“We’re broke paying for $55k private school tuition”
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2024
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Sarah and Kevin. In part two of our revealing conversation, we offer solutions for their serious debt accumulation problem and grapple with the hard truth about their biggest non-negotiable expense: $55k a year for their three daughters’ private school tuition.
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Can’t-miss moments:
00:00:00 - 1: Opening
00:02:43 - 2: Ramit’s mind is blown by their $55,000 private school expense
00:06:11 - 3: Sarah realizes she has to make a big sacrifice
00:13:37 - 4: Sarah gets emotional about building their dream house
00:14:15 - 5: The moment Ramit tells them they can’t afford the house
00:20:50 - 6: “You’re watching your dreams get calculated away”
00:21:47 - 6: Their fixed-costs are 151% of their take-home pay!
00:26:33 - 7: Can they afford their kids’ activities?
00:32:00 - 8: Ramit gets their fixed costs down from 151% to 76% in one move
00:36:40 - 10: Sarah reveals she can immediately cut $36,000 in business expenses
00:42:40 - 11: Say goodbye to the Tesla
00:48:22 - 12: Ramit is shocked to learn the kids are already in $55,000 private school
00:56:22 - 13: “Is it worth it?”
01:03:57 - 14: Where are they now? Sarah and Kevin ghosted Ramit
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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: forms.gle/pjYMaLeThJM3z9uN6
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0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Please do a show with some good stories 😆 husband and I both immigrants 57 & 60 . Bought and old home for 19 k paid cash during housing crisis. We own various old cars , boat & RV . They are old but they are mine. No debt beside mine student loan. Have some savings and live within our means. By not having mortage we can help people from other countries. I have a small 401 k . After many yrs we believe we made it The American dream we have security. We have 3 kids and all have $ saved the oldest have quite a bit for her age 23. It can be done I only make 20 k a yr and spouse maybe 45 now. He always made less than me. Love your show
@@brendaroca1049 But the entertainment and value is in seeing people struggle, own up to their bad habits, change their perspective for new goals that better their life indefinitely. They will never forget these life lessons and they will pass those good habits on to their kids. People who know how to do this already that's great but are also are boring to watch boast.
I get it. Sometimes we can attach ourselves to an idea to the detriment of our overall well being. I hope they made the changes they needed to thrive not just survive.
you insist on living in the best neighborhood with the best schools but then you do not want to use those schools?
I went to private schools it was waste of money.
building a house has a 50% chance of destroying your family.
The husband became more animated when he was given the opportunity to take the idea of the school off of the table.
He knows the answer.
He seems scared to tell his wife reality and them both get off this crazy ride
He has common sense but he is afraid of confrontation
He’s already planned his escape from this circus. I don’t want to be mean and I had other descriptions in my mind to use but I have to say they are both very brave or have zero friends or family that know how to use a RUclips.
Where do these people live
The school decision is her decision. 😢
I don't know if they will read these comments but I'd love to tell them about my experience of going to private school when it was a stretch for my parents: I worried every month that my parents might not make the payment and I'd be walked out of school and have to start over. It made me feel 'other'. It was a really scary feeling, and one that I wish for my teenage self I'd not had to experience.
What an insightful comment. Thank you for sharing it here
On a related note, my experience at private school had a negative impact on my self-esteem and personality. Teenagers often compare themselves to others, which was the case for me at private school. My classmates came from wealthier families and were picked up by luxury cars and had access to expensive things. This made me feel like I didn't measure up and less confident. Unfortunately, this feeling still affects me today and makes me feel inferior in group settings.
My grandparents sacrificed a lot to send my Dad and his brother to an expensive private school. They also remember the feeling of being outsiders because they lived in a small house, drove an old car, couldn't do expensive after school activities. Was this expensive education worth it? No, one became a farmer and the other suffered an illness and never worked beyond 20. I'd love this couple to unravel the story they are telling themselves about why this is a must for their kids. So many successful people go to ordinary schools. It's not worth sacrificing your families future for something that is a relatively small component in anyone's future success. Thank you for sharing their story, Ramit, it was fascinating.
I went to a private school too. When I left, it was $13,000 a year; this is in a country with a GDP Per Capita of just over 600 USD. We were locals paying out of pocket, whereas most other local kids there were there on company benefits (international school with only about 1/3 local students for context). I'd been walked out of school quite a few times because of missed payments. It is traumatizing.
Parents often think that they can insulate their kids from these things - as if the financial strain won't affect the kids and all the kids will remember or have is the great education. It's that fallacy that kids are oblivious and can be insulated from life. It seems like she has some significant impacts from money in her childhood - why would they assume that their money issues won't impact their kids in the same way?
I sent my daughters to a great private school for 7 years and decided to pull them out at 7th grade due to financial reason. I cried for months after I made that decision as I felt like a huge failure!. It turned out it was the best decision I made. My daughters are now rising Seniors at a public school and doing exceptionally well in all aspects academically, sports and socially. There are more resources for learning and sport activities at public school. At the meantime, I was able to save some money toward their college funds the last six years. Instead of working more hours to make the money to pay for private school, I decided to cut the hours and work part time. I am spending more time with my daughters... taking them to school, talking to them, involving with their school activities, sports, and knowing their friends (and parents). I have learnt that children don't need to go to private schools to become kind, successful and intelligent human beings. That's the parents' job!
Amazing 😍
I would say that it takes a village to best raise a child. And parents are the captains for those village people. 🤣
$2K a month in car payments! Mind blown. And you know what…..they wont get rid of those cars. They’ll end up broke and divorced within 18 months. The kids will end up in public school. This is an exercise in futility.
The saddest part is their income is high enough and their rent low enough that they could be very wealthy in only a few years. Leave their kids money. They chose to be broke.
My thoughts exactly.
She would rather homeschool her kids then sell her cars 😭
@@Stephanie-we2mvmore scary than them getting divorced is the thought that they stay on the path they are on for 10+ more years 😂😂😂
facts
This second part confirms my thoughts on the first part. I'm 100% sure all of this spending is not because of Kevin, it's because of Sarah. Sarah wants to live the rich, elite life (build a house, kids in private school, expensive cars). Seeing Kevin's reaction when Ramit mentions they need to change their spending says it all. He has obviously tried to tell her that the numbers don't work, and she just has to have her way. He looked like a defeated man who was just vindicated. She has this fairy tale life in her head and she doesn't like the fact she can't have it all. Look at how she cried about not being able to build a house.
Also confirmed suspicion about Sarah's opinion on not wanting the kids in public school is more her "opinion" than anything. Near the end she finally mentions a "lower cost or free" option. If she wants her kids in private school, maybe she should have shopped around. A private school doesn't automatically mean it's "better" and if they live in the great neighborhood that they claim they do, the public schools are probably very good there. I seriously think she just wants them in private school for that "rich status" more than anything.
Kevin, if you're reading this, when you get the inheritance put it in an account that only you have access to and keep her away from it. She WILL find ways to spend it.
Well said, in line with what I felt, too.
This was definitely my impression it’s a mess of a situation
Agreed. I watched 1 episode and I think Sarah's income number is total bullshit
Well he does not want to give up the expensive cars. So it's not just her.
In part 1, when she mentioned his inheritance, she looked extra gleeful. I hope he has trusted family that can hold it for him.
It's hard not to think that Sarah is not doing this for her children - she's doing it for herself.
I believe she's trying to fulfill the things she didn't see occur when she was a kid...basically living in fantasy land. I understand the private school but where in earth do they live where there is no good school district. They are not going to qualify for any aid based on their salaries.
She sees the husband income to ride her dreams.
@@TanyaScorpio or a private school that’s cheaper. It’s all status!!! The national average for private elementary is under 8K. That’s 24K (for 3 kids) annual, not 58K.
@@pilsung26 true true... I don't care the education of your child has good study habits and the patent can get them tutors immediately when help is needed...that's all you need. My opinion I was public school in the city and I sure turned out pretty well.
She says she can’t have the house of her dreams because of her children’s education. Is this a resentment in the making?
I could be projecting but I kind of get ultra conservative vibes from them. Like they don't want the kids in school because they don't want them learning that gay people exist in health class or that racism exists in history class. And if that is the case then they deserve to go broke.
When Sarah said she's afforded things by "pushing harder," I didn't see evidence of that. I think the only pushing she's done is pushing money around in a weird house of cards game. They've wasted windfalls, and they're about to waste another. I think the inheritance is Kevin's; he'd be wise to put it in a separate account and not co-mingle it with joint funds. It'll be gone in six months otherwise.
Saying they'd apply for financial aid at school was annoying. I've gone to private school benefits and fundraisers, and my hope is that the scholarships and aid are going to kids whose families don't have $2000 a month in car payments. Living above your means and then asking for aid is sketchy.
I was wondering about that too, how in heck could they qualify for financial aid?!
It seems like her relationship with money is totally broken. Her childhood has clearly given her the idea that success is having fancy things. Breaking that habit is the only way that she's going to break that cycle.
The only thing it seems she pushed harder is the credit card across the counter.
I’m really worried about the inheritance. I’m sure she has that in the back of her mind as a get out jail free card. She needs to live on her checking account and checking account only.
@@shelby477😂
I hope they don’t get financial aid for private school. Given their income, that feels borderline immoral to me.
I think they said they were
What’s next, food stamps
Perhaps they just mean the discount for having 3 kids at the same private school. It likely isn't that much at all of a discount.
In the 1st episode when she said - without financial aid it’s about $55,000 a year - I had to replay that sentence twice to get the number. My brain tripped on the words “financial aid”. What?!?!? How is that possible? But yeah, maybe it’s just a multiple kids discount.
If they’re at a top independent school, some of these charge between $35-70K. They couldn’t pay this for all three kids, so they’re probably getting some form of financial aid.
My parents were not wealthy, but they valued education above all else. They took my sister and me to plays, concerts, and museums. They bought us books. My sister and I got a stellar education in the public school system and had phenomenal teachers and extracurricular activities. For the activities we couldn't get in school, my parents set us up with music lessons and theater classes. My sister and I both graduated second in our graduating classes and went on to study at fantastic colleges. I'm so thankful for my time in public school because I met real people from all walks of life, and appearances didn't matter as much because no one was rich. Education is SO MUCH MORE than a piece of paper from a private school.
Mine did the same thing. We only did Disney 1x because my grandparents moved to FL. Looking back it and seeing kids now - I was VERY privileged with FREE museums, Summer Stock theatre, art lessons, State & National Parks and later season tickets for cultural events. State college - 2 Masters. I paid for all of it myself - I'm glad I didn't grow up with the competitiveness private schools bring. My parents also stayed out of my career choices!
Some Public schools are better than private schools especially if the school is in a wealthy district. That’s what makes the difference and it’s infuriating that they are so blinded by the allure of private education
@@Daveyjonesvi So true! Because public schools and public teachers must meet certain standards, that means paying for private school often means paying for a worse education.
@@karenkehler7331 That's awesome! We also only did Disney once when I was a kid, and it was when we were old enough to actually remember and appreciate the experience.
I went to private school and I honestly don’t think I got a crazy good education compared to public schools in the area. Especially with the wasted time in religion classes and going to church every week during the school day…
The saddest part about all this, is that if they lived frugally and well below their means, raised their kids well and taught them how to handle money, the money and assets they could leave their kids could be snowballed to push their kids into millionaire status, potentially not having to worry about money ever again (assuming they maintain good money habits themselves).
Instead she is so caught up on her idealization of how her life should be that she will lead the family into financial ruin, her kids will struggle, and then the kids will have to subsidize the parents in old age because theyll be bankrupt.
you're absolutely correct
I was so frustrated this point wasn’t hit in the episode. You’re not doing your kids any favors by making it their job to care for you in retirement because you didn’t save and invest when you could.
Moving is non-negotiable because they are in the best school district in the state but insist and pissing away $55,000 a year for private school? This woman is beyond daft and her husband looks like he's dying inside.
Oh god... this episode is pretty infuriating... Ramit, you are a better, and more patient person than I am. I was sent to private school even though it was beyond my parent's budget. It was a nice education but there was ZERO support by the time it was for college and I actually resented that. They always seemed to think "oh we sent you to private school, now figure out the rest" and it felt unfair because I never asked to be sent. They chose for me and then told me to deal with the consequences. I really doubt that there is no good schools in their area. They are lying to themselves.
It's even worse when you see cases of parents bleeding money out over private school for primary education but have nothing saved for the kid's college.
If I remember right, she claims in the first episode they're in the district of the best public high school in the state even. The private school thing has to be something other than "just a good education"
@@Akinon93 but the kids arent in high school yet.
Perhaps they banked on private schooling to give the edge on merit based scholarships. Guess that didn’t happen.
They would have been better off putting that money in a college fund.
I was so torn about a public school vs private school when my daughter started school. I was a single parent and so scared of scarring her if I lost my job AND she lost her social network at the same time. Since I couldn't GUARANTEE the money would always be available I chose public school. She will graduate Virginia Tech next year and I'm so proud of her. She did that. You can't guarantee private schools will make your children successful or public will ruin them. Just a thought.
Yes, really depends on the child's individual needs.
Most private schools are a scam
Education usually depends on the parents attitude -so we’ll done
Studies show, it's you who matter, not the school.
It's funny that what kids would rather have is parents who aren't stressed to their eyeballs.
This looked promising at times, but she just doesn't get it. She wants a lifestyle she simply hasn't earned. When they discussed transportation and having $2,000/month in car payments her initial response was "We don't have a choice we don't have public transport." This shows me that she believes her only option is driving luxury vehicles. That she couldn't even conceive of the idea that she drives a 2017 Toyota Sienna and not a brand-new Tesla. She believes she is better than that and uses material items & private school to prove her worth. I'm sorry, but you earn 90k a year in a HCOL area. That is the definition of average. She isn't special but doesn't want to believe it.
I don't see them willing to pull up to private school drop off in a 10 year old Toyota but that's what Ramit was trying to tell them. I live on a street with an "elite" preschool and the cars are super nice with a few exceptions (probably nanny).
It’s her. She can’t give up the lifestyle
One has to keep up with the Joneses.
That part drove me insane. As if there's literally nothing in between the freaking Bus and a fully loaded Ford Expedition 🤣
right i drive a 14 yr old toyota and it has zero negative impact on my life. paying more than 20k for a car is insane to me especially if you have debt. you need to cheapest but reliable car you can get full stop.
Curious about why Ramit didn’t bring the inheritance into the conversation when they were calculating in this part 2? You KNOW she’s sitting there with “well, we’re getting the inheritance money soon. That’ll take care of it” in her head and continuing her cognitive dissonance.
Her vague, noncommittal answers and saying something without really saying anything at all are infuriating to hear. And the crying about “making sacrifices” re: the dream house… like, girl.
She is counting on the inheritance money, but I think Ramit wants them to try planning with the money they actually have/earn. That inheritance money may not be as big as she thinks it will be, but I hope Kevin finds a way to stay some before it's gone.
Right...she is behaving as if she is about to be homeless.
That inheritance should not be co-mingled or she will take it all!!
I’m sure Kevin will have that inheritance stuck in “working out conversion” for a long time. 😬
This couple is the definition of American privilege. It's hard to believe they can be intelligent enough to pull in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year but not intelligent enough to not overspend it. Baffles me that private school for their kids was a non-negotiable, what an insult to kids and teachers all over America that go to public school.
I know couples like them. Usually conservative Christians who don’t want a “liberal” education. “God wants my kids to go to private school.”
I can understand, but I'd definitely homeschool
Public school is garbage. Speaking from personal experience going to public school.
everyone in my family went to public school and we are all upper middle class, and one cousin just graduated university magna cum laude. My husband and I both went on to get upper degrees (JD and masters in EE). Our kids are in public school. Some public schools may be bad, but there are a ton of really good ones too. There are even magnet (you have to test in) public schools in our area.
And they live in the best public school district in the state!
I hope Kevin and Sarah will read my comments. 1. If you have a daughter that needs extra help, you'll get it in public school. Public schools have MORE resources to help. In private schools they don't have extra staff who can work with kids 1-to-1 like they do in public. 2. Private school costs way more than just tuition. They "get" you for tons of other expenses throughout the year. I know because I just took my 2 girls OUT of private school. 3. My kids are not in the "best" school in our state now, but we are supplementing where I feel necessary. 4. If I were Kevin, I would hide the inheritance from Sarah and invest it. You can use it for the college tuitions as well as your retirement.
Or just higher a tutor. I’m sure they will not spend 50k in after tutor and send them to tennis lessons or swimming dance idk.🤦🏻♂️
Exactly, phantom cost also needs to be considered. You pay extra like clothes , school trips etc. Also they could be around kids who are far wealthier so they may not be able to do the same things as those kids and feel left out.
They’re not there for the education. They’re there for the reputation.
Also, i wish reading the comments was part of this show 😅
Yes, they make good money but couldn't think of just hiring a tutor or more in-depth classes online?
@@CuAnge1 phantom costs here are huge. And given how Sarah spoke about her childhood and always feeling she didn’t have enough, it will be really difficult for her to say no to those extra costs that some classmates’ families will say yes to without batting an eye.
Wait a minute, they live in the best school district according to her. But, yet all 3 kids are attending private schools.
I was thinking the exact same thing!!
And make over 200k and apply for financial aid, what a joke.
If I understood correctly, they're attending the only good private school in the entire state (according to them, in pt. 1), they can't leave the state because of their jobs, and the only other choice is homeschooling.
Either their kids have special needs that only this school is capable of handling, they live in a really small (population-wise) state, they have some philosophical objection to public education DESPITE being in the "best" school district in the state, or they're hung up on what they think people with their income SHOULD have.
I went to private school with snotty rich girls who could barely read or write. I ended up going to a parochial high school because my parents could no longer afford the tuition. Meanwhile, my sisters went to some of the best public schools in our area and IMO they got a MUCH better education than I did.
@@Zaevia And then she starts crying like she is down and out.
Perhaps the best public schools are still really bad. Do we know what state they live in?
When Sarah revealed that she could cut 3k a MONTH from her business expenses and didn't before... that sounds extremely fishy. I really am curious where that was going if she could cut it without impacting the income they are bringing in. In the first podcast she also mentions around 31:00 taking trips for her business (to Cabo), but put that on her credit card... What type of business is she running where she takes a trip to Cabo? This is going to sound bad but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she was part of an MLM or something because being able to cut 3k immediately from business expenses when you run a business is very very unusual....
Yes all that co-mingling business with personal finance was very fishy to me as well
I'm very sure it's an MLM business
Yeah… smells MLM-ish
She has $400,000 of unsold Amway products in the garage....😂
I also found that incredibly confusing. It really makes no sense to me.
Sarah needs at least 3-4 more husbands to support her lifestyle
😂😂😂I hate I laughed at this but yeah
Sarah needs to be a 11 to support the lifestyle she desires.
Sarah is a brat
😂😂😂😂 I shouldn't be laughing like this.
She for Wall Street
1. Private school 55k x 12= 660,000
2. What about college cost?
3. Why did Remit not really go in on her comingling her business expenses with personal family funds. Is her business really making what she claimes its making?
4. Selling your house to pay off debt, think about how tense the conversations were that lead to that. Then ending up with major debt 6 months later? This will be a big risk to their relationship.
5. 2000 per month in car payments and other cars are not sufficent? Honda's, toyotas, subaru's are not sufficent? you can have 2 of those and your payments can be well under 1000 per month.
6. I wonder what they do for a living?
7. I wonder which state do they live in that they absolutely cannot send the kids to the school, and they cannot move away from?
8. I wonder how much money they actually need to make to live the type of lifestyle that they are living?
They really need to become an ALL CASH home and get rid of all of their Credit cards until they are in control of their finances. Forget the miles and the points. Live within your means do not buy something until you have all of the money to buy it.
You can use a debit card but thats it.
he can only do so much lolol
Somehow, I feel there are still things Sarah and Kevin are not saying. I feel the debt is considerably worse.
Yep, I think she makes like 15k in reality. At some point he said annual income $230 and he also said he made $214 so I think it’s very likely everything she says is an inflated lie. Except their expenses, she downplays those! She is crazy and they are probably divorced now.
I’m bummed because at the end, it seemed like Kevin and Sarah had come to the conclusion that they had to ditch the private school which Ramit did an amazing job subtly referring to the entire episode without forcing the idea upon them.
Kevin talking about how he felt like he could “breathe” was pretty cool to see, especially given where they started in the conversation.
Unfortunately, it looks like Kevin and Sarah are going to resume their same habits that got them to this position, living well above their means.
This is a great reminder that just because someone looks successful (private school, expensive cars, etc) doesn’t mean they are actually successful. As Morgan Housel says best “wealth is what you don’t see.”
Regardless, I appreciate the courage Kevin and Sarah had to come on the podcast. Ramit stays killing it - best podcast out there!
Well, they are successful. Professionally at least. They have *plenty* of money coming in. Professional success, though, doesn't mean that you have your sh!t together - which this couple does not. And the startling thing here, is that the answer is obvious to every observer - they need to change their relationship with money. Crying because you won't be able to build your dream house? Come on! It's just a house. If your emotional well being is that tied to a thing *that you don't even have*, your concept of value is centered in the wrong place. This is obvious to anyone watching, but as is always the case, things that are obvious on the outside never are to yourself.
Not all stories have a happy ending.
Just wouldn't give up the cars
I’m actually sad for them. They’ll go broke in a few years
@@ecclairmayo4153that had to be the most ridiculous thing. They literally stood there silently for 5 minutes contemplating on something that should been a “hell yes” in 5 seconds smh , that was a tell tell sign they’re not willing to compromise their bad financial habits I bet they were thinking what would my neighbors think or the school would think my job etc. if I don’t have the $75,000 cars
If education is truly so important, they'll put at least part of that inheritance in to 529 accounts for their children instead of slamming it all in to this private K-12 school.
I can just hear the little voice on her shoulder telling her that the inheritance will bail her out on the private school. She hears your logic, but I don’t think she has the mettle to actually change her habits. Reducing one’s lifestyle can be painful in many ways, and it’ll take a much bigger event to bring them down to earth. I fear for their marriage.
I don't think they have shared goals. I got the sense she wants private school and a house and he wants to keep his car. Those can't all happen. If they get honest, they'll realize only one of those things can happen.
When they said they have to keep the cars because there's no public transportation in their area, DH and I cracked up. We rewound to hear it again. We were expecting some justification about the EV. Like they have solar panels or lifetime free charging. (We live in an area with no public transportation and drove used Hondas and Toyotas for decades.)
They didn’t respond because they went on to do what they wanted and probably didn’t listen to much of what you said to do. But their story helped me to see that no matter how much you make you have to have a plan on how to spend it.
It is irksome but very likely that Sarah’s business is actually an MLM. And that would explain just about everything we witnessed.
When I heard her say "if I hit my goals" my ears pricked. That's MLM talk.
That's exactly what I thought
It shows behind her on the wallboard. Some of her goals that mlm make you write down.
Which is why she thinks she makes 95k per year but in reality she has spent 80k to socialize, team build and buy useless products like the $1500-$2000 per month on career coaching. That's MLM 100%. The cruise was also an MLM event she had to attend, i bet. I wonder which one it is. If she quit the MLM and just started meal-planning and cooking from home she would double her actual take-home pay.
I was actually thinking this exact thing! Everything from the goals in the background to the talk of “goals” and “work trips” that cost thousands. This is definitely alarm bells in my head for MLM.
As a single mother who has struggled this makes me 😐. I divorced after 25 years (of abuse) and left a large home
on 5 acres with a pool for a 1,000 square foot apartment with a 10 year old, 16 and 17 year old. I was never happier. We lived happily and peacefully. This couple needs to get on the same page and realize they are BLESSED. Stop wanting the next big thing. I’m 53 and instead of playing travel sports (we did) and keeping up with the Joneses (we did) I’d buy a cheap boat and camper and take my kids to the lake every weekend possible. No HOUSE will ever make you, or your kids, happy. Nor, will a Tesla. Stop acting like children.
We share your anger. this couple is infuriating.
The huge expense is the eating out 3-4000? That’s crazy amount. Plus 11,000 dollar cruise. You can have some nice things but other things they need to Downgrade
I honestly believe people wildly overstate the importance of the ‘quality’ of a school. Going to a school ranked 10th vs a school ranked 50th will have no tangible effect on the outcome for that child. Education and learning starts at home, you can’t just outsource it.
Yup, I went to a top 3 school in my province, let me tell you, it was not a great experience. So damn stressful, not a better education, just way more homework. I literally have PTSD from those days.
Especially today, when the best schools in the world are youtube lectures from MIT, etc
Yes! If your child is not an independent learner it doesn't matter. Read the book! The teachers are teaching the book you can read yourself. Also, with youtube and social media, you can google anything. Private school and Ivy league is overrated. It is really only for Networking which also seems to be falling by the wayside.
It's also based on test scores. Your child can still do amazingly at school and have others that fail. If 2 kids are absent during testing, that alters the score by adding 2 0s. I want to know what the real reason for private school is.
In some states, 10th vs 50th matters big time! The 50th school is NOT a good place for your child since that school will likely not have the same resources as the 10th one. Remember schools that are rated higher often get more tax dollars allocated to them. So it does make a difference.
I can’t believe they ghosted you. Actually I can believe it. Great episode, my husband and I had a long talk about our own finances after. They are great examples of what not to do.
Their reluctance to follow up is not a good sign. While I give them a lot of credit for sharing their situation publicly (I wouldn't be brave enough to do it) their lack of response suggests there is some serious turmoil going on in that house now. As Sarah said, the problem is generational, and even if she has had this dream of breaking the cycle, like some of the other dreams she described that she wanted for her future in the episode, it's not looking good.
Unfortunately, they weren't willing to even give up the cars. This type of unnecessary stress puts people in the poor house and divorce.
with no follow up this couple is clearly doomed
Being able to afford to take 1-2 foreign trips a year will do faaaar more for their education than a private school.
Public school and a tutor would be more affordable
As a world traveler who went to one of the worst schools in Liverpool ha the hustle of surviving taught 11 years old a lot more than being cushioned 😅
@@cathihargaden1608 I agree.
I do agree. But unfortunately I think people fall into the trap of only accepting one of the top 5 colleges for their kids, and that tends to be easier when they have attended private school. They are only trying to do it out of love for their kids, I feel sorry for them, they are stuck in a bit of a trap they have set for themselves.
And also letting them do activities! How fulfilling will school be if you're going to cut all of their extra curriculars??
This woman will never change.
I’m wondering if the kids will ever get the same kind of inheritance that their dad was privileged enough to receive.
It’s so short-sighted.
"You make too much money to be behaving this way," is probably the strongest and most poignant statement about this couple's situation.
Thank you for this episode. To actually see the csp breakdown of high earners really puts into perspective the adage of "how do they make so much and not having anything to show for it"
Now that the kids have experienced a year of private school. I wonder what they would choose. Parents on the brink of divorce and a lifetime of financial stress or public school.
I really hope this couple and their family find their path.
The husband trying to hide his smile while Ramit lays out how much the spending has to change is priceless
That is the look of a defeated man who has tried to tell her that before without success and now feeling vindicated.
I was frustrated with Sarah the majority of the time across Pt 1 and 2, but started to feel bad for her. She took the majority of Ramit's ire and Kevin just sat there. Look no further than the part where Ramit says Kevin has to get rid of the Tesla. It says it all.
@@helloimwes I'm curious... what are you seeing there?
@@maryloucardenas7873 I saw it as, he felt like he deserves the car since he is working so much for his family "needs", and taking away the car would be stripping him of any satisfaction of his hard work. His face made it look like that is all he had from the big mess.
@@allisonmcconnell33- that was his dream just like she had hers. He didn't want to give up thr cars
Ramit i have been trying to empathize with them, and specifically with Sarah, but after 2+ hours of listening to them I just can't.
It has been the most frustrating episode(s) in the entire series. I feel sick.
The half Asian girl episode was more frustrating to me
@@cooledcannonThis is worse. I can see the other women’s perspective clearly and empathise (the one dating a doctor). This one is hard because they’ve chosen to live a 0.1% lifestyle where they only want the best cars, schools and houses - even applying for financial aide - it’s quite shocking. Whereas the other woman (Serena) seemed to feel insecure in the relationship and wanted to protect herself until marriage. If they were married and joining finances I don’t think that may have eased her. This couple I’m really not surez
I agree!
hahahaha feeling sick ahahah boo hoo. its not your life its theirs you will live, much better than them clearly
"You had 2 rides on a pony, you'll remember that sh*t forever!" #iconicmomquotes
😂😂😂
That was hilarious. 😂
I've been thinking about this episode all day, and I think I've identified Sarah's issue beneath the surface: all-or-nothing thinking.
- Her response to being told she couldn't afford a Tesla was "we can't sell it, there's no public transportation". Luxury vehicles or nothing.
- Of course, the schools issue. $55k/yr private school, or homeschooling (which, let's be honest, if done well at all, would have her or Kevin cut their income to the tune of more than $55k/yr, but I guarantee they're thinking of it as free). Private school or "nothing".
- I'll admit this one is hard for me to understand...but she can't find an already-built house she'll love? Custom-built dream house or nothing, then.
- When asked to cut down on expenses, instead of scaling back, she kept putting "$0" in the cells where there had been hundreds to thousands of dollars of expenses. Ramit, you sounded surprised at first, but I'm guessing the reason you didn't stop her was because that was truly the only way to bring down the 151%. But the way she was seeing those cells: either high-cost business coaching, tons of kids' activities, and daily luxuries, or nothing.
Honestly, if I saw my life choices as that black-and-white - my dream, the way I'd been living, and the way I'd built my identity around versus cutting off everything at the root - I'd have a hard time adjusting too.
I hope Sarah and Kevin find a way to work this out. The way this episode ended left me wishing them the best, but not optimistic for their marriage long-term.
I see your point on the all or nothing thinking, I'll add that there's a petulant quality when she selects nothing. Sarah only wants top shelf, the entire top shelf, right. now.
I think this is a really good point with really great examples.
This is a very insightful comment. Thank you
Chances are Kevin will commit to this, but Sarah? I doubt
She can see the part that her childhood played in the formation of her habits and thinking but she feels powerless to change it while feeling entitled to the lifestyle that credit cards have enabled. Time to do some deep inner work. Dr. Nicole Le Pera's How to Do the Work might be a start.
As a parent, I can totally understand wanting the best for your children. As an Indian, I also understand parents going to great lengths to secure quality education for their children. I would consider the following: 1/ What are the more affordable options to private schooling: private tutors? one parent cutting down on work hours to tutor the children? online classes for specific subjects? Parents simply being more involved in children's academic is bound to have a positive impact. 2/ Is the trade-off with the children's activities really worth it? It will surely hamper the all-round development of the children. In fact, I'd consider investing more in activities, cultural outings, books, movies, documentaries, travel... Learning doesn't happen only within the four walls of school! 3/ There seems to be an all or nothing approach to everything. Not driving a Tesla doesn't mean having to take the bus!
Best and most wisest comment here. Indians are really wise...
I would be surprised if she wasn’t in an MLM business. The first episode she couldn’t say how much she was going to make, and then said it was dependent upon her goals. Then she took a trip to Cabo, which is what MLM‘s do. She also had a business coach which was $900 a month to pay for. I’m thinking she’s in a MLM and losing some of her downline, which is why her income is fluctuating really bad.
Bossbabing into bankruptcy. How much unsold shampoo is in the garage?
When you asked her how she makes it happen and she said she “pushes harder”. . . There is no plan here. No plan other than relying on his upcoming inheritance and credit cards. It’s sad to see the cognitive dissonance. She could take on a new job, bring in more income, etc. to push them closer to her dreams. He seems to understand the gaps, but has reached a point where he doesn’t feel he can get through to her.
Excellent coaching from Ramit for a tricky relationship and financial dynamic.
She makes things happen by taking on more debt. Contrary to what she thinks, it’s not an accomplishment. Anyone can do that but it’s reckless behavior- nothing to be proud of!
"Pushing Harder" matches her Faith bs affirmations in her office. just a human surrounded by platitudes and delusion
A good wife would never willingly stress out their husband with this kind of debt. And the same goes for a good husband
Wow this comment hit real closed to home with me. Let's just say I'm the good wife
Exactly!!
🎯🎯🎯 I would rather get divorced them live with a partner who won't be financially savvy and lead me to ruin
@@daebak_hana You should know about this stuff when you get married though
I'm really surprised that private school is seen as the only investment into their kids education that is possible. If the kids need more targeted attention, and they feel the public school system is not providing enough support, I find it hard to believe that they could not find private tutors who would give their daughters one on one time, or one with all three, a few times a week. I feel like this must be less expensive than the 55k/year private school, but perhaps I'm mistaken. Also, if they are living in such a good school district, the public schools should be very good from the start, probably with Advanced Placement and Duel Enrollment (college level classes in high school) classes available. That coupled with private tutoring and spending some of the funds that would have gone to private school towards tutors and other activities seems to me like it could go a long way. Shame that they did not follow up, and hope that they find a good solution forwards!
I feel like can be a fast occuring problem with high income people. Just throw a lot of money at other people/institutions and they will take care of it. Problem solved.
No out of the box thinking or investing time or energy from yourself, just leak away huge amounts of bills.
Everything here is exactly what I was thinking. I just have a hard time believing their kids can’t go to a cheaper/free and use the extra money to fund add’l enrichments like tutoring, extracurricular activities, etc.
I agree with this! Is the expectation that private school will help them get into top schools after that? What pressure does it put on their children? What if they don’t want to go to college after? What if they do want to go to a private college after that and they don’t get any scholarships? Private school is not an all-encompassing answer to help your children achieve academic greatness.
All that and the daughters become housewives
I don’t believe for one minute Sarah would’ve home-schooled her kids. That private school wasn’t about a good education. It was about the lifestyle that school stood for.
I didn’t figure out the husband. When he said no to replacing the Tesla, I didn’t know really how complicit he was in this mess.
She can cut 3k... And never did?? WTF. I can't even deal with her. Ramit has the patience of a saint.
I question if this is actually true. Ramit didn't probe exactly what she could cut. I mean, I suppose it's possible if she is throwing out money on other things but I i was high skeptical when I heard that.
I got put in a private school my junior year because I was messing around too much in public high school. My parents waisted their money because I didn’t do any better there.
She is trying to fix her childhood and live vicariously through her kids. IMO
The other thing that’s worth considering is that the private school education fees are likely to go up, and as the girls get older… chances are they are going to want to do more extra curricular activities too.
It’s such an illuminating conversation how you can want a certain lifestyle but the manifestation culture makes people believe they can just manifest more money in a flash but it doesn’t fix habits that don’t serve you
Also kids may feel the sting when they can't afford to go on the extra school trips or skiing with their friends. Private schools also have donation expectation and I don't think their income is set up for financial aid qualifications.
@@christineknox6875 yeah i was also surprised that we didn’t see a discussion on the hidden costs of private school. I think it’s akin to the hidden costs of buying a house
This is very disappointing as I do not believe the lesson was learned. It appears they were faced with the harsh reality of their situation on the podcast however are going to resort to life as usual as evidenced by the fact they ghosted Ramit afterwards.
It appears the wife is the one driving the family into financial ruin as she is the high spender who is all about outward appearances and Kevin is left to pick up the slack. Clearly she is bent on private school and nothing else. You can see it that Kevin is relieved to know there are other options but Sarah won't bend. I feel that they are literally banking on the inheritance to finance the school and their lifestyle.
Also they would probably be better off if Sarah is not working in whatever field she is in... $36k a year in unnecessary business expenses inclusive of coaching seems like a red flag especially if not getting a ROI to do the things you want in life.
Laughable that cannot get rid of the cars because no good public transportation. They don't seem like the household that would ride the bus or subway even if their was a stop at their front door... We aren't like those people, we have a million dollar house, private schools, fancy vacations and cruises... I wouldn't be caught dead on public transportation.
Overall, the writing is on the wall. Wife has one outlook of living based on her father of spending whatever he wants (apple doesn't fall far from the tree) and Kevin is just trying to tread water and keep the boat from sinking but as in the Titanic (women and children in the life boat) he's going to drown.
She is out of touch with reality. She just wants to live in her own little perfect world. Wanting the best of everything, if she can’t have it it’s the end of the world. I think they’re gonna be trapped in this circle for the rest of their lives.
And we all feel her business is a MLM
A public school with tutors for extra help is better than a private school with no vacations, no eating out etc. It makes no sense to live like that.
At least their home life can be safe and comfortable. Wishing these two a very secure future. I commend them for sitting through the sheer stress of this call and their current situation.
Not surprised that they didn’t revert back. Large changes take time to process and they’re not obligated to share their inner dialogue/final decisions if they aren’t ready.
That's actually SUCH a good idea. Or even just hiring private tutors to come teach your children homeschooling.
My parents did private school with no money, no vacations and panic about affordable college. Would not recommend
This is sad. Ramit lays out the two paths to clean up the mess - cut the private school or keep private school and cut down on everything else - and it sounds like they end up doing neither.
And thats how you know they are screwedddd … praying for them
This happens a lot. I listened to every single episode on Spotify and I am now certain that you can lay it all out for people but they will keep doing the same thing. Only those who REALLY wanted to change did.
This is borderline if not actual emotional/financial abuse that Sarah is inflicting onto Kevin - it's clear that her dreams are financially ruining the family (designing/building her own house, putting all of their kids fully into private school, etc.)
You could see it after he mentioned that he can finally breathe. But then feels crushed at the same time because he knows that they are not changing.
And, as someone wrote earlier, she will dump him as soon as she realizes he can’t help her get what she wants.
Those poor children.
Oh please. Yes, she is utterly clueless but he should not be so passive. HE'S WHIPPED and needs to grow a pair. And he said right off the bat the he wants to be spending this much on his kid's education. And he's bothered by having to get rid of the telsa. they *both* have $2k in car payments. It's not just her.
I don’t get why this is so hard. Look at your salary - you can’t afford it. Sigh
@@sactopyrshep he might snap one day and hurt her... seeing rise in family annihilators as economy gets worse
The more I watch this the more I’m thinking that what he is saying to Sarah is going into one ear and out of the other.
She is big mad at his suggestions
I felt sorry for the husband. I got the feeling he went with private school for the girls because of his wife brainwashing him for 14 yrs about it. She looked like a high maintenance wife who got them into debt. Knew from the start they wouldn't go through it. Status is too important to her. Who would in their right mind even consider paying that much for schooling? They are not millionaires! Did you notice how relieved the husband was if they cut the $55,000/yr for private schooling? Now he'll probably die early because of the load he's carrying! Let's hope neither one of them get sick or lose their job. Just asinine!
After that discussion of how much she thought that she could cut her business expenses, a part of me wonders if her business is actually making any money (turning a profit) at all.
I feel like it’s probably a rental space for her business that she doesn’t need but helps her feel the certain “status” that she is looking for in her life.
@@Bond_MrsBondthat's where she keeps the unsold shampoo!
Poor Kevin is going to die early from the stress! He looks miserable and exhausted and so defeated. They aren't on the same page at all... Hope they figure it out. Those kids know y'all are broke or that something stressful is going on. Kids always know and they blame themselves. Get it together for them ASAP!
It’s really wild that this couple makes about the same as my husband and I but I can’t imagine having these types of bills. They must be stressed beyond imagination. Glad that Ramit is helping them!
Oh my gosh I’m so sad Ramit never heard back on how they are doing and what choices they made. Kind of bummer to get so invested in a couple changing their ways and saving their marriage. Seems like maybe it didn’t stick and they are still in trouble 😢
Our income is over $100k more than theirs, and I couldn’t imagine bills like this. We have a $750 a month car payment and I feel guilty about it every month. I cannot fathom the idea of being in this much financial trouble yet deciding to buy a Tesla. To be spending $2k a month on cars, they must have at least $130k of cars between them. It’s insane. I don’t think he touched upon it that much, but there is obviously a huge desire to appear rich and to keep up. They’re living the kind of lifestyle you’d need $500k+ to afford
@@acissej821 Of course they didn't stick to it! You can see how clueless they are.
What type of work do you do?
@@deirdrekiely6187 I work with banks launching new products
I hope they are reading the comments on these episodes and are able to understand letting go of the private school is a no-brainer. Keeping the private school and depriving kids of all activities will traumatize the kids if they were to continue in private school whereas the same kids will thrive in public school (seems like it's a top-rated district) where they will get do a lot of extracurricular activities (and they did not even discuss cost of summer camp). I hope Sarah comes to her senses. She can potentially easily cut back on 3k monthly expenses on her business/job/mlm and did not even consider that is very odd.
This episode and Sarah's lack of touch with reality and reckless spending made me sad.
I thought the same thing about the extracurricular activities. It was painful to see the activities get slashed for private school without the kids getting any voice in that. If I were them, I'd rather have my activities and go to public school.
Someone in these comments offered public school with private tutoring as an option, and I think that's brilliant.
She didn’t ever intend to cut their activities. She clearly intends to pay for them with bonuses.
I was so curious about the specific issue that one or all of the girls have that made public school so untenable. For some reason I was getting more behavioral issue vibes than learning disability vibes, but regardless… I can’t help but wonder if the constant grind and hustle to get more and chase status might have lead to some unintended parenting choices. I believe that what kids need most to thrive is loving and attentive parents who spend time connecting with and enjoying their kids. It’s so easy to neglect that when you’re working long hours and distracted by a focus on how you can get more money. Sarah teared up talking about how she wants her kids to have vacations and essentially nice stuff- but I wanted to shout at her- none of this will make you or them happy! My recommendation would have been for the parents to volunteer with a charity that serves the needy in their community. They need a wake up call that the answer to their problems is to recognize and be be grateful for their ABUNDANCE, instead of deluding themselves that more money is the only solution.
It doesn’t make sense! She had over 3000 in business expenses. She can cut it from the root! 🤯 what was she paying for?
I would not be surprised to find that she is in an MLM and is buying products, sales training, and associated expenses that don't actually make money, aka "garage qualified" to meet a certain sales requirement. There's that level of entitled #girlboss brainwashed thinking permeating the whole conversation.
She has a garage full of unsold shampoo
“That house is not the giving tree” 😂😂
This is tough to watch. No discussion on their retirement? And how will they pay for their kids' college tuition? I have many friends who are exhausted but can't retire because all of their hard earned $$ goes to the kids! There are thousands of us out there who went to terrible public schools and turned out great! Have some faith in your kids and the systems outside of educational institutes. Love Ramit's philosophy on money, and learned so much from him - but listen to Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, and David Bach to name a few to get various opinions on how to address these concerns. All the best to these two!
I know someone who sent their kid to private school even though they were having a difficult time paying for it. They’re kid didn’t get to graduate because of an unfortunate mistake. Save your money for your kids college instead. It’s more important for their future.
Also, just a side note (as I listen to this more).
Moving to a neighborhood for the school district is one thing.
Moving to a neighborhood for the school district... and then putting your kids in private school is WILD. At that point... it's all for the elite lifestyle.
Private school doesn't mean a better education. Its a flex for the mom to say her kids are in private school. The tears turn on and off on a dime. Seems like she ises this regularly against her husband. He looks tired.
The level of engagement and energy Kevin exhibits once they start discussing alternatives to private school is stunning.
I'm afraid I'm not quite optimistic for this couple. The lack of a committed follow up sounds like they're still trying to manifest living beyond their means. I just can't fathom how you can have such a high income but such a low net worth at their age. Also curious about the bookkeeping around her business, and whether she's run the numbers properly there.
I was definitely hooked by this story. I appreciate their honesty.
I think that a public school education with tons of money for extracurriculars, enrichment, any possible tutoring needs, and more money put aside for a college fund seems like such a better investment in the children's future. Also, I imagine that exposure to people outside one's own class strata is, in and of itself, education. I imagine that not doing that, is one of the ways in which we create more adults who don't know the value of a dollar.
Worst thing he ever did was marry her. Marrying the wrong person can lead you down that slippery slope of financial disaster. Also with all the stress and depression she’s going through there’s a super high chance of divorce and he will lose everything’s be start over from scratch with zero.
Totally agree. But I also feel she was once the hot young blonde. But still yes.
“We can’t sell our car. We don’t have public transportation.” Wtf it’s not either zero or a Tesla.
Run, Kevin, Run.
This hits hard. My husband and I just pulled our kids out of private school to pay off debt. We are hoping to move to a better district next year and enroll in a charter school. I homeschooled 3 years but decided to go back to work to reset. Hardest choice, worth it but so very hard.
If they are spending 150% of their income how will they survive in old age because it’s only going to get more expensive.
1. Private school is 1/3 of their gross pay
2. Private school will go up and books
3. The lifestyle that goes along with private school. The trips, the clothes, the parties, the lavishness of it all.
4. They will absolutely not get financial aid when they make 300k that’s utterly ridiculous to think that’s a possibility.
Even with the 300k inheritance that will maybe last 1 year especially because the lady is crying over building a house. I learned one thing from this series and it’s to never think people who have high incomes can manage their money
This was def the first one I watched where I’m thinking… they aren’t doing ANY of this. They know that inheritance is coming. They are going to burn it and be in the same place. You got ghosted because Sarah read the comments. You got ghosted because the husband spent the whole time on mute and doing other work on his dual screen.
yo if the husband was really doin that that would be wild
I'm only 5 minutes in, but they say they'd have to MOVE OUT OF STATE to find a public school district that would be acceptable for their children? Did I hear that correctly?
Agree. It doesn’t jibe with how they said their district sits within the state.
Public or charter schools will serve their children. Add back in some extra curricular activities and/or tutoring and they’re much further ahead than 55K to private school “lifestyle”.
Pride comes before the fall
@@rd904 showing their kids on how/why we have to make tough choices in life will benefit them. There’s big learning opportunities here. That is the real gift and education
Applying for financial aid while making 300k. Rich people stealing from the poor is the most american thing she could of said
The poor wouldn't be able to afford that school regardless of the financial aid
@@Dommy521But a family making half their income could. They are not getting it anyway. Financial aid forms are intrusive. You have to list your assets and when they see those 2 cars on the application… nope. Denied.
I went to NYC and NJ public schools and ended up at the same place as private school kids and making the same money as them.
It’s not about where you go to school, it’s about what you do with what you know. Cultivate that instead I think!
I went to public school in NJ and in my experience, the kids who went to private school needed extra help. It wasn’t about the wealth of their parents.
So many F bombs in this 😂. Ramit is my new favorite finance guy. Keepin it 100% real!
I can’t help but think how mild this is compared to if these people called Dave Ramsey 😭😂
Or Caleb
I love Ramit's approach, but I think it's a mistake not to ask WHY behind what they name as their top priorities or goals. With this couple, the reasoning why they're making private schooling a "non negotiable" is actually very important toward helping them consider other options. For example, if their "why" is about having the best quality of education, then opting instead for public school, but adding private tutors could be a good alternative that they hadn't yet thought of. If their "why" is based in a religious belief system, (e.g. preventing their children from being exposed to people or values they disagree with), then homeschooling might be the alternative they'd want to go with. While we don't get to hear more about the "why" behind the priorities this couple expresses, it is also important in understanding the belief system driving them. I know evangelical Christians who insist on private schools and this couple actually reminds me of them. In understanding their behaviors around money, a lot of their decisions come down to this sense of "choosing the options they believe God is directing them toward," then "surrendering to God" [rather than trying to figure out all of the answers and fixes themselves] because they were taught that a foundational element of their faith is "trusting that God has a plan and will take care of them if they make choices that aligned with God's will." While we don't know if this couple is indeed operating in a religious/faith-based ideology, that mindset is VERY different than the mindset of people who, for example, are driven by mere materialism, lifestyle inflation, etc.
I think Ramit doesn’t want to ask precisely because he knows this and wants to stay away from “controversial” or “political” issues.
I feel sorry for him. His very stressed about the situation while the wife has a my way or the high way attitude.
Their expenses are insane!!! Feel sorry for the husband. I think Sarah is mostly to blame here. She have a luxurious lifestyle that can’t be supported by their income. Wake up dear before it’s too late. Give up your car and your kids going into private school. It’s important to budget. Happiness doesn’t come in things alone or in looking rich.
We make about $400K but we live like we’re only earning $50K-$100K. We drive basic cars. My baby only gets hand me down clothes, toys from friends and sometimes stuff at marketplace. We’ve never step into a fine dining restaurant and have never worn expensive clothes. We have focused on savings and investments and are now a millionaire. We’re only in our F (31) M (40). We do travel a lot on budget - Airbnb. We have a big beautiful house, rental, stocks. We don’t look like we have money and it’s ok.
I feel bad for the kids because at this point if they do not do anything but great in the school their parents are sacrificing everything for and if they don't continue on to do everything their parents are grooming them to do - things will NOT go well.
I am really impressed by how you approach the discussion with such finesse; your timing and strategy in getting the couples to connect the dots on their own terms in the right time , psychologically speaking is quite incredible.
On a note about private school; it is important to understand that education comes in many different forms. Private school does not necessarily equate better school. That is coming from an Asian background where schooling is of utmost priority when my parents of course could not afford private schools but found creative ways to get me to the best school within their means (ie. Free): for example; I went to an IB French school that was free but needed an entry exam and required my to commute 45min each way; but the lesson learnt was that education was important but not necessarily in the amount of money you spend.
55 000$ is a lot of money; it means being able to spend as much as possible on amazing extracurriculars, enriching vacations, camps etc..
The Cut just put out an article called The Fleischman Effect on how these expensive private schools specifically in NYC and how that affects what would normally be considered high income earners. Like what is has the better net effect on children? Elite private schools with stressed parents in constant conflict over expenses or public school with more free spending and less stressed parents?
What happens when it's time for college? 😥
Exactly. These girls are going to be stuck with student loan debt because mom and dad were too selfish. I’m sorry if this is too blunt but it needs to be said. They are going to get zero financial aid because their income is too high. Are they banking on scholarships? What about room and board?
If I were their daughters, I would 100% rather go to public school and have financial support from my parents for college. This is such a short-sighted plan.
Seriously! Can you imagine how well they'd be set up for all living expenses paid if they put that in a 529 for college instead?!
This video makes me nauseous. I had friends of mine just like this. Making over 400K a year husband got sick and they were so in debt. They LOST EVERYTHING!!!! You see their lifestyle now. So mediocre it's sad. Good luck to their marriage. But if Sarah continues to go on this path. It's over for them. And the kids. SO SAD! Wishing them the best. God Bless!!
If Public school is a no go, Sarah needs to stop working and homeschool them. She spends way too much on her “business” to justify it. Her husband is clearly capable of earning a good income to support them if she’d drop her ego.
It is sad to hear that the couple never followed up. I bet they didn't make any of the important adjustments needed.
Almost certainly
Respectfully it might be a good option to send the kids to public school and get tutors for them over the year, it would probably would be a lot cheaper
Granted, I don't know what the public schools are like where they are but I went to public school my whole life until college and had a great education. I ended up going to Duke where almost all of my friends were also from public schools, so it strikes me as ignorant when parents are so insistent that private school is what their kids need for a quality education.
Right! Hard working students from both public and private schools end up in the same place
I think the husband gets it now but Sarah is still in denial.. $1200/month on groceries? They could have everything they want by just putting the kids in public schools, cutting the paid activities to 0, driving older used cars, and save 15%. Their kids can get a great education in college.
They definitely overspend, but groceries are expensive these days. We spend about $1200 for a family of 6, but that is after cutting back and meal planning cheaper meals.
Plus dining out and meal prep services! Just asinine.
Aaand they still spend $3k a month eating out. It’s wild.
I spend $250-300 for myself. Times 4 people is $1000-1200. I rarely eat out, so that's all my food budget.
It’s all about status for them. Not following up says it all. They didn’t change anything, and are just going to dig themselves deeper. It is sad.
This was such an enlightening episode because of how Ramit handled it with both real numbers and emotions. I'm afraid that even after all of that, the couple doesn't understand that they aren't just looking at $55k per year for private school. Those numbers will go up and then there's college. College never even came up. With such a high income they will not be eligible for need-based aid at most schools. The combined cost of private K-12 plus then college is mind-boggling and something they just won't be able to come to terms with and handle. I hope they can turn it around. Honestly, my heart hurts listening to this.
Good point about college, they are also so expensive. I guess that would go as student loans on the kid's name, doesn't look like they could help out.
To be honest 55k for 3 kids in private school is 'reasonable' when it comes to costs for private schools. However, they can't have Telsas and other BS. 2k in car notes is 24K. 10k for a 5 day cruise. 36k for eating out. That's around 70k right there. Buy a used certified car. Eat more meals in, but allot a smaller number to going out where you don't feel tied to the house. There are ways to send your kids to private school and still live. But you can't have it all.
If my LIFELONG dream was to build my own home - I would be doing EVERYTHING in my power to save every single dollar for that dream. Could be easy with that income if done right.
Right?? How do you want something so badly yet live in a way completely antithetical to making it a financial reality. Just doesn’t compute
It's hard listening to Sarah. My mom was the mostly same way, completely lying that she did things for us when it was so she could feel good. Sarah takes it to a whole other level, though. Much more 0s and fake crying.
They do not make enough for a $55k private school bill. Sarah comes off very out of touch and I suspect she's the over spender.
Another great episode! I learned so much from seeing this couple interact and about how even if someone/ or a couple makes way more than me the decisiones and how you go about spending your money in certain areas can lead u down a scary path or you can change and make A HUGE FUTURE DIFFERENCE! So good! I love learning from others mistakes and experiences!
I’ve listened to (or watched) this episode three times and I still can’t believe it. Sarah seems to perceive herself to be a victim despite immense privilege. I was especially confused about the business expenses on the personal credit cards? And if those business costs could easily be cut by 90% why we’re they consistently incurred? Seemingly recklessly with the state of their finances. why are her business expenses even on the personal credit cards? I would really struggle to trust her moving forward and be tempted to really consider whether she should have any influence over the inheritance. I’m usually so impressed with the vulnerability of Ramit’s guests and how, even if it takes them a while to get there, they become more flexible in their fixed mindsets and their role in getting them to their current situation. But something about Sarah’s approach felt so off.
Yes! She sees herself as the victim