INFJ! I can certainly connect through texts. I can be very expressive through texts, and I can absorb energy through texts. However, sometimes I can burn out on them and there are certainly conversations that I do not like through texts. For whatever reason, I very often hate being asked "How are you?" or "How was work?" through texts specifically. However even outside of texts sometimes I don't like those questions. I agree with everything you said other than the text thing and the fitness thing. Fitness is related to extraverted sensing I think. So, you have some INFJ's who have worked hard to get there or found something at an early age, and some who like the idea but never found something they were very comfortable with. Or haven't found it yet. I'm still on the search. And I'm busy with other things.
I will say this! I only take time to be expressive through texts when I want to be! If it's a guy I'm not interested in romantically, or someone who isn't a close enough friend, or if I'm just tired, then I won't be as expressive.
INFJ female here! I think you got it right about the text only variation is factoring in who we would trust. Fake masked types, dislikes personal questions from most friends/coworkers/everyone but I think INFJ need at least one person to stop us from going crazy. Trusted people or ones we want to be with (which is rare and hard for us). We can chat endlessly and feel every single response back. Texting part also depends on our healthy and unhealthy levels. Taking our social breaks and ghosting is so easy to do. Dissociate from everyone close. Not responding, "feeling like not talking" because it might be a long story or the person just isn't in our inner circle. When we are healthy or interested in, bend over backwards to be super kind and helpful. Enjoy every moments of positive interactions. Ironically when it comes to flirting. We don't until we met someone that gets us. So I think our brain just automatically friend zone until we decide we want them closer.
Personally I love both textin and talkin, when ya text its easier to not deal with ppl's negative emotions because when I bring up reincarnation ppl usually get upset n if they just wont even try to discuss it then there's a good chance they'll just stop textin me because I seem like a goddess heathen 🤣🤣🤣 that's one advantage to texts, another is that you can get some weed n really dive into a topic without again unnecessary emotions, there's also bein able to text ppl better than I talk, but don't get me wrong, talkin is great too but it's got downsides like I said it has with texts, I really dont like the idea of bein told I'm gonna burn in hell just because I dont believe in the same shit a regular person that's religious believes in just because I wanted to have a deep conversation, that's why I prefer to text, when it come to me I know how most ppl are n just prefer they stop textin me instead of insulting me as we talk
Once an ENTJ started approaching me so I just responded to him, talking, joking laughing etc. face to face. Then we didn't have the opportunity to see each other so we started texting, so when I only could, I responded (but he was the one to initiate all the time). Then I saw him accidentally on street so I catched him and started talking very enthusiasticly and friendly. He was so mad at me. I was shocked, didnt know what was happening. And he was like "what are you trying to do? You flirt with me, then you're avoiding me and then just like that you start talking to me again like nothing has happened?" PS we are best friends now for 6 years already
@@Skimmerlit with regular people. Text goes straight to the point and it consume less time. Absorbing people? Over the phone works best, but not for so long since I start to feel drained.
@@sue2cue I agree with this one. Texting is best with normal people, calls take too much time and energy. But would def prefer a face to face convo w someone interesting.
If it was an honest and sincere question, I would give an honest and sincere answer. But it's pretty much exactly as Skimmerlit described, my reaction would be to pause, consider, and respond in a measured way... the reason for the measured response is because although I want to be open & honest, sometimes I don't trust others to understand where I am coming from, and it hurts for me to share personal things to others and feel misunderstood as a result, so I'll kind of test the waters a lot to see what kind of person I'm talking to before I start to warm up.
As an INFJ, I feel like I'm passively listening but actively watching, studying, feeling, absorbing what's actually happening with every interaction. Words can be deceiving, but body language never lies🤔
Hi Entj im an Infj to and i have a big brother who is Entj lmao He is really harsh on me very critically and he orders me to do the house work lol Idk does he love me or just is a simple brother I hate that but :p lol what do you think beacuse i dont understand
i agree we text pretty expressively??? i like texting everything im actually doing or thinking the way im thinking, especially if im texting someone close to me :))
As INTP I always * feel * the natural connection towards INFJ's, I can't explain it, but I'm instantly drawn to them. They strike me as pure, innocent, sincere and caring; like a deer - innocent, but easy to spook if you're not careful with your words. Even in their eyes, there's something about them and I can't explain what. And the gravity around them does exist. People are naturally drawn to them, like the forest animals come to listen to Snow White's singing, that type of gravity. But INFJ's don't really want to be in the centre of attention. So one of my co-workers which I'm pretty sure is an INFJ just had this * nurse * energy around her, she always wants everyone to be comfortable and not left out (as INTP often do). So one time our entire team decided to get a drink and have some fun. I don't really talk to my co-workers unless I have to, so I don't really know them that well, so I was just sitting there in the corner of the table feeling really uncomfortable because everyone seemed to be having a blast, they were talking, laughing and so on. And I was just * sitting *, not really doing anything zoned out in my thoughts as always. And then * she * comes. She immediately sensed that I'm being left out and that I'll be uncomfortable being in the centre of the discussion, so she sits by me and strikes a conversation. And she started with the right questions too, she was asking about things I'm actually excited about. And when I would talk she would really be * in the zone *, carefully processing every word I say and asking follow-up questions, trying to understand what I'm talking about. And though I could be awkward, I felt the conversation went butter smooth; she was actually actively listening and not like others waiting for their turn to speak up, and I would ask her about stuff too. And other INFJ's that I've met were just like her, and all of them preferred to communicate either face to face or through voice/video messages.
This is an accurate example of why and how we would approach someone we are drawn to… they look left out (I.e., dead and empty inside disconnected from love and life) and we want to bring them back to earth… that’s what I did with my INTP.
The women describe who had a nurse energy may have been another personality type. I believe there is a personality type that is referred to as. “Nurse.” I think it’s starts with “IS”
Just as I thought. Bunch of infjs hiding in the dark, spying on intps, holding their laughter with each criteria on point... Let's corner them and give them a big mean hug folks >:)
INFJ Male here. I completely agree. But we don't just map it, we can navigate it however we want. We choose what groups we want or don't want to associate with since we KNOW we will be accepted (and ignored in most cases) by whatever groups we choose to engage with.
as an infj, i am so very flattered to be described like this. i have an intp in my life i adore and the thought of him thinking of me in such a way makes me so happy.
I am an INFJ and the picture you have drawn about the conversation of an INTP and INFJ is spot on. I have an INTP friend and through experience I know the connection you are talking about is very very real. Although I am fascinated woth INTPs because I get along with them really well. The texting thing depends on situatiob to sutuation I believe if my INTP friend text me with enthusiasm and I can feel it, I will reply with an equal enthusiasm. At some point INFJs can feel the energy even from text trust me.
I’m an infj who married an intp. I was in love with him for years. He looked at me more like a student. Our connection was amazing. We were best friends. So much attraction, admiration, and comfort. At least on my end. I don’t know if he ever truly loved me. It unfortunately had to come to an end. I understand why we are the golden pair though. I want to learn so much from intp’s. They are so intelligent, strong and silent. We could work together well, laugh together, be serious together. It just worked.
Skimmerlit That’s sad. Does she know if she’s an INFJ? If there is no awareness, she will be stuck forever. Once we know, we tend to dig deeper, research and soul search to become healthier. The biggest fear is to burden any person after knowing how unhealthy we are.
@@HannahV554 I do agree with you Hannah!! When I found out I was an infj, it was a huge lightbulb moment for me and helped me change a lot of unhealthy thought patterns.
My INTP boyfriend and I, yeah this was pretty much our first interaction. 8 years later and we function like a well oiled machine. He is my best friend and the only person I trust in the world. - INFJ
I really love the "please don't interrupt [an INFJ]" statement. Especially when they're busy processing or feeling out their sentence. As an INFJ i constantly get interrupted (by the wrong people) because I don't have a full response straight away. And I've actually taught myself these days to have a response ready straight away bc apparently that's what people (the wrong people) want. Around others who understand me, though, they give me time to consider and then respond which I always really appreciate. INFJs aren't slow or dumb (as some people have assumed about INJFs RiP), we just like to process things thoroughly and want to give the best possible answer we can, especially to an in depth question.
INFJ man here, my girlfriend is an INTP, we get along so well, but I always got well with INTPs in general. And 1 tip for you INTPs out there, we know that you have your problems with feelings due to inferior Fe, example when someone is sad etc. Don't be discouraged to help in your own way, even if you feel your try is not good enough, just the fact that you're trying means everything, because it means you care and we easily notice it, even if you feel it's not the best approach, try, we'll see it and appreciate it :)
I love an INTP too :) The chemistry is real between INFJ-INTP. We kissed each other on our ride home (in an Uber) on our first tinder date! Crazy we only met 5 times but those were the best days. More than 1.5 years LDR now. We only ever had fight once over the phone when I still didn't know he is an INTP. After I found MBTI and cognitive functions, that explains everything lol. . Though we're in an LDR cause he's a nomad-travels around the world, we're good. Trust me, INFJ-INTP relationship is okay in LDR. No problem if both are mature, and the INFJ not demanding much emotional needs since INTPs are very independent. Just relax! (especially for INFJs who actually can't relax inside), INTPs almost never trespass their pattern (Si Child). Both are the most loyal type (Se Inferior and Si Child), we won't go anywhere. It works. . We INFJs are very understanding and attracted to your quirkiness, you're adorable, INTPs. We admire your intelligence. GO GET YOURSELF INFJs, INTPs!!
I think I met an INFJ before.... it was a chance meeting and only lasted for a week. But wow there was gravity. We got along for no reason, it sounds cheesy but we just worked well together. -INTP
When being yourself as an INTP actually is benefitial in a conversation, indulging yourself in a deep conversation, and if interested on them as romantic partners reminding yourself to actually flirt too, or you just become the friend that likes to talk about deep sh*it.
The goal of conversation for me isn’t to reach a conclusion but to get a better view of the person by what they decide to share or not, how much passion they put into it, the tone of their voice, the faces they make, the choice of words. Haha sometimes I lose track of the topic at hand because I’m observing these things and processing them. - INFJ
I think INTP and INFJ are two overpowered builds (that's why they are the rarest), that become unbeatable together. One of them is the god of rationality, the other is the god of morality. When they meet each other they admire the other person's personality. So what happens when the highest IQ build and the highest EQ build meets? Marriage. Oooooor that's how I dreams things would have be. Still got 0 experience and story for clickbaiting to make you read it without giving any disclaimers :). INTP here.
Im an infj , i think your points are spot on , but im not sure about texting , in general i do like texting over talking on the phone and i have seen in many infj pages that talking on the phone is hard for us , but still face to face conversations are the best because we get a lot from them , even tho we aren't excited about it all the time but we like it , we get to use our Fe proprely
Body language, facial expression, and indirectness are very true about infjs. On the other end. I admire how cool and collected intps are. Pretty chill, live and let others live. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you attitude. Very confident, yet avoid conflicts. But i feel bad for them when others frustrate them by their illogicalness and i always feel an urge to explain to them why they acted or spoke in such manner.
Great job! Loved this video and so glad to come across your channel. Yes, we love walking and talking! We love reading everything about you when you speak - your tone, pace, volume, when you pause, when you look away, when your eyebrows raise, when you giggle, when you're nervously tapping the table or gripping your mug, when you sigh, when you smile, when your eyes light up, when your voice breaks. That's why we prefer in-person to texting. In conversation our goal is to soak up every last drop of behavioural data. We're analytical and you're right - we're vibe computers. -- INFJ 🙂
It is even taught in "relationship coaching", to maintain a conversation while in place, that she walking away is a sign of uninterest, so she is uninterest if she star walking. But with 16 personalities there is no rule
This is how I get to know someone. I use it as my time to be random, spontaneous, and funny and helps set the mood for dinner so by the time we eat she's already relaxed.
Marvelous and informative... INTP who was married to an INFJ for 18 years (realized this after the fact), and had another three year relationship with an INFJ (and yes into fitness.. yoga instructor). INFJ stare...check. INFJ attractiveness (& allure)... check. INFJ gravity (or gravitas?)... absolutely. Would also add other-worldliness, and they give off an air of refinement and aloofness/ detachment that is very intriguing, particularly, I imagine, for INTPs (well don't have to imagine). They tend to have a unique and interesting style of dress but not over-the-top, but the attraction is more related their poise, the way they hold themselves, even when wearing pyjamas! Have no trouble now picking them out in a crowd (female INFJs at least). Communication styles vary but I think that they also gel... INTPs want to get to the point but not in over-bearing 'this is correct/true' fashion and are happy to meander along with the INFJ, and for their part believe INFJs appreciate that we are not over-bearing in any respect, and that we give them the space and time (without judgment) for their Ni to manifest it's conclusions. As to INTP-INFJ relationships being DANGEROUS... oh yes but can't really resist... into the fire we go!
The phone call thing is fine as long as you keep the conversation positive. If most of the phone calls I have are just you dumping negative emotions ill stop answering and prefer texts because those negative thoughts stick with me after the call.
I think many INFJs do their best NOT to stare and to use FE heavily so as to make sure no one can SEE them. INFJS are the best at blending in a group as well. So...If you notice someone adjusting their communication style to people very flawlessly you found one! You will also notice that when finally alone or in between social interaction you get a very different and silent vibe all of a sudden.
Texting works great for me...I can form cohesive thoughts...although do not text back in a timely manner. One on one conversation comes in second. The phone is the tool of the devil and I avoid talking on it at all costs. "Walk with me..." also accurate😎
Texting. I'm a kind of ambivert INFJ - I can turn it on with the social butterfly thing, people seem to enjoy my company. Partnered for 21 years with a suspected ESFP. Opposites attract! As an INFJ you always feel different so it's good to have some kind of validation. But inside, I really crave being alone, and love time spent in my own company "in my head". Even when I'm socialising I have half my mind developing my Ni. My socialising is with groups of known people, I hate large noisy venues of strangers where I get sensory overload,. Therefore, I don't like being dragged back into the real world so I discourage texting. Everyone: "Where have you been, I can never get a hold of you".
Intp's are so different than most people in how they think, speak, process things that I, an infj people connoisseur, can find myself totally mesmerized by them. I love to study them. They are like a tough cipher to crack. I have to learn their humor, quirks and many other nuanced things to be able to interact with them in a meaningful way. It's like learning a new language. And I think the feeling is mutual. They find me curious and ask 'why' a lot which is difficult for me to explain in terms they can understand but we eventually get there. I love the challenge and our friendship(s) are extremely rewarding when we can learn from each other. Oh and a big point here is I am "sapiosexual" so I fall hard because of their intelligence, wit and sense of humor.
Everything you said was accurate. I can’t stand texting. It feels so artificial. There’s no flow or depth to any conversation. And the only way to communicate your emotions is with emojis, which feel disingenuous. On top of that, the grammar rules for texting are different than actual writing, meaning I have to find a way to communicate long winded ideas without sounding passive aggressive. All this to say, I burn out really easily when talking online, which is why it takes me so long to respond. -INxJ
Thank you for this! It was oddly emotional to feel seen. I've never heard anyone provide an account in quite this manner, much less an accurate one (my Ti thanks you, lol). -INFJ
INFJ 💜: Quite accurate and surprised how you nailed the "talk-and-walk with me" scenario. I do enjoy all forms of written communication very much but absolutely prefer visual/sound/energy aka "in person" or voice conversations, etc. - totally a better read and deeper connection with people this way... private and personal preferences factor in as well. Thanks for the video 😊
I'm an INFJ, I would say I'm actually pretty expressive when I text, and depending on who I'm talking to, I prefer it. But yes, face to face is my most preferred method of communication because then you'll also get what people are not saying to you. You get the whole picture that way. Calling me is good because the conversation flows faster, but that would be the only reason I would choose it over text.
INFJ here, I think we're mostly here because we all long to be profoundly understood but most people don't take the time to riddle us out. So thanks for that.
Lots of comments saying no calls, but if I'm more open with you and know you, I get way more enjoyment from calls (thatiknowaregoingtohappenlol). Your algorithm is spot on. Just don't call us when we're driving. Even if it's hands-free, we'll just die. I'm definitely better communicating my thoughts when writing, compared to talking, but I've also worked hard on the talking part.
I can understand that. This'll be limited in depth, since I only sampled a few that caught my eye, but I think it's moreso the jaded+reclusive crowd in the comments, that the videos draw, in conjunction with your overarching tones of frustration that could be offputting to mbti ppl you are trying to garner. Who's to say our online lives can't be a mirror of the progression of our real lives though. Definite good news is that your humour is on point and youtubely unique 👍 It may also be that it's jarring how positive your outlook is doing the mbti stuff. Kind of stark in contrast to the rumination of earlier vids.
I'm an INFJ, I can't explain it but I LOVEEE INTP's!! I have 2 I get along with very well, I adore them sm and it feels totally mutual! I enjoy the pointedness and sincerity. It feels like I always know where I stand with them and that makes me feel so secure
The don't interupt component is SO FUCKING TRUE MY GOSH!!! I have friends that mean well but interrupt me and immediately I just stay quiet and reserve myself. If you can really LISTEN, omg you're goldeeennnnnn
You can call us, if we're really close. But if you just met, don't call HAHAHA I think what's best is to actually appoint a meeting together. Like a talk in a park, cafe, somewhere peaceful and serene. It's true, I can't connect through texting or chatting. It often feels dead for me, that's why I take years to reply.
So I met an INFJ online, I'm an ENTJ, but we ended up hitting it off well enough and became friends... maybe... Acquaintance. But we started chatting in Dm's and she immediately started asking a bunch of questions, which kinda set me off and made me pull back and raise my walls cause it crossed boundaries I wasn't expecting from such a new person. It wasn't until rewatching your ENTJ video where you said "Entjs have boundaries, you can't go from 0 to 100 like with an INFJ" And that's when it clicked and I went, "Oh, I'm a dumbass who should have suspected this would happen." She also has an odd habit (perhaps not so odd to the average person) of complimenting me on the most random things. Anyway, thanks for helping me to realize that I don't need to simply stonewall them because they are asking questions, it's just kinda what they do.
Hahaha i have a thing that if i think of a compliment i say it to the person, you never know what people are going through and if it’ll make them feel special. -infj
@@TheHappyNapkin yeah, I see that. But it just made me super sus about them and ask myself constantly “what do they want? Why are they trying to butter me up.” Etc. I’ve been guilt tripped and used too much to take much without suspecting there is some hidden fee.
It's a Ni-Ti thing to ask a lot of questions. They're trying to see if certain aspects of a conversation match up with what they know. It helps to sharpen Ni.
I've finally found one. An INTP, and it is :perfect: Also, please never call an INFJ unless you're dead. I enjoy this video, btw, the calmness soothes me. Thank you.
The ‘dead stare’ 🤦🏼♀️ the ‘dead text’ 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ yes!!! When I’m around people, it probably looks this way because Fe is kicking in HARD!!! It feels like a churning, deeply empathic and like I’m digesting the other person. You know that feeling after a large meal. You can’t do anything, you’re just feeling your way through in the moment. The reason I think my INTP’s like us is because once we’re done ‘digesting’...our Ti kicks in and we can crank out all that we’ve gathered with equal intelligence. I Love writing and I do research and blogging. But yes it’s cold. But texting and short had... only AFTER I’ve taking someone/something in fully. Once I know you, once I trust you and there’s a relationship. Then text is fine. I’d still rather in person ever time but it gets easier. If you want to see us come alive, and get very hot?...reach in and ask us the effect that something has on us. Or how things relate to each other on the metaphysical. Anything meta really. Anything that brings things together and has the potential to elegantly weave together seemingly disparate concepts into broader and meaningful overarching theories that have been developed through a process of induction, ground up, refined thematically and systematically applied in real life...🤤
We only care to speak face to face or, if we have to, over a call if we really care about you. Otherwise, if it's just information we prefer the efficiency of texting
You're cute. I like listening to you. When you were talking about what would an infj do when you ask them that question i was doing the exact same things after i listened to that question. You were very accurate. About the texting thing, no not me. Being alone feels more comfortable to take my time to think and give more genuine, more mesured answers. Plus people make me nervous, especially if i like them romantically and i'll be acting weird and my true self won't show.
Right?? When he said a good infj question would be that I immediately started looking up and thinking about how I would answer. It’s the PERFECT infj question.
Infj here. I agree with most of your points. About phone call versus text- phone is a bad idea for initially starting to talk as that would put my anxiety through the roof, trying to quickly determine why an acquaintance would be doing something so personal as calling. I would have to operate under the possibility in future that the intp is trying to form a close relationship and probably romantic. It could be useful to make one’s intentions known that way, but if they don’t know you at all it could force the infj to put up barriers very quickly. It’s also just very uncomfortable getting to know someone over the phone without being able to see the intp’s interest in a topic, or having visual prompts to come up with conversational topics. That said, yes phone is much preferred once the relational dynamic has been clearly defined. Also, as for texting coldly, I have learned to disguise that by utilizing emoticons and guiding the conversation toward topics that I am deeply invested in. But I extremely limit both when I’m texting someone I am not wanting or ready to develop anything with. Too many people try to establish a meaningless connection so it is a defense mechanism to initially text in a removed or neutral way. But say my crush texted me for the first time. Since I have already established intuitively that I want to be closer (assuming a relationship wouldn’t be forbidden) then from the start I do not believe my texting would come off as cold or removed. Apart from those distinctions, I found your observations remarkably on point.
I met mine on OkCupid (A dating site) after I noticed she was the only girl that even came CLOSE to answering as many questions as I had. :) Had to message her a 2nd time after the first message didn't lead to much, but I found her later and just couldn't let this interesting woman go by, so I reached out again and that time, it worked and now we're married!
Nailed it; 100! Yessss yes. Yes. Seeing you explain it and understand it so accurately, so acutely, it's such a relief i- I actually found it *exciting!* Moving. 'either presently detached or detachedly present';'not meandering' but 'doing something'; youve got a good system! I would say i prefer conversations over a platform like discord. Not texting it's too impersonal. Something big enough to express what I want, but allows me to connect in a quiet house and prepare my communications, which all infjs struggle with. We are better writers than communicators. It's like what you said about the questions. We will stop and process, almost never answering right away or fully. That being said, deep one-on-ones are my bread and butter. I could never trade those. We also tend to prefer in person because we can readily gleam more information than over text. The tone of your voice, the knit of your brow, the way your leaning, which words are emphasized. In a sense we are looking for your code, looking for your tell; I think we feel we lose that information over a screen, and we also feel limited at giving that information ourselves if we aren't face to face. (Ex. I even enjoyed how you called us weird. From time and context, that's a compliment, not a slight. And we so want to be complimented for our uniqueness, instead of the usual criticisms and unacceptance)
Ah, the desire for verbal communication is so accurate. IDK what to do with texts, but in person, once I have figured you out with the surrounding context, it's so easy for the conversation to flow.
The texting thing varies! We as introverts don't like phone talk...privacy interrupted...I feel I'm extremely expressive in texting. Just like I'm talking...but I certainly prefer face to face when I can go out and interact yes.
Well, I'm an INFJ and I think the reason we're/ or seem alluring is because we have such a detached expression but very "seeing" and active eyes that it makes us seem mysterious yet intelligent and hence why ppl might gravitate towards us (its just what i think, i'm not a psychologist) and the reason we're aware of societal dynamics is cuz we very well read people's body language and attitude towards other ppl and the reason we are uncomfortable meeting strangers is probably cuz its a whole new identity being introduced in our small world and our subconscious goes into hyperdrive trying to figure the new person's energy and we become wary of what energy this new person might bring to the table since we are very susceptible to people's energy and YET we're still somehow comfortable interacting despite being total introverts is probably cuz we can see their attitude towards us and steer the conversations acc to their wants and successfully avoid conflict this is the longest comment i've ever written and as i said i'm not a professional, i just wrote what i think is right and i would rly love if other INFJs comment on this
You are spot on when it comes to communication. As an INFJ, I was told many times whenever I send a text or message that I sounded cold. I do prefer to talk to people face to face and look in their eyes while I talk to them and vice versa. I look at what's behind those eyes and like you said, absorb their energy.
Was pretty shocked to hear some spot on things about me so thanks. nice to know that other intps give their thoughts sometimes I feel like my bf doesn’t want to tell me much bc I talk way too much to him. Idk if it’s just me but I do love to hear compliments and this helps me feel seen at least with other intps I can get a better understanding why he’s around me a lot.
All of this is too complicated for me. I've let so many INFJ lady friends slip through my fingers that I'm kicking myself. I always thought it was the ENFJ I was supposed to be with. So I'd sit all day and night, hangin' with my INFJ lady friends, complaining bitterly that I couldn't find any ENFJs that were interested in me. Well, that's not all we talked about - we talked about everything under the Sun. And the Moon. And the Universe. Sometimes they invited me out on dates, which I didn't really recognize as dates. We would go to lunch, we'd go to dinner, we'd go fishing all night, we'd go bar-hopping, sometimes I would go out with two INFJs at a time. Who knew. Sometimes they would wander over to my house, plop themselves down (literally) on my loveseat and start chattering away as though I were their personal lifetime therapist. I'm still totally unsocialized and still totally confused about the whole mating and dating thing. Even though I have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. I'm back in the dating world (have been for a long time, since INTPs really struggle with this), but if I ever come across another INFJ who even halfway has her head screwed on straight, I'll probably go ahead and settle. Okay, technically speaking, no INFJs have their heads screwed on straight, so I'll just have to settle for them not being ax-murderers, drug dealers or ex-cons. Now... where do I have to wander in order to have 50+ female INFJs find me? Because my finding them probably isn't going to happen. I know they're not party animals so they won't be at the bars. I did meet one at the gym recently, but she was only 24. We had a nice, interesting conversation, but 24 is a far stretch even for me. I do meet ladies at the gym, but unless I ask, none of them will come out and say, "Hi, I'm an INFJ." The 24 yo only knew her personality type because she had a degree in psychology. Go figure. Don't they all have degrees in psychology?
We are hard to find… I spent the majority of my days at home with the exception of work, working out, going for a walk, a coffee shop, and bookstore, sitting somewhere in nature/landscape by myself… if you aren’t circulating those avenues you will miss us by a long shot. Or if you happened to find me at a club with a large group of xSxJs, you’ll be able to confirm it’s an INFJ because we are likely watching the purses and boringly sitting in a corner refusing to walk through the dance floor a million times to go to the restroom a million times. We probably “look” like the least desirable person to get to know because we were dragged there to “fit in” our social circles while desperately dreaming of just taking off into the distance with you… we like one-on-one stuff in a quiet setting.
I prefer experiencing conversation verbally but when it’s not an option all expression will present be the email or text. Just found this channel. Very insightful videos, thank you.
Infj male - I’m 21 years old. - The stare is something I’ve caught myself doing and have learned to only look when given an excuse like you said, lol. - I do prefer in person talking because I tend to over analyze texts. I sometimes try to pull as much of their energy through their texts when in reality it could be that they were just in a rush or driving etc. learned to play it more simple to not mess with my mind. Good video brother
I agree with your points. I am an Infj who hates texting. It feels superficial and not like i'm actually speaking to another human. BUT! If you call me out of nowhere i'm not going to answer. If you want to connect with an infj without being face to face, text us and ask if you can call. An infj will want to make sure you're ok and doing well, so we will most likely say yes. Plus, it shows us that you understand our preferences and respect our need to disconnect without interruptions. We like it when people understand us just a little and shows that they're fine with us being a bit different from the majority of people in our society. It's nice to not have to put on a more socially acceptable front.
If we do text, don't expect us to confine to society’s norms of how long to wait before answering and shit. We don't care. If we consider someone a friend or romantic interest, we answer when we have the time and energy. We expect the people we like to understand that.
I feel caught somehow! Staring if allowed or not noticable (yay sunglasses) and the response to "what is most important to you in life?" - scarily accurate. Literally a point-by-point description of how I imaged the conversation in my head seconds before he said it. Also, not being put off when chatted up randomly, as long as it is in a nice, friendly manner. Actually, I really like like talking to friendly strangers, but would never start up the conversation on my own. Deep topics right away? No problem. And out-of-the-blue random but thought provoking questions are really good. And yes, I would totally let that person walk with me (again, if I get a good vibe from them), but also never change the plans made before.
I met your first ENTJ videos and most of the analyzes and opinions you found about us were so accurate that I was surprised because I did not expect such a result. I thought I was an INTJ for a long time too because of my introversion, but after a lot of explanation and research, I realized that I was an ENTJ and realized how misunderstood we were due to misinformation on the Internet. I'm posting it under the INFJ video, sorry INFJs.
Okay, so perhaps this is too late, but one thing I’ve noticed about ENTJs in my life is that they often believe themselves to be introverts. However, I have a thought on this-correct me if I’m wrong. Most of the ENTJs I have met make decisions based on what is most efficient (Te function). However, most people aren't efficient enough to an ENTJ’s degree, which frustrates them. This frustration often leads to isolation because ENTJs realize that explaining their thoughts to others would be as pointless as talking to a goat (completely useless). This isolation then makes them think they are introverts. But if you were placed in a group of people as efficient as you, you would love being surrounded by them-sometimes (or most of the time) leading the group and sometimes simply absorbing what others have to say to improve yourself. - Intp
I wish I knew this earlier. Kept an INFJ for about 4 years, strictly through the internet, of course. What kind of fool walks out of their house nowadays anyway? But that's beside the point. She was so off putting. I imagined her being rational and driven by personal gains. I was wrong. She did have feelings, quite a lot. Kinda freaked me out at first when I started digging into her seriously. Everything you mentioned in this video allowed me to connect missing spots in her case, thank you for that. Also, this is my second video but I'm already starting to consider myself being "part of my core audience". I'll try to provide some assistance in the future as well. INTJ (probably maybe who knows), 23 y.o.
You are correct about everything except texting. I prefer texting to communicate with most people except those one or two people that I’m most intimate with. Those such as my wife get the short disconnected texts. If you call me, I won’t answer my phone.
I'm getting super curious now what this phenomenon is about? I keep hearing that INTPs are attracted to INFJs and I never would have guessed that. What are we attributing this to? And why is it dangerous? -curious INFJ
INTPs and INFJs seem naturally to befriend and fall for each other. I don't know why. It just happens. INTPs like how understood and appreciated INFJs make them feel, and INFJs seem to enjoy soaking INTPs' energy/logic/kindness/innocence. INTP-INFJ is the "golden pairing," and it is golden, but its depth is golden, not its longevity. INTP-INFJ relationships firing on all cylinders hit emotional/mental depths no other humans will. Ever. Period. But, in my experience, in other INTPs' experiences, and in other INFJs' experiences, these relationships always end with the immature one hurting the giving one, leaving the giving INTP/INFJ traumatized, confused, and craving closure they'll never find. Maybe the high is worth the hurt? I don't know. I still love INFJs to pieces, and vice versa it seems, and I love falling into casual friendships/relationships with them because we communicate so effortlessly, but trusting one to that extent? I wish I could
@@Skimmerlit Nice assessment. I've never dated an INTP. I've also seldom had them in my sphere in general. That's changing, though, as I'm moving into the sciences and a.i. industry. So it's interesting to contemplate. I find an attraction, certainly, though i notice that of the NT types INTJ and ENTP are the most familiar and easy to get along with. INTJ sees the world in much the same way, recognizable reasoning. ENTP takes us off our guard and brings refreshing approaches and perspectives. I love the way that INTPs think, but their processing feels foreign. Maybe that's that difference that can't be bridged? Still exploring it.
I can attest to the dynamics between INTPs and INFJs presented here. Female INFJ and always feel inexplicably attracted to INTPs. Agree with the staring part. I love this INTP and wanted to look at him more but he is so introverted and seldom speaks in the group that we're in that it is always a point of agony for me. Thankfully, this urge can be satisfied when speaking one-on-one to INTPs. Also, always prefer face-to-face. Texts over phone, though agree that can appear cold and distanced through texts. Phone calls are annoying for two reasons - one, it is unscheduled and unexpected; second, I suspect we do not hear people's words and we do this weird 'absorbing' thing. The part about not breaking plans is true. We usually follow through with what is planned and don't mind fitting other things in between.
I can relate to it when you said that INFJ is cold and dead in texts. Two of my friends told me already that they don't know if they are talking to a robot or something. I just realized that again when another friend told me that recently (I got 3 lol). Aside that I want to be on point thru text, being concise and concrete, I also don't use too much emojis bcos I think they are not that necessary and I don't like the text being decorated lol one and two is enough. I get lazy at typing sometimes and am not expressive in texts or in social media. Yet I am different in person bcos I always want to see the sincerity or the behavior of the person I am talking to. I don't want any misunderstandings thru a screen. Edited: Also, I have the zombie stare too. lol. You are on point. - INFJ
Married to an INFJ, and all past girlfriends were INFJs. My experience is that they don't have an issue with being interrupted, as long as you introduce fun tangential ideas that turn their sunday stroll of a thought process into a saturday expedition into the unknown. -ENTP
I'm an INFJ (answering your question at the end 😛) and i'm so flattered by your description ! It was super accurate ! Except phone calls , i hate them 😂 i prefer texts (where i can be super warm & expressive) or face to face talks which are much better
INFJ here. Into health. Not into fitness. Wish I was. I mean, I walk a lot. But fitness is out of my comfort zone. I have exercise equipment that I don't use that hopefully one day I will!
Before commenting: The texting point is wrong. Too much variation.
INFJ! I can certainly connect through texts. I can be very expressive through texts, and I can absorb energy through texts.
However, sometimes I can burn out on them and there are certainly conversations that I do not like through texts. For whatever reason, I very often hate being asked "How are you?" or "How was work?" through texts specifically. However even outside of texts sometimes I don't like those questions.
I agree with everything you said other than the text thing and the fitness thing. Fitness is related to extraverted sensing I think. So, you have some INFJ's who have worked hard to get there or found something at an early age, and some who like the idea but never found something they were very comfortable with. Or haven't found it yet. I'm still on the search.
And I'm busy with other things.
I will say this! I only take time to be expressive through texts when I want to be!
If it's a guy I'm not interested in romantically, or someone who isn't a close enough friend, or if I'm just tired, then I won't be as expressive.
I had second thoughts that I should take the test again but i still agree that I'm an infj and this is the last massage I'm not gonna discard again
INFJ female here! I think you got it right about the text only variation is factoring in who we would trust.
Fake masked types, dislikes personal questions from most friends/coworkers/everyone but I think INFJ need at least one person to stop us from going crazy.
Trusted people or ones we want to be with (which is rare and hard for us). We can chat endlessly and feel every single response back.
Texting part also depends on our healthy and unhealthy levels. Taking our social breaks and ghosting is so easy to do. Dissociate from everyone close. Not responding, "feeling like not talking" because it might be a long story or the person just isn't in our inner circle.
When we are healthy or interested in, bend over backwards to be super kind and helpful. Enjoy every moments of positive interactions.
Ironically when it comes to flirting. We don't until we met someone that gets us. So I think our brain just automatically friend zone until we decide we want them closer.
Personally I love both textin and talkin, when ya text its easier to not deal with ppl's negative emotions because when I bring up reincarnation ppl usually get upset n if they just wont even try to discuss it then there's a good chance they'll just stop textin me because I seem like a goddess heathen 🤣🤣🤣 that's one advantage to texts, another is that you can get some weed n really dive into a topic without again unnecessary emotions, there's also bein able to text ppl better than I talk, but don't get me wrong, talkin is great too but it's got downsides like I said it has with texts, I really dont like the idea of bein told I'm gonna burn in hell just because I dont believe in the same shit a regular person that's religious believes in just because I wanted to have a deep conversation, that's why I prefer to text, when it come to me I know how most ppl are n just prefer they stop textin me instead of insulting me as we talk
INFJ's : *doing nothing, saying nothing, just being there*
Others: Why are you flirting?
Hahaha so true ! I once had an INTP tell me stop flirting with everyone you know 😁 we can’t help but be charming (Fe)
I am an INFJ, it happens to me a lot I don't know why, they think I am flirting but I am not
Once an ENTJ started approaching me so I just responded to him, talking, joking laughing etc. face to face. Then we didn't have the opportunity to see each other so we started texting, so when I only could, I responded (but he was the one to initiate all the time). Then I saw him accidentally on street so I catched him and started talking very enthusiasticly and friendly. He was so mad at me. I was shocked, didnt know what was happening. And he was like "what are you trying to do? You flirt with me, then you're avoiding me and then just like that you start talking to me again like nothing has happened?"
PS we are best friends now for 6 years already
HELP ME TOO LIKE GURL MY I STARED AT MY FRIEND AND SHE WAS LIKE *are you lesbian?*
Oh shlt I thought he was flirting
INFJ: stares intently while listening to INTP talking
INTP: doesn't break eye contact
INFJ: >_> is this love?
>_
Truuuue
Ooh fudge need to find my INTP,
I hate when an INFJ is looking at me.
In the intp-world eye contact is non existing
@@Bravo-Tango-7274 hmmm that might not be an INTP thing but a spectrum thing.
👨🦯👨🦯👨🦯 Ill pretend I never saw that
Infj here. I own a phone, but prefer texting over calls. I have no time for unplanned long conversations. Face to face is best.
With normal people or absorbing people? I've noticed INFJs occasionally obsess over individuals
@@Skimmerlit with regular people. Text goes straight to the point and it consume less time. Absorbing people? Over the phone works best, but not for so long since I start to feel drained.
I’m an INFJ, also. I’m with “Sue 2Cue” regarding Texting vs. Phone Calls. Face to face is better for me, too.
@@sue2cue I agree with this one. Texting is best with normal people, calls take too much time and energy. But would def prefer a face to face convo w someone interesting.
I agreeee
INTP: What's most important to you in life, oh dear INFJ?
INFJ: I'm not going to tell you, it's a secret!
That's what I thought immediately.😂
Infj here.
If it was an honest and sincere question, I would give an honest and sincere answer. But it's pretty much exactly as Skimmerlit described, my reaction would be to pause, consider, and respond in a measured way... the reason for the measured response is because although I want to be open & honest, sometimes I don't trust others to understand where I am coming from, and it hurts for me to share personal things to others and feel misunderstood as a result, so I'll kind of test the waters a lot to see what kind of person I'm talking to before I start to warm up.
Its a mystery only God knows. LOL
I would only answer if i trust this person, know him/her for a loooong time and be sure they understand me 😅
@@AmayIia true
I have met an intp before , and my advice for my fellows infjs
DO NOT let go of them in under any circumstances.
:D cute -intp-
Believe me if we imprint we won't let you give us up for no good reason
My INFJ cousin married an INTP many moons ago.
Fudge I didn't find one
@@isthisoneunavailable what does imprinting mean?
As an INFJ, I feel like I'm passively listening but actively watching, studying, feeling, absorbing what's actually happening with every interaction. Words can be deceiving, but body language never lies🤔
The "walk with me" part is too accurate. Thank you! :) - INFJ
Plz walk with me and discuss some topic that peaks your energy
So, so true
I totally do this too lol. Efficient and enjoyable use of time!
The INFJ I know is probably the most enthusiastic texter I've ever seen. Never have I seen someone display emotion so well over text. Btw I'm an ENTJ
Hi Entj im an Infj to and i have a big brother who is Entj lmao
He is really harsh on me very critically and he orders me to do the house work lol
Idk does he love me or just is a simple brother
I hate that but :p lol what do you think beacuse i dont understand
I think there should be a series on how well INFJ and ENTJ get along, we really do make good friends. Well developed ones
@@abetteryou4228 He has a Low Fi, just don't let him walk all over you.
i agree we text pretty expressively??? i like texting everything im actually doing or thinking the way im thinking, especially if im texting someone close to me :))
This is true. I am an INFJ.
INFJ here dating an INTP! He finds me charming and mysterious and I find him intelligent and cool-headed, which is so admirable!
As INTP I always * feel * the natural connection towards INFJ's, I can't explain it, but I'm instantly drawn to them. They strike me as pure, innocent, sincere and caring; like a deer - innocent, but easy to spook if you're not careful with your words. Even in their eyes, there's something about them and I can't explain what. And the gravity around them does exist. People are naturally drawn to them, like the forest animals come to listen to Snow White's singing, that type of gravity. But INFJ's don't really want to be in the centre of attention.
So one of my co-workers which I'm pretty sure is an INFJ just had this * nurse * energy around her, she always wants everyone to be comfortable and not left out (as INTP often do). So one time our entire team decided to get a drink and have some fun. I don't really talk to my co-workers unless I have to, so I don't really know them that well, so I was just sitting there in the corner of the table feeling really uncomfortable because everyone seemed to be having a blast, they were talking, laughing and so on. And I was just * sitting *, not really doing anything zoned out in my thoughts as always. And then * she * comes. She immediately sensed that I'm being left out and that I'll be uncomfortable being in the centre of the discussion, so she sits by me and strikes a conversation. And she started with the right questions too, she was asking about things I'm actually excited about. And when I would talk she would really be * in the zone *, carefully processing every word I say and asking follow-up questions, trying to understand what I'm talking about. And though I could be awkward, I felt the conversation went butter smooth; she was actually actively listening and not like others waiting for their turn to speak up, and I would ask her about stuff too. And other INFJ's that I've met were just like her, and all of them preferred to communicate either face to face or through voice/video messages.
This is an accurate example of why and how we would approach someone we are drawn to… they look left out (I.e., dead and empty inside disconnected from love and life) and we want to bring them back to earth… that’s what I did with my INTP.
Did you just compare me to a deer? hahahaha
❤❤❤
Infj. I really loved your comment. They way you describe us and our gravity is heartwarming and accurate and I so appreciate it.
The women describe who had a nurse energy may have been another personality type. I believe there is a personality type that is referred to as. “Nurse.” I think it’s starts with “IS”
Just as I thought. Bunch of infjs hiding in the dark, spying on intps, holding their laughter with each criteria on point... Let's corner them and give them a big mean hug folks >:)
And we'll give you all the care and genuine compliments you need
@@Skimmerlit :'')
Uwuwwu
Uwuwwu
Lol aweeeee
INFJ here. It's not that we're just aware of social interweaving, we map it. We're like social cartographers.
INFJ Male here. I completely agree. But we don't just map it, we can navigate it however we want. We choose what groups we want or don't want to associate with since we KNOW we will be accepted (and ignored in most cases) by whatever groups we choose to engage with.
as an infj, i am so very flattered to be described like this. i have an intp in my life i adore and the thought of him thinking of me in such a way makes me so happy.
I am an INFJ and the picture you have drawn about the conversation of an INTP and INFJ is spot on. I have an INTP friend and through experience I know the connection you are talking about is very very real. Although I am fascinated woth INTPs because I get along with them really well. The texting thing depends on situatiob to sutuation I believe if my INTP friend text me with enthusiasm and I can feel it, I will reply with an equal enthusiasm. At some point INFJs can feel the energy even from text trust me.
I’m an infj who married an intp. I was in love with him for years. He looked at me more like a student. Our connection was amazing. We were best friends. So much attraction, admiration, and comfort. At least on my end. I don’t know if he ever truly loved me. It unfortunately had to come to an end. I understand why we are the golden pair though. I want to learn so much from intp’s. They are so intelligent, strong and silent. We could work together well, laugh together, be serious together. It just worked.
How did it end? I'm dealing with an especially unhealthy INFJ I'll probably be leaving soon.
Skimmerlit That’s sad. Does she know if she’s an INFJ? If there is no awareness, she will be stuck forever. Once we know, we tend to dig deeper, research and soul search to become healthier. The biggest fear is to burden any person after knowing how unhealthy we are.
@@HannahV554 I do agree with you Hannah!! When I found out I was an infj, it was a huge lightbulb moment for me and helped me change a lot of unhealthy thought patterns.
@@natalietuggle5827 That’s great Natalie. We do have a deep love for learning and continuous growth😊
@@natalietuggle5827 Your face... I like it.
My INTP boyfriend and I, yeah this was pretty much our first interaction. 8 years later and we function like a well oiled machine. He is my best friend and the only person I trust in the world. - INFJ
I really love the "please don't interrupt [an INFJ]" statement.
Especially when they're busy processing or feeling out their sentence.
As an INFJ i constantly get interrupted (by the wrong people) because I don't have a full response straight away. And I've actually taught myself these days to have a response ready straight away bc apparently that's what people (the wrong people) want.
Around others who understand me, though, they give me time to consider and then respond which I always really appreciate.
INFJs aren't slow or dumb (as some people have assumed about INJFs RiP), we just like to process things thoroughly and want to give the best possible answer we can, especially to an in depth question.
There's a reason we tend to be silent a lot, after we xarry a few years on our backs... many words get wasted
INFJ man here, my girlfriend is an INTP, we get along so well, but I always got well with INTPs in general. And 1 tip for you INTPs out there, we know that you have your problems with feelings due to inferior Fe, example when someone is sad etc. Don't be discouraged to help in your own way, even if you feel your try is not good enough, just the fact that you're trying means everything, because it means you care and we easily notice it, even if you feel it's not the best approach, try, we'll see it and appreciate it :)
I love an INTP too :) The chemistry is real between INFJ-INTP. We kissed each other on our ride home (in an Uber) on our first tinder date! Crazy we only met 5 times but those were the best days. More than 1.5 years LDR now. We only ever had fight once over the phone when I still didn't know he is an INTP. After I found MBTI and cognitive functions, that explains everything lol.
.
Though we're in an LDR cause he's a nomad-travels around the world, we're good. Trust me, INFJ-INTP relationship is okay in LDR. No problem if both are mature, and the INFJ not demanding much emotional needs since INTPs are very independent. Just relax! (especially for INFJs who actually can't relax inside), INTPs almost never trespass their pattern (Si Child). Both are the most loyal type (Se Inferior and Si Child), we won't go anywhere. It works.
.
We INFJs are very understanding and attracted to your quirkiness, you're adorable, INTPs. We admire your intelligence. GO GET YOURSELF INFJs, INTPs!!
I am an INFJ doing LDR for 4 years with my INTP bf, this is so nice to hear from another INFJ! The emotional neediness is real though 😅
Your comment kinda gives me hope hmmm -INFJ here
And we admire your insane EQ. For us logic monsters, our hearts are frozen and we feel like we need an INFJ for that.
I think I met an INFJ before.... it was a chance meeting and only lasted for a week. But wow there was gravity.
We got along for no reason, it sounds cheesy but we just worked well together.
-INTP
When being yourself as an INTP actually is benefitial in a conversation, indulging yourself in a deep conversation, and if interested on them as romantic partners reminding yourself to actually flirt too, or you just become the friend that likes to talk about deep sh*it.
“The friend that likes to talk about deep shit.”
Oof. I’ve been making acquaintances recently, and that’s precisely my niche.
The goal of conversation for me isn’t to reach a conclusion but to get a better view of the person by what they decide to share or not, how much passion they put into it, the tone of their voice, the faces they make, the choice of words.
Haha sometimes I lose track of the topic at hand because I’m observing these things and processing them. - INFJ
I'm an INFJ and I'm just laughing at how accurate you predicted our actions and answers would be. Lmao u a high functioning INTP :p
I’ve thought about the INFJ stare since you asked me, and I’ve caught myself doing it often. Also, thanks for calling me attractive.
INFJ here and this is perfect.... I love energy of INTPs. It really draws me in.
I think INTP and INFJ are two overpowered builds (that's why they are the rarest), that become unbeatable together. One of them is the god of rationality, the other is the god of morality. When they meet each other they admire the other person's personality. So what happens when the highest IQ build and the highest EQ build meets? Marriage.
Oooooor that's how I dreams things would have be. Still got 0 experience and story for clickbaiting to make you read it without giving any disclaimers :). INTP here.
It makes sense that your name is iLikeTrains, it's adorable and screams INTP.
I married an INTP he's the cutest damn nerd I've ever met.
Im an infj , i think your points are spot on , but im not sure about texting , in general i do like texting over talking on the phone and i have seen in many infj pages that talking on the phone is hard for us , but still face to face conversations are the best because we get a lot from them , even tho we aren't excited about it all the time but we like it , we get to use our Fe proprely
Interesting. Appreciate the input; I'll look into it further. Are you new to my channel? If so, how did you find this?
@@Skimmerlit i was looking for some new mbti content in youtube , i limited the search for just this week and found your video .
@@Skimmerlit intps input on infjs is always intresting , i did enjoy your video.
I agree. :) i can't talk well on phone, but with written communication, i think i could express my thoughts well.
Agreed i dislike talking on the phone. Always have
Body language, facial expression, and indirectness are very true about infjs. On the other end. I admire how cool and collected intps are. Pretty chill, live and let others live. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you attitude. Very confident, yet avoid conflicts. But i feel bad for them when others frustrate them by their illogicalness and i always feel an urge to explain to them why they acted or spoke in such manner.
I felt like you were talking about me the whole time hahahah very accurate
I live in a world filled with morons.... except for my awesome INFJ pals.😀
INFJ - you got the walking while still connecting thing right - weird. Never realised I did this.
I love meeting up with friends for walks and to walk our dogs together. I also do phone calls rarely at home usually when on long walks!
I'm an INFJ and I spend a lot on grooming and keeping myself well dressed.
Great job! Loved this video and so glad to come across your channel.
Yes, we love walking and talking! We love reading everything about you when you speak - your tone, pace, volume, when you pause, when you look away, when your eyebrows raise, when you giggle, when you're nervously tapping the table or gripping your mug, when you sigh, when you smile, when your eyes light up, when your voice breaks. That's why we prefer in-person to texting.
In conversation our goal is to soak up every last drop of behavioural data. We're analytical and you're right - we're vibe computers.
-- INFJ 🙂
Wait, connecting while walking is weird? I feel like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Not a lot of people do this. They prefer to sit in one place, at least in my experience. I would love this.
It is even taught in "relationship coaching", to maintain a conversation while in place, that she walking away is a sign of uninterest, so she is uninterest if she star walking. But with 16 personalities there is no rule
This is how I get to know someone. I use it as my time to be random, spontaneous, and funny and helps set the mood for dinner so by the time we eat she's already relaxed.
Marvelous and informative... INTP who was married to an INFJ for 18 years (realized this after the fact), and had another three year relationship with an INFJ (and yes into fitness.. yoga instructor). INFJ stare...check. INFJ attractiveness (& allure)... check. INFJ gravity (or gravitas?)... absolutely. Would also add other-worldliness, and they give off an air of refinement and aloofness/ detachment that is very intriguing, particularly, I imagine, for INTPs (well don't have to imagine). They tend to have a unique and interesting style of dress but not over-the-top, but the attraction is more related their poise, the way they hold themselves, even when wearing pyjamas!
Have no trouble now picking them out in a crowd (female INFJs at least). Communication styles vary but I think that they also gel... INTPs want to get to the point but not in over-bearing 'this is correct/true' fashion and are happy to meander along with the INFJ, and for their part believe INFJs appreciate that we are not over-bearing in any respect, and that we give them the space and time (without judgment) for their Ni to manifest it's conclusions. As to INTP-INFJ relationships being DANGEROUS... oh yes but can't really resist... into the fire we go!
The phone call thing is fine as long as you keep the conversation positive. If most of the phone calls I have are just you dumping negative emotions ill stop answering and prefer texts because those negative thoughts stick with me after the call.
"They are energy/vibe computers" correct.
I think many INFJs do their best NOT to stare and to use FE heavily so as to make sure no one can SEE them. INFJS are the best at blending in a group as well. So...If you notice someone adjusting their communication style to people very flawlessly you found one! You will also notice that when finally alone or in between social interaction you get a very different and silent vibe all of a sudden.
Texting works great for me...I can form cohesive thoughts...although do not text back in a timely manner. One on one conversation comes in second. The phone is the tool of the devil and I avoid talking on it at all costs. "Walk with me..." also accurate😎
Texting. I'm a kind of ambivert INFJ - I can turn it on with the social butterfly thing, people seem to enjoy my company. Partnered for 21 years with a suspected ESFP. Opposites attract! As an INFJ you always feel different so it's good to have some kind of validation. But inside, I really crave being alone, and love time spent in my own company "in my head". Even when I'm socialising I have half my mind developing my Ni. My socialising is with groups of known people, I hate large noisy venues of strangers where I get sensory overload,. Therefore, I don't like being dragged back into the real world so I discourage texting. Everyone: "Where have you been, I can never get a hold of you".
Intp's are so different than most people in how they think, speak, process things that I, an infj people connoisseur, can find myself totally mesmerized by them. I love to study them. They are like a tough cipher to crack. I have to learn their humor, quirks and many other nuanced things to be able to interact with them in a meaningful way. It's like learning a new language. And I think the feeling is mutual. They find me curious and ask 'why' a lot which is difficult for me to explain in terms they can understand but we eventually get there. I love the challenge and our friendship(s) are extremely rewarding when we can learn from each other.
Oh and a big point here is I am "sapiosexual" so I fall hard because of their intelligence, wit and sense of humor.
Everything you said was accurate. I can’t stand texting. It feels so artificial. There’s no flow or depth to any conversation. And the only way to communicate your emotions is with emojis, which feel disingenuous. On top of that, the grammar rules for texting are different than actual writing, meaning I have to find a way to communicate long winded ideas without sounding passive aggressive. All this to say, I burn out really easily when talking online, which is why it takes me so long to respond. -INxJ
Yes, face to face is best. Texting works well , but I do not enjoy phonecalls.
Thank you for this! It was oddly emotional to feel seen. I've never heard anyone provide an account in quite this manner, much less an accurate one (my Ti thanks you, lol). -INFJ
Holly
This is brilliant. You picked up everything about us so perfectly
INFJ 💜: Quite accurate and surprised how you nailed the "talk-and-walk with me" scenario.
I do enjoy all forms of written communication very much but absolutely prefer visual/sound/energy aka "in person" or voice conversations, etc. - totally a better read and deeper connection with people this way... private and personal preferences factor in as well. Thanks for the video 😊
I'm an INFJ, I would say I'm actually pretty expressive when I text, and depending on who I'm talking to, I prefer it. But yes, face to face is my most preferred method of communication because then you'll also get what people are not saying to you. You get the whole picture that way. Calling me is good because the conversation flows faster, but that would be the only reason I would choose it over text.
INFJ here, I think we're mostly here because we all long to be profoundly understood but most people don't take the time to riddle us out. So thanks for that.
Lots of comments saying no calls, but if I'm more open with you and know you, I get way more enjoyment from calls (thatiknowaregoingtohappenlol). Your algorithm is spot on. Just don't call us when we're driving. Even if it's hands-free, we'll just die. I'm definitely better communicating my thoughts when writing, compared to talking, but I've also worked hard on the talking part.
Damn, your other videos are fucking weird, man.
How do they come off? This channel's been more a journal than anything else, and these last few years have been formative and stressful
I can understand that. This'll be limited in depth, since I only sampled a few that caught my eye, but I think it's moreso the jaded+reclusive crowd in the comments, that the videos draw, in conjunction with your overarching tones of frustration that could be offputting to mbti ppl you are trying to garner. Who's to say our online lives can't be a mirror of the progression of our real lives though. Definite good news is that your humour is on point and youtubely unique 👍
It may also be that it's jarring how positive your outlook is doing the mbti stuff. Kind of stark in contrast to the rumination of earlier vids.
I would love to be approached with respect and asked great questions! And yes to the processing and no interrupting.
I'm an INFJ, I can't explain it but I LOVEEE INTP's!! I have 2 I get along with very well, I adore them sm and it feels totally mutual! I enjoy the pointedness and sincerity. It feels like I always know where I stand with them and that makes me feel so secure
The don't interupt component is SO FUCKING TRUE MY GOSH!!! I have friends that mean well but interrupt me and immediately I just stay quiet and reserve myself. If you can really LISTEN, omg you're goldeeennnnnn
This guy understands INFJ’s very well
You can call us, if we're really close. But if you just met, don't call HAHAHA I think what's best is to actually appoint a meeting together. Like a talk in a park, cafe, somewhere peaceful and serene. It's true, I can't connect through texting or chatting. It often feels dead for me, that's why I take years to reply.
I’m a INFJ married to a ENTJ for the past 25 years. He is one of the 15% that is worth being with. I enjoy your videos so keep them coming. Thank you!
So I met an INFJ online, I'm an ENTJ, but we ended up hitting it off well enough and became friends... maybe... Acquaintance. But we started chatting in Dm's and she immediately started asking a bunch of questions, which kinda set me off and made me pull back and raise my walls cause it crossed boundaries I wasn't expecting from such a new person.
It wasn't until rewatching your ENTJ video where you said "Entjs have boundaries, you can't go from 0 to 100 like with an INFJ"
And that's when it clicked and I went, "Oh, I'm a dumbass who should have suspected this would happen."
She also has an odd habit (perhaps not so odd to the average person) of complimenting me on the most random things.
Anyway, thanks for helping me to realize that I don't need to simply stonewall them because they are asking questions, it's just kinda what they do.
Hahaha i have a thing that if i think of a compliment i say it to the person, you never know what people are going through and if it’ll make them feel special. -infj
@@TheHappyNapkin yeah, I see that. But it just made me super sus about them and ask myself constantly “what do they want? Why are they trying to butter me up.” Etc. I’ve been guilt tripped and used too much to take much without suspecting there is some hidden fee.
It's a Ni-Ti thing to ask a lot of questions. They're trying to see if certain aspects of a conversation match up with what they know. It helps to sharpen Ni.
I've finally found one. An INTP, and it is :perfect:
Also, please never call an INFJ unless you're dead.
I enjoy this video, btw, the calmness soothes me. Thank you.
I like the rain in the background, the birds chirping, the sheep 🙌
Half of the people I meet are INFJ, lol I think I can only initiate conversations with INFJs to be honest, everyone else scares me 🤷🏾♂️
The ‘dead stare’ 🤦🏼♀️ the ‘dead text’ 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ yes!!! When I’m around people, it probably looks this way because Fe is kicking in HARD!!! It feels like a churning, deeply empathic and like I’m digesting the other person. You know that feeling after a large meal. You can’t do anything, you’re just feeling your way through in the moment. The reason I think my INTP’s like us is because once we’re done ‘digesting’...our Ti kicks in and we can crank out all that we’ve gathered with equal intelligence. I Love writing and I do research and blogging. But yes it’s cold. But texting and short had... only AFTER I’ve taking someone/something in fully. Once I know you, once I trust you and there’s a relationship. Then text is fine. I’d still rather in person ever time but it gets easier. If you want to see us come alive, and get very hot?...reach in and ask us the effect that something has on us. Or how things relate to each other on the metaphysical. Anything meta really. Anything that brings things together and has the potential to elegantly weave together seemingly disparate concepts into broader and meaningful overarching theories that have been developed through a process of induction, ground up, refined thematically and systematically applied in real life...🤤
We only care to speak face to face or, if we have to, over a call if we really care about you. Otherwise, if it's just information we prefer the efficiency of texting
You're cute. I like listening to you.
When you were talking about what would an infj do when you ask them that question i was doing the exact same things after i listened to that question. You were very accurate.
About the texting thing, no not me. Being alone feels more comfortable to take my time to think and give more genuine, more mesured answers. Plus people make me nervous, especially if i like them romantically and i'll be acting weird and my true self won't show.
Right?? When he said a good infj question would be that I immediately started looking up and thinking about how I would answer. It’s the PERFECT infj question.
Infj here. I agree with most of your points. About phone call versus text- phone is a bad idea for initially starting to talk as that would put my anxiety through the roof, trying to quickly determine why an acquaintance would be doing something so personal as calling. I would have to operate under the possibility in future that the intp is trying to form a close relationship and probably romantic. It could be useful to make one’s intentions known that way, but if they don’t know you at all it could force the infj to put up barriers very quickly. It’s also just very uncomfortable getting to know someone over the phone without being able to see the intp’s interest in a topic, or having visual prompts to come up with conversational topics. That said, yes phone is much preferred once the relational dynamic has been clearly defined.
Also, as for texting coldly, I have learned to disguise that by utilizing emoticons and guiding the conversation toward topics that I am deeply invested in. But I extremely limit both when I’m texting someone I am not wanting or ready to develop anything with. Too many people try to establish a meaningless connection so it is a defense mechanism to initially text in a removed or neutral way. But say my crush texted me for the first time. Since I have already established intuitively that I want to be closer (assuming a relationship wouldn’t be forbidden) then from the start I do not believe my texting would come off as cold or removed. Apart from those distinctions, I found your observations remarkably on point.
I met mine on OkCupid (A dating site) after I noticed she was the only girl that even came CLOSE to answering as many questions as I had. :)
Had to message her a 2nd time after the first message didn't lead to much, but I found her later and just couldn't let this interesting woman go by, so I reached out again and that time, it worked and now we're married!
Nailed it; 100!
Yessss yes. Yes. Seeing you explain it and understand it so accurately, so acutely, it's such a relief i- I actually found it *exciting!* Moving. 'either presently detached or detachedly present';'not meandering' but 'doing something';
youve got a good system! I would say i prefer conversations over a platform like discord. Not texting it's too impersonal. Something big enough to express what I want, but allows me to connect in a quiet house and prepare my communications, which all infjs struggle with. We are better writers than communicators. It's like what you said about the questions. We will stop and process, almost never answering right away or fully. That being said, deep one-on-ones are my bread and butter. I could never trade those. We also tend to prefer in person because we can readily gleam more information than over text. The tone of your voice, the knit of your brow, the way your leaning, which words are emphasized. In a sense we are looking for your code, looking for your tell; I think we feel we lose that information over a screen, and we also feel limited at giving that information ourselves if we aren't face to face.
(Ex. I even enjoyed how you called us weird. From time and context, that's a compliment, not a slight. And we so want to be complimented for our uniqueness, instead of the usual criticisms and unacceptance)
Also has anyone told you your voice kind of sounds like Dr. Reid? (CM) 💕
Ah, the desire for verbal communication is so accurate. IDK what to do with texts, but in person, once I have figured you out with the surrounding context, it's so easy for the conversation to flow.
INFJ here. I like the 'energy vibe computers' part :)
«They look like zombies» I begun laughing because it is true
All of what you said are correct! Especially the part about us being afraid of people and the text thing! (INFJ)
The texting thing varies! We as introverts don't like phone talk...privacy interrupted...I feel I'm extremely expressive in texting. Just like I'm talking...but I certainly prefer face to face when I can go out and interact yes.
It's so amazing that you understand us so well.
Everyone needs to know this!
Deep questions are the gates to my heart. - INFJ
Anyone else notice that he has skyrim running in the background?
You sir, are impressively perspecive
Well, I'm an INFJ and I think the reason we're/ or seem alluring is because we have such a detached expression but very "seeing" and active eyes that it makes us seem mysterious yet intelligent
and hence why ppl might gravitate towards us (its just what i think, i'm not a psychologist) and the reason we're aware of societal dynamics is cuz we very well read people's body language and attitude towards other ppl and the reason we are uncomfortable meeting strangers is probably cuz its a whole new identity being introduced in our small world and our subconscious goes into hyperdrive trying to figure the new person's energy and we become wary of what energy this new person might bring to the table since we are very susceptible to people's energy and YET we're still somehow comfortable interacting despite being total introverts is probably cuz we can see their attitude towards us and steer the conversations acc to their wants and successfully avoid conflict
this is the longest comment i've ever written and as i said i'm not a professional, i just wrote what i think is right and i would rly love if other INFJs comment on this
Me: don’t interrupt, RUDE! -INFJ
You are spot on when it comes to communication. As an INFJ, I was told many times whenever I send a text or message that I sounded cold. I do prefer to talk to people face to face and look in their eyes while I talk to them and vice versa. I look at what's behind those eyes and like you said, absorb their energy.
INFJ here, your video is spot on.
Was pretty shocked to hear some spot on things about me so thanks. nice to know that other intps give their thoughts sometimes I feel like my bf doesn’t want to tell me much bc I talk way too much to him. Idk if it’s just me but I do love to hear compliments and this helps me feel seen at least with other intps I can get a better understanding why he’s around me a lot.
All of this is too complicated for me. I've let so many INFJ lady friends slip through my fingers that I'm kicking myself. I always thought it was the ENFJ I was supposed to be with. So I'd sit all day and night, hangin' with my INFJ lady friends, complaining bitterly that I couldn't find any ENFJs that were interested in me. Well, that's not all we talked about - we talked about everything under the Sun. And the Moon. And the Universe.
Sometimes they invited me out on dates, which I didn't really recognize as dates. We would go to lunch, we'd go to dinner, we'd go fishing all night, we'd go bar-hopping, sometimes I would go out with two INFJs at a time. Who knew.
Sometimes they would wander over to my house, plop themselves down (literally) on my loveseat and start chattering away as though I were their personal lifetime therapist.
I'm still totally unsocialized and still totally confused about the whole mating and dating thing. Even though I have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
I'm back in the dating world (have been for a long time, since INTPs really struggle with this), but if I ever come across another INFJ who even halfway has her head screwed on straight, I'll probably go ahead and settle.
Okay, technically speaking, no INFJs have their heads screwed on straight, so I'll just have to settle for them not being ax-murderers, drug dealers or ex-cons.
Now... where do I have to wander in order to have 50+ female INFJs find me? Because my finding them probably isn't going to happen.
I know they're not party animals so they won't be at the bars. I did meet one at the gym recently, but she was only 24. We had a nice, interesting conversation, but 24 is a far stretch even for me. I do meet ladies at the gym, but unless I ask, none of them will come out and say, "Hi, I'm an INFJ." The 24 yo only knew her personality type because she had a degree in psychology. Go figure. Don't they all have degrees in psychology?
We are hard to find… I spent the majority of my days at home with the exception of work, working out, going for a walk, a coffee shop, and bookstore, sitting somewhere in nature/landscape by myself… if you aren’t circulating those avenues you will miss us by a long shot.
Or if you happened to find me at a club with a large group of xSxJs, you’ll be able to confirm it’s an INFJ because we are likely watching the purses and boringly sitting in a corner refusing to walk through the dance floor a million times to go to the restroom a million times. We probably “look” like the least desirable person to get to know because we were dragged there to “fit in” our social circles while desperately dreaming of just taking off into the distance with you… we like one-on-one stuff in a quiet setting.
I prefer experiencing conversation verbally but when it’s not an option all expression will present be the email or text. Just found this channel. Very insightful videos, thank you.
Infj male - I’m 21 years old.
- The stare is something I’ve caught myself doing and have learned to only look when given an excuse like you said, lol.
- I do prefer in person talking because I tend to over analyze texts. I sometimes try to pull as much of their energy through their texts when in reality it could be that they were just in a rush or driving etc. learned to play it more simple to not mess with my mind.
Good video brother
I agree with your points. I am an Infj who hates texting. It feels superficial and not like i'm actually speaking to another human. BUT! If you call me out of nowhere i'm not going to answer.
If you want to connect with an infj without being face to face, text us and ask if you can call. An infj will want to make sure you're ok and doing well, so we will most likely say yes. Plus, it shows us that you understand our preferences and respect our need to disconnect without interruptions. We like it when people understand us just a little and shows that they're fine with us being a bit different from the majority of people in our society. It's nice to not have to put on a more socially acceptable front.
If we do text, don't expect us to confine to society’s norms of how long to wait before answering and shit. We don't care. If we consider someone a friend or romantic interest, we answer when we have the time and energy. We expect the people we like to understand that.
Me, an INFJ, feeling good about myself after the “They’re attractive” comment
I feel caught somehow! Staring if allowed or not noticable (yay sunglasses) and the response to "what is most important to you in life?" - scarily accurate. Literally a point-by-point description of how I imaged the conversation in my head seconds before he said it. Also, not being put off when chatted up randomly, as long as it is in a nice, friendly manner. Actually, I really like like talking to friendly strangers, but would never start up the conversation on my own. Deep topics right away? No problem. And out-of-the-blue random but thought provoking questions are really good. And yes, I would totally let that person walk with me (again, if I get a good vibe from them), but also never change the plans made before.
you have greater understanding of the infj than 99% of people. some of what you said blew my mind, "how the hell did he know that"
I met your first ENTJ videos and most of the analyzes and opinions you found about us were so accurate that I was surprised because I did not expect such a result. I thought I was an INTJ for a long time too because of my introversion, but after a lot of explanation and research, I realized that I was an ENTJ and realized how misunderstood we were due to misinformation on the Internet. I'm posting it under the INFJ video, sorry INFJs.
Okay, so perhaps this is too late, but one thing I’ve noticed about ENTJs in my life is that they often believe themselves to be introverts. However, I have a thought on this-correct me if I’m wrong.
Most of the ENTJs I have met make decisions based on what is most efficient (Te function).
However, most people aren't efficient enough to an ENTJ’s degree, which frustrates them.
This frustration often leads to isolation because ENTJs realize that explaining their thoughts to others would be as pointless as talking to a goat (completely useless). This isolation then makes them think they are introverts.
But if you were placed in a group of people as efficient as you, you would love being surrounded by them-sometimes (or most of the time) leading the group and sometimes simply absorbing what others have to say to improve yourself.
- Intp
The skyrim background with audio and everything....perfect
Just me wondering why my infj always just randomly starts walking away mid conversation. “Oh...you want me to come with...you...”
- intp
(infj) love the calm voice with occurances of slight excitment. it really relaxes me for whatever reason
I wish I knew this earlier. Kept an INFJ for about 4 years, strictly through the internet, of course. What kind of fool walks out of their house nowadays anyway? But that's beside the point. She was so off putting. I imagined her being rational and driven by personal gains. I was wrong. She did have feelings, quite a lot. Kinda freaked me out at first when I started digging into her seriously. Everything you mentioned in this video allowed me to connect missing spots in her case, thank you for that.
Also, this is my second video but I'm already starting to consider myself being "part of my core audience". I'll try to provide some assistance in the future as well.
INTJ (probably maybe who knows), 23 y.o.
You are correct about everything except texting. I prefer texting to communicate with most people except those one or two people that I’m most intimate with. Those such as my wife get the short disconnected texts. If you call me, I won’t answer my phone.
That was incredibly accurate!
As an infj, I can't text ppl, but I can soak energy while texting ppl I got used too for a while, also hate small talks especially texting or calling.
I'm INFJ....this is impressively accurate. The energy transfer, the stare (lol), the texting...all on point. Well done.
I'm getting super curious now what this phenomenon is about? I keep hearing that INTPs are attracted to INFJs and I never would have guessed that. What are we attributing this to? And why is it dangerous? -curious INFJ
INTPs and INFJs seem naturally to befriend and fall for each other. I don't know why. It just happens. INTPs like how understood and appreciated INFJs make them feel, and INFJs seem to enjoy soaking INTPs' energy/logic/kindness/innocence. INTP-INFJ is the "golden pairing," and it is golden, but its depth is golden, not its longevity.
INTP-INFJ relationships firing on all cylinders hit emotional/mental depths no other humans will. Ever. Period. But, in my experience, in other INTPs' experiences, and in other INFJs' experiences, these relationships always end with the immature one hurting the giving one, leaving the giving INTP/INFJ traumatized, confused, and craving closure they'll never find. Maybe the high is worth the hurt? I don't know.
I still love INFJs to pieces, and vice versa it seems, and I love falling into casual friendships/relationships with them because we communicate so effortlessly, but trusting one to that extent? I wish I could
@@Skimmerlit Nice assessment. I've never dated an INTP. I've also seldom had them in my sphere in general. That's changing, though, as I'm moving into the sciences and a.i. industry. So it's interesting to contemplate.
I find an attraction, certainly, though i notice that of the NT types INTJ and ENTP are the most familiar and easy to get along with. INTJ sees the world in much the same way, recognizable reasoning. ENTP takes us off our guard and brings refreshing approaches and perspectives.
I love the way that INTPs think, but their processing feels foreign. Maybe that's that difference that can't be bridged? Still exploring it.
INFJ here...I only like scheduled phone calls! I mostly prefer to text and enjoy emojis to add emotional energy to the interaction.
I can attest to the dynamics between INTPs and INFJs presented here. Female INFJ and always feel inexplicably attracted to INTPs. Agree with the staring part. I love this INTP and wanted to look at him more but he is so introverted and seldom speaks in the group that we're in that it is always a point of agony for me. Thankfully, this urge can be satisfied when speaking one-on-one to INTPs. Also, always prefer face-to-face. Texts over phone, though agree that can appear cold and distanced through texts. Phone calls are annoying for two reasons - one, it is unscheduled and unexpected; second, I suspect we do not hear people's words and we do this weird 'absorbing' thing. The part about not breaking plans is true. We usually follow through with what is planned and don't mind fitting other things in between.
I can relate to it when you said that INFJ is cold and dead in texts. Two of my friends told me already that they don't know if they are talking to a robot or something. I just realized that again when another friend told me that recently (I got 3 lol). Aside that I want to be on point thru text, being concise and concrete, I also don't use too much emojis bcos I think they are not that necessary and I don't like the text being decorated lol one and two is enough. I get lazy at typing sometimes and am not expressive in texts or in social media. Yet I am different in person bcos I always want to see the sincerity or the behavior of the person I am talking to. I don't want any misunderstandings thru a screen.
Edited: Also, I have the zombie stare too. lol. You are on point. - INFJ
Married to an INFJ, and all past girlfriends were INFJs. My experience is that they don't have an issue with being interrupted, as long as you introduce fun tangential ideas that turn their sunday stroll of a thought process into a saturday expedition into the unknown. -ENTP
I'm an INFJ (answering your question at the end 😛) and i'm so flattered by your description ! It was super accurate ! Except phone calls , i hate them 😂 i prefer texts (where i can be super warm & expressive) or face to face talks which are much better
INFJ here. Into health. Not into fitness. Wish I was. I mean, I walk a lot. But fitness is out of my comfort zone. I have exercise equipment that I don't use that hopefully one day I will!