Throughout my adult life, I’ve been on public assistance from time to time, including supplemental nutrition assistance. However, I’m a nice-looking white lady who “passes” for whatever middle-class fantasy people have in their brains, so they will reveal some pretty heinous thoughts about the poor not knowing that was about to pay for my groceries with a WIC certificate. The one that gets me was the time a Walmart cashier made some snide remark about how the people “on the dole” buy all their groceries on Fridays just moments before I whipped out my EBT card. And yep, it was on a Friday. Lady, we’re on the SAME TEAM. We’re fighting for scraps down here while other people literally own personal aircraft as a hobby. And if an unhoused person uses that 5 dollars to get booze, I don’t f***ing blame them. We’re all about a paycheck away from disaster and the lack of empathy is infuriating.
The irony that it was a cashier at Mal-Wart, a company known for paying people so poorly that many of the employees are "on the dole" is hard to ignore. I'm very much of the belief that fraud in public assistance programs is unwanted, and should be addressed in proportion to its impact on the overall program in question. If public nutrition assistance fraud is 1% of the overall amount allotted, then spending a similar amount of money to figure out how the fraud is happening makes sense. That said, if I notice someone shoplifting baby formula, I don't see a thing. Even if it's going to be sold to a needy parent at half of the shelf cost. And if the unhoused person uses that $5 to get booze, well, the booze makes their situation a little less intolerable, and that's up to them. I cannot control how that person spends the money.
There's no reason why every grocery store can't be subsidizes to give every patron a ration of staple goods, and anything beyond that can be purchased. Then, any homeless and hungry person can always get food without begging. The system however wants needy beggars, and that's what we are really fighting against. They have needs to have us desperate.
"Don't give that guy money. He will use it for booze and drugs." Me: " So will I. If anything, he needs them more than I do." Heard that from a comedian and really helped me step onto the path of being more thoughtful about "non useful" people. Or I guess maybe we should call them less exploitable people.
I think it was Greg Giraldo - it was for me anyway. He said the same about footage of Katrina victims stealing beer in one of his albums, Good Day to Cross a River (he probably said it in other albums and specials, but that is the one I have). There is a whole lot more he says, but I think I'll just put the biggest part of it below: "'Can you believe they're stealing beer at a time like this?' F^^^ YEAH! Yeah, I can believe it! Of course I can believe it! If I was dirt-poor and I was left behind in a major American city, and I had to doggy-paddle through sewage to find a roof to sleep on, I might wanna get f^^^ed up! I really might want to! You know what I mean? I might want to get a bit of a buzz going in that situation! A little free beer might seem like a good idea when all my sh^t was underwater!"
@@kuriadams9138 Even the ones who don't have a job literally have the best work ethic when it comes to stealing and surviving. These are driven people who were failed by a system who didn't recognize their talents
hahah also yet large obscene salaries, trickle down economy, and tax breaks seem to make sense for CEOs and such so they can spend it on girlfriends that don't need it
I have never thought this black and white about them, I just hate the ones begging for shit like I could miss that money. If I had to give everyone single one of them a euro I’d be just as broke as them. I often come across the same guy who never begs or asks for stuff so I always just give him some drink or snack and talk a bit and move on
"Don't give that person money, they'll just buy drugs/booze" in Canada is often specifically targeted at Indigenous people, whether they're unhoused or not. It's really fucking gross.
My response to this is always, ok, maybe they will. But, they gotta drink water and eat food eventually or they’re gonna die. They’ll eventually have to spend that money on something that isn’t booze eventually.
My response is usually "that's all I'd do with the same money, and they could use it more than I could". That's if I acknowledge their bullshit at all. I don't suffer stupid well, and I happily wear my contempt on my sleeve. I don't usually hear those responses more than once, one way or another.
And yet the eskimos (Inuit) survived in the bitter cold of the far north with zero money and zero modern technology for what might be over 10,000 years, if not MUCH longer than that. They did it with nothing but their own brainpower and their most important resource: Snow!
I have actually benefited from this. So, when I was in the Army I purchased a pistol with custom engraving that commemorated my deployment (had unit insignia and OIF dates engraved on the slide). I considered it a keepsake; never bought rounds for it, never fired it. When I got out of the Army I moved back to my home state, a very blue state with fairly strict gun laws. I spent years neglecting jumping through the paperwork hoops to get properly licensed to keep that firearm. Victimless crime. Anyway, one day I was in a bad roommate situation; police got involved, I ended up getting an emergency restraining order on one of the folks I was living with, bad time all around. I surrendered the weapon into police custody because I was worried that one of my roommates would try to steal it from me while I was at work (they were paranoid, I figured they'd justify it to themselves as a theft in the name of self defense). Anyway, I was informed that the magazines the weapon came with were classified as high capacity in my state, and that I should expect a summons in the mail about being arraigned on felony firearms charges. Now, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I was told that, as I had no idea how many rounds the mags could hold. Anyway, after several months and a small number of court dates, my public defender and the prosecutor arrived at a deal where the felony charges would be dropped down to misdemeanor unlicensed possession, at which point a piece of legislation aimed at benefiting the veteran community would kick in, and that so long as I kept my nose clean for the next 12 months those charges would go the way of the dodo. Which is exactly what happened. Now, if I wasn't a veteran and I was an unemployed member of a minority that lived in a bad neighborhood that had a weapon for self defense? Minimum sentence for felony possession of a high capacity magazine is 30 months, max is 10 years; I might still be in prison (the whole fiasco went down in 2017, and the weapon came with 2 mags, so I could've theoretically gotten two charges and been sentenced to up to 20 years). So, yeah, the fact that I'm a veteran made me, from a legal standpoint, more "deserving" of leniency. That I'm also white and was working two jobs at the time probably helped. Now, would throwing me into prison until I was in my 60s done any good for society? Or me? Off hand, I'd say no. Would throwing some 20 year old minority kid from a bad neighborhood in prison for what are arguably his most productive years benefit society or him any? I'd also say likely not. However, we live in a society that is willing to spend more than twice the resources on spiteful retribution than we are willing to devote to helping people reform themselves.
Your society definitely would not spend any resources without anticipated margin, especially double that amount solely out of spite. A guy incarcerated for 20 years would produce so much profit as a literal slave while getting paid (if paid at all) 10-20 times less than minimum, less than you, the happy veteran.
The unfortunate reality is that people operate on how compelling an idea is, as opposed to what would actually solve the problem. The idea of someone being "deserving" is compelling, but it clearly isn't practical for building a better society because it ignores the nuances of how individuals operate.
I'm not sure who said it, but one quip that's stuck with me about American culture (and specifically means-testing) is "we will gladly pay $5 to make sure that $1 doesn't go toward someone who doesn't deserve it." Great video!
“For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.” -Ursula K. Le Guin, The Dispossessed
I've also heard this quip in the form of this quote : “The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of whom will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn’t even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it.”
Wow. You're such a good person for not being the bad guy you just described. I'm so glad that you're a good person with a bigger brain the the bad homeless people who deserve it for being racist and homophobic.
Agreed. I realized in middle school that people will put up with an unbelievable amount of bs as long as they can see that someone else has it even worse.
When I lived in a city I’d always give a few dollars to people who came up and asked. And when I moved out, an unhoused man helped me load some heavy items. It really made my heart hurt when he thanked me multiple times just for trusting him. I gave him $50. But the few times when I retell that story I’ve learned to lower the amount to $10 or less, because people shame me for what I did. It’s awful and I hate it. Yes, I know that man could have been shedding crocodile tears to scam me for drug money, and I just enabled an addict. But what if he wasn’t? And even if he was, does that make him any less deserving of pay for helping me? I don’t know the answer. All I know is that I can’t recall the memory now without being conflicted, and I think that sucks. Richard, if you’re out there, I truly hope that money helped you in a positive way. And thank you for making me feel appreciated and valued, at a time when no one else in my life did. Even if it was actually all a scam.
The thing that no one really says aloud is that poor people do need money. And whatever "lies" they may or may not fabricate will be cause they learned the "truth" does not grant them access to mercy, decency, or a meal. Middle class people will buy wine and smoke weed with their job money - but if a poor person does it suddenly the person giving them the money has been "scammed". Do middle class folks feel their employers are getting scammed? And Rich folk... they'll literally siphon money away from everyone else, no matter what you thought that dollar was going to - it winds up with them. They will lie, refuse any taxation, and cut corners and cut wages... But how often do we talk about them as scammers? As leeches? So in the end what people need to ask themself is: why do they deserve access to a poor stranger's truth when they won't respect that truth to begin with.
The thing is, if that guy really was trying to scam you, he'd ask for the dollar amount, pressure you into that desired dollar amount, or specify a need that implies said dollar amount. Because there are ways in which the "less good" poor people, such as they are, make that seem like something you need to do right now. Especially because there are folks out there who really do need that type of specific dollar amount (which makes it viable for the fleecers to ask for the dollar amount outright). And in areas where that trick doesn't work, the actual less-than-honest people will do tricks akin to Munchausen's by proxy, or some other blatant thing adjacent to legitimate needs that people have in their area. That guy you helped didn't do any of that. He did a little work for you and was moved to tears by the fact that you trusted him. I'd say that sounds like whatever he needed was something he really needed, right now. And if that was drug money - yes, using that as a rationale for not giving the money can be a Band-Aid solution for your own personal boundaries if you have trouble enforcing them (since anyone can feel free to not want to fund certain things if they want to) but sometimes people might need something, anything, as an escape, even if that is drugs. And you were okay with the possibility that it might be drug money. So there's no reason why anyone should shame you.
You shouldn't feel conflicted. One thing I've noticed whenever I give money to someone who asks if I can spare any is that people will inevitably tell me, "If you do that every time, you'll run out of money yourself." Well, I do it every time, and I've still not run out of money.
A buddy of mine, who considers himself a liberal Democrat, CONSTANTLY moans about people mooching off the system and thinks the police can do no wrong ("Well maybe those people wouldn't have gotten hurt if they just did what they were told!"). He thinks he's always the victim and that everyone is out to steal from him personally. This guy is also very well-to-do, a landlord, and a business owner.
@@skaldlouiscyphre2453 ya, that's what landlords are. They violate the most basic of free market principles. Sell your property outright, or violate the free market. Landlords have no ethos.
Speaking of 'low-use', from an article I just read about the film "Downwind" (regarding victims of nuclear testing): “The government knowingly exposed people, what they called ‘low-use’ segments of the population - Native Americans and Mormon families - in government documents,” said Mark Shapiro, the film’s co-director. “Those are groups that roll with [things], they don’t tend to raise a ruckus.”. When push comes to shove, though, they consider most of us 'low-use'. Just a bit easier to disguise the dirty deeds when the fallout and cancer is spread out across a huge swath of land called the US of A.
I can't remember who it was but once on this topic they said something to the effect of: 'For any system that gives money to people you're going to have people who cheat the system. It's unavoidable. The question you should then be asking is: How many of those people are you willing to tolerate before you pull the plug on the whole thing? How many people are you willing to let starve so you can prevent a cheater from getting a free lunch?' And I've found that a useful way of framing things.
Even I, from a small insignificant central European country, can relate to everything. The U.S. isn't the only country suffering from all this. I have also considered people do be undeserving of things before and, especially in my younger years, I definitely agreed with many conservative things. The idea of no prison and housing the homeless for free seemed fairly illogical or dumb to me. But now, close to 40, I know better. I try to help as much as I can. When I see a homeless person I give them a little bit of money and what they do with it isn't really my concern. I just do what I can with my limited financial abilities. And compassion costs nothing.
Giving spare change to the homeless as you encounter them is a kind and noble thing to do. But what is wrong with appropriating the money from your budget you could hand out to those on the street, and donating it (as well as volunteering at) institutions such as homeless shelters and food banks in order to help those in need?
@@wyattbailey7620 Institutions aren't always the most efficient way to help people, especially where homeless services are concerned. Shelters have limited beds and spotty security. Food banks have rules about who can recieve food and how. If you give a bit of cash directly to a homeless person who has just asked you for cash, they get to use it to address whatever THEIR most pressing need is. I've known people who flounce by homeless people, telling them they gave to a soup kitchen. But that puts extra burden on that person to go find the soup kitchen, and triple pressure on someone who just wanted to use that money to get some damn tampons.
Volunteering is great; don't get me wrong. But it's not enough at the end of the day. There are a wide variety of services available, but not enough services and not enough access.
@@wyattbailey7620 Speaking as someone who on occasion has cause to need a hand from their community from time to time, cash helps the most. Homeless shelters and food banks are all well and good don't get me wrong, but money spends and I cant pay my rent or buy new shoes or a new pack, etc without hard currency and those resources are often stretched thin as hell when they are available at all. Ten or twenty bucks can make a big difference sometimes, and everyone has to do what they can so donating is great too, but for real, a handful of cash is far more helpful on an individual level and I guess it's just a matter of whether you want to help the person in front of you or some theoretical group to an unknown and probably immeasurable degree. So, y'know.......just do what y'all can? Either one is fine, just keep yelling at city council and state legislatures while you do it.
Everyone I know who's been homeless has universally told me that shelters suck. That's where you go to get robbed, raped, and infected with covid or whatever else is floating around. There's a reason so many people opt for tents under a bridge instead.
I work in Oakland CA and having conversation around the unhoused population is super frustrating because people as so unaware of the extent to which they are brainwashed by the "deserving poor" ideology. Sure ok, that dude is unhoused and has massive trauma to recover from before he can function within society's " normal parameters" (TM), but not doing anything because he "must've done something to deserve it" is perverse.
Reminds me of a theory I made up, that the difference between the political left and right lies in how they answer the question "What's worse, someone getting something they don't deserve, or someone who deserves something not getting it?" Conservatives seem terrified of the thought of someone getting something they don't deserve, while giving almost no thought to all the people who deserve better.
It's also a matter of what it means to be "deserving" in the first place. To the right, people only deserve what they contribute. You only only get out what you put in. If you aren't producing any value, you don't deserve anything, not even food on your plate or a roof over your head. To the left, people deserve what they need. Are you hungry? Then you deserve food. Are you cold and wet? Then you deserve shelter. Before you can even think of someone's productivity, you need to make sure their needs are met. Once they're stable, then they can start being productive, as opposed to the other way around.
I had an argument about this recently, the guy claimed if the parents couldn’t afford .30 cents to feed their kids a PB&J then they didn’t deserve to be parents. And no one would feed his kids so why should he feed others. I came in with telling him if I wanted to join the workforce I legally could receive a sub minimum wage of .15 cents an hr in my state due to my disability. It would take me two hrs of work to afford that, and you cannot just buy a .30 cent PB&J you have to buy the ingredients in bulk to get that price. I don’t have kids, but I would be willing to pay higher taxes to pay for a kid’s school lunch, and I can and do participate in charity to move excess food to food drives. So I am that someone who would feed his kids. He thought I would raise taxes because I don’t pay any. I believe his word choice was ‘Do I believe a disabled, unemployed, Chinese woman pays taxes, no’. Jokes on him though, I’m Black, queer, I have two degrees (no student debt), and an atheist to boot, and I told him three times by this point I was wealthy enough to choose unemployment over a .15 cent wage (because I know my work is worth more than that) due to inheritance, inheritance I pay taxes on and which disqualified me from collecting disability. I even told him I was arguing from a place of privilege. Unfortunately, you can’t take the racism, ableism, sexism, and religious discrimination out of this discussion on who ‘deserves’ aid.
This is core to conservative thinking. Worst part is that so many liberals agree with it. In Germany, the harshest reduction to welfare spending was done under the social democrats. Now a fifth of German children live in poverty and we managed to go from the European country with the highest wages to the one with the lowest wages. Rethinking is only slowly coming around, 20 years later.
Similar development in Sweden, everything from education to public transportation now has to justify its own existence not by being a public good but by being profitable.
In that regard, the EU and the euro have been an unmitigated disaster for the south of Europe. I still remember how certain german media portrayed us as lazy freeloaders that used "german tax money" to live a life of luxury. The Maastricht treaty put in place a system of fiscal rules that are basically perpetual austerity enforced on the entire continent. Combined with how disfunctional the euro is, it's the perfect recipe for crisis. I don't want to go in a rant about how fiat money works and why the "taxes fund spending" is bullshit but really, every country needs its own currency
This is so interesting and really puts to words something i've struggled against with people my entire life. Its probably because im autistic that made me out of step with this, but the idea of "deserving" things has always been baffling to me from jump. It has never, ever made sense to me that someone in crisis deserves what happens to them. It has never made sense to me to desire revenge. Like i'm an abuse and r*pe survivor, its not that i dont understand the impulse for retribution, or thinking some people have done too much harm to deserve another chance. B but even then...i'v3 always had this nagging doubt and discomfort with that too. What makes me the arbiter of what someone Deserves as punishment? Who does, really, besides the person(s) who were harmed? And even then, what is motivating their choices??? It also manifests in this deep...envy people have, the hatred. They feel a certain person or group dont deserve the good thing they have that THEY don't have. Like seeing a young black family move into the suburbs, and being almost fanatically obsessed with monitoring them for "bad" behavior to prove that they really DONT deserve what they have. Its horrorifying Also...i really appreciate your final notes on this. You know this bc i talk about it on twitter all the time, but even before i had long covid, organizing was a nightmare for people with chronic pain conditions, and like. The fact that online activism is so disapared actively makes people unable to organize irl much less likely to get involved! It matters we make our spaces and movements accessible, but we also need to keep an open mind to how thats not the only way to do thinga, and sometimes not even the most effective way! The mask think has been the most personally hurtful to me. Its such a good way to signal that you don't care if you get sick, or the people around you get sick, or that there are people who getting sick will disable or kill them. And that shouldnt be acceptable in leftist spaces.
"The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, is getting something they do not deserve." Yup. Ain't that America? I had to try to get over that fear myself, particularly with people at my working class level or lower. I tend to think that the ways our govt and schools have gotten worse is because of this fear...the boomers particularly...the ones who had certain safety nets in place when they grew up and found some level of comfort and success, then when future generations came up, it was a bunch of "i'm not putting my tax dollars towards that" and "it wasn't like that when I grew up", and so on and so forth. But especially looking down on poor folks, or type casting them all as scammers faking it and refusing to get work. It's quite unfortunate. And the "unworthy" mindset is another beast, and it's not just how we go about in dealing out 'rewards' or resources, but even belonging, community, love, etc. I could type a few paragraphs about community, as I know a lot of my struggles in the queer community is drawn from my perceived lack of worth or usefulness. But I'll spare it. Good to see you again.
As someone with lupus and a chronic back injury... i can say I've spent more money since being disabled and poor than when i was healthy and working... but many see it as laziness, even though my insurance is $748 a month and $2179 for my auto immune biologics medications every 4 weeks as well. But my income is 10k too much to qualify for assistance of any sort... even though 2k a month ìts pre expense income they count...so on paper it looks like im doing okay
Even I have to stop and examine my own thoughts of who is deserving of what, and I’m house-bound with agoraphobia and trying to scrape by on disability due to multiple chronic illnesses. It’s a tough mindset to work out of, for sure! Thankfully there’s a number of us out there willing to grapple with our first reactions to situations/information. I just hope that in the future many more will join us.
And another thing!! If we’re going to start talking about who “deserves” what, tell me how a single CEO riding the gilded coattails of family wealth “deserves” an astronomically huge paycheck. If they wanna play the “who deserves what” game, they better be careful about that glasshouse and oh-so-many stones. See what you’ve done, TD Dad?l Now I’m riled! 😂
My dad told me (his daughter that has no real choice but to continue living at home) and my aunt and uncle (who were at the time homeless and living with us while being senior citizens working for $7.25 hr) that we didn't deserve a living wage because we didn't own a house and therefore shouldn't get a say...idk how that makes sense either
I think the background of so much of the normalized cruelty and schadenfreude in our country is that we are hurting, we feel fragile and vulnerable, and we maintain our egos by making them feel smaller...just as everyone else is maintaining own fragile ego by making us feel smaller. A very vicious feedback loop, very much akin to the "I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat" dilemma.
I knew this would be good. Yes, I've been undeserving most of my life. After all, no one can see CPTSD, brain damage, an herniated disc, or eye from the outside. I kept trying. Finally, a little over 10 years ago, I found my way into a program that has been helping me. When I tell people about the help I receive they say, "Well, you deserve it." I smile politely and say thank you. But, I'm sad inside, thinking about all the people, like myself, with invisible problems. A few years ago I started leaving hashtags such as #MedicareForAll in news channels on RUclips. I figure if I'd had access to consistent, uninterrupted healthcare when I was say, 20, which was the earliest time PTSD could have been diagnosed, I might not be disabled now. Some people say rude things. (But, I've heard just about all of them already.) Sometimes people listen. That's what makes it worth it. I tell people I'm doing this for the 20 year olds with problems that may be invisible, so they can have help. I'm happy to be alive, but it didn't have to be this hard.
I've been thinking about similar ideas recently after reading Alfie Kohn's book Punished by Rewards. He argues (I think quite persuasively) that both punishments and rewards are at best ineffective, and at worst counterproductive, in promoting desired behaviour. He presents considerable research showing as much and puts forward arguments as to why that might be. Even if poor parents should be solely responsible for caring for their children, neither punishments nor rewards would be a good way of promoting this. Of course, if we don't believe they should, any such systems become not only ineffective but cruel.
@@JaniceLHz firstly, he suggests that we need to be clear that motivation is not just one thing. There's extrinsic motivation and intrinsic motivation, and extrinsic motivation always comes at the expense of intrinsic motivation. It then follows that we should seek to tap into intrinsic motivation since it is always the stronger and more sustainable of the two. He suggests building a strong relationship built on respect and open communication. He suggests we explain the reasons for the desired behaviour (and consider if it's really necessary, or if we're simply seeking compliance without justification). Further, he argues for setting goals, etc. together rather than imposing them from on high. This is necessarily a condensed and incomplete version of his argument. If you're really interested in getting to know it and the research that underpins it, I'd really recommend reading his book. He does a much better job setting it forth than I ever could do justice to in a RUclips comment.
I just want to say as a musician, I understand how hard describing music can be, and I always appreciate how evocative your descriptions of the music is in the closed captions!
I’ve never had issues understanding what @ThatDangDad says, so I hadn’t turned the captions on until this was mentioned. Thank you for writing your own captions!! Way too many don’t (and I understand why, because I know from experience that it’s quite the effort to do so), so I truly appreciate that you do. I’ll be using your captions from now on so that I can also appreciate the music descriptions. 😊 (May I ask one thing, though? Would you split up the music descriptions into smaller, more equal length lines, so they’re more easily read?)
It's always worth doing some self-reflection about what we believe and why, and whether it's consistent with our other ideals. Some years ago, I realized that my beliefs about disability were not internally consistent. I had what I thought at the time were "reasonable" views, because they were a more sympathetic - but not radical - version of the standard social view of disability. But I knew that it wasn't consistent with my other beliefs and that my beliefs about disability ultimately were dehumanizing. So I decided to immerse myself in disability politics. I followed a bunch of disability advocates on social media and read many articles. I think my opinions were most affected through proximity and familiarity, but that was what was needed to displace my earlier opinions, which had been formed by familiarity with social norms and the ways abled people are taught to distance themselves from disabled people. Even the most rational person (which I can't claim to be) will have some irrational beliefs and sometimes you just have to sit through the discomfort if you want to change. I did also learn a lot about the rationales behind disability activism, which is also a critical part of that change. But it's often been noted that you can't reason someone out of a position they didn't come to through reason, and I think that makes familiarity and emotional significance very important to the first steps of changing your mind. It is possible to emotionally invest yourself in something wrong, which is why emotion alone is dangerous and needs to be supported with reason, but emotion is typically a stronger motivator for change. Thank you for making that connection with prison abolition, because that's something I have been needing to explore more. I believe that prisons do more harm than good, but I still have some uncomfortable cognitive dissonance about it because of my emotional investment in punitive "justice". I appreciate the call to reflection, and I think it's time for me to get invested in this topic.
I had trouble treating the actual nazis that came through my practice. I had to keep reminding myself to be fair and compassionate when treating a patient with insignia all over their skin, so I think I know what you're talking about.
@@jeffersonclippership2588 Ain't like that when you're a medical professional and observe your oath. You don't get to make that choice anymore. That's one of the arguments against allowing people to refuse care to (insert marginalized group here) - medicine is supposed to be as much above that garbage as it can be. And I'm fully aware that it can never be fully 'above' it.
@@jeffersonclippership2588 um, just because someone is a shitty person doesnt mean they deserve to get sick and possibly die from a lack of medical care? like, punch a nazi, punch every nazi in their face and break a few teeth for good measure but also don't let a fellow human spread around then die from easily treated illnesses.
Thanks for this video. I’ve been trying to explain to others how the concept of “deserve” is highly toxic in our political culture and this video explains it better than I’ve been able to.
I think I came to this realization a few years ago; that the many standards by which we decide who is "deserving" or not are almost universally arbitrary.
The first point you made about how fearful people can be that someone "undeserving" will get something they haven't earned wasn't new to me, but the secondary explanation about who is "useful" or not was the first time I'd heard that articulated. That's part of the problem when we talk about problems in society and how we might go about fixing them: we need to find a way to communicate with EVERYONE in a way they can understand and recognize something they're probably familiar with already but unfortunately, sometimes the people we need to reach the most have decided that they don't want to listen. It's terrifying, quite frankly. At any rate, I don't know why the YT algorithm recommended your video to me, but I'm very glad it did :)
thanks TDD that was a perfectly articulated insight. As a behavioral scientist, I'm always looking for these brief but striking forced perspective taking prompts to share with people who are not aware of how strongly our implicit biases dominate our behavior because we aren't even capable of viewing them plainly. Really great essay.
oh i have lots to say here! Regarding police abolition, i find a lot of people equate their feelings with their beliefs. for these people they are often one in the same. for me that is not the case for a lot of fundamental beliefs i hold! do i hate child molesters and want them to rot in prison forever? yeah! do i think that's how we ought to treat them in the real world? no! both thoughts can exist at the same time! i've found myself marking some people undeserving plenty of times, it's part of unlearning what i've been taught. one that stands out to me though, and something that might trip up other folks like me, is pet ownership. that it's a luxury you only deserve if you have the money for expensive vets bills. what this says between the lines is that poor people don't deserve the companionship and love from an animal, something very human and beneficial to mental health. that's a pretty cruel thing to think, huh? that realization hit me really hard, considering i volunteer regularly with a cat rescue. this belief also holds back rescue efforts! look at flatbush cats; they're setting up a low-cost spay and neuter clinic not just to help people, but to help get the cat population down. cruelty only holds us back. and finally: i moved into an assisted living apartment building last year. it's the exact level of help i need, i get a spacious one-bedroom apartment all to myself for a mere $650 a month, and i (mostly my mom tbh) even wrangled the stupid ministry who tried to take my benefits away for no reason when i moved in. i'm financially stable and so, so much happier here than i was living with my mom. but...do i deserve it? i could continue living with my mom, she's not abusive or anything, and she's well-off with plenty of space. or i could probably manage to rent a small room somewhere and have my mom help me with some of the stuff i can't do. there are only 40 beds for physically disabled people under 55 who need moderate assistance (aka not long term/nursing home care) for the few million people who live here. i don't even use a lot of the help offered in my building because i don't need it. i passed the housing assessment and didn't lie to get here, not even by omission, but i still feel like i'm undeserving. it's not my fault that the government won't provide more homes like mine, but it still nags at me that i shouldn't have taken this offer. don't worry, i'm not about to move out of here in shame or anything, but it's a guilt that's been hard to shake. i deserve happiness and accommodation, it just sucks that it means taking a bed away from someone else. hope you enjoyed my wall of text haha! thanks for reading
People go on living, after being othered. Even when they are othered for "good reason," like an assaulter being put in prison. We need to think very hard about whether the ways we force them to live after that point actually make the world a better place.
I have definitely noticed a tendency to very quickly judge who deserves a second chance, and it's something I've actively tried to avoid participating in. It's so easy to move from "they did something bad, so they are a bad person" to "they did something I don't understand, so they are a bad person". And once the "bad person" judgement is made, taking the time to understand that thing is seen as unnecessary or downright dangerous.
Thank you for this food for thought. I have long held the belief that everyone is deserving of redemption. That every human has inherent value and worth. That no act, however heinous, ought deprive a person from basic dignity and care. I have been in some pretty low places myself, and have done some rather regrettable things (because of some of the reasons you mentioned), and thanks to those who cared enough to show me the goodness in humanity, some decency, and help me find a safe place to begin to work on repairing the damage inside myself and then in my life, I have been able to have a second, third and even fourth shot at a life that for me is worth living. In those places I have found humans who have fallen far deeper into the places of despair than me, and who have come out shining a whole lot brighter than one could possibly imagine. So none of that part was news to me. The part that really scrambled me was the reminder that even when fighting for accessibility in spaces and to resources for myself and those I have come to care about, it’s so easy to forget how many people get left out. How many people are still not given a seat at the table, as it were, just because it’s “too hard” to make sure they can even get to the dang table. It feels really yucky when even small concessions can’t be made for others. But it’s a gut punch to try to wrap my head around the complex multitudes of ways we collectively are failing each other that are only obvious when you’re the one being repeatedly let down and forgotten. Thanks for helping expand my awareness. I commit to redoubling my efforts, to the best of my own abilities, even if sometimes that means only continuing the chain to spread awareness to others so that we can help each other find more ways to get to the table.
The concept of "What people deserve" is the flip side of the belief in free will. If you "do evil" you *deserve to be punished". And if you do "good work" you "deserve to be rewarded" (paid). Anything outside of that framework is considered a moral hazard. It is indeed an unconscious background impulse that is holding society back.
I am consistently blown away by your way of putting such important things into such elegant and powerful words without losing any of the punch - especially in terms of me still being able to feel comfortable and even productive with sharing your video essays (not to compare doing so in any way to ACTUAL activism/education/agitation, of course) with both other Leftists AND excruciatingly conservative people. Your talent, grace, and tact remain almost unparalleled, and I'm all the happier knowing your relaying of messages is getting out there. An infinitesimal few can do what you do, and what you do gives me something to aspire to as someone who is not one of those few. Thank you.
i was talking to my dad about this (we live in the UK) and he was going on about how, when he was younger and we were under a Labour government, he had a friend who didn't work because the dole paid better than even my dad was making as a junior solicitor, and he used to see people queueing round the block. we went back and forth for a while, and i told him that that would be preferable to the scenario now when there are lots of people, like my partner's mother, who can't get the help they need because of the Tories tightening restrictions on who can get help and how much help they can get. he said we were working on two different value systems and i, being frustrated, said that i value life over productivity. he said "i don't", not when his taxes are going towards someone sitting on their backside all day (he said the last bit too, but i'm not so sure about the exact wording as i write this 10 minutes later, whereas two horrible words are much easier to remember word-for-word).
I think something worth remembering is that society often uses the treatment of the worst people within it as a template for everybody. The lower we set the bar of acceptable treatment, the further you have the ability to fall if society no longer considers you to be desirable. It's always easier to come up with excuses as to why your personal least favorite crime is morally equivalent to murder then it is to explain, in detail, why every action you take towards a murderer is necessary and justified. We often don't feel the need to explain why we treat people of certain way if they are a bad person, but why we treat people a certain way is arguably as important as how we treat them.
thankyou for verbally recognising that immunocompromised people not only exist but, in this context, are disabled and can be seriously hurt by casual bare-faced gatherings
An invisible disability is such a strange situation also... Deserving but it could go either way with people .. some don't pry, assume that whoever is in charge has done their job and disability means disabled... So they just accept. The other way... Suddenly they look at you differently and get quiet.. beware if pushed these ones will spew ridiculousness. 😅
Thanks Phil. I have been trying to articulate my problem with this mindset for literal decades, and it's so hard, because of the difficulty of combating the simplistic narrative of "people should earn their way." So, OK, fine. I think working hard to support my community is good too. And, yes, supporting someone who takes advantage of that generosity feels shitty. But how do you map that shit onto the child of addicts (for example)? That kid didn't exactly earn their lot in life _now did they._ But there's no way to slot that kid into our narrative until they literally levitate through the combined forces of sheer willpower and golden bootstraps, so I sure do hope their genes have some answers for them. Gah.
I'm so glad I found you! The way you can put into words my jiggly thoughts. And the way you were looking at that fly made me laugh😂 Have some norwegian hugs❤
Thank you for including disabled people in this video, we are often overlooked in the grand scheme of leftist politics; and bonus points for mentioning chronic fatigue. I hope that one day, our culture is able to view criminals in a more empathetic frame. I do believe the death penalty can occasionally apply in extreme cases, that it can have an aim beyond just punishing criminals, but besides those few outliers our go-to should be restorative justice and not punitive justice.
I feel this is one of those topics that people may not recognize within themselves right away, but having pointed it out to them with examples will allow them to see it more clearly in the future, in themselves and otherwise.
"Getting more than they deserve" This is funny (/s), bc it's only used in terms of money or 'benefits'. When it's about health or misery, in the mind of the same ppl, "they get exactly what they deserve" (some type of prosperity gospel thinking, I guess). It's always easier to make up the bills from somebody else, bc you only see part of their situation, thus only part of their real costs/bills. But, for those taking part in it, i guess it feels good to judge. 🤷🏼♀️ I may sound cross, guess I am. You hit kind of some sore spots. Good vid though. Love 💜💞
As an immunocompromised, ambulatory chair user with chronic fatigue (who used to be a boots on the ground protestor), thank you for bringing up those points at the end. I felt seen.
We can speak about the top of the hill, the "deserving". We can speak about the bottom of the hill, the "undeserving". We always forget about that steep slippery slope in between, where "more deserving" and "less deserving" dwell... where all biases reveal themselves, a paradigm of judgments and senses of justice/right/proper/correct.
4:50 - you know this, I know this, and it's just obviously logically the case - but when I've said this in response to posts decrying those awful homeless people and claiming that providing more housing for poor folks will _only bring more of them_ I've gotten [citation needed] in response.
If anyone is willing to provide search terms for the results of policies where they actually did simply give people housing (was one in Salt Lake City?), I would use those to bookmark for when I have those discussions and need the citations.
Really good video and well-covered, Phil. You can apply this same logic to so many topics that are central to our politics. Immigration is an area where this is directly relevant. It's clear to me that the "illegal/legal" framing that so often crops up is another example of an undeserving/deserving dichotomy, with, in my mind, no moral justification for treating the individuals and families in either group differently.
As someone who begged on a corner and slept rough for several months, I just want to say that even the smallest moment of humanization is a blessing. Asking for money is hard. Being treated as less than human for having to do it is awful. If you have nothing to give, please smile at the person begging, and tell them you can't right now. And for the love of all that is holy, don't waste your money on buying people asking for money a sandwich instead. So what if they are gonna buy drugs with it? What difference does it make to you once you have handed over the money and moved on? But I have been given sandwiches with things I am allergic to, yelled at for asking if an allergen was present, or lied to about it... I have been given food moments after eating, and unable to bring the food with me thus making me feel guilty for it going to waste... Just give people what they ask for, or give them nothing at all and apologize for being unable to help -- whatever the reason, even if you feel really strongly about not wanting to enable addiction. Oh, and a note on addiction -- getting money from strangers is not quite how enabling works. An enabler is a person who consistently gives money to a loved one or acquaintance, believing that they are reducing that person's suffering. And the person who is suffering is the enabler -- not the addict. While, sure, an addict knowing they can always convince that one person to buy them drugs emboldens their manipulations and could potentially lead to escalating use when the money is plentiful, the issue is that the enabler is getting warped by their relationship to the drug abuser. Their kindness is being twisted, they are being manipulated, they are being gaslit, and they often lose themselves in the relationship and lose the money they need to build themselves a happy and stable life. Putting yourself in the mental space that you can stop someone's addiction by denying them money, or a roof over their head, or whatever else is manipulative, controlling, and wrong, and it doesn't make you an enabler, it makes you a busybody.
It's true (at least in my case) that poor in America can get free and cheap things that others have to pay for. But, one way to look at this instead of hating the poor who get those basics for free or cheap, is to think about what if corporations paid their fair share of taxes instead of dodging their tax. If they paid, there would be plenty of surplus so that the middle class could also get those breaks that make life easier.
40 Years Of Seasoned Ugliness finding a 6th Gear. I live in a smallish town in OK and it's just exhausting the effort people will go to be unpleasant to others unlike themselves. Life is exhausting so why make it more so. BTW...the fly struggle is real. As I commented on your last ep. last month 100 mph winds blew thru on Father's Day weekend, and we lost power for 5 days straight from good ol El Nino + Climate Change mambo and it appears the dipterans are having a banner year.
thanks for this... I often feel like I deserved nothing after every mistakes. like I should be severely punished after I did something wrong, and be barred access from anything that I deemed "fun" or "enjoyable". I sometimes even fall to that mindset whenever I found fault in someone else, tho that part seemed to get better as I grow old. Thank you for pointing this out
Hey, give yourself love, man. Those of us who get up every morning and try again, in spite of any mistakes we've made, deserve some nice. Everyone, everyone, everyone makes mistakes.
I'm autistic. I recently lost my benefits because my parents retired (there's a little more to it than that, but that is the root cause) and even with benefits I was barely surviving. Now I can either become a burden on my friends or just. Give up. I'm working as much as I'm able to already but I'm staring down the fact that I'm considered unworthy of help by the society I live in. It's not a great feeling
So many of America's problems would disappear if working Americans were just paid a decent wage for a change. They are suffering from a half-century of stagnant and declining pay due to voodoo trickle-down Reaganomics which we were promised would lift all boats. It didn't. They are long overdue for a very substantive raise. My understanding is that if pegged to productivity (because “hard work is rewarded”) the minimum wage should be well over $20, and if it went up at the same rate as Wall Street bonuses (hardly work?) it would be over $40. Can you imagine what it would be if it went up at the same rate as CEO compensation? Over 1000%! From BusinessInsider: “The typical full-time salary in America would be $102,000 if wages had kept up with growth - but the economy has failed 90% of workers...”
Don't blame Reagan, blame the 1965 Immigration Reform Act. Real wages have been flat since 1970 because of the constant influx of low wage workers from south of the border. The only time wages started to go up was when Trump was in and started closing off the border. Now Biden has made the problem worse than ever. If you want to see wages go up, close the border.
@@anonygent You are thoughtlessly parroting a propaganda script designed by corporate oligarchs to manipulate working Americans into hating and blaming their fellow citizens rather than those who are actually responsible for their lousy quality of life. My friend, it isn't the Blacks, or the immigrants, or the Jews, or the drag queens, or the Muslims who are responsible for your lousy quality of life. It is the uber-wealthy corporate oligarchs. It is also they who design the propaganda scripts-- like this one you are thoughtlessly parroting-- to make you hate and blame those other groups, rather than those who are your actual enemy. In the immortal words of Lyndon Johnson, "If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." You've been bamboozled.
Oh man, yet again you produce something that makes me feel so *seen* and that packs such a staggering amount of material in under 20 minutes… I honestly don’t know how you do it! I can’t even begin to pull together a coherent, thoughtful comment just yet. I will note that I ran across the “deserving [insert policy/group being discussed here]” idea way back in my guileless youth (roughly late 1970s through mid 80s), so the concept has been in active examination for quite a while, though I couldn’t begin to dredge up any specific source(s) at this point. It’s always had extremely personal relevance to me for multiple reasons from my earliest encounters with the concept. On a lighter note, the little end bit about the damned fly was delightful. I’ve had a population boom of spiders in my house recently, so lots and lots of them have been captured and released to a less confined location (the backyard). I always wish them luck and advise them to watch out for the birds. I even have a dedicated transport vehicle for them-a small mason jar and thin piece of cardboard 😁🕷️🫙
The unused idea was the way the english justified colonised australua The english called australia 'terra nullis' as the natives only 'walked over the land' not settled it - it was 'nobodys land' so it wasn't theft for them to colonise it
I wonder if you've ever considered creating a book list you've gotten a lot from. or even something like what you can do on goodreads with shelves for (read, want-to-read, maybe, etc.) or even on LibraryThing, or just a list on a website similar to that on Zoe Baker's personal site
*CW DISCUSSIONS OF ABUSE* As someone who was victimized by a person whose parents were wealthy enough to bail him out of jail for various crimes many people would consider unforgivable, I have never really thought about the prison system as an answer to my longing for justice. I still wouldn't feel safe if he was spending the rest of his days in a cell, and I have laughed in the faces of anyone suggesting I should forgive him. Sometimes I'm curious enough to look at the registries and see if his name is where it should be for the safety of everyone under this corrupt system, but I have never once found it. CPS didn't do its job, and DHS took over, which just enabled him; the 'justice' system failed me and every other victim of his. I do not wish for the divine judgement of the rich and powerful to side with me and take him down after all these years-- the only thing that can bring me solace is the day he leaves this world. I don't want retaliatory violence to be controlled by the state-- not that he will ever truly have to face his actions-- so if this was a world where I could, I would bring that day I long for closer by my own hand. I wish for a world in which victims are listened to when such trauma is inflicted. I've struggled with finding a balance between the safety I would feel in having him gone and the realities of marginalized people who are punished by their fellow person and the state. I still can't decide if it's wrong to wish harm upon someone under any context, so I've prefaced or explained in such discussions with people I know personally by saying that my morals are fucked. Even if I do find my feelings on the matter to be justified, such things cannot be openly told to people who do not at least try to understand the pain a victim of child SA feels, so I never go into much detail. Of course, I think punching fascists and other bigots is okay-- but trying to explain celebrating the death of someone who is not on most people's radars is difficult. Most people seem to agree that p*dos like him deserve 'what's coming', but I've long grown cynical about people saying they want to protect kids. I actively fear right-wingers' direct abuse, but centrists enable them and leftists don't seem to give a shit most of the time. It makes me bitter to have stories like mine ignored on the side that's supposed to care about systemic injustice, as if the custody system doesn't ruin lives via wrong decisions all the time. My abuser (my biological father) should have never been allowed shared custody of me with all the testimonies CPS heard from my family about how dangerous he is. They should've believed my mom and saved us a world of trouble and the cost of therapy for most of my life. This never should've happened to anyone before me, to me, or after me. Thank you to anyone who read my rambling thoughts. PTSD can be treated with therapy, medication, care, and time. We're gonna be okay.
Utility is overrated. Land should be able to exist without being used by humans. People should be allowed to exist without being "useful" or profitable. There is value outside of what our system considers useful.
Microcosmically, my father used to do a "using the unused" ditty with me in childhood- mostly by declaring that all the things I was doing or had an interest in doing were undeserving of an expenditure of time- and I should just do whatever he wanted me to do instead. Anyway, interesting. [Desire to Know More intensifies]
I'm physically disabled and immunocompromised, and I think the thing that popped up most in my mind this entire video is when, during the time period where people were starting to really protest having to wear masks and get the vaccine, I pointed out to my parents that not getting the vaccine and refusing to wear a mask when people like myself exist and would be protected by such measures and are likely to get sick and die when those measures aren't taken seemed callous to me, and that I think it's unfair to keep demanding all the onus to protect ourselves be on us. My parents responded by essentially saying "Well, that's the way it's always been." As if the idea of even attempting to change our society to be friendlier and safer for people like me, their own child, was unthinkable, and that because us having to worry about ourselves and being the acceptable casualties of an illness was how it's always been, that's how it should always be. As if being disabled and immunocompromised makes us inherently undeserving of safety and the chance to live fuller, happier lives, like we might be able to if society worked to accommodate our needs and keep us safe. I've always known and been aware of the fact that people viewed me and people like me and others as "lesser" and less deserving of resources and inclusion in spaces. I've never felt very welcome in leftist spaces because I often get told that things like just signing petitions aren't enough and I should go to protests and help organize IRL even though IRL spaces are not made particularly safe for or friendly to me. I was EXTREMELY aware, early in the pandemic, of people treating it like COVID wasn't that bad because it only killed the elderly and the disabled, like myself. I remember when I learned about the way my hospital was prioritizing who they would try and save first in the event two people needed a ventilator and saw immediately that anyone who was disabled or immunocompromised was going to be thrown by the wayside if it came to it. I had to be on SSI for a while because of how severely my disabilities were affecting me and I always felt like the pittance you're given for that is a great indicator that the government and society as a whole wishes I just wasn't around, or that at the very least believes I'm not deserving of having even enough money to survive on my own. And I'd experienced other issues with roommates in the past, such as refusals to tell me when they were sick after I directly asked them to as an accommodation for my conditions. But to hear my own parents parrot that rhetoric back at me was probably the most jarring thing I have ever experienced.
In the motorcycle community there is a lot of this in the form of the ‘crabs in a bucket’ mentality where people who drive cars don’t want to allow motorcycles to lane split because it is ‘unfair’ to them, even though it demonstrably reduces traffic.
i think about this kinda thing a lot. its a process kind of thing. we can so easily go into auto-pilot and fall back into the old habits. it's good to be reminded and to always work on being mindful.
The idea of "deserving" was one of the first and I think most important ideas to evaporate for me when I started wrestling with the idea of determinism.
My brain ground to a complete halt over the thought that women’s bathrooms are being treated this way. Who deserves to pee?? As I finally recovered myself enough to move on, I remembered how exclusion of asexuals from queer spaces is framed as undeserving people taking resources from the real queer people. Exclusionists will argue vehemently for this, despite being unable to provide any compelling examples.
About "deserving" or not punishment a way I like to frame it is "in an ideal world, in YOUR ideal world would this person not exist or would this person simply not have caused harm?"
I have been fascinated with this idea since I realized it was what drives most politics in the Overton window. The obsession with making sure people get 'what they deserve' rather than with how society would best function. No society can healthily function when a large amount of its workers are in bad health due to not being able to afford healthcare and food, for example. Making these things universally accessible is simply a matter of oiling the machine. Whether or not specific parts of the machine morally 'deserve' to be oiled is irrelevant if you actually care about making the machine work.
A) Society is not a machine. B) 90% of the problems are in fact *caused* by government. Expecting the government to fix the problems it caused is an exercise in folly.
Watch this the day it came out and I've been thinking about it since, this is a good one~ And yea I've been. My life is largely a series of getting "bit by this philosophy" as you put it :< But it's getting to be less terrible, slowly, and I've got some people rly in my corner which helps _a lot_
I'm still trying to rid myself fully of this mentality; it's insidiously woven into so much, including the in-group + self-policing vulnerable groups do to each other lest we be "undeserving". My thing now is making that "urge to cop" on anything a flag for self-examination before I do, bc the impulse is so rarely righteous or effective or in keeping with my own ethical framework. I do it with my self-policing & in-group urges, too. I sometimes arrive at the idea of intervening regardless, but at least I got there the best way I know how & checked my agenda + biases & ran it thru my ethics-o-meter & know why I came to think that in that case, rather than knee-jerk dehumanizing. Which is what calling a person "undeserving" really means.
ALS/Lou Gehrigs Disease killed my dad in 2007. When his speech began to slur before he got diagnosed, people he'd known for years thought he was an alcoholic. It's incredible what people will assume of you and your worth even as you are dying of an incurable and untreatable disease.
Really appreciate how frequently you talk on disability because it's so often overlooked. When talking about what is "useful" it made me think how sometimes this goes beyond passive not providing help as well. Even on the "left" we see people focus on who is "not useful" as an excuse to attack or haraas people.
Throughout my adult life, I’ve been on public assistance from time to time, including supplemental nutrition assistance. However, I’m a nice-looking white lady who “passes” for whatever middle-class fantasy people have in their brains, so they will reveal some pretty heinous thoughts about the poor not knowing that was about to pay for my groceries with a WIC certificate. The one that gets me was the time a Walmart cashier made some snide remark about how the people “on the dole” buy all their groceries on Fridays just moments before I whipped out my EBT card. And yep, it was on a Friday. Lady, we’re on the SAME TEAM. We’re fighting for scraps down here while other people literally own personal aircraft as a hobby. And if an unhoused person uses that 5 dollars to get booze, I don’t f***ing blame them. We’re all about a paycheck away from disaster and the lack of empathy is infuriating.
The irony that it was a cashier at Mal-Wart, a company known for paying people so poorly that many of the employees are "on the dole" is hard to ignore.
I'm very much of the belief that fraud in public assistance programs is unwanted, and should be addressed in proportion to its impact on the overall program in question. If public nutrition assistance fraud is 1% of the overall amount allotted, then spending a similar amount of money to figure out how the fraud is happening makes sense.
That said, if I notice someone shoplifting baby formula, I don't see a thing. Even if it's going to be sold to a needy parent at half of the shelf cost.
And if the unhoused person uses that $5 to get booze, well, the booze makes their situation a little less intolerable, and that's up to them. I cannot control how that person spends the money.
There's no reason why every grocery store can't be subsidizes to give every patron a ration of staple goods, and anything beyond that can be purchased. Then, any homeless and hungry person can always get food without begging.
The system however wants needy beggars, and that's what we are really fighting against. They have needs to have us desperate.
You caught some stupid right there. For someone to have that attitude in a Wal-Mart uniform of all things is ridiculous. "Always low wages. Always!"
You get all the claps I can possibly give!!!!
Hello from another white lady sometimes mistaken for a suburbanite! I know right where you're coming from. ❤
"Don't give that guy money. He will use it for booze and drugs."
Me: " So will I. If anything, he needs them more than I do."
Heard that from a comedian and really helped me step onto the path of being more thoughtful about "non useful" people. Or I guess maybe we should call them less exploitable people.
I think it was Greg Giraldo - it was for me anyway. He said the same about footage of Katrina victims stealing beer in one of his albums, Good Day to Cross a River (he probably said it in other albums and specials, but that is the one I have). There is a whole lot more he says, but I think I'll just put the biggest part of it below:
"'Can you believe they're stealing beer at a time like this?' F^^^ YEAH! Yeah, I can believe it! Of course I can believe it! If I was dirt-poor and I was left behind in a major American city, and I had to doggy-paddle through sewage to find a roof to sleep on, I might wanna get f^^^ed up! I really might want to! You know what I mean? I might want to get a bit of a buzz going in that situation! A little free beer might seem like a good idea when all my sh^t was underwater!"
Half the people that are homeless have jobs, these people are not less exploitable, they are or were over exploited.
@@kuriadams9138 Even the ones who don't have a job literally have the best work ethic when it comes to stealing and surviving. These are driven people who were failed by a system who didn't recognize their talents
hahah
also
yet large obscene salaries, trickle down economy, and tax breaks seem to make sense for CEOs and such so they can spend it on girlfriends that don't need it
I have never thought this black and white about them, I just hate the ones begging for shit like I could miss that money. If I had to give everyone single one of them a euro I’d be just as broke as them. I often come across the same guy who never begs or asks for stuff so I always just give him some drink or snack and talk a bit and move on
"Don't give that person money, they'll just buy drugs/booze" in Canada is often specifically targeted at Indigenous people, whether they're unhoused or not. It's really fucking gross.
Same goes for Alaska, but it's rampant here
My response to this is always, ok, maybe they will. But, they gotta drink water and eat food eventually or they’re gonna die. They’ll eventually have to spend that money on something that isn’t booze eventually.
My response is usually "that's all I'd do with the same money, and they could use it more than I could". That's if I acknowledge their bullshit at all. I don't suffer stupid well, and I happily wear my contempt on my sleeve.
I don't usually hear those responses more than once, one way or another.
And yet the eskimos (Inuit) survived in the bitter cold of the far north with zero money and zero modern technology for what might be over 10,000 years, if not MUCH longer than that. They did it with nothing but their own brainpower and their most important resource: Snow!
@nystria_
In most cases it’s sensible. It sucks how many people panhandle to buy drugs.
I have actually benefited from this. So, when I was in the Army I purchased a pistol with custom engraving that commemorated my deployment (had unit insignia and OIF dates engraved on the slide). I considered it a keepsake; never bought rounds for it, never fired it. When I got out of the Army I moved back to my home state, a very blue state with fairly strict gun laws. I spent years neglecting jumping through the paperwork hoops to get properly licensed to keep that firearm. Victimless crime. Anyway, one day I was in a bad roommate situation; police got involved, I ended up getting an emergency restraining order on one of the folks I was living with, bad time all around. I surrendered the weapon into police custody because I was worried that one of my roommates would try to steal it from me while I was at work (they were paranoid, I figured they'd justify it to themselves as a theft in the name of self defense). Anyway, I was informed that the magazines the weapon came with were classified as high capacity in my state, and that I should expect a summons in the mail about being arraigned on felony firearms charges. Now, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I was told that, as I had no idea how many rounds the mags could hold. Anyway, after several months and a small number of court dates, my public defender and the prosecutor arrived at a deal where the felony charges would be dropped down to misdemeanor unlicensed possession, at which point a piece of legislation aimed at benefiting the veteran community would kick in, and that so long as I kept my nose clean for the next 12 months those charges would go the way of the dodo. Which is exactly what happened.
Now, if I wasn't a veteran and I was an unemployed member of a minority that lived in a bad neighborhood that had a weapon for self defense? Minimum sentence for felony possession of a high capacity magazine is 30 months, max is 10 years; I might still be in prison (the whole fiasco went down in 2017, and the weapon came with 2 mags, so I could've theoretically gotten two charges and been sentenced to up to 20 years). So, yeah, the fact that I'm a veteran made me, from a legal standpoint, more "deserving" of leniency. That I'm also white and was working two jobs at the time probably helped. Now, would throwing me into prison until I was in my 60s done any good for society? Or me? Off hand, I'd say no. Would throwing some 20 year old minority kid from a bad neighborhood in prison for what are arguably his most productive years benefit society or him any? I'd also say likely not. However, we live in a society that is willing to spend more than twice the resources on spiteful retribution than we are willing to devote to helping people reform themselves.
Your society definitely would not spend any resources without anticipated margin, especially double that amount solely out of spite. A guy incarcerated for 20 years would produce so much profit as a literal slave while getting paid (if paid at all) 10-20 times less than minimum, less than you, the happy veteran.
The unfortunate reality is that people operate on how compelling an idea is, as opposed to what would actually solve the problem. The idea of someone being "deserving" is compelling, but it clearly isn't practical for building a better society because it ignores the nuances of how individuals operate.
Beautifully put. Nothing to add to this
"You think ideas spread because they're good? No, they spread because people like them."
I'm not sure who said it, but one quip that's stuck with me about American culture (and specifically means-testing) is "we will gladly pay $5 to make sure that $1 doesn't go toward someone who doesn't deserve it."
Great video!
Yep, same mindset that uses so many resources and so much labor to screw over minority groups, even if it screws those supporting said policies.
It's why the Welfare Queen mythos has persisted.
“For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.”
-Ursula K. Le Guin, The Dispossessed
LeGuin was incredible.
I've also heard this quip in the form of this quote :
“The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of whom will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn’t even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it.”
...they have _a _*_BOX??!?_*
Wow. You're such a good person for not being the bad guy you just described. I'm so glad that you're a good person with a bigger brain the the bad homeless people who deserve it for being racist and homophobic.
Agreed. I realized in middle school that people will put up with an unbelievable amount of bs as long as they can see that someone else has it even worse.
When I lived in a city I’d always give a few dollars to people who came up and asked. And when I moved out, an unhoused man helped me load some heavy items. It really made my heart hurt when he thanked me multiple times just for trusting him. I gave him $50. But the few times when I retell that story I’ve learned to lower the amount to $10 or less, because people shame me for what I did. It’s awful and I hate it. Yes, I know that man could have been shedding crocodile tears to scam me for drug money, and I just enabled an addict. But what if he wasn’t? And even if he was, does that make him any less deserving of pay for helping me? I don’t know the answer. All I know is that I can’t recall the memory now without being conflicted, and I think that sucks.
Richard, if you’re out there, I truly hope that money helped you in a positive way. And thank you for making me feel appreciated and valued, at a time when no one else in my life did. Even if it was actually all a scam.
The thing that no one really says aloud is that poor people do need money.
And whatever "lies" they may or may not fabricate will be cause they learned the "truth" does not grant them access to mercy, decency, or a meal.
Middle class people will buy wine and smoke weed with their job money - but if a poor person does it suddenly the person giving them the money has been "scammed".
Do middle class folks feel their employers are getting scammed?
And Rich folk... they'll literally siphon money away from everyone else, no matter what you thought that dollar was going to - it winds up with them. They will lie, refuse any taxation, and cut corners and cut wages...
But how often do we talk about them as scammers? As leeches?
So in the end what people need to ask themself is: why do they deserve access to a poor stranger's truth when they won't respect that truth to begin with.
You tell those people to fuck right off. Its your money
The thing is, if that guy really was trying to scam you, he'd ask for the dollar amount, pressure you into that desired dollar amount, or specify a need that implies said dollar amount. Because there are ways in which the "less good" poor people, such as they are, make that seem like something you need to do right now. Especially because there are folks out there who really do need that type of specific dollar amount (which makes it viable for the fleecers to ask for the dollar amount outright). And in areas where that trick doesn't work, the actual less-than-honest people will do tricks akin to Munchausen's by proxy, or some other blatant thing adjacent to legitimate needs that people have in their area.
That guy you helped didn't do any of that. He did a little work for you and was moved to tears by the fact that you trusted him. I'd say that sounds like whatever he needed was something he really needed, right now. And if that was drug money - yes, using that as a rationale for not giving the money can be a Band-Aid solution for your own personal boundaries if you have trouble enforcing them (since anyone can feel free to not want to fund certain things if they want to) but sometimes people might need something, anything, as an escape, even if that is drugs. And you were okay with the possibility that it might be drug money. So there's no reason why anyone should shame you.
You shouldn't feel conflicted. One thing I've noticed whenever I give money to someone who asks if I can spare any is that people will inevitably tell me, "If you do that every time, you'll run out of money yourself." Well, I do it every time, and I've still not run out of money.
A buddy of mine, who considers himself a liberal Democrat, CONSTANTLY moans about people mooching off the system and thinks the police can do no wrong ("Well maybe those people wouldn't have gotten hurt if they just did what they were told!"). He thinks he's always the victim and that everyone is out to steal from him personally. This guy is also very well-to-do, a landlord, and a business owner.
that scans
We live in a one-party state
Landlords are the worst!
@@MichelleHell Landleech.
@@skaldlouiscyphre2453 ya, that's what landlords are. They violate the most basic of free market principles. Sell your property outright, or violate the free market. Landlords have no ethos.
Speaking of 'low-use', from an article I just read about the film "Downwind" (regarding victims of nuclear testing): “The government knowingly exposed people, what they called ‘low-use’ segments of the population - Native Americans and Mormon families - in government documents,” said Mark Shapiro, the film’s co-director. “Those are groups that roll with [things], they don’t tend to raise a ruckus.”. When push comes to shove, though, they consider most of us 'low-use'. Just a bit easier to disguise the dirty deeds when the fallout and cancer is spread out across a huge swath of land called the US of A.
yeeeeeeesh
I can't remember who it was but once on this topic they said something to the effect of: 'For any system that gives money to people you're going to have people who cheat the system. It's unavoidable. The question you should then be asking is: How many of those people are you willing to tolerate before you pull the plug on the whole thing? How many people are you willing to let starve so you can prevent a cheater from getting a free lunch?' And I've found that a useful way of framing things.
Even I, from a small insignificant central European country, can relate to everything. The U.S. isn't the only country suffering from all this. I have also considered people do be undeserving of things before and, especially in my younger years, I definitely agreed with many conservative things. The idea of no prison and housing the homeless for free seemed fairly illogical or dumb to me. But now, close to 40, I know better. I try to help as much as I can. When I see a homeless person I give them a little bit of money and what they do with it isn't really my concern. I just do what I can with my limited financial abilities. And compassion costs nothing.
Giving spare change to the homeless as you encounter them is a kind and noble thing to do. But what is wrong with appropriating the money from your budget you could hand out to those on the street, and donating it (as well as volunteering at) institutions such as homeless shelters and food banks in order to help those in need?
@@wyattbailey7620 Institutions aren't always the most efficient way to help people, especially where homeless services are concerned. Shelters have limited beds and spotty security. Food banks have rules about who can recieve food and how. If you give a bit of cash directly to a homeless person who has just asked you for cash, they get to use it to address whatever THEIR most pressing need is. I've known people who flounce by homeless people, telling them they gave to a soup kitchen. But that puts extra burden on that person to go find the soup kitchen, and triple pressure on someone who just wanted to use that money to get some damn tampons.
Volunteering is great; don't get me wrong. But it's not enough at the end of the day. There are a wide variety of services available, but not enough services and not enough access.
@@wyattbailey7620 Speaking as someone who on occasion has cause to need a hand from their community from time to time, cash helps the most. Homeless shelters and food banks are all well and good don't get me wrong, but money spends and I cant pay my rent or buy new shoes or a new pack, etc without hard currency and those resources are often stretched thin as hell when they are available at all.
Ten or twenty bucks can make a big difference sometimes, and everyone has to do what they can so donating is great too, but for real, a handful of cash is far more helpful on an individual level and I guess it's just a matter of whether you want to help the person in front of you or some theoretical group to an unknown and probably immeasurable degree.
So, y'know.......just do what y'all can? Either one is fine, just keep yelling at city council and state legislatures while you do it.
Everyone I know who's been homeless has universally told me that shelters suck. That's where you go to get robbed, raped, and infected with covid or whatever else is floating around. There's a reason so many people opt for tents under a bridge instead.
I work in Oakland CA and having conversation around the unhoused population is super frustrating because people as so unaware of the extent to which they are brainwashed by the "deserving poor" ideology. Sure ok, that dude is unhoused and has massive trauma to recover from before he can function within society's " normal parameters" (TM), but not doing anything because he "must've done something to deserve it" is perverse.
Reminds me of a theory I made up, that the difference between the political left and right lies in how they answer the question "What's worse, someone getting something they don't deserve, or someone who deserves something not getting it?" Conservatives seem terrified of the thought of someone getting something they don't deserve, while giving almost no thought to all the people who deserve better.
It's also a matter of what it means to be "deserving" in the first place. To the right, people only deserve what they contribute. You only only get out what you put in. If you aren't producing any value, you don't deserve anything, not even food on your plate or a roof over your head.
To the left, people deserve what they need. Are you hungry? Then you deserve food. Are you cold and wet? Then you deserve shelter. Before you can even think of someone's productivity, you need to make sure their needs are met. Once they're stable, then they can start being productive, as opposed to the other way around.
I had an argument about this recently, the guy claimed if the parents couldn’t afford .30 cents to feed their kids a PB&J then they didn’t deserve to be parents. And no one would feed his kids so why should he feed others. I came in with telling him if I wanted to join the workforce I legally could receive a sub minimum wage of .15 cents an hr in my state due to my disability. It would take me two hrs of work to afford that, and you cannot just buy a .30 cent PB&J you have to buy the ingredients in bulk to get that price. I don’t have kids, but I would be willing to pay higher taxes to pay for a kid’s school lunch, and I can and do participate in charity to move excess food to food drives. So I am that someone who would feed his kids. He thought I would raise taxes because I don’t pay any. I believe his word choice was ‘Do I believe a disabled, unemployed, Chinese woman pays taxes, no’. Jokes on him though, I’m Black, queer, I have two degrees (no student debt), and an atheist to boot, and I told him three times by this point I was wealthy enough to choose unemployment over a .15 cent wage (because I know my work is worth more than that) due to inheritance, inheritance I pay taxes on and which disqualified me from collecting disability. I even told him I was arguing from a place of privilege. Unfortunately, you can’t take the racism, ableism, sexism, and religious discrimination out of this discussion on who ‘deserves’ aid.
This is core to conservative thinking. Worst part is that so many liberals agree with it. In Germany, the harshest reduction to welfare spending was done under the social democrats. Now a fifth of German children live in poverty and we managed to go from the European country with the highest wages to the one with the lowest wages. Rethinking is only slowly coming around, 20 years later.
Similar development in Sweden, everything from education to public transportation now has to justify its own existence not by being a public good but by being profitable.
Neoliberalism, it's infectious.
In that regard, the EU and the euro have been an unmitigated disaster for the south of Europe. I still remember how certain german media portrayed us as lazy freeloaders that used "german tax money" to live a life of luxury.
The Maastricht treaty put in place a system of fiscal rules that are basically perpetual austerity enforced on the entire continent. Combined with how disfunctional the euro is, it's the perfect recipe for crisis.
I don't want to go in a rant about how fiat money works and why the "taxes fund spending" is bullshit but really, every country needs its own currency
liberals are conservatives. conservation is maintaining capitalism, which is what liberalism is all about
I'm willing to bet most of those poor "German" children are from Turkey, Syria, and the like.
This is so interesting and really puts to words something i've struggled against with people my entire life. Its probably because im autistic that made me out of step with this, but the idea of "deserving" things has always been baffling to me from jump. It has never, ever made sense to me that someone in crisis deserves what happens to them. It has never made sense to me to desire revenge.
Like i'm an abuse and r*pe survivor, its not that i dont understand the impulse for retribution, or thinking some people have done too much harm to deserve another chance. B but even then...i'v3 always had this nagging doubt and discomfort with that too. What makes me the arbiter of what someone Deserves as punishment? Who does, really, besides the person(s) who were harmed? And even then, what is motivating their choices???
It also manifests in this deep...envy people have, the hatred. They feel a certain person or group dont deserve the good thing they have that THEY don't have. Like seeing a young black family move into the suburbs, and being almost fanatically obsessed with monitoring them for "bad" behavior to prove that they really DONT deserve what they have. Its horrorifying
Also...i really appreciate your final notes on this. You know this bc i talk about it on twitter all the time, but even before i had long covid, organizing was a nightmare for people with chronic pain conditions, and like. The fact that online activism is so disapared actively makes people unable to organize irl much less likely to get involved! It matters we make our spaces and movements accessible, but we also need to keep an open mind to how thats not the only way to do thinga, and sometimes not even the most effective way!
The mask think has been the most personally hurtful to me. Its such a good way to signal that you don't care if you get sick, or the people around you get sick, or that there are people who getting sick will disable or kill them. And that shouldnt be acceptable in leftist spaces.
#MedicareForAll!
That's been my thing for a few years now. It'll catch on! Good for you doing your thing!
"The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, is getting something they do not deserve."
Yup. Ain't that America?
I had to try to get over that fear myself, particularly with people at my working class level or lower. I tend to think that the ways our govt and schools have gotten worse is because of this fear...the boomers particularly...the ones who had certain safety nets in place when they grew up and found some level of comfort and success, then when future generations came up, it was a bunch of "i'm not putting my tax dollars towards that" and "it wasn't like that when I grew up", and so on and so forth. But especially looking down on poor folks, or type casting them all as scammers faking it and refusing to get work. It's quite unfortunate.
And the "unworthy" mindset is another beast, and it's not just how we go about in dealing out 'rewards' or resources, but even belonging, community, love, etc. I could type a few paragraphs about community, as I know a lot of my struggles in the queer community is drawn from my perceived lack of worth or usefulness. But I'll spare it.
Good to see you again.
As someone with lupus and a chronic back injury... i can say I've spent more money since being disabled and poor than when i was healthy and working... but many see it as laziness, even though my insurance is $748 a month and $2179 for my auto immune biologics medications every 4 weeks as well. But my income is 10k too much to qualify for assistance of any sort... even though 2k a month ìts pre expense income they count...so on paper it looks like im doing okay
Even I have to stop and examine my own thoughts of who is deserving of what, and I’m house-bound with agoraphobia and trying to scrape by on disability due to multiple chronic illnesses. It’s a tough mindset to work out of, for sure! Thankfully there’s a number of us out there willing to grapple with our first reactions to situations/information. I just hope that in the future many more will join us.
And another thing!! If we’re going to start talking about who “deserves” what, tell me how a single CEO riding the gilded coattails of family wealth “deserves” an astronomically huge paycheck. If they wanna play the “who deserves what” game, they better be careful about that glasshouse and oh-so-many stones. See what you’ve done, TD Dad?l Now I’m riled! 😂
100%
My dad told me (his daughter that has no real choice but to continue living at home) and my aunt and uncle (who were at the time homeless and living with us while being senior citizens working for $7.25 hr) that we didn't deserve a living wage because we didn't own a house and therefore shouldn't get a say...idk how that makes sense either
I think the background of so much of the normalized cruelty and schadenfreude in our country is that we are hurting, we feel fragile and vulnerable, and we maintain our egos by making them feel smaller...just as everyone else is maintaining own fragile ego by making us feel smaller. A very vicious feedback loop, very much akin to the "I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat" dilemma.
I knew this would be good.
Yes, I've been undeserving most of my life. After all, no one can see CPTSD, brain damage, an herniated disc, or eye from the outside.
I kept trying. Finally, a little over 10 years ago, I found my way into a program that has been helping me.
When I tell people about the help I receive they say, "Well, you deserve it."
I smile politely and say thank you. But, I'm sad inside, thinking about all the people, like myself, with invisible problems.
A few years ago I started leaving hashtags such as
#MedicareForAll in news channels on RUclips. I figure if I'd had access to consistent, uninterrupted healthcare when I was say, 20, which was the earliest time PTSD could have been diagnosed, I might not be disabled now.
Some people say rude things. (But, I've heard just about all of them already.)
Sometimes people listen. That's what makes it worth it.
I tell people I'm doing this for the 20 year olds with problems that may be invisible, so they can have help. I'm happy to be alive, but it didn't have to be this hard.
I've been thinking about similar ideas recently after reading Alfie Kohn's book Punished by Rewards. He argues (I think quite persuasively) that both punishments and rewards are at best ineffective, and at worst counterproductive, in promoting desired behaviour. He presents considerable research showing as much and puts forward arguments as to why that might be. Even if poor parents should be solely responsible for caring for their children, neither punishments nor rewards would be a good way of promoting this. Of course, if we don't believe they should, any such systems become not only ineffective but cruel.
What does Kohn propose for motivating the behavior that a parent, friend, or government would prefer?
@@JaniceLHz firstly, he suggests that we need to be clear that motivation is not just one thing. There's extrinsic motivation and intrinsic motivation, and extrinsic motivation always comes at the expense of intrinsic motivation.
It then follows that we should seek to tap into intrinsic motivation since it is always the stronger and more sustainable of the two. He suggests building a strong relationship built on respect and open communication. He suggests we explain the reasons for the desired behaviour (and consider if it's really necessary, or if we're simply seeking compliance without justification). Further, he argues for setting goals, etc. together rather than imposing them from on high.
This is necessarily a condensed and incomplete version of his argument. If you're really interested in getting to know it and the research that underpins it, I'd really recommend reading his book. He does a much better job setting it forth than I ever could do justice to in a RUclips comment.
Thank you for mentioning this book, so I could find and read it.
@@noma5050 you're very welcome!
I just want to say as a musician, I understand how hard describing music can be, and I always appreciate how evocative your descriptions of the music is in the closed captions!
it's always kinda fun to figure out a concise way to capture the spirit
I’ve never had issues understanding what @ThatDangDad says, so I hadn’t turned the captions on until this was mentioned.
Thank you for writing your own captions!! Way too many don’t (and I understand why, because I know from experience that it’s quite the effort to do so), so I truly appreciate that you do.
I’ll be using your captions from now on so that I can also appreciate the music descriptions. 😊
(May I ask one thing, though? Would you split up the music descriptions into smaller, more equal length lines, so they’re more easily read?)
It's always worth doing some self-reflection about what we believe and why, and whether it's consistent with our other ideals.
Some years ago, I realized that my beliefs about disability were not internally consistent. I had what I thought at the time were "reasonable" views, because they were a more sympathetic - but not radical - version of the standard social view of disability. But I knew that it wasn't consistent with my other beliefs and that my beliefs about disability ultimately were dehumanizing. So I decided to immerse myself in disability politics. I followed a bunch of disability advocates on social media and read many articles. I think my opinions were most affected through proximity and familiarity, but that was what was needed to displace my earlier opinions, which had been formed by familiarity with social norms and the ways abled people are taught to distance themselves from disabled people. Even the most rational person (which I can't claim to be) will have some irrational beliefs and sometimes you just have to sit through the discomfort if you want to change.
I did also learn a lot about the rationales behind disability activism, which is also a critical part of that change. But it's often been noted that you can't reason someone out of a position they didn't come to through reason, and I think that makes familiarity and emotional significance very important to the first steps of changing your mind. It is possible to emotionally invest yourself in something wrong, which is why emotion alone is dangerous and needs to be supported with reason, but emotion is typically a stronger motivator for change.
Thank you for making that connection with prison abolition, because that's something I have been needing to explore more. I believe that prisons do more harm than good, but I still have some uncomfortable cognitive dissonance about it because of my emotional investment in punitive "justice". I appreciate the call to reflection, and I think it's time for me to get invested in this topic.
You do some great stuff. Thank you for being you. 💯
This was excellent. I now understand what exactly it is I am fighting against.
I had trouble treating the actual nazis that came through my practice. I had to keep reminding myself to be fair and compassionate when treating a patient with insignia all over their skin, so I think I know what you're talking about.
Cringe. Tolerance is a 2 way street, people who don't tolerate other don't deserve it themselves.
@@jeffersonclippership2588 Ain't like that when you're a medical professional and observe your oath. You don't get to make that choice anymore. That's one of the arguments against allowing people to refuse care to (insert marginalized group here) - medicine is supposed to be as much above that garbage as it can be. And I'm fully aware that it can never be fully 'above' it.
@@jeffersonclippership2588 um, just because someone is a shitty person doesnt mean they deserve to get sick and possibly die from a lack of medical care? like, punch a nazi, punch every nazi in their face and break a few teeth for good measure but also don't let a fellow human spread around then die from easily treated illnesses.
@@jeffersonclippership2588 If you're a medical professional you have to treat everyone
@@jeffersonclippership2588 paradox of tolerance
Excellent video, left me with many thoughts about accessibility in organization!
lets go dad! thank you for helping me grow
Thanks for this video. I’ve been trying to explain to others how the concept of “deserve” is highly toxic in our political culture and this video explains it better than I’ve been able to.
I think I came to this realization a few years ago; that the many standards by which we decide who is "deserving" or not are almost universally arbitrary.
The first point you made about how fearful people can be that someone "undeserving" will get something they haven't earned wasn't new to me, but the secondary explanation about who is "useful" or not was the first time I'd heard that articulated. That's part of the problem when we talk about problems in society and how we might go about fixing them: we need to find a way to communicate with EVERYONE in a way they can understand and recognize something they're probably familiar with already but unfortunately, sometimes the people we need to reach the most have decided that they don't want to listen. It's terrifying, quite frankly. At any rate, I don't know why the YT algorithm recommended your video to me, but I'm very glad it did :)
thanks TDD that was a perfectly articulated insight. As a behavioral scientist, I'm always looking for these brief but striking forced perspective taking prompts to share with people who are not aware of how strongly our implicit biases dominate our behavior because we aren't even capable of viewing them plainly. Really great essay.
thank you for saying so!
oh i have lots to say here!
Regarding police abolition, i find a lot of people equate their feelings with their beliefs. for these people they are often one in the same. for me that is not the case for a lot of fundamental beliefs i hold! do i hate child molesters and want them to rot in prison forever? yeah! do i think that's how we ought to treat them in the real world? no! both thoughts can exist at the same time!
i've found myself marking some people undeserving plenty of times, it's part of unlearning what i've been taught. one that stands out to me though, and something that might trip up other folks like me, is pet ownership. that it's a luxury you only deserve if you have the money for expensive vets bills. what this says between the lines is that poor people don't deserve the companionship and love from an animal, something very human and beneficial to mental health. that's a pretty cruel thing to think, huh? that realization hit me really hard, considering i volunteer regularly with a cat rescue. this belief also holds back rescue efforts! look at flatbush cats; they're setting up a low-cost spay and neuter clinic not just to help people, but to help get the cat population down. cruelty only holds us back.
and finally: i moved into an assisted living apartment building last year. it's the exact level of help i need, i get a spacious one-bedroom apartment all to myself for a mere $650 a month, and i (mostly my mom tbh) even wrangled the stupid ministry who tried to take my benefits away for no reason when i moved in. i'm financially stable and so, so much happier here than i was living with my mom.
but...do i deserve it? i could continue living with my mom, she's not abusive or anything, and she's well-off with plenty of space. or i could probably manage to rent a small room somewhere and have my mom help me with some of the stuff i can't do. there are only 40 beds for physically disabled people under 55 who need moderate assistance (aka not long term/nursing home care) for the few million people who live here. i don't even use a lot of the help offered in my building because i don't need it. i passed the housing assessment and didn't lie to get here, not even by omission, but i still feel like i'm undeserving. it's not my fault that the government won't provide more homes like mine, but it still nags at me that i shouldn't have taken this offer.
don't worry, i'm not about to move out of here in shame or anything, but it's a guilt that's been hard to shake. i deserve happiness and accommodation, it just sucks that it means taking a bed away from someone else.
hope you enjoyed my wall of text haha! thanks for reading
thanks for writing!
People go on living, after being othered. Even when they are othered for "good reason," like an assaulter being put in prison. We need to think very hard about whether the ways we force them to live after that point actually make the world a better place.
I have definitely noticed a tendency to very quickly judge who deserves a second chance, and it's something I've actively tried to avoid participating in. It's so easy to move from "they did something bad, so they are a bad person" to "they did something I don't understand, so they are a bad person". And once the "bad person" judgement is made, taking the time to understand that thing is seen as unnecessary or downright dangerous.
Thank you for this food for thought. I have long held the belief that everyone is deserving of redemption. That every human has inherent value and worth. That no act, however heinous, ought deprive a person from basic dignity and care.
I have been in some pretty low places myself, and have done some rather regrettable things (because of some of the reasons you mentioned), and thanks to those who cared enough to show me the goodness in humanity, some decency, and help me find a safe place to begin to work on repairing the damage inside myself and then in my life, I have been able to have a second, third and even fourth shot at a life that for me is worth living.
In those places I have found humans who have fallen far deeper into the places of despair than me, and who have come out shining a whole lot brighter than one could possibly imagine. So none of that part was news to me.
The part that really scrambled me was the reminder that even when fighting for accessibility in spaces and to resources for myself and those I have come to care about, it’s so easy to forget how many people get left out. How many people are still not given a seat at the table, as it were, just because it’s “too hard” to make sure they can even get to the dang table.
It feels really yucky when even small concessions can’t be made for others. But it’s a gut punch to try to wrap my head around the complex multitudes of ways we collectively are failing each other that are only obvious when you’re the one being repeatedly let down and forgotten.
Thanks for helping expand my awareness. I commit to redoubling my efforts, to the best of my own abilities, even if sometimes that means only continuing the chain to spread awareness to others so that we can help each other find more ways to get to the table.
The concept of "What people deserve" is the flip side of the belief in free will. If you "do evil" you *deserve to be punished". And if you do "good work" you "deserve to be rewarded" (paid).
Anything outside of that framework is considered a moral hazard.
It is indeed an unconscious background impulse that is holding society back.
I am consistently blown away by your way of putting such important things into such elegant and powerful words without losing any of the punch - especially in terms of me still being able to feel comfortable and even productive with sharing your video essays (not to compare doing so in any way to ACTUAL activism/education/agitation, of course) with both other Leftists AND excruciatingly conservative people. Your talent, grace, and tact remain almost unparalleled, and I'm all the happier knowing your relaying of messages is getting out there. An infinitesimal few can do what you do, and what you do gives me something to aspire to as someone who is not one of those few. Thank you.
This was freaking amazing. Thank you for making this
i was talking to my dad about this (we live in the UK) and he was going on about how, when he was younger and we were under a Labour government, he had a friend who didn't work because the dole paid better than even my dad was making as a junior solicitor, and he used to see people queueing round the block. we went back and forth for a while, and i told him that that would be preferable to the scenario now when there are lots of people, like my partner's mother, who can't get the help they need because of the Tories tightening restrictions on who can get help and how much help they can get. he said we were working on two different value systems and i, being frustrated, said that i value life over productivity. he said "i don't", not when his taxes are going towards someone sitting on their backside all day (he said the last bit too, but i'm not so sure about the exact wording as i write this 10 minutes later, whereas two horrible words are much easier to remember word-for-word).
I think something worth remembering is that society often uses the treatment of the worst people within it as a template for everybody. The lower we set the bar of acceptable treatment, the further you have the ability to fall if society no longer considers you to be desirable.
It's always easier to come up with excuses as to why your personal least favorite crime is morally equivalent to murder then it is to explain, in detail, why every action you take towards a murderer is necessary and justified. We often don't feel the need to explain why we treat people of certain way if they are a bad person, but why we treat people a certain way is arguably as important as how we treat them.
thankyou for verbally recognising that immunocompromised people not only exist but, in this context, are disabled and can be seriously hurt by casual bare-faced gatherings
Immunocompromised here to tell you masks don’t work.
An invisible disability is such a strange situation also...
Deserving but it could go either way with people .. some don't pry, assume that whoever is in charge has done their job and disability means disabled... So they just accept.
The other way... Suddenly they look at you differently and get quiet.. beware if pushed these ones will spew ridiculousness. 😅
Thanks Phil. I have been trying to articulate my problem with this mindset for literal decades, and it's so hard, because of the difficulty of combating the simplistic narrative of "people should earn their way." So, OK, fine. I think working hard to support my community is good too. And, yes, supporting someone who takes advantage of that generosity feels shitty. But how do you map that shit onto the child of addicts (for example)? That kid didn't exactly earn their lot in life _now did they._ But there's no way to slot that kid into our narrative until they literally levitate through the combined forces of sheer willpower and golden bootstraps, so I sure do hope their genes have some answers for them. Gah.
I'm so glad I found you! The way you can put into words my jiggly thoughts. And the way you were looking at that fly made me laugh😂 Have some norwegian hugs❤
heck yeah, best kind of hugs!!
Insightful as ever. For the algorithms.
You absolutely nailed the central issue of why America is in peril.
Thank you for including disabled people in this video, we are often overlooked in the grand scheme of leftist politics; and bonus points for mentioning chronic fatigue. I hope that one day, our culture is able to view criminals in a more empathetic frame. I do believe the death penalty can occasionally apply in extreme cases, that it can have an aim beyond just punishing criminals, but besides those few outliers our go-to should be restorative justice and not punitive justice.
I feel this is one of those topics that people may not recognize within themselves right away, but having pointed it out to them with examples will allow them to see it more clearly in the future, in themselves and otherwise.
Glad to see another upload! Love your vids and I hope you keep at it, the quality of your content is far above the credit you receive for it
the rage in your eyes at the fly lol. felt that. sitting in a cafe with 2 of them buzzing around me for 2 hours lol.
Yep. I encounter this all the time talking to conservatives
This video have me the confidence boost I need to give my mum a voice ❤
"Getting more than they deserve" This is funny (/s), bc it's only used in terms of money or 'benefits'. When it's about health or misery, in the mind of the same ppl, "they get exactly what they deserve" (some type of prosperity gospel thinking, I guess). It's always easier to make up the bills from somebody else, bc you only see part of their situation, thus only part of their real costs/bills. But, for those taking part in it, i guess it feels good to judge. 🤷🏼♀️
I may sound cross, guess I am. You hit kind of some sore spots.
Good vid though.
Love 💜💞
As an immunocompromised, ambulatory chair user with chronic fatigue (who used to be a boots on the ground protestor), thank you for bringing up those points at the end. I felt seen.
We can speak about the top of the hill, the "deserving".
We can speak about the bottom of the hill, the "undeserving".
We always forget about that steep slippery slope in between, where "more deserving" and "less deserving" dwell... where all biases reveal themselves, a paradigm of judgments and senses of justice/right/proper/correct.
4:50 - you know this, I know this, and it's just obviously logically the case - but when I've said this in response to posts decrying those awful homeless people and claiming that providing more housing for poor folks will _only bring more of them_ I've gotten [citation needed] in response.
If anyone is willing to provide search terms for the results of policies where they actually did simply give people housing (was one in Salt Lake City?), I would use those to bookmark for when I have those discussions and need the citations.
@@JaniceLHz try "Housing First results"
Really good video and well-covered, Phil. You can apply this same logic to so many topics that are central to our politics. Immigration is an area where this is directly relevant. It's clear to me that the "illegal/legal" framing that so often crops up is another example of an undeserving/deserving dichotomy, with, in my mind, no moral justification for treating the individuals and families in either group differently.
I don’t watch you all the time but when I do tune in…shit hits like a truck. Appreciate you continuing to put this content out there.
As someone who begged on a corner and slept rough for several months, I just want to say that even the smallest moment of humanization is a blessing. Asking for money is hard. Being treated as less than human for having to do it is awful. If you have nothing to give, please smile at the person begging, and tell them you can't right now.
And for the love of all that is holy, don't waste your money on buying people asking for money a sandwich instead. So what if they are gonna buy drugs with it? What difference does it make to you once you have handed over the money and moved on? But I have been given sandwiches with things I am allergic to, yelled at for asking if an allergen was present, or lied to about it... I have been given food moments after eating, and unable to bring the food with me thus making me feel guilty for it going to waste... Just give people what they ask for, or give them nothing at all and apologize for being unable to help -- whatever the reason, even if you feel really strongly about not wanting to enable addiction.
Oh, and a note on addiction -- getting money from strangers is not quite how enabling works. An enabler is a person who consistently gives money to a loved one or acquaintance, believing that they are reducing that person's suffering. And the person who is suffering is the enabler -- not the addict. While, sure, an addict knowing they can always convince that one person to buy them drugs emboldens their manipulations and could potentially lead to escalating use when the money is plentiful, the issue is that the enabler is getting warped by their relationship to the drug abuser. Their kindness is being twisted, they are being manipulated, they are being gaslit, and they often lose themselves in the relationship and lose the money they need to build themselves a happy and stable life. Putting yourself in the mental space that you can stop someone's addiction by denying them money, or a roof over their head, or whatever else is manipulative, controlling, and wrong, and it doesn't make you an enabler, it makes you a busybody.
It's true (at least in my case) that poor in America can get free and cheap things that others have to pay for. But, one way to look at this instead of hating the poor who get those basics for free or cheap, is to think about what if corporations paid their fair share of taxes instead of dodging their tax. If they paid, there would be plenty of surplus so that the middle class could also get those breaks that make life easier.
"But corporations are job creators"
*Corporation tweets about BLM*
"Boycott the woke elitists"
Taxes DO NOT FUND anything, except for state/local taxes. Federal money doesn't work like a household budget.
40 Years Of Seasoned Ugliness finding a 6th Gear. I live in a smallish town in OK and it's just exhausting the effort people will go to be unpleasant to others unlike themselves. Life is exhausting so why make it more so. BTW...the fly struggle is real. As I commented on your last ep. last month 100 mph winds blew thru on Father's Day weekend, and we lost power for 5 days straight from good ol El Nino + Climate Change mambo and it appears the dipterans are having a banner year.
there was a study done on drivers where people wouldn't let other drivers in because of an irrational belief that the other got an advantage over them
I appreciate you putting actual captions, even on release. Thank you!
Another banger!
This dovetails nicely with Innuendo Studios' "Always a bigger fish'".
thanks for this... I often feel like I deserved nothing after every mistakes. like I should be severely punished after I did something wrong, and be barred access from anything that I deemed "fun" or "enjoyable". I sometimes even fall to that mindset whenever I found fault in someone else, tho that part seemed to get better as I grow old. Thank you for pointing this out
Hey, give yourself love, man. Those of us who get up every morning and try again, in spite of any mistakes we've made, deserve some nice. Everyone, everyone, everyone makes mistakes.
I'm autistic. I recently lost my benefits because my parents retired (there's a little more to it than that, but that is the root cause) and even with benefits I was barely surviving. Now I can either become a burden on my friends or just. Give up. I'm working as much as I'm able to already but I'm staring down the fact that I'm considered unworthy of help by the society I live in. It's not a great feeling
So many of America's problems would disappear if working Americans were just paid a decent wage for a change. They are suffering from a half-century of stagnant and declining pay due to voodoo trickle-down Reaganomics which we were promised would lift all boats. It didn't. They are long overdue for a very substantive raise. My understanding is that if pegged to productivity (because “hard work is rewarded”) the minimum wage should be well over $20, and if it went up at the same rate as Wall Street bonuses (hardly work?) it would be over $40. Can you imagine what it would be if it went up at the same rate as CEO compensation? Over 1000%! From BusinessInsider: “The typical full-time salary in America would be $102,000 if wages had kept up with growth - but the economy has failed 90% of workers...”
Don't blame Reagan, blame the 1965 Immigration Reform Act. Real wages have been flat since 1970 because of the constant influx of low wage workers from south of the border. The only time wages started to go up was when Trump was in and started closing off the border. Now Biden has made the problem worse than ever. If you want to see wages go up, close the border.
@@anonygent You are thoughtlessly parroting a propaganda script designed by corporate oligarchs to manipulate working Americans into hating and blaming their fellow citizens rather than those who are actually responsible for their lousy quality of life. My friend, it isn't the Blacks, or the immigrants, or the Jews, or the drag queens, or the Muslims who are responsible for your lousy quality of life. It is the uber-wealthy corporate oligarchs. It is also they who design the propaganda scripts-- like this one you are thoughtlessly parroting-- to make you hate and blame those other groups, rather than those who are your actual enemy. In the immortal words of Lyndon Johnson, "If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." You've been bamboozled.
Oh man, yet again you produce something that makes me feel so *seen* and that packs such a staggering amount of material in under 20 minutes… I honestly don’t know how you do it! I can’t even begin to pull together a coherent, thoughtful comment just yet. I will note that I ran across the “deserving [insert policy/group being discussed here]” idea way back in my guileless youth (roughly late 1970s through mid 80s), so the concept has been in active examination for quite a while, though I couldn’t begin to dredge up any specific source(s) at this point. It’s always had extremely personal relevance to me for multiple reasons from my earliest encounters with the concept.
On a lighter note, the little end bit about the damned fly was delightful. I’ve had a population boom of spiders in my house recently, so lots and lots of them have been captured and released to a less confined location (the backyard). I always wish them luck and advise them to watch out for the birds. I even have a dedicated transport vehicle for them-a small mason jar and thin piece of cardboard 😁🕷️🫙
The unused idea was the way the english justified colonised australua
The english called australia 'terra nullis' as the natives only 'walked over the land' not settled it - it was 'nobodys land' so it wasn't theft for them to colonise it
I wonder if you've ever considered creating a book list you've gotten a lot from. or even something like what you can do on goodreads with shelves for (read, want-to-read, maybe, etc.) or even on LibraryThing, or just a list on a website similar to that on Zoe Baker's personal site
Absolutely excellent work. This topic is so unbelievably complicated. You distilled it very elegantly, if I'm honest.
This shit is so ingrained I still catch myself being thoughtlessly judgemental about vehicles and driver in disabled spaces at the supermarket :(
*CW DISCUSSIONS OF ABUSE*
As someone who was victimized by a person whose parents were wealthy enough to bail him out of jail for various crimes many people would consider unforgivable, I have never really thought about the prison system as an answer to my longing for justice. I still wouldn't feel safe if he was spending the rest of his days in a cell, and I have laughed in the faces of anyone suggesting I should forgive him.
Sometimes I'm curious enough to look at the registries and see if his name is where it should be for the safety of everyone under this corrupt system, but I have never once found it. CPS didn't do its job, and DHS took over, which just enabled him; the 'justice' system failed me and every other victim of his.
I do not wish for the divine judgement of the rich and powerful to side with me and take him down after all these years-- the only thing that can bring me solace is the day he leaves this world. I don't want retaliatory violence to be controlled by the state-- not that he will ever truly have to face his actions-- so if this was a world where I could, I would bring that day I long for closer by my own hand.
I wish for a world in which victims are listened to when such trauma is inflicted. I've struggled with finding a balance between the safety I would feel in having him gone and the realities of marginalized people who are punished by their fellow person and the state. I still can't decide if it's wrong to wish harm upon someone under any context, so I've prefaced or explained in such discussions with people I know personally by saying that my morals are fucked. Even if I do find my feelings on the matter to be justified, such things cannot be openly told to people who do not at least try to understand the pain a victim of child SA feels, so I never go into much detail.
Of course, I think punching fascists and other bigots is okay-- but trying to explain celebrating the death of someone who is not on most people's radars is difficult. Most people seem to agree that p*dos like him deserve 'what's coming', but I've long grown cynical about people saying they want to protect kids. I actively fear right-wingers' direct abuse, but centrists enable them and leftists don't seem to give a shit most of the time. It makes me bitter to have stories like mine ignored on the side that's supposed to care about systemic injustice, as if the custody system doesn't ruin lives via wrong decisions all the time. My abuser (my biological father) should have never been allowed shared custody of me with all the testimonies CPS heard from my family about how dangerous he is. They should've believed my mom and saved us a world of trouble and the cost of therapy for most of my life. This never should've happened to anyone before me, to me, or after me.
Thank you to anyone who read my rambling thoughts. PTSD can be treated with therapy, medication, care, and time. We're gonna be okay.
Utility is overrated. Land should be able to exist without being used by humans. People should be allowed to exist without being "useful" or profitable. There is value outside of what our system considers useful.
People being happy and excited at the Barbie movie = the right is mad that we are happy ugh
Great video!!!
Microcosmically, my father used to do a "using the unused" ditty with me in childhood- mostly by declaring that all the things I was doing or had an interest in doing were undeserving of an expenditure of time- and I should just do whatever he wanted me to do instead.
Anyway, interesting. [Desire to Know More intensifies]
I'm physically disabled and immunocompromised, and I think the thing that popped up most in my mind this entire video is when, during the time period where people were starting to really protest having to wear masks and get the vaccine, I pointed out to my parents that not getting the vaccine and refusing to wear a mask when people like myself exist and would be protected by such measures and are likely to get sick and die when those measures aren't taken seemed callous to me, and that I think it's unfair to keep demanding all the onus to protect ourselves be on us. My parents responded by essentially saying "Well, that's the way it's always been." As if the idea of even attempting to change our society to be friendlier and safer for people like me, their own child, was unthinkable, and that because us having to worry about ourselves and being the acceptable casualties of an illness was how it's always been, that's how it should always be. As if being disabled and immunocompromised makes us inherently undeserving of safety and the chance to live fuller, happier lives, like we might be able to if society worked to accommodate our needs and keep us safe.
I've always known and been aware of the fact that people viewed me and people like me and others as "lesser" and less deserving of resources and inclusion in spaces. I've never felt very welcome in leftist spaces because I often get told that things like just signing petitions aren't enough and I should go to protests and help organize IRL even though IRL spaces are not made particularly safe for or friendly to me. I was EXTREMELY aware, early in the pandemic, of people treating it like COVID wasn't that bad because it only killed the elderly and the disabled, like myself. I remember when I learned about the way my hospital was prioritizing who they would try and save first in the event two people needed a ventilator and saw immediately that anyone who was disabled or immunocompromised was going to be thrown by the wayside if it came to it. I had to be on SSI for a while because of how severely my disabilities were affecting me and I always felt like the pittance you're given for that is a great indicator that the government and society as a whole wishes I just wasn't around, or that at the very least believes I'm not deserving of having even enough money to survive on my own. And I'd experienced other issues with roommates in the past, such as refusals to tell me when they were sick after I directly asked them to as an accommodation for my conditions. But to hear my own parents parrot that rhetoric back at me was probably the most jarring thing I have ever experienced.
I’ve been calling this The Cult of Deservingness.
In the motorcycle community there is a lot of this in the form of the ‘crabs in a bucket’ mentality where people who drive cars don’t want to allow motorcycles to lane split because it is ‘unfair’ to them, even though it demonstrably reduces traffic.
ha! i could've done 30 minutes on just Car Mentality on this. People turn into selfish irrational maniacs in their cars (it's me, i'm People)
i think about this kinda thing a lot. its a process kind of thing. we can so easily go into auto-pilot and fall back into the old habits. it's good to be reminded and to always work on being mindful.
The idea of "deserving" was one of the first and I think most important ideas to evaporate for me when I started wrestling with the idea of determinism.
My brain ground to a complete halt over the thought that women’s bathrooms are being treated this way. Who deserves to pee??
As I finally recovered myself enough to move on, I remembered how exclusion of asexuals from queer spaces is framed as undeserving people taking resources from the real queer people. Exclusionists will argue vehemently for this, despite being unable to provide any compelling examples.
About "deserving" or not punishment a way I like to frame it is "in an ideal world, in YOUR ideal world would this person not exist or would this person simply not have caused harm?"
One of the hardest things about deleting my twitter was losing your follow, because everything you say resonates with me very deeply
well, i still like you :)
I went to parochial school in the 1950's. Some of the nuns teaching us had the vice of being hugely worried that someone somewhere was having fun...
A really great and easily digestible video. Loved it. Keep up the excellent work!
we keep it snackable over here
I have been fascinated with this idea since I realized it was what drives most politics in the Overton window. The obsession with making sure people get 'what they deserve' rather than with how society would best function. No society can healthily function when a large amount of its workers are in bad health due to not being able to afford healthcare and food, for example. Making these things universally accessible is simply a matter of oiling the machine. Whether or not specific parts of the machine morally 'deserve' to be oiled is irrelevant if you actually care about making the machine work.
A) Society is not a machine. B) 90% of the problems are in fact *caused* by government. Expecting the government to fix the problems it caused is an exercise in folly.
Watch this the day it came out and I've been thinking about it since, this is a good one~
And yea I've been. My life is largely a series of getting "bit by this philosophy" as you put it :<
But it's getting to be less terrible, slowly, and I've got some people rly in my corner which helps _a lot_
Thank you so much for this video. I never 'like and subscribe', but I just did. ❤
yesssss
I'm still trying to rid myself fully of this mentality; it's insidiously woven into so much, including the in-group + self-policing vulnerable groups do to each other lest we be "undeserving". My thing now is making that "urge to cop" on anything a flag for self-examination before I do, bc the impulse is so rarely righteous or effective or in keeping with my own ethical framework. I do it with my self-policing & in-group urges, too. I sometimes arrive at the idea of intervening regardless, but at least I got there the best way I know how & checked my agenda + biases & ran it thru my ethics-o-meter & know why I came to think that in that case, rather than knee-jerk dehumanizing. Which is what calling a person "undeserving" really means.
ALS/Lou Gehrigs Disease killed my dad in 2007. When his speech began to slur before he got diagnosed, people he'd known for years thought he was an alcoholic. It's incredible what people will assume of you and your worth even as you are dying of an incurable and untreatable disease.
Really appreciate how frequently you talk on disability because it's so often overlooked.
When talking about what is "useful" it made me think how sometimes this goes beyond passive not providing help as well. Even on the "left" we see people focus on who is "not useful" as an excuse to attack or haraas people.
“Nuance doesn’t scale,” is a nice correlate. Especially for modern life.
I've often framed this to myself as people looking for reasons/excuses not to have to engage/think about/deal with others.