I've experienced all that sh... with my narc. mom. Until it was ENOUGH. I didn't visit her since six years. Never want to be alone with her in the lions cage😡
My twin daughters both have nasissist boyfriends one is Covert and the other grandoise. They both brainwashed my twin girls so bsd they believe them they say I'm so bad of a mom and grandmother that I haven't been allowed at their house to see them and my grandkids. My Son in 2021 ask my daughter if he could stay a few days until he left up north to work. The boyfriend said noone was staying there and he dropped him off at the corner store. A few hours later my son was robbed and killed in march 2021. Then I lost my daughter in July 2021. And then me and my mom got covid. We had plans to go bury my children up north . we never did make it back to Mass .we were in the hospital and a week later they finally told me my mom was only two doors down. She died an hour after they took me to her room in August of 2021. The day my Mom died my daughter and her nasissist boyfriend were there in the room. After she died i was so broken i pulled out my ivs and left the hospital. The boyfriend wouldn't let me in the house so they dropped me off at a hotel with all my moms belongings and wept by myself for months I wept. I lost two kids and my mom in 5 months time and he had no empathy at all. I don't get to see my grandkids or kids . I said to my twins I was shunned from the family. I had no emotional support during this grief I'm still in. And I'm also grieving them and they are still here. When I do call them if they pick up they call me "Bro" we are busy . we work. I said first of all I'm your Mother not your "Bro" and it never stops . I had empty nest syndrome when they left home and that was bad enough. But now..I don't even have a nest. Thank you for the channel . I learn so much. P.S Just a broken Mom
My husband left without warning after 25 years. God took care of me, comforted me, protected me, brought angels into my life to help me. Him? He totally destroyed his life. I’m sure he “gets it” by now - he can NEVER COME BACK. I have completely rebuilt my life - totally & completely healed, helping others, new job, new house, new car, family intact, friends in my life. I’m SO HAPPY that God removed him from my life at a time when he was on the verge of destroying his. I am free. I am alone - but not lonely! Rest, peace & joy reign. Thank God! 🙏🏼❤️
Everything you said is true. I had major surgery. He dropped me off and picked me up the next day. When I woke up from surgery the nurse asked which waiting room my family was in so they could see me. I was embarrassed to say that no one was waiting for me. He would celebrate my birthday by getting falling down drunk or disappearing. When a loved one died he would tell me to get over it. When I was disabled he told me I was faking it. He took my life savings. I was with him for about 25 years. After 5 years of living alone, I am starting to find myself again. I still can't socialize, have deep shame and sadness. Everyone thinks he is great and so nice and I am crazy. Its all my fault. So tired of victim shaming. I see this from "councillors" on RUclips. So grateful you don't do that. Thank you!💐
I had a similar life with my ex. I have now been on my own for 8 years and I am also just now finding myself again, figuring out what it is that I like or want to do. And yes, everyone thinks he is so great and he was somehow the victim in our marriage and I'm just some crazy B!%@!. He's abandoned his wife of 20+ years and his kids but he's such a great guy!
My wife is the same. The older they get, the meaner they get. We had an argument yesterday and to justify her behaviour she claimed she has cancer.... it just never stops with the lies.
@@mamacarrie2350 Glad you got away. I hope you are living a good life. I don't understand how they have such messed up lives yet everyone thinks they are great or at least normal. Mine has a talent for carpentry so he impresses everyone with it but he is also a disorganized mess, alcoholic and spends money on everything that catches his eye so he lives in poverty. But he is great. So sorry your kids had to go through this. The Ns are like an evil unleashed on this world.
@@horiboyablemgtow7842 Good God! How bad can it get?! Mine claimed he wasn't an alcoholic but he was getting dementia! Got back into my home, had me even go to doctor with him but he didn't follow through on scheduled appointments. Figured out he was faking and kicked him out for last time. Just evil. I feel sorry you are still in this situation. Don't ever blame yourself! I did for a long time. Take care of your health. Wishing you a better future.
I am a serious dog lover. When my dogs were old and falling ill and I had to make the gut wrenching decision to have them put to sleep my narcissist would have a last minute meeting or commitment that he just couldn't miss. He would leave me to go through it alone. I had a similar experience when my mother was dying, he went out to dinner with friends and turned his phone off. He didn't want to be disturbed in case she died while he was enjoying dinner. They are never there for you no matter how big or small the life event. He used to tell me " you're on your own" I finally realized how very true that was and got the hell out. Now I am happily on my own.
My ex Narc was the same, I got no support when my Mother passed instead I was expected to be there for them, the same was true when I had to put my beautiful dog to sleep, no support, just put me through hell,they are not,nor never will be worthy of us, we deserve so much better ✨❣️✨
I was intentionally denied the last chance to see my mother before she passed due to transportation, so when the disordered ex husband was called and asked for a ride, he instead raged, guilt tripped and had the audacity to lie and say my mother never liked him anyway, then the equally disordered younger sibling never showed as she said she would to pick me up nor answer any of my repeated calls either. The following day and shortly after she'd passed is when the demonic POS showed up unannounced at my door.
This helps me know it's not all in my head. Everybody says I'm imagining it, or they say, "this is normal, everyone goes through this" but they don't understand the extent that this is happening. That it is not normal. Normal people don't do these kinds of things, and consistently, all the time. Now I know, there isn't something wrong with me.
Yup, you've really got to cone here to be understood, being out there, casting a fishing 🎣 line for some kind of support and explanation does little good or only goes so far!
Narcissists' real self gets revealed when they find a new supply and to show commitment and loyalty to them - they push away and hurt their old/present supply with lies and anger.
narc is unpredictable and dangerous, so, be careful when u confront them. once, my narc mom showed up with a kitchen knife pointing at us, wearing an apron 'I didn't say that!!!'. she eavesdropped us from the kitchen but we weren't talking about her. i guess her guilt (she loves to smear campaign me) over-took her emotion.
He actually told me those words. I asked why he didn’t help me or show up for me or defend me. He said, “you are strong and I figure you can handle it on your own.”
My brother in law raped me without touch me with his world. My husband said nothing. I asked him if your brother insult our daughter here also you will keep quite : you will be there non ? That was his answer.
This was a spot on description of what victims can never really describe to others who haven’t experienced this type of severe emotional abuse. Your comment about how difficult it is to extricate oneself emotionally resonated with me. It’s a horror that has made me afraid to love again. The narcissist is very good at lying and making a pretense of love. Now I have become a little aloof, reserving my emotions, I no longer trust… I verify. I’m lonely sometimes, but I believe this is the best way to keep a monster from entering my life.
Sadly true so, I have zero trust in ppl in whole (including authorities who believed the narc I was married to, these profession within cps and court system were even them fooled, those professions have plenty of NARS ). I have lived alone ever since I left him and this mentally and physically abusive marriage , 14 yrs later I still am not doing ok, I have trust issues a kidnapped son through a manipulated court system and I am still grieving my son he ended up with this abusive creature
Danish, you stir up all the memories. Of the lack that my then husband showed me! You are 1000% spot on! I wish I could have found your Channel sooner. Instead of wasting 27 years of my life. Married to this Monster!
Danish, I feel like we are brothers in arms! I was married to a covert narcissist for 14 years. Her father was an overt narcissist. I went no contact and divorced her over 5 years ago. I feel Iike I will always be recovering. I hate that anyone has to go through this, but you are a blessing. One of the last moments when I started to question everything, she came into the room, screaming at me because she thought I had done something to the power for the vacuum. I was on a ladder. When I told her the gas had run out of the generator, she just walked away. Never apologized, I felt like I had just been in a car wreck.
Every situation is on point especially the birthdays and vacations. For me every situation was sabotaged so that I couldn’t have any fun even though I made all the arrangements. Every single time, I’m done at this point and have gone totally no contact 👍
This is the absolute truth. My ex narc didn't even come to the hospital to see the baby. He didn't see the baby until he was two weeks old. I called him several times when I was at the hospital but he never came. I found out he was hanging out with other females the whole time I was in the hospital. I also had severe preeclampsia when I was in labor and the narc didn't even care.
I have actually pointed out that he always kicks me when I'm down. And he has never ever been there during any crisis or the birth of either of our children. And it was deliberate. I literally had to deal with any and every crisis on my own.
I appreciate your insights. I was in a hospital room after a suicidal crisis and the narcissist came in and glared at me and I knew she was angry that I still existed. She left me on my own the night before when I told her I was suicidal. She'd wanted me gone. In the hospital room the next day I saw and felt the cold hard fact. With that particular person, I was aware that I'd once been their scapegoat and that the scapegoating had just resurged. It was worse years later when a partner left me in the lurch after his friend molested me to the point where I had to shove him off me to prevent a forced kiss. When I told him what happened, this partner revealed his true nature by going into a tailspin of self-pity. He moaned that his 'friend' was the greatest and told me I should have sympathy for the guy because of his medical problems. Over time, he's only doubled down on this attitude. That was shattering. I had to square his lack of empathy with what I'd experienced in childhood and realized it was the same thing, covert narcissism. It's been tough but if you can at least recognize it for what it is you can prevent further damage by leaving the covert narcissist.
Thank you for reminding me of how bad it was. I needed to remember right now. Reminded how important it was that I left, and how hard my life would have stayed.
Always ,they must take center stage no matter what event is happening . It was AFTER my brain injury that I was unable to take his abuse. I could feel myself physically slipping away. The final straw was 2 innocent little words, ( after being physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually tortured for 8 1/2 years) he said " You're mean". After all the years of abuse, that is what put the lid on the jar. "You're mean ", he says..... After EVERYTHING I had endured at the hands of this psychopath, after being called every vile name in the book, after rap!@$ me, humiliating me and everything I had given of myself, THAT is what pushed me over the edge. I have been NO CONTACT since. I am healing and on the waiting list for open ♥ heart surgery but I am so glad to be free of this vampire. I still laugh a little because if he never would have said that, I would probably still be there, taking his rotten abuse. Thank God for your healing messages. Praise God I got out alive.
That one time, there was many times but there is one that stands out. She took our rent and bill money and paid the bills of her sister's house to keep them from eviction. She didn't ask me if she could do that, there was no conversation. I was the only one working in both households. It caused our car to be delinquent in payment and subsequently shut off. The rent to be late, the gas and electric to be behind with fees. I was angry and justifiably so. We argued for a week back and forth. No apologies and she felt like she could make that choice without needing to confer with her partner. She ran off to stay with the sister after I told her to leave. When she came back she thought it would be better. I waited the week for the money to be repaid and the sister ignored the requests. Then I found out the sister didn't even ask for help, my ex willingly placed our family in almost financial ruin to save a person who had used us for countless things in the past without reciprocity. So she came back and broke the latch to the bedroom where I was sleeping. I was still angry and I asked her what the hell she wanted. She wanted her shoes that I didn't know were under the bed. The shoes she hasn't worn in a year. I grabbed those shoes and threw them in the trash and told her there... There they are where they belong just like her. The mask slipped and she beat me against a wall and split my head open and violently hit me in the face like a man in a boxing match. She went to jail. Who apologized? Who heard all the stories of what I did wrong? Who took all that blame? Who begged like an idiot to have her come home? The things we do. The mask slips and if you aren't ready to follow through with being done you pay the price.
Exactly what happened when i had my last son the narc answered the phone and bad mouthed me and told me he was out with his new supply today hes sitting in jail because of the new supply and his own narcissistic behavior 😅 woo wee im so glad i survived the abuse
This happened to me 3 times, 3 c sections. He was worried about sex and didn't care of my healing. He even left a day or two and I couldn't care for kids after having c section.
My 50th birthday party. He didn’t show up. Offering to help me buy some land: he told me what to offer 40,000.00. I offered the vendor 30,000.00. They accepted. I told my partner the good news he told me: “I’ve changed my mind, ask someone else”. ‘I don’t see why I should do it”! He immediately then proceeded to spend 60,000.00 renovating his 2.5 metre square bathroom
I was going into labour at 3 am my ex-narc was verbally abusing and cursing me out I had to call the ambulance to the hospital meanwhile he chose to stay sleeping at home even though the paramedic told him he had to be there knowing that I'm going to have a complicated one. Nope, he showed up after everything at the end of the day acting as if nothing happens 😢
I did not know the guy was a narcissist, but after your videos including this video, I now understand that the guy I was dating for four years was never available for me. Specifically, when I had called him because I was having a panic attack and called him to take me to the hospital, I thought I was having a heart attack - he said, "Call Debbie (my friend)." I never forgot his response and I was in shock because when he needed my help I would help him no questions asked - I was there. It took me four years to leave. I finally left, I decided to do what he was doing, which was he started to hang out with women he called his friend(s), and when I asked to join him in the activities with his female friends, he would say, "Don't you trust me?" I decided to do the same and when he would call me I would let him know I was hanging out with my guy friends, I would have my guy friends say hi to him on the phone - this messed with his head (that was the plan LOL). After that, he called me to hang out with him BUT I told him, "I'm sorry I am going out with Tom, remember him, my friend!" He went crazy accusing me of cheating blah, blah, blah...I hung up and never spoke to him again. Fourteen years later, recently, he called me to talk shit - I have been thinking about you...have you been thinking about me. I said, "fuck no, I have not thought about you. You miss me after fourteen years? and I hung up. He continued to call me for 2 years, on my landline (which is listed) on different days and different hours, thank God he had no way of getting my cell phone number. He thought that I would want to see him again NO WAY he was a fucked up experience I would never want to repeat.
I was pregnant... I had contractions while in pain, he told me to turn off the tv and focus on my sleep... And he slept like a baby until dawn 😃 In the morning he said excuse me I had drunk too much that's why I slept. alcohol was his excuse for all his bad behavior...
Yes .this happened to me when my mom got sick and died...i told him she is sick ..he didnt ask anything the next day...and when finally she died..he said everyone died evantually😮
For the past several months I’ve been dealing and battling with a narcissist in my life. Your videos on the subject of narcissism have really resonated with me. Each of your videos acted like a strategy guide to allow me to defeat and deflect her manipulative tactics.
Over 15 years ago, i asked my mom why she treated me badly. She said that she didnt care if i was an adult, she was going to treat me the way she chose to treat me. When i told her this wasnt right. She coldly said, but you let me. I told her that i would no longer let her. She didn't believe me. I have gone no contact for several years now.
His oldest child my son passed away I went through sooooo much stress alone from him and his Narcissistic family no one was there for me… I still hold all that grief and pain
My ex got in trouble and showed his face when he got arrested then the next day was "calm and sorry" for what he did. Now he is creating a narrative that he thinks will make him seem not guilty. It is more than obvious what he really is now and he is crying because he has been exposed for the monster he is. Prayers have finally been answered and I am grateful to God for exposing him and bringing truth to light.
One day before our wedding, he walked 8 km to our rehearsal sat in a corner sweating like a pig, refused to participate , all members of the bridal party begging him to join in . He simply walked away again .I was sooo embarrassed.!! I should have walked away then !!
I experienced every example you have mentioned. I left him after a saw his coldness when I was in pain of my grandmother passing. My pregnancy severe problems just stare at me crying in the hospital bed, I told him live me alone; he didn’t come back in 10 days. Vacation mean character make me feel am ugly and don’t deserve to be on the picture . I can go on and on!
So true, even when I have experienced this , I feel like giving him the benefit of doubt. That’s how they play with you mind by making you question yourself.
My narcissist didn’t even bother showing up for 2 of my birthdays and 1 Christmas. She found a way to ruin all of them by planning other stuff over them and finding a justification for doing so. Out of all the abuse, that particular thing cut deep. She planned a sleepover when I’d been talking about spending a couple of days together for months for my birthday. She spent Christmas with friends and I wasn’t allowed there because she’d already been destroying my character around then and lived with another narc everyone fell out with anyway. That whole thing was just an exercise in brain damage for me. It’s been 5 months now and I’m doing better but I’m still struggling with the PTSD.
When I was in my 30s, I dated a guy who abandoned me in the emergency room because he said it was taking too long and he was hungry. He told me to call him when they released me. He said he was going to find something to eat. I was in pain, vomiting, and terrified, and he just walked out and left me there alone.
This is just so aptly described and all of which i have experienced ….. anniversaries, birthdays have all been ruined !! Just last December , our family vacation was bombed !! And true to words , we did not go at all !!! I have since fallen sick …. Have been diagnosed with secondary adrenal insufficiency….
My little dog was in the jaws of a pit bull., I run and cry bloody murder and the narc husband just stays inside does not hear anything. When I asked why ( which is useless) he answered “ oh, you are always screaming loudly, why is this different” . My dog is ok, and my husband wonders why I love my dogs more than him. Dogs can’t fake love.
Lols, this is so on point, when my parents passed away suddenly. Instead of giving me emotional support, he was more worried that he is feeling left out!
His mask comes of the moment I confront him about anything I found that he did or why he did certain things. HE FLIPS HIS LID!! If I ask for anything at all, even to go to the laundromat, he freaks out totally and screams how many bills there are, etc. There's more but.. UGH.. SCUM BAG.. I hate thinking of the terrible psycho things he does.
@@jbrown2908 I'm trying DESPERATELY but not getting the kind of help I need. I don't want to go to a shelter, I just want to get away and get help starting a life. It's been 30 years of this absolute HE!L and emotional torture plus other things physically. I'm so lost as to what to do next after all the people I've tried to get help from. THANK YOU for asking!
This is a VERY important subject for me. I think I blocked these episodes out of when they show their real selves. I did not want to see! I wanted to stay in my delusion. But see it, I must! It is imperative that I see who they are and what is going on. Thank you Danish. You pinpoint the problem better than just about anyone else!
Standing behind the narcissist in the grocery store line. Mask came off. He was talking real loud about how much time he was waiting so everyone could hear. I thought what a crazy person we all have to wait.
I had Septic Shock, Sepsis, and Pneumonia and in ICU he leaned over where I was lying on a table, dying, and he whispered, “I hope you die.” He meant it.
Absolutely horrible. One time he beat me up and then transported me to an abandoned warehouse. Before we got there he parked by the roadside, hauled me out of thr car and told me that he would kill me and throw my body into the bushes and that no one would find me. At the warehouse, he punched me and made me run while he got into his car and pretended to run me over with several near misses... I have high blood pressure now 😪 Almost done with the divorce.
When i was little, he always made my birthday a spectacle (to humiliate my mother - my parents are divorced since i was 3). Until he suddenly stopped and started "forgetting" my birthday, he also didn´t mind lecturing ME about having to remind him. The 3rd one is the reason, why nobody believes the victims. The abuse almost always happens behind the closed door and as a child, you often can´t rely on the other parent as well, because their soul already belongs to the narcissist. And unlike physical abuse, where everybody can see the scars and bruises, nobody can see the scars on souls of mentally abused people. There is also a number 6 and i see that in my boss at work. When things, nobody can really influence (like a broken machine), don´t go her way, she will become stressed and then, her real self will start leaking out. She will also start throwing the stress to everyone around, so all will take it as personal mission to work as fast as they can, because they now think, they have to. Honestly the more i see, how all people around me are either narcissists, flying monkeys and enablers, i´m already on the verge of leaving. When i finally saw that, i also figured out, why so many newcomers to our workplace /and specifically, our shift) don´t stay. I´m currently also observing a smearing campaign against a former coworker, who decided to leave, but complained about our boss to higher-ups and also didn´t mind defending himself on social networks.
Every single word is so so so true.. my mother has experienced this becoz of my narcissistic father.. i have seen this all the time.. since i was born till now..
My narcissistic aunt almost fainted right at the moment of her son's wedding rituals. Everyone was concerned about her health she took the limelight instead of bride. Edit: She also fainted on a funeral of a close relative and everyone was concerned about her again
That's so true. I'm 60 years old and I've been through it all, all the jobs I've gotten have always made me feel bad, scandals and a lot of mistreatment in every way ,to the point of having none. I'm sleeping in the corner of the living room in a very small bed, I live next to by the beach but since I married him I never go there or anywhere, even to go to the supermarket it's just with him very rare and when I go he always scandalizes to the point of leaving me crying in front of everyone the people inside the supermarket. I've been feeling like a prisoner ,with the worst mistreatment you can imagine .This has been going on for 35 years. Every day I ask God to take me. Too bad I didn't have access to this information when I was single.
Thank you from my heart and soul, I ask God for that every day,I no longer ask to be happy, but to have peace.Thank you very much for your kind soul.@@背bせ
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This All Of Your Videos Have Help Me Tremendously. I’m Struggling With Detaching From A Malignant Narcissist He Starting Revealing His True Self Within Weeks Of The Relationship .He Belittles Me Cruely I Continue To Have Contact With Him.I’m Severely Trauma Bonded. Escaping Narcissistic Abuse Is Very Hard And Challenging 😢
My husband's mask fell off once we moved in together. The instances included: reminding him to do the dishes, telling him about a conversation I had with a girlfriend, and asking why he has to visit his mother every day after work. I've now learned that I triggered his sense of unworthiness, unimportance, and lack of autonomy (because he's had to fight for it with his needy mother). These were things I learned throughout our marriage--my husband has a really low view of himself, and he will let his narcissistic family trample on him just to feel valuable from them.
The part about the funeral so true. Mum passed away and at the funeral narc brother acting so sad showing family how much he loves sister taking care of her and when he was by himself started taking selfies. Was so so shocked and he sneered at me because saw I got upset
When our son was born, he had breathing difficulty and had to be rushed to a hospital an hour away. My husband told me that he didn’t think he could raise a handicapped, or less than perfect child. I wasn’t able to drive and he would not let me go to hospital when I wanted to. Thank God my son only had to be there for three days. I was frantic with worry and He wanted to forget his existence. My son was perfect and lived to be narcissistically abused until my ex husband died. Thankfully my son was around 19 and so he has had time for recovery-although still affected as all of us are.
My ex boyfriend was at my c-section but complained a lot during it. It was afterword that I had worry about it alone in our apartment. My Dad passed away and my ex boyfriend said grow the fk up, get over it, and get on with it. He has also send me out the door 🚪 without my medication 💊 that I needed for health reasons. Also, at our son's birthday party he would suddenly get sick. Excuses no way. You are so right no excuses, if they need it they need it now to everything. They also call you the Narcisst. Get you believing this too?? 🤔 💭 Thank you for having this platform to talk and discuss these situations so true.
I was in my first month of pregnancy and we were in Nevada usa where there air has been terrible.. I have pollution induced asthma from too much trekking in India… my partner not only did not care or even show sympathy but actually argued with me trying to disprove my asthmatic condition … that was just the beginning … I had to beg him to do anything caring for me during my pregnancy… he barely cooked … I got no foot rubs … I mean really nothing unless I begged him for it really crazy and completely different than the person I fell in love with…
When I was accused of hurting his dog who I loved dearly, that was my defining moment, of seeing through his B.S 🚩😏🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
Yes to having to "beg" for them to do and go to events you used to go to at the beginning of the relationship... yes to them not being there when you need them and having zero empathy... yes to them wanting you to follow a script, you being a zero, nothing but an actor who must perform a role for them... It's amazing what a parasite mind they are, unconsciously manipulating others by their mechanism of love-bombing then devaluing aggression, making you feel there's something wrong with you if you're needy or weak, instead of dumping them... Be strong, dumb the narc! It's better to be alone than in bad company, and you likely won't be alone forever anyway, and the narc will dump you once they're done destroying you spiritually anyway and you serve no use to them anymore...
I was watching your work for quait some time and I must say: you are amazing, I love your work, how you pass on your knowledge. Of corurse I am watching others, like Dr. Ramini, or Crapychildhoodfairy (I dont know if You did, but you should do a colab with one of the narcissist surrviavors). Thank you for what you are doing. I had narc mother and sister ( I think you can guess how sister was create as narc).I am healing for some time, and watching you and other survivors made me thinking if I could become professional therapist about narc truama nad how to overcome it. I am really trying very hard to help my friends with same kind of persons if I can tell they deffinitly have one in their lifes. I'm not sure if you made a video of how to help others. Once again, thank you. You are one of the biggest reason my life is getting better and better everyday.
Right.. I remember one time I was very far along pregnant. He would get so drunk.. I need to struggle to get him in our home and I would throw up so badly afterwards.. Other time I was getting iron through a drip at doctor.. I was so dizzy had to drive myself there while he was busy getting done for a work function. When I asked him why he don't care when I'm ill...his response "Why should all his plans stand still when I am sick" yes. 0 empathy.. When I got home from the doctor still not feeling well he just left all dressed up.. He had done this multiple times when it comes to his work functions. Other ocassion I would not feel well., hospital in and out.. Complaining to him something is wrong and the doctors don't care.. All he did was ignore me and lay on his phone.. Almost died... 👀
Man....just about all your examples i went through. Medical issues - where was he(epilepsy and job equal rights)? Miscarriage - where was he? I can still remember that evil look on his face the day he rolled his eyes when i brought up that child. And my birthday as im a twin but my twin is not with me anymore so its always emotional. I was so entangled in that web. Being to carring of a person i always felt i was there to help him do to the drama he went through as a kid but you are not here to save them all i realized, sometimes they are here to teach You. Took me years to 'See' it from that angle.
My whole pregnancy, I was fighting for time to prepare for the baby, organizing, cleaning, sewing, knitting. I got half a day because, of course his needs came first. Then, when he saw the other things I had made. He said that I didn't know that you could do that! He would have given me the time if he had known. I thought what difference does it make?!
A narc I know was pacing around in an agitated fashion. She asked me a question through gritted teeth, I didn't realise she was looking for an excuse to go apeshit, so I answered politely and spontaneously. Next thing, she was shaking her fists at me, hair was flying, spit coming out of her mouth and she spoke through gritted teeth, "If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times...." and "if this is going to work out, don't mention blah-blah-blah to me," she'd only ever spoken to me once or twice previously, so the "hundred times" was something of an exaggeration to say the least, but I did see the mask of the narcissist slip, and once it comes off, it stays off.
Just got severe physical abuse from my narc classmate. 16yo, 9th Grade. ThankFully, my teacher is understanding. Reason: I told "No, I won't share my food with anyone today."
Omg that story is what happened to me. I had a scheduled C-section to have my son at the hospital a. My mom knew this way ahead of time. She schedule a trip to Mexico and asked me to wait to have my son. 😮 I thought she was joking! Nope. She went to Mexico and when she got back she was angry I didn’t wait for her to be there. I’ll always remember that.
My father was not there when I was born in the hospital. Yeah I think my mother was not so pleased with that. I think her mood got me depressed into this world. That veil stayed there till I was about 34 years old. Got rid of that via hypnosis regression Therapy. Can recommend this to everyone.
What about when they drink alcohol? My ex, even at the beginning when I thought she was a complete angel, after one glass of wine her personality would change in a dark way. She didn't do or say anything bad, and I can't put my finger on what it was, but it felt like she was a different person and I didn't like being around her. I know some people's personality changes when they drink, I wonder if that's more pronounced with narcissists?
My narc Father left me a hundred and twenty miles from home after having emergency surgery (clot in my lung following shoulder surgery which then meant a 2nd surgery in a week), I had no where to stay so slept on the street for 3 nights after 2 surgeries in a week. In fairness his appointment was more important, he had a swingers party to go to (I really wish that was a joke).
My narcissistic husband abandoned me and went out for holidays trip when I got hospitalised for covid.But the same person prioritised his mother when she got asymptomatic covid. When I had a horrible experience at my workplace, I was in need of help from my husband,but instead he asked his narc parents to join us.Also he booked same resort where he was with his mistress last week for family get-together 😢😢
What I was put through at and right before my mothers passing was a huge shock. I didn't dare cry and was in no way allowed to be in the moment of what was happening. It was attack after attack, even via strangers
For birthdays same thing they did for my kids birthdays. For my birthday too. Same for family vacation, he would suddenly cancel that I am tired, it was a long distance vacation. Then ultimately I resolved all his points, I searched a driver on time, I paid for the driver.
Other time my mother was sick, in hospital. Instead of supporting me he let my go to her but alone.. I drove 60 km to help her.. No support.. When my mother died he grabbed the Bible and all his family phone all the flying monkeys from his mother they bombarded me.. No support when I needed him but afterwards was almost like now he needs to pretend his this supportive husband while he gave support bc his narc mother didn't like my mother.. He would get drunk while my mother is very sick.. At the funeral he would hold me when I cry bc it's infront of people but afterwards when we alone nothing.. After the funeral he would be mean to me when his mother phoned him.. She would still treat me like an outcast.. It is a farcade infront of other people.. When no one is watching is when they abuse you. We'll.. GOD DON'T SLEEP.. His mother also ended up in hospital and passed 6 months later.. I had no idea she was so sick because everything is a secret from me.. It was pure Karma for him.. He had 0 real empathy for me that why his mother was taken away.
What do you think about spiritual narcissist. A narcissist that wears a mask of being spiritual, enlightenment and appeasing wise but behind that mask thete is a evil, venomous snake. A sort of spiritual narcissism , that is ongoing in spiritual communities these days. I feel like spreading an awareness about spiritual narcissist an another form of covert narcissism will be very beneficial for people not to fall into their traps. And also the false light spirituality that is being present so that individuals in need of healing will find real healers and not fall for spiritual narcissists and scammers under the name of love and light. A humble request to make a video on these topics @danish bashir
These lying snakes can be very dangerous in religious environments. They are great pretenders. Masters at being the center of attention and in control. Pure fake and evil. They love no one.
Or even made me something like food or out of loving kindnesss… just really cold… it took me about 3 yrs to really wake up to this fact with the pregnancy…
Omg.. the birthday party brought me" chicken skin" to remember ...how my sister destroyed and brought horrible trauma to me on mine one year...and each year she reached out to rub salt in the wound. Always huge drama and trauma.
Here is the link to all my best resources:
beacons.ai/narcabusecoach/
I've experienced all that sh... with my narc. mom. Until it was ENOUGH. I didn't visit her since six years. Never want to be alone with her in the lions cage😡
My twin daughters both have nasissist boyfriends one is Covert and the other grandoise. They both brainwashed my twin girls so bsd they believe them they say I'm so bad of a mom and grandmother that I haven't been allowed at their house to see them and my grandkids. My Son in 2021 ask my daughter if he could stay a few days until he left up north to work. The boyfriend said noone was staying there and he dropped him off at the corner store. A few hours later my son was robbed and killed in march 2021. Then I lost my daughter in July 2021. And then me and my mom got covid. We had plans to go bury my children up north . we never did make it back to Mass .we were in the hospital and a week later they finally told me my mom was only two doors down. She died an hour after they took me to her room in August of 2021. The day my Mom died my daughter and her nasissist boyfriend were there in the room. After she died i was so broken i pulled out my ivs and left the hospital. The boyfriend wouldn't let me in the house so they dropped me off at a hotel with all my moms belongings and wept by myself for months I wept. I lost two kids and my mom in 5 months time and he had no empathy at all. I don't get to see my grandkids or kids . I said to my twins I was shunned from the family. I had no emotional support during this grief I'm still in. And I'm also grieving them and they are still here. When I do call them if they pick up they call me "Bro" we are busy . we work. I said first of all I'm your Mother not your "Bro" and it never stops . I had empty nest syndrome when they left home and that was bad enough. But now..I don't even have a nest. Thank you for the channel . I learn so much. P.S Just a broken Mom
My husband left without warning after 25 years. God took care of me, comforted me, protected me, brought angels into my life to help me. Him? He totally destroyed his life. I’m sure he “gets it” by now - he can NEVER COME BACK. I have completely rebuilt my life - totally & completely healed, helping others, new job, new house, new car, family intact, friends in my life. I’m SO HAPPY that God removed him from my life at a time when he was on the verge of destroying his. I am free. I am alone - but not lonely! Rest, peace & joy reign. Thank God! 🙏🏼❤️
They will not show up for you! But they expect you to be there for them.
Everything you said is true. I had major surgery. He dropped me off and picked me up the next day. When I woke up from surgery the nurse asked which waiting room my family was in so they could see me. I was embarrassed to say that no one was waiting for me. He would celebrate my birthday by getting falling down drunk or disappearing. When a loved one died he would tell me to get over it. When I was disabled he told me I was faking it. He took my life savings. I was with him for about 25 years. After 5 years of living alone, I am starting to find myself again. I still can't socialize, have deep shame and sadness. Everyone thinks he is great and so nice and I am crazy. Its all my fault. So tired of victim shaming. I see this from "councillors" on RUclips. So grateful you don't do that. Thank you!💐
I had a similar life with my ex. I have now been on my own for 8 years and I am also just now finding myself again, figuring out what it is that I like or want to do. And yes, everyone thinks he is so great and he was somehow the victim in our marriage and I'm just some crazy B!%@!. He's abandoned his wife of 20+ years and his kids but he's such a great guy!
My wife is the same. The older they get, the meaner they get. We had an argument yesterday and to justify her behaviour she claimed she has cancer.... it just never stops with the lies.
@@mamacarrie2350 Glad you got away. I hope you are living a good life. I don't understand how they have such messed up lives yet everyone thinks they are great or at least normal. Mine has a talent for carpentry so he impresses everyone with it but he is also a disorganized mess, alcoholic and spends money on everything that catches his eye so he lives in poverty. But he is great. So sorry your kids had to go through this. The Ns are like an evil unleashed on this world.
@@jbrown2908 Thank you!
@@horiboyablemgtow7842 Good God! How bad can it get?! Mine claimed he wasn't an alcoholic but he was getting dementia! Got back into my home, had me even go to doctor with him but he didn't follow through on scheduled appointments. Figured out he was faking and kicked him out for last time. Just evil. I feel sorry you are still in this situation. Don't ever blame yourself! I did for a long time. Take care of your health. Wishing you a better future.
I am a serious dog lover. When my dogs were old and falling ill and I had to make the gut wrenching decision to have them put to sleep my narcissist would have a last minute meeting or commitment that he just couldn't miss. He would leave me to go through it alone. I had a similar experience when my mother was dying, he went out to dinner with friends and turned his phone off. He didn't want to be disturbed in case she died while he was enjoying dinner. They are never there for you no matter how big or small the life event. He used to tell me " you're on your own" I finally realized how very true that was and got the hell out. Now I am happily on my own.
My ex Narc was the same, I got no support when my Mother passed instead I was expected to be there for them, the same was true when I had to put my beautiful dog to sleep, no support, just put me through hell,they are not,nor never will be worthy of us, we deserve so much better ✨❣️✨
I know one who killed 2 dogs and treated previous pets like crap behind closed doors . Sick people they are
I was intentionally denied the last chance to see my mother before she passed due to transportation, so when the disordered ex husband was called and asked for a ride, he instead raged, guilt tripped and had the audacity to lie and say my mother never liked him anyway, then the equally disordered younger sibling never showed as she said she would to pick me up nor answer any of my repeated calls either. The following day and shortly after she'd passed is when the demonic POS showed up unannounced at my door.
This helps me know it's not all in my head. Everybody says I'm imagining it, or they say, "this is normal, everyone goes through this" but they don't understand the extent that this is happening. That it is not normal. Normal people don't do these kinds of things, and consistently, all the time. Now I know, there isn't something wrong with me.
You woke up! Congratulation.
❤❤❤
good & now leave as fast as possible & never go back,.. it never gets better, once you saw their true nature only worse
@@gigiarmany4332 , So true!
Yup, you've really got to cone here to be understood, being out there, casting a fishing 🎣 line for some kind of support and explanation does little good or only goes so far!
Narcissists' real self gets revealed when they find a new supply and to show commitment and loyalty to them - they push away and hurt their old/present supply with lies and anger.
The mask falls when they are caught red handed lying about something serious and rage and violence ensues in a split second. And when you say "no".
Amen
While since they are also cowards and despite evidence, will not be held accountable and so you will be ghosted and given you the silent treatment.
narc is unpredictable and dangerous, so, be careful when u confront them. once, my narc mom showed up with a kitchen knife pointing at us, wearing an apron 'I didn't say that!!!'. she eavesdropped us from the kitchen but we weren't talking about her. i guess her guilt (she loves to smear campaign me) over-took her emotion.
He actually told me those words. I asked why he didn’t help me or show up for me or defend me. He said, “you are strong and I figure you can handle it on your own.”
My brother in law raped me without touch me with his world. My husband said nothing. I asked him if your brother insult our daughter here also you will keep quite : you will be there non ? That was his answer.
This was a spot on description of what victims can never really describe to others who haven’t experienced this type of severe emotional abuse.
Your comment about how difficult it is to extricate oneself emotionally resonated with me. It’s a horror that has made me afraid to love again. The narcissist is very good at lying and making a pretense of love. Now I have become a little aloof, reserving my emotions, I no longer trust… I verify. I’m lonely sometimes, but I believe this is the best way to keep a monster from entering my life.
Sadly true so, I have zero trust in ppl in whole (including authorities who believed the narc I was married to, these profession within cps and court system were even them fooled, those professions have plenty of NARS ). I have lived alone ever since I left him and this mentally and physically abusive marriage , 14 yrs later I still am not doing ok, I have trust issues a kidnapped son through a manipulated court system and I am still grieving my son he ended up with this abusive creature
Danish, you stir up all the memories. Of the lack that my then husband showed me! You are 1000% spot on! I wish I could have found your Channel sooner. Instead of wasting 27 years of my life. Married to this Monster!
Danish, I feel like we are brothers in arms! I was married to a covert narcissist for 14 years. Her father was an overt narcissist. I went no contact and divorced her over 5 years ago. I feel Iike I will always be recovering. I hate that anyone has to go through this, but you are a blessing. One of the last moments when I started to question everything, she came into the room, screaming at me because she thought I had done something to the power for the vacuum. I was on a ladder. When I told her the gas had run out of the generator, she just walked away. Never apologized, I felt like I had just been in a car wreck.
Every situation is on point especially the birthdays and vacations. For me every situation was sabotaged so that I couldn’t have any fun even though I made all the arrangements. Every single time, I’m done at this point and have gone totally no contact 👍
They are "event stealers"... even at a very young age you will notice this in a narc.
This is the absolute truth. My ex narc didn't even come to the hospital to see the baby. He didn't see the baby until he was two weeks old. I called him several times when I was at the hospital but he never came. I found out he was hanging out with other females the whole time I was in the hospital. I also had severe preeclampsia when I was in labor and the narc didn't even care.
I have actually pointed out that he always kicks me when I'm down. And he has never ever been there during any crisis or the birth of either of our children. And it was deliberate. I literally had to deal with any and every crisis on my own.
I appreciate your insights. I was in a hospital room after a suicidal crisis and the narcissist came in and glared at me and I knew she was angry that I still existed. She left me on my own the night before when I told her I was suicidal. She'd wanted me gone. In the hospital room the next day I saw and felt the cold hard fact. With that particular person, I was aware that I'd once been their scapegoat and that the scapegoating had just resurged. It was worse years later when a partner left me in the lurch after his friend molested me to the point where I had to shove him off me to prevent a forced kiss. When I told him what happened, this partner revealed his true nature by going into a tailspin of self-pity. He moaned that his 'friend' was the greatest and told me I should have sympathy for the guy because of his medical problems. Over time, he's only doubled down on this attitude. That was shattering. I had to square his lack of empathy with what I'd experienced in childhood and realized it was the same thing, covert narcissism. It's been tough but if you can at least recognize it for what it is you can prevent further damage by leaving the covert narcissist.
Thank you for reminding me of how bad it was. I needed to remember right now. Reminded how important it was that I left, and how hard my life would have stayed.
Always ,they must take center stage no matter what event is happening . It was AFTER my brain injury that I was unable to take his abuse. I could feel myself physically slipping away. The final straw was 2 innocent little words, ( after being physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually tortured for 8 1/2 years) he said " You're mean". After all the years of abuse, that is what put the lid on the jar. "You're mean ", he says..... After EVERYTHING I had endured at the hands of this psychopath, after being called every vile name in the book, after rap!@$ me, humiliating me and everything I had given of myself, THAT is what pushed me over the edge. I have been NO CONTACT since. I am healing and on the waiting list for open ♥ heart surgery but I am so glad to be free of this vampire. I still laugh a little because if he never would have said that, I would probably still be there, taking his rotten abuse. Thank God for your healing messages. Praise God I got out alive.
Take care I hope things are better now.
No sweetie, you would have been dead. I hope that everything goes well for you from now on! 🙏 for a good surgery and recovery. ❤
Just omg I had to call cops yesterday on him he’s totally brainwashed my daughter against me please pray for me 🙏❤️
Ill pray for you , my kids and is survived, but it was not easy.
I’m so upset today I feel so alone I pray my daughter sees the light 🙏🤗❤️she won’t talk to me he should be arrested for doing this
@@denisechaoub90I'm praying for you my friend.❤
Thank u all ❤️🙏🏼
narc love to make use of your child to go against you.
That one time, there was many times but there is one that stands out.
She took our rent and bill money and paid the bills of her sister's house to keep them from eviction. She didn't ask me if she could do that, there was no conversation. I was the only one working in both households. It caused our car to be delinquent in payment and subsequently shut off. The rent to be late, the gas and electric to be behind with fees.
I was angry and justifiably so. We argued for a week back and forth. No apologies and she felt like she could make that choice without needing to confer with her partner. She ran off to stay with the sister after I told her to leave. When she came back she thought it would be better.
I waited the week for the money to be repaid and the sister ignored the requests. Then I found out the sister didn't even ask for help, my ex willingly placed our family in almost financial ruin to save a person who had used us for countless things in the past without reciprocity.
So she came back and broke the latch to the bedroom where I was sleeping. I was still angry and I asked her what the hell she wanted. She wanted her shoes that I didn't know were under the bed. The shoes she hasn't worn in a year.
I grabbed those shoes and threw them in the trash and told her there... There they are where they belong just like her. The mask slipped and she beat me against a wall and split my head open and violently hit me in the face like a man in a boxing match.
She went to jail. Who apologized? Who heard all the stories of what I did wrong? Who took all that blame? Who begged like an idiot to have her come home?
The things we do. The mask slips and if you aren't ready to follow through with being done you pay the price.
Exactly what happened when i had my last son the narc answered the phone and bad mouthed me and told me he was out with his new supply today hes sitting in jail because of the new supply and his own narcissistic behavior 😅 woo wee im so glad i survived the abuse
This happened to me 3 times, 3 c sections. He was worried about sex and didn't care of my healing. He even left a day or two and I couldn't care for kids after having c section.
My 50th birthday party. He didn’t show up. Offering to help me buy some land: he told me what to offer 40,000.00. I offered the vendor 30,000.00. They accepted. I told my partner the good news he told me: “I’ve changed my mind, ask someone else”. ‘I don’t see why I should do it”! He immediately then proceeded to spend 60,000.00 renovating his 2.5 metre square bathroom
I was going into labour at 3 am my ex-narc was verbally abusing and cursing me out I had to call the ambulance to the hospital meanwhile he chose to stay sleeping at home even though the paramedic told him he had to be there knowing that I'm going to have a complicated one. Nope, he showed up after everything at the end of the day acting as if nothing happens 😢
Smh. That is truly horrible.
I did not know the guy was a narcissist, but after your videos including this video, I now understand that the guy I was dating for four years was never available for me. Specifically, when I had called him because I was having a panic attack and called him to take me to the hospital, I thought I was having a heart attack - he said, "Call Debbie (my friend)." I never forgot his response and I was in shock because when he needed my help I would help him no questions asked - I was there. It took me four years to leave. I finally left, I decided to do what he was doing, which was he started to hang out with women he called his friend(s), and when I asked to join him in the activities with his female friends, he would say, "Don't you trust me?" I decided to do the same and when he would call me I would let him know I was hanging out with my guy friends, I would have my guy friends say hi to him on the phone - this messed with his head (that was the plan LOL). After that, he called me to hang out with him BUT I told him, "I'm sorry I am going out with Tom, remember him, my friend!" He went crazy accusing me of cheating blah, blah, blah...I hung up and never spoke to him again. Fourteen years later, recently, he called me to talk shit - I have been thinking about you...have you been thinking about me. I said, "fuck no, I have not thought about you. You miss me after fourteen years? and I hung up. He continued to call me for 2 years, on my landline (which is listed) on different days and different hours, thank God he had no way of getting my cell phone number. He thought that I would want to see him again NO WAY he was a fucked up experience I would never want to repeat.
Imagine how very disappointing and scary such a relationship would be? You deserve better.
I was pregnant...
I had contractions while in pain, he told me to turn off the tv and focus on my sleep... And he slept like a baby until dawn 😃
In the morning he said excuse me I had drunk too much that's why I slept.
alcohol was his excuse for all his bad behavior...
Yes .this happened to me when my mom got sick and died...i told him she is sick ..he didnt ask anything the next day...and when finally she died..he said everyone died evantually😮
For the past several months I’ve been dealing and battling with a narcissist in my life. Your videos on the subject of narcissism have really resonated with me. Each of your videos acted like a strategy guide to allow me to defeat and deflect her manipulative tactics.
Over 15 years ago, i asked my mom why she treated me badly. She said that she didnt care if i was an adult, she was going to treat me the way she chose to treat me.
When i told her this wasnt right. She coldly said, but you let me.
I told her that i would no longer let her.
She didn't believe me. I have gone no contact for several years now.
His oldest child my son passed away I went through sooooo much stress alone from him and his Narcissistic family no one was there for me… I still hold all that grief and pain
My ex got in trouble and showed his face when he got arrested then the next day was "calm and sorry" for what he did. Now he is creating a narrative that he thinks will make him seem not guilty. It is more than obvious what he really is now and he is crying because he has been exposed for the monster he is. Prayers have finally been answered and I am grateful to God for exposing him and bringing truth to light.
One day before our wedding, he walked 8 km to our rehearsal sat in a corner sweating like a pig, refused to participate , all members of the bridal party begging him to join in . He simply walked away again .I was sooo embarrassed.!! I should have walked away then !!
I experienced every example you have mentioned.
I left him after a saw his coldness when I was in pain of my grandmother passing.
My pregnancy severe problems just stare at me crying in the hospital bed, I told him live me alone; he didn’t come back in 10 days.
Vacation mean character make me feel am ugly and don’t deserve to be on the picture .
I can go on and on!
So true, even when I have experienced this , I feel like giving him the benefit of doubt. That’s how they play with you mind by making you question yourself.
My narcissist didn’t even bother showing up for 2 of my birthdays and 1 Christmas. She found a way to ruin all of them by planning other stuff over them and finding a justification for doing so. Out of all the abuse, that particular thing cut deep. She planned a sleepover when I’d been talking about spending a couple of days together for months for my birthday. She spent Christmas with friends and I wasn’t allowed there because she’d already been destroying my character around then and lived with another narc everyone fell out with anyway. That whole thing was just an exercise in brain damage for me. It’s been 5 months now and I’m doing better but I’m still struggling with the PTSD.
When I was in my 30s, I dated a guy who abandoned me in the emergency room because he said it was taking too long and he was hungry. He told me to call him when they released me. He said he was going to find something to eat. I was in pain, vomiting, and terrified, and he just walked out and left me there alone.
This is just so aptly described and all of which i have experienced ….. anniversaries, birthdays have all been ruined !! Just last December , our family vacation was bombed !! And true to words , we did not go at all !!! I have since fallen sick …. Have been diagnosed with secondary adrenal insufficiency….
Oh my word !what a shock when mask fell. Real creepy dark eyes smirk
My little dog was in the jaws of a pit bull., I run and cry bloody murder and the narc husband just stays inside does not hear anything. When I asked why ( which is useless) he answered “ oh, you are always screaming loudly, why is this different” . My dog is ok, and my husband wonders why I love my dogs more than him. Dogs can’t fake love.
😢❤
Lols, this is so on point, when my parents passed away suddenly. Instead of giving me emotional support, he was more worried that he is feeling left out!
And every birthday and anniversary was a disaster, either completely ignores the occasion or would have a major fight with someone on the same day!
His mask comes of the moment I confront him about anything I found that he did or why he did certain things. HE FLIPS HIS LID!! If I ask for anything at all, even to go to the laundromat, he freaks out totally and screams how many bills there are, etc. There's more but.. UGH.. SCUM BAG.. I hate thinking of the terrible psycho things he does.
@@jbrown2908 I'm trying DESPERATELY but not getting the kind of help I need. I don't want to go to a shelter, I just want to get away and get help starting a life. It's been 30 years of this absolute HE!L and emotional torture plus other things physically. I'm so lost as to what to do next after all the people I've tried to get help from. THANK YOU for asking!
This is a VERY important subject for me. I think I blocked these episodes out of when they show their real selves. I did not want to see! I wanted to stay in my delusion. But see it, I must! It is imperative that I see who they are and what is going on. Thank you Danish. You pinpoint the problem better than just about anyone else!
Standing behind the narcissist in the grocery store line. Mask came off. He was talking real loud about how much time he was waiting so everyone could hear. I thought what a crazy person we all have to wait.
I had Septic Shock, Sepsis, and Pneumonia and in ICU he leaned over where I was lying on a table, dying, and he whispered, “I hope you die.” He meant it.
😮😮
He might have been the reason why you were sick 🤢 in the first place. I hope you have left him and are living your best life elsewhere.
next time secretly record all his evil whispers and let all his friends listen. if he did it once, he will do it again.
Absolutely horrible. One time he beat me up and then transported me to an abandoned warehouse. Before we got there he parked by the roadside, hauled me out of thr car and told me that he would kill me and throw my body into the bushes and that no one would find me. At the warehouse, he punched me and made me run while he got into his car and pretended to run me over with several near misses... I have high blood pressure now 😪 Almost done with the divorce.
@@freewoman May God bring healing and peace ✌🏼.Keep being strong 💪🏽
A narcissist's mask falls when they don't get their sexual needs met, which is just another example
Yes silent treatment and anger for hours, no matter how often you tell them you’re sick or have belly ache 🤢
All of these resonated,I have experienced all these & witnessed them around me too.
When i was little, he always made my birthday a spectacle (to humiliate my mother - my parents are divorced since i was 3). Until he suddenly stopped and started "forgetting" my birthday, he also didn´t mind lecturing ME about having to remind him.
The 3rd one is the reason, why nobody believes the victims. The abuse almost always happens behind the closed door and as a child, you often can´t rely on the other parent as well, because their soul already belongs to the narcissist. And unlike physical abuse, where everybody can see the scars and bruises, nobody can see the scars on souls of mentally abused people.
There is also a number 6 and i see that in my boss at work. When things, nobody can really influence (like a broken machine), don´t go her way, she will become stressed and then, her real self will start leaking out. She will also start throwing the stress to everyone around, so all will take it as personal mission to work as fast as they can, because they now think, they have to.
Honestly the more i see, how all people around me are either narcissists, flying monkeys and enablers, i´m already on the verge of leaving. When i finally saw that, i also figured out, why so many newcomers to our workplace /and specifically, our shift) don´t stay. I´m currently also observing a smearing campaign against a former coworker, who decided to leave, but complained about our boss to higher-ups and also didn´t mind defending himself on social networks.
Every single word is so so so true.. my mother has experienced this becoz of my narcissistic father.. i have seen this all the time.. since i was born till now..
I asked my Narc adoptive mother to look after my cats as I was in ICU.Instead, she completely looted my home!!!
to narc, 'look after' means 'take whatever u want' :)
My narcissistic aunt almost fainted right at the moment of her son's wedding rituals. Everyone was concerned about her health she took the limelight instead of bride.
Edit: She also fainted on a funeral of a close relative and everyone was concerned about her again
Cruel mother in law.
That's so true. I'm 60 years old and I've been through it all, all the jobs I've gotten have always made me feel bad, scandals and a lot of mistreatment in every way ,to the point of having none. I'm sleeping in the corner of the living room in a very small bed, I live next to by the beach but since I married him I never go there or anywhere, even to go to the supermarket it's just with him very rare and when I go he always scandalizes to the point of leaving me crying in front of everyone the people inside the supermarket. I've been feeling like a prisoner ,with the worst mistreatment you can imagine .This has been going on for 35 years. Every day I ask God to take me. Too bad I didn't have access to this information when I was single.
Thank you from my heart and soul, I ask God for that every day,I no longer ask to be happy, but to have peace.Thank you very much for your kind soul.@@背bせ
Thank You So Very Much
For Sharing This All Of Your
Videos Have Help Me Tremendously.
I’m Struggling With Detaching From A Malignant Narcissist He Starting Revealing His True Self Within Weeks Of The Relationship .He Belittles Me Cruely
I Continue To Have Contact With Him.I’m Severely Trauma Bonded.
Escaping Narcissistic Abuse Is Very Hard And Challenging 😢
Indeed it is hard. Sending you power and strength
Save yourself. Quietly escape. Go total no contact. It only gets worse and more violent.
@@thrivingnow7395 Absolutely True
My husband's mask fell off once we moved in together. The instances included: reminding him to do the dishes, telling him about a conversation I had with a girlfriend, and asking why he has to visit his mother every day after work. I've now learned that I triggered his sense of unworthiness, unimportance, and lack of autonomy (because he's had to fight for it with his needy mother). These were things I learned throughout our marriage--my husband has a really low view of himself, and he will let his narcissistic family trample on him just to feel valuable from them.
Right. This is SO true. This is SO accurate. Thanks for sharing. GOD BLESS. ❤❤❤😊
So right on the disgust for lines and queues.
The part about the funeral so true. Mum passed away and at the funeral narc brother acting so sad showing family how much he loves sister taking care of her and when he was by himself started taking selfies. Was so so shocked and he sneered at me because saw I got upset
When our son was born, he had breathing difficulty and had to be rushed to a hospital an hour away. My husband told me that he didn’t think he could raise a handicapped, or less than perfect child. I wasn’t able to drive and he would not let me go to hospital when I wanted to. Thank God my son only had to be there for three days. I was frantic with worry and He wanted to forget his existence. My son was perfect and lived to be narcissistically abused until my ex husband died. Thankfully my son was around 19 and so he has had time for recovery-although still affected as all of us are.
My ex boyfriend was at my c-section but complained a lot during it. It was afterword that I had worry about it alone in our apartment. My Dad passed away and my ex boyfriend said grow the fk up, get over it, and get on with it. He has also send me out the door 🚪 without my medication 💊 that I needed for health reasons. Also, at our son's birthday party he would suddenly get sick. Excuses no way. You are so right no excuses, if they need it they need it now to everything. They also call you the Narcisst. Get you believing this too?? 🤔 💭 Thank you for having this platform to talk and discuss these situations so true.
Triggering for me but ALL TRUE of my experiences in the past of ‘parental’ narcissism.
I was in my first month of pregnancy and we were in Nevada usa where there air has been terrible.. I have pollution induced asthma from too much trekking in India… my partner not only did not care or even show sympathy but actually argued with me trying to disprove my asthmatic condition … that was just the beginning … I had to beg him to do anything caring for me during my pregnancy… he barely cooked … I got no foot rubs … I mean really nothing unless I begged him for it really crazy and completely different than the person I fell in love with…
I rejected my wife and exposed her mask. I witnessed a Naricistic Collapse, it was like a scene out of The Excorsist
I’ve learnt lots from your channel… thank you.
When I was accused of hurting his dog who I loved dearly, that was my defining moment, of seeing through his B.S 🚩😏🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
we all have that MOMENT!
My every birthday after this person entered into my life got ruined... Every vacation ruined....
You are too correct danish
Yes to having to "beg" for them to do and go to events you used to go to at the beginning of the relationship... yes to them not being there when you need them and having zero empathy... yes to them wanting you to follow a script, you being a zero, nothing but an actor who must perform a role for them...
It's amazing what a parasite mind they are, unconsciously manipulating others by their mechanism of love-bombing then devaluing aggression, making you feel there's something wrong with you if you're needy or weak, instead of dumping them... Be strong, dumb the narc! It's better to be alone than in bad company, and you likely won't be alone forever anyway, and the narc will dump you once they're done destroying you spiritually anyway and you serve no use to them anymore...
I was watching your work for quait some time and I must say: you are amazing, I love your work, how you pass on your knowledge. Of corurse I am watching others, like Dr. Ramini, or Crapychildhoodfairy (I dont know if You did, but you should do a colab with one of the narcissist surrviavors). Thank you for what you are doing. I had narc mother and sister ( I think you can guess how sister was create as narc).I am healing for some time, and watching you and other survivors made me thinking if I could become professional therapist about narc truama nad how to overcome it. I am really trying very hard to help my friends with same kind of persons if I can tell they deffinitly have one in their lifes. I'm not sure if you made a video of how to help others. Once again, thank you. You are one of the biggest reason my life is getting better and better everyday.
Right.. I remember one time I was very far along pregnant. He would get so drunk.. I need to struggle to get him in our home and I would throw up so badly afterwards.. Other time I was getting iron through a drip at doctor.. I was so dizzy had to drive myself there while he was busy getting done for a work function. When I asked him why he don't care when I'm ill...his response "Why should all his plans stand still when I am sick" yes. 0 empathy.. When I got home from the doctor still not feeling well he just left all dressed up.. He had done this multiple times when it comes to his work functions. Other ocassion I would not feel well., hospital in and out.. Complaining to him something is wrong and the doctors don't care.. All he did was ignore me and lay on his phone.. Almost died... 👀
The new baby can also be competition.. pulling attention & supply away from them ...😖
Man....just about all your examples i went through.
Medical issues - where was he(epilepsy and job equal rights)?
Miscarriage - where was he? I can still remember that evil look on his face the day he rolled his eyes when i brought up that child.
And my birthday as im a twin but my twin is not with me anymore so its always emotional.
I was so entangled in that web. Being to carring of a person i always felt i was there to help him do to the drama he went through as a kid but you are not here to save them all i realized, sometimes they are here to teach You. Took me years to 'See' it from that angle.
One hundred percent accurate.
My whole pregnancy, I was fighting for time to prepare for the baby, organizing, cleaning, sewing, knitting. I got half a day because, of course his needs came first. Then, when he saw the other things I had made. He said that I didn't know that you could do that! He would have given me the time if he had known. I thought what difference does it make?!
he was cheating on you with a virgin
Thanks Danish!❤⚘
Your channel is awesome!
Learning with your videos!😊
A narc I know was pacing around in an agitated fashion. She asked me a question through gritted teeth, I didn't realise she was looking for an excuse to go apeshit, so I answered politely and spontaneously. Next thing, she was shaking her fists at me, hair was flying, spit coming out of her mouth and she spoke through gritted teeth, "If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times...." and "if this is going to work out, don't mention blah-blah-blah to me," she'd only ever spoken to me once or twice previously, so the "hundred times" was something of an exaggeration to say the least, but I did see the mask of the narcissist slip, and once it comes off, it stays off.
Just got severe physical abuse from my narc classmate. 16yo, 9th Grade. ThankFully, my teacher is understanding.
Reason: I told "No, I won't share my food with anyone today."
This guy is good.
Omg that story is what happened to me. I had a scheduled C-section to have my son at the hospital a. My mom knew this way ahead of time. She schedule a trip to Mexico and asked me to wait to have my son. 😮 I thought she was joking! Nope. She went to Mexico and when she got back she was angry I didn’t wait for her to be there. I’ll always remember that.
Thank you so much for your videos. They really help my daughter not internalize her dad's behavior and gives her tools to deal with him.
My father was not there when I was born in the hospital. Yeah I think my mother was not so pleased with that. I think her mood got me depressed into this world. That veil stayed there till I was about 34 years old. Got rid of that via hypnosis regression Therapy. Can recommend this to everyone.
Excellent info, and so true!
This is one of those rare videos that triggered me a bit. I'll come back when I'm further along and face it then.
My sis in law did not even spare my son who was 4 yrs old !! I still hurt when I recall that incident and now it's been 18 yrs since that day!!😱😱😡😡
So many details touched..Thank You for a great job done, again,Danish!
I resonated with all the 9 points you mentioned and appreciate your translation thank you
When he could NOT get what he felt entitled and I refused to grant or give it to him…..I withheld it for Seven years… He became someone from HELL….
All i have experienced repeatedly and end with crying
What about when they drink alcohol?
My ex, even at the beginning when I thought she was a complete angel, after one glass of wine her personality would change in a dark way. She didn't do or say anything bad, and I can't put my finger on what it was, but it felt like she was a different person and I didn't like being around her.
I know some people's personality changes when they drink, I wonder if that's more pronounced with narcissists?
My narc Father left me a hundred and twenty miles from home after having emergency surgery (clot in my lung following shoulder surgery which then meant a 2nd surgery in a week), I had no where to stay so slept on the street for 3 nights after 2 surgeries in a week. In fairness his appointment was more important, he had a swingers party to go to (I really wish that was a joke).
😢
Each n every word is true .
My narcissistic husband abandoned me and went out for holidays trip when I got hospitalised for covid.But the same person prioritised his mother when she got asymptomatic covid.
When I had a horrible experience at my workplace, I was in need of help from my husband,but instead he asked his narc parents to join us.Also he booked same resort where he was with his mistress last week for family get-together 😢😢
I'm so sorry this entity happened in your life.
What I was put through at and right before my mothers passing was a huge shock. I didn't dare cry and was in no way allowed to be in the moment of what was happening. It was attack after attack, even via strangers
For birthdays same thing they did for my kids birthdays. For my birthday too.
Same for family vacation, he would suddenly cancel that I am tired, it was a long distance vacation. Then ultimately I resolved all his points, I searched a driver on time, I paid for the driver.
Other time my mother was sick, in hospital. Instead of supporting me he let my go to her but alone.. I drove 60 km to help her.. No support.. When my mother died he grabbed the Bible and all his family phone all the flying monkeys from his mother they bombarded me.. No support when I needed him but afterwards was almost like now he needs to pretend his this supportive husband while he gave support bc his narc mother didn't like my mother.. He would get drunk while my mother is very sick.. At the funeral he would hold me when I cry bc it's infront of people but afterwards when we alone nothing.. After the funeral he would be mean to me when his mother phoned him.. She would still treat me like an outcast.. It is a farcade infront of other people.. When no one is watching is when they abuse you. We'll.. GOD DON'T SLEEP.. His mother also ended up in hospital and passed 6 months later.. I had no idea she was so sick because everything is a secret from me.. It was pure Karma for him.. He had 0 real empathy for me that why his mother was taken away.
What do you think about spiritual narcissist. A narcissist that wears a mask of being spiritual, enlightenment and appeasing wise but behind that mask thete is a evil, venomous snake. A sort of spiritual narcissism , that is ongoing in spiritual communities these days. I feel like spreading an awareness about spiritual narcissist an another form of covert narcissism will be very beneficial for people not to fall into their traps. And also the false light spirituality that is being present so that individuals in need of healing will find real healers and not fall for spiritual narcissists and scammers under the name of love and light. A humble request to make a video on these topics @danish bashir
I've been a victim of this. Yes I agree. People need to be aware of narcissistic religious leaders.
These lying snakes can be very dangerous in religious environments. They are great pretenders. Masters at being the center of attention and in control. Pure fake and evil. They love no one.
He’s never bought me a single gift unless I’ve asked for it… so weird this relationship has been..
Or even made me something like food or out of loving kindnesss… just really cold… it took me about 3 yrs to really wake up to this fact with the pregnancy…
Danish, you’re a Superstar!
It’s amazing how some people are bottomless pits like this.
When I caught him cheating when I was mentally and physically ill.
Experienced every single point ! Worst part is he used God to reel me in !
Omg.. the birthday party brought me" chicken skin" to remember ...how my sister destroyed and brought horrible trauma to me on mine one year...and each year she reached out to rub salt in the wound. Always huge drama and trauma.