Never a Mormon here. When I found MSP and John a little over a year ago, I thought, “Wow, John’s voice is so comforting to me.” I enjoyed watching more and more MSPs for the stories and John’s voice. Now, after listening to Margi’s voice, and watching her grow on air, I think her voice and the way she asks questions is so comforting. Either way, i am always comforted here. ❤️🙏
My dad spent my entire childhood and youth with other peoples’ sons in scouting, in Young Mens, and as a bishop. They did so many fun things with him and went on all these adventures. They got to know him and he got to know them. But I, his daughter, was a stranger. When I lost him to suicide, I heard from all these men who loved my dad and had fond memories with him. But it stung that I didn’t have those memories and experiences. It still stings.
I'm so sorry. No dad should be neglecting his daughters, Mormon or not. I wonder if the mindset is... oh she's just going to be a wife and mother... no biggie. But any good dad is going to spend time with his daughters, individually, to teach them and love them and show them what good men are all about.
I’m sorry you were dealt such an aweful hand in life. I hope you learn to find joy where you can and heal in that way. I learned a few days ago that we know we are truly healing when we accept that we don’t get to redo our childhoods. Like, yes we were wronged, but no we don’t get a redo. We only get today, so we better start making up for lost bliss now. I really really feel for you. Mine is alive, but still very much unreachable for me. At this point I don’t even know if I want to, but I have a gigantic hole needing to be filled with healing and good energy. No idea how I’m gonna do it, but I’m determined to start just moving on. I don’t get a redo, but I get now. I’m so sorry that the Mormon church too that experience from you. It’s even worse since you are told that he was a great man but you didn’t get that. I’m sending hope and healing energy for you. It’s super unfair what happened
I am so sorry, this is a old episode, but I am binging. I hope you can overcome such a heartbreaking reality. Not sure what made him end his life, but mental illness has a lot to do with him avoiding being a dad to you and being whatever to others. Our responsibility is first our home, period.
@@laurenmay2098I don’t think he intentionally avoided his daughter, but the church puts huge emphasis on young men being shepherded/supported/mentored by their bishop/leaders. It’s all about serve serve serve serve and if you don’t serve well enough you’re guilted criticised or judged. Or even demoted. That is quite a mental burden. I’m so sorry for your loss both as a teenager and your dad taking his life. It is very heartbreaking. I’m sorry that the Mormon church took him from you.
The most touching Thrive Story yet for me. I have much in common with Linda's life experiences. Margi did such a wonderful job in interviewing. "THERE IS NO WAY I"M GOING TO CHOOSE THE CHURCH OVER MY KIDS!" should be every mothers mantra. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thanks for mentioning the issue with "broken home" as a phrase. I ended my marriage due to abuse so for me, my family is a lot less broken now that I am not married anymore. It hurts on a personal level when people speak about divorce as if it's an automatic disadvantage to women and children. I believe fully that it would have been much more harmful for my children (and definitely for me) if the family had "stayed together." I feel like these words and suppositions completely erase the courage required to break the status quo to ensure safety and support mental health. Abuse is what breaks families, not protecting yourself from that abuse. ❤️
I also chose my child over the Church. My son came out as gay, then my other child came out as non-binary a year later. We were heavily involved with the Evangelical Fundamental Church (Assemblies of God). Dealt with the same things(no suicide attempt, but came close). The realization of eternity vs. here and now, the falseness of scripture/literal interpretation, the fact that the leaders had no clue how to deal with our family, the deconstructing of our beliefs....I relate to all that, even though we weren't Mormon. I went through a deep grieving--- loss of children as I knew them, faith, faith community., friends, family. It was brutal, but we are 2.5 years later and doing better than ever as a family. Thank you for sharing your story and for this podcast. This is an extremely important topic that needs a platform. Much love to all.
What a powerful, intelligent and awesome Mom for supporting her children like this and figuring out how to climb out of the Matrix. One of the most powerful Mormon Stories episodes I've watched. Damn you, Mormon Stories for sucking my life away. I can't stop watching. I hope Linda and her family, children, etc. have a wonderful life.
Margi is a very relaxed and effective interviewer, she has a natural comforting style and a pleasant warm voice, well done Margi Martin smith ( ex Mormon) uk.
Thank you for bringing up the body. I’ve felt shame since i was 12 years old. I’ve hated my body and sadly created cancer five times. this brings tears to my eyes and today i feel like i want to wrap my arms around my beautiful body and say “ i love you. Thank you.” So this hit my heart so deeply. Thank you.
You are the only person I have ever heard say “created cancer.” I believe people are learning and waking up to the real truth, that our diseases are mostly caused by our emotional/mental conflicts! I hope you fully heal and learn to love your body. I am working on it too. 🤍🤍🤍
I am loving this Thrive series. There is so much value in a long conversation. Her story unfolded in the most thoughtful, meaningful way. Between Linda’s story and Samantha Shelley’s story, this series is exactly what I needed to hear. Be willing to update and be teachable! Thank you.
I was like WOW, this woman (a new co-worker is the perfect host (pretty, confident, well spoken and the perfect compliment to the dude host) and then realized they are married. If she was on the show all the time, I would watch more. I will still watch, obviously. This is a very healing place for me. So hat's off to the lady of the house (and I am a Texan so it's a cowboy hat that I am tipping down a bit).
Spunky cat she is there a lot of the time! I love her too! I love her voice, but I really love her questions which are always kind, gentle and cushioned with intelligent thoughtful insight. They are quite a couple.
Linda Barney brings up an interesting point, when she said that the church leaders said, not to bring your extended family to the MTC, just Mom and Dad. The underlying authoritarian reason, is that they wanted to start controlling her son as quickly as possible, and of course to make their job easier to get more members to join, to fund the church's greed for power and domination.. !! What gives the church the right to start laying down the rules for HER OWN SON even before he enters the MTC? Isn't this church about keeping the family together? Why can't the church spend less money on building an MTC building and slowly train the missionaries while they are still at home, so that's it's less stressful leaving their family at such an early age. ..? The church obviously wants to remove 'parental power' as soon as possible, so they can indoctrinate the missionaries to bring new 'tithing paying members' to this 'business', disguised as a church, for the elite who enjoy all the luxury perks!! To me it sounds similar to the controlling German 'Reich Youth Leadership'. These members were organized into two age groups: 10-14 and 14-18, and divided into military units and to obey every word that was spoken. Not too different from the LDS dictatorship is it??
What an awesome interview! I sobbed during this interview when Linda talked about her son and I love how she said she is trying now to live her life like it's not a trial. I also think Margie has this genius for listening deeply and synthesizing information and putting it into perspective in a beautiful respectful way. It's super cool. ❤️
I love the rebuilding aspect of this series. My favorite question in any mormon stories interview is "What resource did you find helpful?" It's so good to understand where I could go next. What my options are. So thank you John and Margi. And thank you to all of your guests for being honest and brave. It's amazing and so healing for so many.
2:19:00 this part about garments really hit me. I can relate. I stopped wearing them in my mid 30ies. I didn't realize how disconnected I was with certain parts of my body. I've been working towards this, for example eventually ditching underwear all together in yoga class (no more ugly lines in yoga pants) and wearing a bikini in public for the first time at age 40. Still some lingering shame, coupled with trying to accept the appearance of natural aging. Wish I enjoyed my body more when I was younger.
That’s good to know you are overcoming such a situation. When I see a woman with yoga pants wearing tong underwear, I have a hard time. But it is all about the church teachings. I don’t wear them, I think it is uncomfortable, but I love to pass the judgment. It is all about my thinking, not reality.
This is such a poignant and heartfelt interview especially the part about her gay son having anxiety about serving a mission, wishing that he wouldn't reach the age of 18 so he wouldn't have to serve a mission. I could personally relate as someone who never felt excited with serving a mission, only dread.
In my country military services are mandatory. You might not serve for some reasons that are in the law. Being the only son and working to help the household. Having health issues, and hight. I am sure there are other, but I think the mission robbed kids two years of their lives. Same for military, unless you decided freely to do so. But in a Mormon family is already expected of you. That’s not fair.
This is one of the most powerful interviews on this podcast. I have so much respect for her. If only my parents could have had the strength and humility to show real love as she has. I know her advice will help so many people.
Thank you Margi and John for this series. I love the way you two host together and the way you treat each other. Linda, would you ever consider recording your beautiful nightly meditation so that struggling newbies like myself could listen to it while we walk? I’d also love a video of your nightly yoga! ;) It’s hard to know where to start, but your ideas are really inspiring! Thank you for sharing!
I absolutely love everything about this beautiful interview! Both women touched my heart and helped me to fully understand the mother I aspire to be from here forward. ❤️
Nevermo here. I’m so honored to listen to this. I don’t have kids, but I went to an arts school in the 90’s and early 2000’s. I went to school with lots of kids that were part of the lgbtqia community. I 😂watched many transitions. My best friend at the time decided to wear a dress to prom. He made me so happy to be his friend. I made my mistakes and said all the wrong things, which today has made me a better ally. Thank you for sharing these amazing and courageous stories. It is good to know that people get out of the high pressure religions and live beautiful lives. ❤
The Church teaches that there is nothing greater than the family. When I served my mission, and overcame the mission politics, I ended up a an Assistant to the President of our mission. I had to sit in on at least 10 tribunals to send gay missionaries home. One of my companions was gay, was sent home, his family ordered him to get married, and he says he is happy, but I know that he isn't. Another one who was from a family very well known in the Church. If I said his last name you'd all know it. I bumped into him after our mission, at BYU and he came out to me. He knew that I would not judge him. He fell for a guy in Salt Lake City, dropped out of school and his parents disowned him. He became depressed and a few years later I heard that he has committed suicide. Linda Barney is a loving good mother. You don't abandon or disown your kids because they happen to be gay or bi, or transgender. You just don't. It's against Christ. Linda did the right thing.
What a great interview. Thanks Linda for sharing so much & being vulnerable. Many will resonate with your struggles & successes. Some parents get lucky and have one lgbtq kid- Linda has TWO! Twice the “blessings”! I like the idea of pairing morning coffee with personal check-ins.
I would highly encourage EVERY LDS person who has a non member or inactive family member to do a civil ceremony first and then do the sealing later. The church has NEVER had a marriage ordinance and that is why couples who are sealed years into their marriage DO NOT have to get remarried. I had my brother at my wedding and my hubs had his ward. Yeah, it was less than it could have been.
@@mormonstories They could definitely be escorted into the room without revealing any "secrets" since those rooms are used only for sealing and temple wear is not required. On the other hand, why make the marriage ceremony in the temple more important than it is outside. Same exact significance.
I just checked my old program and I saw Jaron when the show came to Kansas City! That's so cool! The cast did an incredible job! Edit: queer nevermo ex-southern baptist who isn't out to her family yet. I just want to say your love for your kids shines through and I hope my parents show even half of the love you showed your kids after I come out. ❤
The church didn’t allowed me to go to my siblings temple weddings, … I was in my twenties, full tithe payer, very active in the church, true believer, with callings and everything…. But because I was single and didn’t went to a mission yet, I didn’t have a temple recommend, therefore couldn’t be inside the temple, while all the family was participating in the wedding ceremony, I had to wait outside.
The funny thing is that at 8 years old I got to go inside the temple to be sealed to my parents and brothers, but for my siblings marriages I wasn’t allowed to be in that same room.
Thanks Linda for your story. You’re free my friend, run like the wind, happy trails. Thank you John and your wife for your program. I wish I could talk with you both. Im carrying my exit by myself, can’t let my wife know. It would be to much for her and she’s my number 1.
Around 2:17:15 I love this!!!! When you realized that you married a normal man!!! NOT someone with the power of God who would be perfect in leading you to the celestial kingdom, but someone who gets to be human…who makes mistakes and is worth loving like crazy in and through all of it! How many marriages and families have been split up and justified in that because one of the spouses was simply a human instead of a god in the making? I just love that realization that deep love can be felt (and is probably more likely to be felt) when someone is truly accepted for who they are…flaws and all.
Linda! I was scrolling through Mormon Stories and I recognized your face! It was you. You are a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your amazing story! ❤ So much love for you and your family. ❤🙏
Its comforting to hear her talk about how traumatizing the missionary experience is for families. ESPECIALLY the days when the only communication was on Christmas and Mother’s Day. The missionary experience now, being able to have Facebook and phone is a total slap in the face to all those who didn’t experience it that way.
So since u agreed to rigid ridiculous rules u r upset that others werent abused in the same way u were? Maybe if u all refused to do missionary work under those draconian conditions the church would have made proper changes. Clearly the mormon religion changes all the time based upon pressure...usually societal pressure. Nothing in this religion is sacred and cannot be altered by "new" revelation...be more upset w yourself bc of your willingness to accept abuse.
@@melk6049 You are making a lot of assumptions and taking my comment into a different context. When my sibling went on his mission I was a 12 year old child. I and most members of the church didn't/couldn't agree to the practices because most people are raised in it and that is all they know. I left the church when I was an 18 year old adult and could make my own choices.
It has never struck me so hard until watching this video how much the Mormon church says that they are all about families but how much they actually separate and divide families. What is the point of keeping loving family members out of a wedding of someone they love? What is the point in making it so a missionary can’t communicate with their family every day? How many families have been divided and damaged because one of the members wasn’t following the standards so they were ostracized or abandoned in some way?😢😢😢
Not mormon, but most definitely a high demand religious background. I poured myself into checking off all the appropriate boxes. Tried so hard but could never attain.... I left the church broken into a million tiny shards. . I can't begin to explain how much this content is helping deconstruct it all. Thank you all
What a beautiful ending to a very hard story. I cried, seeing myself in her shoes......so glad she told her story. I wish my parents (fundamental baptist) would listen to it. They won't, but I wish they would. 😢
What a beautiful story. Your two LGBT+ kids are so lucky to have you as their Mum (New Zealander here) and I've just had a sneak peek at images of Sequoia. What a beauty. I've never been a Mormon either and the whole Mormon experience confuses me no end but I love MSP and loved this interview as well as the one John and Nemo did with PD.
Watching all these stories about Mormon makes me think there needs to be a podcast like this for "normal" Christen sects. Because I think most religions are cult like. Because they want you conform to what they think is right even if it is harmful.
Harmonic Atheist is another channel I would recommend. He was a Baptist pastor and is very knowledgeable about scripture/protestant theology. He gets into the similarities of scripture and Greek mythology. It's very eye-opening. He frequently interviews people who've deconstructed from Christianity. Also, scholars and authors, and those who study theology in depth.
Minute 9:15- Oh Jees, I used to have to euthanize animals (mostly strays) as part of my job in the military (5 years) and putting an animal down just because it wondered into a place isn't fun and truly is something that is thought about way past it's done. I bet he has a number in his head that only he knows. Everyone I know who has had to euth anything, has a number in their head. No one wants to take out an animal that is just wondering around. We need to get out of their way, not the other way around. It isn't something you talk about because you simply can't without choking up or acting like it doesn't bother you. I promise it bothers the person who had to do it. Sorry it affected the childhood though. xoxo
I've recently struggled to come out to my parents as transgender and while I was pretty sure they would never disown me, I still had a hard time telling them. I think it's because I knew that, on some level, I would be asking them to choose between me and the church. Even when I know that they would always choose me, it's still shitty to have to force them into that position.
I hope your coming to you family as transgender is going well. My spouse came out to me as transgender 5 years ago and I quickly decided I had to support her in her transition and I recommend that you ask your parents to watch this particular Mormon Stories episode and I truly hope that it goes well for you and that you must remember you must behave as if you are your own best friend because you are.
I had to come out to my parents as trans two years ago and it was wildly difficult. I knew they’d be supportive, and even still it was so difficult. It was easier for me to tell them I was leaving the church ten years ago. It’s just so big and complicated and intensely personal, your gender. I didn’t think they could actually understand. Such an enormous life change.
I’m grateful for your podcast and the bravery and condor of your guests. They share their stories and it’s truly a gift to others in their journeys. God bless.
The idea that you need to parent from a place where you have LGBTQIA kids is irrelevant, you have to parent your kids to be good humans regardless of orientation and gender.
Pimary was my favorite time in the church. Maybe because as kids we don't think about other things other than play and meet with other kids. I wish I never grew up and stay in primary forver.
Just soooo shocked people just believe all a church has to say. I’m simply saying I don’t understand the control of your life you give away. Hope peace is found.
I have a bad habit of asking myself why my mom won’t do what this mother did and accept my sexuality despite what she believed. What I should be saying is it’s a damn shame that she won’t set aside her beliefs and accept me. It’s not because I’m so inadequate as a daughter that my mom won’t choose me over her religion. It says more about where she’s at than where I’m at.
What a great episode! I relate to the brain cancer analogy and my kids mental health led me to leave. Family really is the most important thing, and the Mormon church exploits human nature to separate families and con believers out of money, time, and life.
I am raised Catholic and was taught I would see Jesus and my family when I passed on to the next reality. I don’t think it is so defined as in the Mormon faith. I also remember my dad seeking out the Mormons on a trip through Utah to California. Mom put her foot down with a big no!
My family constantly tell me I’m nothing but a disappointment to them because I am not a religious zealot I’m not ultra religious die hard and after I told my family I’m not going to church I’m not interested in the Mormon church because my entire life my mom and step dad forced me to go to church constantly and if I dared say no to something or I were to dare question or dare to state my own feelings and opinions about the church they would use guilt trips they would use threats they would use intimidation tactics and I’m autistic and whenever I get ultra upset or angry it can take me months to calm back down the last time I went to the Mormon church my branch president openly at the pulpit told people in the church not to speak to me or to be friend me because of a group I did business with in my home I was slapped I was threatened I was constantly told I was handicap and or retarded my step dad was a detective and he used his badge and power as a way to threaten me not to question his demands and my mom is basically the type of person who’s to scared to voice her opinions so I grew up under constant verbal or physical abuse and no one believes to this day that my step dad uses the churches guilt trip and attempted brainwashing on me to this day
I don't really have much of a story to tell. It's really boring. I was a convert. I was a non-Mormon for longer than I was a convert for. So, I walked away really easily.
What I hear that echoes what I remember: * Homophobia is much more important than peoples' safety * Anti-medication rhetoric that is from ignorance not good sense * Your whole church-life planned for you when you are a baby * High demand LDS, robs parents/children of positive time * Self-blame, shame, and ignorance leads to bad outcomes for all -=- Sure, you can say this is common to many churches or those without church. But I remember it being much LOUDER and pervasive than other places I went. Not the same. F*** eternity, indeed. The "pie in the sky - that's a lie" revelation is a hard one but a good one once you get through it [there is a song you can listen to on youtube about it].
This story was too much for me. I feel sorry for Linda. Don’t know how she will be able to go forward. In her past. she was a follower. I wish her much strength going forward.
I love to see mothers that put their children first. I wasn't raised in any religion as my mom always told me that I can pray anytime from anywhere. When I was in my 30s I became a single mom and always put my son first. My son is 31 y/o and has never smoked or drank or got into trouble with the law. You don't need religion to be a good person or to love God.
All religions require blind faith. Close you eyes, imagine this! I used to think I couldn’t ever be pulled into a cult. I was so sure it could never happen… then I joined a Catholic Church. Because I haven’t been brainwashed yet, I learn , ask questions, and listen well. Holy hell, I’m in a friggan cult. So I in search of a place to worship, went back to my childhood baptist roots. I looked listened well… holy hell , what’s happening here? Wow! Again…cultish events and or requirements. Ok I’m out …
Wonderful story and content, Linda is so sincere and sweet. I hope the true Christian gospel prevails with those that have not had a good experience with "religion".
What a response! I’m listening to this woman talk about her child’s suicide, and all her other trials. Last thing on my mind is “ well… I hopes she finds the right Jesus.”
Why do you have the subtitles off? I depend on them to understand what is being said as I am partially deaf. Help. Please make this available in the future! I would really appreciate it. Thanks, Jojo from Mississauga Ontario in Canada
I always wondered how if we were “sealed” and then our children went their way and were sealed to spouses who were sealed to other of their family members etc. or not. How would that all work? And my wonderful grandma who was the second wife of a man and had four children with him and when he died and she married my Mormon grandfather, she had to choose him instead of the father of her children. Wasn’t fair to me. “God would work it all out”. Yeah, right. He was going to have a lot of working out to do😇. It’s just a way to scare us into getting $$$. It’s destroying my daughter’s marriage as we speak. She has lost her faith and her husband (, who has three Master’s Degrees) is VERY ANAL as we call it and is accusing her of destroying their forever family. Yet he doesn’t want to know what destroyed her faith or do any research. I foresee a divorce.
You are an amazing couple! We were stationed at Hill AFB in Ogden. Did not feel welcome in the community. We needed guidance to know how our children would be ‘shunned’ in our neighborhood. Of course, we sold our home at top dollar for a family that wanted to live in that ward. We moved to the Air Force base and let our kids embrace the multi-cultural and racial diversity in the AFB. Love the beauty of Utah - don’t love the culture. Yet, we are white and blonde people. That is a requirement, right?
The Mormon Church is so mean and judgemental. These kids and people have no choice in their sexuality, I had a gay brother who was gay as long as I can remember and he was judged harshly, hurt and rejected by the Mormons and I now have a gay son who didn't choose to be gay he was gay from the time he was tiny...he always liked girl things. He was diagnosed with autism and being gay dealt two very tough cards...now he is an amazing song writer, performer, producer and recording artist...he's an amazing kid...He's healthy and happy.
![BabyChiefDoit - Too Slow (feat. STAR BANDZ) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zayaxws7RPg/mqdefault.jpg)
Never a Mormon here. When I found MSP and John a little over a year ago, I thought, “Wow, John’s voice is so comforting to me.” I enjoyed watching more and more MSPs for the stories and John’s voice. Now, after listening to Margi’s voice, and watching her grow on air, I think her voice and the way she asks questions is so comforting. Either way, i am always comforted here. ❤️🙏
I know, she's like the girl version of him. I LOVE this.
@@tananario Just stop.
I agree 💗
me too
I can’t agree enough. I’m not, never have been, a Mormon. This show is so very comforting. John especially, and Margi too
My dad spent my entire childhood and youth with other peoples’ sons in scouting, in Young Mens, and as a bishop. They did so many fun things with him and went on all these adventures. They got to know him and he got to know them. But I, his daughter, was a stranger. When I lost him to suicide, I heard from all these men who loved my dad and had fond memories with him. But it stung that I didn’t have those memories and experiences. It still stings.
So sad
I'm so sorry. No dad should be neglecting his daughters, Mormon or not. I wonder if the mindset is... oh she's just going to be a wife and mother... no biggie. But any good dad is going to spend time with his daughters, individually, to teach them and love them and show them what good men are all about.
I’m sorry you were dealt such an aweful hand in life. I hope you learn to find joy where you can and heal in that way. I learned a few days ago that we know we are truly healing when we accept that we don’t get to redo our childhoods. Like, yes we were wronged, but no we don’t get a redo. We only get today, so we better start making up for lost bliss now. I really really feel for you. Mine is alive, but still very much unreachable for me. At this point I don’t even know if I want to, but I have a gigantic hole needing to be filled with healing and good energy. No idea how I’m gonna do it, but I’m determined to start just moving on. I don’t get a redo, but I get now.
I’m so sorry that the Mormon church too that experience from you. It’s even worse since you are told that he was a great man but you didn’t get that. I’m sending hope and healing energy for you. It’s super unfair what happened
I am so sorry, this is a old episode, but I am binging. I hope you can overcome such a heartbreaking reality. Not sure what made him end his life, but mental illness has a lot to do with him avoiding being a dad to you and being whatever to others. Our responsibility is first our home, period.
@@laurenmay2098I don’t think he intentionally avoided his daughter, but the church puts huge emphasis on young men being shepherded/supported/mentored by their bishop/leaders. It’s all about serve serve serve serve and if you don’t serve well enough you’re guilted criticised or judged. Or even demoted. That is quite a mental burden.
I’m so sorry for your loss both as a teenager and your dad taking his life. It is very heartbreaking. I’m sorry that the Mormon church took him from you.
The most touching Thrive Story yet for me. I have much in common with Linda's life experiences. Margi did such a wonderful job in interviewing. "THERE IS NO WAY I"M GOING TO CHOOSE THE CHURCH OVER MY KIDS!" should be every mothers mantra. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Many chose work over children, partners, addiction. Being human is not easy. I am so guilty of some of this mess. But never giving up on learning.
Thanks for mentioning the issue with "broken home" as a phrase. I ended my marriage due to abuse so for me, my family is a lot less broken now that I am not married anymore. It hurts on a personal level when people speak about divorce as if it's an automatic disadvantage to women and children. I believe fully that it would have been much more harmful for my children (and definitely for me) if the family had "stayed together." I feel like these words and suppositions completely erase the courage required to break the status quo to ensure safety and support mental health. Abuse is what breaks families, not protecting yourself from that abuse. ❤️
You are so right - I never thought of it that way. Thank you for opening my eyes! Well said!
Well put.
Margi is such a great interviewer.
Yes, she is!
I also chose my child over the Church. My son came out as gay, then my other child came out as non-binary a year later. We were heavily involved with the Evangelical Fundamental Church (Assemblies of God). Dealt with the same things(no suicide attempt, but came close).
The realization of eternity vs. here and now, the falseness of scripture/literal interpretation, the fact that the leaders had no clue how to deal with our family, the deconstructing of our beliefs....I relate to all that, even though we weren't Mormon. I went through a deep grieving--- loss of children as I knew them, faith, faith community., friends, family. It was brutal, but we are 2.5 years later and doing better than ever as a family. Thank you for sharing your story and for this podcast. This is an extremely important topic that needs a platform. Much love to all.
What a powerful, intelligent and awesome Mom for supporting her children like this and figuring out how to climb out of the Matrix. One of the most powerful Mormon Stories episodes I've watched. Damn you, Mormon Stories for sucking my life away. I can't stop watching. I hope Linda and her family, children, etc. have a wonderful life.
Perhaps the most profound episode I have watched. Wow...just wow. Thanks to all.
Margi is a very relaxed and effective interviewer, she has a natural comforting style and a pleasant warm voice, well done Margi
Martin smith ( ex Mormon) uk.
Thank you for bringing up the body. I’ve felt shame since i was 12 years old. I’ve hated my body and sadly created cancer five times. this brings tears to my eyes and today i feel like i want to wrap my arms around my beautiful body and say “ i love you. Thank you.” So this hit my heart so deeply. Thank you.
You are the only person I have ever heard say “created cancer.” I believe people are learning and waking up to the real truth, that our diseases are mostly caused by our emotional/mental conflicts! I hope you fully heal and learn to love your body. I am working on it too. 🤍🤍🤍
I am loving this Thrive series.
There is so much value in a long conversation. Her story unfolded in the most thoughtful, meaningful way.
Between Linda’s story and Samantha Shelley’s story, this series is exactly what I needed to hear.
Be willing to update and be teachable!
Thank you.
I almost cried during Linda's meditation. It was so beautiful. It gave me such peace to hear it
Starts @2:54:11
Thank you for being so vulnerable. This is so touching. My heart to yours.
I was like WOW, this woman (a new co-worker is the perfect host (pretty, confident, well spoken and the perfect compliment to the dude host) and then realized they are married. If she was on the show all the time, I would watch more. I will still watch, obviously. This is a very healing place for me. So hat's off to the lady of the house (and I am a Texan so it's a cowboy hat that I am tipping down a bit).
Yes, love Margi.
Spunky cat she is there a lot of the time! I love her too! I love her voice, but I really love her questions which are always kind, gentle and cushioned with intelligent thoughtful insight. They are quite a couple.
She is a huge part of the show !!! Absolutely
Linda Barney brings up an interesting point, when she said that the church leaders said, not to bring your extended family to the MTC, just Mom and Dad. The underlying authoritarian reason, is that they wanted to start controlling her son as quickly as possible, and of course to make their job easier to get more members to join, to fund the church's greed for power and domination.. !!
What gives the church the right to start laying down the rules for HER OWN SON even before he enters the MTC? Isn't this church about keeping the family together?
Why can't the church spend less money on building an MTC building and slowly train the missionaries while they are still at home, so that's it's less stressful leaving their family at such an early age. ..?
The church obviously wants to remove 'parental power' as soon as possible, so they can indoctrinate the missionaries to bring new 'tithing paying members' to this 'business', disguised as a church, for the elite who enjoy all the luxury perks!!
To me it sounds similar to the controlling German 'Reich Youth Leadership'. These members were organized into two age groups: 10-14 and 14-18, and divided into military units and to obey every word that was spoken.
Not too different from the LDS dictatorship is it??
“Be willing to update.” Such a great bit of advice!
What an awesome interview! I sobbed during this interview when Linda talked about her son and I love how she said she is trying now to live her life like it's not a trial. I also think Margie has this genius for listening deeply and synthesizing information and putting it into perspective in a beautiful respectful way. It's super cool. ❤️
A wonderful, courageous lady and an even more wonderful mother. I cried for her listening to her story. One of the best podcasts so far.
I love the rebuilding aspect of this series. My favorite question in any mormon stories interview is "What resource did you find helpful?" It's so good to understand where I could go next. What my options are. So thank you John and Margi. And thank you to all of your guests for being honest and brave. It's amazing and so healing for so many.
2:19:00 this part about garments really hit me. I can relate. I stopped wearing them in my mid 30ies. I didn't realize how disconnected I was with certain parts of my body. I've been working towards this, for example eventually ditching underwear all together in yoga class (no more ugly lines in yoga pants) and wearing a bikini in public for the first time at age 40. Still some lingering shame, coupled with trying to accept the appearance of natural aging. Wish I enjoyed my body more when I was younger.
That’s good to know you are overcoming such a situation. When I see a woman with yoga pants wearing tong underwear, I have a hard time. But it is all about the church teachings. I don’t wear them, I think it is uncomfortable, but I love to pass the judgment. It is all about my thinking, not reality.
This is such a poignant and heartfelt interview especially the part about her gay son having anxiety about serving a mission, wishing that he wouldn't reach the age of 18 so he wouldn't have to serve a mission. I could personally relate as someone who never felt excited with serving a mission, only dread.
In my country military services are mandatory. You might not serve for some reasons that are in the law. Being the only son and working to help the household. Having health issues, and hight. I am sure there are other, but I think the mission robbed kids two years of their lives. Same for military, unless you decided freely to do so. But in a Mormon family is already expected of you. That’s not fair.
This is one of the most powerful interviews on this podcast. I have so much respect for her. If only my parents could have had the strength and humility to show real love as she has. I know her advice will help so many people.
Thank you Margi and John for this series. I love the way you two host together and the way you treat each other.
Linda, would you ever consider recording your beautiful nightly meditation so that struggling newbies like myself could listen to it while we walk? I’d also love a video of your nightly yoga! ;)
It’s hard to know where to start, but your ideas are really inspiring! Thank you for sharing!
A thoughtful, insightful interview. Thank you for sharing. I love Margi’s voice … intelligent and empathetic.
This was a fantastic episode. There’s so much beauty and strength in being teachable and open to change. Thank you for sharing, Linda!
I absolutely love everything about this beautiful interview! Both women touched my heart and helped me to fully understand the mother I aspire to be from here forward. ❤️
Nevermo here. I’m so honored to listen to this. I don’t have kids, but I went to an arts school in the 90’s and early 2000’s. I went to school with lots of kids that were part of the lgbtqia community. I 😂watched many transitions. My best friend at the time decided to wear a dress to prom. He made me so happy to be his friend. I made my mistakes and said all the wrong things, which today has made me a better ally. Thank you for sharing these amazing and courageous stories. It is good to know that people get out of the high pressure religions and live beautiful lives. ❤
She is wonderful and had so much wisdom to share to me and my children… thank you!🇨🇦🇨🇦❤️
The Church teaches that there is nothing greater than the family. When I served my mission, and overcame the mission politics, I ended up a an Assistant to the President of our mission. I had to sit in on at least 10 tribunals to send gay missionaries home. One of my companions was gay, was sent home, his family ordered him to get married, and he says he is happy, but I know that he isn't. Another one who was from a family very well known in the Church. If I said his last name you'd all know it. I bumped into him after our mission, at BYU and he came out to me. He knew that I would not judge him. He fell for a guy in Salt Lake City, dropped out of school and his parents disowned him. He became depressed and a few years later I heard that he has committed suicide. Linda Barney is a loving good mother. You don't abandon or disown your kids because they happen to be gay or bi, or transgender. You just don't. It's against Christ. Linda did the right thing.
Heartbreaking
Don’t just point your finger at the LDS church because it goes on across all rely.
@@selfimprovement.1925 You're sitting astride a very tall horse, do you need a ladder?
What a lovely, beautiful, inspiring individual and life story!! I am so touched. Just awesome.
I have been watching Mormon Stories Podcasts for quite awhile. This is the best one.
Such a touching and inspirational story.
What a great interview. Thanks Linda for sharing so much & being vulnerable. Many will resonate with your struggles & successes. Some parents get lucky and have one lgbtq kid- Linda has TWO! Twice the “blessings”!
I like the idea of pairing morning coffee with personal check-ins.
My second time watching this discussion. I have learned something new watching this again. Thank you one and all!👏🌷💕❤️🌷
I can relate with fear at home and safety at church. My dad was abusive my mom too so it was church and peace. Till church wasn’t safe anymore.
I'm so sorry!
I would highly encourage EVERY LDS person who has a non member or inactive family member to do a civil ceremony first and then do the sealing later. The church has NEVER had a marriage ordinance and that is why couples who are sealed years into their marriage DO NOT have to get remarried. I had my brother at my wedding and my hubs had his ward. Yeah, it was less than it could have been.
I agree with you and I also think the church should allow immediate family in the temple for sealing ceremonies/weddings. - Jenn
@@mormonstories They could definitely be escorted into the room without revealing any "secrets" since those rooms are used only for sealing and temple wear is not required. On the other hand, why make the marriage ceremony in the temple more important than it is outside. Same exact significance.
I just checked my old program and I saw Jaron when the show came to Kansas City! That's so cool! The cast did an incredible job!
Edit: queer nevermo ex-southern baptist who isn't out to her family yet. I just want to say your love for your kids shines through and I hope my parents show even half of the love you showed your kids after I come out. ❤
So powerful, open and honest. Extremely genuine mother's love who was brave enough to let the truth sink in...Fine caring woman!
So raw. You are an amazing woman, mother, and advocate. God has blessed us with your story.
The church didn’t allowed me to go to my siblings temple weddings, … I was in my twenties, full tithe payer, very active in the church, true believer, with callings and everything…. But because I was single and didn’t went to a mission yet, I didn’t have a temple recommend, therefore couldn’t be inside the temple, while all the family was participating in the wedding ceremony, I had to wait outside.
The funny thing is that at 8 years old I got to go inside the temple to be sealed to my parents and brothers, but for my siblings marriages I wasn’t allowed to be in that same room.
@@edithC437 That's horrible, so sorry 😢
Thanks Linda for your story.
You’re free my friend, run like the wind, happy trails.
Thank you John and your wife for your program. I wish I could talk with you both. Im carrying my exit by myself, can’t let my wife know. It would be to much for her and she’s my number 1.
Around 2:17:15 I love this!!!! When you realized that you married a normal man!!! NOT someone with the power of God who would be perfect in leading you to the celestial kingdom, but someone who gets to be human…who makes mistakes and is worth loving like crazy in and through all of it!
How many marriages and families have been split up and justified in that because one of the spouses was simply a human instead of a god in the making?
I just love that realization that deep love can be felt (and is probably more likely to be felt) when someone is truly accepted for who they are…flaws and all.
Linda! I was scrolling through Mormon Stories and I recognized your face! It was you. You are a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your amazing story! ❤ So much love for you and your family. ❤🙏
“I just want to punch you in the face”…. 😂😂 I love this interview
Its comforting to hear her talk about how traumatizing the missionary experience is for families. ESPECIALLY the days when the only communication was on Christmas and Mother’s Day. The missionary experience now, being able to have Facebook and phone is a total slap in the face to all those who didn’t experience it that way.
So since u agreed to rigid ridiculous rules u r upset that others werent abused in the same way u were? Maybe if u all refused to do missionary work under those draconian conditions the church would have made proper changes. Clearly the mormon religion changes all the time based upon pressure...usually societal pressure. Nothing in this religion is sacred and cannot be altered by "new" revelation...be more upset w yourself bc of your willingness to accept abuse.
@@melk6049 You are making a lot of assumptions and taking my comment into a different context. When my sibling went on his mission I was a 12 year old child. I and most members of the church didn't/couldn't agree to the practices because most people are raised in it and that is all they know. I left the church when I was an 18 year old adult and could make my own choices.
@@C-dunbrook ok so then i mean the "you" in the larger sense of the word since you, specifically, didnt go on a mission and accept this abuse
Margi is such a beautiful and empathetic soul! I could listen to her all day ❤
It's called the Mormon dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.
🤣
L😂😂😂L!!
ExJW Solidarity!
Great educational comments by both Margi and John.
It has never struck me so hard until watching this video how much the Mormon church says that they are all about families but how much they actually separate and divide families. What is the point of keeping loving family members out of a wedding of someone they love? What is the point in making it so a missionary can’t communicate with their family every day? How many families have been divided and damaged because one of the members wasn’t following the standards so they were ostracized or abandoned in some way?😢😢😢
Not mormon, but most definitely a high demand religious background. I poured myself into checking off all the appropriate boxes. Tried so hard but could never attain.... I left the church broken into a million tiny shards. . I can't begin to explain how much this content is helping deconstruct it all. Thank you all
Thank you to Linda for speaking her truth. I have never been Mormon but her words spoke to me.
Loved this! What an amazing, strong, thoughtful woman! Thank you!
At 1:29:40s I cracked up so hard about the twirling on the football field. Magic can’t be dimmed no matter the terrible sports uniform! 🎉
What a beautiful ending to a very hard story. I cried, seeing myself in her shoes......so glad she told her story. I wish my parents (fundamental baptist) would listen to it. They won't, but I wish they would. 😢
❤
❤
What a beautiful story. Your two LGBT+ kids are so lucky to have you as their Mum (New Zealander here) and I've just had a sneak peek at images of Sequoia. What a beauty. I've never been a Mormon either and the whole Mormon experience confuses me no end but I love MSP and loved this interview as well as the one John and Nemo did with PD.
I love Margi
What a wonderful interview. Thank you.
Watching all these stories about Mormon makes me think there needs to be a podcast like this for "normal" Christen sects. Because I think most religions are cult like. Because they want you conform to what they think is right even if it is harmful.
There is the channel "genetically modified skeptic" who talks about leaving protestantism with his wife.
@T Z I sincerely hope you never experience it, but I encourage you to hear people's stories and meet them where they are, with compassion.
Harmonic Atheist is another channel I would recommend. He was a Baptist pastor and is very knowledgeable about scripture/protestant theology. He gets into the similarities of scripture and Greek mythology. It's very eye-opening. He frequently interviews people who've deconstructed from Christianity. Also, scholars and authors, and those who study theology in depth.
Cults to Consciousness covers a broad range of different high demand religions, check it out.
What an awesome story!
Cried. Such a good episode
How moving. Thank you.
"We will try to keep this to two hours"...three hours later...
😂
Minute 9:15- Oh Jees, I used to have to euthanize animals (mostly strays) as part of my job in the military (5 years) and putting an animal down just because it wondered into a place isn't fun and truly is something that is thought about way past it's done. I bet he has a number in his head that only he knows. Everyone I know who has had to euth anything, has a number in their head. No one wants to take out an animal that is just wondering around. We need to get out of their way, not the other way around. It isn't something you talk about because you simply can't without choking up or acting like it doesn't bother you. I promise it bothers the person who had to do it. Sorry it affected the childhood though. xoxo
Thanks for that inspiring story.
I've recently struggled to come out to my parents as transgender and while I was pretty sure they would never disown me, I still had a hard time telling them. I think it's because I knew that, on some level, I would be asking them to choose between me and the church. Even when I know that they would always choose me, it's still shitty to have to force them into that position.
I hope your coming to you family as transgender is going well. My spouse came out to me as transgender 5 years ago and I quickly decided I had to support her in her transition and I recommend that you ask your parents to watch this particular Mormon Stories episode and I truly hope that it goes well for you and that you must remember you must behave as if you are your own best friend because you are.
I had to come out to my parents as trans two years ago and it was wildly difficult. I knew they’d be supportive, and even still it was so difficult. It was easier for me to tell them I was leaving the church ten years ago.
It’s just so big and complicated and intensely personal, your gender. I didn’t think they could actually understand. Such an enormous life change.
I’m grateful for your podcast and the bravery and condor of your guests. They share their stories and it’s truly a gift to others in their journeys. God bless.
The idea that you need to parent from a place where you have LGBTQIA kids is irrelevant, you have to parent your kids to be good humans regardless of orientation and gender.
I have told my boys you can tell me anything and I will never stop loving you. You are my child.
Awesome video! THank you!
Margi is wonderul!! I like her so much. This is the first time I've heard her. Much better with the softer tone and she really lets the guest speak.
Very much Appreciate You'all 👏 OLD G 😉
I would have liked to have known more about how her marriage is working since she left the Mormon Church. It sounds like her husband is still Mormon?
Pimary was my favorite time in the church. Maybe because as kids we don't think about other things other than play and meet with other kids. I wish I never grew up and stay in primary forver.
Just soooo shocked people just believe all a church has to say. I’m simply saying I don’t understand the control of your life you give away. Hope peace is found.
Hey Mormons….leave them kids alone!!!!
I have a bad habit of asking myself why my mom won’t do what this mother did and accept my sexuality despite what she believed. What I should be saying is it’s a damn shame that she won’t set aside her beliefs and accept me. It’s not because I’m so inadequate as a daughter that my mom won’t choose me over her religion. It says more about where she’s at than where I’m at.
What a great episode! I relate to the brain cancer analogy and my kids mental health led me to leave. Family really is the most important thing, and the Mormon church exploits human nature to separate families and con believers out of money, time, and life.
I am raised Catholic and was taught I would see Jesus and my family when I passed on to the next reality. I don’t think it is so defined as in the Mormon faith. I also remember my dad seeking out the Mormons on a trip through Utah to California. Mom put her foot down with a big no!
My family constantly tell me I’m nothing but a disappointment to them because I am not a religious zealot I’m not ultra religious die hard and after I told my family I’m not going to church I’m not interested in the Mormon church because my entire life my mom and step dad forced me to go to church constantly and if I dared say no to something or I were to dare question or dare to state my own feelings and opinions about the church they would use guilt trips they would use threats they would use intimidation tactics and I’m autistic and whenever I get ultra upset or angry it can take me months to calm back down the last time I went to the Mormon church my branch president openly at the pulpit told people in the church not to speak to me or to be friend me because of a group I did business with in my home I was slapped I was threatened I was constantly told I was handicap and or retarded my step dad was a detective and he used his badge and power as a way to threaten me not to question his demands and my mom is basically the type of person who’s to scared to voice her opinions so I grew up under constant verbal or physical abuse and no one believes to this day that my step dad uses the churches guilt trip and attempted brainwashing on me to this day
❤ to you.
The mormon church, the sad place, where non thinkers go.
It's so interesting that when it's our children we'll lose our judgment. I think we need to learn from that. If it was our child, how would we feel?
I don't really have much of a story to tell. It's really boring. I was a convert. I was a non-Mormon for longer than I was a convert for. So, I walked away really easily.
So powerful 💖💐
Chills when she talked about supporting Devon by going to the bar and the pride parade, and the experience she had at both.
I never skip the ads on your youtube videos... Your podcast deserves all the support I can give! Former Mormon #formon
Donated my church pictures and books too
What I hear that echoes what I remember:
* Homophobia is much more important than peoples' safety
* Anti-medication rhetoric that is from ignorance not good sense
* Your whole church-life planned for you when you are a baby
* High demand LDS, robs parents/children of positive time
* Self-blame, shame, and ignorance leads to bad outcomes for all
-=-
Sure, you can say this is common to many churches or those without church. But I remember it being much LOUDER and pervasive than other places I went. Not the same. F*** eternity, indeed. The "pie in the sky - that's a lie" revelation is a hard one but a good one once you get through it [there is a song you can listen to on youtube about it].
“. . . or those without church .” Not sure what you mean in your context.
This story was too much for me. I feel sorry for Linda. Don’t know how she will be able to go forward. In her past. she was a follower. I wish her much strength going forward.
I love to see mothers that put their children first. I wasn't raised in any religion as my mom always told me that I can pray anytime from anywhere. When I was in my 30s I became a single mom and always put my son first. My son is 31 y/o and has never smoked or drank or got into trouble with the law. You don't need religion to be a good person or to love God.
All religions require blind faith. Close you eyes, imagine this! I used to think I couldn’t ever be pulled into a cult. I was so sure it could never happen… then I joined a Catholic Church. Because I haven’t been brainwashed yet, I learn , ask questions, and listen well. Holy hell, I’m in a friggan cult. So I in search of a place to worship, went back to my childhood baptist roots. I looked listened well… holy hell , what’s happening here? Wow! Again…cultish events and or requirements. Ok I’m out …
What is the connection of the Masonic Lodge to the Mormon church?
Wonderful story and content, Linda is so sincere and sweet. I hope the true Christian gospel prevails with those that have not had a good experience with "religion".
What a response!
I’m listening to this woman talk about her child’s suicide, and all her other trials. Last thing on my mind is “ well… I hopes she finds the right Jesus.”
Why do you have the subtitles off? I depend on them to understand what is being said as I am partially deaf. Help. Please make this available in the future! I would really appreciate it. Thanks, Jojo from Mississauga Ontario in Canada
It usually takes RUclips a day or so to get them attached for us. We hope we see them soon. :)
There are subtitles. Go to your settings and click on cc.
Whoa. This lady described classic cult behavior. She did not entertain doubts. * facepalm * It seems glaringly obvious now.
Thanks!
I always wondered how if we were “sealed” and then our children went their way and were sealed to spouses who were sealed to other of their family members etc. or not. How would that all work? And my wonderful grandma who was the second wife of a man and had four children with him and when he died and she married my Mormon grandfather, she had to choose him instead of the father of her children. Wasn’t fair to me. “God would work it all out”. Yeah, right. He was going to have a lot of working out to do😇. It’s just a way to scare us into getting $$$. It’s destroying my daughter’s marriage as we speak. She has lost her faith and her husband (, who has three Master’s Degrees) is VERY ANAL as we call it and is accusing her of destroying their forever family. Yet he doesn’t want to know what destroyed her faith or do any research. I foresee a divorce.
I'm LDS with all the priesthoods I'll love to be in your show and share my Mormon stories if you'd like
Nice interjection at about the 54:00 min mark John. This is spiritual Blackmail plain and simple.
The Mormon church is basically charging admission to go to your family weddings.... admission that runs into the 100's of thousands of dollars.
You are an amazing couple! We were stationed at Hill AFB in Ogden. Did not feel welcome in the community. We needed guidance to know how our children would be ‘shunned’ in our neighborhood. Of course, we sold our home at top dollar for a family that wanted to live in that ward. We moved to the Air Force base and let our kids embrace the multi-cultural and racial diversity in the AFB. Love the beauty of Utah - don’t love the culture. Yet, we are white and blonde people. That is a requirement, right?
The Mormon Church is so mean and judgemental. These kids and people have no choice in their sexuality, I had a gay brother who was gay as long as I can remember and he was judged harshly, hurt and rejected by the Mormons and I now have a gay son who didn't choose to be gay he was gay from the time he was tiny...he always liked girl things. He was diagnosed with autism and being gay dealt two very tough cards...now he is an amazing song writer, performer, producer and recording artist...he's an amazing kid...He's healthy and happy.
I threw away all my garments also.
I pressed “like”, now multiply it times 1000,000 😂😂😂
@@karengastelum3357 lolol!!!
Thank you. Watching from Alaska