9. You’re afraid of them. You don’t feel like you really have a friend coming over. You more or less feel like a parent is coming to scold you. They always have something to say about you in a negative context regarding things from the past or your habits. You fear of what they may do if the friendship goes sour or falls through. Because you know what they are capable of. You dread when they are coming over, because you’re always afraid you did something wrong, or didnt do exactly what they said.
@@UrBoo_ my friend is really nice but I shifted school since then she got a new friend and she hanouts either her every weekend and I don't have any new friend in this school and that makes me insecure ....I don't know what to do
I had to break off a friendship for what you described just here. Always scolding you, a lack of understanding and just being dismissive altogether whilst acting like they are just giving you advice. You then act defensive and distant!
And that’s when paranoia kicks in. Ever had a friend just random block you on everything and when you try to reach out to figure out what’s wrong the only disclosure they give you is “you’re toxic” or “your friend group”.
Then you may be codependent, and that is not healthy for you. You have to learn how to love and embrace who you are. Then you will not have a strong desire to seek out, or hold on to other people that don't bring value to your life.
@@ladennayoung2939 Physical codependency is different than mental codependency. I agree with you partially, but a lot of people are dependent on thier abusers to survive.
It's like push and pull. One day they'll send you emotional messages about how much they appreciate you, and then the next day they'll bring you down with negativity, not even listening to what you say.
@@aquasanta4352 If he brings you down, please consider distancing yourself from him. You can find friends who are much kinder people. I know it's hard to let go of friendship, but it's ultimately for the best. If someone is mean to you, it's alright to stop giving them love and kindness to them.
It’s sad because I want her to change but I don’t want to hurt her or fight… I’m tired of it and want to stop our friendship but i love her…it’s complicated
That's exactly how I feel. Everytime I feel like it's finally time to let her go, I remember all the good times and when we have fun a little now. It makes me not want to lose it
I know it's hard but if it's still like this than you gotta stop I know at first it will be hard but soon you will be relieved and feel why didn't you do it before really
That was me two years ago. But I realised I’m still young and there are tons of other people who are good to you compared to that one person. Letting go feels hurt for the first few days because you cling onto memories and you try to think back on convos or actions that you might’ve done wrong. In a way you kind of gaslight yourself. But slowly, you’ll realise how glad you feel when you see how much better other people treated you instead. You feel genuinely happy even if it’s a small talk or a silly stupid joke. At least, now you don’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells around friends anymore and you never have negative thoughts regarding friends. You’ll feel like a burden is slowly taken off since you don’t have to think or associate with that person anymore. Me myself I made it clear to them I don’t want anything to do with them anymore. Of course they got mad at me and cursed me and listed everything wrong I did cus everything is supposed to be about…them. It hurts but as time goes by, I feel actually better knowing in the future, I don’t owe them anything.
Same man it just take time to realise when you become toxic and i am sure every people that start to become toxic can see there mistakes and improve themselves
1. They abuse your friendship 2. They start competing with you 3. They betray your trust 4. They intentionally hurt you 5. They bring out the worst in you 6. They make you feel insecure 7. You make excuses for them 8. You don't like being around them anymore
Yeah. I’m an extrovert so I really need to talk to people but it’s so hard and I only have 1 or 2 friends. I struggle way too much with talking that I’m scared of everyone so I’m very clingy to my only friends, but they don’t have time for me. They kinda just hang out with other people now
I’m super introverted but is scared to be alone too for some reason. Lately my best friend has been being mean to me but I don’t know why, I have asked her if I did something wrong but she doesn’t want to tell me. I’m just so scared things will fall apart. She’s been telling me to die while jokingly saying it’s a prank but I don’t believe her. I’ve told her many times pranks like those weren’t funny but she doesn’t care. This really makes me question if she actually considers me a friend or not
To all this having this toxic bestie hanging around, here's my story and how I dealt with it: So we were super besties since 2 years now, and as it was planned by our families (coincidentally at the same time), we both had to move to different countries. The countries time difference is 9 hours, so yea we both moved pretty far away... As we were done packing up and stuff, we both realised our parents had their own feuds... Also keep in mind we're both teens, her being a tween. So we expected that we were prolly not gonna last long... And we did stop talking for a while, but then she contacted me with her new number thru her sister's phone and texted me, and that was the best moment ever!!! Since then, she was obviously exited about her new house as it was better than the older one, and then till a month we were really well in touch. After a month, she started seeming sad more often than ever and always texted me, i would always text back as soon as possible even if it were 3 am for me, I'd support her no matter what, until it was me who became upset... I had my downs starting in my life and I really needed her, but she'd always say that she needed to study now, and I knew I couldn't ask her to stop studying, so I said it was totally ok, but after a few mins I saw her sharing funny tiktok shorts in a friend group we were both in, and that, the fact she took procastinating over helping me at my worst really hit me hard. After this same story repeated itself around 5 times, I stopped taking her support and handled myself. Then I slowly got better, everything went back to normal and I started texting her again, but this time she never replied, I was always waiting. She always left me on seen, and still was sharing tiktoks in that group. A month went this way, with a week at the end without me texting her even once... Yea things were pretty bad between us now, and then one day she texted me asking why I didn't text her since so many days, after a few hours when I finally saw that message, I asked her- "you really think I would text u by the way u were?" Yup. She knew she messed up bad, I could see it by the replies she sent me, she was constantly apologising and told me how she realised she was being so selfish... Now she never leaves me on seen or puts anything over me when I text her, and the best part we talk like the super close besties again!!! Things might be messed up between u and them, but Sometimes it takes patience and giving them some time to show them that they're messing up, and teaching them a mild lesson, not something super harsh, just leave them alone for sometime till they ask u what is wrong. That'll make them make sure they play their part just the way u deserve it... It does hurt to be hurting them to show them that u need them and they're messing up for once, but sometimes it's the only way... Do make sure that u catch up with them really well after they realise it. Peace out✌️
@@TheVIYA I feel your friend wasn't that toxic but there are friends who are so toxic, like I had one friend who was really close to me it was almost 12 years of friendship suddenly she changed I used to give so much priority to her no matter how busy I was I used to be there to help her when she needed but she used to never do so in return and I didn't even expect anything in return but then she messed it up completely when she started to put me down in front of others and I used to tell her to stop doing it because I don't feel good it's embarrassing and she used to Apologize to me and used to repeat it again so I started staying away from her and later one day I felt I should text her she texted me back saying that I'm a not that sought of fun anymore and she would like me to stay away from her. This tore me apart that sentence made me feel so hurt that I kept on thinking how could she be so bad I never got close to anyone again. Moral: stop giving priority to others and give yourself priority because people will mess up one day.
My ex best friend abused of me and my generosity so badly. I’m not perfect either, but dammit when someone always puts the blame on you and never apologizes… it drives anyone insane. Lots of this crazy stuff happened last year
I relate to this on a personal level. One of my friends had serious anger issues and always shifts the blame to me when I haven’t done anything and gets frustrated at me for the smallest things. I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through and I hope you have found better friends now
I've actually been drifting away from my entire friend group because they started talking down on others and tried to talk down on me about my choices, I used to think so highly of them and didn't expect them to act that way at all. I'm so glad my eyes were opened up before they could actually influence me into doing the same.
I wish I opened my eyes sooner… I would try to talk to them and they would almost always talk over me. However, they kept blaming me whenever I tried to open up with how I felt honestly and one of them called me sensitive. I may not have many friends anymore but I’m happy knowing that the bad people in my life are gone.
I used to have a toxic friend. And even though I am better off without her, sometimes I still feel bad over how things worked out. However, I am thriving and she is still languishing in God knows what. EDIT: I recently found out that my toxic friend was responsible for bullying a work colleague out of his job. I don't feel bad over how things worked out between us.
“It's very possible and very okay to forgive someone and still not want to spend time with them” “You can love them, forgive them, want good things for them…but still move on without them.”
Fuck forgiveness. They don't deserve it for the amount of damage they've done to not only you, but to your progress and what you're trying to accomplish. They're out to destroy, born to destroy. They're honestly good as dead.
Jhovonne McPherson You can still forgive a person but stop interacting with them because of the damage they continue to cause to your life. “I don’t hate you, but I won’t sacrifice for you anymore.” A huge part of forgiveness of others is to free the self from harboring negative thoughts and emotions. Forgiving them finally allows the self to fully move on.
@@AegisAuras A person? Or a sociopath which I've been friends with for years. Those types of individuals are out to fuck your progress up, or even your life. I speak of experience.
@@rural_girl555 same and my bestfriend became really toxic and only talks about her even tho she knows how much I need somone now and the problem is I don't have any other friends so I can't cut her off yk
My bestie literally back bitched about me with my other friends in a group and she has been hurting me recently but the thing is I want to write a wholeass passage on what shes done wrong but she never agrees and always turns it on me...I dont want to be with her anymore either. Our friendship wont last long. My other bestie is loyal to me and I love that one...but this one I dont like being around her anymore.
My "best firend" unfriended me saying that I was a toxic friend because I didn't *always* check on him... Well, while I was asking him how he felt, how did his exams go or just how he felt and if he wanted to hang out, he was too busy leaving me on read to answer me. But apparently caring for him made me a toxic friend according to his girlfriend :)
Most common signs to look out for in a toxic friendship.👍 There's a whole lot of drama Everything is about them. They constantly put you down. They compete with you. They secretly copy you. They cross your boundaries. Toxic friends are obsessively needy. They're jealous of other friends
Oh god i used to be in a friend ship like that, every time I hung out with anyone else, she get rlly upset and guilt trip me. I should have noticed the red flags when her only personality was “Sassy”
I left my best friend after 10 years of friendship and I feel much better it’s hard at first but now I found new people and they are much better so y’all don’t be scared to leave them !!
Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. -Deborah Reber
*1. They abuse your friendship* _~__0:36_ *2. They start competing with you* _~__0:58_ *3. They betray your trust* _~__1:23_ *4. They intentionally hurt you* _~__1:45_ *5. They bring out the worst in you* _~__2:10_ *6. They make you feel insecure* _~__2:32_ *7. You make excuses for them* _~__2:57_ *8. You don't like being around them anymore* _~__3:20_
•That friend triggers my emotions... •That friend whom I always ask for something but makes me feel guilty from my mistake •That friend who always point out my mistake or others mistake so I would judge them too •That friend whom I feel like trying to take a revenge whenever I do something accidentally •That friend that I don't want to talk to but still talk to them for some reason I want our friendship to be stronger than I've had before. But I think it's getting toxic. Still, I hope we won't end up worse.
To anyone experiencing a toxic friendship/relationship- It feels so hard to take the bold step of telling this person how u feel. u can dread this so much but i promise u it feels like a huge weight off your shoulders when u finally say it. it can end up ending the toxic friendship or solving it. either way it is for the best! remember- your mental health is much more important than it seems- you are worth it! u are never alone in this situation and there is people out there who love u unconditionally. u know u are in ur place when u can just be urself with ur people. the most important thing is to trust yourself. whoever is reading this ilysm, we will get through this. u can do it, i believe in u. *the best view comes after the hardest climb* *if you want to see the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain* *dont cry because its over, smile because it happened* *dont let anyone darken your sparkle*
The fact that my best friend is so nice and caring for everyone makes me want to keep our friendship...but I do feel insecure around her and sometimes she talks about my insecurities in public...I just don't want to blame her but I feel like she does not trust me anymore You all understand me!?? thanks for reading you people..😶
@@ashitabaranwal9531 yeah I have a “friend” named Layla and she literally points out the smallest things I do and makes me feel insecure 🥲 (also- I hope your doing well now
It’s sad to say that all my friends have become toxic. Unfortunately when that happens you start having suicidal thoughts and even stop liking the things you loved! It’s not right for someone to feel so hurt to the point that they don’t care about themselves anymore.
My friend always wants me to play a game with him, and I have to make excuses every time. Why am I so afraid to say no? I wasn’t like this when I was a toddler.
@@lilY-f1t Same. I used to have trouble saying no but now whenever I say no, I feel so proud of myself. I hope you can do that too someday. I wish you courage and strength💜
Same here my friend haven't talked to me in 2 days now.He was absolutely fine sunday but he did a 180 the next without warning.He hasn't said word and Im getting so paranoid about it
To all this having this toxic bestie hanging around, here's my story and how I dealt with it: So we were super besties since 2 years now, and as it was planned by our families (coincidentally at the same time), we both had to move to different countries. The countries time difference is 9 hours, so yea we both moved pretty far away... As we were done packing up and stuff, we both realised our parents had their own feuds... Also keep in mind we're both teens, her being a tween. So we expected that we were prolly not gonna last long... And we did stop talking for a while, but then she contacted me with her new number thru her sister's phone and texted me, and that was the best moment ever!!! Since then, she was obviously exited about her new house as it was better than the older one, and then till a month we were really well in touch. After a month, she started seeming sad more often than ever and always texted me, i would always text back as soon as possible even if it were 3 am for me, I'd support her no matter what, until it was me who became upset... I had my downs starting in my life and I really needed her, but she'd always say that she needed to study now, and I knew I couldn't ask her to stop studying, so I said it was totally ok, but after a few mins I saw her sharing funny tiktok shorts in a friend group we were both in, and that, the fact she took procastinating over helping me at my worst really hit me hard. After this same story repeated itself around 5 times, I stopped taking her support and handled myself. Then I slowly got better, everything went back to normal and I started texting her again, but this time she never replied, I was always waiting. She always left me on seen, and still was sharing tiktoks in that group. A month went this way, with a week at the end without me texting her even once... Yea things were pretty bad between us now, and then one day she texted me asking why I didn't text her since so many days, after a few hours when I finally saw that message, I asked her- "you really think I would text u by the way u were?" Yup. She knew she messed up bad, I could see it by the replies she sent me, she was constantly apologising and told me how she realised she was being so selfish... Now she never leaves me on seen or puts anything over me when I text her, and the best part we talk like the super close besties again!!! Things might be messed up between u and them, but Sometimes it takes patience and giving them some time to show them that they're messing up, and teaching them a mild lesson, not something super harsh, just leave them alone for sometime till they ask u what is wrong. That'll make them make sure they play their part just the way u deserve it... It does hurt to be hurting them to show them that u need them and they're messing up for once, but sometimes it's the only way... Do make sure that u catch up with them really well after they realise it. Peace out✌️
Gaslighting...You confront them about an issue, they deny, lie, dismiss without any accountability, portraying you as delusional, overreacting and belittling your feelings
I told my "best friend" about my self harm scars, my homicidal and suicidal intrusive thoughts and my eating disorder, and she laughed about it, and talked about in front of people. She also made fun of my height and weight, which makes me very insecure. She also teased me for being trans, yet the girl who she said is bad for me makes me feel better about myself, and I don't know what to do.
I am reading this 3 months later, it makes me sad....nobody has they right to make jokes about your health problems, what you need is love and support. I hope you can heal your health problems and you find good friends in the way..and yes avoid her...it is difficult, but the best for your mind and soul
Mine always made fun of me bc i have brown hair and brown eyes and that looks so "eXoTiC", she also makes fun abt my social anxiety and says that I'm just overreacting, she also made fun of my nose( in fact most of the stuff that I'm insecure abt is bc of her ) & laughs abt embarrassing stuff that happened like 5 years ago and tell them everybody even though she knows I'm not comfortable with it. Also she makes everything a competition for example not long ago I said that I couldn't sleep almost the whole night & she was like I couldn't sleep like the whole week, so stop dramatize everything - I swear I'm so tired of this shit
How ik my friend is toxic. ○ She judges the way i: - Drink - Eat - Walk - She constantly calls me hideous ○ Stabs me in the back and turns my other friends against me.
i really understand where you’re coming from and how much it hurts and i don’t wanna belittle that but my best friend and i make fun of each other about everything for fun, not sure why but we both are fine with it so maybe they think it’s something like that? i could totally be wrong and i understand if you don’t want to be in that situation even if it is supposed to be for fun, but here’s another perspective ig
This video is a great help in reminding me that while I loved my best friend as a friend and a partner, he was a toxic relationship that I needed to get away from. This video showed he had all the characteristics, and I'm proud of the fact that I was able to finally escape after 8 years. Thank you for the upload, and the supportive vibe you folks carry with all of your content.
A friend got angry at me for being "too negative" when I was worried about them I'll just take what little mental stability and energy I have left elsewhere
I have one friend that hits pretty much all of these. They used to be my best friend and I’m still their best friend. They’ve been going downhill a lot lately though and trying drag me with them, but I keep managing to make excuses to get away from the situation. But I don’t know how to actually fix it without hurting someone involved
My bestie gave me an earful in front of all her family members, her stylist, and neighbors on different occasions for even the tiniest of mistakes. I pointed it out how doing this publicly hurt me, yet she believes she was right in doing so. Apparently she feels "success hugs you in private while failure slaps you in public." I just wanted her to acknowledge that yes, this might have hurt me, but even today she feels her so-called reasons justified her actions. I felt all my love and respect for her go away in those few conversations. Maybe she'll realize someday.
I haven’t seen my best friend for a few months now, we’ve been growing apart for the past year. She only talked about herself and her boy problems and she cheats on every boyfriend she has. We’re 20 now and her new best friend is sleeping with a married man... She always picked fights with me and got upset with me when I was happier than her. Whenever we are together, I feel so uncomfortable. I’m glad we’ve grown apart but I miss her parents.
I understand you, a girl who was a best friend and she used to say we were like sisters started to have negative behaivors and even used me to tell lies to her family. I am avoiding her a lot now. I don't miss her, but I miss her mom and niece.
Yeah ....really depressing .Actually it becomes worst when you have only one best friend and that too u find toxic...! Edit: That friend is still my best friend and no more toxic. Have patience people, understand the reason behind their behaviour ...take time and reflect positively even if you end that friendship.
She’s been making jokes about me that really hurt me. She targeted my insecurities, calling me a cow and talked behind my back. But she’s my girlfriend’s best friend too. When she says things about my, my girlfriend gets mad. The next time she says something, *it will end.*
Actually i have had a toxic best friend two years ago .when i realized that she is intoxicating me i stopped talking to her..but still i feel bad that i lost her.
I feel like sometimes my friends be toxic. I have this fear of just being judged by people and I’m that type of person when something embarrassing or bad happens to me I try to avoid it or not let it happen again. My friends were like “You need to play kickball.” knowing I was afraid of sports. So I was like “Ok I’m gonna try it.” I tried it and then fell down in front of everyone. So I stopped trying and then when I didn’t want to play they would ignore me or go talk to someone else to make me feel bad.
Me and my friend have been friends for 13 years, but over the last few months it’s just been exhausting to be with them. They’re super rude to me all the time and then they’re suddenly in a good mood and wonder why I don’t really want to hang out. They don’t give me time for myself (I’ve been struggling with mental health) and don’t respect it when I just need space.
The only reason my friend puts me down is because I’m an introvert and I’m too afraid to tell them because we both like hanging out and being with each other
This helped me a lot to rethink this friendship, this friend of mine literally yelled at me and gave me the silent treatment afterwards because I was having a depressive episode and not "listening to what he's saying", he says I give in to social pressures and I have negative energy. Like bro OBVIOUS I'm going to be negative, I have depression damn
1- They abuse your friendship 2- They start competing with you 3- They betray your trust 4- They internationally hurt you 5- They bring out the worst in you 6- They make you feel insecure 7- You make excuses for them 8- You don’t like being around them anymore
After watching this, I have to admit that I was that one toxic friend. I have had my home/childhood/family life issues affect me big time all the way into early adulthood. Made a small, yet tight group of friends early on and thought we were inseperable. Years later, I realized the distance they were putting between me and them. As well as the little things, like hardly getting invites to go out to lunch together, or having a night on the town.. without me (you notice these things when you feel missing from pics posted on social media, etc). Never said anything about it, and continied to let time march on. Finally got fed up with thinking it over and over. Thought I was in the right to write em all an open letter letting them know how I felt, and that I wouldn't be returning to the "circle" anytime soon, if at all. Come to find out through a mutual friend that they held back and avoided me because they couldn't tolerate my jokes, attitude, overall behavior, etc. Made me absolutely livid to hear that .. until I realized I was the toxic one. It took heartache and loss for me to be humble enough to step back and admit I needed a change of overall mental well being. Abuse of all sorts was prevalent under our roof during my childhood, and its impact stuck with me and showed itself. They took the shock of dealing with the worst parts of me. We all need to be able to take that step and acknowledge when someone close to us is toxic, and do whatever is necessary to protect ourselves. But in certain cases (like mine), ones self may be the root of that toxicity. This video has helped me realize and accept it. If anyone is in the same boat, please realize we're all human. And we can surely change. People come and go, some stay longer than expected. But you have to live with yourself and who you are for a very long time. Might as well make that person a good one, and have them be as far away from being toxic as possible. Eventually you'll hit that sweet spot and the right people will come to stay, because you truly are you. Sorry for this long, nonsensical rambling. Hopefully someone can take something useful from this. Be well, everyone..
Thank you so much for sharing and taking accountability of your actions. Wish more people were like you. In my case, this girl I was best friends with never owns up to her actions at all and just gaslighted me and denied everything and lied to everyone. She always makes herself look innocent and turns others against me making me look like the problem. I always end up alone with no support. I am very resentful towards all of those "friends" and never want anything to do with them. Also no longer wish them well (used to always wish them happiness), but not anymore. Heck I'm so done I only wish myself all the happiness. And for them - may karma get their butts and make them see and experience 10x the hurt and pain I suffered.
I am over my very toxic best friend and trust me....it was hard doing that but when u r over her/him, it feels like you have got your life back and it's loads better...I hope you all are keeping well 💛
That feeling will pass & the longer you allow that toxic person to stay in your life the more difficult it becomes to make your exit. I once felt like that after a 16 year friendship with my ex best friend. Now it's been 6 years, my life elevated, negativity gone, that constant energy drain nonexistent. That doesn't mean I don't still think about her because I do & I just remember the good times & keep it moving with my life. It's hard but you can do it.
I agree with brittany and even i went through that stuff with an old friend of mine who was once my real friend But once we hit the puberty she became a toxic friend, i didn't spoke to her in like 5 years now anymore and ended the friendship 2 years ago
@@leontineketting97 Unfortunately we have to do that sometimes. It is good that you were able to recognize her toxicity & remove yourself. I'm not going to lie, it hurt me a lot when my ex best friend's own mother said " Brittany she isn't the kind of friend to you that you are to her. You are genuine...she's not she talks about your behind your back & envies you among other things." I was in denial until I started to see it for myself & realized her mom was right. Had to walk away . Now that I reflect on it I'm glad I did.
@@Psych2go I don't know, maybe i just can't move on someone like her, she know everything about me and we're like sisters, but she's also too toxic for me to communicate with..
I left my toxic friend just recently telling them how uncomfortable I felt. I was expecting an apology but seems like their blocking me on every single social media that they find me on and not saying anything. Looks like they won’t admit what they’ve done and been real quiet to me since. But now I only have one true friend with me now and that’s ok. It doesn’t matter how many friends you’ve got :) If you’re planning on leaving your toxic friend (you should), don’t feel anxious about how they would feel because you’re concentrating on keeping YOURSELF happy this time. Stop putting others first and focus on yourself. Tell close ones that would understand when you’re ready and TAKE YOUR TIME. Trust me, you won’t feel as bad as you think after you eventually leave your toxic “friends”. I may not know you but I know that you have the confidence to do what makes you happy and to do what you desire. We all may have different experiences with our toxic friendships but you’re not the only one struggling. You’re amazing and show them how much you’ve grown and how happier you are without them. I know you can do this my sweet potatohs. You shall recieve thy forehead kiss. ( ˘ ³˘)♥
It describes a lot about mom's friendship. How they first appear to be kind, warming, and generous, but as she dig deeper in her friendship. It uncovers an evil person. Nothing like the person she knew from first sight.
Mine does the same, but she makes up eXcUses- for example she says yEaH i iGnOrEd u bC u dIdNt aNsWeREd my tExTES yEsTerDay- LIKE WTF Rn she ignores me bc i didnt wanted her to give my pinterest Account bc ik she would make fun of me- LIKE WTFFF i'm so tired of this shit, but i cant let her go bc if I would I wouldnt have any friends at all lol
Yea my best friend wanted to increase their bond with her friend group but we ended up not talking to each other in school and all I do is play games with her every weekend(we rarely play tho). I’m an introvert so she was my closest friend
My old best friend and I had a toxic friendship and we're still in touch with one another. However, I grew a significant distance and made boundaries of where I meet her now even though I have never actually verbally communicated it. It's clear on my side of the friendship that I've grown distant from where we used to be. I do notice that sometimes she wants to go back to the way things were. But she caused me too much pain for me to go back,. We've known each other for so long; it was and still hard to let go completely. Everyone has a lot of inner work to do with themselves and everyone's on their own journey. I read somewhere that it is okay to love somebody from a distance, but don't give them access to you.
My bestie is always saying things like : "ur avatar on roblox is ugly , ur pursuing me, I'm not gonna pay for what u gave me" and she mostly ignores me:(
I had those signs during the past 6 months and I was happy to have left a toxic best friend during the lockdown after 8 years being in the same high school (long story). I have a new best friend now so I shall protect both of us from the red flags.
@@bpenguin101 He was incredibly manipulative and unsupportive while I wanted to start being independent, whereas taking all the credit when we were business partners; he also agitates me for a purpose which was the last straw of the friendship
Eitan Cheah Ohh I see. I must’ve been really hard for you. I hope you’re doing well now and being happy with better friends. thank you so much for the reply.
All I can think of is Todd in Community: “What the hell is wrong with you?! Your love is weird! And TOXIC! And it destroys everything it touches!” And that was the line that made me realize how my best friend and I are toxic. I miss what we used to be.
My friends home is in unrest,, constant arguing that goes nowhere is just pushing me away. I feel very sad about leaving their autistic son behind. He's such a beautiful soul and highly intelligent, but left to bring himself up. They said, he had never learned to spell his name, and how stressed they are. I have him typing song titles into the computer, in six months, and just by convincing his mother to let him play with the thing. Sitting in front of the Disney channel, as he was and still is subject to, is doing harm. I have never seen them do anything with him.
It's just now that I realized that I had a toxic friendship for more than 23 years. I was sad when I ended it 3 years ago, but now I'm glad for the same reason. Thank you 😊❤
There’s a particular personality I see here and there that matches most of these traits, give or take. The most disturbing trait to me is when their personality takes a noticeable turn when others are around and they begin making jokes at my expense or otherwise downplaying or insult me in ways they wouldn’t if we were just hanging out alone. I have a difficult time reasoning why they do this because it’s so contrary to my nature that I can’t learn much of it through introspection. I assume they do this because they value improving their personal social status above my emotional well-being. Perhaps they believe because I’m easygoing I’ll forgive them endlessly so they won’t encounter any consequences for their abuse. I currently have no more people in my life like this but It’s still a very strange personality phenomenon to me. I don’t fully understand it.
Here’s my experience right now if you’re in for a story: I’ve been friends with this girl since 8th grade so almost 5 years now. We were so close, had the same music taste, loved the same Korean foods, and loved kpop, anime, and always hung out. I like stayed at her house for a week once and it was the funnest time of our lives. Corona hit and we were close as ever. We called almost everyday and during every class, spent hours together playing video games and texted all day. Literally even in the shower we were just so comfortable with each other. This friend use to always tell me that I was her only friend for life and that she is really bad at making new friends and would joke that we should dorm together in college. I would agree! And laugh along. But I never thought she was that much of an introvert I knew she was good with other people despite having a tendency to get overwhelmed by others faster. Then recently things got weird. This may have been my fault but I dislike the group of friends that she gravitates to, and I’d say those people pretty much just gossip together about people I don’t really know. They were cliquey and not very welcoming so I didn’t sit with them or with my friend who wanted to. Instead I sat with my usuals friends who my close friend also knew, and she use to sit with us too! But then she said she felt more comfortable sitting with the other more cliquey people and left. I didn’t mind honestly, I knew some of them were genuinely sweet. Not until she came to sit with us… I was happy at first but I also felt like I had to entertain her to keep her with me. It was also essentially impossible to hang out with her and hard to bring up hanging out with her. She would laugh and plan things with other people (not that they ever happened) but still it hurt to see her plan things with other but not with me… even though I put in an effort to. I also feel like there’s a loss of respect these days. Just today I tried to show her a song I really liked. She just responds I don’t like it before we even listened to it. I mean I get her opinion but I was a little bit hurt by the roughness. Moments after she showed me her favorite current song which I felt obliged to also like mostly out of fear. I’m just always on eggshells around her now…. She also forgot a plan we had today. She just apologized over text and it was ok for me because I was with someone else thankfully who stayed with me instead. But I was still hurt. The same day she told me she only truly liked friend J and friend N, of course she probably was suggesting me too since I’m right in front of her I don’t know it bothered me that she had to emphasize she was close and that she liked these people . She also says she dislikes majority of the cliquey group now which I’m glad she realized. Often our conversations are about other people. Especially her texts she loves showing me her texts with other people. I did the same but recently I quit realizing it almost feels competitive. I just laugh and nod eith her stories, sometimes draining. She also has put me in awkward situations where I choose her or disappoint her. Simple moments where we are talking in a group and she wants to show me her animation all of a sudden, I’m busy talking to someone and she says to look I want to finsih my sentence but she gets sullen and when I say ok let me look now she’s like I tried to show you already. She also strongly dislikes person S (because she says person S is invasive and doesn’t know what personal space is) which puts me in more awkward situations cause I rly like both of them. So it’s hard to be nice and inclusive of both of them especially when we have class together. I just wish she voiced her opinion to person S and ask for personal space in a nice way. Rather than having me step in to make sure everything’s ok. Last thing, I’ve been working rly hard on an application since like the summer. And results come out soon! I’ve been nervous and talking about it with my friends, even my non close friends know the date and the program I applied for. Yet I mentioned it and she had no clue what it was. I was confused and I don’t think she really cared because I didn’t bother to elaborate cause she didn’t want to kno more. But friends that were less close would encourage me and ask me when my results came out. Maybe it’s on me… probably did a bad job of making her feel that she was my priority as I’m kind of a social butterfly. And now that I clearly feel I am not her priority anymore it hurts. A lot. But I won’t say or do anything I’m still there for her but it just isn’t the same as before.
you did nothing wrong. i know what it feels like and i'm going to say it right now: to toxic people friends are like stuffed animals. let me explain. they get a new stuffed animal (which in this case, is you, just like i was a few times) and they adore it. they don't like sharing it and they like to keep it to themselves. but, as time passes, they are starting to get bored of the toy, and start playing with it less every day, until they outgrow them and throw them away. they realise we aren't of any use for them and they leave us. it is hard now, but eventually it will get better. you will make new friends, who will always be on your side, so, please, don't be discouraged. P.S. i would be glad to hear what the results are. if you want to tell me, of course. i wish you good luck
Old isn’t gold. Idk what it is about friends you’ve had for a long time, but it seems that they think they can get away with being nasty. No matter what, you don’t deserve that type of treatment. I wish nothing but the best for you, and that you make more healthy relationships that encourage you to be your best self!
The fact that she is too much introvert is a sign she doesn’t really have no one else than U...in her life and maybe you being same with others too as you are with her...hurts her...?afik she is jealous with you someway and is more clingy...nd it’s hard to change for her of being like that...she is probably over-thinker! I’m not saying it’s your fault or something but I hope u don’t consider her as toxic totally cuz she was your bestie at one time isn’t it? One solution is that u should talk about things clearly with her to avoid drama...u know 🤷♀️
I'm kind of in a similar situation. I'm kinda paranoid to type this, since I'm afraid my friend would read this but I get you. It just.... Doesn't feel right with my friend anymore. Especially since my mom and dad tell me she isn't good for me too. But what the heck is the real reason, is my question. I've blown off friendships a lot and all of them I've been told by an adult that those were not good relationships. With my friend, it's like I always have to listen to her and I do my best to make it seem that I am interested in what she is talking about, yet when I say something to her it seems like she doesn't care and she always closes me off and that she doesn't care. She always said that she is being mean because she is my best friend and that best friends are mean to each other, but when I am talking about something that I like I want her to not blow me off and instead listen to me even if it's not in same enthusiasm as I did with her. And recently, cause of that, every time that she said something that she likes I reply that I didn't care and I never talk to her about things that I like because I was afraid that she would belittle that. And that makes me feel guilty because, well, I don't do that. The reason I do it to her is solely because she does it to me. And I can't say that I don't like that because she might say that she was just joking and I shouldn't take it too seriously. I don't even know I'm sensitive or I'm toxic, considering I've felt like this with many friends now. It's just tiring. And I know it's petty too. Sorry for ranting but uh... Hope everything goes by well on your side. Peace from the other hemisphere of the world!
my friend is really nice but I shifted school since then she got a new friend and she hanouts either her every weekend and I don't have any new friend in this school and that makes me insecure ....I don't know what to do
I wish I had seen this sooner, but thankfully I have other kinder friends who helped me see how toxic my former best friend was. Our relationship went from having fun together and collaborating, to me being their constant cheerleader and then to just one small voice in a crowd. It didn't matter how much I tried to support them it wasn't enough because I was just one person instead of a crowd. My emotional state didn't matter, but theirs did. I was called toxic for when I had a bad day and got angry--even if I was quick to recognize my shittiness on my own an apologise that same night, but they never were toxic--not in their mind. I was called clingy because I still enjoyed talking with them and doing all the things we used to together. I couldn't be enough for them. And they couldn't "cope" with being asked to talk nicer to me. I had to respect their boundaries and their limits but god forbid I ask to not be treated like crap. It hurt so much being their friend, and it hurt worse to let them go. But I didn't deserve to be treated like that. A friendship isn't transactional. It isn't about what you can give. It's about enjoying your time with the other person and genuinely being happy around them. Even though it hurts so much I have other friends who understand me so much better. They can politely tell me when they need space without snapping at me. They don't verbally attack me over petty things. They don't even let me talk down to myself. They appreciate who I am, what I offer as a friend, and give me love and respect. We can be ourselves with each other and trust each other openly. It hurts to lose a friend of so long who I held on to so dearly and loved so much. But real friends won't make you cry alone at night, wondering why things went this way, or how you can go back to the good old days. Good friends make every day a good day.
Honestly the way ur best friend was treating you is the exact same way mine is treating me but the difference is I don't have any other friends she is my only freind and if I lose her I won't have anyone left. I don't have the guts to leave her
I walked out of a 40 year old friendship. It became so toxic, my hair started falling out. She flirted with my husband and then one night her mask came off after raging about something stupid. I hated who I was when I was with her. I broke it off, blocked her completely and the peace that followed showed me it was the right decision. She also had no boundaries and I had to walk on eggshells not to trigger her. I looked at the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and she ticks 9/9 of them. I dodged a bullet. Time to heal now.
I told my friend that i was feeling depressed and will text when i feel better and he was like sorry and then started telling me how i should watch a show she started, so we could disscus it. When she says she's feeling sad, i always do something for her - write her a story or tell her how she is an amazing person and im there for her if she needs to talk. And now i feel like they dont care about me, she doesnt have to do anything for me, but it would've meant a lot if she asked if she can help. I dont even know what to do, im crying for half an hour now. Why cant i have friends that care for me, am i not worthy of their time 😟
Ahhh i just cut off all the “friends” ive known for over 10 years and it feels great!! We all gotta move on in life and unfortunately for them these people have no place in my life anymore, i once heard this from a wise man, you cant finesse your way into a good person However you can finesse your way of access to that good person, everything you do has consequences
I had a friend who would give me and my husband a lot of expensive gifts. Games, anime figures, tickets to cons, and well the list goes on. Basically they did this so me and my husband was obligated to hang out with them every time they wanted to and held the gifts over our heads as a way of gilt tripping us. We had to put our foot down when things got out of hand and they pushed a little further on our boundaries. This happened about a year ago and I am happy to say they have gotten better and saw that what they did was wrong. We still talk just not as much as we did back then but I am happy to see them doing better and aren't slipping back into their old ways.
I have just ended a toxic friendship. She tooked away my pieceful life. It both feel good and not good to end the friendship. Good because I can start to sleep good again and do what I like with joy. But not good because I don't want to hurt her feelings. It might sounds narcissistic, but this time I need to think about myself. A friend should be someone who makes your life better. And you make your friend's life better too. I know I did the right choice. I hope she will be okay one day and can get a new friend, who is a lot more compatible with her than I was.
I remember when my ex toxic best friends called me being anorexic because I‘ve lost much weight for a healthy life (I was fat honestly, now I have a normal weight). I worked really hard for it and they tried to ruin it. mostly the narcisstic toxic friend who turned everyone against me. She is very obese and she always tried to put me down. Last time I saw her I wore a choker and she told something to me like: „I would never wear something like this.“ and I replied: „well you need a neck for that at least.“ That was the last Time I saw her. I wooooonder whyyyy 😂 I‘m happy to get rid all of them.
Thats so very true. I bet everyone has a toxic friend in their lives. I also have one that always puts me in trouble and take away all of my credit. Thankyou so much for making this video and telling to those who do not know that their friends are toxic.
This is so triggering xD My best friend that I know since I was 3 (27 now still friends) is exactly like that. Every single point in this video is just 100% how she's treating me. Problem: she's my only friend, only human that I am still in contact since my social phobia became so worse I haven't met anyone since beginning of corona. AND I think I've developed an extreme emotional dependency on her as a result of her constant manipulation. And I think she's really enjoying it. That way she doesn't have to do anything for me, never give anything, never care about me but instead can treat me like shit and still knows I won't go but probably even apologize and thinking I have done something wrong. Also getting constant reassurance of course. And she's doing it purposely. Every few days in the least. Provocing such situations in which my dependency on her becomes crystal clear so she can push her confidence. Thanks, bestie!
@@spiritofthewinds9089 I am so glad that you have professional help. As someone who left my toxic friends, I know it's not very easy to leave them. But I'm so glad that you had enough strength and courage to do so. So proud of you!! I wish you happiness. And you are welcome :)
I just got out of a toxic friendship and I feel so good. She treated me like garbage for 4 years and basically said it was my fault, lied to me constantly, made everything about her and so, SO much more
9. You’re friend makes you feel like you aren’t worthy enough to be their friend. My best friend actually does this. She makes me feel like I’m not worthy enough to be her friend. She tells me stuff like “You’re making my day worse” and I was calling with her and I told my sister to shut some music and my friend’s dad was playing music (she told me why) and she thought it was to her. Which brings us to our 10th point 10. They only talk about themselves. If your best friend just likes to moan about her problems rather than listen to yours, bud, that friend ain’t a good one.
I have 1 friend. He is my best friend. His name is niceguy048. He subed me after i kept my promise and subbed to him. Sadly I have not heard from him in 2 years now and in March his channel got suspended, but I know one day he will return and continue being my friend.
Sometimes these things just have to end. I have an experience like this and that friend and I are no longer on speaking terms but since then I have found great, supportive, loving friends. There are other, better people out there. Don't be afraid to let the toxic person go.
I have given my friend soooo much, and the most they’ve done for me is buy me a pack of cheez-it’s, steal my original content and ideas, blame me for their problems, and get me in a situation where I have to either choose them, or my other friends. She even is taking over the RUclips channel I have put SO much hard work and dedication into it. When I try to break up, she guilt trips me and fake cries. any advice?
Leave the friendship. You can't fix your friend. You don't have to be guilty for leaving the friendship because it's not your responsibility to do things for her with nothing in return. Helping someone is one thing if they at least treat you right. For the RUclips channel, just talk to her about it and ask her to leave the channel if she doesn't respect your boundaries. Connect with your other friends more
@@Polar_Bear_2007 thank you for the advice! I have a good feeling that this will carry out well, I plan to break up tomorrow at lunch, and change the passwords… I hope it won’t cause too much contention and harm to either of us. Wish me luck!
Is your best friend becoming toxic? Comment below.
Sadly yes
I'm the one who is becoming toxic
Nope :D
Yeah..
Me :'
The worst feeling is wanting to end the friendship but being afraid of hurting them. Even though they hurt you all the time.
Relatable...
very relateble
Relatable
This is how I feel exactly. I feel like I can't because she'll be upset and I'm worried about her.
Relatable….
*”Fake friends are like shadows, they follow you in the sun but leave you in the dark.”*
Underrated comment.
Thats deep bro
That's deep and true for me
True
You can also look at it as they don't leave you, but they themselves become apart of that darkness.
9. You’re afraid of them. You don’t feel like you really have a friend coming over. You more or less feel like a parent is coming to scold you. They always have something to say about you in a negative context regarding things from the past or your habits. You fear of what they may do if the friendship goes sour or falls through. Because you know what they are capable of. You dread when they are coming over, because you’re always afraid you did something wrong, or didnt do exactly what they said.
Your right
@@UrBoo_ my friend is really nice but I shifted school since then she got a new friend and she hanouts either her every weekend and I don't have any new friend in this school and that makes me insecure ....I don't know what to do
👏👏👏💯💔
I had to break off a friendship for what you described just here. Always scolding you, a lack of understanding and just being dismissive altogether whilst acting like they are just giving you advice. You then act defensive and distant!
And that’s when paranoia kicks in. Ever had a friend just random block you on everything and when you try to reach out to figure out what’s wrong the only disclosure they give you is “you’re toxic” or “your friend group”.
The worst part about friends hurting you?
You let them because you crave love.
Yep or have nowhere else to go
Yes same problem here
Then you may be codependent, and that is not healthy for you. You have to learn how to love and embrace who you are. Then you will not have a strong desire to seek out, or hold on to other people that don't bring value to your life.
@@ladennayoung2939 Physical codependency is different than mental codependency.
I agree with you partially, but a lot of people are dependent on thier abusers to survive.
Yep
It's like push and pull. One day they'll send you emotional messages about how much they appreciate you, and then the next day they'll bring you down with negativity, not even listening to what you say.
Omg this is the most relatable comment srsly. One day they'll show love, the next day they aren't even bothered how you are.
Exactly
@@aquasanta4352 If he brings you down, please consider distancing yourself from him. You can find friends who are much kinder people. I know it's hard to let go of friendship, but it's ultimately for the best. If someone is mean to you, it's alright to stop giving them love and kindness to them.
man this is the most relatable comment I've like, ever read
I went through that once. It sucked.
It’s sad because I want her to change but I don’t want to hurt her or fight… I’m tired of it and want to stop our friendship but i love her…it’s complicated
That's exactly how I feel. Everytime I feel like it's finally time to let her go, I remember all the good times and when we have fun a little now. It makes me not want to lose it
I feel you... But I ended mine already... And my parents are making me think otherwise about my decision...
I know it's hard but if it's still like this than you gotta stop I know at first it will be hard but soon you will be relieved and feel why didn't you do it before really
That was me two years ago. But I realised I’m still young and there are tons of other people who are good to you compared to that one person. Letting go feels hurt for the first few days because you cling onto memories and you try to think back on convos or actions that you might’ve done wrong. In a way you kind of gaslight yourself. But slowly, you’ll realise how glad you feel when you see how much better other people treated you instead. You feel genuinely happy even if it’s a small talk or a silly stupid joke. At least, now you don’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells around friends anymore and you never have negative thoughts regarding friends. You’ll feel like a burden is slowly taken off since you don’t have to think or associate with that person anymore. Me myself I made it clear to them I don’t want anything to do with them anymore. Of course they got mad at me and cursed me and listed everything wrong I did cus everything is supposed to be about…them. It hurts but as time goes by, I feel actually better knowing in the future, I don’t owe them anything.
I actually feel as though I was becoming the toxic one. Thank you so much for showing me what I was doing! I will be a better friend now :D
@Orbital Dick Beacon what the hell? They recognized their behaviour and decided to improve it. YOU are way too toxic for this channel.
i feel like u do too
Same man it just take time to realise when you become toxic and i am sure every people that start to become toxic can see there mistakes and improve themselves
@@alinab1049 what did he say?
@@alinab1049 what did they say?
1. They abuse your friendship
2. They start competing with you
3. They betray your trust
4. They intentionally hurt you
5. They bring out the worst in you
6. They make you feel insecure
7. You make excuses for them
8. You don't like being around them anymore
hello
Thx!
thank you! i see you writing the time stamps every time 💕
they bring out the worst in you
I saw your editing process and I'm proud-
I honestly think the worst part is being like me, extremely clingy so it’s so hard to just let go and realize that I don’t have to be anyone’s doormat
Yeah. I’m an extrovert so I really need to talk to people but it’s so hard and I only have 1 or 2 friends. I struggle way too much with talking that I’m scared of everyone so I’m very clingy to my only friends, but they don’t have time for me. They kinda just hang out with other people now
I’m super introverted but is scared to be alone too for some reason. Lately my best friend has been being mean to me but I don’t know why, I have asked her if I did something wrong but she doesn’t want to tell me. I’m just so scared things will fall apart. She’s been telling me to die while jokingly saying it’s a prank but I don’t believe her. I’ve told her many times pranks like those weren’t funny but she doesn’t care. This really makes me question if she actually considers me a friend or not
"A stranger may be you biggest fan,
A friend may be your biggest enemy"
@bobby ok
wait it's Joseph Stalin for sure
actually no dora the explorer
@@broskieclipse9927 oh ok-
Woah dora that's deep
POV: your here because you have a toxic friend who just did something horrible and u wanna learn how to let go of them
true
To all this having this toxic bestie hanging around, here's my story and how I dealt with it:
So we were super besties since 2 years now, and as it was planned by our families (coincidentally at the same time), we both had to move to different countries. The countries time difference is 9 hours, so yea we both moved pretty far away... As we were done packing up and stuff, we both realised our parents had their own feuds... Also keep in mind we're both teens, her being a tween. So we expected that we were prolly not gonna last long... And we did stop talking for a while, but then she contacted me with her new number thru her sister's phone and texted me, and that was the best moment ever!!! Since then, she was obviously exited about her new house as it was better than the older one, and then till a month we were really well in touch. After a month, she started seeming sad more often than ever and always texted me, i would always text back as soon as possible even if it were 3 am for me, I'd support her no matter what, until it was me who became upset... I had my downs starting in my life and I really needed her, but she'd always say that she needed to study now, and I knew I couldn't ask her to stop studying, so I said it was totally ok, but after a few mins I saw her sharing funny tiktok shorts in a friend group we were both in, and that, the fact she took procastinating over helping me at my worst really hit me hard. After this same story repeated itself around 5 times, I stopped taking her support and handled myself. Then I slowly got better, everything went back to normal and I started texting her again, but this time she never replied, I was always waiting. She always left me on seen, and still was sharing tiktoks in that group. A month went this way, with a week at the end without me texting her even once... Yea things were pretty bad between us now, and then one day she texted me asking why I didn't text her since so many days, after a few hours when I finally saw that message, I asked her- "you really think I would text u by the way u were?"
Yup. She knew she messed up bad, I could see it by the replies she sent me, she was constantly apologising and told me how she realised she was being so selfish... Now she never leaves me on seen or puts anything over me when I text her, and the best part we talk like the super close besties again!!!
Things might be messed up between u and them, but Sometimes it takes patience and giving them some time to show them that they're messing up, and teaching them a mild lesson, not something super harsh, just leave them alone for sometime till they ask u what is wrong. That'll make them make sure they play their part just the way u deserve it... It does hurt to be hurting them to show them that u need them and they're messing up for once, but sometimes it's the only way... Do make sure that u catch up with them really well after they realise it.
Peace out✌️
@@TheVIYA I feel your friend wasn't that toxic but there are friends who are so toxic, like I had one friend who was really close to me it was almost 12 years of friendship suddenly she changed I used to give so much priority to her no matter how busy I was I used to be there to help her when she needed but she used to never do so in return and I didn't even expect anything in return but then she messed it up completely when she started to put me down in front of others and I used to tell her to stop doing it because I don't feel good it's embarrassing and she used to Apologize to me and used to repeat it again so I started staying away from her and later one day I felt I should text her she texted me back saying that I'm a not that sought of fun anymore and she would like me to stay away from her. This tore me apart that sentence made me feel so hurt that I kept on thinking how could she be so bad I never got close to anyone again.
Moral: stop giving priority to others and give yourself priority because people will mess up one day.
yep
To be honest, I came here to see if *I'm* the toxic... and I'm like five out of ten...... I need to be a better friend...
My ex best friend abused of me and my generosity so badly. I’m not perfect either, but dammit when someone always puts the blame on you and never apologizes… it drives anyone insane. Lots of this crazy stuff happened last year
I relate to this on a personal level. One of my friends had serious anger issues and always shifts the blame to me when I haven’t done anything and gets frustrated at me for the smallest things. I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through and I hope you have found better friends now
Raise your hand if you’re ever super worried that your toxic 🙋♀️
Do you think you're toxic after knowing the signs?
Psych2Go Well yes, but it’s usually constant and then I watch a video like this and think “oof that could be me...” but it’s mainly just paranoia lol
@@Rose-ez9vf Same. Although I think that’s a good sign, since we worry so much that we’re toxic we usually try not to be.
@@Rose-ez9vf talk to your friend. try to get better. i heard a great quote once!
"good people worry if they are bad, bad people dont"
Yes and I feel bad :( I try to change.
The title alone hits way too close to home.
same..
Same, considering I had a fight with a friend 2 hours ago.
How many signs did you relate to?
@@Psych2go all of them
Same……..
I've actually been drifting away from my entire friend group because they started talking down on others and tried to talk down on me about my choices, I used to think so highly of them and didn't expect them to act that way at all. I'm so glad my eyes were opened up before they could actually influence me into doing the same.
I wish I opened my eyes sooner… I would try to talk to them and they would almost always talk over me. However, they kept blaming me whenever I tried to open up with how I felt honestly and one of them called me sensitive. I may not have many friends anymore but I’m happy knowing that the bad people in my life are gone.
well that's the problem many people have bad friendships for life they lose everything cuz of this
Me: reads title
Me again: already knows she is
Me again: clicks anyway
that's me too
I’m there 😭
tru- 🥲🥲
Samee
Ditto
I think my friend is becoming toxic but I haven't seen them for a while
Same
whay fury Good point
Are they busy with school? Work? Mental health stuff? Or family issues?
Probably they are thinking in another plan to hurt your feelings one more time
I feel the same way about a friend of mine.
I used to have a toxic friend. And even though I am better off without her, sometimes I still feel bad over how things worked out. However, I am thriving and she is still languishing in God knows what.
EDIT: I recently found out that my toxic friend was responsible for bullying a work colleague out of his job. I don't feel bad over how things worked out between us.
“It's very possible and very okay to forgive someone and still not want to spend time with them”
“You can love them, forgive them, want good things for them…but still move on without them.”
Thanks, i need that
And you Can also hate them for what they ve done or just start not to care about them, thats fine also
Fuck forgiveness. They don't deserve it for the amount of damage they've done to not only you, but to your progress and what you're trying to accomplish. They're out to destroy, born to destroy. They're honestly good as dead.
Jhovonne McPherson
You can still forgive a person but stop interacting with them because of the damage they continue to cause to your life. “I don’t hate you, but I won’t sacrifice for you anymore.”
A huge part of forgiveness of others is to free the self from harboring negative thoughts and emotions. Forgiving them finally allows the self to fully move on.
@@AegisAuras A person? Or a sociopath which I've been friends with for years. Those types of individuals are out to fuck your progress up, or even your life. I speak of experience.
What’s sad is I’ve never really had a friend who has always been loyal.
Ive never had a friend who actually wants me and cares about me enough and makes me valued
@@rural_girl555 same and my bestfriend became really toxic and only talks about her even tho she knows how much I need somone now and the problem is I don't have any other friends so I can't cut her off yk
My bestie literally back bitched about me with my other friends in a group and she has been hurting me recently but the thing is I want to write a wholeass passage on what shes done wrong but she never agrees and always turns it on me...I dont want to be with her anymore either. Our friendship wont last long. My other bestie is loyal to me and I love that one...but this one I dont like being around her anymore.
I can be your friend!
Same. I have never had a friend who actually cares about me.
She always tries to compete with me in everything.....she's always toxic with me...
My "best firend" unfriended me saying that I was a toxic friend because I didn't *always* check on him...
Well, while I was asking him how he felt, how did his exams go or just how he felt and if he wanted to hang out, he was too busy leaving me on read to answer me.
But apparently caring for him made me a toxic friend according to his girlfriend :)
Well, I guess you could say that the trash took itself out!
@@TheMushroomMaiden-ks9mu yeah, I agree with you. Though, still hurt... It'll get better I guess, thank you for your support
I had one of those
*Always try ur best to be among good friends...it’s WORTH it* 🙏
@ෆƌҼႽʈҺҼʈἱqեҼ ҠἱʈʈἱҼෆ I forgave a racist then my friend is now an asshole
Most common signs to look out for in a toxic friendship.👍
There's a whole lot of drama
Everything is about them.
They constantly put you down.
They compete with you.
They secretly copy you.
They cross your boundaries.
Toxic friends are obsessively needy.
They're jealous of other friends
oh my goodness I can't tell you how much this describes my ex-friend, my friend group ditched her after we all got too annoyed.
YES THIS IS EXACTLY MY BESTFRIEND THANK YOU SO MUCH 🙏
Yeah my best friend is toxic.
@Reddit tea no your not stupid or awful, you just admire her. That's good. She should be flattered. But if shes annoyed you should probably stop.
Oh god i used to be in a friend ship like that, every time I hung out with anyone else, she get rlly upset and guilt trip me. I should have noticed the red flags when her only personality was “Sassy”
I left my best friend after 10 years of friendship and I feel much better it’s hard at first but now I found new people and they are much better so y’all don’t be scared to leave them !!
10 years??? This is kind of hmm dramatic
Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.
-Deborah Reber
*1. They abuse your friendship*
_~__0:36_
*2. They start competing with you*
_~__0:58_
*3. They betray your trust*
_~__1:23_
*4. They intentionally hurt you*
_~__1:45_
*5. They bring out the worst in you*
_~__2:10_
*6. They make you feel insecure*
_~__2:32_
*7. You make excuses for them*
_~__2:57_
*8. You don't like being around them anymore*
_~__3:20_
Ty :D
Neither your friend is 100% toxic nor you are completely good, it's just a mixture of both.
•That friend triggers my emotions...
•That friend whom I always ask for something but makes me feel guilty from my mistake
•That friend who always point out my mistake or others mistake so I would judge them too
•That friend whom I feel like trying to take a revenge whenever I do something accidentally
•That friend that I don't want to talk to but still talk to them for some reason
I want our friendship to be stronger than I've had before. But I think it's getting toxic. Still, I hope we won't end up worse.
To anyone experiencing a toxic friendship/relationship- It feels so hard to take the bold step of telling this person how u feel. u can dread this so much but i promise u it feels like a huge weight off your shoulders when u finally say it. it can end up ending the toxic friendship or solving it. either way it is for the best! remember- your mental health is much more important than it seems- you are worth it! u are never alone in this situation and there is people out there who love u unconditionally. u know u are in ur place when u can just be urself with ur people. the most important thing is to trust yourself. whoever is reading this ilysm, we will get through this. u can do it, i believe in u.
*the best view comes after the hardest climb*
*if you want to see the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain*
*dont cry because its over, smile because it happened*
*dont let anyone darken your sparkle*
*Psych2go DEFINITELY knows my life more than i do*
Ikrrr
The fact that my best friend is so nice and caring for everyone makes me want to keep our friendship...but I do feel insecure around her and sometimes she talks about my insecurities in public...I just don't want to blame her but I feel like she does not trust me anymore
You all understand me!??
thanks for reading you people..😶
Same 😭😭
@@ventikichi7186 you relate?(ꏿ﹏ꏿ;)So this was what I was doing one year ago👁️👄👁️
I feel like if you tell her about that she might change? It could be that she doesn't know it affects you
@@cloudi3kyovo your advice is really applicable. She did change. Changed schools and the Country😂
No but i never had the courage to tell her.
@@ashitabaranwal9531 yeah I have a “friend” named Layla and she literally points out the smallest things I do and makes me feel insecure 🥲 (also- I hope your doing well now
I became the toxic "friend" When i was in middle school, i regret doing that because now I have no friends because of my social skills and anxiety
The important is that you recognize your errors and tries to be a better friend, I can be your friend I you want to
It’s sad to say that all my friends have become toxic. Unfortunately when that happens you start having suicidal thoughts and even stop liking the things you loved! It’s not right for someone to feel so hurt to the point that they don’t care about themselves anymore.
Oof yea
Sometimes the bestest friend you can have is yourself (even though it's easier said then done)
Me too. Be strong xxx
My friend always wants me to play a game with him, and I have to make excuses every time. Why am I so afraid to say no? I wasn’t like this when I was a toddler.
@@lilY-f1t Same. I used to have trouble saying no but now whenever I say no, I feel so proud of myself.
I hope you can do that too someday. I wish you courage and strength💜
I need this, cuz my best friend is slowly becoming look suspicious.
Mine is too!!
Same here my friend haven't talked to me in 2 days now.He was absolutely fine sunday but he did a 180 the next without warning.He hasn't said word and Im getting so paranoid about it
We hope this helps! Did any of these signs describe your best friend?
all of my BFF is toxic around me..
To all this having this toxic bestie hanging around, here's my story and how I dealt with it:
So we were super besties since 2 years now, and as it was planned by our families (coincidentally at the same time), we both had to move to different countries. The countries time difference is 9 hours, so yea we both moved pretty far away... As we were done packing up and stuff, we both realised our parents had their own feuds... Also keep in mind we're both teens, her being a tween. So we expected that we were prolly not gonna last long... And we did stop talking for a while, but then she contacted me with her new number thru her sister's phone and texted me, and that was the best moment ever!!! Since then, she was obviously exited about her new house as it was better than the older one, and then till a month we were really well in touch. After a month, she started seeming sad more often than ever and always texted me, i would always text back as soon as possible even if it were 3 am for me, I'd support her no matter what, until it was me who became upset... I had my downs starting in my life and I really needed her, but she'd always say that she needed to study now, and I knew I couldn't ask her to stop studying, so I said it was totally ok, but after a few mins I saw her sharing funny tiktok shorts in a friend group we were both in, and that, the fact she took procastinating over helping me at my worst really hit me hard. After this same story repeated itself around 5 times, I stopped taking her support and handled myself. Then I slowly got better, everything went back to normal and I started texting her again, but this time she never replied, I was always waiting. She always left me on seen, and still was sharing tiktoks in that group. A month went this way, with a week at the end without me texting her even once... Yea things were pretty bad between us now, and then one day she texted me asking why I didn't text her since so many days, after a few hours when I finally saw that message, I asked her- "you really think I would text u by the way u were?"
Yup. She knew she messed up bad, I could see it by the replies she sent me, she was constantly apologising and told me how she realised she was being so selfish... Now she never leaves me on seen or puts anything over me when I text her, and the best part we talk like the super close besties again!!!
Things might be messed up between u and them, but Sometimes it takes patience and giving them some time to show them that they're messing up, and teaching them a mild lesson, not something super harsh, just leave them alone for sometime till they ask u what is wrong. That'll make them make sure they play their part just the way u deserve it... It does hurt to be hurting them to show them that u need them and they're messing up for once, but sometimes it's the only way... Do make sure that u catch up with them really well after they realise it.
Peace out✌️
Gaslighting...You confront them about an issue, they deny, lie, dismiss without any accountability, portraying you as delusional, overreacting and belittling your feelings
I told my "best friend" about my self harm scars, my homicidal and suicidal intrusive thoughts and my eating disorder, and she laughed about it, and talked about in front of people. She also made fun of my height and weight, which makes me very insecure. She also teased me for being trans, yet the girl who she said is bad for me makes me feel better about myself, and I don't know what to do.
Just avoid her....
I am reading this 3 months later, it makes me sad....nobody has they right to make jokes about your health problems, what you need is love and support. I hope you can heal your health problems and you find good friends in the way..and yes avoid her...it is difficult, but the best for your mind and soul
Mine always made fun of me bc i have brown hair and brown eyes and that looks so "eXoTiC", she also makes fun abt my social anxiety and says that I'm just overreacting, she also made fun of my nose( in fact most of the stuff that I'm insecure abt is bc of her ) & laughs abt embarrassing stuff that happened like 5 years ago and tell them everybody even though she knows I'm not comfortable with it. Also she makes everything a competition for example not long ago I said that I couldn't sleep almost the whole night & she was like I couldn't sleep like the whole week, so stop dramatize everything - I swear I'm so tired of this shit
@@flwervictoria God, I hate people like that. Just hang in there, she's not a true friend :)
@@rivertheenbybitch117 ik she isnt but if I would drop her I wouldn't have friends at school lol😀🤚
How ik my friend is toxic.
○ She judges the way i:
- Drink
- Eat
- Walk
- She constantly calls me hideous
○ Stabs me in the back and turns my other friends against me.
Then u should end the relationship
so why you still her friend?
i really understand where you’re coming from and how much it hurts and i don’t wanna belittle that but my best friend and i make fun of each other about everything for fun, not sure why but we both are fine with it so maybe they think it’s something like that? i could totally be wrong and i understand if you don’t want to be in that situation even if it is supposed to be for fun, but here’s another perspective ig
Sounds like they aren't a friend at all...
Well mine just jokes around and gets me laughing all the time lol
This video is a great help in reminding me that while I loved my best friend as a friend and a partner, he was a toxic relationship that I needed to get away from. This video showed he had all the characteristics, and I'm proud of the fact that I was able to finally escape after 8 years. Thank you for the upload, and the supportive vibe you folks carry with all of your content.
A friend got angry at me for being "too negative" when I was worried about them
I'll just take what little mental stability and energy I have left elsewhere
Here to check if i'm the toxic best friend ..
I really like food but i'm sad everyday hmmm
Me too honey. Me too
Are you? :O
@@Psych2go no , but my besties have most of these signs . Should i be worried ?
Me too
I have one friend that hits pretty much all of these. They used to be my best friend and I’m still their best friend. They’ve been going downhill a lot lately though and trying drag me with them, but I keep managing to make excuses to get away from the situation. But I don’t know how to actually fix it without hurting someone involved
My best friend betrayed me for toxic people “Best Friend”
I feel that man. The same thing happened to me a long time ago
@@frostlord1246 same
Frostlord1 it’s ok
me too, my “best friend” had gotten close to someone who is toxic.
same.
"Does your best friend show any of these signs?"
Any?ANY??? *ANY???!!!!!!*
ALL OF THEM HONEY!
Literally its the worst especially since she’s my best friend
My bestie gave me an earful in front of all her family members, her stylist, and neighbors on different occasions for even the tiniest of mistakes.
I pointed it out how doing this publicly hurt me, yet she believes she was right in doing so. Apparently she feels "success hugs you in private while failure slaps you in public."
I just wanted her to acknowledge that yes, this might have hurt me, but even today she feels her so-called reasons justified her actions.
I felt all my love and respect for her go away in those few conversations. Maybe she'll realize someday.
I haven’t seen my best friend for a few months now, we’ve been growing apart for the past year. She only talked about herself and her boy problems and she cheats on every boyfriend she has. We’re 20 now and her new best friend is sleeping with a married man...
She always picked fights with me and got upset with me when I was happier than her.
Whenever we are together, I feel so uncomfortable. I’m glad we’ve grown apart but I miss her parents.
I understand you, a girl who was a best friend and she used to say we were like sisters started to have negative behaivors and even used me to tell lies to her family. I am avoiding her a lot now. I don't miss her, but I miss her mom and niece.
Hope whoever is reading this is having a good day 💕 toxic friendships really take a toll on your mental health 😔
ikr. my mental health has been really bad lately because of someone. :'(
Thank you!! You too
Yeah ....really depressing .Actually it becomes worst when you have only one best friend and that too u find toxic...!
Edit: That friend is still my best friend and no more toxic. Have patience people, understand the reason behind their behaviour ...take time and reflect positively even if you end that friendship.
Thank you! ☺️
@@KhushiYadav-su1or yeah...!
She’s been making jokes about me that really hurt me. She targeted my insecurities, calling me a cow and talked behind my back. But she’s my girlfriend’s best friend too. When she says things about my, my girlfriend gets mad. The next time she says something, *it will end.*
need this even though i stopped talking to them after they started making comments on my weight and calling me random stuff
Its unbelievable how their every(almost)video come at the right time
We hope this video helped you!! Does this video describe someone you know?
@@Psych2go no but.you do a really great job. 👍👍
Actually i have had a toxic best friend two years ago .when i realized that she is intoxicating me i stopped talking to her..but still i feel bad that i lost her.
The thing is, she doesn’t intentionally hurt me, but when I tell her it hurt she didn’t say sorry
Red flag.
I feel like sometimes my friends be toxic. I have this fear of just being judged by people and I’m that type of person when something embarrassing or bad happens to me I try to avoid it or not let it happen again. My friends were like “You need to play kickball.” knowing I was afraid of sports. So I was like “Ok I’m gonna try it.” I tried it and then fell down in front of everyone. So I stopped trying and then when I didn’t want to play they would ignore me or go talk to someone else to make me feel bad.
I'm sorry to my best friend for being toxic, but I would make a change...
Thanks for letting me know, I'll make sure I would make up for him
Me and my friend have been friends for 13 years, but over the last few months it’s just been exhausting to be with them. They’re super rude to me all the time and then they’re suddenly in a good mood and wonder why I don’t really want to hang out. They don’t give me time for myself (I’ve been struggling with mental health) and don’t respect it when I just need space.
The only reason my friend puts me down is because I’m an introvert and I’m too afraid to tell them because we both like hanging out and being with each other
So relatable
Yeha its good to leave them
“people make you look bad so they don’t feel guilty about the thing that they’ve done to you” yep that happened to me :c
This helped me a lot to rethink this friendship, this friend of mine literally yelled at me and gave me the silent treatment afterwards because I was having a depressive episode and not "listening to what he's saying", he says I give in to social pressures and I have negative energy. Like bro OBVIOUS I'm going to be negative, I have depression damn
1- They abuse your friendship
2- They start competing with you
3- They betray your trust
4- They internationally hurt you
5- They bring out the worst in you
6- They make you feel insecure
7- You make excuses for them
8- You don’t like being around them anymore
I’m leaving my toxic stranger
After watching this, I have to admit that I was that one toxic friend. I have had my home/childhood/family life issues affect me big time all the way into early adulthood. Made a small, yet tight group of friends early on and thought we were inseperable. Years later, I realized the distance they were putting between me and them. As well as the little things, like hardly getting invites to go out to lunch together, or having a night on the town.. without me (you notice these things when you feel missing from pics posted on social media, etc). Never said anything about it, and continied to let time march on. Finally got fed up with thinking it over and over. Thought I was in the right to write em all an open letter letting them know how I felt, and that I wouldn't be returning to the "circle" anytime soon, if at all. Come to find out through a mutual friend that they held back and avoided me because they couldn't tolerate my jokes, attitude, overall behavior, etc. Made me absolutely livid to hear that .. until I realized I was the toxic one.
It took heartache and loss for me to be humble enough to step back and admit I needed a change of overall mental well being. Abuse of all sorts was prevalent under our roof during my childhood, and its impact stuck with me and showed itself. They took the shock of dealing with the worst parts of me.
We all need to be able to take that step and acknowledge when someone close to us is toxic, and do whatever is necessary to protect ourselves. But in certain cases (like mine), ones self may be the root of that toxicity. This video has helped me realize and accept it. If anyone is in the same boat, please realize we're all human. And we can surely change. People come and go, some stay longer than expected. But you have to live with yourself and who you are for a very long time. Might as well make that person a good one, and have them be as far away from being toxic as possible. Eventually you'll hit that sweet spot and the right people will come to stay, because you truly are you.
Sorry for this long, nonsensical rambling. Hopefully someone can take something useful from this.
Be well, everyone..
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing and taking accountability of your actions. Wish more people were like you. In my case, this girl I was best friends with never owns up to her actions at all and just gaslighted me and denied everything and lied to everyone. She always makes herself look innocent and turns others against me making me look like the problem. I always end up alone with no support. I am very resentful towards all of those "friends" and never want anything to do with them. Also no longer wish them well (used to always wish them happiness), but not anymore. Heck I'm so done I only wish myself all the happiness. And for them - may karma get their butts and make them see and experience 10x the hurt and pain I suffered.
I am over my very toxic best friend and trust me....it was hard doing that but when u r over her/him, it feels like you have got your life back and it's loads better...I hope you all are keeping well 💛
I already know that my best friend is very toxic, but i can't leave them for some reason, i can't move on a new friendship with someone else...
That feeling will pass & the longer you allow that toxic person to stay in your life the more difficult it becomes to make your exit. I once felt like that after a 16 year friendship with my ex best friend. Now it's been 6 years, my life elevated, negativity gone, that constant energy drain nonexistent. That doesn't mean I don't still think about her because I do & I just remember the good times & keep it moving with my life. It's hard but you can do it.
I agree with brittany and even i went through that stuff with an old friend of mine who was once my real friend
But once we hit the puberty she became a toxic friend, i didn't spoke to her in like 5 years now anymore and ended the friendship 2 years ago
@@leontineketting97 Unfortunately we have to do that sometimes. It is good that you were able to recognize her toxicity & remove yourself.
I'm not going to lie, it hurt me a lot when my ex best friend's own mother said " Brittany she isn't the kind of friend to you that you are to her. You are genuine...she's not she talks about your behind your back & envies you among other things." I was in denial until I started to see it for myself & realized her mom was right. Had to walk away . Now that I reflect on it I'm glad I did.
I see. What would that reason be?
@@Psych2go
I don't know, maybe i just can't move on someone like her, she know everything about me and we're like sisters, but she's also too toxic for me to communicate with..
I left my toxic friend just recently telling them how uncomfortable I felt. I was expecting an apology but seems like their blocking me on every single social media that they find me on and not saying anything. Looks like they won’t admit what they’ve done and been real quiet to me since. But now I only have one true friend with me now and that’s ok. It doesn’t matter how many friends you’ve got :)
If you’re planning on leaving your toxic friend (you should), don’t feel anxious about how they would feel because you’re concentrating on keeping YOURSELF happy this time. Stop putting others first and focus on yourself. Tell close ones that would understand when you’re ready and TAKE YOUR TIME. Trust me, you won’t feel as bad as you think after you eventually leave your toxic “friends”.
I may not know you but I know that you have the confidence to do what makes you happy and to do what you desire. We all may have different experiences with our toxic friendships but you’re not the only one struggling.
You’re amazing and show them how much you’ve grown and how happier you are without them. I know you can do this my sweet potatohs. You shall recieve thy forehead kiss.
( ˘ ³˘)♥
It describes a lot about mom's friendship. How they first appear to be kind, warming, and generous, but as she dig deeper in her friendship. It uncovers an evil person. Nothing like the person she knew from first sight.
I started school today and my “best friend” straight up ignored me and went to hang with someone else :/
It happened to me too
Mine does the same, but she makes up eXcUses- for example she says yEaH i iGnOrEd u bC u dIdNt aNsWeREd my tExTES yEsTerDay- LIKE WTF
Rn she ignores me bc i didnt wanted her to give my pinterest Account bc ik she would make fun of me- LIKE WTFFF i'm so tired of this shit, but i cant let her go bc if I would I wouldnt have any friends at all lol
you gotta find a new friend oof
Yea my best friend wanted to increase their bond with her friend group but we ended up not talking to each other in school and all I do is play games with her every weekend(we rarely play tho). I’m an introvert so she was my closest friend
ohhh poor u. if they do that, they are not a true friend, u deserve better!
My old best friend and I had a toxic friendship and we're still in touch with one another. However, I grew a significant distance and made boundaries of where I meet her now even though I have never actually verbally communicated it. It's clear on my side of the friendship that I've grown distant from where we used to be. I do notice that sometimes she wants to go back to the way things were. But she caused me too much pain for me to go back,. We've known each other for so long; it was and still hard to let go completely. Everyone has a lot of inner work to do with themselves and everyone's on their own journey.
I read somewhere that it is okay to love somebody from a distance, but don't give them access to you.
My bestie is always saying things like : "ur avatar on roblox is ugly , ur pursuing me, I'm not gonna pay for what u gave me" and she mostly ignores me:(
I had those signs during the past 6 months and I was happy to have left a toxic best friend during the lockdown after 8 years being in the same high school (long story). I have a new best friend now so I shall protect both of us from the red flags.
May I ask how you ended the "friendship"?
@@bpenguin101 He was incredibly manipulative and unsupportive while I wanted to start being independent, whereas taking all the credit when we were business partners; he also agitates me for a purpose which was the last straw of the friendship
Eitan Cheah Ohh I see. I must’ve been really hard for you. I hope you’re doing well now and being happy with better friends. thank you so much for the reply.
@@bpenguin101 truly it was. I'm glad you asked. The story was too long to talk about though :( i've been healing for 6 months now
This is my story.
All I can think of is Todd in Community: “What the hell is wrong with you?! Your love is weird! And TOXIC! And it destroys everything it touches!”
And that was the line that made me realize how my best friend and I are toxic. I miss what we used to be.
My friends home is in unrest,, constant arguing that goes nowhere is just pushing me away. I feel very sad about leaving their autistic son behind. He's such a beautiful soul and highly intelligent, but left to bring himself up. They said, he had never learned to spell his name, and how stressed they are. I have him typing song titles into the computer, in six months, and just by convincing his mother to let him play with the thing. Sitting in front of the Disney channel, as he was and still is subject to, is doing harm. I have never seen them do anything with him.
It's just now that I realized that I had a toxic friendship for more than 23 years.
I was sad when I ended it 3 years ago, but now I'm glad for the same reason.
Thank you 😊❤
Thank you I’m really scared she might be ill be more careful abt her now
Not friends, not enemies, just strangers with some memories.
im the toxic one
if someone mess with my bff.
Isn't that other half of the Comment tooo far from the first....?
You had me in the first half ngl
There’s a particular personality I see here and there that matches most of these traits, give or take. The most disturbing trait to me is when their personality takes a noticeable turn when others are around and they begin making jokes at my expense or otherwise downplaying or insult me in ways they wouldn’t if we were just hanging out alone.
I have a difficult time reasoning why they do this because it’s so contrary to my nature that I can’t learn much of it through introspection.
I assume they do this because they value improving their personal social status above my emotional well-being. Perhaps they believe because I’m easygoing I’ll forgive them endlessly so they won’t encounter any consequences for their abuse.
I currently have no more people in my life like this but It’s still a very strange personality phenomenon to me. I don’t fully understand it.
According to this video, my old soulmate would be toxic. Honestly, I'm glad to no longer have them around
Here’s my experience right now if you’re in for a story:
I’ve been friends with this girl since 8th grade so almost 5 years now. We were so close, had the same music taste, loved the same Korean foods, and loved kpop, anime, and always hung out. I like stayed at her house for a week once and it was the funnest time of our lives.
Corona hit and we were close as ever. We called almost everyday and during every class, spent hours together playing video games and texted all day. Literally even in the shower we were just so comfortable with each other.
This friend use to always tell me that I was her only friend for life and that she is really bad at making new friends and would joke that we should dorm together in college. I would agree! And laugh along. But I never thought she was that much of an introvert I knew she was good with other people despite having a tendency to get overwhelmed by others faster.
Then recently things got weird. This may have been my fault but I dislike the group of friends that she gravitates to, and I’d say those people pretty much just gossip together about people I don’t really know. They were cliquey and not very welcoming so I didn’t sit with them or with my friend who wanted to. Instead I sat with my usuals friends who my close friend also knew, and she use to sit with us too! But then she said she felt more comfortable sitting with the other more cliquey people and left. I didn’t mind honestly, I knew some of them were genuinely sweet.
Not until she came to sit with us… I was happy at first but I also felt like I had to entertain her to keep her with me.
It was also essentially impossible to hang out with her and hard to bring up hanging out with her. She would laugh and plan things with other people (not that they ever happened) but still it hurt to see her plan things with other but not with me… even though I put in an effort to.
I also feel like there’s a loss of respect these days. Just today I tried to show her a song I really liked. She just responds I don’t like it before we even listened to it. I mean I get her opinion but I was a little bit hurt by the roughness. Moments after she showed me her favorite current song which I felt obliged to also like mostly out of fear. I’m just always on eggshells around her now….
She also forgot a plan we had today. She just apologized over text and it was ok for me because I was with someone else thankfully who stayed with me instead. But I was still hurt.
The same day she told me she only truly liked friend J and friend N, of course she probably was suggesting me too since I’m right in front of her I don’t know it bothered me that she had to emphasize she was close and that she liked these people . She also says she dislikes majority of the cliquey group now which I’m glad she realized.
Often our conversations are about other people. Especially her texts she loves showing me her texts with other people. I did the same but recently I quit realizing it almost feels competitive. I just laugh and nod eith her stories, sometimes draining.
She also has put me in awkward situations where I choose her or disappoint her. Simple moments where we are talking in a group and she wants to show me her animation all of a sudden, I’m busy talking to someone and she says to look I want to finsih my sentence but she gets sullen and when I say ok let me look now she’s like I tried to show you already.
She also strongly dislikes person S (because she says person S is invasive and doesn’t know what personal space is) which puts me in more awkward situations cause I rly like both of them. So it’s hard to be nice and inclusive of both of them especially when we have class together. I just wish she voiced her opinion to person S and ask for personal space in a nice way. Rather than having me step in to make sure everything’s ok.
Last thing, I’ve been working rly hard on an application since like the summer. And results come out soon! I’ve been nervous and talking about it with my friends, even my non close friends know the date and the program I applied for. Yet I mentioned it and she had no clue what it was. I was confused and I don’t think she really cared because I didn’t bother to elaborate cause she didn’t want to kno more. But friends that were less close would encourage me and ask me when my results came out.
Maybe it’s on me… probably did a bad job of making her feel that she was my priority as I’m kind of a social butterfly. And now that I clearly feel I am not her priority anymore it hurts. A lot. But I won’t say or do anything I’m still there for her but it just isn’t the same as before.
you did nothing wrong. i know what it feels like and i'm going to say it right now: to toxic people friends are like stuffed animals. let me explain. they get a new stuffed animal (which in this case, is you, just like i was a few times) and they adore it. they don't like sharing it and they like to keep it to themselves. but, as time passes, they are starting to get bored of the toy, and start playing with it less every day, until they outgrow them and throw them away. they realise we aren't of any use for them and they leave us. it is hard now, but eventually it will get better. you will make new friends, who will always be on your side, so, please, don't be discouraged.
P.S. i would be glad to hear what the results are. if you want to tell me, of course.
i wish you good luck
Old isn’t gold. Idk what it is about friends you’ve had for a long time, but it seems that they think they can get away with being nasty. No matter what, you don’t deserve that type of treatment. I wish nothing but the best for you, and that you make more healthy relationships that encourage you to be your best self!
The fact that she is too much introvert is a sign she doesn’t really have no one else than U...in her life and maybe you being same with others too as you are with her...hurts her...?afik she is jealous with you someway and is more clingy...nd it’s hard to change for her of being like that...she is probably over-thinker! I’m not saying it’s your fault or something but I hope u don’t consider her as toxic totally cuz she was your bestie at one time isn’t it? One solution is that u should talk about things clearly with her to avoid drama...u know 🤷♀️
I'm kind of in a similar situation. I'm kinda paranoid to type this, since I'm afraid my friend would read this but I get you. It just.... Doesn't feel right with my friend anymore. Especially since my mom and dad tell me she isn't good for me too. But what the heck is the real reason, is my question. I've blown off friendships a lot and all of them I've been told by an adult that those were not good relationships. With my friend, it's like I always have to listen to her and I do my best to make it seem that I am interested in what she is talking about, yet when I say something to her it seems like she doesn't care and she always closes me off and that she doesn't care. She always said that she is being mean because she is my best friend and that best friends are mean to each other, but when I am talking about something that I like I want her to not blow me off and instead listen to me even if it's not in same enthusiasm as I did with her. And recently, cause of that, every time that she said something that she likes I reply that I didn't care and I never talk to her about things that I like because I was afraid that she would belittle that. And that makes me feel guilty because, well, I don't do that. The reason I do it to her is solely because she does it to me. And I can't say that I don't like that because she might say that she was just joking and I shouldn't take it too seriously. I don't even know I'm sensitive or I'm toxic, considering I've felt like this with many friends now. It's just tiring.
And I know it's petty too. Sorry for ranting but uh... Hope everything goes by well on your side. Peace from the other hemisphere of the world!
my friend is really nice but I shifted school since then she got a new friend and she hanouts either her every weekend and I don't have any new friend in this school and that makes me insecure ....I don't know what to do
I wish I had seen this sooner, but thankfully I have other kinder friends who helped me see how toxic my former best friend was. Our relationship went from having fun together and collaborating, to me being their constant cheerleader and then to just one small voice in a crowd. It didn't matter how much I tried to support them it wasn't enough because I was just one person instead of a crowd. My emotional state didn't matter, but theirs did. I was called toxic for when I had a bad day and got angry--even if I was quick to recognize my shittiness on my own an apologise that same night, but they never were toxic--not in their mind. I was called clingy because I still enjoyed talking with them and doing all the things we used to together. I couldn't be enough for them. And they couldn't "cope" with being asked to talk nicer to me. I had to respect their boundaries and their limits but god forbid I ask to not be treated like crap. It hurt so much being their friend, and it hurt worse to let them go. But I didn't deserve to be treated like that. A friendship isn't transactional. It isn't about what you can give. It's about enjoying your time with the other person and genuinely being happy around them. Even though it hurts so much I have other friends who understand me so much better. They can politely tell me when they need space without snapping at me. They don't verbally attack me over petty things. They don't even let me talk down to myself. They appreciate who I am, what I offer as a friend, and give me love and respect. We can be ourselves with each other and trust each other openly. It hurts to lose a friend of so long who I held on to so dearly and loved so much. But real friends won't make you cry alone at night, wondering why things went this way, or how you can go back to the good old days. Good friends make every day a good day.
Honestly the way ur best friend was treating you is the exact same way mine is treating me but the difference is I don't have any other friends she is my only freind and if I lose her I won't have anyone left. I don't have the guts to leave her
I walked out of a 40 year old friendship. It became so toxic, my hair started falling out. She flirted with my husband and then one night her mask came off after raging about something stupid. I hated who I was when I was with her. I broke it off, blocked her completely and the peace that followed showed me it was the right decision. She also had no boundaries and I had to walk on eggshells not to trigger her. I looked at the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and she ticks 9/9 of them. I dodged a bullet. Time to heal now.
I lost my best friend because of her toxicity today. And I agree she used to make me feel so insecure and it hurt.
I told my friend that i was feeling depressed and will text when i feel better and he was like sorry and then started telling me how i should watch a show she started, so we could disscus it. When she says she's feeling sad, i always do something for her - write her a story or tell her how she is an amazing person and im there for her if she needs to talk. And now i feel like they dont care about me, she doesnt have to do anything for me, but it would've meant a lot if she asked if she can help. I dont even know what to do, im crying for half an hour now. Why cant i have friends that care for me, am i not worthy of their time 😟
Ahhh i just cut off all the “friends” ive known for over 10 years and it feels great!! We all gotta move on in life and unfortunately for them these people have no place in my life anymore, i once heard this from a wise man, you cant finesse your way into a good person
However you can finesse your way of access to that good person, everything you do has consequences
Ok, I’m going to watch this just in case
I had a friend who would give me and my husband a lot of expensive gifts. Games, anime figures, tickets to cons, and well the list goes on. Basically they did this so me and my husband was obligated to hang out with them every time they wanted to and held the gifts over our heads as a way of gilt tripping us. We had to put our foot down when things got out of hand and they pushed a little further on our boundaries.
This happened about a year ago and I am happy to say they have gotten better and saw that what they did was wrong. We still talk just not as much as we did back then but I am happy to see them doing better and aren't slipping back into their old ways.
guilt* tripping
@@QuietChaos1996 thank you.
I have just ended a toxic friendship. She tooked away my pieceful life. It both feel good and not good to end the friendship. Good because I can start to sleep good again and do what I like with joy. But not good because I don't want to hurt her feelings.
It might sounds narcissistic, but this time I need to think about myself.
A friend should be someone who makes your life better. And you make your friend's life better too.
I know I did the right choice. I hope she will be okay one day and can get a new friend, who is a lot more compatible with her than I was.
I remember when my ex toxic best friends called me being anorexic because I‘ve lost much weight for a healthy life (I was fat honestly, now I have a normal weight). I worked really hard for it and they tried to ruin it. mostly the narcisstic toxic friend who turned everyone against me. She is very obese and she always tried to put me down. Last time I saw her I wore a choker and she told something to me like: „I would never wear something like this.“ and I replied: „well you need a neck for that at least.“
That was the last Time I saw her. I wooooonder whyyyy 😂
I‘m happy to get rid all of them.
Good for you...💜
me: *helping a friend even when she don't need it*
me: *literally crying*
friend: *seen*
yeah ok
Same thing happens to me. 😔😞
Thats so very true. I bet everyone has a toxic friend in their lives. I also have one that always puts me in trouble and take away all of my credit. Thankyou so much for making this video and telling to those who do not know that their friends are toxic.
This is so triggering xD My best friend that I know since I was 3 (27 now still friends) is exactly like that. Every single point in this video is just 100% how she's treating me. Problem: she's my only friend, only human that I am still in contact since my social phobia became so worse I haven't met anyone since beginning of corona. AND I think I've developed an extreme emotional dependency on her as a result of her constant manipulation. And I think she's really enjoying it. That way she doesn't have to do anything for me, never give anything, never care about me but instead can treat me like shit and still knows I won't go but probably even apologize and thinking I have done something wrong. Also getting constant reassurance of course. And she's doing it purposely. Every few days in the least. Provocing such situations in which my dependency on her becomes crystal clear so she can push her confidence. Thanks, bestie!
I really really hope you can get out of it😭💜
@@ayeshamurudkar3380 Thank you dear! That's so nice of you :)
@@spiritofthewinds9089 I am so glad that you have professional help. As someone who left my toxic friends, I know it's not very easy to leave them. But I'm so glad that you had enough strength and courage to do so. So proud of you!! I wish you happiness. And you are welcome :)
When your friends basically bully you even though you express your upset they don't stop.
I just got out of a toxic friendship and I feel so good. She treated me like garbage for 4 years and basically said it was my fault, lied to me constantly, made everything about her and so, SO much more
9. You’re friend makes you feel like you aren’t worthy enough to be their friend. My best friend actually does this. She makes me feel like I’m not worthy enough to be her friend. She tells me stuff like “You’re making my day worse” and I was calling with her and I told my sister to shut some music and my friend’s dad was playing music (she told me why) and she thought it was to her. Which brings us to our 10th point
10. They only talk about themselves. If your best friend just likes to moan about her problems rather than listen to yours, bud, that friend ain’t a good one.
I have 1 friend. He is my best friend. His name is niceguy048. He subed me after i kept my promise and subbed to him. Sadly I have not heard from him in 2 years now and in March his channel got suspended, but I know one day he will return and continue being my friend.
Online friend?
@@hiyahiya3491 You could call him that too, yes, as I have only chatted him online on youtube. But he is still my best friend. x
Wholesome af
@@Ayd33_ thanks . x
Sometimes these things just have to end. I have an experience like this and that friend and I are no longer on speaking terms but since then I have found great, supportive, loving friends. There are other, better people out there. Don't be afraid to let the toxic person go.
I'm literally crying rn...I've had 3 toxic friendships the 2nd one was the worst..I'll make a storyline if this gets 10 likes
Thanks a lot , really needed it
I had a bestie like this she talked behind my back, and acted weird with me and acted genuine with everyone else. She got me into all of this.
I have given my friend soooo much, and the most they’ve done for me is buy me a pack of cheez-it’s, steal my original content and ideas, blame me for their problems, and get me in a situation where I have to either choose them, or my other friends. She even is taking over the RUclips channel I have put SO much hard work and dedication into it. When I try to break up, she guilt trips me and fake cries. any advice?
Leave the friendship. You can't fix your friend. You don't have to be guilty for leaving the friendship because it's not your responsibility to do things for her with nothing in return. Helping someone is one thing if they at least treat you right. For the RUclips channel, just talk to her about it and ask her to leave the channel if she doesn't respect your boundaries. Connect with your other friends more
@@Polar_Bear_2007 thank you for the advice! I have a good feeling that this will carry out well, I plan to break up tomorrow at lunch, and change the passwords… I hope it won’t cause too much contention and harm to either of us. Wish me luck!
*_Bold of you to assume that I have a Bestfriend._*
Very😂
The worst part of ending a friendship is knowing that you won't be able to do all the things you used to with them or with who you thought they were
These sounds more like relatives to me than my friends....