How You Can Support a Loved One Through Cancer | Diane Thomas | TEDxEustis

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  • Опубликовано: 1 янв 2025

Комментарии • 147

  • @carpediem8752
    @carpediem8752 4 года назад +174

    To those who have a family member or a friend with cancer,.just be there, no judgement, no pity, be patient, be kind... Just be there for them.

    • @aletaMuheua
      @aletaMuheua 4 месяца назад

      @@carpediem8752 thank you it's not a easy journey sometimes I cry to god alot but I never show him that I feel pity for him ...my partner is having leukemia

    • @ana-zb7ix
      @ana-zb7ix 3 месяца назад

      Thank you. I’m trying to learn how to act or say or not act or not say for my father. A tough man I saw cry for the first time in my life that I can remember. Today we got bad news that it spread to his bones. And he’s sad, I can see it even though he doesn’t say anything (he won’t, ever) and I don’t know how to act or not act.

  • @WordUnheard
    @WordUnheard 4 года назад +154

    I found out last month that I have a glioma brain tumor. Two weeks ago, I was informed that the biopsy revealed that it is a grade 4 glioblastoma, and that I have a year, at the most. When I first found out I had a brain tumor, with the strong possibility of it being cancerous, my "friends" and family acted all supportive.
    They would tell me, "Oh, we need to get together next week!" or "Do you want to do something (insert day of the week here)?" Time and time again, I would either get an excuse as to why they couldn't meet up with me, or they simply ignored me. I'm dying, and the people I thought were close to me treat me as though I'm already dead.
    I'm not afraid to die. The only thing that scares me is the thought of leaving my baby girl without a dad, and without emotional and financial support. She doesn't deserve to lose her daddy at such a young age. I don't deserve to be treated as if I'm already dead. Most people turn into heartless monsters, when they find out you're dying. If I didn't have my daughter, I would have already killed myself. But I would never do that to her.
    If you know someone with cancer, a simple phone call or an invitation to dinner would mean the world to them. No one with cancer deserves to be shunned and ignored.

    • @sayss4611
      @sayss4611 4 года назад +5

      I am so sorry to know that friends started to avoid you instead of helping

    • @rosehartstudio
      @rosehartstudio 4 года назад +10

      This makes me so sad. I've faced the same with my terminal cancer diagnosis last year. Sending you strength and Angel hugs. 💖💖💖

    • @calebosbourne9677
      @calebosbourne9677 4 года назад +4

      Rosehart Studio prayers for you🙏

    • @rosehartstudio
      @rosehartstudio 4 года назад +7

      @@calebosbourne9677 thank you. My angels are with me and my treatment is working. I'm working within on many things but it tough with so much going on but I'm trying my best as the four agreements recommend and I am desperately trying not to take it personally as well. I think facing englightenment with a full plate is how I'm supposed to roll. 😊💖👼

    • @valerierobertson8303
      @valerierobertson8303 4 года назад +3

      Thank you 🙏 I am sorry your friends are unskilled how to be with your cancer. Much love and prayers.

  • @ohyouresotough0
    @ohyouresotough0 4 года назад +61

    Thank you. As a person battling cancer for the second time we need to have these conversations. ❤️

    • @bayaryan7942
      @bayaryan7942 4 года назад +1

      Cancer? I haven't had a decent fight in a while

    • @ZeeshanAkram1976
      @ZeeshanAkram1976 4 года назад +4

      May the lord keep u in his protection

    • @henryplays6251
      @henryplays6251 3 года назад +1

      For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

    • @Dzanarika1
      @Dzanarika1 2 года назад

      @@henryplays6251 oh, another jesus beater!

  • @vanessadu9216
    @vanessadu9216 Год назад +13

    To all the friends who want to support, do not judge, it is better to just listen, offer helps needed without them asking and give a hug. When I found out my mom has ALL leukemia, my husband tried to comfort me by saying my mom's type of cancer's survival rate is high. I know he had good intention but I feel absolutely isolated when I heard what he said. Cause when you make a judgement like that, I feel you are saying "OK, this is no biggie. So you can handle it on your own". Also, later on I read a paper and found out that my mom's leukemia's survival rate is only 10%( cause she is over 50 years old and has ph+). So do not judge even if you thought it is "good news"! Be patient, be kind, take actions to care, not just sit there and say "Let me know if you needs help".

  • @mynameisshannone
    @mynameisshannone 3 месяца назад +3

    I’m a year and a half out of my stage 3 diagnosis. I struggled most with telling people. I remember the ER doctor telling me I have colon cancer and it was kinda like a bomb had gone off. All I could hear is ringing. I saw his lips moving and I turned to look at my boyfriend. The look on his face. 😢 I remembered not wanting to see that look on my friend and family that I had to tell. I guess just give us some patience. I chose to fight alone because I didn’t want to see that awful, painful look in my loved one’s eyes. You all are angels from the highest heavens. ❤

  • @Just2SistersSeekingJoy
    @Just2SistersSeekingJoy 8 месяцев назад +6

    As a mom of a cancer survivor… I cannot thank you enough for sharing this! Such good information we are working so hard to help others now who have to walk the same walk, thank you for this content!

  • @amyjacquelineg.9541
    @amyjacquelineg.9541 4 года назад +30

    Thank you. Great talk. I’m calling my friend now to ask what day I can bring dinner. And will lay off the medical focus!

  • @Julie-si3hi
    @Julie-si3hi 4 месяца назад +3

    Best talk I've heard as a support to my husband, I learnt a lot from this x the ground still shifting is an explanation that totally makes sense.

  • @heathisul
    @heathisul 5 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you. I struggle a lot with the topic of process in relation to family. I don’t like the conspiracy of silence or the ghosting. I prefer to discuss my cancer and health, it helps me process and I want to advocate everywhere I can.

  • @mooskamoo
    @mooskamoo Месяц назад

    What a great talk and a beautiful woman. My brother was recently diagnosed with brain cancer and it’s so hard to navigate with the family and obviously himself. This really helped.

  • @estoyaqui5386
    @estoyaqui5386 4 года назад +13

    Thank you for sharing your story and your hints of how to approach close ones affected by cancer. Just thank you.

  • @valerierobertson8303
    @valerierobertson8303 4 года назад +10

    Thank you, it is very helpful to know to offer help in a way that will be not overwhelming.

  • @alexandramurphy-l6p
    @alexandramurphy-l6p 5 месяцев назад +1

    This made me feel so much better about my mom going through chemotherapy ❤️ thank you.

  • @nouhabhy3067
    @nouhabhy3067 Месяц назад

    Be patient. Give them options. Treat them for who they are not what they got.

  • @scottelrod1733
    @scottelrod1733 4 года назад +6

    Great talk. Life is always changing and it is awesome to see you thriving in the face of challenges and change. I really took away some solid points, not just about talking cancer but in dealing with life in general. Don't forget the Flipper's double cheese and green bell peppers as an very occasional treat. Best to you and family.

  • @mjanusic
    @mjanusic 4 года назад +10

    Excellent and well addressed topic. I suffer from chronic autoimmune disease and can totally relate to the subject and I think your suggested discussion points can fit to other diseases as well, not just cancer.

    • @bayaryan7942
      @bayaryan7942 4 года назад

      Are you turning to stone?

    • @lequadone
      @lequadone 4 года назад

      Mario Janušić Certain autoimmune diseases are caused by dairy

    • @henryplays6251
      @henryplays6251 3 года назад +1

      For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

    • @iSheree
      @iSheree Год назад

      I have chronic autoimmune diseases as well as many other chronic health conditions and disabilities. I agree with you. I have cancer now and it’s no different for me…

  • @flordgold356
    @flordgold356 7 месяцев назад +1

    Wonderful! Practical and to the point. I agreed cancer is a process that may last many years. The treatment. Chemotherapy and/or Radiotherapy and other adjuvants have horrific side effects and complications also depend of the individual own body and chronic conditions.
    Worthy!

  • @lli_loue
    @lli_loue 4 года назад +3

    thank you for this incredible lesson ... of have heart failure and just got a transplant.
    its the same mechanism for people suffering from serious chronic illness.
    people have no idea how to react to illness ... and sometimes we are expecting things they don’t actually know how to give. it’s really hard not to judge them badly for it, but I try as hard as I can.
    thank you for also addressing the question of is jeter people’s struggles, I keep on telling my friends « it’s not a competition » but it’s hard for them to understand that we actually want to hear about their everyday struggles and victories, just as we used to.

    • @iSheree
      @iSheree Год назад +1

      Completely agree. I was born disabled and over the years I have developed other chronic health issues. Now I have cancer but I am being treated no different than before. No one knows how to react… not saying they’re bad people though. ❤ Hope you are doing well.

  • @JoeShawWriter
    @JoeShawWriter Год назад +3

    Diane is amazing!

  • @Cozy_cardboard_box
    @Cozy_cardboard_box 4 месяца назад +5

    I recently found out my boyfriend has cancer, i just want to know how to be there for him because i love him with all my heart. He is the best boyfriend ever and he deserves the world.

    • @christopheradam6967
      @christopheradam6967 Месяц назад +1

      Wow.. really sorry, you must be overwhelmed with emotions. When you visit him (especially in hospital), make a nice joke at the start, then use the beginning to listen to him, then take him for a walk or a little wheelchair adventure meeting other patients and take him outside so he can see birds and children. Tell him in a calm voice, 2 or 3 funny stories about your day. Always bring a gift, no matter what it is, even a fancy bottle water will be super sweet.

    • @christopheradam6967
      @christopheradam6967 Месяц назад +1

      And create a visit plan, with notes, topics of conversation written, you’ll be suprised how easy you’ll forget it things. it will also double as a diary for you.

    • @TrishaCole-eu2id
      @TrishaCole-eu2id 27 дней назад

      Reach out to alternative treatments prepared by Dr osuma

  • @EnglishVirgo
    @EnglishVirgo 4 года назад +16

    Cancer is something that I would never wish on anybody. I fought it myself, as did many of my loved ones. It also stole way too many good people from my life. It sure as heck sorts out your fake friends. So many can't run out of your life fast enough.

    • @carpediem8752
      @carpediem8752 4 года назад +4

      I still dont.understand why they run away, ignore you when you are sick and vulnerable. That happened to me and it was hard.

    • @EnglishVirgo
      @EnglishVirgo 4 года назад

      @@carpediem8752 A lot of people are fair weather friends, sadly. I'm sorry that you went through it all. I hope that you are doing okay now.

    • @arteblack13
      @arteblack13 4 года назад +2

      The blessing is that you find out who cares about you. I went through this myself. It does hurt though.

    • @EnglishVirgo
      @EnglishVirgo 4 года назад +1

      @@arteblack13 Yes indeed you do. I see it as the thing that opened up my eyes to people and their motives, so I'm grateful.

    • @henryplays6251
      @henryplays6251 3 года назад

      For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

  • @uneceriseaupotager4952
    @uneceriseaupotager4952 4 года назад +5

    You helped me so much with your advice, thanks, I wish you the best!

  • @paulahader2676
    @paulahader2676 4 года назад +4

    Thank you very much for sharing!

  • @cocoa105
    @cocoa105 2 года назад +4

    Phenomenal message.

  • @strikingeffectspromo
    @strikingeffectspromo 2 года назад +1

    Thank you Diane! Love you, Vicki

  • @Charmingchan_
    @Charmingchan_ 4 года назад +8

    My boyfriend was diagnosed with lymphoma at the end of November & is about to be done with his last round of chemo. I wish I had known some of these things because I know I made mistakes or didn’t support him in the way he needed.

    • @arteblack13
      @arteblack13 4 года назад +3

      I'm a recent survivor myself of throat cancer. You really do care, you just didn't know how to express it. Many people in my life were like that. I don't hold it against them. Cancer is an extreme and personal issue both for the patient and loved ones. Remember, we don't have to be perfect. Bless your kind heart.

    • @henryplays6251
      @henryplays6251 3 года назад

      For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

    • @henryplays6251
      @henryplays6251 3 года назад

      @@arteblack13 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

  • @Vincelen
    @Vincelen 4 года назад +4

    This is inspiring. Thank you so much 🙏

  • @surfer610
    @surfer610 4 года назад +9

    I got full thyroidectomy. Radiation therapy is undergoing. Motivation is what makes me keep going.

  • @luciusjohnson384
    @luciusjohnson384 8 месяцев назад +4

    Going through this now with mom i try to not bring up the cancer talk so much just act regular laugh joke etc sometimes talking about it all the time is draining

  • @sabrinacici1
    @sabrinacici1 Год назад +1

    Since I knew I have cancer.. I didn't have peace.. alot of confusion problems from my home.. it have been more then a year now.. I feel I want to leave everything.. no mercy on this world.

    • @aletaMuheua
      @aletaMuheua 5 месяцев назад +1

      Keep fighting dear don't give up ....and trust in god

  • @Promiseland-i7n
    @Promiseland-i7n 6 месяцев назад +1

    My father passed from stomach and throat cancer it still hurt its only been 4 month 😢 im so depressed 😔 😞 and miss him dearly i told him i love him evey day til the last day 2/17/2024

  • @alexyssmiley3010
    @alexyssmiley3010 Год назад +3

    This was extremely helpful!

  • @HuberPhotography
    @HuberPhotography Год назад +6

    I wish people would understand that every cancer is different. Don't think that you know because you had cancer....My treatment is VERY different than others. I'm unable to work, I require home health care for over a week after each infusion. I need help going to the bathroom and eating. I have 14 months of this, in addition radiation and multiple surgeries. Just because you had cancer doesn't mean you know what another person with cancer is going through. So happy for those who had a simple lumpectomy and went back to work, I wish that was me but it's not.

    • @christaylor8337
      @christaylor8337 2 месяца назад

      I hope you are doing well.

    • @EC-yd9yv
      @EC-yd9yv Месяц назад

      So true... Can be said for many illness. . 🕊️🌸🙏

  • @Michaelmclachlan66
    @Michaelmclachlan66 4 года назад +3

    Thank you for the talk x

  • @Survivingthematrix1
    @Survivingthematrix1 2 месяца назад

    I needed this ted talk tonight ❤

  • @waldemarpalomo
    @waldemarpalomo 3 месяца назад

    My mom passed away from cancer ovarian cancer. And my neighbor is best friend I started to know more his mom and later she was diagnostics. With cancer and she beat it and it came back I tell her if u ever need anything ask if u need to go do ur appointments we don’t know how long we are gonna live 😢

  • @user-woo-liu-jio-999
    @user-woo-liu-jio-999 4 года назад +4

    Well said

  • @BaseSRKI
    @BaseSRKI 4 года назад +1

    A nice option to see how I can help, for real. It is still So hard

  • @MICHAELTULE-ok8mn
    @MICHAELTULE-ok8mn Год назад

    Word to your mother sweety

  • @unityxradio
    @unityxradio Год назад

    Ty

  • @sinanklk9522
    @sinanklk9522 4 года назад +3

    alt yazı ekleseniz, daha çok insana ulaşasanız ii olmaz mı bu tür videolarda.

  • @Avb53
    @Avb53 10 месяцев назад

    I didn’t want her to stop talking

  • @davidlu001
    @davidlu001 4 года назад +3

    Resonance therapy, the hope for end-cancer patients
    Professor Tan Jiewen, Department of Rehabilitation, Sun Yixian Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University, Guangzhou, uses energy-reflex belts to help end-stage cancer patients; no morphine, no pain in three days; normal life after three months.

  • @rumeysakaya7796
    @rumeysakaya7796 4 года назад +1

    Lütfen videoları altyazılı şekilde hazırlayın.

  • @captincupcake5583
    @captincupcake5583 3 года назад +1

    The amount of views says it all

  • @bayaryan7942
    @bayaryan7942 4 года назад +5

    Cancer? Good. I haven't had a good fight in a while.

  • @Jordarwalatech
    @Jordarwalatech 4 года назад

    Nice

  • @storytime-teacherteresagen1809
    @storytime-teacherteresagen1809 4 года назад

  • @celineboy-d3u
    @celineboy-d3u 4 года назад +1

    What causes cancer?

    • @Rohan-yu1bb
      @Rohan-yu1bb 4 года назад +1

      Carcinogen agents

    • @whitewizard7514
      @whitewizard7514 4 года назад +3

      I believe it to be caused by irregularities in dna after being replicated improperly, normally after being replicated a great amount of times, causing uncontrolled rapid cell division.

    • @dotjason8087
      @dotjason8087 4 года назад +2

      It's a matter of chance, mostly. But smoking, drinking and bad eating habits increase the chances drastically. And by "drastically" I mean that some cancer types develop multiple times more often. But the chances are still very low.

    • @dotjason8087
      @dotjason8087 4 года назад

      @@whitewizard7514 that's a perfectly valid answer, but I don't think that was the point of the question)

    • @Wsportys
      @Wsportys 4 года назад

      💙

  • @ijasikku1706
    @ijasikku1706 4 года назад +3

    *..കമന്റ് തൊഴിലാളീ കീ......*
    Like from kerala,INDIA
    4930

  • @MICHAELTULE-ok8mn
    @MICHAELTULE-ok8mn Год назад

    Hi god

  • @MICHAELTULE-ok8mn
    @MICHAELTULE-ok8mn Год назад

    Where da captuon sweety

  • @izabellamelquiades7138
    @izabellamelquiades7138 4 года назад

    What do you say? Sure, but explain why?

  • @devonlarrat207
    @devonlarrat207 4 года назад +2

    3rd comment

  • @henryplays6251
    @henryplays6251 3 года назад +1

    For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

  • @devonlarrat207
    @devonlarrat207 4 года назад +1

    Hi I am love hey all I'm asking you to be in a straight line distance from India and the day and I will see you soon eye out for the use was deleted from the use was deleted the app Store also on RUclips platform for me to get the best regards David David I am from India to help with our heart of the velocity of this email has been checked for the use was deleted from the day and I will be a good time to meet you and your old subscriber details please check your email and delete this message was deleted from your DVR is Rishabh Jain temple and I am

  • @MindsEyeVisualGuitarMethods
    @MindsEyeVisualGuitarMethods 4 года назад +1

    2 years to late. :(. Sorry.

  • @bayaryan7942
    @bayaryan7942 4 года назад +3

    Damn these comments are full of sad and/or weak . When god pulls your card it's time dont be afraid

    • @rosehartstudio
      @rosehartstudio 4 года назад +4

      No it's not full of sad and weak people. All spirituality teaches kindness, compassion and unconditional love without JUDGEMENT. We create our own karma through cause and affect of our actions, thoughts and words. Toltec wisdom teaches the four agreements the first of which states we must be impeccable with our words. We should not use them against ourselves or others as we do ourselves a disservice. My nan always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. Freedom of speech does not excuse ignorance, bad manners or poor keyboard equiette. We are all part of one concious collective here to learn our karmic lessons in life. When the creator throws us a challenge we get to choose our mindset and how we proceed through freewill, making peace with it. And we take away from it, grow and learn. I absolutely know my angels, the divine, ancestors and spirit guides are protecting me and will be there when it's my time, because they answered my prayers. I have no fear of death, no one should, its just the beginning. But I also had to go through this to show people there's no such word as terminal. Because I am healing, blessed, miracle, Destiny? yes, or maybe we have the answers within us to heal. Death and rebirth. Death is a stripping away of all that is not you, so that you may become your authentic self and the person you were destined to be. To become awake to the illusion that is the plain in which we exist. The secret to life is to die before you die. And not be so full of ego and drama that we think we can possibly have all the answers and comprehend the meaning of our existence. May you find peace, love and kindness in your heart and may you be blessed with discernment. 'Judge not lest, ye be judged'. To judge another person shows pride. Only God knows what is in a person's heart and the effort it takes to function there. Let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead make up your mind, not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.

    • @bayaryan7942
      @bayaryan7942 4 года назад +1

      @@rosehartstudio holly guacamole

    • @lli_loue
      @lli_loue 4 года назад

      wow ... how can anyone be so full of hate ? must be grueling for you.

    • @henryplays6251
      @henryplays6251 3 года назад

      For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

    • @henryplays6251
      @henryplays6251 3 года назад

      @@rosehartstudio For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

  • @luismartins6239
    @luismartins6239 Год назад

    A lot of Bull she...