THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #18 - The Man Upstairs
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- Опубликовано: 1 май 2017
- THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #18 - The Man Upstairs
MAG018 - Case #00812120 - Christof Rudenko
Statement regarding their interactions with a first floor resident of Welbeck House, Wandsworth.
The Magnus Archives tells the tale of an ordinary guy who encounters some problems with their reclusive upstairs neighbour, particularly when it comes to trying to sell their property.
Starring: The Archivist - Jonathan Sims
Writer: Jonathan Sims
Director: Alexander J Newall
Editors: Alexander J Newall, Mike LeBeau, Murray Porter
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The Magnus Archives is distributed by RustyQuill.com and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International Licence. 
Развлечения
"It opened it's eyes"
Weird, but ok
"It opened ALL it's eyes"
OH HELL NO
I wonder how many eyes it had
@WhomItMayConcern nah bro, im thinking a minimum of 9
@@pen7200 the eyes of nine, one MIGHT say?
@@averagejoe1468 bro
@@averagejoe1468 bro
My dude Christof's got hands-down the most original "how did you become a vegetarian ?" story. Kudos to him
I would too
@@midnights2631 Tell us ?
i think they mean they would become a vegetarian too @@macabrecitrus2127
"never buy a ground floor flat," i hear jon say as im lounging on my couch in my ground floor flat. i am now warily lounging on my couch in my ground floor flat
well at least *my* upstairs neighbours are lovely fndkfllgl
Ground floor flats scare me but I had to get one for a while aahh
Same, bro
Same. I also never heard or saw my upstairs neighbor. Although the weird smells are rare
I like to think that the background music is all in-universe and Jonathan just adds it in to make the statements more dramatic
Omg
Lol
I can't *not* agree with this.
PLEASE
Given he actually makes a scary voice while reading, I wouldn't put it past him.
This story doesn't even need to go any further than an upstairs neighbour hammering non-stop for an hour or more. A true nightmare.
Especially when they do it for several days in a row...
reminds me of the time my next door neighbors were having roof work done. There was lots of hammering, it was very annoying. Went on for like 2 weeks.
I'm getting worried about Martin
Yeah, kinda seems like he's either dead or being like reprogrammed
Haha. You should be
@@elvingearmasterirma7241 >:3c listen and you'll find out
@@TheJackOfFools or stuck in his room
Me too and the comments don't help
My favorite kinds of horror stories are the ones where everything is believable, but there's something just a bit off. This one hit the nail right on the head, and into the hanging meat.
I do wonder why the other people in the building didn't say a thing. Were they all afraid of the upstairs man too, or did they just get used to the smell too ? Intriguing
@@macabrecitrus2127 my theory is that they’re the ones supplying the meat 💀
@@elliotsmelliot FUCK, YOU DID NOT HAVE TO CREEP ME OUT LIKE THAT
@@a.b.6689 now, the real question is, were they complicit and buying meat for him? or were they the meat?
@@elliotsmelliot maybe both. We all have more than enough limbs. Don't we? We do.
"never buy a ground floor flat"
me sitting in my top floor flat: heck yeah
you should be more concerned if you're top floor ceiling starts leaking. What's even worse? Blood coming through the floor.
... "far more prone to break-ins" me who has a fear of intruder: oh nooo
I'd be worried about fires tho
Me sitting on my ground floor apartment: o no...
@@Luna_Buna I will never sleep again, thank you. No but seriously, this would be an AMAZING story
Not gonna lie, I was expecting it to be just covered in blood. Somehow, meat is just that much worse
Fr, like blood-covered rooms are done a lot in horror, but meat? It’s just so weird and disgusting, it feels wrong.
What, you don't have a meat room?
@@vivecthepoet36 Ikr? What a Buncha noobs amiright?/Nsrs/J
It's especially disgusting that it's in a flat, and not a refrigerated kitchen or storage room.
Blood is basically foul smelling fluids that would dry. Meat rots.
This episode of The Magnus Archives is brought to you by Blue Apron! Get meals delivered directly to your flat, and they won't question you if you only order meat!
there is a pipe bomb in your mailbox
WHY
I was listening to a similar horror podcast called “darkest minds” that had an underlying story about cannibalism, and they had a “blue apron” ad before EVERY episode about cannibalism 😭
IS MARTIN OK?? GET THE PERSON WHO SAW PEOPLE DIE IN HER DREAMS TO GO SEE IF MARTIN IS OK.
Not that important but the statement giver was a guy!!
Despite how gross this one was, I just found the idea of a bunch of meat nailed to LITERALLY everything to be hilarious.
its hilarious until it's rotting and leaking over your own flat
The concept is funny, the execution and the imagery is not.
@@ahorribleterribleperson *cough* Communism *cough*
@@ahorribleterribleperson
Wouldn't it be cool if my walls are meat?, Itll be squishy and hilarious when people come in and see it
Oh no, it started rotting, it's nailed to the walls so I can't remove it, ill just stack another layer
Oh no the rot smell is so bad, ill just ignore it
Oh no a meat bone monster came to my flat
Oh no
@@sipolina625I must admit, this comment made me chuckle out loud. Meat wall
This is "beat the meat" to a whole new level
Dann Hoff out of all the things to make me choke while I’m eating it was this comment instead of the video
Thank you Dann Hoff, you made me laugh.
"nail" the meat
the viscous, thick, off-white liquid that got on the jacket..
Okay so remember that episode about a serial killer father and his kid? How they never found the bodies?
They don't know where the meat came from in this one, or maybe the bodies are connected to the teeth in "thrown away"?
That's a very interesting theory.
Why not take it a step further. Maybe the monster that hunted the kid is also the same. We don't know where it went after it left the flat.
Yeah I also thought abt that 👀
Ooooo awesome! And don't forget piecemeal. This story has some similarities
😳👀 I was going to ask what y’all think the meat monster is, this is one hell of a connecting theory!
hey no spoilers but just warning you: *dont watch this while eating.* especially if you get queasy easily, or have apetite issues.
I *really* wish I had seen this comment before making a quesadillaD':
@@emh.1178 ooof. rip my friend
I read this comment, ignored it, then grabbed a bowl of goldfish. I regret everything
@@dillonordallas8918 another added to the record of poor souls who did not heed the warning. rip
I had a little issue, but still ate. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
tbh when he started describing the smell and talking about the dude smoking i was like "chill its probably just weed"
I don't know _what_ weed you are smoking but I definitely wouldn't describe the smell of most weed as...
*checks notes* "a rotting chicken breast on a rain damp pavement now baking in the sun."
HEY ITS ME FROM 20 MINUTES IN THE FUTURE HERE TO WARN YOU TO _STOP EATING_ DURING THIS EPISODE.
i know this is old, but thank you so much, was bout to eat lasagna and im so fucking glad i didn’t-
Wish I'd read this the first time around
🤢😭😭😭
I wish I listened 😭😭😭
oh wow yum im gonna eat this chicken sandwich whole while listening
this is my favorite episode, as an interior designer, I appreciate the choice of a nice accent wall... on every wall... made of meat. Very interesting design choices, I will take it into consideration the next time I design an upstairs flat.
Remind me not to hire you. But i know this guy..
The final line of “where did he get the meat?” Sent chills down my spine, this one is a spook for sure
*munchies on chicken, gets to the end* Oh gross... This archive was even more disturbing than the last one! *continues eating.* Okay time for the next one.
Yeah, working for OSHA one tends to develop a stomach of steel.
@WhomItMayConcern Ummm well you know that scene in Deadpool 2 where Sugar bear gets sucked into a woodchiper? Well they are a lot nastier in real life.
@tomz Occupational Safety and Health Administration. IE I hear about all the "fun" ways people injure and/or die at work. >.>
This comment doesn't fill me with confidence about the cleanliness compliance of the average food preparation building
Me, a picky eater, easily disgusted, listening to this while eating fish: I see no problem here
Fish is meat
Everyone seems to be talking about being unable to eat food because of the meat discovered in the flat, but no one is talking about how vividly the odor is described in the story. Meat smells are very... disgusting. If it's fresh, you're not supposed to smell anything. But when it's old? When the white chicken breast is slightly yellow, and the fat attached even more yellow? When that cut of steak starts to turn brown? Seafood is also bad. It gets slimey. It stinks. Sometimes I can't eat yogurt because rotten raw chicken smells like warm yogurt. I wouldn't be unable to eat from this episode just because of its physical description. It's the memories I have of those odors.
For context, my first job was at a butcher's block. I worked the counter, worked a closing shift, but that meant I was cleaning a lot. Once in a while, we'd clean the entire meat counter and beneath the panels of the meat counter, I'd find old bits of meat. Shrimp especially would fall to the bottom because they would sit on ice, yet the ice would melt throughout the day. I'd always find old, yellow shrimp at the bottom. It'd ooze. Disgusting.
So for all that to ooze through the ceiling and fall down.... I wasn't surprised that the man threw up. I had a hard time trying not to throw up. If I was the one who walked into Toby's apartment, I would have automatically turned vegan and never gone back. In fact, I think I'd rather burn off my skin and lose my sense of smell entirely rather than have to touch and smell that meat pile
As someone who was traumatized by Little Nightmares when they were younger, I can say with confidence that I want to eat nothing again in my entire life
Mmm, delicious gnomes.
Getting nervous because jon is finally admitting to being worried
This had me feeling ill in the end, and I coughed and gagged a bit, but please take it as a compliment! I have a hard time getting into podcasts, but with a transcript, I'm loving all of it so far!! I'm so excited/nervous to know where the meat was coming from, and what's going on with Martin. :O
I think he was trying to destroy the thing with many eyes by ripping pieces of it one at a time and nailing them, but he never managed to bc it was continuously regenerating
“never buy a ground floor flat”
me, living on the ground floor of a flat: suddenly i cannot hear
edit: ive also noticed odd stains growing on our ceiling and hear a repetitive banging sound from upstairs during the night.. never properly met the neighbour, all i know is that they’re a man who’s rather recluse. doesn’t help the fact that smo died in that flat years ago and no one knew until a week or so later
Time to move
Uh oh
Have you been noticing spiders?
Okay that edit actually sounds like the start of a statement oh god
have you found the meat house yet
The most fantastical part of the story is buying your own flat close to London at age 34.
i have a feeling martin just might never come back
oh well. such a shame, really. how sad. cry cry, sob sob. we'll miss him.
OUGH FUCK I JUST LISTENED TO A FEW EPISODES LATER IM SO SGORY MARTIN I LGOVE YOU
@@dogwithpropellorhat hahHAHAHA
Nooooooo
@@dogwithpropellorhat character development
Now that's what I call a "Meat-Cute"
iZombie season 1 be like:
This kinda vaguely reminded me of that junji ito story with the oil. Like the smell gets worse and worse just like the concentration of oil in the air and toby is overtaken by the meat like the dad and brother are overtaken by oil
Glyceride!
Yeah, it totally reminded me of that too.
I think Ito inspires a lot of these. :D This one reminds me of a Doctor Who episode, too, where aliens live in a flat upstairs, causing a stain in the downstairs ceiling.
@@victoriaweasley1115 YES!!!
I’m starting to get a little concerned... Not because these are bad, but because these stories, for lack of a better word, have been getting “worse” in their severity and my curiosity in finding out what happens next. Half of me is loving these, but the other half is either severely put of or even grossed out, or is worried about my ability to sleep. Arachnophobia was certainly the creepiest so far
Really? Ghost spiders?
@@PrincessX-ke8tj people find different things creepy or scary, it depends on the person. Personally I don't find any of these episodes especially disturbing or scary(by that I mean they are all equal to me). The most I have been scared was Lost John's cave.
Arachnophobia was SO BAD :((
@@ahorribleterribleperson I also found Lost' Johns Cave very disturbing, especially the recording at the end.
I can proudly say arachnophobia did not scare me at all. But lost Johns cave and across the street......
I like the idea that Jon acts all dramatic while reading these bc he likes to and Alias once asked him why he did it; to which he replied "...not a word"
Tbh I can definitely see Elias asking s1 Jon why he did dramatic readings. Just for laughs
“Never buy a ground floor flat. It may seem tempting if you’re tired of dragging stuff up three flights of stairs-“ this is hilarious to me because I’m in an apartment where the apartment building is on a hill. I’m officially on the 1st floor, and when you walk in from the front I’m on ground level, but there are two floors of apartments beneath me. I STILL have to haul things up 3 flights of stairs from the parking garage, AND I live on the ground floor
Martin sweetie... are you okay? we’re starting to worry.
Me, reading all the comments warning me not to eat while listening: oh yeah I should make myself dinner
Realest I was eating ramen while listening to the whole thing just fine and now looking through the comments for theories instead seeing everyone almost throwing up and gagging even without food and I don't get it
Something else that is annoying with ground flats: if you have a garden every single insect will come into your apartment! Everyone can see you! It’s colder!
Ah yes. A story that capitalizes on my fear of rotting flesh and old people.
bad bad episode to pick while making dinner
I love when silly concepts for spooky stories can be delivered in a genuinely creepy way.
That said...I think I would have called the police much earlier. People die alone all the time. How that thought hasn't occurred to the character boggles my mind.
This was a bad episode to listen to while eating a quesadilla;-;
Something about rotting food gets to me, and this episode hits that on the head!!! very good!!!!
This is my fourth play through of the entire seasons and holy cow, the amount of time and love that goes into each episode is phenomenal!
I’m blown away guys, I really am, every time!
dont you hate it when the guy who lives above you nails an absurd amount of meat to their walls, floor, ceiling, and furniture? smh. way to mess me up on a tuesday🙄
Martin keeps catching stray shots 😂
I think I might be a vegetarian now.
So far, this episode was the first one to make me feel genuinely sick. All others (except Arachnophobia, that shit was hilarious) were scary, but this one made me sick
this isn't the episode that's targeted at my fears, but it certainly validates my opinion that neighbours are the worst. just when jon started talking about the hammering from toby, the three kids upstairs started running around and screaming. and their fucking dog always howls me awake.
This reminds me of the Lovecraft story Cool Air
Is this the one Lovecraft wrote because he was afraid of ACs?
Unicorn Illuminati yes
M e a t P a r t y
Ooh. I need to go re-read that.
My man Toby has an interesting taste for interior design
Martin being still sick is starting to worry me.
I’m at 15:37, I love eating meat, and I hate/am afraid of vomit. This is incredibly disgusting and nasty and I’ve had to pause so many times to regain my bearings, it was so terrible. Great work guys! ❤️
O.....M..... G.... This is horrifying!!!!!! and I still wonder where the meat monster went....
For some reason it always reminds me of that split second scene in DON’T HUG ME I’M SCARED episode 1 where the fleshy bloody thing squirms into a small hole in the wall...
What if the meat was from the all the murders that the father several episodes back had committed, and that the meat monster is basically the leftovers of the bodies of the cult members who weren’t nailed to the wall, and the reason that their was so many eyes was because it was comprised of distinguishable organs that probably shouldn’t be nailed to the wall, I also have a feeling that the man who nailed the meat to the wall had read one of the books that Jared Key seemed intent on hunting down
A Loves cats eyes seem to be a recurring motive anyway so that would make sense
@@alovescats4104 There is a theory given in a later statement about what happened, but it's not til S4.
Potato soup with bacon and ham. I had to be eating potato soup with bacon and ham while listening to this.
that actually sounds really good ngl
@@tearez13 Yes, but not when hearing about rancid, white chunky liquid and rotting meat hammered to walls
@@MT-kx7ff tru
The second I started eating my chicken he began describing the room
John: I'm glad I had my lunch before this.
Me, eating dinner with fermented food: Lucky you, John. 😢
I lessened to this while eating. Mistakes were made.....
This is a whole slab of content worth chopping through! The guy didn’t seem like a real meat and great kind of guy... :D
Just discovered this series yesterday. Am VERY glad I found it. One of the BEST so far ...
be well
Be safe
Be happy
Fr across the waters
Canada 🇨🇦
🐥🐥🐥hugs and all that shite
My friend has kept warning me that 18 would be a "meat episode" and yet I was wholly unprepared for this. I gagged.
Apartments always seem to come with neighbors who spend all their time hammering things or dropping marbles all over the floor.
I really made it through 17 episodes before realizing this was all fiction.... damn
Bro…
you thought bags of teeth, people seeing others die in their dreams and it really coming true, hospital burn survivor who turned to ash, man turning peoples bones around and more were REAL?
@charliebeare2615 I thought he was reading real submissions from people lmao. Doesn't mean I thought the stories were true 😂
@@MisterBuchanan93 ohhh! that makes more sense
I’m starting to seriously worry about Martin
Me at 8:03: . . . It's meat in the envelope, isn't it?
Me at the end: D:
Nasty room mates are really the worse right???
I had a few barracks mates that had NO hygiene and just opening the doors to their rooms was always a horror show every time. Not quite as this story of course but it really made me flash back with all the grossness lol
You don't understand how scared I got when the video started glitching.
I actually feel nauseous 🤢 well done!
Flesh
Well, I ate my dinner during the statement. And I regretted it
Whoops, you found a Tzimisce ghoul.
Well, darn- I haven't even gotten into the episode but this coupled with all the other comments gives me a good idea what I'm in for. :D
I actually fell asleep listening to these, that’s never happened to me before
Im still gonna eat my hamburger
Meat manifests in his flat because he’s the flesh’s special little boy
THIS is my favourite story so far!! It's disgustingly gruesome, eerily and raises one hell of questions. Could listen to this stuff for hours..
This is probably my favorite epsode so far (I got to episode 56 and then restarted after a month long break and the realization that it would be best to re-listen to all of this while taking notes)
I bet you one of his GCSE's was drama. He's wayyy too into this.
The worst part about this one for me is that on one of my many relistens I had reached this episode and I briefly left my apartment to check if a package had been delivered, and my ground floor neighbor had their windows and balcony door wide open and the most overpowering smell of air freshener or incense was absolutely permeating the air where I had to walk through to get to the lobby. It was almost nauseatingly sweet and gave me an immediate headache and all I could think about was the Meat Apartment I got my package and went back upstairs.
"Never buy a ground floor flat" me in my ground floor apartment: .......... okay
Watch out for meat!
Oh wow finally something that surprises Jon xD what about that delivery though... is that how he got the meat? or did the... thing... produce it? also, WHERE DID IT GOOO
oh my god my next-door neighbours started banging something into their wall just as he started talking about banging. great timing but fucking horrifying-
I remember the first time I heard this, the face of me family member I will never forget.
I work in grocery retail and we have a lot of meat claims that sit in the back and rot when the meat department doesn't come and get them for a while. I know the smell. It is disgusting even on a small level. Its awful. This episode made my face scrunch up like no other. This one got me
Where WAS he getting the meat? 🍖
I like to think that he was making some kind of homunculus. And Martin, who thanks to Resident Evil Resistance I can only picture as Martin Sandwich, I hope he's ok.
Probably the grocery store tbh, I'm just wondering how a shut in could manage the logistics of acquiring that much meat, probably just working on horror movie logic, or maybe going to various food banks
I just got to the end and I’m shaking; where did the meat come from?? Where?? Did it come from?? Why does this make me so uNEASY??
At the beginning it reminded me of this one episode of doctor who with james cordon
Oh my gosh you're so right!
i found this one kinda funny because starting about three years ago the apartments i've lived in have had an upstairs neighbor that would constantly be hammering. the sound starts from the walls and works its way down to the floor (which would be my ceiling). i've moved twice since then and each apartment has had the same hammering.
He's following you
Seems like the problem was less the ground floor flat, and more the ground beef flat.
spoilers for this episode!
i have now watched first season and i think that this was the scariest one for me. i dont really understand it cos when i rewatched this one it was not nearly as bad as the first time.
im pretty sure that this is because of horrible realisation that he WAS actually hammering meat to walls. Like at first when Cristoff? said the the man upstairs was hammering thing first on the wall then on flour i was like "oh that guy is probably nocking or doing something spooky and not actually hammering that guy is just rationalising as something normal" BUT THEN plottwist He WAS HAMMERING and it was ME who was rationalising as something more normal to horror story.
Hesitantly biting into the rest of my fried chicken😅
note to self: double check the tws for an episode before you try and listen WHILE EATING…
*especially soup*
this is still one of my favorite episodes. its so funny to me and idk why
hey, don't look a gift meat in the mouth!
I love how I got an ad for meat right under this video lol
Have y'all noticed as well, that right in the end, when there's that "something's falling down" noise, the screen lights are flickering? Such a weird detail...
Well, I managed to have a lunch while listening to this. I regret nothing.
i was eating while listening to this😔
I listened to this while eating
Ok but can SOMEONE tell me why the intro and outro music on Spotify for the podcast is SO much louder than the audio itself for the episodes Idk maybe it’s just a me problem lol
Seems to be a podcast issue on spotify in general, same thing happens while listening to Old Gods
Me (mouth full of pasta) at Jon: HAHA WEAKLING
great episode to happen to play while I was looking for some background noise while making dinner...
I REEALLLLLY thought I could get through this one while eating a cold pizza 🤭