Detachment is really a good perspective when it comes to relationships. It is not about having open relationships but simply setting healthy boundaries and learning to walk-away without getting angry or frustrated because your partner couldn't respect your boundaries, as an individual that advocates for healthy and monogamous relationships. Detachment is key to keep a girl in love with your forever and chasing you, it really is powerful stuff!
Great video. This is why I practice Vipassana meditation. And your language and use of it is fantastic. I admire people who narrate in English so well when it's not their first language. I wish I could do that! Look forward to more and subbed😊
Great message here! I had to detach myself today to allow myself to be professional in an important moment today, keep up the good work! I’m your 38th subscriber!
I’m trying to find the middle ground. When I’m detached I feel like life is dry and stale. But when I’m the opposite of detached, I feel like I get anxiety to the point I can’t concentrate and I get a headache and overwhelmed. When I’m detached though I feel no anxiety. I wish I could find a balance.
When you reached the dryness and stale, that's the best opportunity to know that you are still attached, you feel that way because you are desiring something which you may denying hard. But when you are dettached you will feel neutral, clearer mind, and new understanding perception.
Want to detach from someone? Simple : " avoid to ask" How are you or how are you doing ". When we make questions like this paradoxically we are courious about others life and get involved in their lives. I don't mean that you must to be rude. Sometimes we even compare ourselves depending on their answers. Showing feelings will not help and if they really need help they will ask you and for sure you can act. Just don't get courious about others people life if you are not genuinely interested in helping them. When we do this we are " dancing around them or dancing alone.
Question: how can one detach without convincing? Example: Person 'A' experiences a trigger, then he attaches 'reasons' to justify an incorrect action (bad habit) Solution 1: he can defuse/detach (in order to remove the meaning of the reason). -> here he convinces himself that there is no meaning Solution 2: he can defuse/detach (in order to remove the meaning of the reason). -> here he doesn't convince himself but is this possible?
You could just look at your reaction from a third person. Than you would not have to attack your reason you would just look at your reasoning and reaction as you would if somebody else would do it. Although it's probably more effective approach if you also see how your reasoning is flawed, all reasons are mere interpretation. Each situation can be interpreted differently.
@@michaels-meditations Thank you. To re-phrase my question: SITUATION: Convinced = 'X' detaching = Whenever trigger, I tell myself: "I will do [bad habit] DOESN'T MEAN I choose it" Trigger + detaching = X (no, I won't do [bad habit] //aka I convinced myself) PROBLEM: Currently I'm doing this formula: Trigger + detaching = X (yes) //this means I did not convince myself so I keep thinking that something bad will happen WHILE AT THE SAME TIME it is detached Question: How exactly did I reach X = yes (where I succeeded in detaching without convincing myself)? (the answer I experienced was not 'look in the third person perspective')
@@michaels-meditations I apply my 'detaching' on my thought-emotion-body sensation. To answer your question: yes, the emotion is the same when I detach with and without convincing. I'll try to interpret it. I have a love and hate relationship with my incorrect habit because I was raised in such a way that it's okay to have this incorrect habit. Whenever a trigger happens, I convince myself (subconsciously) that this incorrect habit will happen. Now, in order to detach/defuse my incorrect thought "I will do this [bad habit]" I tell myself: "but this doesn't mean I will actually do this [bad habit]". Now, comes the important part, that last sentence could be where I get convinced (aka my thought changes from negative to positive). Since of course this is not the correct way of detaching, what I want is to detach in the same way but without convincing (so without changing my perspective) where the incorrect thought is kept in my mind without seeing the 'link/connection/meaning' with the incorrect thought. Question: how can I reach this exactly? What should I do to be able to detach without convincing myself?
@@AgarioSplitrunner well the thought you have stems from the trigger, I don't see how you can just forget the connection. Why don't you work on inquiry into why the though springs up and what other thoughts would be more beneficial? Why hold on to thoughts that are not serving you?
Really confusing video. You say at the beginning that detachment does not mean the absence of emotions, but then you go on to explain how it means exactly that.
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Detachment is really a good perspective when it comes to relationships. It is not about having open relationships but simply setting healthy boundaries and learning to walk-away without getting angry or frustrated because your partner couldn't respect your boundaries, as an individual that advocates for healthy and monogamous relationships. Detachment is key to keep a girl in love with your forever and chasing you, it really is powerful stuff!
Great video. This is why I practice Vipassana meditation. And your language and use of it is fantastic. I admire people who narrate in English so well when it's not their first language. I wish I could do that! Look forward to more and subbed😊
FloVVolution TV Thanks! I like Vipassana too, currently doing mindfulness meditation. Yhea it's a constant struggle to speak better.
Great message here! I had to detach myself today to allow myself to be professional in an important moment today, keep up the good work! I’m your 38th subscriber!
Think Share Thanks for the positive feedback!
I’m trying to find the middle ground. When I’m detached I feel like life is dry and stale. But when I’m the opposite of detached, I feel like I get anxiety to the point I can’t concentrate and I get a headache and overwhelmed. When I’m detached though I feel no anxiety. I wish I could find a balance.
Me too. I feel detached about everything in my life, almost dissasociating
You are finding balance?
When you reached the dryness and stale, that's the best opportunity to know that you are still attached, you feel that way because you are desiring something which you may denying hard. But when you are dettached you will feel neutral, clearer mind, and new understanding perception.
We need to balance our emotions
Beautifully spoken
Thanks a lot man!
This stoic concept has helped me a ton
I feel bad. I don't care about detaching. Am I cold? I still want to love but no guarantees
Where did you get this information from? Any specific book maybe that I could get to read?
I got from a Dutch book, "Stoïcijns levenskunst, evenveel geluk als wijsheid" but I recomend the classic: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
@@michaels-meditations Thank you! Ill get both books! (Im dutch too)
@@jonach60 Niccee! Thanks voor t kijken :)
Wow very informative. Thanks 😊
Emotion leads you to horrible actions, logic is first emotion contradicts logic.
Want to detach from someone? Simple : " avoid to ask" How are you or how are you doing ". When we make questions like this paradoxically we are courious about others life and get involved in their lives. I don't mean that you must to be rude. Sometimes we even compare ourselves depending on their answers. Showing feelings will not help and if they really need help they will ask you and for sure you can act. Just don't get courious about others people life if you are not genuinely interested in helping them. When we do this we are " dancing around them or dancing alone.
Question: how can one detach without convincing?
Example:
Person 'A' experiences a trigger, then he attaches 'reasons' to justify an incorrect action (bad habit)
Solution 1: he can defuse/detach (in order to remove the meaning of the reason). -> here he convinces himself that there is no meaning
Solution 2: he can defuse/detach (in order to remove the meaning of the reason). -> here he doesn't convince himself but is this possible?
You could just look at your reaction from a third person. Than you would not have to attack your reason you would just look at your reasoning and reaction as you would if somebody else would do it.
Although it's probably more effective approach if you also see how your reasoning is flawed, all reasons are mere interpretation. Each situation can be interpreted differently.
@@michaels-meditations Thank you. To re-phrase my question:
SITUATION:
Convinced = 'X'
detaching = Whenever trigger, I tell myself: "I will do [bad habit] DOESN'T MEAN I choose it"
Trigger + detaching = X (no, I won't do [bad habit] //aka I convinced myself)
PROBLEM:
Currently I'm doing this formula:
Trigger + detaching = X (yes) //this means I did not convince myself so I keep thinking that something bad will happen WHILE AT THE SAME TIME it is detached
Question:
How exactly did I reach X = yes (where I succeeded in detaching without convincing myself)? (the answer I experienced was not 'look in the third person perspective')
@@AgarioSplitrunner do you still get the same emotional reaction?
@@michaels-meditations I apply my 'detaching' on my thought-emotion-body sensation. To answer your question: yes, the emotion is the same when I detach with and without convincing.
I'll try to interpret it. I have a love and hate relationship with my incorrect habit because I was raised in such a way that it's okay to have this incorrect habit. Whenever a trigger happens, I convince myself (subconsciously) that this incorrect habit will happen.
Now, in order to detach/defuse my incorrect thought "I will do this [bad habit]" I tell myself: "but this doesn't mean I will actually do this [bad habit]". Now, comes the important part, that last sentence could be where I get convinced (aka my thought changes from negative to positive). Since of course this is not the correct way of detaching, what I want is to detach in the same way but without convincing (so without changing my perspective) where the incorrect thought is kept in my mind without seeing the 'link/connection/meaning' with the incorrect thought. Question: how can I reach this exactly? What should I do to be able to detach without convincing myself?
@@AgarioSplitrunner well the thought you have stems from the trigger, I don't see how you can just forget the connection. Why don't you work on inquiry into why the though springs up and what other thoughts would be more beneficial? Why hold on to thoughts that are not serving you?
I don't think I would chase the guy if I didn't care
Decent anology regarding not needing alcohol to flirt
Good content with irritatative sound
Really confusing video. You say at the beginning that detachment does not mean the absence of emotions, but then you go on to explain how it means exactly that.
South Africans are always strange but smart
@Mantry Ray what an idiotic comment don’t group us together this video had nothing to do with Africa too
you talk wrong
Kailor Cobb yhea I'm working on it. Thanks for the honest feedback.
@@michaels-meditations ignore him he's a dickhead, I like you're videos though!
@Kailor Cobb Coming from someone who doesn’t write in complete sentences.
@@gioplease6848 and no punctuation