A birthday chat about ageing, invisibility and how to find out what lights you up.
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- It is my 55th birthday on Sunday and I have been thinking a lot about ageing and how important it is to find out exactly what it is that lights us up, and to work out how to more of that.
This was largely sparked by a conversation. a few months ago with a longtime friend where we chatted about the invisibility of the middle aged woman and how it may not be exactly what we are led to believe.
🌿 I am Jane Lindsey, a textile artist, gardener, writer and teacher based in the middle of Scotland. This is my website www.snapdragonlife.com
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Hello! I wrote my first screenplay at 7 or 8, and my mom found it and threw it away. I'm 64 now and finally have stopped believing that my creative talent is garbage. I am writing whenever I get a minute of spare time.😊
This is so wonderful to hear Dawn. X
Thank you for this interesting talk. I really haven’t felt all that invisible for my 73 years. In fact, I’m more inclined to be slightly annoyed if I’m noticed or recognized if I’m down the street. Anyhow, as a child I did love to draw and paint. Last October I took up watercolor painting and I do excellent “7 year old types of paintings”. However I am learning so much and enjoying so many art vlogs etc. cheers from AUSTRALIA where it is wine o’clock.
Happy wine o’clock and thanks for leaving a comment. Cheers! J x
When I was 7 I fell in love with Frans Hals work in the Encyclopedia Britannica. I'd place my nose on the page trying to get a better look at the brush strokes. I don't remember how long after that I began to tell people that I would be a famous artist when I grew up. My Grandmother worked in a museum and I loved running around the corner to walk her home at the end of the day. I would get there early so I could look at all the paintings.
I am an artist. I have a BFA in Painting and Drawing. I"m not famous "yet." There is still time, I am just 58. :)
****Happy Birthday to you Jane! Many happy returns.****
Thank you Sarah - so much time. X
Thank you for talking about this. I was late diagnosed Autistic and have spent time reviewing my life. I addressed this last year and did exactly that; thought about what I wanted when I was really young and made me happiest. For me it was horses. I tried in small ways to reintroduce this, however unfortunately due to accessibility, horsey people intolerance, and finances I gave up. Sometimes its not always down to perseverance and determination, but to other people and circumstances. I will try again this year on holiday in South Uist. Fingers crossed.
I love visiting gardens too. The Japanese Garden at Cowden is exquisite.
Happy Birthday.
I hope that you have a lovely holiday on South Uist and manage to incorporate something horsey along the way Andrea. J x
Hello Jane, I'm Laura and I've found your channel the other day and I have been watching many of your videos, it's lovely, thank you. Sorry for my english it's not my first language. This video really speaks to me because I'm almost 49 and when I was 37/38 I started doing what I wanted to do when I was 7 which was to be a painter (artist) and an astrologer (yes very weird but that's what it was) and today I am both, I have a passion for art and (real) astrology, althgough I still need the help of my husband because I don't really earn much from what I do, but I loooove what I do.
When you said the word invisible it really spoke to me because that's how I have been feeling for many years now, not about the man gaze, but about being seen from what I do, and I had never considered the idea of being invisible to myself.
Even if I did a big leap when I was 37 with passionate career choices, I'm still invisible and it has nothing to do with age for me, even if I do wonder what it will look like going into my 50's if I'm going to still feel unseen. I have no children and my parents died early, I only have my husband, so I do believe for me the invisibility (I do have a big follow on social media so it's not about that neither) it's about invisibility linked to worth, I guess. Thank you so much Jane, this is going to help me understand more why I feel this way. Have a beautiful birthday (you are from the last days of Taurus I guess 😉).
Thank you Laura. Your English is wonderful. I’m very glad that you found this resonated - and yes I am right at the end of Taurus and a very typical earth sign! J x
I'm turning 60 this October and have tried to follow my heart most of my life. My favorite things to do when I was about 7 were: playing outside with my friends (mostly make-believe), reading, writing (poetry, short stories, I even adapted screenplays from my favorite books), and creating interiors (rooms for my dolls, or, when I was a little older I cut out images from magazines and made collages of my 'homes around the globe'). Now I'm a published author and poet, enjoy creating homes in much the same way you do Jane--with collections of items that mean a lot to me personally rather than 'big box' items, and I still love community and meeting new people, especially in my new home in Scotland where I made a lifelong dream come true of returning to my roots and buying an old schoolhouse here in the highlands. Thank you for helping us all feel seen and heard with your videos.
Thanks Georgina. Welcome to Scotland!
So very true Jane. I have written a line for myself to remind me "be visible to yourself" ❤
That is a great mantra! J x
I had no ambitions when I was 7 as my mother died when I was that age and my life changed dramatically. I had to grow up very quickly and I was dealing with my father remarrying very quickly to a woman who was neglectful and uncaring. My childhood ended then. I married young but after 25 years we had grown apart and we seperated. I went to university in my 40s and started a new career. It is only in the last few years that I have really got to know myself. I was 'invisible' most of my life, to myself and others but now I am 67 I dont actually feel that. I feel more confident and content than I have ever been.I love these thought provoking vids. Thank you.
I’m really sorry to hear about your childhood and the death of your mother and am so glad to hear that you have grown into confidence xx
❤🎉🌸🌺🌷🌹💐🌻🌷🎈🎈🎈Happiest Birthday wishes, Jane! Wishing you a lovely birthday weekend❤
Midlife is a time where there are so many demands on a woman....work, family, care giving to parents, etc, that being invisible to self is a real problem I think. Also the body changes of menopause can cause a woman to feel unfamiliar with her own rhythms. I am 70. I think retirement made me more invisible to society. But it made me more visible to myself and the possibility of being in relationship to more than human society. I think chronic illness does this too. Anything that causes one to slow down and offers the gift of full responsibility for one's own time, is going to make a person really look at themselves and, hopefully, reconnect or connect more deeply with nature/self/simple existence...which is so miraculous!
I think you are so right Candace and that it is a really powerful time of life if you can be still and listen. J x
Lovely chat,thank you Jane 💛🌻
Glad you enjoyed it
Happy 55th Birthday Jane...and thanks for all you do here on youtube...
When I was 7 or 8...I liked to walk to my library...in Thornhill Ontario...Canada ...I read a lot!.
as well as colour/draw with crayons...or the paint by number oil paint kits you got back then in the early '60's......I am nearly 15 years older than you...I still like to write and read...though..it is a bit more tedious now...and I made my living from sewing/fashion design items and alterations eventually...here in Whitehorse Yukon Canada. I am now on my way to watercolours and many other art materials...making ABSTRACT images...with mixed media...and am trying not to judge too much ...mostly...making an effort to just try to enjoy myself...with ALL THE COLOURS AND SHAPES...and be PROUD that I can make stuff still.that I find pretty/and has an OMPH for me...makes me have a special feeling...which is what art is all about ...in my opinion!!!.. How my art...expresses how I FEEL!!!!
all my best...Janis on the shores of Kookatsoon Lake...in The Yukon Canada.
Thanks Janis. I think your venture into abstract mixed media sounds wonderful. J x
Thank you, very thought provoking! I wanted to run dog kennels for some reason, and used to draw picture after picture of what it would look like. I have never done that, and certainly would not want to now, but I have loved and enjoyed dogs all my adult life.
I’m glad to hear that you’ve had dogs in your life! J x
As a woman in her 70s I have come to the conclusion that "university " women have had too much time to self obsess. What a privilege.
A very insightful video - so true. I 'm 62 and am trying to figure out what my passions are or used to be. I've always loved reading so maybe I will try my hand at writing again. I have also thought about dabbling in watercolours. Happy Birthday!
Thanks Moreen. I hope that you find something wonderful to do. X
Happy birthday Jane. I always wanted to be a primary school teacher. I didn"t enjoy my school days particularly and was made to believe I wasn't clever enough to go to university and become my dream (also was told I couldn't draw which I have carried with me for 50 years). I have however loved having my children and doing lots of fun and educational things with them and now I get to do it all again with my grandchildren. Not quite the dream but a very enjoyable glimpse at it. xx
Thanks Mandy. I think it is great that you have been able to carry that creativity right through your life. J x
A very thought provoking video Jane, thank you. At midlife, I have been ruminating about visibility too in the midst of a lot of change going on in life. Wishing you a very happy birthday, and look forward to seeing the garden video next week.
🧁🎂
Thanks Mary. It’s an interesting time I think. X
@@snapdragonlife Mary😉x
Jane, your 7 yr old self would be very proud of you now:). I think people are happiest when they are outward looking. Meaning when their thought processes are much more engaged by what is going on around them and with those they know/love. In thinking about what you can do to be betterment of someone else. It is the "navel gazers" who tend to find a "crisis of self". If you look deep enough, no one can be happy 100% of the time. The younger generations seem to also be in competition for 2 things, for material wealth and outdoing each other in traumas. In both instances, there will always be someone who outdoes you. So be happy being YOU. Your videos are lovely.
Such wise words, Jane. Thank you so much. I always love your videos and look forward to them. I hope you had a wonderful birthday.💐
Thanks Kathryn. I had a really lovely birthday weekend. X
Happy Birthday, Jane have a lovely day on Sunday.
On Sunday I'm organising a Garden and Plant Fair.
I'm demonstrating a wild garden and making flowers bracelets for little ones.
One of my first word was "fooies" meaning flowers.
So happy I followed my path in flowers a little late but better late than never.
Love the mug x
Thank you Pauls. I hope that your fair goes brilliantly xx
Jane you are spot on in regard to becoming invisible to ourselves. Health issues brought me to retiring early. During that process my identity as an art educator to a back seat, actually to the back to the bus. Now at age 69 I’m on a footpath to find my purpose one again. And as we are aware of the path taken there are occasional roots to stumble over. Thank you for your valuable insight today. Enjoy your London visit.
Thank you Sheila. I hope that you find the footpath leads you to something exciting x
Happy Birthday. Next video on the swing! Great reminder to keep pushing towards and pursuing dreams
Thank you Helen. X
Very interesting and I do think we become invisible to ourselves, it’s almost like a loss of purpose and we need to find that again.
At 7 I wanted to ride horses over cross country courses but whenever I approached horses I was scared! I have only ever ridden once, but rode my invisible horses for miles as child through woods and up hills! I don’t see myself realising my 7 year old dream but I love remembering it 💛
How fascinating that you were so drawn to something that physically terrified you. X
Happy Birthday Jane. Interesting talk. My siblings & I grew up on a farm and with this an element of freedom. On an occasion my sister & I took our dinner with us to one of the fields and sat eating it knife & fork on top of a mound of stones. We felt like kings of our castle, liberating. We twins were around 9 years old. Have a good weekend.
Thank you Ruth. What a great thing to be - ruler of all that surrounded you.
That was brilliant and I laughed out loud at your 7 year old self directing the 'world' from your swing. I loved it.
Must say i have no memories of that time, am sure they weren't terrible but nothing stands out. Am 82 and happy in my nappy as they say :) Not invisible either!! Have a Blow Out Birthday!
Thanks Susan. I had a lovely weekend. X
Happy Birthday Jane! Lovely talk here.. such an important subject.
Hello Jane. Only just got round to watching this. Hope you had a really wonderful birthday weekend, and you're right - birthdays are a privilege!
At 72, I would say a couple of things in response to your very thought-provoking talk. Firstly, in our westernised society, most people of whatever sex derive a lot of their sense of self from their jobs/roles - not just women - and so reach the soul-searching mid-life years in a sense of bewilderment and loss. Secondly, I have often said over the last decade that I felt I had become invisible, and I absolutely did not mean from the male gaze. If anything, it has been other, younger women who have metaphorically done the lighthouse act over me. The cult of the wise crone has yet to permeate my particular world! The sense of not existing in a space has been compounded by wanting to apply for grants for my photographic practice, and finding the market full of opportunities for people - women - UNDER a certain age. I think I have a pretty well-developed sense of who I am, however, my lived experience is that my profile doesn't fit into the zeitgeist, and so people are not interested in engaging with me. While it would probably be mutually enriching if they DID, I have to just acknowledge the facts and crack on with making my work, telling my stories, and putting them out there, to challenge the overriding narratives
Thanks Eve. I do think that there is a tendency for everyone to do a bit of soul searching in mid life, but it is only women who I’ve heard use the word ‘invisible’ - to the extent that it becomes commonplace in conversations.
I agree with you, that in a world where people reinvent themselves repeatedly through their lives, having access to opportunities restricted by age is foolish - there are many ‘new’ artists in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s who could do with a bit of the spotlight.
J x
Great deep conversation we all need to think about as our children grow up and our parents age. So true;) Thank you for sharing your thoughts. ❤
Thank you. I am off to see my grown and flown daughters in London next week and can’t wait!
Many happy returns for Sunday. I hope you have a wonderful day. I’m looking forward to seeing next week’s garden vlog. I’m going to be doing a lot of trying to remember being 7/8 and what I enjoyed doing. 😏
Thanks Jane. Xxx
Hi Jane. My birthday is Sunday also, but I will be 78 years old. Where did it go? I have so many subjects that I'm interested in. One of my favorites is a dye garden...indigo of course! Your channel is so cool!!!
Ab happy birthday for Sunday. I have just sent off some indigo seedlings to a local school garden, and some more to the art school in Glasgow in am so glad that people are rediscovering the joy in these plants. X
Happy Birthday Jane! I turn 57 next month- thank you for sharing your conversation with your university friend. It got me thinking about how I used to sit in the downstairs room at a desk and design things for my younger sister (4 years younger) and her friends to do. I have started many programs that haven't been done before - for example the preschool program at a children's science museum in Vancouver....it is still running after 22 years! And now I have a membership that I have started for women who would like to be more creative and connected.....and it occurs to me that when I haven't been doing this I haven't been that happy...but when I am helping others in this way- see the world differently, create something from nothing-I am very challenged and happy. Thank you for reminding me of these things...Lise-Lotte
Thank you Lise-Lotte. It sounds as though you are very connected to that time designing things for your sister to do! X
Also as a German, I cannot with you happy birthday now but I hope you have a nice day.
Thank you x
Wishing you a very happy birthday 🎂
Thank you Amy. X
Enjoy your birthday 🎉… your talks are very calming thank you. As a kid I would dance n pretend to be a ballerina, I did in my 40s do salsa 💃, my health failed but found an adult ballet class hoping to start soon.
Thank you. I hope that your adult ballet class goes brilliantly x
Wishing you a lovely Birthday celebration. 🎉
Thank you Susan. X
Happy Youthful Birthday!! You look fabulous and are fabulous
Why thank you 😘😘😘
Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Thanks Karen. C
Happybirthday Jane. Lovely channel. For me, it was drawing. Still do but do I rate my skills and art sufficiently? that’s the question…..
Thank you. Maybe we need to capture the uncritical creating of our childhood too. 😂 J x
🥳
I am see-through. Like a ghost sometimes. Super upsetting when alive.
I think many people feel as you do Margaret. X
Happy Birthday Jane xx
Thank you Sarah x
Happy Belated Birthday. Just got around to watching this video. You are inspirational and motivating. I won't mention my age because I feel the mind does not age. It is mainly the body and I do my best to eat well, get some excercise and am still working. Actually I have no time to be invisible. 🤣🤣 My main problem has always been I enjoy too many things and your time management video has been a big help. Thank you 💖🙏👍
Thank you xx
Have a very happy Birthday xx
Thanks Michelle. X
I love the vivid memory of you sitting on a swing and presenting a TV channel and now that dream has come true. Have a wonderful birthday looking round the garden - a local one to me does fantastic cream teas.
Thank you. Yes I’m hoping for some cake x
Happy Birthday! I turned 55 in February and this is such a happy time for me, maybe the happiest! I can’t remember what I wanted to be back when I was 7 or 8 but my favorite things were flowers and reading. About 6 years ago after my divorce, Dad passed and youngest graduated high school I started gardening and haven’t stopped! I also have decluttered many areas and am back to reading. Having a blast. I’ve let go of so many “good girl” things and just enjoy so many things. So glad you are getting to do what you wanted! Happy birthday again and thank you for sharing!
Thank you. I find it interesting how gardening mugs so many of us in our middle age and becomes an obsession. X
At Seven, I wanted to be a ballerina and an archeologist.
Great combination!
🤍🎂🌸🌿
You're lovely! I just discovered your channel. Hello my fellow 55 year old. :) I am getting more into being an artist and have my own RUclips channel @lindawilsonart just started. :)
Thank you Linda. And I shall go and check out your channel!
Happy birthday Jane ❤
Thanks Carole. X