My wife has had a good time with our local "buy nothing" and plant enthusiast groups. Both have a decent anti-capitalist streak to them, and attract like-minded people. I feel like mutual aid is a natural extension of these types of groups.
@@The2012Aceman That's not the case, no. The socialist case is that charity as it's understood is an affront, a signal that the structure of society has failed, not a personal virtue. Gardening was never lost, either. We're restructuring it around community gardens instead of the abomination of the SFH yard, but it was never covered.
I would be worried I was mingling with right wing libertarians. One minute you are talking about chicken farming the next minute they are talking about shooting the BLM people when they come to “our town” to rob us when “the storm” comes I’m probably paranoid because my “mommy and me” play group descended into a bunch of caddy women complaining about the kid with autism they thought was “weird”. Wow is me when you are a middle class married white woman people assume that you are one of them and let the racism/ableism fly
Since back in the day when I was trapped in a crap state for years, I have struggled with this question. Honestly the main reason I think people can't show up for others is because everyone is burnt out and at their wits end already. They have no energy or time left after they are done with work and their kids. I remember a study I saw from a while ago where they were trying to understand people who gave money to the homeless on the street. And who would stop their day to help a stranger move a piece of furniture up 4 flights of stairs for no reward? Who gives? Who doesn't? Why? The main predictor of whether a person would help was Time. Do they have time? That was it. It was not a deep question about their morality or their demographics (although it has been shown poor people are far more likely to donate money than the rich). The main predictor was time. Are they running late? Are they on a stroll or do they need to be somewhere? That kind of blew my mind but when I thought back on the times when I didn't or did help strangers, that was the deciding factor ultimately. Was I on my way to class or work? Or was I taking the scenic route home on a nice day? I was absolutely far more likely to help a stranger on the latter days. So in a big abstract way, I think the rise of unions is one solution. Unions ensure people are less worn down, they have more time, more money, and just more capacity to help others in general. They are not so occupied with surviving and scrambling to put on their own oxygen mask, so-to-speak. Once Unions are in full force, and more people have more time and energy, I think we could then look to the software soyboys to use tech to find efficient and ethical ways to connect the people who need connecting.
Well then I think you have the kernel of something there on how we start. Maybe it isn’t how we help each other in general, maybe the first thing we do is figure out how do we help each other get more time back? I think for those of us who have time to offer, we use that as our in, so to speak. Don’t get me wrong, saving money is great but help a person save time and they’ll really appreciate it. Guarantee you half of all software products in dev right now are geared toward time saving applications. At least inside of businesses that is.
@@GulfCoastGrit Indeed. I do believe the biggest obstacle to Community at this juncture is not *how* to connect people, but the fact that our economy sucks us all dry of all the time & energy we would otherwise use to contribute to Community in the first place. CEO's have gotten what they wanted: the highest possible ROI they could get from human bodies. And their success is reflected in a widespread inability to even take care of our own physical needs, let alone the needs of others. People barely get to rest anymore. We crash. We do damage control. But we don't get true restoration, not most of us. Unions are the next, most realistic step. It is something individuals can start at their own place of work, and it's something that catches on and spreads and inspires others to do the same. Highly recommend A More Perfect Union to anyone reading who wants to keep up with news on Unions (primarily in the u.s.). In my eyes, Unions are the best chance we've got at a better life and a chance for true Community. Fun fact: did you know that Maslow (creator of Maslow's hierarchy of needs) at some point decided that the tippy top of the pyramid was not actually Self-Actualization, but Self-Transcendence? This isn't widely known. But is it any surprise that the selfish people in charge would have us all believe that the pinnacle of human achievement is pure selfishness? No. The true pinnacle of human achievement is this: many self-actualized people who have their needs met so well that they have transcended the need to focus only on themselves and can thus focus on working together for higher goals, Big Picture goals for their country & society. That is who we really are. That is humanity at our best.
Something like a community garden might help. Fresh veggies for free saves money, which could mean one less shift picked up every few weeks. Or something like a outdoor community movie night, if you can afford a projector setup (they're about $100).
Thank you for this! I haven't liked to be told that we are getting meaner and greedier all over the country just because we're bad and getting worse. Personal experience says this is just not so. It fits with the "distrust the system" campaigns, though. It's a distrust everyone, especially your neighbor" campaign. No wonder big corporations want so much more than "full time" for a salary. That's also why they want us to use our vacation days instead of sick time, and penalize parents who have to take care of sick kids, and so on, and so on. It isn't so much that they want more hours for the same pay (though that's great too), it's that they want to keep us too busy to look for better employment, further our educations, raise our own children or even cook decent food!
Im in a trans mutual aid network in Washington state that does a lot of the things you mention in this video. A year ago it was just maybe a dozen of us on a Discord server, now we're over 300 strong and still growing, doing everything from ridesharing to helping folks relocate from red states. I personally helped someone get on a plane out of Texas just a couple weeks ago. There are difficulties for sure, but human determination and ingenuity can overcome even the oppressive systems we put in place ourselves.
I'm so glad it works in real life! I watched the French film "Discount" and thought a community co-op seems so amazing in theory, but I was seriously doubtful it can work when people act like people, ya know?
@@habeashumor9814 That's the insidious nature of capitalism, and more broadly, the state. The state assumes control of all aspects of life, disenfranchising us from our communities and making us feel helpless. Capitalism's structures of incentive (you know, selfishness, greed, fucking people over) provides the state with the ideological ammunition that it *needs* to exist. It *needs* to exist in order to rein in our "evil human nature". A "human nature" that only appears to be so, because of how our society has been organized. We live in a society where nobody needs each other to survive. Where there is no incentive to help our fellow human beings; and so a lot of people don't! If we lived in social structures where mutual aid, community, altruism, etc. were incentivized by the very structure of society, than those things would be selected for and expressed by the population. It's a culture that we build, just as the world we live in today is also a culture that has been built and maintained.
As a fellow trans Washingtonian, could I get some info on this group? I went looking for something local that wasn't just Portland with no luck last summer during fire season. I'm hoping to have more time/energy for volunteering for shit once I escape the Amazon hellhole.
I'm in a Discord server with a bunch of locals (within an hour drive of one another) and while it isn't specifically meant for this kind of thing, we've used it for similar purposes in the past. It's something of a joke that the same Ikea bags have moved a lot of us into new spaces, and we show up for each other to help with the move because it doubles as hanging out with friends. Someone recently was able to buy a car from another in the group in a way that was affordable and with ease of mind knowing the history of the vehicle from someone they trusted. We've helped each other with child care. It's not quite as localized as your vision, but it has been a great way to build community.
Also, I've seen "free" groups on FB and sometimes people will also donate their time to help with tasks. It feels a bit odd to accept help from a FB stranger, whereas the Discord group meets in person occasionally so we have more of a sense of community from sharing physical space.
Mastodon is at least good structurally for this purpose, but it's unlikely to be adopted and has a high barrier to entry. Discord is feature rich, can be private and somewhat easily modified, and so far is the least enshittified social media I've used. It's user friendly, free of most algorithmic shenanigans, and does not share much personal info compared to other apps. It's also great for hangouts, discussion, and other social activities. As far as existing mutual aid structures, I'm fortunate to live in an area where the SRA is active, well vetted, and knowledgeable. There's always a path to find or start one locally too. EDIT: I forgot to mention, discord was the best radicalization tool for me in 2019/2020. I followed a lot of leftist streamers in that time with very good moderation and supportive members. (This always depends on the admins, however, and is labor in itself.)
thank you for this video. seeing people respond to all these events with "just move" has been so infuriating. it's victim-blaming, and i wish more people would see the harm that helps perpetuate.
Did they watch the video? Did they actually watch it and then decided to do this on purpose to upset people? Like a child looking for attention in a silent cry for help?
It also just further entrenches the problem so you can't escape. Due to how our federal government works, if the fascists control most of the states but very little of the population, eventually they control the federal government and can override any blue state protections.
As a trans woman who got out of Kentucky during the pandemic-I would've been boned without the good fortune of getting the stimulus checks. I can't imagine how I'd accomplish it now that the economy has returned to 'normal.' That's *despite* leaving all my possessions with family and only brining one suitcase worth of things with me. Just the cost of plane tickets, housing, and food for the first few weeks is prohibitive for most single millennials/Gen Z'ers. Let alone actually trying to bring an entire family and their belongings. Most folks can't even come up with $2000 in an emergency, let alone 30 or 40 or 50k or more.
Stoked to return for ideas in the comments. As a nearly-40, also-very-tired leftist, I, too, wonder what smaller projects we can get going in our communities that are scalable and sustainable.
Please, anybody that wishes to start a business, make it a co-op. This can look like starting on your own until you have enough profit to hire, preferably with almost equal pay, one or two other people. This can also look like having enough money (don't like the word capital here) to hire a few people outright. Co-ops are resistant to economic shock, so that's an advantage. They often grow slower, and hiring and firing can be tricky, but there aren't enough of them to figure out how to work around this. You don't even have to be the CFO or anything. You can just watch over things etc, make sure the paperwork is tight and take some profit. Making it contagious makes it better. You can design, and someone else can work the hiring/firing/financials. Please *don't* start a non-profit. They're often kneecapped in the States, but, if you insist, you can still make it a co-op. Having a benevolent business is a great way to set up the necessary scaffolding to really help people in all sorts of ways. Much love. 🙂 And, not saying *you* should start a business per se, but, as you're getting older, it may not be the worst idea in the world, though, the 'very tired' thing might put a wrench in all that. xD
I think this is basically how society used to function. Anybody who needed something done knew a guy who knew a guy, and we organized through word of mouth. I'm not sure there's just one reason we stopped that can be easily fixed. Communities have gotten more fragmented, we communicate less, people are too busy doing a job that barely provides for them to worry about other people, some problems require more expertise than is reasonable to lend in this economy, and people have just gotten used to paying a stranger to do things for them. This seems like another symptom of capitalism to me.
@@chloesibilla8199...never tried going to church then? The sermons typically only last an hour, and then people stay around for a few more to mingle. But nah, you guys just assume we're crazy and that everything everyone has ever done is pointless.
you're crazy. theres non religious people too, church shouldn't be the only place to socialize. also, this might shock you.... theres also other religions! like thousands of them!
Stay strong & stay safe! The Rainbow Railroad is an org that's trying to help people just like you right now. They usually help people in countries you think of first when you think of the criminalization of Queer Communities. They're like the Underground Railroad for Queer people. Unfortunately, they've had to pivot a lot of resources to the US lately as things continue to get really bad for folks in red states. Maybe look them up & reach out to see if they can help you. I'm sorry this is happening. I know it isn't enough but if it helps, there are a lot of us out here who see these laws meant to harm you & we're outraged. We are on your side & we have your back, or at least we want to, but don't know hie to tangibly help. I just want you to know that I know a lot of people who wouldn't go to a protest or join an org, but who are firmly on your side. The loudest aren't actually the most. There are more people like my dad who isn't politically active but supports Trans rights as a personal value than there are like Matt Walsh. It's the same issue as this video though. How do wer break through people's burnout to activate them to fight for any cause or community? Anyway, I thought maybe it might help to hear that more people than you know are with you. ❤ Keep being unapologetically you. We love & support you. Lots of love.
I live in Michigan and the state has made some serious policy changes for the better. An industry group in Michigan is promoting the state as a refuge for LGBTQ people, considering the legislature amended the state civil rights act to include that group, signed by the governor. Michigan and Minnesota need to exchange notes and share our homework with Wisconsin and Ohio.
I'm nearly a life-long Ohio resident and committed to sticking it out here and improving what I can... but I read this and had an immediate recoil. We aren't even close to becoming a refuge. Maybe for abortion rights if we pass the constitutional amendment? Not for queer folks, let alone queer kids though.
I moved to Michigan to escape bevin Kentucky, as much as I miss my family and friends I love what the government has been doing here to actually improve and grow.
@@mxpants4884 as someone born in Michigan and currently living in Ohio, there is such a difference between the two states. I don't feel nearly as safe here as I did in MI. I truly hope Ohio heads in the right direction.
I bring this up constantly with peeps, like.......the last time I tried to leave where I live, I drove seven hours with all my things in my car to room with my best friend. I own next to nothing, and it still cost me more than I could afford on my own. It didn't work out, and now where could I possibly go? Come hell or high water, this is where I am and am likely to stay barring a situation arising where I could plausibly claim asylum in Canada or something.
@@Korzacks2nd Assuming I could just toss a bag in my car and leave, and not thinking about questions like passport, or a place to live or anything but getting there, it would at least be a few hundred dollars, but that would be cutting it down to just gas and food for the trip. If I wanted to not like.......live in my car or a refugee camp? Fuck if I know. Fortunately I live someplace that is more than likely, in my mind, to be spared any particular circumstance where it would be necessary as opposed to just preferable for me specifically.
Thanks. Idk about hauling all the stuff, or just driving here, but maybe the costs could be cut down a little bit via a bus ticket, but yeah the more expensive part would be housing and necessities once you got here.@@BlindErephon
Honestly I think free food is a big way forward. It is a huge cooking time saver for all the guests without being an excessive labour burden on the cooks. Makes going to meetings easier when you aren't worrying about the housework you are delaying while attending to them.
@@ThatDangDad yes agree! And so many great meals are entirely affordable in bulk The problem is distribution, because polies come down hard on free food distribution!!
Excellent point, most people can only realistically engage in the movement when they are not giving up their daily duties to do so, and not going energy bankrupt doing it all, that is amazing!!! 🖤💜💙💚💙🌹🖤 Much Love!!
Long term idea that worked here: small neighborhood/block party just to get to know people and what they do. It’s easier to ask for help from a person in a friendly mindset than it is to ask for help from someone in a business mindset. To me this exists in the “third spaces” type idea.
This is definitely part of it, I think. My last neighborhood was *awesome* to the point where I was suspicious at first as to why my direct neighbor was so nice. But they had developed a community together and invited my family into it. Part of it was block parties, part of it was going through covid and a bad winter emergency together, part of it was there were a lot of kids around the same age who played with each other.
This is a phenomenal video that leads into a lot of great topics to explore - some of the major reasons for a loss of community support comes down to how atomized our economic system has left the average person, and how lacking in mutually-beneficial voluntary socialization we all experience as adults trying to make ends meet. We lack third places to spend time together without the expectation of spending money to build these connections that lead to the sort of 'you help me, I help you' organic networking you're talking about. When news networks and social media push stories about violent crime, violence between supposed neighbors, and community unrest, it leaves us untrusting and struggling to network with one another - We all have seen stories where someone knocks on a neighbor's door for help, and said neighbor ends up pulling a gun on them. Car culture atomizes and isolates us by making it difficult to get anywhere with any amount of people without specifically-driving there, and the overemphasis on car infrastructure over everything else makes it difficult to casually go somewhere to meet people and network when everyone has to get in the car, get out on the highway, drive X minutes, find parking, etc. We are encouraged to buy everything we could ever possibly need rather than borrow from others, because everyone buying something they use once is more profitable to corporations than a broader group sharing one thing - imagine how many lawn mowers just sit in garages all day for the majority of the year, only to be whipped out for an hour or two every two weeks by the owner, and how insanely-inefficient that idea is. Definitely a great watch, and plenty of room to have follow-up videos and further research/topics. Keep it up, Dad. ♥
Nah, I don’t hate you. I’m glad you’re in a financially stable situation - at least some of us should be! I’m in California trying to live off disability payments. I’ve had people suggest that I move to a cheaper state, and I’m like “Right. Pay money to move a thousand miles away to a state that doesn’t want me, where I know no one, and I have less options for extra care? No thanks.” It would be nice if there was more community. If Nextdoor wasn’t such a horrid mess of people saying they want to sh**t anyone who steps foot on their driveway, it would be great.
I struggle with this. As someone who works in IT I could donate my time to help people with their computer troubles so they don't have to go to an expensive computer repair shop to fix a simple problem. The problem is that anyone who is "good at computers" knows how that ends up. Everything that goes wrong with the computer after you touch it is your fault, and though you aren't being paid you are somehow expected to work like you're being paid thousands an hour while often being treated worse than you ever would be by a normal user at your day job. This is so bad that many "good with computers" guys pretend that they aren't, even to their own families. I imagine that many people start out friendly and willing to help and get burned so many times that they end up only working for pay. I can't say I blame them. Who would want to spend their free time being a human punching bag?
As a person who has a 'big car' in a country where that isn't the norm I have been contacted by so many people because they knew I had one and just got dropped when I needed something in the future. Too many people take advantage and not responsibility which is a shame. Doesn't mean I don't show up with my 'big car' whenever people I'm truly close with need it tho, it just means that whenever I draw a line and state that boundary people become really resentful, entitled and angry which is exhausting to deal with sometimes.
You could do more than that. If all you tech people got together today and demanded x problem be solved, it would be solved tomorrow. It's a shame most of you are selfish, bigoted tech bros.
Thanks for this video. I'm a leftist in Florida trying to help out my family and my neighbors, and I'm absolutely sick that the sentence "I live in Florida" is treated like both setup and punchline by so many other leftists outside of the state. I'm sick of being called part of the problem by the fact that I'm completely unable to move (unless one of those jackasses decides to give my family the $500,000 it'd take to move anywhere given current housing prices) and am trying to make the state I was born in better.
Some people are just obsessed with moralizing everything in bad faith. They need to be antagonized so, ironically, they can justify being bullies. This isn't an expressly liberal or leftist or right-wing phenomenon. It's just political internet culture. They frame you as the antagonist, even someone who may share many of their own convictions, for what? Living in a place where you have roots? There's no logic behind it. I see value in leftists staying in areas that are going increasingly right-fascist. We have the opportunity to try to act as a stabilizing force, to hold ourselves to a high standard, and push back against the forces driving housing instability, homelessness, incarceration, gay and trans hate, racism, and so on. I also see real value in moving for those who are seeing a pattern of increasingly fascist tendencies intensify and worry about themselves and their families. These are personal decisions mediated by people's means and circumstances. Those people hating on you are bad faith leftists who need to feel important or something
@@s.teamspark3858 Yup, this whole "why don't you left that State" is in the same vein as american right winger complain about us, European, mocking them for their gun fetishism and their poor understanding of basic leftist ideas. "Why do you care, it isn't your country" is often something they say when they understand we are foreigner. They fail to understand how everything is interconnected theses day. They also fail to understand basic empathy. Red States shouldn't be the shit show they are and the sad part is that the game is kinda rigged over there.
You're touching on a really big thing here. If everyone that could leave did, then who is left to support the people who can't leave? If everyone leaves that doesn't fix the problem, it would probably make it worse. I'm not shaming people that do leave. But we also need people to stay and do the work.
I find it fascinating that people don't understand how cities crumble when those with the means can move to the suburbs, leaving only those without the means, in the 'city'. Detroit comes to mind.
Its only natural that the monster of mass manufacturing swallows its own tail. Ppl say "if we dont pay taxes, who will build the roads?" and I say "Thats a good reason to not pay taxes." We the Pedestrians must reclaim the streets.
I love how you detailed what it took to move and that it is not an option that most (or many) have. It’s surprising how many do not understand that fact. I’m a single mom that has been stuck in a cycle of poverty and lack for years. My children and I have found ourselves chronically homeless (and I don’t mean couch surfing homeless. I mean looking for the safest dumpster to sleep behind homeless because finding emergency shelters where we could stay is it’s own challenge. There’s never enough beds.). We live in one of the most expensive metropolises in the nation, and if I ever had the opportunity and means to move somewhere less expensive, I’d jump on that opportunity. It’s never been an option though. So much has to line up to make something like that happen, and it’s wild how so many think families like mine can just decide to up and leave their current location and flee to a less expensive locale. It requires some degree of privilege and/or luck for anyone to be detached enough from the world around them to hold the belief that moving like that is an option available to everyone, and those who do not make that move are either too dumb or selfish to just get it done. In an effort to avoid another eviction (for inability to pay rent; not for bad behavior) I created a gofundme beginning of September. It’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. A RUclipsr that lives near me asked if he could do a video on my family and I and he put the gofundme link in the video description. The video was released about 2 weeks ago and has already surpassed 200K views. Not only have a handful of people been donating and helping financially, but I’ve also had 2 mechanics volunteer their time (and even offered to pay for parts) to keep my 12 year old car with 180K miles on it going. I’ve had wonderful, encouraging messages come in from people also and I can sincerely say that I’ve felt and benefited from those prayers/vibes/well-wishes directed my way too. It has done much good to know that there are people who simply care and want my daughters and I to have our basic needs met and be successful. Honestly, I think I’ve received almost an equal amount of negative comments as i have positive. Thankfully though I’ve been able to remain focused on the love and let it overpower the hate. People who don’t know me have been making a bunch of false assumptions and using them to justify their disgust with me and others like me. BUT… it is so awesome to see how many (with no obligation to care about my kids and I) show up to say “we love y’all and want to see you thrive”… that’s been incredibly touching and powerful. I have been astounded though how many have been annoyed by my story to the point that they have taken the time to google search me and find my personal contact info; which they then have been using to fling hate and disgust my way. They have zero ability to relate and they have been sold on the idea that homeless are all drug addicted, mentally incompetent, and/or too lazy to take care of themselves. Not only this, but they themselves are secure enough in their lives to have the time to put this much effort into digging for my contact info just so they can tear me down and tell me how I am a great example of everything wrong in America. I’ve had so many telling me how dumb I am for staying in a place so expensive that I cannot afford (they assume I’ve had better options) and the other quick assumptions they’ve made about my children and I are so far from the truth it’s just jaw dropping. It’s stunning to me how so many people right around me live in realities so opposite my own, that they can hold such beliefs and delusions about the realities of living in this country and opportunities available to all here. It’s like they think liberty and justice are for all, and they have no clue it’s reserved for the privileged and those with the $ to purchase them. They also seem to have this idea in their heads that consistent hard work and discipline is all one needs to give in order to take care of basic needs and prosper. If only!!! These beliefs are as ridiculous as believing Santa comes thru every xmas to reward all well behaved children. I don’t want to overemphasize the negative here… while I have had a lotta mud slung my way, I have been blessed with much love and support that is giving me so much hope. It’s comforting to know that a lot of people get it and want to make changes which will turn this world into a healthier place for our children and the planet as a whole. It’s worthwhile though to be aware that a fat portion of the population is drowning in a sea of misinformation, and there’s so much work to be done otherwise they have the potential to sink us all. I love the question you’ve proposed here though! What a great one to brainstorm!!! I wish I had good ideas to offer up. I don’t. But just wanted to throw some support behind the idea that we should be working on this! Some network where those in need are connected with those with the ability to help. I was raised in a cult that would still argue that is exactly who and what they are, with the added perk of being gods one and only true church on the face of the earth. Many of the members legit believe the church is this perfect network. 🙄 and it’s not possible to roll my eyes hard enough at this notion lol.
What sucks is social media like Nextdoor in theory should be a decent tool for things like this but the reality... Well, i have seen you post about nextdoor before lmao
While the introvert part of me is absolutely terrified of the the idea talking to strangers near me, I will admit that when I used to rent, in a different city, walking around my area (in the limited introvert way I could), I couldn't help but notice that a bunch of people were moving in and out of the apartment complex. If I had time, or it wasn't a weekday, I tried to just stop by and ask if they needed help. Most of the time, I was told that they were fine, and I moved on. Occasionally they said yes, and I spent the next hourish helping someone. I don't know if I ever talked to those people again, but I do know that it didn't harm me to ask. I'm not saying that it was a good idea in retrospect (though I never felt unsafe), but perhaps the observation aspect could be of use? To observe what is happening around you and ask yourself "how can I help my community with it's community specific issues?" And perhaps for the aspect of organizing in some manner, could there be some sort of way a verification could happen, and then you get a pin or a card that could signal to people that you aren't a creeper or believe problematic things? I dunno, but with all of the union stuff going on, wouldn't this, in a way, be similar in membership?
That's very interesting and true. My feeling is that there's people (literally) dying for a feeling of connection and maybe some scheme that aggregated those requiring specified types of help, perhaps pdf'ed local requirements of people who had somehow been vetted, then was posted regularly (including on physical noticeboards)... Mutual aid societies probably have the expertise...
This is something I'd like to be a part of, myself. Despite currently being in recovery for top surgery, and me not being the most adept at socializing with people in the first place. I've seen in my apartment building, a fellow tenant and Queer friend of mine, put out masks, and temporary libraries, and extra food. I feel like, there are many ways to start something, that puts community mentality at the forefront, and it doesn't have to be something major. If it means, just getting your friends together and their friends, and opening up that communication whether on discord, or facebook, or whatever, it can work out. Now, even though I know a number of folks, and have "friends", I don't always feel like that connection is there to ask. Part of the hardest hurdle might be in finding folks willing to ask for help. So in short, it depends on what your context is, what you have to offer, but I imagine that tech savy folks might have more ideas of ways in keeping online spaces well moderated, to weed out bad faith actors when they pop up....cause, there are gonna be those sort anywhere you accumulate large groups of people.
My partner and I (both trans) are fleeing Georgia and going to Washington. We started planning more than a year ago and literally had to fund it through gofundme. If it weren’t for the kindness of others, we would not be able to escape. We’re terrified of the upcoming election, so we are leaving everything behind other than 300 cubic feet of belongings and our cats. It’s heartbreaking and we will be starting essentially from scratch, but at least we will be in an area where the government isn’t likely to cut off our healthcare or turn a blind eye to violence.
as a trans Washingtonian, we're happy to have you here!! I know so many trans people who've moved here from other states and now never want to leave the state 💖
I've been kicking around an idea like this for a while, and there's three key components. The easiest one is mapping needs to people willing to help. Sign up with your assets you're willing to donate, skills, tools, etc. and "able body" is an asset that not everyone has. Then, when you enter your needs, the people with those assets can be paired to you. However, this isn't a problem I can program my way out of... The much harder problem is community safety. This goes from preventing bigotry and harm from being perpetuated by the platform, to building it in such a way that aid doesn't only go to people who look like the people giving it. The even harder problem is adoption from regular people. Your neighbor electrician might be willing to come out and check your outlets for a beer, but that can't happen in neighborhoods where electricians don't live. This compounds with the above problem, meaning this kind of mutual aid requires *radical trust* from people to buy in. I think grassroots community groups like tool libraries and block parties are necessary to build the solidarity required for this sort of mutual aid network to spread further.
I live in Vancouver, a notoriously cold and unfriendly city. But, as a kid I lived in a social housing complex in one of the surrounding suburban areas. The kids all played togetger, neighbors knew each other. Everybody helped each other out. Not to say there weren't fights and grudges and the usual stuff you get with groups of people, but that area is the only place I've personally lived in the vancouver area that really had that. One of the things that I genuinely believe did like 70% of the heavy lifting in regards to maintaining the networked social cohesion we had, was monthly potluck dinners in the small community hall we had in the complex. Sharing food is one of the most simple and genuine expressions of love, and love destroys borders.
Welcome to Minneota, we're happy to have ya! As someone from MN it's so bittersweet to hear about people coming to my state because it feels like a safer place to be, I'm glad we aren't facing the backwards slide into fascism that our neighbors are, but also it hurts so bad that people have to literally flee from their homes to escape danger. I hope you are able to find community in Minneapolis and help your neighbors. Honestly a great city to be in. It's pretty common to have things like block parties, invite people over for fires/grill nights, and to sit on your front yard and drink with the neighbors. Just getting outside and walking you dog or going for bike rides is a great way to have a presence in you area and to get to know other people. Don't be nervous to have a housewarming party or a yard sale or something to get you outside. Anything to get your foot in the door and to start making connections.
I think one thing we can all do is actively resist our knee-jerk individualist, which tells us asking for help would be a burden to others and make us look weak. Most people are very happy to be asked to help someone in need; it feels good for the helper and builds the bond between you. Personally, I feel honored when someone asks me for help because I know how difficult it can be to overcome that barrier of toxic individualism.
I'm a married gay man in south Louisiana. Just this past weekend, my state lost the last Democratic governor in the deep south and voted in a Trump acolyte known for targeting my community. Even before this, with the change in SCOTUS, my husband and I have actively talked about leaving, but keep hitting three barriers: 1) Where to?, 2) With what money?, and 3) Can I restart my career elsewhere? It's actually hard for queer people like myself who are used to low cost of living & wages facing the prospects of moving to safer but more expensive states. Hopefully things won't get that dire but I'm right here with TDD - if anybody can come up with meaningful solutions by all means let it be known.
This is a great and important video people can use as reference to folks who tell people that if they dont like somewhere, to leave. I'm glad you are willing to speak openly about money and your own privilege of having access to it and other necessities. I really hate how corporate culture convinced folks that discussing money is unprofessional or rude or whatever, its just another means of control. We should all be talking openly about this kind of bullshit, and its the kind of thing that may actually drag a few folks more leftwards when they hear the struggles of their friends and coworkers. My partner and I have basically tripped our asses upwards into having stable housing, 2 vehicles, and a network to support us should things go bad, simply due to wealthy family and sheer luck. I ALWAYS point out thay we had zero merit to earn or deserve it, which seems to make people uncomfortable. Its confusing to folks when I tell them I did absolutely nothing to deserve what we have (and in fact with my past as an addict who hurt lots of people in the process probably should have landed in jail), and still somehow have a home that we only have to pay property taxes on. It really helps tear down the idea of meritocracy when I basically admit to people I'm a "bad" person who still won.
Yeah, i was vacillating back and forth between talking openly about numbers, housing value, retirement accounts etc versus feeling like it was bragging or being annoying, but you're right, it's a corporate mindset that tells us to hide our salaries and shy away from talking money because keeping things hidden covers over a multitude of sins
@@ThatDangDad It's appreciated and important. If people see how this is even difficult for people with 4 cars and 6k in savings, maybe they'll have some understanding for how it is for people living paycheck to paycheck.
As another software guy my first instinct was also an app but I don’t think going further down the detached digital path is good. I think the solution is in a way “have more friends” and what I mean by that is public social events that might start by having some sort of announcements and facilitated sign up for people in need of help. The sign up list helps with public accountability and if people aren’t comfortable letting just anyone help they can directly ask the person they met through these social events. I think it’s important to make this community building not just a help network. Make people care about each other before you ask them to volunteer.
Yeah. See vids on 'third places'. I think digital and physical will go hand in hand. I'm not a big fan of Zuck but a vid with him and is it Alexi something the other week showed that we soon will be able to converse quite naturally with people in other countries.
I don't know if this is THE answer or even part of the answer, but my husband does a lot of stuff himself. He reads a lot of different books and watches a lot of different videos to learn how to do things. The best example is when we lived in Florida, we wanted solar for the house. Running the ac practically year round was extremely expensive, and solar was a good option. So we got quotes but they were all close to 100 thousand dollars, so he read tons, watched a lot of videos and with the guidance of his BIL, he brought the panels and installed them himself. When the inspector came by, he said his work was flawless. My husband works in IT, not an electrician. He always says he can do things people pay for a thousand times better, and he really does. Maybe some of us could learn how to do some of the pay people things and share that knowledge with others. Maybe that is part of the solution.
Yeah I learned how to replace my headlights and taillights from a RUclips video. I also learned how to fix part of my furnace at one point. If you have the time and patience, you can learn a LOT
Just wanted to say howdy to my new neighbor in advance. My girlfriend and I are both trans and we're in the process of fleeing Missouri for Minnesota. I'm disabled, we're in a ton of debt, and holy hell it's gonna be rough. Wish us luck
My partner and I are both trans and fleeing Georgia. They’re disabled, we’re low income. It’s so much stress. I really wish the best for you and yours in your journey. Solidarity.
I fell off a scaffold 3-months ago and, even though it was an obvious work-related injury, I couldn’t get Workman’s Comp because I was on a W-9. The one thing that was a huge up-side was that I fell in Oregon and I went to OHSU. 3-months later and I’m walking again. Meanwhile, I met a guy with the exact same x-rays I have but he fell in Texas instead. We both got financially ruined by our injuries but Oregon Health Plan mitigated a lot of that for me and I recovered three times faster.
Thank you for talking about how hard moving from a red state is. You're the first person I've heard give voice to how hard it is. My trans and queer family fled Kentucky this summer. We were way out in the middle of nowhere and while my old neighbors partied that we left, no one would have helped us leave. We didn't have the money, but it just felt too dangerous to stay. We started job hunting in March (took the first full time offer in Illinois) sold everything and left in May. We were homeless until basically July. The house we found hadn't been cleaned in decade. But the down payment was 100% of our profit off out KY house. So now our mortgage is the same as the original mortgage we got 12 years ago but with a higher interest rate and on a worse house. My car was totaled at a red light as soon as we moved in, so now we're down to one car and one income because my trans autistic self hasn't found where willing to hire me around car sharing hours. It felt too dangerous to stay but coming has been so traumatic I worry it was a mistake. And I have no idea how to find help (or help that not months of wait list long) I feel so cut off and isolated and hopeless and most of the people I've meet laugh when I I say we fled genicide
Some cities have tool lending libraries. I wonder if there could be a directory set up alongside a tool lending library as like a skill lending library
I am part of a smallish online community that has sprung from an MMORPG we were all playing just to socialize. I'm not playing anymore due to lack of time and energy but still member of the discord group. Because friends. We have started a second group for exactly the things you are talking about. With some more lucky ones of us throwing some money together, we managednto get someone a brand new PC for gaming and art making, two trans people were able to move out of Florida with our help, one got a new phone when they needed one.... It's not much. But these are people close to my heart so I am happy to be able to help.
An interesting thing that came to mind is the loss of 3rd places and public spaces which would have served as a central hub where you could atleas know and approach those around you kinda serving as a repository/directory of ppl and skills that were local to you
Third places would contribute greatly to solving this kind of issue. If people had places they could hang out and socialize with their local communities, then our communities would be more connected. We all live so far from each other today that socializing becomes an event in itself rather than the default. If people had easier access to a "Third Place" you could just go down to your local hangout and say "I've got a 12-pack of beer and a big pile o' sticks in my yard I want gotten rid of" and you'd probably be able to find someone who lives nearby, likes beer, and is more than willing to throw sticks around for a few minutes. The people at your local "third place" would typically be people you know or are at least passingly familiar with if you ever spent any time there. IT'S TOO FAR: The problem being that our cities, and by extension our entire society, is designed directly against this concept. "Local" places aren't so local any more. You often can't, or just really wouldn't want to walk to these places either because it's too far or because its not safe or enjoyable. Guess you'll have to drive there but since everyone has to drive, every place has to have parking. So everything is spread out between parking lots, so much so that even in the same plaza people will exit one store, get in their car, and drive 100 yards to park at the next store. If people could walk or take public transit, we could haveless parking and these things would be closer together. CLOSER TO THE PEOPLE USING THEM. IT'S NEVER FREE: Most of the time you're expected to pay for some kind of service if you want to be there as well. You can't go to a diner and just hang out, you have to pay for a meal. Want to go to a club? Pay a cover charge plus a two drink minimum. Want to go to a casino? Better play something or be told to leave. People used to have malls to hang out in but anti-loitering laws have done away with that as well. The last thing we sort of have is parks, but those just simply aren't enough. Nobody knows anybody any more because we all live on our own little island.
I volunteer for a fire department and it kind of functions that way. I know someone who could do something and they know they know me, who can build tables and other stuff. After reading David graebers “debt: the first 5000 years” i believe that the sole purpose of capitalism is to replace the social credit system we were incubated and evolved to encompass. Money is a means of exchange for goods add services, and this is key, between strangers. When humans do this it necessarily decouples us from that interdependent social exchange of mutual indebtedness all humans have to each other as a fact of our survival. Thus, the people who thrive in such a system necessarily are forced to act in a manner that would be considered sociopathic. The antidote is to meet in community to start to develop networks that support humans you know reciprocally and to use that network in such a manner whenever it can be used instead of engaging with the larger capitalist economy.
One thing I've been wanting to try is a community barn/shed full of tools like shovels or a push mower . The kinds of stuff you keep two of in your shed and didn't remember you had two of so you whent out and bought a third one. Imagine, instead of everyone individually having to buy one of all of these tools we just have one. It would be great for people who just moved in and haven't accumulated a collection of their own or people who just need this one thing for a project and don't have one . With all the money your not spending buying a whole shed of tools over the course of a decade you could buy a really cool lathe! And now everyone has a lethe for that thing they wanted to build but diy-ing it would require 1000$ of dollars of tools that you don't have! Seriously it's like every diy tutorial is like "this is so easy anyone can do it" *pulls out very specific specialized tool that Costa like 60$* ! I just need access to a CNC machine and capitalism is cooked and so are all those anti homeless spikes because I'm making a platform that will sit on top of them that folds up into a breafcase so a homeless guy can pick it up and take it with him!
Things that: .can be reused (not food, or underwear or notebooks but all those might be cool too just for a different thing) . otherwise would be sitting collecting dust , not living up to it's value potential and taking up space in someones house (see: crockpot you only use once a year or the juicer you haven't touched since your juicing phase) .is durable and can be used by multiple people and still be valuable .low maintenance, can just sit on a shelf in the meantime.
I think it would be neet , if someone wanted to move out and didn't want to bring their little red wheelbarrow full of towels and the rest of their shed with them. Hey look! A convenient place to dump trowels and pots and such! Suddenly the community just got a brand new push mower , like 20 trowels and several bags of dirt! Woo! Look at all these jars! I'm going to put moss in one of them!!
I think this would be a great idea, there could be a clipboard to record who used which tool when (like a library record) and it'd help with knowing how many of each tool is needed, how often something needs repaired or replaced, or if a tool goes missing who might know where it is (I couldn't fault anyone for forgetting or misplacing a tool since I do that all the time)
i underwent something similar moving my wife and i from PA to WA in 2022 for grad school. its expensive and if not for her being able to get a credit card with a 10k limit we would not have been able to leave, despite my acceptance into a fully funded Ph.D. program that also gave me a moving grant (not available until we started in the fall, ofc). ty for sharing your story to help everyone understand how we cannot abandon our fellow humans who live in red states 💛
I always wanted to leave this state and now with everything the way it is I feel even more trapped, I don't want to have to live within walking distance of where I was born my entire life, but there's rapidly becoming nowhere else to go.
I only have so much personal experience with organizing, but i think an important lesson I've learned is that irl connections are essential: the internet is great for sharing information between people, but if you want to build a durable mutual aid network, you'll need face-to-face time. As someone i met who's spent many years in the movement once said "don't confuse comrades with friends and allies with good neighbors." Commitment comes after people really connect with each other, and that seems to require sharing physical space and time.
It always kills me when people criticize people in the hood for staying there or raising their kids there, like it's nothing to pick up and move across town, much less another town, and much, much less another state entirely. It's insanely difficult and expensive and the knowledge gap on how to even do it is massive between the burbs and the hood. The only way I was able to move to another state when I've done it is having people there already to stay with, at least till I can piece by piece put my own thing together. There's no reason for it to be this way beyond a bunch of people profiting on every little step. There's a number of ways for people to go about this including something like a Freecycle for moving, making it known that it's something your org does, etc, but no, there is no existing thing like this that I know of but there absolutely should be. So it's something we'd probably have to do from the ground up.
Two things that pop into my head are those little free libraries folks are putting up in front of their houses, and that back in the day, folks would put all sorts of notices on a cork board in the front of the local supermarket. Teens up for yard work or babysitting, shadetree mechanics, block parties, local businesses, lost pets, etc. If there were a way to combine those two ideas it might serve the need. Not sure how to monitor or vet postings, this is just a loose concept so far.
It's inspiring to me that anyone is making videos like this on this platform, anyone who was once on hard times knows that answers to these questions can critically reduce harm under such an exploitative system. Thank you so much for your content.
Thanks for this video. It really helped me articulate a lot of what I feel about being a U.S. expatriate. My spouse and I moved from Minnesota to British Columbia, Canada for very much the same reasons you wanted to move your family out of Kentucky. I am almost always trying to unburden myself from the guilt I feel because as a woman of colour married to a "soft-sad white boi", I feel that I have some unearned privileges as well. I'll be sure to check out the suggestions from the people in this YT comments section. Thanks for being you.
I have helped quite a few people in my state move just by making sure they know I want to help them. When you make friends, make sure the first thing you do is offer to help clean up after you hang out, then escalate from there. If you don't hang out at home offer to help clean out the car you carpooled in, clean up the street as you go, arrange the plates for your server at a restaurant to make it easier on them, establish yourself as Mr. Clean in disguise, then, whenever they're thinking about chores, they think of you and how helpful it would be to have you there. Obviously, give within your means, and that includes you physical capabilities, and your time, but it's a rare person that can't at least help load the dishwasher. Also, make the town you live in a part of your online presence. Friends online won't ask for help with this stuff if you aren't local. Don't post your address, but take pride in where you live, and people may think of getting together with you IRL more readily if they know you're nearby.
Great post. There was a quote I heard somewhere, can't remember where, that was "Everyone wants Revolution but no one wants to do the dishes." Cooking and cleaning are such core parts to building community
We need to create new town centers. Libraries would be great for things like this. Combining a local bulletin-board (for those without a cellphone) with an app with a Library of Things would be a massive first step. Tbh there are probably loads of community meetings that people just can't find due to no centralized place for people to find each other. The easier it is for people to meet others in general is the best way for people to help each other. Encourage Third Places. Got a gaming group? Spend a day playing DnD (base rules are free online) at a local library. This weekend, if possible and feasible, go to a local library and just see what's there. Ask a librarian if there's an event board. People need to understand* each other before they can help each other imo. EDIT: For generalized mutual aid I mean.*
Welcome to Minneapolis! I wish I had more to say to answer your thoughtful questions. It is somehow a relief just to hear someone asking, and to see others engaging with the topic. I see old-fashioned flyers (lost pets, tax prep services, house cleaning, dog walking..) stapled to posts all over my SW neighborhood. That's pretty common and would not be a bad way to reach people who might be less connected or in the know about online spaces trying to organize mutual aid networks. A couple times a year there are "yard sale weekends" where entire neighborhoods put up garage or yard sales on the same weekend. It's wild. Those would be good opportunities to offer/ask for help, a very non-threatening and informal situation where people are already expecting (and more likely to engage with) some casual interactions with complete strangers. It kind of feels like one of those things that happens bit by bit when you aren't looking straight at it, and all of a sudden there you are, in the middle of it. I really hope we can figure something out. 🖤
Even apart from moving being financially costly, no matter how much money and support someone has moving away from a state with bad laws, there is always the emotional cost of leaving what you know. I shouldn't have to leave behind the things I love about my home state/city just so the government is less of a threat to me and my friends and family.
Thank you for talking so openly about this. The intense costs (money, time, energy, etc.) something that a lot of folks aren't aware of or don't think about. Especially when it comes to considering folks with disabilities. We usually can't just uproot. And being told to "just move to another country" is legitimately impossible for folks with disabilities. I've moved states a few times while trying to outrun homelessness. Usually could only afford a greyhound bus ticket and a suitcase. The toll on my body only made my health worse. And usually I had to go without food and meds because Medicaid and SNAP don't transfer across state lines and we had to reapply and wait every single time I've moved.
found out my wife is w child, and i'm in a similar mindset. Nice to have the family nearby for the first few years but we'd rather be in a more politically safe state when the time for them to go to school comes.
Some barbecue sauce sounds like a good start. Obligatory joke about how to handle the rich done, and getting serious, part of the challenge is that it's going to require holistic efforts, because if one area moves forward a bunch but others aren't then the forward motion will stall. As things are, organizing, meeting people, coordinating efforts through a larger network, and just generally being their for the neighbours when the ask, all are good things to work at, and plenty more, cause part of the problem is also a the information overload.
Every time I watch your content I always get some kind of good human value out of it. Subject was very thought provoking. I have been trying to survive by myself and honestly if I did have my parents help I would probably be homeless. Anyway, my main point is that I have been brunting everything myself, that might be noble in way but it is exhausting and discouraging for me specifically. Sorry if the comment is a bummer. Going to let the community help thing wash over me more. Cheers.
I have been thinking about this for so long. I would love an update video featuring some of the ideas! In the meantime, I set up a Facebook group for like minded locals in my area.
When we lived in metro Detroit, we had almost all the tradespeople in our network. We had grown up in the area, and had developed a network. It was the only way we could afford to work on our house that cost $129,000. Spending thousands on anything, on a house that cheap made no sense, plus we had no money. Knowing plumbers, electricians, and carpenters, plus learning to do it ourselves, and borrowing tools is the reason we renovated the entire place. Unfortunately, we sold in 2010 for a loss. The silver lining is we would have lost a fortune if we had paid market rate for everything. We've moved several times, and have never had that network again. You need to stay put for a decent amount of time to get to know all those folks. Moving every five to ten years makes developing that kind of network difficult.
I saw a video once describing how important it is to be the second person to join in. The first dude dancing by their lonesome is just a weirdo until someone comes and makes it easier for everyone to join in. I think to create the mutual aid communities we want, it's important to make friends and be either the first person who starts something or the second person to make it easier for all others to join in.
It's only a partial solution, but my local area has a "time bank" where people can exchange their time. Maybe the electrician volunteers a couple hours of time to one person, and then has a couple hours in the bank to hire, say, someone with a big truck to take stuff off their hands, or a babysitter who doesn't need money as much as they need hours to spend on internet tutoring, etc.
Incredible video. Such a relatively simple story but so personal and relatable even to people who like you mentioned simply don’t have the same privileges as you or even myself. The theory is theory is important but complicated and what gets lost is exactly what you brought up in this video so thank you
Vietnam has neighborhood councils where someone is assigned to greet everyone and there's a group chat. I know EJ and Luna talked a bunch abt it during lockdown but it made me think a lot about how a neighborhood or apartment complex could help each other.
One of the best parts of the SRA is that it gave me a community of people I can trust and work with throughout my state and the neighboring states. A member from my chapter got stranded two states over in the middle of nowhere when the greyhound bus they were on broke down and needed a ride. Within two hours they had a ride to where they were going and didn’t have to worry about spending the night in a deep red town as a trans person. Another time someone lost their job out of nowhere and had suddenly had to move by the end of the week or be evicted. We got them moved out with two days to spare for the cost of a large pizza. When you have community you can accomplish a lot. I will say that your mileage may vary depending on how active the chapters in your area are, but in the Great Lakes region it’s been great for me
I put up a friend from Kentucky for the summer so he could get his feet under him in the northeast. It's definitely something I'd like to do again but the trouble is finding the right candidate and figuring out the most equitable arrangement for that kind of long term living situation.
I think we also need to add the cost of a plane ticket and other expenses related to fleeing the USA. I live in NJ and I’m already making preliminary plans to flee to Canada
Oh definitely. There's so many weird expenses, like even beyond plane tickets, stuff like fees for getting a new license, changing car registration, moving all your prescriptions out of state, fees on fees on fees everywhere you turn
Welcome to Minnesota! And honestly,, to some degree my family here in Minnesota does some of the stuff you'd talked about. We have a tractor and last winter we had record snowfall, so we helped clear our people's driveways of snow. Or, like, I've done pet sitting for people in the area. If nothing else, talking with your neighbors is a good start. Also, speaking of snowfall, make sure you get an idea of what to expect during the winter for your area if you haven't already. Be safe and find connection!
So glad to hear your story. I recently relocated to WA on Cowlitz land from KY. I challenge your use of the word “lucky” and encourage you to openly recognize your privilege. I’m excited to go watch lots of your other videos now.
To me "lucky" contains within it that privilege. Through no action of my own, I was born in a place, in a body, to a family, that all allowed me to be who I am or more importantly, throw up extra obstacles to prevent me from being who i want to be. Privilege is a consequence of luck at the individual level and obviously a construction at the systemic level (which ought to be dismantled).
What you're asking for starts by increasing social contact between people in a locality, an idea I like is shared meals. If people can show up once a week and know that they don't need to worry about food or a baby sitter for a few hours, they're more likely to keep showing up and to have that social space become a 3rd place. From there it's a matter of starting conversations about life with an aim to get the people around you talking about their needs and what they can do for others, then translating that into action. The people around us know what they need and they understand their capacities to help others, we need to bring them together and bring that out. There's no leadership necessary for this.
It's very nice to think that people will be generally willing to help out, but like another commenter said, not many people have the time anymore. Time and energy are everything these days, and they're often associated with money. Whether you're conservative, liberal, or leftist, everyone's typically busy all the time these days. Save for my burnout periods, I can't think of a single day in the past seven years where I wasn't working or working on something. Right now, I have no hope of moving out of my current situation, at least not for a long time, and some days it just feels like total despair, that I'll never get away, and I have to lay down, put on something I feel like listening to and try to stabilize my equilibrium and ease my thoughts. I've been interested in leaving my state ever since I was in high school, and I'm still here. Parts of my state are ultra-conservative and others are more progressive, but I don't know how progressive. The capital city is a mix of both, and I still wish I never had to leave my childhood home there over a year ago - I've been having a lot of dreams about my old home lately, pretty much nightly. I currently live in one of the most conservative towns with my mom, but it is steadily getting a little progressive because more and more people from out of state seem to be moving here. For what reason, I have no idea, there's no affordable housing here (I'm lucky the house my mom inherited is paid off) and it's mostly pro-trump hogs, honkys and boomers. If the town ever gets taken over by "the soy commies", that'll be a silver lining. I can't see myself leaving my state anytime soon, and there are still things I love about it, so if I can ever make enough money with my content, I want to move to my favorite, more progressive, small university city up north (where they still get cold weather at the right times of year), continue to make a ton more content and start actually living my own life again.
I’ve been toying with building a tool share as part of a tool share program on my property. I live in a rural area in WA. Over the years; many of us in the rural area have bought a lot of tools because we have to be a little more self reliant. I have some good leftist friends and we’ve talked about how many of those tools and such sit unused for years. I have bought numerous speciality tools I only need for one project and they sit for years. We also have talked about how even in the house, we have a lot of speciality appliances that we only use on occasion. We’d love to build a tool/equipment share that is either free to use or really really cheap (only covering maintenance/replacement costs over the years). You’d probably need to become a member and being a member will include like spending some time helping to maintain the tools/equipment. But then we’d all pitch in our tools together. Maybe there’s be an annual dues or recommended donation to pay for replacement stuff as things get broken or worn out. Technology-wise, I see this as being something where we can hop online and browse all the stuff available and reserve it for certain times. Maybe there’s a community board on this where people can ask for help or offer up skills that can be taken. “I know how to rebuild a carburetor, so reach out if you need help”. In many ways, I see this as like a library model type system. It could even belong to a wider network. Maybe we don’t have a specific tool or skill or equipment, but twenty miles down the road they do and maybe it’s can be brought up like how libraries swop books from other libraries.
Brilliant as usual. Well done for the moving coping. Yes, all of this is structural, the loneliness, the desperation, the violence. Didnt know you were software designer; me too a little and my (nascent) answer to your question is technocratic; many of these organisational issues and democratic pragmatism could, to my mind, be facilitated by scaleable systems taking leaves from the books of github and stackOverflow... Let's talk next year...
Loving the new place (and is that a new camera?)! I don't have an answer to your questions, but I remember back when I lived about two hours from where I live now, there was a neighborhood I lived in for some time that had a fantastic community. Every Easter, they'd paint white rabbit footprints on the street. Every Halloween, everyone showed up and made spooky community walks at night with actors in make-up, or otherwise just hang out outside homes with fires roaring and a mix of candy and hot dogs. People turned up for each other on a regular basis. Granted, a lot of these folks were church-going old white people who might not have had the best opinions on queer people; I don't know, I was 10 or so at the time. But I miss a lot of that. I miss that feeling that everyone was looking out for each other, and not in the "are there troublemakers out on the street?" way but in the "don't worry, we'll make sure cars don't hit you" way. I don't know if things have changed there since I've moved, and I'm too scared to find out. But I wish there a lot more of that.
"The main thing I wanted to show you is all the up-front costs we had to cover", m'dude I think the main thing you wanted to show was your uncontroversial yet still excellent taste in 90's Nintendo games. Nah but seriously, great points.
Little advice from the country, is to try and build relationships with your neighbors. If you have skills or equipment (my example is my dad's snowblower attachment for the mower), offer to use them for your neighbors. My dad would snowblow about 4 or 5 country driveways pretty regularly, just because he could and they all remembered that if he ever asked them for help, or even just had a few extra eggs from their chickens. Then extend that mentality to as many people as you can, and encourage them to do the same. And a big part of this: don't expect any payment or thanks, just do it to help out your neighbors.
I do wanna give my experience as a refugee as well, since mine is a lot different from yours and extra takes are probably always appreciated by others who are figuring out if this is what's in their future. For me it was a lot cheaper, mainly because I make a point not to keep very many belongings, so when I caught wind of shit hitting the fan I was able to load up everything important to me in a couple of suitcases (mainly my computer and a few sets of clothes) and hop on a plane ride basically as soon as I figured out housing. Been a while now but IIRC the timespan I had was pretty similar to yours, about 6 weeks from when I started my search for housing to the move-in date. I additionally didn't have any family members I would need to take care of in this circumstance. I think all in all this cost me about $2000, including stuff like overlapping rent, new clothes, and simple furniture + the value of whatever I had left behind (not really sure exactly on the last one, that stuff had more sentimental value to me than monetary anyways). I was lucky enough to have a relatively good job at the time, so this was doable for me without completely breaking the bank, and with nobody really willing to show up for me. Even being able to do this relatively cheap, it's still really difficult, probably the most difficult thing I'll ever do, but for people who haven't really set down their roots, it's not impossible. Even being a minimalist, I did still have to give up a lot, but not so much that I'm dying for it. If you're able to get even a few thousand saved up, this is not some hopeless situation. If you can get help, I'd argue it's quite likely to turn out well. Now, as far as organizing neighbors willing to help eachother out goes, maybe it would be better to have an app created for this purpose rather than attempting to reclaim one? Might run afoul of poor/nonexistant moderation if using an existing app. An app like this would definitely need a high quality moderation team that aligns with its goals and that might not be what you find using another app. I'm imagining it as something you can post requests and skills on, and people could get in contact with eachother based on them. Will likely also need a way to vouch for/against and ban users, I could definitely imagine some rich entitled Karen posting all her chores on this and then copping an attitude because the person who mowed her lawn didn't do it in a suit and tie. Maybe require people do a certain number of tasks before they are allowed to post a request, but this would discriminate against people who are disabled or might not have the ability otherwise to go out and help people so a solution would need to be found that doesn't exclude them as well. It would kind of be like using our labor as a currency in this way, where people can (hopefully, this might not work out at all like I'm imagining it to in practice) complete requests knowing that it will mean they can get help with whatever issue is bothering them. I think that an idea that would be hugely valuable for this app is the use of geolocation relating to requests, almost like Pokémon Go. Set it up in a way where you can see requests near you that other people have, and maybe offer the ability to give you a notification if there is a request nearby that suits your skillset. Making it as easy as possible to get in contact with and help out others when someone wants to. The barrier for entry is a lot lower and so I expect it would see a lot more use if this is the difference between "Oh, I'm out vibing and this grandma a block or two down needs help washing her car, I'll just head over there while I'm out" and "Oh, I'm sitting at home but this grandma needs help a couple blocks down, let me get dressed and make sure I have all my keys and wallet and phone and break out of whatever flow state I might have been in before." Even if the task is the same, the context in which you ask definitely matters for how often you could convince someone to do it, so aiming for contexts where people are more likely to respond makes sense.
i just today saw reddit do exactly this. a bunch of people coming together to help someone who was going ot have to live out of their car for a while get a bunch of basic food, a camp stove to cook it on, help with basic car maintenance, a gas station card to help buy some extra fuel, because of a post they made asking what resources were available. people are eager to do this stuff, and do it anywhere they can communicate the need and ability, those communities and networks just need bolstered and reinforced, and advertised
I've heard some public libraries have Libraries of Things. This uses a centralized location, already known to the public, where you could check out A Thing rather than buying your own of A Thing. It's very good for tools that maybe you need for one use but don't have the money to buy or the space to store. It also increases use of the library, which increases funding for the library. More programs like that would be great.
It is something that is simple (but from from easy) and it all is around creating and maintaining a community network. The best videos on this that I found was from Beau of the Fifth Column. If I get more time to elaborate or I get more thoughts on this... I will type some more! Hopefully this helps getting people in the right direction.
I was here to say the same thing. I don't want to directly link videos from someone else's youtube channel because that seems rude. but he has some good videos.
I lived in MN for four years for school, I think you'll enjoy it! I know there are some bad clusters or events at times, but those exist everywhere - by and large I had really good experiences there and the people were generally really nice and kindhearted. I think your daughter will enjoy growing up in Minnesota more than Kentucky as well, no matter who she grows up to be.
This is first time ever seeing one of U'r videos. I have been a long time supporter of "Beau of the Fifth Collum" an highly recommend for exactly topics like this.
My wife has had a good time with our local "buy nothing" and plant enthusiast groups. Both have a decent anti-capitalist streak to them, and attract like-minded people. I feel like mutual aid is a natural extension of these types of groups.
I've heard there are "buy nothing" groups on Facebook but since I burned my account to ashes I haven't looked. Friends swear by them.
We're rediscovering religious charity and gardening, and I'm all for it.
I was going to mention Buy Nothing too, definitely seems like a great model for this idea
@@The2012Aceman That's not the case, no. The socialist case is that charity as it's understood is an affront, a signal that the structure of society has failed, not a personal virtue.
Gardening was never lost, either. We're restructuring it around community gardens instead of the abomination of the SFH yard, but it was never covered.
I would be worried I was mingling with right wing libertarians. One minute you are talking about chicken farming the next minute they are talking about shooting the BLM people when they come to “our town” to rob us when “the storm” comes
I’m probably paranoid because my “mommy and me” play group descended into a bunch of caddy women complaining about the kid with autism they thought was “weird”. Wow is me when you are a middle class married white woman people assume that you are one of them and let the racism/ableism fly
Since back in the day when I was trapped in a crap state for years, I have struggled with this question.
Honestly the main reason I think people can't show up for others is because everyone is burnt out and at their wits end already. They have no energy or time left after they are done with work and their kids.
I remember a study I saw from a while ago where they were trying to understand people who gave money to the homeless on the street. And who would stop their day to help a stranger move a piece of furniture up 4 flights of stairs for no reward? Who gives? Who doesn't? Why?
The main predictor of whether a person would help was Time. Do they have time? That was it. It was not a deep question about their morality or their demographics (although it has been shown poor people are far more likely to donate money than the rich). The main predictor was time. Are they running late? Are they on a stroll or do they need to be somewhere? That kind of blew my mind but when I thought back on the times when I didn't or did help strangers, that was the deciding factor ultimately. Was I on my way to class or work? Or was I taking the scenic route home on a nice day? I was absolutely far more likely to help a stranger on the latter days.
So in a big abstract way, I think the rise of unions is one solution. Unions ensure people are less worn down, they have more time, more money, and just more capacity to help others in general. They are not so occupied with surviving and scrambling to put on their own oxygen mask, so-to-speak.
Once Unions are in full force, and more people have more time and energy, I think we could then look to the software soyboys to use tech to find efficient and ethical ways to connect the people who need connecting.
Well then I think you have the kernel of something there on how we start. Maybe it isn’t how we help each other in general, maybe the first thing we do is figure out how do we help each other get more time back? I think for those of us who have time to offer, we use that as our in, so to speak.
Don’t get me wrong, saving money is great but help a person save time and they’ll really appreciate it.
Guarantee you half of all software products in dev right now are geared toward time saving applications. At least inside of businesses that is.
@@GulfCoastGrit Indeed. I do believe the biggest obstacle to Community at this juncture is not *how* to connect people, but the fact that our economy sucks us all dry of all the time & energy we would otherwise use to contribute to Community in the first place.
CEO's have gotten what they wanted: the highest possible ROI they could get from human bodies. And their success is reflected in a widespread inability to even take care of our own physical needs, let alone the needs of others. People barely get to rest anymore. We crash. We do damage control. But we don't get true restoration, not most of us.
Unions are the next, most realistic step. It is something individuals can start at their own place of work, and it's something that catches on and spreads and inspires others to do the same.
Highly recommend A More Perfect Union to anyone reading who wants to keep up with news on Unions (primarily in the u.s.). In my eyes, Unions are the best chance we've got at a better life and a chance for true Community.
Fun fact: did you know that Maslow (creator of Maslow's hierarchy of needs) at some point decided that the tippy top of the pyramid was not actually Self-Actualization, but Self-Transcendence? This isn't widely known. But is it any surprise that the selfish people in charge would have us all believe that the pinnacle of human achievement is pure selfishness? No.
The true pinnacle of human achievement is this: many self-actualized people who have their needs met so well that they have transcended the need to focus only on themselves and can thus focus on working together for higher goals, Big Picture goals for their country & society. That is who we really are. That is humanity at our best.
@@DeLaSoul246 I also recommend Labor Notes as well. Excellent publication for keeping up with unions.
Something like a community garden might help. Fresh veggies for free saves money, which could mean one less shift picked up every few weeks. Or something like a outdoor community movie night, if you can afford a projector setup (they're about $100).
Thank you for this! I haven't liked to be told that we are getting meaner and greedier all over the country just because we're bad and getting worse. Personal experience says this is just not so.
It fits with the "distrust the system" campaigns, though. It's a distrust everyone, especially your neighbor" campaign.
No wonder big corporations want so much more than "full time" for a salary. That's also why they want us to use our vacation days instead of sick time, and penalize parents who have to take care of sick kids, and so on, and so on.
It isn't so much that they want more hours for the same pay (though that's great too), it's that they want to keep us too busy to look for better employment, further our educations, raise our own children or even cook decent food!
Im in a trans mutual aid network in Washington state that does a lot of the things you mention in this video. A year ago it was just maybe a dozen of us on a Discord server, now we're over 300 strong and still growing, doing everything from ridesharing to helping folks relocate from red states. I personally helped someone get on a plane out of Texas just a couple weeks ago. There are difficulties for sure, but human determination and ingenuity can overcome even the oppressive systems we put in place ourselves.
that's really wonderful to hear
I'm so glad it works in real life! I watched the French film "Discount" and thought a community co-op seems so amazing in theory, but I was seriously doubtful it can work when people act like people, ya know?
@@habeashumor9814 That's the insidious nature of capitalism, and more broadly, the state. The state assumes control of all aspects of life, disenfranchising us from our communities and making us feel helpless. Capitalism's structures of incentive (you know, selfishness, greed, fucking people over) provides the state with the ideological ammunition that it *needs* to exist. It *needs* to exist in order to rein in our "evil human nature". A "human nature" that only appears to be so, because of how our society has been organized. We live in a society where nobody needs each other to survive. Where there is no incentive to help our fellow human beings; and so a lot of people don't! If we lived in social structures where mutual aid, community, altruism, etc. were incentivized by the very structure of society, than those things would be selected for and expressed by the population. It's a culture that we build, just as the world we live in today is also a culture that has been built and maintained.
As a fellow trans Washingtonian, could I get some info on this group? I went looking for something local that wasn't just Portland with no luck last summer during fire season. I'm hoping to have more time/energy for volunteering for shit once I escape the Amazon hellhole.
Also trans and in WA (Seattle area). Florida refugee. Would love to know more
I'm in a Discord server with a bunch of locals (within an hour drive of one another) and while it isn't specifically meant for this kind of thing, we've used it for similar purposes in the past. It's something of a joke that the same Ikea bags have moved a lot of us into new spaces, and we show up for each other to help with the move because it doubles as hanging out with friends. Someone recently was able to buy a car from another in the group in a way that was affordable and with ease of mind knowing the history of the vehicle from someone they trusted. We've helped each other with child care. It's not quite as localized as your vision, but it has been a great way to build community.
Also, I've seen "free" groups on FB and sometimes people will also donate their time to help with tasks. It feels a bit odd to accept help from a FB stranger, whereas the Discord group meets in person occasionally so we have more of a sense of community from sharing physical space.
Mastodon is at least good structurally for this purpose, but it's unlikely to be adopted and has a high barrier to entry.
Discord is feature rich, can be private and somewhat easily modified, and so far is the least enshittified social media I've used. It's user friendly, free of most algorithmic shenanigans, and does not share much personal info compared to other apps. It's also great for hangouts, discussion, and other social activities.
As far as existing mutual aid structures, I'm fortunate to live in an area where the SRA is active, well vetted, and knowledgeable. There's always a path to find or start one locally too.
EDIT: I forgot to mention, discord was the best radicalization tool for me in 2019/2020. I followed a lot of leftist streamers in that time with very good moderation and supportive members. (This always depends on the admins, however, and is labor in itself.)
As a black Texan, thank you for this🙏👍👍⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
thank you for this video. seeing people respond to all these events with "just move" has been so infuriating. it's victim-blaming, and i wish more people would see the harm that helps perpetuate.
Did they watch the video? Did they actually watch it and then decided to do this on purpose to upset people? Like a child looking for attention in a silent cry for help?
I mean you don't have to buy a big house in the suburbs to flee a red state
It also just further entrenches the problem so you can't escape. Due to how our federal government works, if the fascists control most of the states but very little of the population, eventually they control the federal government and can override any blue state protections.
+
@@jeffersonclippership2588check your privilege
As a trans woman who got out of Kentucky during the pandemic-I would've been boned without the good fortune of getting the stimulus checks. I can't imagine how I'd accomplish it now that the economy has returned to 'normal.'
That's *despite* leaving all my possessions with family and only brining one suitcase worth of things with me. Just the cost of plane tickets, housing, and food for the first few weeks is prohibitive for most single millennials/Gen Z'ers. Let alone actually trying to bring an entire family and their belongings.
Most folks can't even come up with $2000 in an emergency, let alone 30 or 40 or 50k or more.
Stoked to return for ideas in the comments. As a nearly-40, also-very-tired leftist, I, too, wonder what smaller projects we can get going in our communities that are scalable and sustainable.
It's amazing to see just how emotionally knackered those of use who've lived through these last 40, 50 years of neoliberal peak are.
Please, anybody that wishes to start a business, make it a co-op.
This can look like starting on your own until you have enough profit to hire, preferably with almost equal pay, one or two other people. This can also look like having enough money (don't like the word capital here) to hire a few people outright.
Co-ops are resistant to economic shock, so that's an advantage. They often grow slower, and hiring and firing can be tricky, but there aren't enough of them to figure out how to work around this.
You don't even have to be the CFO or anything. You can just watch over things etc, make sure the paperwork is tight and take some profit. Making it contagious makes it better. You can design, and someone else can work the hiring/firing/financials.
Please *don't* start a non-profit. They're often kneecapped in the States, but, if you insist, you can still make it a co-op. Having a benevolent business is a great way to set up the necessary scaffolding to really help people in all sorts of ways.
Much love. 🙂 And, not saying *you* should start a business per se, but, as you're getting older, it may not be the worst idea in the world, though, the 'very tired' thing might put a wrench in all that. xD
I think this is basically how society used to function. Anybody who needed something done knew a guy who knew a guy, and we organized through word of mouth. I'm not sure there's just one reason we stopped that can be easily fixed. Communities have gotten more fragmented, we communicate less, people are too busy doing a job that barely provides for them to worry about other people, some problems require more expertise than is reasonable to lend in this economy, and people have just gotten used to paying a stranger to do things for them. This seems like another symptom of capitalism to me.
I'd like to add to this wonderful comment that neighborhoods re not built with a place to connect anymore and haven't been since levet towns
@@chloesibilla8199...never tried going to church then? The sermons typically only last an hour, and then people stay around for a few more to mingle. But nah, you guys just assume we're crazy and that everything everyone has ever done is pointless.
you're crazy. theres non religious people too, church shouldn't be the only place to socialize. also, this might shock you.... theres also other religions! like thousands of them!
@@gabrielclark1425 not everyone wants to goto church? Have you thought of that? Or do non-religious people not deserve community places as well?
"Christian country" argument incoming. Very first sentence of the first amendment should help clear things up for you.
As a trans Texan, thank you. I'd be on my way out now if I didn't have family to take care of.
Stay strong & stay safe! The Rainbow Railroad is an org that's trying to help people just like you right now. They usually help people in countries you think of first when you think of the criminalization of Queer Communities. They're like the Underground Railroad for Queer people. Unfortunately, they've had to pivot a lot of resources to the US lately as things continue to get really bad for folks in red states. Maybe look them up & reach out to see if they can help you.
I'm sorry this is happening. I know it isn't enough but if it helps, there are a lot of us out here who see these laws meant to harm you & we're outraged. We are on your side & we have your back, or at least we want to, but don't know hie to tangibly help. I just want you to know that I know a lot of people who wouldn't go to a protest or join an org, but who are firmly on your side. The loudest aren't actually the most. There are more people like my dad who isn't politically active but supports Trans rights as a personal value than there are like Matt Walsh.
It's the same issue as this video though. How do wer break through people's burnout to activate them to fight for any cause or community? Anyway, I thought maybe it might help to hear that more people than you know are with you. ❤ Keep being unapologetically you. We love & support you. Lots of love.
ACK
I live in Michigan and the state has made some serious policy changes for the better. An industry group in Michigan is promoting the state as a refuge for LGBTQ people, considering the legislature amended the state civil rights act to include that group, signed by the governor. Michigan and Minnesota need to exchange notes and share our homework with Wisconsin and Ohio.
I agree! Minnesota has done many (most?) of the same things. There's a reason deep blue states have better economies than deep red states.
I'm nearly a life-long Ohio resident and committed to sticking it out here and improving what I can... but I read this and had an immediate recoil. We aren't even close to becoming a refuge. Maybe for abortion rights if we pass the constitutional amendment? Not for queer folks, let alone queer kids though.
I moved to Michigan to escape bevin Kentucky, as much as I miss my family and friends I love what the government has been doing here to actually improve and grow.
@@mxpants4884 as someone born in Michigan and currently living in Ohio, there is such a difference between the two states. I don't feel nearly as safe here as I did in MI. I truly hope Ohio heads in the right direction.
Wisconsin Legislators are busy trying to get rid of elected officials that don't agree with them. Bring your hip waders.
I bring this up constantly with peeps, like.......the last time I tried to leave where I live, I drove seven hours with all my things in my car to room with my best friend. I own next to nothing, and it still cost me more than I could afford on my own. It didn't work out, and now where could I possibly go? Come hell or high water, this is where I am and am likely to stay barring a situation arising where I could plausibly claim asylum in Canada or something.
Some of us are working to keep our doors open. Some of our universities work with Rainbow Railroads to help integrate refugees.
I'm sorry to hear that. Based on your experience, how much do you think it would cost to evacuate?
@@Korzacks2nd Assuming I could just toss a bag in my car and leave, and not thinking about questions like passport, or a place to live or anything but getting there, it would at least be a few hundred dollars, but that would be cutting it down to just gas and food for the trip. If I wanted to not like.......live in my car or a refugee camp? Fuck if I know.
Fortunately I live someplace that is more than likely, in my mind, to be spared any particular circumstance where it would be necessary as opposed to just preferable for me specifically.
Thanks. Idk about hauling all the stuff, or just driving here, but maybe the costs could be cut down a little bit via a bus ticket, but yeah the more expensive part would be housing and necessities once you got here.@@BlindErephon
Honestly I think free food is a big way forward. It is a huge cooking time saver for all the guests without being an excessive labour burden on the cooks. Makes going to meetings easier when you aren't worrying about the housework you are delaying while attending to them.
This is one thing churches know very well: you gotta feed the people to build community.
@@ThatDangDad yes agree!
And so many great meals are entirely affordable in bulk
The problem is distribution, because polies come down hard on free food distribution!!
Excellent point, most people can only realistically engage in the movement when they are not giving up their daily duties to do so, and not going energy bankrupt doing it all, that is amazing!!!
🖤💜💙💚💙🌹🖤
Much Love!!
somewhat related: I really love Free Pantries/Community Fridges. The admin and maintenance sometimes takes a toll, on people, though.
@@ThatDangDadthat's how my church snagged me! Gave me food and respect, proved their progressive values and now I'm part of the community there
Long term idea that worked here: small neighborhood/block party just to get to know people and what they do. It’s easier to ask for help from a person in a friendly mindset than it is to ask for help from someone in a business mindset. To me this exists in the “third spaces” type idea.
This is definitely part of it, I think. My last neighborhood was *awesome* to the point where I was suspicious at first as to why my direct neighbor was so nice. But they had developed a community together and invited my family into it. Part of it was block parties, part of it was going through covid and a bad winter emergency together, part of it was there were a lot of kids around the same age who played with each other.
This is a phenomenal video that leads into a lot of great topics to explore - some of the major reasons for a loss of community support comes down to how atomized our economic system has left the average person, and how lacking in mutually-beneficial voluntary socialization we all experience as adults trying to make ends meet.
We lack third places to spend time together without the expectation of spending money to build these connections that lead to the sort of 'you help me, I help you' organic networking you're talking about.
When news networks and social media push stories about violent crime, violence between supposed neighbors, and community unrest, it leaves us untrusting and struggling to network with one another - We all have seen stories where someone knocks on a neighbor's door for help, and said neighbor ends up pulling a gun on them.
Car culture atomizes and isolates us by making it difficult to get anywhere with any amount of people without specifically-driving there, and the overemphasis on car infrastructure over everything else makes it difficult to casually go somewhere to meet people and network when everyone has to get in the car, get out on the highway, drive X minutes, find parking, etc.
We are encouraged to buy everything we could ever possibly need rather than borrow from others, because everyone buying something they use once is more profitable to corporations than a broader group sharing one thing - imagine how many lawn mowers just sit in garages all day for the majority of the year, only to be whipped out for an hour or two every two weeks by the owner, and how insanely-inefficient that idea is.
Definitely a great watch, and plenty of room to have follow-up videos and further research/topics. Keep it up, Dad. ♥
So so true, everything you mentioned!!
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love!!
Nah, I don’t hate you. I’m glad you’re in a financially stable situation - at least some of us should be!
I’m in California trying to live off disability payments. I’ve had people suggest that I move to a cheaper state, and I’m like “Right. Pay money to move a thousand miles away to a state that doesn’t want me, where I know no one, and I have less options for extra care? No thanks.”
It would be nice if there was more community. If Nextdoor wasn’t such a horrid mess of people saying they want to sh**t anyone who steps foot on their driveway, it would be great.
I struggle with this. As someone who works in IT I could donate my time to help people with their computer troubles so they don't have to go to an expensive computer repair shop to fix a simple problem.
The problem is that anyone who is "good at computers" knows how that ends up. Everything that goes wrong with the computer after you touch it is your fault, and though you aren't being paid you are somehow expected to work like you're being paid thousands an hour while often being treated worse than you ever would be by a normal user at your day job.
This is so bad that many "good with computers" guys pretend that they aren't, even to their own families.
I imagine that many people start out friendly and willing to help and get burned so many times that they end up only working for pay. I can't say I blame them. Who would want to spend their free time being a human punching bag?
As a person who has a 'big car' in a country where that isn't the norm I have been contacted by so many people because they knew I had one and just got dropped when I needed something in the future. Too many people take advantage and not responsibility which is a shame. Doesn't mean I don't show up with my 'big car' whenever people I'm truly close with need it tho, it just means that whenever I draw a line and state that boundary people become really resentful, entitled and angry which is exhausting to deal with sometimes.
You could do more than that. If all you tech people got together today and demanded x problem be solved, it would be solved tomorrow. It's a shame most of you are selfish, bigoted tech bros.
Thanks for this video. I'm a leftist in Florida trying to help out my family and my neighbors, and I'm absolutely sick that the sentence "I live in Florida" is treated like both setup and punchline by so many other leftists outside of the state. I'm sick of being called part of the problem by the fact that I'm completely unable to move (unless one of those jackasses decides to give my family the $500,000 it'd take to move anywhere given current housing prices) and am trying to make the state I was born in better.
It always surprises me how judgemental and closed-minded leftists on the internet can be. I say this as a leftist myself
Some people are just obsessed with moralizing everything in bad faith. They need to be antagonized so, ironically, they can justify being bullies. This isn't an expressly liberal or leftist or right-wing phenomenon. It's just political internet culture. They frame you as the antagonist, even someone who may share many of their own convictions, for what? Living in a place where you have roots? There's no logic behind it. I see value in leftists staying in areas that are going increasingly right-fascist. We have the opportunity to try to act as a stabilizing force, to hold ourselves to a high standard, and push back against the forces driving housing instability, homelessness, incarceration, gay and trans hate, racism, and so on. I also see real value in moving for those who are seeing a pattern of increasingly fascist tendencies intensify and worry about themselves and their families. These are personal decisions mediated by people's means and circumstances. Those people hating on you are bad faith leftists who need to feel important or something
@@s.teamspark3858 Yup, this whole "why don't you left that State" is in the same vein as american right winger complain about us, European, mocking them for their gun fetishism and their poor understanding of basic leftist ideas.
"Why do you care, it isn't your country" is often something they say when they understand we are foreigner. They fail to understand how everything is interconnected theses day. They also fail to understand basic empathy. Red States shouldn't be the shit show they are and the sad part is that the game is kinda rigged over there.
Well said!
You're touching on a really big thing here. If everyone that could leave did, then who is left to support the people who can't leave? If everyone leaves that doesn't fix the problem, it would probably make it worse.
I'm not shaming people that do leave. But we also need people to stay and do the work.
I find it fascinating that people don't understand how cities crumble when those with the means can move to the suburbs, leaving only those without the means, in the 'city'. Detroit comes to mind.
"We'll just tax the people who are leaving more." -Average Educated Government Worker
Why fix the problems when you can just run away from them and price out the people who need the most help.
@@The2012Aceman Average government workers don't decide who to tax and how much.
@@The2012Aceman correct, suburbs should be abolished
Its only natural that the monster of mass manufacturing swallows its own tail. Ppl say "if we dont pay taxes, who will build the roads?" and I say "Thats a good reason to not pay taxes." We the Pedestrians must reclaim the streets.
Cruelty is the point of conservative policy
I love how you detailed what it took to move and that it is not an option that most (or many) have. It’s surprising how many do not understand that fact.
I’m a single mom that has been stuck in a cycle of poverty and lack for years. My children and I have found ourselves chronically homeless (and I don’t mean couch surfing homeless. I mean looking for the safest dumpster to sleep behind homeless because finding emergency shelters where we could stay is it’s own challenge. There’s never enough beds.). We live in one of the most expensive metropolises in the nation, and if I ever had the opportunity and means to move somewhere less expensive, I’d jump on that opportunity. It’s never been an option though. So much has to line up to make something like that happen, and it’s wild how so many think families like mine can just decide to up and leave their current location and flee to a less expensive locale. It requires some degree of privilege and/or luck for anyone to be detached enough from the world around them to hold the belief that moving like that is an option available to everyone, and those who do not make that move are either too dumb or selfish to just get it done.
In an effort to avoid another eviction (for inability to pay rent; not for bad behavior) I created a gofundme beginning of September. It’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. A RUclipsr that lives near me asked if he could do a video on my family and I and he put the gofundme link in the video description. The video was released about 2 weeks ago and has already surpassed 200K views. Not only have a handful of people been donating and helping financially, but I’ve also had 2 mechanics volunteer their time (and even offered to pay for parts) to keep my 12 year old car with 180K miles on it going. I’ve had wonderful, encouraging messages come in from people also and I can sincerely say that I’ve felt and benefited from those prayers/vibes/well-wishes directed my way too. It has done much good to know that there are people who simply care and want my daughters and I to have our basic needs met and be successful.
Honestly, I think I’ve received almost an equal amount of negative comments as i have positive. Thankfully though I’ve been able to remain focused on the love and let it overpower the hate. People who don’t know me have been making a bunch of false assumptions and using them to justify their disgust with me and others like me. BUT… it is so awesome to see how many (with no obligation to care about my kids and I) show up to say “we love y’all and want to see you thrive”… that’s been incredibly touching and powerful.
I have been astounded though how many have been annoyed by my story to the point that they have taken the time to google search me and find my personal contact info; which they then have been using to fling hate and disgust my way. They have zero ability to relate and they have been sold on the idea that homeless are all drug addicted, mentally incompetent, and/or too lazy to take care of themselves. Not only this, but they themselves are secure enough in their lives to have the time to put this much effort into digging for my contact info just so they can tear me down and tell me how I am a great example of everything wrong in America. I’ve had so many telling me how dumb I am for staying in a place so expensive that I cannot afford (they assume I’ve had better options) and the other quick assumptions they’ve made about my children and I are so far from the truth it’s just jaw dropping. It’s stunning to me how so many people right around me live in realities so opposite my own, that they can hold such beliefs and delusions about the realities of living in this country and opportunities available to all here. It’s like they think liberty and justice are for all, and they have no clue it’s reserved for the privileged and those with the $ to purchase them. They also seem to have this idea in their heads that consistent hard work and discipline is all one needs to give in order to take care of basic needs and prosper. If only!!! These beliefs are as ridiculous as believing Santa comes thru every xmas to reward all well behaved children.
I don’t want to overemphasize the negative here… while I have had a lotta mud slung my way, I have been blessed with much love and support that is giving me so much hope. It’s comforting to know that a lot of people get it and want to make changes which will turn this world into a healthier place for our children and the planet as a whole. It’s worthwhile though to be aware that a fat portion of the population is drowning in a sea of misinformation, and there’s so much work to be done otherwise they have the potential to sink us all.
I love the question you’ve proposed here though! What a great one to brainstorm!!! I wish I had good ideas to offer up. I don’t. But just wanted to throw some support behind the idea that we should be working on this! Some network where those in need are connected with those with the ability to help. I was raised in a cult that would still argue that is exactly who and what they are, with the added perk of being gods one and only true church on the face of the earth. Many of the members legit believe the church is this perfect network. 🙄 and it’s not possible to roll my eyes hard enough at this notion lol.
What sucks is social media like Nextdoor in theory should be a decent tool for things like this but the reality... Well, i have seen you post about nextdoor before lmao
While the introvert part of me is absolutely terrified of the the idea talking to strangers near me, I will admit that when I used to rent, in a different city, walking around my area (in the limited introvert way I could), I couldn't help but notice that a bunch of people were moving in and out of the apartment complex. If I had time, or it wasn't a weekday, I tried to just stop by and ask if they needed help. Most of the time, I was told that they were fine, and I moved on.
Occasionally they said yes, and I spent the next hourish helping someone. I don't know if I ever talked to those people again, but I do know that it didn't harm me to ask. I'm not saying that it was a good idea in retrospect (though I never felt unsafe), but perhaps the observation aspect could be of use? To observe what is happening around you and ask yourself "how can I help my community with it's community specific issues?"
And perhaps for the aspect of organizing in some manner, could there be some sort of way a verification could happen, and then you get a pin or a card that could signal to people that you aren't a creeper or believe problematic things? I dunno, but with all of the union stuff going on, wouldn't this, in a way, be similar in membership?
That's very interesting and true. My feeling is that there's people (literally) dying for a feeling of connection and maybe some scheme that aggregated those requiring specified types of help, perhaps pdf'ed local requirements of people who had somehow been vetted, then was posted regularly (including on physical noticeboards)... Mutual aid societies probably have the expertise...
This is something I'd like to be a part of, myself. Despite currently being in recovery for top surgery, and me not being the most adept at socializing with people in the first place. I've seen in my apartment building, a fellow tenant and Queer friend of mine, put out masks, and temporary libraries, and extra food. I feel like, there are many ways to start something, that puts community mentality at the forefront, and it doesn't have to be something major. If it means, just getting your friends together and their friends, and opening up that communication whether on discord, or facebook, or whatever, it can work out. Now, even though I know a number of folks, and have "friends", I don't always feel like that connection is there to ask. Part of the hardest hurdle might be in finding folks willing to ask for help. So in short, it depends on what your context is, what you have to offer, but I imagine that tech savy folks might have more ideas of ways in keeping online spaces well moderated, to weed out bad faith actors when they pop up....cause, there are gonna be those sort anywhere you accumulate large groups of people.
My partner and I (both trans) are fleeing Georgia and going to Washington. We started planning more than a year ago and literally had to fund it through gofundme. If it weren’t for the kindness of others, we would not be able to escape. We’re terrified of the upcoming election, so we are leaving everything behind other than 300 cubic feet of belongings and our cats. It’s heartbreaking and we will be starting essentially from scratch, but at least we will be in an area where the government isn’t likely to cut off our healthcare or turn a blind eye to violence.
as a trans Washingtonian, we're happy to have you here!! I know so many trans people who've moved here from other states and now never want to leave the state 💖
@rainbowraver666 Utah here I gotta get back to the pnw lol
I've been kicking around an idea like this for a while, and there's three key components. The easiest one is mapping needs to people willing to help. Sign up with your assets you're willing to donate, skills, tools, etc. and "able body" is an asset that not everyone has. Then, when you enter your needs, the people with those assets can be paired to you. However, this isn't a problem I can program my way out of...
The much harder problem is community safety. This goes from preventing bigotry and harm from being perpetuated by the platform, to building it in such a way that aid doesn't only go to people who look like the people giving it.
The even harder problem is adoption from regular people. Your neighbor electrician might be willing to come out and check your outlets for a beer, but that can't happen in neighborhoods where electricians don't live. This compounds with the above problem, meaning this kind of mutual aid requires *radical trust* from people to buy in. I think grassroots community groups like tool libraries and block parties are necessary to build the solidarity required for this sort of mutual aid network to spread further.
I live in Vancouver, a notoriously cold and unfriendly city. But, as a kid I lived in a social housing complex in one of the surrounding suburban areas. The kids all played togetger, neighbors knew each other. Everybody helped each other out. Not to say there weren't fights and grudges and the usual stuff you get with groups of people, but that area is the only place I've personally lived in the vancouver area that really had that. One of the things that I genuinely believe did like 70% of the heavy lifting in regards to maintaining the networked social cohesion we had, was monthly potluck dinners in the small community hall we had in the complex.
Sharing food is one of the most simple and genuine expressions of love, and love destroys borders.
Welcome to Minneota, we're happy to have ya! As someone from MN it's so bittersweet to hear about people coming to my state because it feels like a safer place to be, I'm glad we aren't facing the backwards slide into fascism that our neighbors are, but also it hurts so bad that people have to literally flee from their homes to escape danger. I hope you are able to find community in Minneapolis and help your neighbors. Honestly a great city to be in. It's pretty common to have things like block parties, invite people over for fires/grill nights, and to sit on your front yard and drink with the neighbors. Just getting outside and walking you dog or going for bike rides is a great way to have a presence in you area and to get to know other people. Don't be nervous to have a housewarming party or a yard sale or something to get you outside. Anything to get your foot in the door and to start making connections.
I think one thing we can all do is actively resist our knee-jerk individualist, which tells us asking for help would be a burden to others and make us look weak. Most people are very happy to be asked to help someone in need; it feels good for the helper and builds the bond between you. Personally, I feel honored when someone asks me for help because I know how difficult it can be to overcome that barrier of toxic individualism.
I'm a married gay man in south Louisiana. Just this past weekend, my state lost the last Democratic governor in the deep south and voted in a Trump acolyte known for targeting my community. Even before this, with the change in SCOTUS, my husband and I have actively talked about leaving, but keep hitting three barriers: 1) Where to?, 2) With what money?, and 3) Can I restart my career elsewhere? It's actually hard for queer people like myself who are used to low cost of living & wages facing the prospects of moving to safer but more expensive states. Hopefully things won't get that dire but I'm right here with TDD - if anybody can come up with meaningful solutions by all means let it be known.
This is a great and important video people can use as reference to folks who tell people that if they dont like somewhere, to leave. I'm glad you are willing to speak openly about money and your own privilege of having access to it and other necessities. I really hate how corporate culture convinced folks that discussing money is unprofessional or rude or whatever, its just another means of control. We should all be talking openly about this kind of bullshit, and its the kind of thing that may actually drag a few folks more leftwards when they hear the struggles of their friends and coworkers. My partner and I have basically tripped our asses upwards into having stable housing, 2 vehicles, and a network to support us should things go bad, simply due to wealthy family and sheer luck. I ALWAYS point out thay we had zero merit to earn or deserve it, which seems to make people uncomfortable. Its confusing to folks when I tell them I did absolutely nothing to deserve what we have (and in fact with my past as an addict who hurt lots of people in the process probably should have landed in jail), and still somehow have a home that we only have to pay property taxes on. It really helps tear down the idea of meritocracy when I basically admit to people I'm a "bad" person who still won.
Yeah, i was vacillating back and forth between talking openly about numbers, housing value, retirement accounts etc versus feeling like it was bragging or being annoying, but you're right, it's a corporate mindset that tells us to hide our salaries and shy away from talking money because keeping things hidden covers over a multitude of sins
@@ThatDangDad It's appreciated and important. If people see how this is even difficult for people with 4 cars and 6k in savings, maybe they'll have some understanding for how it is for people living paycheck to paycheck.
As another software guy my first instinct was also an app but I don’t think going further down the detached digital path is good.
I think the solution is in a way “have more friends” and what I mean by that is public social events that might start by having some sort of announcements and facilitated sign up for people in need of help. The sign up list helps with public accountability and if people aren’t comfortable letting just anyone help they can directly ask the person they met through these social events.
I think it’s important to make this community building not just a help network. Make people care about each other before you ask them to volunteer.
Yeah. See vids on 'third places'. I think digital and physical will go hand in hand. I'm not a big fan of Zuck but a vid with him and is it Alexi something the other week showed that we soon will be able to converse quite naturally with people in other countries.
I don't know if this is THE answer or even part of the answer, but my husband does a lot of stuff himself. He reads a lot of different books and watches a lot of different videos to learn how to do things. The best example is when we lived in Florida, we wanted solar for the house. Running the ac practically year round was extremely expensive, and solar was a good option. So we got quotes but they were all close to 100 thousand dollars, so he read tons, watched a lot of videos and with the guidance of his BIL, he brought the panels and installed them himself. When the inspector came by, he said his work was flawless. My husband works in IT, not an electrician. He always says he can do things people pay for a thousand times better, and he really does. Maybe some of us could learn how to do some of the pay people things and share that knowledge with others. Maybe that is part of the solution.
Yeah I learned how to replace my headlights and taillights from a RUclips video. I also learned how to fix part of my furnace at one point. If you have the time and patience, you can learn a LOT
Just wanted to say howdy to my new neighbor in advance. My girlfriend and I are both trans and we're in the process of fleeing Missouri for Minnesota. I'm disabled, we're in a ton of debt, and holy hell it's gonna be rough. Wish us luck
Good luck, I hope your path is as smooth as possible
My partner and I are both trans and fleeing Georgia. They’re disabled, we’re low income. It’s so much stress. I really wish the best for you and yours in your journey. Solidarity.
I fell off a scaffold 3-months ago and, even though it was an obvious work-related injury, I couldn’t get Workman’s Comp because I was on a W-9. The one thing that was a huge up-side was that I fell in Oregon and I went to OHSU. 3-months later and I’m walking again. Meanwhile, I met a guy with the exact same x-rays I have but he fell in Texas instead. We both got financially ruined by our injuries but Oregon Health Plan mitigated a lot of that for me and I recovered three times faster.
Thank you for talking about how hard moving from a red state is. You're the first person I've heard give voice to how hard it is. My trans and queer family fled Kentucky this summer. We were way out in the middle of nowhere and while my old neighbors partied that we left, no one would have helped us leave. We didn't have the money, but it just felt too dangerous to stay. We started job hunting in March (took the first full time offer in Illinois) sold everything and left in May. We were homeless until basically July. The house we found hadn't been cleaned in decade. But the down payment was 100% of our profit off out KY house. So now our mortgage is the same as the original mortgage we got 12 years ago but with a higher interest rate and on a worse house. My car was totaled at a red light as soon as we moved in, so now we're down to one car and one income because my trans autistic self hasn't found where willing to hire me around car sharing hours. It felt too dangerous to stay but coming has been so traumatic I worry it was a mistake. And I have no idea how to find help (or help that not months of wait list long) I feel so cut off and isolated and hopeless and most of the people I've meet laugh when I I say we fled genicide
Some cities have tool lending libraries. I wonder if there could be a directory set up alongside a tool lending library as like a skill lending library
I've had similar thoughts. I find this a product of Americans' Rugged Individuality. Fueled by fear of the outside and crime.
Individualism*
I am part of a smallish online community that has sprung from an MMORPG we were all playing just to socialize. I'm not playing anymore due to lack of time and energy but still member of the discord group. Because friends. We have started a second group for exactly the things you are talking about. With some more lucky ones of us throwing some money together, we managednto get someone a brand new PC for gaming and art making, two trans people were able to move out of Florida with our help, one got a new phone when they needed one.... It's not much. But these are people close to my heart so I am happy to be able to help.
An interesting thing that came to mind is the loss of 3rd places and public spaces which would have served as a central hub where you could atleas know and approach those around you kinda serving as a repository/directory of ppl and skills that were local to you
I love this philosophy. Also I imagine it's a self-reinforcing thing, as once neighbours did things for one another, it'd bring them closer together.
Third places would contribute greatly to solving this kind of issue. If people had places they could hang out and socialize with their local communities, then our communities would be more connected. We all live so far from each other today that socializing becomes an event in itself rather than the default. If people had easier access to a "Third Place" you could just go down to your local hangout and say "I've got a 12-pack of beer and a big pile o' sticks in my yard I want gotten rid of" and you'd probably be able to find someone who lives nearby, likes beer, and is more than willing to throw sticks around for a few minutes. The people at your local "third place" would typically be people you know or are at least passingly familiar with if you ever spent any time there.
IT'S TOO FAR: The problem being that our cities, and by extension our entire society, is designed directly against this concept. "Local" places aren't so local any more. You often can't, or just really wouldn't want to walk to these places either because it's too far or because its not safe or enjoyable. Guess you'll have to drive there but since everyone has to drive, every place has to have parking. So everything is spread out between parking lots, so much so that even in the same plaza people will exit one store, get in their car, and drive 100 yards to park at the next store. If people could walk or take public transit, we could haveless parking and these things would be closer together. CLOSER TO THE PEOPLE USING THEM.
IT'S NEVER FREE: Most of the time you're expected to pay for some kind of service if you want to be there as well. You can't go to a diner and just hang out, you have to pay for a meal. Want to go to a club? Pay a cover charge plus a two drink minimum. Want to go to a casino? Better play something or be told to leave. People used to have malls to hang out in but anti-loitering laws have done away with that as well. The last thing we sort of have is parks, but those just simply aren't enough.
Nobody knows anybody any more because we all live on our own little island.
yup, totally agree
I volunteer for a fire department and it kind of functions that way. I know someone who could do something and they know they know me, who can build tables and other stuff. After reading David graebers “debt: the first 5000 years” i believe that the sole purpose of capitalism is to replace the social credit system we were incubated and evolved to encompass. Money is a means of exchange for goods add services, and this is key, between strangers. When humans do this it necessarily decouples us from that interdependent social exchange of mutual indebtedness all humans have to each other as a fact of our survival. Thus, the people who thrive in such a system necessarily are forced to act in a manner that would be considered sociopathic.
The antidote is to meet in community to start to develop networks that support humans you know reciprocally and to use that network in such a manner whenever it can be used instead of engaging with the larger capitalist economy.
I just started Debt!
Libraries! This is a lot of what my job is! Connecting humans with resources!
Librarians are heros
One thing I've been wanting to try is a community barn/shed full of tools like shovels or a push mower . The kinds of stuff you keep two of in your shed and didn't remember you had two of so you whent out and bought a third one. Imagine, instead of everyone individually having to buy one of all of these tools we just have one. It would be great for people who just moved in and haven't accumulated a collection of their own or people who just need this one thing for a project and don't have one . With all the money your not spending buying a whole shed of tools over the course of a decade you could buy a really cool lathe! And now everyone has a lethe for that thing they wanted to build but diy-ing it would require 1000$ of dollars of tools that you don't have! Seriously it's like every diy tutorial is like "this is so easy anyone can do it" *pulls out very specific specialized tool that Costa like 60$* ! I just need access to a CNC machine and capitalism is cooked and so are all those anti homeless spikes because I'm making a platform that will sit on top of them that folds up into a breafcase so a homeless guy can pick it up and take it with him!
Basically libraries but... for other things.
.clothes
.kitchen supplies
.gadgets
.tools
.uuuuh...... furniture!
Things that:
.can be reused (not food, or underwear or notebooks but all those might be cool too just for a different thing)
. otherwise would be sitting collecting dust , not living up to it's value potential and taking up space in someones house (see: crockpot you only use once a year or the juicer you haven't touched since your juicing phase)
.is durable and can be used by multiple people and still be valuable
.low maintenance, can just sit on a shelf in the meantime.
I think it would be neet , if someone wanted to move out and didn't want to bring their little red wheelbarrow full of towels and the rest of their shed with them. Hey look! A convenient place to dump trowels and pots and such! Suddenly the community just got a brand new push mower , like 20 trowels and several bags of dirt! Woo! Look at all these jars! I'm going to put moss in one of them!!
I think this would be a great idea, there could be a clipboard to record who used which tool when (like a library record) and it'd help with knowing how many of each tool is needed, how often something needs repaired or replaced, or if a tool goes missing who might know where it is (I couldn't fault anyone for forgetting or misplacing a tool since I do that all the time)
i underwent something similar moving my wife and i from PA to WA in 2022 for grad school. its expensive and if not for her being able to get a credit card with a 10k limit we would not have been able to leave, despite my acceptance into a fully funded Ph.D. program that also gave me a moving grant (not available until we started in the fall, ofc). ty for sharing your story to help everyone understand how we cannot abandon our fellow humans who live in red states 💛
I always wanted to leave this state and now with everything the way it is I feel even more trapped, I don't want to have to live within walking distance of where I was born my entire life, but there's rapidly becoming nowhere else to go.
Thanks so much for shining light on how much of a struggle this is to so many people
I live in Indiana and it sucks here too! Best of luck!
I only have so much personal experience with organizing, but i think an important lesson I've learned is that irl connections are essential: the internet is great for sharing information between people, but if you want to build a durable mutual aid network, you'll need face-to-face time. As someone i met who's spent many years in the movement once said "don't confuse comrades with friends and allies with good neighbors." Commitment comes after people really connect with each other, and that seems to require sharing physical space and time.
It always kills me when people criticize people in the hood for staying there or raising their kids there, like it's nothing to pick up and move across town, much less another town, and much, much less another state entirely. It's insanely difficult and expensive and the knowledge gap on how to even do it is massive between the burbs and the hood. The only way I was able to move to another state when I've done it is having people there already to stay with, at least till I can piece by piece put my own thing together. There's no reason for it to be this way beyond a bunch of people profiting on every little step.
There's a number of ways for people to go about this including something like a Freecycle for moving, making it known that it's something your org does, etc, but no, there is no existing thing like this that I know of but there absolutely should be. So it's something we'd probably have to do from the ground up.
Two things that pop into my head are those little free libraries folks are putting up in front of their houses, and that back in the day, folks would put all sorts of notices on a cork board in the front of the local supermarket. Teens up for yard work or babysitting, shadetree mechanics, block parties, local businesses, lost pets, etc. If there were a way to combine those two ideas it might serve the need. Not sure how to monitor or vet postings, this is just a loose concept so far.
This is the start to a great idea
You can look at this guys eyes and immediately spot the crazy. He's got that Heaven's Gate look.
It's inspiring to me that anyone is making videos like this on this platform, anyone who was once on hard times knows that answers to these questions can critically reduce harm under such an exploitative system. Thank you so much for your content.
Thanks for this video. It really helped me articulate a lot of what I feel about being a U.S. expatriate. My spouse and I moved from Minnesota to British Columbia, Canada for very much the same reasons you wanted to move your family out of Kentucky. I am almost always trying to unburden myself from the guilt I feel because as a woman of colour married to a "soft-sad white boi", I feel that I have some unearned privileges as well. I'll be sure to check out the suggestions from the people in this YT comments section. Thanks for being you.
I have helped quite a few people in my state move just by making sure they know I want to help them. When you make friends, make sure the first thing you do is offer to help clean up after you hang out, then escalate from there. If you don't hang out at home offer to help clean out the car you carpooled in, clean up the street as you go, arrange the plates for your server at a restaurant to make it easier on them, establish yourself as Mr. Clean in disguise, then, whenever they're thinking about chores, they think of you and how helpful it would be to have you there.
Obviously, give within your means, and that includes you physical capabilities, and your time, but it's a rare person that can't at least help load the dishwasher.
Also, make the town you live in a part of your online presence. Friends online won't ask for help with this stuff if you aren't local. Don't post your address, but take pride in where you live, and people may think of getting together with you IRL more readily if they know you're nearby.
Great post. There was a quote I heard somewhere, can't remember where, that was "Everyone wants Revolution but no one wants to do the dishes." Cooking and cleaning are such core parts to building community
We need to create new town centers. Libraries would be great for things like this. Combining a local bulletin-board (for those without a cellphone) with an app with a Library of Things would be a massive first step. Tbh there are probably loads of community meetings that people just can't find due to no centralized place for people to find each other. The easier it is for people to meet others in general is the best way for people to help each other. Encourage Third Places. Got a gaming group? Spend a day playing DnD (base rules are free online) at a local library. This weekend, if possible and feasible, go to a local library and just see what's there. Ask a librarian if there's an event board. People need to understand* each other before they can help each other imo. EDIT: For generalized mutual aid I mean.*
Welcome to Minneapolis! I wish I had more to say to answer your thoughtful questions. It is somehow a relief just to hear someone asking, and to see others engaging with the topic.
I see old-fashioned flyers (lost pets, tax prep services, house cleaning, dog walking..) stapled to posts all over my SW neighborhood. That's pretty common and would not be a bad way to reach people who might be less connected or in the know about online spaces trying to organize mutual aid networks.
A couple times a year there are "yard sale weekends" where entire neighborhoods put up garage or yard sales on the same weekend. It's wild. Those would be good opportunities to offer/ask for help, a very non-threatening and informal situation where people are already expecting (and more likely to engage with) some casual interactions with complete strangers.
It kind of feels like one of those things that happens bit by bit when you aren't looking straight at it, and all of a sudden there you are, in the middle of it. I really hope we can figure something out. 🖤
Even apart from moving being financially costly, no matter how much money and support someone has moving away from a state with bad laws, there is always the emotional cost of leaving what you know. I shouldn't have to leave behind the things I love about my home state/city just so the government is less of a threat to me and my friends and family.
Thank you for talking so openly about this. The intense costs (money, time, energy, etc.) something that a lot of folks aren't aware of or don't think about. Especially when it comes to considering folks with disabilities. We usually can't just uproot. And being told to "just move to another country" is legitimately impossible for folks with disabilities. I've moved states a few times while trying to outrun homelessness. Usually could only afford a greyhound bus ticket and a suitcase. The toll on my body only made my health worse. And usually I had to go without food and meds because Medicaid and SNAP don't transfer across state lines and we had to reapply and wait every single time I've moved.
found out my wife is w child, and i'm in a similar mindset. Nice to have the family nearby for the first few years but we'd rather be in a more politically safe state when the time for them to go to school comes.
Some barbecue sauce sounds like a good start.
Obligatory joke about how to handle the rich done, and getting serious, part of the challenge is that it's going to require holistic efforts, because if one area moves forward a bunch but others aren't then the forward motion will stall. As things are, organizing, meeting people, coordinating efforts through a larger network, and just generally being their for the neighbours when the ask, all are good things to work at, and plenty more, cause part of the problem is also a the information overload.
Every time I watch your content I always get some kind of good human value out of it. Subject was very thought provoking. I have been trying to survive by myself and honestly if I did have my parents help I would probably be homeless. Anyway, my main point is that I have been brunting everything myself, that might be noble in way but it is exhausting and discouraging for me specifically. Sorry if the comment is a bummer. Going to let the community help thing wash over me more. Cheers.
I have been thinking about this for so long. I would love an update video featuring some of the ideas! In the meantime, I set up a Facebook group for like minded locals in my area.
When we lived in metro Detroit, we had almost all the tradespeople in our network. We had grown up in the area, and had developed a network. It was the only way we could afford to work on our house that cost $129,000. Spending thousands on anything, on a house that cheap made no sense, plus we had no money. Knowing plumbers, electricians, and carpenters, plus learning to do it ourselves, and borrowing tools is the reason we renovated the entire place. Unfortunately, we sold in 2010 for a loss. The silver lining is we would have lost a fortune if we had paid market rate for everything.
We've moved several times, and have never had that network again. You need to stay put for a decent amount of time to get to know all those folks. Moving every five to ten years makes developing that kind of network difficult.
I saw a video once describing how important it is to be the second person to join in. The first dude dancing by their lonesome is just a weirdo until someone comes and makes it easier for everyone to join in.
I think to create the mutual aid communities we want, it's important to make friends and be either the first person who starts something or the second person to make it easier for all others to join in.
It's only a partial solution, but my local area has a "time bank" where people can exchange their time. Maybe the electrician volunteers a couple hours of time to one person, and then has a couple hours in the bank to hire, say, someone with a big truck to take stuff off their hands, or a babysitter who doesn't need money as much as they need hours to spend on internet tutoring, etc.
oh i love that
Sending you and your family love. Thanks for always being transparent with your praxis
Incredible video. Such a relatively simple story but so personal and relatable even to people who like you mentioned simply don’t have the same privileges as you or even myself. The theory is theory is important but complicated and what gets lost is exactly what you brought up in this video so thank you
Vietnam has neighborhood councils where someone is assigned to greet everyone and there's a group chat. I know EJ and Luna talked a bunch abt it during lockdown but it made me think a lot about how a neighborhood or apartment complex could help each other.
that's such a great idea
It kills me how just a few years ago, this is exactly what we did; show up for each other. Now, it's a totally alien concept to most people.
One of the best parts of the SRA is that it gave me a community of people I can trust and work with throughout my state and the neighboring states. A member from my chapter got stranded two states over in the middle of nowhere when the greyhound bus they were on broke down and needed a ride. Within two hours they had a ride to where they were going and didn’t have to worry about spending the night in a deep red town as a trans person. Another time someone lost their job out of nowhere and had suddenly had to move by the end of the week or be evicted. We got them moved out with two days to spare for the cost of a large pizza. When you have community you can accomplish a lot. I will say that your mileage may vary depending on how active the chapters in your area are, but in the Great Lakes region it’s been great for me
I put up a friend from Kentucky for the summer so he could get his feet under him in the northeast. It's definitely something I'd like to do again but the trouble is finding the right candidate and figuring out the most equitable arrangement for that kind of long term living situation.
I think we also need to add the cost of a plane ticket and other expenses related to fleeing the USA. I live in NJ and I’m already making preliminary plans to flee to Canada
Oh definitely. There's so many weird expenses, like even beyond plane tickets, stuff like fees for getting a new license, changing car registration, moving all your prescriptions out of state, fees on fees on fees everywhere you turn
Welcome to Minnesota!
And honestly,, to some degree my family here in Minnesota does some of the stuff you'd talked about. We have a tractor and last winter we had record snowfall, so we helped clear our people's driveways of snow. Or, like, I've done pet sitting for people in the area. If nothing else, talking with your neighbors is a good start.
Also, speaking of snowfall, make sure you get an idea of what to expect during the winter for your area if you haven't already. Be safe and find connection!
I love that you emphasized how we can show up for each others. I like Mia Birdsong's book How We Show Up that touches on some of these issues.
This is a really important video. Thanks for making.
So glad to hear your story. I recently relocated to WA on Cowlitz land from KY. I challenge your use of the word “lucky” and encourage you to openly recognize your privilege. I’m excited to go watch lots of your other videos now.
To me "lucky" contains within it that privilege. Through no action of my own, I was born in a place, in a body, to a family, that all allowed me to be who I am or more importantly, throw up extra obstacles to prevent me from being who i want to be. Privilege is a consequence of luck at the individual level and obviously a construction at the systemic level (which ought to be dismantled).
Me and my mom moved from Wyoming to Colorado earlier last year. Best move we made.
What you're asking for starts by increasing social contact between people in a locality, an idea I like is shared meals. If people can show up once a week and know that they don't need to worry about food or a baby sitter for a few hours, they're more likely to keep showing up and to have that social space become a 3rd place. From there it's a matter of starting conversations about life with an aim to get the people around you talking about their needs and what they can do for others, then translating that into action. The people around us know what they need and they understand their capacities to help others, we need to bring them together and bring that out. There's no leadership necessary for this.
To new chapters and new beginnings, my friend!
It's very nice to think that people will be generally willing to help out, but like another commenter said, not many people have the time anymore. Time and energy are everything these days, and they're often associated with money. Whether you're conservative, liberal, or leftist, everyone's typically busy all the time these days. Save for my burnout periods, I can't think of a single day in the past seven years where I wasn't working or working on something.
Right now, I have no hope of moving out of my current situation, at least not for a long time, and some days it just feels like total despair, that I'll never get away, and I have to lay down, put on something I feel like listening to and try to stabilize my equilibrium and ease my thoughts.
I've been interested in leaving my state ever since I was in high school, and I'm still here. Parts of my state are ultra-conservative and others are more progressive, but I don't know how progressive. The capital city is a mix of both, and I still wish I never had to leave my childhood home there over a year ago - I've been having a lot of dreams about my old home lately, pretty much nightly. I currently live in one of the most conservative towns with my mom, but it is steadily getting a little progressive because more and more people from out of state seem to be moving here. For what reason, I have no idea, there's no affordable housing here (I'm lucky the house my mom inherited is paid off) and it's mostly pro-trump hogs, honkys and boomers. If the town ever gets taken over by "the soy commies", that'll be a silver lining.
I can't see myself leaving my state anytime soon, and there are still things I love about it, so if I can ever make enough money with my content, I want to move to my favorite, more progressive, small university city up north (where they still get cold weather at the right times of year), continue to make a ton more content and start actually living my own life again.
The Borat's Wife joke is so dumb but so great, I love it.
there is no fruit that hangs too low for me ;)
Arkansan here looking to move to Virginia w my friend. It cant come fast enough. This place and these people are miserable
I’ve been toying with building a tool share as part of a tool share program on my property. I live in a rural area in WA. Over the years; many of us in the rural area have bought a lot of tools because we have to be a little more self reliant. I have some good leftist friends and we’ve talked about how many of those tools and such sit unused for years. I have bought numerous speciality tools I only need for one project and they sit for years. We also have talked about how even in the house, we have a lot of speciality appliances that we only use on occasion. We’d love to build a tool/equipment share that is either free to use or really really cheap (only covering maintenance/replacement costs over the years). You’d probably need to become a member and being a member will include like spending some time helping to maintain the tools/equipment. But then we’d all pitch in our tools together. Maybe there’s be an annual dues or recommended donation to pay for replacement stuff as things get broken or worn out.
Technology-wise, I see this as being something where we can hop online and browse all the stuff available and reserve it for certain times. Maybe there’s a community board on this where people can ask for help or offer up skills that can be taken. “I know how to rebuild a carburetor, so reach out if you need help”.
In many ways, I see this as like a library model type system. It could even belong to a wider network. Maybe we don’t have a specific tool or skill or equipment, but twenty miles down the road they do and maybe it’s can be brought up like how libraries swop books from other libraries.
Brilliant as usual. Well done for the moving coping. Yes, all of this is structural, the loneliness, the desperation, the violence. Didnt know you were software designer; me too a little and my (nascent) answer to your question is technocratic; many of these organisational issues and democratic pragmatism could, to my mind, be facilitated by scaleable systems taking leaves from the books of github and stackOverflow... Let's talk next year...
In a more socialist world, we could borrow a community truck as easily as checking out a library book.
Hey man, really love your videos. Your voice is calming to me, and i like videos like this where i get some insight into whats going on
Loving the new place (and is that a new camera?)!
I don't have an answer to your questions, but I remember back when I lived about two hours from where I live now, there was a neighborhood I lived in for some time that had a fantastic community. Every Easter, they'd paint white rabbit footprints on the street. Every Halloween, everyone showed up and made spooky community walks at night with actors in make-up, or otherwise just hang out outside homes with fires roaring and a mix of candy and hot dogs. People turned up for each other on a regular basis.
Granted, a lot of these folks were church-going old white people who might not have had the best opinions on queer people; I don't know, I was 10 or so at the time. But I miss a lot of that. I miss that feeling that everyone was looking out for each other, and not in the "are there troublemakers out on the street?" way but in the "don't worry, we'll make sure cars don't hit you" way. I don't know if things have changed there since I've moved, and I'm too scared to find out. But I wish there a lot more of that.
"The main thing I wanted to show you is all the up-front costs we had to cover", m'dude I think the main thing you wanted to show was your uncontroversial yet still excellent taste in 90's Nintendo games.
Nah but seriously, great points.
btw, thank you for showing me the clip to that They're Made of Meat video. It was excellent.
Little advice from the country, is to try and build relationships with your neighbors. If you have skills or equipment (my example is my dad's snowblower attachment for the mower), offer to use them for your neighbors. My dad would snowblow about 4 or 5 country driveways pretty regularly, just because he could and they all remembered that if he ever asked them for help, or even just had a few extra eggs from their chickens. Then extend that mentality to as many people as you can, and encourage them to do the same. And a big part of this: don't expect any payment or thanks, just do it to help out your neighbors.
I do wanna give my experience as a refugee as well, since mine is a lot different from yours and extra takes are probably always appreciated by others who are figuring out if this is what's in their future. For me it was a lot cheaper, mainly because I make a point not to keep very many belongings, so when I caught wind of shit hitting the fan I was able to load up everything important to me in a couple of suitcases (mainly my computer and a few sets of clothes) and hop on a plane ride basically as soon as I figured out housing. Been a while now but IIRC the timespan I had was pretty similar to yours, about 6 weeks from when I started my search for housing to the move-in date. I additionally didn't have any family members I would need to take care of in this circumstance. I think all in all this cost me about $2000, including stuff like overlapping rent, new clothes, and simple furniture + the value of whatever I had left behind (not really sure exactly on the last one, that stuff had more sentimental value to me than monetary anyways). I was lucky enough to have a relatively good job at the time, so this was doable for me without completely breaking the bank, and with nobody really willing to show up for me.
Even being able to do this relatively cheap, it's still really difficult, probably the most difficult thing I'll ever do, but for people who haven't really set down their roots, it's not impossible. Even being a minimalist, I did still have to give up a lot, but not so much that I'm dying for it. If you're able to get even a few thousand saved up, this is not some hopeless situation. If you can get help, I'd argue it's quite likely to turn out well.
Now, as far as organizing neighbors willing to help eachother out goes, maybe it would be better to have an app created for this purpose rather than attempting to reclaim one? Might run afoul of poor/nonexistant moderation if using an existing app. An app like this would definitely need a high quality moderation team that aligns with its goals and that might not be what you find using another app. I'm imagining it as something you can post requests and skills on, and people could get in contact with eachother based on them. Will likely also need a way to vouch for/against and ban users, I could definitely imagine some rich entitled Karen posting all her chores on this and then copping an attitude because the person who mowed her lawn didn't do it in a suit and tie. Maybe require people do a certain number of tasks before they are allowed to post a request, but this would discriminate against people who are disabled or might not have the ability otherwise to go out and help people so a solution would need to be found that doesn't exclude them as well. It would kind of be like using our labor as a currency in this way, where people can (hopefully, this might not work out at all like I'm imagining it to in practice) complete requests knowing that it will mean they can get help with whatever issue is bothering them.
I think that an idea that would be hugely valuable for this app is the use of geolocation relating to requests, almost like Pokémon Go. Set it up in a way where you can see requests near you that other people have, and maybe offer the ability to give you a notification if there is a request nearby that suits your skillset. Making it as easy as possible to get in contact with and help out others when someone wants to. The barrier for entry is a lot lower and so I expect it would see a lot more use if this is the difference between "Oh, I'm out vibing and this grandma a block or two down needs help washing her car, I'll just head over there while I'm out" and "Oh, I'm sitting at home but this grandma needs help a couple blocks down, let me get dressed and make sure I have all my keys and wallet and phone and break out of whatever flow state I might have been in before." Even if the task is the same, the context in which you ask definitely matters for how often you could convince someone to do it, so aiming for contexts where people are more likely to respond makes sense.
really great thoughts, thank you for sharing
i just today saw reddit do exactly this. a bunch of people coming together to help someone who was going ot have to live out of their car for a while get a bunch of basic food, a camp stove to cook it on, help with basic car maintenance, a gas station card to help buy some extra fuel, because of a post they made asking what resources were available. people are eager to do this stuff, and do it anywhere they can communicate the need and ability, those communities and networks just need bolstered and reinforced, and advertised
Your wife!
MAH WAHHH
@ThatDangDad this comment has a "translate to English" option that translated it to "WELL WOW"
I've heard some public libraries have Libraries of Things. This uses a centralized location, already known to the public, where you could check out A Thing rather than buying your own of A Thing. It's very good for tools that maybe you need for one use but don't have the money to buy or the space to store. It also increases use of the library, which increases funding for the library. More programs like that would be great.
It is something that is simple (but from from easy) and it all is around creating and maintaining a community network. The best videos on this that I found was from Beau of the Fifth Column. If I get more time to elaborate or I get more thoughts on this... I will type some more! Hopefully this helps getting people in the right direction.
I was here to say the same thing. I don't want to directly link videos from someone else's youtube channel because that seems rude. but he has some good videos.
I lived in MN for four years for school, I think you'll enjoy it! I know there are some bad clusters or events at times, but those exist everywhere - by and large I had really good experiences there and the people were generally really nice and kindhearted. I think your daughter will enjoy growing up in Minnesota more than Kentucky as well, no matter who she grows up to be.
when you said, at the beginning "or turns out to be my son" i choked up a bit. jeez your kid is loved and it shows
This is first time ever seeing one of U'r videos. I have been a long time supporter of "Beau of the Fifth Collum" an highly recommend for exactly topics like this.