Cool Patrol - NSP
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2016
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Written by Ninja Sex Party (Dan Avidan and Brian Wecht)
Performed by Ninja Sex Party and TWRP
Starring:
Jacksepticeye as The Kid
Markiplier as Cool Patrol Leader
Ryan Magee as Verified Cool Patrol Member
Matt Wilson as Unverified Cool Patrol Member
Jordan McQuiston, Diamond Walker, and Hunter Collins as Roller Dancers
Zan Alda as Cow
Barry Kramer as Camel
Kaden Vu and Eric Radic as Bullies
Lala Araki, Milloux, and Lindsey Jennings as Roller Ladies
Jordan Irby, Jeffrey Minter, Viktoria Ershova, Jonathan Sapp, Christina Correa, Kassandra Corea, Pamela Horton, Vernon Shaw, Kyle Crosby, and Daniel Stonem Ali, Meredith Quail, and Amy as Roller Rink Patrons
Director: Sean Barrett
Editor: Sean Barrett
Producer: Svetlana Dekic
Production Supervisor: Sarah Williams
Director of Photography: Gordon Yould
Additional Post-Production: Matt Watson
1st AC: Brooks Burgoon
2nd AC: Jeffrey Ball
Steadicam Operator: Bryant Swanstrom
Gaffer: Seth Naugle
Key Grip: Conrad Wrobel
Media Manager: Andrew Fontanelle
Makeup: Taja Davis
Wardrobe: Lici Koch
NSP Costumes: Kristen Carr
Art Department: Kati Schwartz
Production Assistants: Tasha Anderson, Rory Ross
Manager: Brent Lilley
Lyrics:
Yo Ninja Brian, you see that high schooler over there getting pushed around? This looks like a job for the Cool Patrol!
Hey Kid! (Yo!) You're getting picked on in school
The other boys! (Huh!)! They say you just ain't cool
Well that's bullshit! (Yeah!!) We're gonna teach you the rules
Those motherfuckers ain't gonna bother you no more
We are the bad boys (Oh!) from the tough side of town
We are the Cool Patrol (Woo!) we'll turn your life around
Those bullies (AW SHIT) their ass is done for now
We're gonna show you how! So fuckin' listen y'all! First…
You put your hands in the air
And you jump off the ground
And then you take that funky butt and you shake it all around
And lightly jog in place and then crank it up to a prance
This is the cool patrol dance
Now put your hands in your pockets
And take them right back out
Then spin around in a circle and make an animal sound (moo)
Then glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants
This is the cool patrol dance
Whee!
Motherfuckin' bullies better watch their ass
You're sending all them shits a message there's a new king in class
When they see you they're gonna freak out and piss their pants
THEY ARE YOUR BITCHES! THEY ARE YOUR BITCHES BECAUSE...
You put your hands in the air
And then stick out your rear end
And then you wiggle it real hard and you hug your closest friend
And then you wildly remove your clothes and tearaway pants
This is the cool patrol dance
Now rub the peanut butter on you
From your head to your feet
And cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats
Then slap a camel because this could be your only chance
This is the cool patrol dance
Cool Break!
synth solo
You put your hands in the air
And grab a bird from the sky
And eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight
Now you can also dive bomb fish because your vision's enhanced
This is the cool patrol dance
You're basically a superhero now
So throw some cars
Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars
Now harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance
This is the cool patrol dance! 
Приколы
I just realized his whole song is Danny gently reminding us he’s basically a middle aged dad who’s somehow cooler than some other dads
To real
all other dads.
Daddy Danny ~
As a slightly uncool middle aged dad this song always pulls me out of some dark places
Close, hes actually a dad going through a midlife crisis
Shakira: my hips don't lie
Mark: same
Shakira: what
Mark: what
600th like
Technically hips are literally talking shit
@@whiteguy3685 thank you phoenix wright!
@@whiteguy3685 Genius
I feel like Shakira fears how Mark can move his hips
Mark putting every last ounce of his soul into his part despite just being a background dancer fills me with such joy. There are no small roles, only small actors.
He’s NOT short!!!!111!!!!
Mark got cake 😮
He's not a background dancer, he's clearly the Cool Patrol Leader, as credited in the description, which therefore makes him the titular character
LMAO Mark a small actor... The fact that this was done six years ago though
The funniest part is they probably had to ask him to tone it down a bit 😂
I really wanna thank NSP. I tried this technique and the bullying stopped. Not only that, but they wouldn't come within 50 feet of me. Everyone else also wouldn't come within 50 feet of me.
Really? I must've done something wrong. After I ate that bird live in front of my boss, people definitely started messing with me. Well they were all cops, but still.
I did this but that just made me a bigger target for bullying.
@@bushman18882 F
Because the judge said so
You performed the force field incantation
This is like when the guardians of the galaxy joined the avengers
Omg, that's accurate.
The font they use for camel slap looks pretty familiar too...
@@guyinthecorner0 grass
YES
No, this is better!
Everyone: (especially Mark) having the time of their life
Brian: serious as always
Jack: looks very uncomfortable
Wouldn’t you if you were in that situation
@@pearlrosing4286 yes I would have the time of my life
Mark looked the happiest there
ive watched this video countless times and it never disappoints
Thats jacks roll
I just realized, at 2:28, Brian is really playing the keyboard without looking at it. He’s not faking it, he’s hitting the correct notes.
Oh shit, you're right!
Damn, he's good.
Is nobody else literally in tears at Brian ripping away his pants to reveal only more pants
I didn't notice until now, thank you
Literally the best part of the video.
Timestamp?
@@Gamez_Studios_1:45
I'm starting to think those highschooler bullies arent actually highschoolers.
What makes you think that? They look 16 max
Whaaat? Naaah...
You know they are just your average teenage anime protagonists lol
im surprised there hasn’t been a r/woooooosh yet
@Mr Zman Isn't that a fax machine?
I love the fact that they had to hide Jack's hair with the crown during the green-screen scenes.
XD I just realized that now.
greenarwen lol
randomponyater YES XD
Why didn't they blue-screen it?
+randomponyater Haha yes that would be great ! I don't if it'd be easy but it should be possible. I wish someone would do that !
Seeing Mark and Jack with dyed hair sure is a throwback
Ah yes the time period where almost all the popular youtubers died they're hair
Back when everything on here was so much better
@@annsh.6487 The boys are still great but I get you. 2016- 2017 was massive for RUclips stardom
And then there is Jack's comics
@@mordredpendragon1235 Died and turned into hair?!
I can’t stop laughing at Ninja Brian staring intensely at Mark’s junk at 0:45
god i didn’t even notice that lmao that’s hilarious
I NEVER NOTICED UNTIL NOW
I NEVER NOTICED
IVE BEEN LISTENING TO THIS FOR YEARS AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT WTF LMAO
I never noticed 😭
"Slap a camel because this could be your only chance" Translation: We bought a camel costume for the Egyptian themed Tableflip episodes and have no other use...so here's us trying to make use of it
Nicholas LionRider OH MY GOD THATS SO TRUE
Nicholas LionRider No, they're sex themed and the camel is a euphemism
Nicholas LionRider desperate lyrics amirite... it's still works
yes
how can you complain, this is awesome
Not enough love is going to the dancers on roller skates. They were rocking it.
Rock n' roll-er skates
Look these guys up, they are awesome! Breakskate - pretty sure it's them!
Marks solo HOO at the start was so perfectly executed
0:15
markiplier jumpscare
HECK YEEEEEEEEE!!
Markiplier HI Mark!
omg I screamed when I saw you!!
Markiplier This is amazing!😂
Loved you in this, Mark.
Markiplier soooo coooool
So glad it's finally out in the wild! Such a damn good song! :D
Thanks again for letting me be part of something awesome
Hi jack! :D how are you?
AMY MARK MATT RYAN AND JACK IN A NSP MUSIC VIDEO MY HEART!! TOO MANY FEELS!... Sorry, i had a freak out there! XD I'm so happy for you Jack!! :D
LOL first reply on this comment!!!!!!
How's after life going now you are #1 Cool Kid? hahaha
I LOVE YOU
4 years later and i still can't get over on how jack is dressed like spongebob
I can never unsee this thank you
It went from Jack saying "what's happening?" To "I'm blowing up planets and throwing cars at mach 10." To "I'm dead."
Markiplier looks like he's having the time of his life
@ some people don’t like to call youtubers there real name
So does Barry lol
Who wouldn’t honestly
Who wouldn’t
IKR?! XD He's all :D as he's dancing. lolz
Mark look's like he's having a little to much fun...
Yeah lol.
Well he is listed in the cast as "Leader of the Cool Patrol" So he probably had to be the most fab... or he earned the title because of how fab he was dancing
lol yes
Assassinboy 990 yes he is
Clearly he is.
That keyboard solo is genuinely one of the most happy, positive, fun parts I've ever heard in a song & it makes me feel better every time I hear it.
I need a 2022/2023 update on how mark feels about being in this cause he looks like hes loving it
Imagine him doing the dance on his OnlyFans. That would be fucking hilarious.
1:43
I just realized that ninja Brian tears away his pants to reveal another pair of identical pants.
1:58
Wait, who the fuck is that in the cow suit, and why didn't I notice him last time I watched this?
Never mind on that second one, just realized he was in the description.
+Forgot Other Password That is the naked guy from "Dragon Slayer" and "Let's Get This Terrible Party Started".
+Forgot Other Password. I have no idea how many times I've watched this, and I just noticed Brian's pants. I guess I was, um, looking somewhere else. :D
*Forgot Other Password how hot must he be........?......IN THE OUTFIT THAT IS. IM NOT BI *dani FUCKING hides under a rock*
I wonder how hard it was for them to keep a straight face.
they are crazy, but poor Jack jsut standing there and watching them dance in front of him in a colourfull joga something :D
Dana Ondráčková jack was probably used to it
He's friends with all of them 😂
Jasmine Herbert I dont believe such a giggly cutsie not to laugh when he saw those weirdos :D especially Mark, he looks so happy and bouncy :D
Vanessa Heerts they didnt, just look at them.
you mean keep a straight face because Dan?
I love how Ninja Brian never engages in any of the dancing in any video, but is always ready and eager to fling off his clothes.
The way Dan says "This is cool!" always just cracks me up, seriously. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This song is what teachers sing when you tell them that you're being bullied in highschool.
IDK if teachers are allowed to swear on the job
STENBROUGH IS BEST SHIP Bruh all the teachers do in high school
@@RyanJilbert yep
During the Cool Break, Dan sounds like that voice that says stuff like “Great!” “Perfect!” “Awesome!” During a rhythm game
Wii Sports Resort...
WII sports be like
D.J .R.L “Nice shot!”
@@chrisrains8670 *the ball goes out of bounds or into the bunker*
@@chrisrains8670 "NICE ON"
I have learned it's very difficult to stay sad while watching an NSP video
I watch them frequently for that very reason.
I love how Jacksepticeye and Markiplier both are trying so hard to not laugh during the whole thing. And then right at the end it Markiplier starts busting out into laughter😂❤
Pretty sure he's miming throwing up in his mouth
@@ari638 That's what I thought it was.
Marvel: Endgame is the most ambitous crossover
Ninja Sex Party: Hold our spandex
Too soon Nsp has to control the media first. Then they can use the stoners to destroy the stones
Theregoesthemilk Battle Kid: I’m the best Game Grumps playthrough
Endless Ocean 2: Hold our soda and our OJ
that joke sucks and you should feel sucks
Hold our tear away pants
DUDE. YER KILLIN ME RN
jack: *i am very uncomfortable with the energy we've created in this studio*
I'm here for this reference. Very here
The mcelroy reference is on point. Honestly, when i first heard this song, i thought it suuuuper had a mcelroy energy about it
@@saxmaverick bb0 bb b b lb h90bn b 0p
I like how in the final scene, Danny, Brian and Markiplier all react to Jack getting beat up, whereas Matt and Ryan are just like "Yeah, this is normal."
Danny: "see that high schooler getting pushed around?"
Camera pans to a 27 year old Jacksepticeye
why does every new nsp video feel like opening a gift on your birthday
Happy Birthday, Here's My Schlong
I don't know how to reply to that
Probably gonna be a song knowing NSP
Paladin j mac you graciously accept
Paladin j mac same
Why do I feel like Danny found the wolverine claws about 4 seconds before they started shooting and everyone just rolled with it
Yeah, like a kid who just found a toy and wanted to find a way to show it off to his friends.
Ryan: yo guys! My claws off amazon came yesterd-
Danny: MINE!!!
Wolverine? I'm claiming this one...
Probably did.
ROLLED WITH IT HAAH FUNNY JOKE
Production value instantly skyrockets when you have synchronized roller skate dancing.
Just a reminder that Danny was in Game Grumps and Brian has a PhD in theoretical physics
Was?
Danny : hey jack
Jack : yeah?
Danny : you wanna be in a NSP video or whatever
Jack : hell yeah
That's definitely how it goes
Just realized that superhero Jack is Jackieboy Man.
Heck ye*
He got Mark, too
I read the "hell yeah" in jacks voice perfectly because he's said it quite a few times
Teachers dealing with bullying vs how it works out
Because that’s what hero’s do
The accuracy of this comment is genuinely painful...
So true
This song introduced me to ninja sex party and Game Grumps. Will always cherish this song for showing the true genius that is... whatever this all is ❤️
I've only just discovered this glorious masterpiece and I just gotta say, I LOVE that Markiplier is so enthusiastic. Like, that he literally just won the dream lottery. Everyone looks happy but he's so exuberant 😂
damnit jack we told you not to hang with those roller disco chumps. that ninja kills poeple
OH GOD
Jack has no clue what's going on.
Jacks like wtf am I doing
And he slaps camels.
Brian: is a scientist
Also Brian: stares fiercely at Mark's junk
For science!
Time to do some scientific research. INTENSE, hands-on scientific research.
He's really STUDYING it. Eh? Eh??? ok ill leave now
Time stamp please
@@ryanmaxwell7114 0:46
Such a comfort song. I love how happy mark is in his role ❤️🫂
“Matt Wilson as unverified cool patrol member” in the credits kills me
Mark looks wayyyy too happy to be in this.
A Porcelain Chicken Garden Decor his boyfriends in it
Awkward Panda no his girlfriend is in it
craxan roblox girl I was making a septiplier joke
this is his element
He's always waayyyyy too happy in everything :P
I can never look at Mark the same way ever again
Jody Fawcett Same 😂👌🏼
I can never look away from Mark ever again.
This is hardly the most flamboiant thing mark has done (e.g. Poledancing videos)
Broddiccus true, very true.
Dan the singer is pretty cool with game grumps here on youtube, and he feels really gay.
I SAW THIS A LONGER WHILE AGO AND ONLY NOW REALIZE THAT MARKIPLIER AND JACK SEPTICEYE ARE IN THIS AND HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES
As someone with meaty thighs, I relate to the 'magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars' part on a personal level.
I’m frightened by how good Mark is at the Cool Patrol dance
It is just that the rest are clearly no good.
Lmao..right? I love it
That's because Mark is good at (almost) everything he does!!! Personally, I don't know what he's not good at... But... Yeah
@@friedpenuts
Supermega can do anything, shhh
How excited are you?
Mark: “Yes!”
I love how Mark way overdid it in this.
He's the leader!
He's-a Markimoo!!!
He gets way too into it
I mean if your going to do something ridiculous you may as well have fun with it.
He’s over the top because this is what he was made to do
Man this was a different era. So much has changed in 6 years, I feel like Markiplier and Jacksepticeye are different people since this video was made 😅
Wow times flies. 😳
Honestly I think at their core they both have that sense of humor, they're still the same people they just grew in maturity
I reckon given the right motivation you could still probably get Markiplier to dance like he does in this 😂
Ryans little tough guy turtle face at 0:10 kills me
NSP is the only group that can make an anti-bullying video that actually works
Because swears maybe?
Yea
I mean it won’t stop bullying but at least it’s a catchy dance
Just listen to doom music
@@viviaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan I mean... You're not wrong
i did this is in school and now nobody talks to me. Thanks guys, no more bullies!
F?
I would immediately become your friend if you played this
I would have joined in on that dance. And we would be laughing at all the haters while eating peanut butter and deli meats.
Try it again... but actually show the bullies the original song. Then they’ll love you.
Some people don't accept true beauty
I just love the completely deadpan "moo", it gets me every time I re-listen to this song.
Seeing mark do the cool patrol dance seems like something he does every day now cause clearly he’s cool
When four RUclipsrs simultaneously delay videos because they're "working on something special."
You know it
"Special" is a word for it
Special is the word for it.
PotatoWiz hahaha 420 likes
Lol still 420 likes
i think the real reason jack died was because he didn't slap the camel
LOL
I love coming back to this song randomly.
The “Moo” gets me every time 😂
Fun Fact:
Mark wasn’t even supposed to be there he just
happened to be here
Nah he just want to know how long he is gonna last until he got kicked out
Wait is this true because if it is that’s some top tier shit
yeah, he doesnt exist after all, idk how he got there
“Oh hey guys, I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t fight me. That’s fine tho. Oh, what a coincidence that I brought all the necessary outfits and brought my dancing shoes. I might as well dance with you guys, what do you think?”
Yea he always just shows up and they're too awkward to ask him to leave so they put him in the videos
Remember, they had to rent out the entire skating rink to sing a song about dancing while wearing fanny packs and leotards...
BM11 Games OMG EXACTLY
Worth every penny
And it's the same rink that Mark rented for Wilfred Motherloving Warfstache
If this was the 90s maybe but nowadays I'm sure they just walked in on a Tuesday afternoon.
And your point would be?
This song and album is the transition from classic NSP, to the modern NSP we have now. Cool patrol is my favorite album of all time and it was my introduction to all the music I love now. Thank you Danny, Brian and TWRP
i did what the song said to my bullies and now i don't think ill ever be able to use my legs ever.
"Put your hands in your pockets"
Literally everyone in their Cool Patrol costumes: *no pockets*
You forgot about their prison pocket
1:41
Danny "And you hug your closest friend"
Also Danny: *Doesn't hug Ninja Brian*
Jayden F 😐 F
Oh shit! 😱
No one hugs ninja Brian
Fisherseal29 I think we would all hug him for Danny
@@cyruskoi8680 sorry but i don't want to die
1:36 Ninja Brian just standing there only to tear off his pants to have another set of pants underneath is funny as hell for some reason 😆
Bruh that "whee" had me breakout in laughter
Tumblr: *immediately starts writing a fan fiction of Nerd Jack gets bullied but Cool Mark stands up for him, Nerd Jack soon finds about Cool Marks nerdiness about roller skating and they both fall in love*
Heck yeah!
Pat gem ON IT!
Pat gem thats too real lmao 😂
Pat gem no. just no.
Make it happen, dudette
The entire time, Jack's like, "WTF IS GOIN ON!!?"
PartyWolf Gamer ikr
"I came to America for this..?"
pfft.... aww man.... XD he is!!!
PartyWolf Gamer ikr
Prickly Trash, I don't know why but I laughed for like five minuets straight. I think my friends called an ambulance.
7 Years later and This still impacts my everyday life. Its fucking sick
Ironically, those skater dancers are super cool.
Seeing Jack dancing around in red spandex is something I never realized I needed in my life.
MICAH SAUNDERS That smexy fury and victory dance tho
MICAH SAUNDERS Maybe it's the fact that Danny is so tall
MICAH SAUNDERS Mark's Dance really enhanced it too.
you obviously missed one of his alteregos, the Jackaboy man :D
ikr
3:13
I love Mark’s over the top reaction to Jack getting his ass handed to him where Matt next to him barely acknowledged it.
I really think Mark was trying to stifle a laugh lol anyone who watches his try not to laugh challenge videos knows what I mean ;) he is a self admitted giggling idiot when it comes to (literal) slapstick
@mitsukitai2713 yeah probably I just found their contrasting reactions funny
Matt just does his Matt face and it's great
Kat ._.* Even Ninja Brian’s like “0_0”
my favorite part of this song is the cool break segment, the synth is so bright and feel-good, and i can’t stop repeating the funky little bit at 2:19
its tradition to watch this every month
Who else thought Mark actually looked pretty cool in his leather jacket
Emma Rout mark looks good in skates...that was sooo attractive
Micaela Wesley too bad he's horrifying at skating
Emma Rout me
Creative Cookie I know right
He looked hawt ;]
They brought Mark along to say
"Yuh!"
"Huh!"
"Yeah!"
"Euh!"
"Woo!"
"Aw shit!"
And look sexy and badass in that leather jacket
and shake his butt in the most enthusiastic way possible.
These comments are so underrated
How did i not notice mark b4 i saw this comment 😂
I agree
That was so accurate, I like listened to the beginning of the song while reading the comment and I realised it was exactly what he was saying :')
What do you mean it’s been 6 years? This song truly is timeless
Can we appreciate the dancers who pulled off those insane moves in fucking rollerskates?!?!?!
Group of friends: *finds dead body*
That one kid in the group: 2:17
Holy crap I will never be the same
the timing 💀
WHOOO!!
BRUH IM SCREAMING IEURJNWGZ
HAHAHAKDJS NOOOOO
I like how Ninja Brian has multiple layers of the same pants on.
He taught Kakashi well... "beneath these pants..." 'beneath these pants' "are more pants!"
Lol I've watched this video over a hundred times and I've never noticed that
He actually only has one pair, put the moment it begins to come off Ninja Brian materialises a new one out of thin air.
I made it 1k likes, you're welcome ;)
@@stillagamer3603 or does he use his super speed to put another pair on
Surprised how I haven’t seen anyone comment on 2:20-2:34 yet. That part is straight fire
that “moo” always gets me
Brian Wecht, a proffeser in physics who could of easily worked his entire life at one of the most procidous colleges in the UK just widely pointed a knife at two strangers with a look in his eyes you normally see in pcycopaths and slapped a camel, all of this, while wearing a cheaply made ninja costume.
He is one of my favorite human beings.
Bold to assume he's a 'human being'
I feel like anyone who works in the food or retail industry, or anyone who has a Ph.D in literally anything, has to be some degree insane. Ninja Brian has clearly discovered his outlet - wanton murder in a discount Halloween store costume.
HOLY FECKING SHITE ARE YOU THE BIGRED CUZ IF SO I I LOVE YOU
This is the best way to describe Brian "Ninja Brian" Wecht.
He is one of the best humans in existance
*im not surprised*
Honestly the roller dancers deserve a lot more attention then they get
agreed!
I replay the part where they get up with just the tips of the feet cause it amazes me everytime!
You may need to pay more attention to your English, too.
@@Malachiteinferno okay then
What roller dancers?
Holy Hell, coming back to this after so long now its makin me cry, these were those days Man, I genuinely wish I could go back to 2016/2018, so much more innocent in Retrospect after everything that has happened in the world
When Brian smacked the camel I laughed so hard, and I was in a silent class
1:42
Ninja Brian rips off his pants, to reveal more pants.
FurryEskimo wait you don’t have pants under your pants?!
I’m going to punch your face, iN THE FACE
same energy
r/twohealthbars
@@switchblade6 Bold of you to assume only 2
Yo dawg. I heard you like pants...
Mark is living his best life
I’ve watched this music video no less than a hundred times, and it took until I’m drunk and in a real hyperfocused mood to realise that Ninja Brian rips off a pair of identical black tear away pants
I think Mark somehow got more into this than Danny.
mark having the time of his life
So...typical Mark.
Papyrus4ever it’s really wholesome. Seeing someone that genuinely happy never ceases to put a smile on my face.
I just rewatched this video for the first time in forever, when I was a dumb kid I was so amazed jack was in this video I didn't even realize Matt Ryan and Mark were in it until now
OMG I'm SO glad I was not the only one! I was listening to NSP and then this song came on, so I wanted to see the video again and... How stupid of a kid I was to not notice all of them 😂😂 EVEN BARRY is in this! He's the dancing camel! HAHAHA
I love seeing Matt and Ryan in this lmao
0:17 watch matt as he says “yeah” too early then starts laughing at his mistake
So that's why he's an unverified member of the cool patrol
and then tries to play it off by acting serious again
Thank you for pointing this out for us
wait I thought Matt said "sht"
Oh no I’ll never unsee it😂
My favorite line from now on is,
“Now, slap a camel, because this could be your only chance.”
Mine: “Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars”
I like Mark's reaction to brian slapping the camel
Arnold Schwarzenegger took that chance.
Mark's face at that moment too