Elden Ring Review But I'm a Video Game Journalist
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- Опубликовано: 9 апр 2022
- Coming out in 2022 after being announced in 1981 and scheduled for 2021, Elden Ring heavily rides on the coattails of its contemporaries such and The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild and The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild. From Software tries to breathe new life into their tired Dark Souls formula by stealing from the ever popular format of open world, and fail horribly. Elder Bling is truly one of the games of all time.
Would've been funny if the high intelligence reviewer was trying to cast Incantations with his sorcery staff.
“Write that down WRITE THAT DOWN”
I definitely didn’t try to do this on my first playthrough
definitely didn’t pump intel to use a staff and tried this
@@_jameswhite0705 I literally had to look up how to use incantations, since I thought I was still missing requirements for my staff to use them 🥴🥴 Once I found that out, I just stuck to dual katanas 🤣
@@_jameswhite0705 Do what..0-0
"they copied their homework, yet somehow still got the wrong answers" is such an unreasonably funny line
This is just the Ubisoft grindset nowadays
Well, it's not like other developers do the same thing. **looks at Ubisoft** Right? Right?!
It would’ve been the crown jewel if you called Link “Zelda” lmao
Dammit you’re right
My name is Zelda, Link Zelda.
@@lemiureelemiur3997 "Link? Link who?"
"....Link Skywalker"
Only thing I hate more is when people call 47, "Hitman".
Missed opportunity. Now it seems this video is destined to die in obscurity.
"From start to tutorial boss" best sentence I heard in weeks
while also skipping the tutorial in ER... pure jokes
I wonder how much they played Dark Souls 2, since there's no bosses in the tutorial zones.
Him not getting stuck on the tutorial because he completely misses it is amazing
Pro gamer journalist move.
others get stuck on the tutorial, this one skips it entirely
TBH Elden Ring was my first from soft game and I didn’t know the tutorial area existed until I saw it in a video lol. Still a great game.
@The Leaprachaun Yeah I explored a bunch.
@The Leaprachaun Yeah I know.
The funny thing is in my playthrough I completely missed it thinking it was the "right" way to go, left to go explore with the intentions of going back once I hit a dead end... I didn't go back until well after Stormveil to go into the hero's grave that I remembered was locked behind the stonesword fog
You forgot attacking Varre until he becomes hostile and complaining that he attacks you back, even though he warns several times to not attack him.
This still stands out as the wildest critique I’ve heard about the game very specifically the “varre attacks without warning” claim
This is exactly what an asshole named “Quantum TV” did. Go see The Act Man’s video on it called “the worst elden ring hot takes”
Also known as the Quantum strategy
Oh, hello Quantum
I think it’s more that he waxes you and you spawn next to him where he waxes you. He kind of spawn camps you.
I had something similar when the Beast clergyman attacked and Killed me, I guess he does that after so many roots, and I spawned in the area where he would attack again and either he or the Black blade outside would get me as I tried to get Access to my map lol but it just took a few tries.
If this game is so great, why is it that I had to ask my wife’s boyfriend to beat the main boss of that game margrit, then the game wigs out and doesn’t give me the elden ring at stomveil castle?!
That’s the secret cap. Your wife’s boyfriend already has the elden ring. And once he puts it on your wife’s finger, that’s no longer your maiden
You have to kill him quick or you will never get the elden ring from him
Because Godrick is the final boss
@@NasuPrime Man...
@@obambagaming1467 the final boss is the Soldier of God, Rick. Nasu skipped it because he's a dirty atheist.
“The game won’t even let you craft items or food”
Yup certified IGN moment
IGN gave this game a 10/10 what are you on about 💀
😂 If you miss the crafting kit at the starting merchant, bro, then yup, you will have trouble combining your ‘useless’ gathered materials and your crafting button will be ghosted. And don’t forget to buy / find cookbooks. Pots are a great way for melee fighters to wield magic or use bows with crafted elemental arrows. Nasu’s homework score in Crafting: 0 / 10
@@90mrmacman ign still is ridiculous 90% of the tine
Bro IGN gave the game 10/10
@@jaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bro ign teached players how to cheat in pvp 🕷️
Less than a minute in, and I already wanted to punch you in the face. You did a great job at imitating the jounralist's tone and narrative. Excellent video.
Oi get back in containment
"From start to tutorial boss" is such a true line I'm surprised no journalist really said that.
@@crash-testproductions9341 He said that so confidently, I heard start to finish, I had to go back after seeing your comment and nearly died. This video was so accurate a minute in, I forgot he was imitating a game journalist.
Okay good it was all sarcasm/satire.
Was so confused if it was or wasnt
Except elden ring is rated very highly by game journalists and critics. It has the highest rating among all souls games on metacritic. Ironically the user rating is pretty avg
This is quality work for something surprisingly no one has seen yet. Keep it up, skeleton!
Thanks bro, got some more vids dropping soon
"As a Fromsoft veteran having played all the Armored Core games" would've been such a golden line
This made me laugh out loud.
@@AliIKarimi this made me hate on this video
You could say it would have a been a (lord of all that is) golden line
My first From Soft game actually was Armored Core 3. Didn’t play Dark Souls 1 until a couple years after it launched.
based. thank god we are getting armored core 6. please stop milking the souls series miyazaki-sama!
at first i was laughing, but then i realized, yes, there are indeed people like this, so high on their own farts, they can´t even see the hypocrisy of calling themselves "skilled" or "veteran" gamers while simultaniously showing of they could not even beat a modern pokemon game. History repeats and with every new "hard" game release i get flashbacks to the tutorial pillar in Cup Head
atleast this time it wasn't as bad as it was in sekiro
"I'm a souls veteran but I also flask directly in front of the boss and whine about their input reads"
@@SpeedKing.. Let me introduce you to the reviewer who thought New Super Mario Bros Wii was "old game tough".
"High on their own farts" is not something I expected to read this morning
@@dylo7564 amazing
Finishing it with a high rating caught me completely off guard but was absolutely perfect. What's more game journalist than giving a rating that doesn't line up with the comments on the game?
It has a little something for everyone.
The game lacks depth, difficulty, fun and graphics. Best game so far this year
A moment of silence for the people who thought it was serious
They forgot to level up their intelligence.........duh! :-)
mmmm.. what you mean ?
it's not me clearly 🗿
**bows head and shuts mouth, sadly lets out a loud fart instead** Sorry, I seem to not be able to do a moment of silence here.
it is serious elden ring is a direct zelda copy
Who takes videogames journalists with seriousness?
"From start to tutorial boss" is such a good line
Thank you for this lovely satire.
And thank you for watching! Glad someone appreciated the joke
Oh, the title said it all, that this was a joke. Then again, it becomes very clear within the first minute in, but I looked at the title and thought: "hmm, this has to be a joke, let's see if it is." I loved the bit of the tried and true boss mechanic of die to the boss to progress the game, only to realize that you lose that mechanic. Thus you having to learn and, with difficulty, master the "Run Away!" mechanic.
I didn't know it was satire.
You know what's sad? Even if this a joke it's still a better slander review than from those who genuinely hate this game.
I especially hate the fact that when you face Margaret or whatever his name is, the boss is extremely hard and practically unbeatable. FromSoft just forces you to grind for runes to level up Arcane so you have enough health to beat the boss! Much like in BOTW where you have to obtain enough spirit orbs to increase your hearts! Elden Ring's world is tiny, with lackluster content and impossible gameplay! I know this is a souls game and it's supposed to be hard, but SERIOUSLY?! I'M SICK OF BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL TRYING TO FIGHT MARGARET! Elden Ring is just an unfinished, unbalanced, breath of the wild ripoff in every single way! They even stole GRASS from botw!
I cannot fudging believe that they stole controlling your character with the left stick from BOTW too. It's appalling really
@@denberzfan5759 it seems someone here doesn't know what a "joke" is
@@leif4698 neither does you apparently
Yeah, From Soft didn't even take the really, really great parts of BotW and copy, like all the weapons breaking constantly. I mean you can't even break weapons anymore, what's the point?!?! It's just too unrealistic at this point!
@@karimtohme9195 BRO, DO YOU KNOW WHAT A "JOKE" IS?
The most inaccurate thing here is that journalists would even know that lighting fire in that area is a puzzle that is meant to lead to something in the first place.
Or that they'd get that far before giving up. No way they'd get past the rune bears
@@braith117 If I'm not mistaked you don't need to beat anybody to go there.
Just found this channel and it’s probably already my favorite on youtube lmfao, keep it up bro.
Gotchu
I see you've leveled your sarcasm to 99. You know you don't need anything over 60, right? 80 if you're going for sardonic infusions.
top tier comment
When you started talking about crafting I both died of laughter and died inside because you know damn well this situation has happened
embarrassed to admit that i forgot to buy the crafting kit from kale on my first playthrough
Honestly I didn't know that until just now and I platinumed the game
They probably really do max intelligence while using a sword
Leave me and the other 3 moonlight sword users out of this
I am a proud moonlight greatsword user
I am still questioning why we would need intelligence to use magic and not arcane.
@@andyo5554 Because the Dark Souls games always used the Intelligence stat for regular magic and let’s not kid ourselves, Elden Ring is Dark Souls 4 in all but name. Arcane is an alternate magic stat borrowed from Bloodborne.
@@SunlightGwyn but arcane makes more sense than intelligence because i dont think being smart will aid you on how to use magic.
The fact theres not a single "the darksouls of" joke
Pretty good video
Idk if that joke really works when it pretty much is a dark souls game.
@@revolution2762 thats the joke
@@generic840 so its the dark souls of dark souls games?
@@revolution2762 you could call it the dark souls of open world games
Idk
@@generic840 I mean yeah I guess but I was just pointing out that saying that wouldn’t really be a joke. Since it is made by the dark souls ppl it is literally the dark souls of open world games.
You had me at "I played all souls games from start to tutorial boss" LMAO
this video deserves way more attention wtf, love this ahahaha
Thanks! Gonna get there eventually
"I had to look up a guide online to learn about the run away combat style." Brilliant.
As someone who only found the crafting kit 70 hours into my 80-hour playthrough... I feel insulted.
Do you think it a cardinal sin to google the location of an item
@@NasuPrime No, I would certainly do it for anything important, like a secret area (the Painted World of Ariamis and Artorias of the Abyss DLC come to mind), I just didn't really think much of it. Even after I got the crafting kit, I never opened the crafting menu, as I don't like crafting systems in games and whatever it was that I was supposed to craft, I clearly didn't need it. Edit: RUclips only just showed me the notification for your comment. Huh.
Hands down the best review I've ever heard, 10/10 would hire to review again
"..from start to tutorial boss" 😂
I almost couldn't tell if this was satire or not. You did a hell of a job and I hope this goes viral
maybe you should put points in intelligence...
This is actually gold, the entire tone is perfect and the some of the lines could be lifted straight out of a real review and I wouldn’t even notice
I lost it completely when you said “steaks of America” lmao
Great video, I'm surprised this doesn't have more views.
I appreciate it! Will be uploading more videos soon
Idunno man, all the journalists praised the game as a perfect 10/10 genre defining masterpiece, and blew sunshine up fomsoft's but hole without ever going beyond Stormveil. Which is where the game actually starts showing its flaws.
Fr, Quantum TV really gave game journalists a run for their money with the clown takes
What was wrong with Liurnia? I didn’t really start seeing any noticeable problems until Altus.
@@revolution2762 the entire Raya Lucaria area is just a nonstop magic sniper bullet hell simulator, and the less I say about the hundred yard sniper lobsters the better I think.
Can you, please, explain what kind of flaws this Game have? I am at the stormveil castle at this moment? Does it become repetitive?
@@falconer-ts8fq very repetitive. Aside from the main story locations, all dungeons are almost exactly the same and every mini boss gets reused at least 4 times
God that tutorial, i forgot people had problems find it despite being two objects telling you "There's a tutorial at the bottom of the hole"
Also, nice touch with the Astrologer using a short sword.
Can't blame them for being suspicious in a fromsoft game.
I still find it fucking hilarious that they had to add a pop-up for the tutorial cave because people didn't notice the glowing ghost sitting in a chair next to a giant hole in the floor
Goated pfp for the best and most honest game reviewer ever
Ah, like a true journalist, to be objectively wrong.
"No waypoints"
*also has map that lets you place waypoints*
peak content lmfao
bro flipped the script on me so hard
As any good reputable game reviewing journalist should
"I had experience with dark souls game from start to tutorial boss"
yep pretty much sums up a game journalist lol
Bruh you reached such a high level of sarcasm that it hurts to watch. good job.
the final score is the best xD
Nice video, i'd watch more of such
my guy it just took you 3 vids to gain my upmost respect, honestly you're just insane and funny af, much love bro and keep it up! 😂👏❤️
He somehow managed to lose 7 points of intelligence in his playthrough. This is high level Game Jorunalist skills
This is beyond being even accurate. Wonderful review, subscribed.
Stake of Marika... needs a quick time event!! That was hilarious and brilliant.
Underrated channel IMO 10/10
That’s why I love Elden Ring and FromSoftware games. You think you’re hot shit and then you get your ass kicked and learn how to play the game in order to win.
This video is hilarious!
If you honestly think timing rolls is hard, you better not play actual competitive games.
@@georgemanize tell me one main boss past lunaria where timing rolls is the main way to win
The games really not that hard you aren't cool for playing it
@@elitedonut1089 - All of the games are hard.
@@georgemanize - Really? Do tell.
thanks man this made me laugh. if this was a series i would watch more of it
Something about how you said fully "breathe of the wild" so many times in short time killed me XD
I think I've found your problem: you forgot the intelligence boosting helmet and talismans.
Ah shit bro. Can’t believe I forgot that
That's exactly how I imagine what will my non-gamer friends will react if they play the game. Or any game from FromSoft...
9.5 very disappointing, didn't know how to level up.
Try to put them onto the game anyway
@1:45 I legit laughed out loud at this part! 🤣🤣This is great stuff, funny from start to finish and I needed the laugh. Thank you.
Your satire acting is so good I would’ve thought it was a real review
Wow, 30 seconds in and you're already way further in the game then most journalists
The game also tells you to touch grass at each checkpoint.
So funny my man I needed this with all the other hype reviews and hot takes xD
I've been binging ER lore videos and this popped up. By far the best comic relief after the hours of other great lore content I've sat through.
You gonna answer that phone? I think Polygon is calling.
The souls veteran who played all the soulsgame from start to the tutorial right off the bat XDXD
You really convinced me about being a game journalist. Awesome job
Great vid! It would’ve been cool to have a climbing mechanic too tho
Made me look at the title again after about 2 min. Ya got me for sure. I fell for it. Good job on the vid btw
he got to tree sentinel so he's already more qualified to talk about it than Quantum TV
So glad I found this Channel, it really is a hidden gem haha
Thank you thank you 🤝
Dude same just subscribed too. Hopefully he blows up
Try finger
Therefore Praise the video!
STAKES OF AMERICA
STEAKS** OF AMERICA MAN CMON
Sry my parents specced me faith
It's been years since I had a smile plastered on my face for so long it hurt. Thank you.
Thank you for this, finally some insight into the mind of a game journalist. Who plays games for a living but sometimes don't seem to know the first thing about them.
Your expertise at satire shines in this video. Kudos/Props/I salute you!
The sad and funny part? Some people wouldn't be able to tell that it's satire and believe that the game sucks simply because of this "review". I saw it as the joke it was from the title, had to watch to be sure, and was laughing the entire time. Then again, I laugh at critical reviews, especially when it's clear that the journalist doesn't know what he's talking about.
@@jgkitarelTHIS. I wish they still taught satire in schools nowadays.
Calling a site of grace a “checkpoint”absolutely sent me 💀
I didn't think I would laugh as much as I did. Excellent job !
I need a much longer in-depth review please
Hahaha when you first started I was thinking here we go again…well played
At the first Minute i was so pissed before i got that this is a good parody xD
"From start to tutorial boss"
That just sounded way too real lmaooo.
This was too painfuly accurate, take my like and a fine dark soul to you
That was amazing! So perfectly accurate. I'm so glad you steered me away from this terrible game. You got the score dead on though. LOL 8^) Subbed and I'll be checking back. Thanks for the best laugh I've had this week.
Just spreading the good word brother! Glad you came to see the light
LAUGHED so hard at the "it has a little something for everyone"
"Through complete coincidence" Was the best sutble line that truly made this review high intelligence.
the score at the end killed me.
I feel this in my soul... I have a friend who constantly compares any adventure or rpg game I play to Legend of Zelda. Playing Dark Souls? "This is just Ocarina of Time, you even lock and fight." Playing Dragon's Dogma? "I love how new games just rip off older games like this one does with Ocarina of Time, it's a new Legend of Zelda." Playing Elden Ring? "Ha! They didn't even pretend and just copied the new Legend of Zelda, isn't it funny that everyone just copies old Nintendo games?" If he wasn't my best friend for the last 15 years I would have strangled him to death. Can't even play a shooter without him saying shit like "this is just a copy of Halo or Quake."
I CANNOT enjoy any games with him in the room without getting constant comparisons to older games...
@Edel Tamayo He is to a degree. He is more of a pre 2008 game fan boy? If it was made after 2008 then its gay because they just copied some "better old game." Everything is just an inferior Quake, Half Life, Halo, Legend of Zelda clone or some such and therefore a "gay game."
@@Mac12366 so what's his opinion on Botw since it's made after 2008
@@Fatestringer he is an Ocarina of Time fanatic and the master sword can break... what do YOU think his opinion is?
@@Mac12366 fair point probably not good 😅
Thats where you're mistaken, being a gamer is a disability
Damn, didn't consider that
i haven’t laughed this much at a vid in a while great job fam
Hahah your final conclusion killed me xDDD
Even though I understand your joking I’m enraged and laughing at the same time.
This is too accurate, has Kotaku vibes from start to finish. 😄
The sarcasm here is seamless and exquisite.
It's ridiculous just how accurate this is.
To be honest it wasn’t till I reached level 30 when I realized there was a tutorial, and I’m not a soul‘s veteran at all but I thought it was kind of refreshing but odd that there wasn’t any tutorial but I guess I just thought it added to it
Yeah people losing their mind that fromsoft added a pop up message for the tutorial kinda weird ngl. It’s not that serious. Less people are gonna miss it now. If you’re someone who already experienced the tutorial without the message, cool. No skin off your back
That was more then perfect.
The algorithm brought me here. Less than 10k subs? We need to fix that. I hope more get to see this.
Preciate you 👍
You are underrated af man good video
I still haven't found that last fire to light so you can fight the deer thing. I feel stupid.
Dw I looked up a guide bc it got too annoying so no shame in that
Lmfao, when you couldn’t find the last stone fire place/torch thing so you leveled up your intelligence, that got me so good 🤣🤣🤣 I do think it would be kinda cool if they added craftable food tho, not for like a hunger bar or some bs but so you could just make your character sit down and eat some food while you’re afk or something, just as a random fun thing
Can’t craft some maidens 😔
@@NasuPrime true, it’s so sad :(
Technically you can craft food for buffs, like exalted flesh and boiled prawn, and of course all the pickled stuff.
I’m laughing my ass off at this whole video, especially the opening part about classes
"It does a little something to everyone" :) Reminds me of Dunkey video about game critics ^^ Good video!
Grafted scion was definitely the best boss, everything else just went downhill from there.
Soldier of Godrick tho
@@KyngD469 A unbeatable second best boss for me, def S tier, but nothing can beat Mr. Bad Touch hitting from a 360 degree range you before you even learn how to swing your sword XD
@@waydowndeepinthedisqus5765 🤣
I was getting so angry at this review until I read "announced in 1981", then jokes started punching me in the face. OMG thank you love it.
That's pretty telling of how biased you are... Sure the review is a joke but your reaction was real
@@pascalsimioli6777 Well, watching someone complain about something you enjoy while failing to understand the basics would make anyone angry. It's not about them understanding the "intricacies" or anything, just the complete and total lack of understanding of what they're complaining about. It doesn't even have to be about some you love, watching someone complain about houses being constructed without understanding at all why houses are built would be irritating as heck to listen too. Not really bias
I love how you put the game journalist's favorite game in the end of the vid
I little cherry on top
"Steaks of America"
MY SIDES! 😂😂😂
Honestly, really great, subbed
Ty!
@@NasuPrime no problem