“I don’t trust him with money, so I check his cc accounts”
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- Опубликовано: 11 мар 2024
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Ashley and Christopher, 30 and 28. They recently got engaged and look forward to planning a wedding, having kids, etc. But Christoper has lived with credit card debt his whole life. As an accountant, he feels like he’s got it under control. Ashley worries about what his spending means for their future.
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Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Learning time!
I use your channel as teaching moments for my nieces and nephews.
They will inherit my money so they have to learn money management.
I watch how they manage their money now to decide what distributions they will get.
This guy needs a second job to doing voice work.
Dude could be the voice of darts Vader without any effort
Maybe that should be his primary job considering he call himself an accountant 😂😂😂
Lol first thing I thought. Great voice!
Definitely would be a great career choice.
I hope someone in the film industry is watching and notices the talent here!!
They’ll be ok because they’re having the hard conversations upfront while still young and before marriage. Proud of them for openly talking about the hard things.
Yes, I commend them! They will do great moving forward with tools they are learning. Best wishes to this courageous couple!❤
Agreed, they seem like a great couple who will work together to tackle these bumps in the road! I am rooting for them!
This is such a lovely comment ❤
The difference between Ramit and Dave is, Ramit actually listens to his guests and provides tailored advice.
Dave’s goal is to give easily digestible advice for the average debt-ridden American. Ramit goal is a deep dive into the psyche behind spending for a more sophisticated audience. Neither is wrong and both have their place.
👌🏾💯@@TonyCox1351
@TonyCox1351 Agree, I watch both. Dave gives consistent advice that can be given to a wide audience in 2 minute chunks. Dave has probably helped a lot of people. I value Ramit's personal deep dive. Really useful and insightful.
I think Ramit has a more optimistic message than Dave. Dave also emphasizes the fact that the advice he is giving in hard to implement - sacrifice must be made in order for his plans to work. I don’t feel as if ramit gets that deep in to it, but spends more time exploring the emotional
Key word “tailored “ Dave is a one size fits all
I just paid my last credit card payment of $400 yesterday and god it feels good. In conjunction with a 1 month emergency fund and growing I feel a huge weight lifted off my chest
Now just put a credit card payment into a slush fund and put another into a retirement savings every month and live a great life on a budget but with vacation and enjoying your money.
Now fund your emergency fund, 6 months of money will make you feel secure in case of layoffs.
Nice job!!! You just gave yourself a raise.
Well done. I've been "clean" of CC debts for over a year. It's really helped boost my confidence.
Well done!
This couple received a priceless gift. I wish that everyone had such a conversation before marriage.
Tuesday morning, like clockwork, good morning all
Good Morning. I listen while I drive to work early Tuesday morning. Have a great day
Same, I get so excited every Tuesday!
This is the sweetest couple I’ve seen! I love Ramit’s gentle, but direct approach to this conversation. I think they will go far because they’re having these conversations starting out vs. 20 years down the line.
I love this adorable couple, I see an incredible future for them!
One of the things I love most about this show is that it really shows all of us that we are not all living in the same USA, the targeting of minorities etc that many of us were just unaware of.
In the show Little Fires Everywhere, the Reese Witherspoon character comments to Kerry Washington that she (Reese ‘s character) had made good choices to which Kerry Washington said No, you had GOOD choices!
I think of that often while watching this show!
Thank you. It means a lot to be able to share stories of "hidden America," the one we rarely hear about in the press.
I'm over here clapping and cheering him on when he cut up the credit cards. Tears of joy. Happy for the couple. Good job Ramit! You are changing lives. You were placed on this earth for a reason and you are living it out by helping others. Amazing episodes for young adults.
This episode has been quite the ride so far (not sure what to expect):
1. It's amazing that Chris styles himself the financial nerd and cares about investing, when his knowledge should clue him into the fact that the APR from CC will almost always outpace the returns you'll get from investing. It absolutely highlights Ramit's point about having financial knowledge and not (for lack of a better phrase) being good at personal finance.
2. I completely understand Ashley's distrust of Chris... but she's employing the similar mental gymnastics around their relationships as Chris is doing around why he doesn't want to pay off his CC debt faster.
3. Ashley helping her family by giving money is admirable, but if she lets them, her siblings will leave her broke. She needs appropriate boundaries around her siblings and money. At a minimum, she needs to limit (drastically) how much she gives.
4. This is around the 3rd or 4th time I've seen a couple dance around the topic of ending a relationship/marriage over money. If you're not married yet, it's more than ok to end the relationship over a fundamental incompatibility (even if it's scary or involves ending an engagement). Wishful thinking is only gonna leave you to crappy marriage and eventually divorce.
5. "I don't want to be living to pay off debt" has got to be the most contradictory reason to avoid paying off debt quickly. Completely understand where it comes from, but if it's high interest, it's going to rob you of your ability to live the kind of life you want to.
Seriously -work 2 jobs, 3 jobs, be extremely frugal until you pay off the debt and then you don't have to worry about it any more. Decisions have consequences. I get how he feels but he needs to just grit his teeth and get rid of the debt.
Yea she basically said that she’ll still marry him even though he doesn’t change. It doesn’t seem like a deal breaker to her and that’s just contributing to his nonchalant behaviour around CC debt. He’s right. Why pay off the debt faster when there’s no immediate consequence to his actions 🤷🏾♀️
Your comments are 🎯. I think individual and couples counseling would be helpful for them.
Finally! A couple open to listening and changing their behavior. What a grand gesture cutting up the credit card - I got teary eyed 😂
YES! PLEASE make an episode or discuss how to split rent when one person owns the house and the other rents. Engaged with split finances. Currently the plan is for her to pay utilities and split groceries, which is 25% of what they would pay for rent elsewhere. Then take her 75% and save in her own house down payment high interest savings get "our" own place in 3-5 years. We both separetely would have proportional down payment savings accounts for our house together in 3-5 years.
Yess! Second to this!!!
Watch the episode where the gf was making him pay 50/50 when she was making 3x what he was making 😂😂😂
There are a bunch of ways to handle this that feel "fair." When my husband and I moved in together before marriage, we split groceries/utilities, and he sold his house upon moving in with me. After he sold his house, we agreed that he would pay me the amount he had been paying on his mortgage interest and insurance and he would put the amount that had been going to his equity portion of his mortgage into investments every month. This felt fair as if we broke up, we would both be growing our equity and his housing costs didn't go up despite selling his lower cost house to move in with me. However, we married as older adults and both were used to paying the full amount of our own mortgages prior to marriage. What's fair in your situation my be different. I'm interested to see what Ramit thinks is fair.
I love listening to your show Ramit. I listen to the Ramsey show as well. From my interest and perspective, your show is very unique because you dive in deeper on the human behavior relating to personal finance. The Ramsey finance show only gives callers a few minutes and says counseling is needed. Listening to your show allows the viewers to gain extra knowledge on why we do what we do. Your interviews are interesting and I appreciate your line of questioning as you uncover the deeply rooted reasons why the couple does what they do. ❤You are an onion peeler. Keep peeling! 👍🏼We love and need to hear this.
Thank you for watching!
This is exactly how I felt when he told her to ask him the same question again. He gave a vague answer, and you can see how she lit up when she asked him the question again .
Love this couple. The most authentic guests so far.
Wow what a fantastic episode. This is what happens when 3 smart, self aware people talk openly and calmly about difficult topics. Amazing and so useful to hear. I much prefer these episodes to the people who have no self awareness or personal responsibility!
Totally agree - more like these!!
I loved this episode and how Ramit really got into their mindsets. Some couples I've seen try to resist or anticipate where he is going. This couple I felt let him in and was very open. I think they are going to do well. Wishing them the best.
My fellow Ghana man, I wish you all the light. You two are beautiful.
“You language determines your destiny” I absolutely love that! Thank you for the insightful nature of your work and diversity of the guests you feature on your podcast!
I was really impressed when Ramit helped Christopher reframe how he was viewing his fiancé making him get his finances together and then how Christopher was able to link the behaviour back to his parents. Such a pivotal moment!
What Ramit points out about money being a HUGE factor in any partnership/marriage, cannot be overstated. I'm well into 6 decades of life and two marriages and I'm a mom. These conversations are a MUST before committing for life. If everyone had access to someone like Ramit, this type of counseling BEFORE marriage would change the course of so many couples. Loved the cutting up of the credit cards and Ashly jumping up to get the sissors! Chris and Ashley are such a lovely couple and are on the right track to have a rich life. I'd love to hear from them in a year. Wish them both the best in life! Thanks Ramit!
Dave Ramsey provides a smack down for people in debt who are unable to break the cycle.
His methods have worked for many people.
Today's gentle message will also work for people.
It's great to have options.
Agreed.
I love that they have specific courses of actions and some goals to work towards. A lot of follow-ups have no real plan and a bunch of nebulous courses of action. Well done to these two.
I thought the same thing! She’s serious about that money
Family planning is also a huge part of being financially responsible. If you are living in poverty, children should be off the table. Having children is the easiest way to stay impoverished if you have not stabilized your own life. Children make it incredibly harder to pursue your own goals as they require a lot of financial resources, time, and energy. Your options become limited because you have to be accountable for another living person who’s helpless.
I hear you, but I hope you understand that's a perfect world ideal. People living in poverty have limited access to healthcare, and culture and religion play a huge role. People like to believe that having children is a choice, but the truth is it's not a choice for everyone.
And the fact that it's biology. Most humans feel the need to reproduce at some point in their life. It's sad that having a family is becoming inaccessible to some.
I 100% agree
Millions have doubled down and worked hard to support a family throughout the centuries.
Planning is new. Never have so many wealthy people been so unhappy.
And it is painful and expensive to put off having kids and go through fertility treatments.
I love how Ramit said please don’t message me the cobbler’s kids story!! 😂 Had me rolling!! 😂😂
not me listening on Spotify then hearing Christopher about to cut his credit cards then switching immediately to RUclips and getting emotional when he cuts the cards.... lol but for real this is huge! And this is coming from someone who's never even had credit card debt
Love these two already... They are young enough to figure this out and they're already having all these important convos in a respectful way!
This was such an inspiring episode. They were so much more willing to address their money baggage and conflicts than the couples that we see on here 15-25 years older. Great head start on a happy marriage, too! I hope we can get an update from this wonderful couple!
What a wonderful couple! Both have mutual respect and have goals They are going to do just fine 💜
Great episode! I definitely want to see more episodes with couples that are engaged so they have a better chance to start their marriage on the right foot financially! 🎉
OMG, she compared DR to rice and beans! 😂 Love it.
Congratulations Ashley and Christopher, not only on your engagement but taking the necessary steps to create a loving and healthy foundation. My husband and I went to premarital counseling where we addressed our very different views on money. During those sessions we decided to follow the 50-30-20 plan, but save 30% for retirement, travel, gifts, home and car repairs. It's HARD to live below your means (staycations and shopping at thrift store or craigslist) when your friends and your kids friends travel every break and have the newest cellphone, etc. We kept our eyes on the prize and we were able to purchase a home, save for kids college, and invest for our retirement, without cc debt.
As the daughter of an immigrant mother, it's worth it, you are worth it, the legacy (which isn't just money) you can leave for future generations is WORTH it! Wishing you two the best for your future together.
This was an excellent interview. It’s nice to see this young couple, wanting to enter marriage and the rest of their lives whole. Having this tuff conversation now. Will set them on a better path later.
These guys have a bright happy fulfilling life ahead of them. No real problems here
Love your show Ramit! Thank you for the weekly episodes!
I think this guy is lucky to be married to Ashley! She’s kind but also pretty wise w/ money and committed to breaking generational curses, not high maintenance like her mom said. Wanting JC Penney not all thrift clothes isn’t my idea of high maintenance.
Well...they aren't married yet!
I feel like people who use the word high maintenance is using it as a defence mechanism. Her mom couldn’t afford JC Penny so she called Ashley high maintenance to shut her up. In reality there’s nothing wrong with wanting nice things
These two have to be the most self aware and thoughtful people of all of the episodes I’ve listened to! This one felt really wholesome and empowering. Love to see it, and they sound like they have a great future ahead of them
This guy he has a very special strong powerful voice.
I always look forward on Tuesday to listen to this. Love love . Thank you for the lessons.
The most teachable, humble couple I've seen on this podcast. All the best to them!
Yessir listening while working
All the time 😂
Wait...there's another way lol?
😂😂😂
This episode was all over the place, at first, then it seems to have calmed down, and ended in a MUCH better position than I assumed it would!
Hopefully they continue to work together in positive way, because the alternative is a life like his parents, which I'm sure they don't want.
This is my favorite episode. They are so receptive and seem like a great couple that wants to change. I think I honestly like them so much because they remind me of my fiancé and I.
Great episode!! I appreciate the way Ramit was able to connect with them and help them realize how their upbringing is affecting them now and potentially their marriage. It was refreshing to see so much accountability being taken!! Wishing them the best.
I cried when he cut up his credit cards! 😭 wow, commitment! I love to see it! ❤🎉
I love this for them! Its so nice to see Christopher cuting the cards and seeing how both of them are commited.
Tuesday mornings are my favorite. Thanks for the content
Ramit .. you are changing lives and positively affecting the next generation financially…carry on ☺️
I really enjoyed this couple. They were willing to admit where they were wrong and wanted to make changes.
As always insightful session.❤Ramit series’s helped me to review my bank statements seriously.
I like Ramit is so passionate about helping people optimise their financial lives. You have a lot of patience, passion, and empathy to understand challenges. Yet, you are also firm. A good combination.
I watch Ramit from the UK without fail. I bought the audio version of his book (I'll teach you to be rich) and I'm currently listening to it on audible. I'll highly recommend it.
Love the new time for the podcast :)
I loved this! they will be fine. I like that they were an engaged couple. It is nice to see a different perspective! I hope they keep us updated
Love this channel, great job Ramit
Great episode. Love the diversity that this episode brought. Young couple trying to get on the same page.
I love that Ramit got him to cut the credit cards because this whole time I was thinking Chris needs a dose of Dave Ramsey just to stop normalizing the credit card debt and him being naturally into investing and not as conservative as Dave he can come out of it balanced.
Listening to this as a way to procrastinate and avoid dealing with my debt.
Thanks for the countless hours of denial and projection, Ramit!
You better switch to Caleb hammer and Dave Ramsey
who hurt you? lol
No one understands sarcasm, hum?
I love this pre-marital counseling!
I freaking love that Ramit shows how long the ads are !!!
Amazon job everyone. That was a powerful decision. Good luck and hope you have an amazing life together.
His attitude that debt will always be there and always be around is terrifying. I personally couldn't marry someone with such a damning attitude towards his finances - all he is going to end up doing is bringing himself and everyone around him down.
No he will not! He just needed guidance -which he’d never received before.
@@lorririvera4506 I hope you’re right. I’m a financial advisor by profession and people typically don’t change ingrained attitudes about money. People often know better but it’s really hard to do or be better. All too often what you see is what you get
Him being in a better financial condition for the next 3 years would be proof he’s capable of change and able to maintain it before marriage and possibly a family. Otherwise she’s gambling in hope - which isn’t a good strategy.
I disagree. I used to feel this way out of ignorance, but I don't feel this way today!
Love the show, very inspiring!
You guys are awesome..this was a great episode. This was really smart to do before you get married, you have a ways to go but I have faith you will figure it out. Ashley, you should be humping and bumping making as much money as you can before you have kids, pay down those student loans and stop giving money to relatives. Chris...you know what you have to do, pay off those credit cards asap. I hope there's a reunion of these two in a few years.
Oh boy, Chris i hope you read this. I was a little older fhan you with a little more CC debt than you have and it was SO freeing to pay it off! This is what your fiancée wants from you and it will make your financial life so much better.
Would LOVE to see the future episode you mentioned about a partner owning a property and then the new partner moving in and how to handle those expenses! I bought my house in 2022 right when my partner and I started dating and then they moved out of their rental into the house and we have put into practice your system as much as possible but these specifics would be super helpful! We also aren’t sure how/if to refinance and put them as a co-owner down the road. Thanks!
Fabulous discussion and powerful result for this couple Well Done Ramit
This was beautiful! Loved every minute of it! I was listening to the podcast but had to come over to see the credit card cutting. Great physical weight lifted off I bet! Amazing you two! Wishing the best. Haha I am definitely looking forward to the conversation before marriage where one partner owns a house but the other does not and yet pays a portion. Need insight on how to approach that gently ha. Do you interview military couples or does that not apply financially?
“It’s not about the Transmission, it’s about the Trust.” 😮💨😮💨😮💨🥶 6:44
Great Video Ramit!!!
Listening while commuting
Great episode!
I love this couple, so sweet!
I love this couple! I think they’re gonna make it! 🤩
Is anyone else thinking that her student loan debt which she is basically ignoring, is a bigger problem then his CC debt? Accumulating and compounding interest as we speak?
I don't understand how they're putting money into investments whilst still having credit card balance(s). This doesn't make sense.
Beautiful episode
Hi Ramit, would love an episode about moving in and paying rent to your partner who already owns the space. That is my current situation and it’s working well for now but it seems hard for him to think long term!
There was an episode about this at one point... I would say be VERY careful paying rent to a partner who is dragging his feet on commitment (if I read that correctly).
You make me cry!😢
Muma was like, "You're not going to use not having scissors as an excuse
I can relate to Anthony's situation. I was broke when I met my wife. She helped me change my behavior. My family bought things first before figuring out how we were going to pay for things. My wife's family was different.
Ashley I feel your pain ! Married 6 years but we paid for the wedding I had it figured out how much we had to put in savings each week . My now husband would see that money and just take it for whatever reason . I personally got very mad but moving forward when I had 2k -5k in the account I just called the hall and made a deposit 😂.. I still don’t trust him with money but I always have a backup plan .
"Pulling out your portfolio" on your first date 😂😮
I don't understand the part about cutting up the cards. both of the accounts could easily be in Chris' phone. So maybe it's a symbolic gesture about committing to change. Credit cards aren't inherently bad, its our relationship with credit that's bad. No judgement... I've been there (in CC debt) more than 1 time and I finally smartened up for good and got out of that cycle but also retained my accounts. I've learned how to NOT fall victim to poor usage and bad spending habits. I changed my mindset and relationship with money and yes Ramit, I even bought and read your book which helped reinforce the money habits I started building, and obviously I'm still watching the videos and listening to the podcast to stay on the right path with money. I'd love to see a follow up to see where they land in the next 12-18 months. Reading the comments, the audience is cheering them on and wishing them the best, myself included.
To take 3-4 months off a year is CRAZY TO ME. leaving all that money on the table triggered me.
I'm sorry but I do not understand why a healthy, YOUNG person would take 3 - 4 months OFF FROM WORK, just because...These are among the most productive years of one's life.🙄
@@sylviamurray7467 exactly. No kid, no health problems we are aware of. That was the BIGGEST Red Flag of the conversation. I couldn’t get passed it.
Interesting, I didn’t have the same reaction. I assume she works quite intense periods, and travelling for a work assignment basically steals your personal life. To me it makes total sense to have periods of downtime.
@@sylviamurray7467 this is harsh, but it's because he's paying for a good portion of her life. she's paying 1100 in rent to him, below market. he's fixing his car because he feels he should keep it safe for her, unless I missed it, she doesn't have a car. tbh her sour face for most of the interview only broke when Ramit compliments her, frankly bro is getting played.
For traveling health care workers, in order to have a tax free housing stipend & other benefits, you must stop traveling and return home at least 30 days every year to re-set your traveling clock. Depending on what jobs are available after the required 30 days off, where they are and if they require licensure (which may take weeks to procure), you may have to wait for a job that fits your specific qualifications.
Since Ashley didn't elaborate on the specifics of her Med Tech travel contracts, the details listed might factor into her decision to take additional time off.
(I'm a former Allied Travel recruiter)
Such a sweet ending.
I listen to the podcast but I came to RUclips to say shoutout to all my Medical Technologists 🎉
Good for him cutting those credit cards. New beginnings. I love story of “The Cobblers Shoes” It is the case sometimes we take care of others but not ourselves.
This episode was much more uplifting than a lot of them have been lately. I actually believe this couple is going to make changes and that he will pay off that debt.
Yes!! It was fun to look at a csp and think Ok, some tweaks, but not a total disaster.
I did not think I’d see some Ramsey plastic surgery on here but I’m so glad!!!!! This was an amazing breakthrough, you can visibly see his deep breaths as he begins to find the cards
Really would have been even better if Ashley had done a $21K principal down payment on her Student Loans just like Dave Ramsey would have told her to do if she had called into his show. Let's face it, Ashley is a hypocrite.
@@jeromehenry4484doesn't make sense if the interest rate is low. Low interest debt is fine, CC debt is not
Yep. She is all over his credit card debt but ignores her student loan debt. Also, I get spending time with family, but taking months off between assignments is ridiculous. People go to work and kids go to school so months off is just being lazy. The best place to go when you are broke is to work-Dave Ramsey
Haha didn't know the "cobbler's kid" story... In French though there is thid commonly used expression: cobblers have the worst footwear 😂
Great couple. I wish them the best. I wish every couple could go through this before marrying.
When cutting up credit cards, also make sure the cards are not saved on the phone NFC thingemy!!!
Please do the episode on one spouse owning the property before your got married. #mylife
Always great content. Ramit, I would love to see some GenX profiles. They are being very sandwiched by kids and aging parents.
Ramit does lots of Gen Xers... Last week's episode for example. They're often pretty tough to watch, though!
I loved this one so much! They set actual goals and put a plan in place to get it done. I refused to marry my husband until we both paid off our ccs and student loans. It felt so good to start fresh together.
Just curious though-why wasn’t working more months a year an option for Ashley? She should catch up on her own investments while he pays his ccs down.
Agree! Even just one year of working a little more could get her retirement savings in much better shape.
"do you have difficulty saying no?"
"Yes"
Welp that checks out 😂
@ramitsethi if you read this I would love your opinion on whether a couple should continue with marriage if one partner is financially stable and their partner isn't. How much should the other partners finances effect your decision to move forward? How would you approach this situation? What should be deal breakers? Thanks
This is so my husband and I . I am Chris and my husband is Ashley. I know our reason I was brought up with parents who just spent and never looked to the future. I am 1 of 7 kids . #1 concerned was the kids . As kids we always worried about money . My husband lost his father at 20 years old he was always given everything he wanted . so money in his mind would always be there
We make money but I am always afraid of something happening and then what so times I will use cc . I am 43 and just done with debt
So crazy because Ashley is like me but I have the debt and my husband has no debt but can’t save any money
Rich Life Gang
I'm so Ashley😂 please let me know if you ever think on producing a chapter in Spanglish or in Spanish podcast, it would be nice to meet your wife, my compatriota, as our interpreter. My English is so so, but my husband's is no no 😂