My 8 year old has anxiety and during an anxiety attack, I was able to help ground her and help her through it. Later she told me how thankful she was that I knew what to do to help. And that it was a scary feeling, but I made it so much better.
Elyse, I found you on TikTok a while ago and genuinely enjoyed your content. Not only are you hilarious but I've also related a lot to your struggles so I was sad to see you leave TikTok. I searched for you on RUclips and finding this video was a blessing. I’m 31 and have been struggling with panic disorder and agoraphobia since I was 20. It’s something I’m deeply frustrated and ashamed of. Seeing this representation helped me shed a layer of shame. Thank you for sharing, and I’m so grateful for your online presence. And most importantly, way to fucking go!!!! Keep on keeping on!!
OMG, to hear you say that you used to not have the anxiety you feel hits so hard. I was just thinking about the fact that I used to not only go out places but and over the past ~15 years that just completely reversed. I don't even know when, how or why it happened it just became my life. The anxiety of interacting with people and going places and it's not like I even had anyone at home to try and balance things with.
Thank you for sharing that part of your story.
"sometimes I worry I'll just be this way forever" ugh! Feel this! I was so sad for years after I started having anxiety, like I had to grieve my old self, would I ever see her again? I do now! I see glimpses of her as I heal, and I also have learned to give myself grace and love myself through this process. You will get there. Proud of you!! 🥰 It's a tiny win for us all 😊
Those moments where you see parts of who you were before everything got heavy and messy is so magical. Like little candles in the dark!
@@elyse_myers Yes! Little candles of hope 🕯️
This part got me too!! I had a relapse of debilitating anxiety a few years ago even though everything in my life was fine. It was devastating and yet…it passed too. Thank you Elyse for sharing the reality of the joys and terrors of living ~alongside~ anxiety.
Don't discount physical reasons like when's the last time had iron checked? Things in body can effect mentality
Yeah that feeling is so hopeless. Like I start wondering if I WILL have to live like this for the rest of my life and how will I bear it?
And sometimes I’m just mad because it seems so unfair that things that are so easy for other people are so hard for me. I so desperately want to be able to go to the store, or stop at a gas station I haven’t been to before, without feeling panicked and afraid and avoiding it. It sucks having this impediment to living my life the way other people get to live theirs
I have anxiety, too. I’m afraid to go to the doctor and just made an appointment yesterday after avoiding it for the past 5 years. Avoidance is the worst part of anxiety for me, so seeing you push yourself to do things that are hard and scary makes me really proud of you. And it helps me want to be brave, too.
👏👏👏
I have had anxiety since I was 10 years old. I can feel your pain! Avoidance is hard for me, too. Going to the doctor is the best thing you can do, though. I love my doctor. He has seen me through some rough times. And search utube for anxiety advice. So many useful channels come up. I love listening to Elyse, and reading the comments helps me so much! Lots of love ❤️
Same. I didn’t go for 6 years and finally went to a doctor last year. Driving there, my heart was pounding to the point I was getting lightheaded. You know what though? Once it was all over, I was like, THAT’S what I was so anxious about?! It’s like the longer I put it off, the more I build it up in my head to where it’s almost insurmountable.
Right there with you in being afraid of the doctor. Making an appointment can be the hardest step!
Doctors are particularly scary, especially if you have bad experience with authority figures or any kind of physical or sexual trauma, doctors bring all that out.
It helps a lot to read reviews and bring a trusted friend. If you have a trusted cis white male friend, they also make dealing with sexist doctors way easier.
I had a bad experience with doctors in 2019 and through pushing myself I finally feel like I resolved that anxiety the day before yesterday with a good doctor's appointment where they listen and keep working through the options. I just need to feel like I know how to manage the issue and that doctors will be there if something gets worse. But not getting that from previous doctors made me paranoid for 3 years and very anxious the next two years.
All that to say, your feelings are normal give yourself all the accomodations you need to get through it.
The way you talk about things that aren't "that big of a deal" to others but are massive to you, felt so nice to hear from someone other than myself. For example, doing laundry is one of the most overwhelmingly daunting tasks that weirdly feels like a boss fight in Dark Souls and I hate telling people that because they always have THE LOOK about them. You cannot tell me you don't have all energy and motivation seeped out of your body and then are blasted with anxiety when you see that wall of smoke just sitting there, and you have to do it.
I'm crying. You're such a gorgeous, special human being. Thank you for sharing this/yourself with us.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m actively struggling with severe anxiety/depression/OCD leading to agoraphobia.
I legit screenshotted a bunch of the transcript so I can write them out to help me when I’m struggling!
You’re doing great! Keep it up 💙
This makes me so happy!!! I’m so glad it was helpful!!! 😭♥️
Wow. You've ACTUALLY made me want to face my fears and go to the pharmacy to pick up my meds (which I haven't taken in a couple of days because of my fear of going out and I have been feeling crappy because of it)! It's crazy how I've JUST found your chanel out, right when I needed a boost of confidence. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Did you get them? Make sure to be kind to your future self and pick them up soon! Cheering for you!
@@MusicalMerle I DID IT! And I even took the trash out on my way there! I feel so proud of myself! Thanks a lot!
Rewatch it when you need the inspiration best tip I saw somewhere on the internet , like to capture the thing that gave you the motivation to do the thing
You did it!! That’s so awesome!! 🎉🥳
You did it!!! Congratulations! I'm so proud of you, you are amazing!
You are SO honest and SO relatable, and it is indescribably heartwarming to see you challenge your lying brain! Not to mention encouragement to challenge my own lying brain! Thank you for being brave enough to share your journey; it's truly such inspiration
I usually don’t comment but AAAHH I ADORE YOU! 🥹🥰 watching these are so freaking therapeutic! My BIG anxiety right now is driving. I’ve finally got my license at 25 after a very abusive childhood and I have my first ever car and I am PETRIFIED of driving but seeing you 1, drive so effortlessly! And 2, overcome your anxiety in a different way, helps me soooo much ❤️ keep being you Elyse and keep showing us as much or as little as you like. I’m such a diehard fan of you and your realness 🥹😭
I'm 62 and have been fighting my anxiety for years. It got worse after the pandemic when we were told to stay home. So I did and now I find it hard to go out and be around people.
I too have always loved bookstores. Just hanging out in a bookstore with all my new imaginary friends and their stories. I live in a small town with no big bookstores, so I check out the Goodwill if I get the nerve to leave the house.
As soon as show a clip inside barnes and noble I said "SHE WENT IN!!!!" out loud. I'm so proud of you for even trying!! I relate to all of your feelings so much and also have abrain that's a big liar 😅
Right?! And then when she said she ASKED someone for something, my heart exploded and time stopped.
I'm really grateful you posted this. I needed to hear this today. Especially at the end, when you said that sometimes you might just be this way forever, but that is okay and you sort of have to come to terms with it. It's something I've been really struggling with a lot lately. Accepting how I've changed and how I am now. But it made me feel good to know I'm not alone at least. 💜
Never give up. You are a national treasure. We need you. ❤
I’m neurotypical so maybe I can’t fully get it what you’re going through but I definitely couldn’t help smiling at how happy you were and being happy for you. And then looking up the books you bought.
Your encouragement means so much! Thank you!
Watching your content helps me learn how to be kind to myself. You're just a few years older than me, and you're going through SO many of the exact things I'm scared will happen in my future. Seeing you make it through once day at a time is comforting in the weirdest way
there are plenty of us that DO realize what a big deal it is i promise you. ive been agoraphobic since childhood, had ups and downs, years of being okay only to become housebound again in the last few and i just want to say that it is a big deal. its a big big deal!
and posting this video is a big deal for people like me to hear someone else put into comprehensible words the same things i experience and struggle with. i recognized so much of my self and so many of my own thought processes in nearly everything you said. so thank you, SO proud of you, and you're not alone. keep going 🩷
I’m CRYING at how excited you are. I often struggle to identify with or understand people who get nervous or anxious in certain situations but listening to how hopeful you were while going through your list and then seeing the absolute joy on your face when you got back to the car hit me hard. Today you taught me how to be a more empathetic person ❤️
I'm sitting here tearing up because I've been dealing with the most awful anxiety and agoraphobia for the last 4 years and I am so happy for you,- your "I did it!" was so joyful.
Great job, Elyse! Thank you for being so transparent and letting other people know they are not alone. Whether you realize it or not, that is very brave! And also very kind. I used to do all sorts of things-travel to Europe multiple times, fly cross-country, and now it's daunting to do things I used to do without giving it any thought once so ever. Your brain IS a liar. Thank you for sharing both your struggles and your victories!!! I'm so happy to celebrate your wins with you.
I’m so proud of you too!! I used to go to bookstores all the time and loved them. I have anxiety and agoraphobia, so don’t go out as much as I used to, especially alone. Thank you for being so open and honest about what you’re really thinking and feeling.
Also, our brains do lie like liars 💯
Super proud of you too girl! I have severe anxiety/panic attacks, & I recently traveled on a plane alone for the very first time. I cried in both airports & had to have someone on the phone with me the whole time, but I survived it physically WITHOUT a panic attack. Just because something’s easy for someone else, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. We all have different “hard.” I’m really proud of you for facing yours, & surviving too. Sending love. 💛
that is hugeeee!! congrats 🫶🏼
Congratulations!!! What a win. And yes- everyone has a different "hard." I can go into the bookstore with ease, but traveling makes me 🥴 it's nice that there's a community here of people who are doing their best and inching forward however we can! 🎉
I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone and also for sharing with others.
Thank you for sharing! Way to go!! I haven't flown since 2007 (?) and dealt with issues traveling far from home even though I used to travel a lot, including living abroad...it's so hard noticing these changes in ourselves and not having the easy 'fix' to be able to do all the things. I agree, that everyone has their 'hard' and it's so awesome and important to try and learn about ourselves in order to face and deal with our 'hards', and get the chance to grow! Any tips for pushing through and getting on the plane? Way to go!!
Omg Elyse! 🤩🎉🥳 You went to the bookstore, you interacted with multiple employees, got a lot of books (which you had to traverse the bookstore to get to) and even got the journal you set out to get last time you tried! I am so proud of you! Thank you for sharing your victory with us. You are so appreciated!
What you said about accepting that you may just be this way, that’s so important and so often overlooked. You’re valuable as you are now, with your anxiety. And keep working at it, but also you are already enough as you are.
I had agoraphobia for years. Then one day it just clicked in my head that no matter what, some people will always judge me. And others won’t. And I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. Somehow that magically shifted my anxiety and I’ve been a lot better since then. I only have very mild anxiety now, and it’s been about 10 years. I’m really grateful for that lightning bolt realization that came kind of out of nowhere.
Lol I took a screenshot of your comment. I’ll think about this next time
@@Justmyeverydaylife7 🤘🏻
My improvements has also being out of nowhere and I'm glad, but at the same time I wish I could help someone, but since I didn't know how it happened to me I can't help others.
I didn't have agoraphobia but I had incredible social anxiety for a long time, turns out I was just introverted who didn't realize I was introverted. Oops.
Scathingly brilliant idea: "Paint along with Elyse." You sit and paint. Literally anything. I make a library program out of it where 10 people come and we all paint long with your video. Like Bob Ross, only it'd be you! We already do a monthly Fireside crafting program where we put a fake fire video on the TV in our meeting room and paint tiny canvasses together. No one knows what they are doing, but it's fun.
That's a great idea! I'd advocate for that in my local library!
I’m in! ❤
OMG yes, please!
3:04 "Even though my mind can't, my body can, so I'm going to let my body do what it can do and let my mind catch up." This is amazing, I need to write this down and frame it to remind myself when I'm afraid to go somewhere ❤
Honestly! I felt so seen when you were raging about turning left! I have so much anxiety around driving, but mine has to do with stop lights and they make me very very uncomfortable. I am so wonderfully proud of you, Elyse. I've been following your story for a bit and you are so down to earth and relatable with so many things. You're just real, and I love that. I hope your candy bar was good and that you keep hitting those homeruns with each social experiment that you do.
While I don’t have agoraphobia, I do have severe anxiety, and I needed to see this video today. Having a high anxiety day and I’m just so stuck feeling. I’m feeling so inspired after your video. Congrats on such a successful book store visit. I’m proud of you. ❤
I have agoraphobia as well. Unless I absolutely HAVE to leave the house, I don't. It's so difficult and stressful making it out of the house to even go get groceries and go to appointments 😢😢
It makes things worse, because I have lived where I live, most of my life. The thought of running into people unexpectedly is horrifying for me. For whatever reason, I have found going out in areas I'm not familiar with, is easier, even though I get stressed by unfamiliar surroundings. I wish it made sense.
All of this is to say, like many others, you're not alone. And thank you for being vulnerable sharing all of this with us! ❤❤❤
I'm so proud of you, Elise! I have agoraphobia too, and anxieties about driving, which makes it even worse. Doing anything alone sounds absolutely terrifying to me. You're inspiring me to make my own list of things to do by myself when I feel brave. ❤❤❤
I have never seen anyone transferring to a video my mental barrier to go anywhere outside my home so well. Thank you! And you go, girl!
Weep. I'm so proud of you! I feel this so hard and it is a win. Youre doing it mama. Thats the thing. 👏
I never finished The Midnight Library, but his book Reasons to Stay Alive was a book that I do recommend!
Thank you so much! Also, looking your book recommendation up right this second! 😍
I recommend “furiously happy” by Jenny Lawson to everyone! And I’m getting these two you said, thank you :)
I read the midnight library!! It's so so so good. Matt Haig's is able to bring a whole new perspective on the afterlife. The book is a little dark in the beginning I thought...but I did cry happy tears by the end. ❤ I'm so excited for you to read it!
I know what's that like .. I have the same feelings about going out to venture.. in my case I think the isolation of covid and being home to recuperate from illness did it .. proud of you stay strong... you got this ❤
Crying genuine tears of joy for you! So proud of you doing the hard work and letting us share in your WIN! ❤
You got a coffee and books for you and the kids! Seriously that is huge! Like, I do not have agoraphobia, but I do have ptsd that morphs into other things when it is triggered. So I can at least relate to the huge change forward.😢 #proud
Most of my experience with ghosts is that they're generally trying to ignore you as much as you're trying to ignore them. Strangers in public are much the same way. I remind myself of that basically every time I go outside. No one else is paying as much attention to me as I am.
Go you for continuing to challenge yourself ❤ it takes so much strength to face these things and do the thing *for you*
As someone who has struggled with agoraphobia silently I really appreciate you showing this. Mini goals and practice is such a good mindset ❤
Cannot tell you how much I needed this video today
Is it weird to feel so proud of someone you've never met on the internet? Because I am so proud and happy for you ❤ this video was just pure joy
Not weird at all! I’m super grateful for your encouragement, thank you! 🥹
I had really bad agoraphobia almost twenty years ago and now it’s soooo much better… from doing exactly the little, one step at a time, things you’re doing now. Keep going!
This was so beautiful to watch! Thank you so much for sharing this and being so vulnerable. You've inspired me to try something I'm scared of and to give myself grace and begin to accept that maybe I will always have some of the things that I have to deal with and that's okay.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you!
So proud of you! Thank you for putting yourself out there and also sharing your experience with people online. It's such a magical gift to be able to give people who have similar anxieties even just a glimmer of hope! You're amazing and we all love you!
Elyse, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Every time I watch you explain an authentic part of yourself, I gain language to explain how I feel. I'm a medical school student and my husband and I are trying to start a family. Recently, we've been working on my brain being a "liar". It means the world to hear you so eloquently elaborate on a struggle that I thought I was alone in facing.
I am so proud of you! YOU DID IT!!! You did even more than you set out to do and that it's definitely a "home run". I smile with pure joy when I see you accomplishing your goals (and even when you don't because you tried and that takes so much will-power and effort). I'm rooting for you every single time! I hope to grow with you in this aspect of life 😊
I also really REALLY love journals lol
I have agoraphobia too, and although it's not that big of a deal, it's also SUCH a big deal. And if you're in a major city like LA (where I am) where it's just so insanely people-y everywhere, it's a whole different kinda deal. I get it 😊
Feel this haaard. I moved to LA last year after living in Canada my whole life and my agoraphobia got so much worse there. Ended up moving back to Vancouver and feeling stronger every day.
I see so much of myself in you and I am so proud of you for sharing these struggles. It’s made me feel less alone. I get how hard that was!! Grocery store was difficult for me for a period and I had to work through that anxiety
So proud of you!!! You’re doing amazing. Like seriously, you are doing wonderful. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Keep going girl. 🥰💜
Elyse, you are not alone! I used to have panic attacks just driving across my small town. After 4 years of therapy, the correct combo of meds I can now drive across multiple states. I drove myself to one of my favorite places that is 4 states away that I usually just ride with others to. I literally cried tears of relief and joy when I arrived! You will absolutely go far past wherever you hope to go! You are working so hard at this and I am happy and excited for you!
As a fellow anxious person struggling & battling with my mental health (and physical health) agorophobic mess, I just want to say I am SO *PROUD* OF YOU!!!!!! Seriously, I am cheering you on so much!
Also, the Midnight Library book, I loved it so so much! It pulled me in pretty quickly and I couldn’t put it down. I hope you love it as much as I did.
I loved the midnight library! Also i love you showing the struggle and also, maybe more importantly, i love seeing you celebrate that you went out. That is one of the things i struggle the most with is celebrating after the win. It was just really nice to see
I felt this video in my soul. I've never had someone describe the way my social anxiety effects me, in the exact way it feels in my brain. It can feel so lonely when your brain is like that and you don't know anyone else that feels like that. My mother also struggled with agoraphobia. Thank you for making this video and letting me know I'm not alone, also you are not alone. It's hard out there. It may not be hard for other people, but they don't have you brain so they don't get to judge.
I have severe anxiety so I can relate to so much that you’ve shared. You saying you don’t want your sons to be held back by you (your anxiety) hit me hard. I have 2 grown sons and unfortunately my anxiety held them back. I am so grateful for their resilience and determination to overcome the challenges that that caused them! I’m proud of you for recognizing that in you and striving to do better for yourself and your children!
I want so badly to be a mom and my anxiety is holding me back in part because I am so afraid of screwing my kids up the way my mom screwed my sister and I up.
I'm so happy for you. I don't usually cry about people outside of my immediate family, but when you started talking about how you wanted to beat agoraphobia for the sake of your sons... I could feel that tears were working their way up to my eyes, even if they didn't actually end up rolling down. Don't give up doing small but hard things, Elyse! They all add up!
This video is really encouraging. I like the idea of writing out all the things you want to do on your own eventually, I’m going to try that too. And congrats to you for crossing something off that list, and on World Book Day no less! I have a dentist appointment next week that I have been meaning to reschedule for the last week but keep putting it off because I have so much anxiety around making phone calls, but I decided that today is the day I am finally going to make that call and it’s 100% because of this video. Thank you for sharing this with us ❤
Good gods, I felt every moment of this with you. You're a beautiful soul, Elyse. Thank you for your willingness to share your struggles and triumphs.
THE HERSHEY'S KISS on the external hard drive (portable charger?) in the background makes me so happy!
It’s a 4TB hard drive! Hahaha and of course we have to keep some emergency chocolate around just in case 😂
Wow, Elyse. Your talk in the car struck such a chord with me. When I turned 30 my health anxiety got so much worse and I developed contamination OCD. There are so many days when I wish I could just go back to the way I was before and don't understand why my life has to be like this. But there are other areas of my life where I've worked on my anxiety as well, and I try a little bit every day. And you're right, so much of it is just accepting that this is the way I am now and I have to learn and try every day to live with it instead of wishing it would just disappear and things would go back to they way they were.
YAY! You did it. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing these big challenging moments. love to you and your journey.
I am so proud I literally started crying at work 😂 I went to the gym for the first time since my freshman year of high school (I’m going to college in the fall which is HUGE) and I absolutely get “I DID IT” my friend who is also my trainer walked me through it all and I felt so strong so I’m so proud of you and it’s so special that I feel like I’m also growing with you
WOW!!! I was so happy when it was clear that you walked in in the door, but then more photos of the store, of books!!! You absolutely knocked it out of the park!! I was so worried when you started out on your adventure, because I watched the one where you wanted to go to that cute stationary shop and get a journal, and I felt so heartbroken for you, but what an absolute happy ending to your adventure. I’m so happy for you. I think you just made my day.
There are so many places I want to go when I force myself to go out to grocery shopping for the week and I just can't bring myself to go and do the things because I know just how drained I will already be with getting the groceries, and I only have enough energy for the groceries I HAVE to get for my toddler and I to survive. Thank you for sharing your struggles with us so we can celebrate your accomplishments with you. Your journey is an inspiration. Solidarity. 💙
Thank you Elyse for always being your "authentic self" & sharing your struggles...I struggle with similar things and I have had some true milestones recently that were 4 years in the making...so continue to celebrate each "stepping stone moment " and even treasure the setbacks because they all have a "ripple effect" and continue to transform into the person we are meant to be in each moment and season of our lives💗☺️🦋🙏
Elyse! I am so freakin’ proud of you! This brought happy tears to my eyes 💜
The last thing that could cross my mind is “it’s not that big of a deal, get over yourself “. Public spaces are scary, interacting with people is intimidating, being perceived is weird as heck. I can do a couple of things on your list but I have other things not on your list that I can’t do, and I’m trying to work on it. I love watching your videos because you are so inspiring, and I am proud of you just as I am proud of myself!
You’re killin it and you rock!
I’m fully crying tears of happiness for you. This was a HUGE day!!! YOU DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for sharing this special day.
And also thank you for sharing the days that don’t feel as special to you. Real pockets of life are always special. Even if they don’t seem like it to you. ❤
So happy for you, especially the part about radically accepting some of the things that feel like they limit us or that the world says need to be *fixed,* I have survived 3 traumatic brain injuries and have several limitations and sometimes I felt like it was limiting my kiddo but he is now 12 and a very gentle kind person and I think that experiencing my radical acceptance of my limitations and need for accommodations has probably contributed to him being thoughtful towards his own and others needs. You are the perfect parent for your children right now, you always will be, we are given the parents we need, and more than needing to go places, August and Oliver just need to know they are loved, which they always will ❤
Heck yes, Elyse!! Keep pursuing those goals! They’re a big deal that will lead you to more freedom. And thanks for sharing your journey of processing and goal reaching. Cheering for you! 🎉🎉🎉
You did it! I see you. I feel this. I'm so proud of you. Thank you for putting your journey out here for the rest of us who are going through similar experiences. Seeing your joy made me happy cry and gives me hope for more days like that for both of us. 💖
I teared up just before you. I am so proud of you, you did it!
I also have agoraphobia. The saddest part for me is looking back at all of the special events for my son that I’ve missed.
When he graduated from high school he was class president and after his speech I had to leave. The medics at the medical tent we passed on the way out wanted to take me to the ER, that’s how shaken up I was.
He was supposed to graduate from college this weekend. I was so excited, I wasn’t going to miss it for the world. We had a plan b, a backup plan, and a contingency plan. I was ready. He called me Thursday to say, JK, I’m actually graduating in August, I have one more class to take this summer. That scamp. Now I have 3 months to be extra, EXTRA, ready for the real graduation ❤
Thank you Elyse! I felt this down to my toes. It IS an incredibly huge accomplishment! Good for you!! I remember being fearless but fear and anxiety have crept into my mind and you have inspired me. I have no words to say how happy I am for you with this win! You are not alone, this stranger hears you and is cheering you on.
I am SO excited for you, Elyse! Seeing you so unbelievably happy and just vibrating through the screen that you DID this BIG, HUGE thing was amazing! Good for you! One step at a time.
Elyse, you're not alone. I've had severe agoraphobia for years. I was completely housebound for almost two years at one point, and even just stepping into my back yard was a big challenge for me. There are lot of things that "aren't a big deal" to other people that are a big deal for me too. Last week was the first time in at least five years, if not more, that I've ordered something from a little coffee shop and actually sat in the shop to eat a little bit before leaving. And I still can't do it without people with me. I would love to one day be able to go out somewhere for fun, and not as a challenge for myself. Your list of goals really hit home for me.
As someone who struggles, it really encourages me to see people putting awareness out there for agoraphobia. When I first started getting really bad I felt so extremely alone. It's people like you who share their stories and the ups and downs of working through this that make people feel less alien, less isolated in their struggles. Thank you for being comfortable enough to share your experiences. And remember to celebrate the little things! We're so freaking proud of you!!
Having my babies actually helped me overcome so much already because I want to be better for them, and I still have so far to go. It was really touching listening to you talk about it. They are such good motivators!
We are so so so proud of you! I had sever social anxiety when I was younger and seeing how far I’ve come shocks me every day. I cried watching how you overcame that and how happy it made you! You inspire me to keep going and do new things. ❤
Girly you are gifted....your dreams, feelings, premonitions, predictions.... and that can cause anxiety, uneasy feeling, over thinking. Breathe and embrace. The more you understand the more at ease you will become.
I have agoraphobia too and I’m so proud of you. Since Covid mine has gotten so much worse to the point that I barely can even leave my house. It’s so frustrating/embarrassing but you sharing this makes me feel not as alone so thank you!
Watching these videos and reading these comments while also working my way through newly acquired PTSD has given me permission to celebrate my huge achievements that seem tiny. Five months ago, I was fiercely independent and a social butterfly. Two days ago, I was dancing because I drove somewhere without pulling over in a panic. Thanks, Elyse. Thanks, others ❤️
So proud of you !!! I have good days & not so good days. Life is hard and the many challenges are a journey in itself. I’m going through it so please keep up the good work. You’re an inspiration and nice to know I’m not alone. . .
I’m so proud of you and I cannot say how important it is to prioritize your mental health over popularity/followers on social media. You’re glowing ❤️
I have epilepsy, so I very much empathize with you on this topic. Overcoming your fear is a huge accomplishment, and so is continuing to fight your fears. Failure is inevitable, that's how we learn! As awkward as social interactions can be sometimes, that's all they are. They're just interactions, not death sentences. Even though it continues to feel like the latter, you survive most of them, and have hilarious stories to tell afterwards. I honestly don't know a lot about you, Elyse, but you are incredibly funny and have a lot to offer the world. Good luck on your journey!
This is not nothing--it's a big freaking deal!!! I am so proud of you!! Because I totally understand this feeling. I've been struggling really hard with the same thing and it's so so scary. It feels like my world has gotten so small. Please keep sharing. It's really helping me.
This is by far the best video I have watched on the internet. How great that we can be so happy for a stranger we watch on RUclips! So proud of you Elyse!! ❤ love from Australia 🇦🇺