3 Ways Narcissists Condition You To SELF SABOTAGE

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  • Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
  • Are YOU Ready to Overcome Self Sabotage as well as the side effects of narcissistic relationships?
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Комментарии • 81

  • @drppr76
    @drppr76 2 года назад +74

    Never tell a narcissist about any good news about anything in your life and never ever tell a narcissist about any goals or aspirations you have
    If you can't avoid them it's best to go gray rock around these people

    • @taraarrington2285
      @taraarrington2285 2 года назад +12

      Yes it really sucks anything good about you they will minimize and any mistake you've made they will maximize so invalidation is their game as long with gas lighting and triangulation anything to try to make you feel small that's what makes them feel big I guess

    • @truthdecay3438
      @truthdecay3438 2 года назад +8

      i've learned to not do that & your comment just gave me that confirmation. thank you :)

    • @stevenkovler5133
      @stevenkovler5133 2 года назад +4

      This goes right to the comment I just posted!

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 2 года назад +8

      @@taraarrington2285 Do 1,000 things right and no one will remember. Do 1 thing wrong and no one will forget.

  • @suni8891
    @suni8891 9 месяцев назад +7

    They cause you to doubt yourself and this leads to not accomplishing your goals because you stop believing in yourself.

    • @missionlibertéfinancière
      @missionlibertéfinancière Месяц назад

      Absolutely, I just began to realize it. Narcissitic abuse on childhood is more likely to cause CPTSD which consolidates self sabotage

  • @helenshg4580
    @helenshg4580 2 года назад +28

    I have experienced self sabotage & I understand how it works. My older half sister (from my mother's first marriage) ran me down constantly & told me to shut up because she couldn't stand to hear my voice. I froze up because I was afraid to speak for over 50 years. I couldn't break free from the fear.
    Then my half sister died from cancer. Soon after that I started talking to people. People noticed the change in me. It was like a curse was lifted off of me. My subconscious mind registered my half sister as the threat. After she passed away, my subconscious mind registered the threat as being removed.
    I can relate to the truth of your message. I was sabotaged for over half a century. Actually some of the sabotage is still with me. But at least a major part of the sabotage was removed.

  • @sylvierenaud875
    @sylvierenaud875 2 года назад +50

    This is the answer i have been looking for 50+ years. I thought that it was ADHD but no its the childhood programing/survival mode in the subconscious! And yes my narcissistic parents did tell me some horrible things. School did not help. Now I understand!

    • @FromSurvivingToThriving
      @FromSurvivingToThriving  2 года назад +7

      So glad it helped!!!!!!

    • @peke1822
      @peke1822 Год назад +1

      For me its the same, I also think sometimes its adhd but also a result of my parents' treatment towards me

    • @drebugsita
      @drebugsita Год назад +2

      Fascinating. I'm diagnosed ADHD but I know there are theories that its all just trauma/CPTSD.

  • @raymondblaquiere9137
    @raymondblaquiere9137 8 месяцев назад +2

    That was amazing advice. I remember getting a second place Trophy and my father telling me why didn't you come in first and then he turned his back

  • @ThereIsAlwaysaWay2
    @ThereIsAlwaysaWay2 2 года назад +20

    I was always punished when I would success anything .

    • @FromSurvivingToThriving
      @FromSurvivingToThriving  2 года назад +6

      It's awful parenting - no child should have to go through that!!!! So sorry you too had to experience that!!!

    • @truthdecay3438
      @truthdecay3438 2 года назад +1

      im there with you! most times when i did good & kind things or even bad & wrong things, metaphorically, i got spit with eggs in my face along with brass knuckles.

    • @ThereIsAlwaysaWay2
      @ThereIsAlwaysaWay2 2 года назад +3

      @@truthdecay3438 The worse for me was not being punished for the bad, or barely punished, but INTENSELY punished for the good or when I would do something beneficial like putting money on the side at the bank, winning a gold medal at track and field, etc. You know, things normal parents are proud of, I was punished.

    • @sybersandy
      @sybersandy 2 года назад +2

      Same here!:(
      I am so incredibly furious when I think back what was done to me.

    • @truthdecay3438
      @truthdecay3438 2 года назад

      @@ThereIsAlwaysaWay2 i was punished after i did good & bad, right or wrong.

  • @larissamezo6921
    @larissamezo6921 2 года назад +25

    I made the mistake of telling my narc mother a future goal. For years she told me i shouldnt be working in an office but that im artistically gifted and should pursue this. Fast forward many years later, i finally quit my job, started to work on my art, had ideas how to sell it etc. Felt super motivated. Then i shared what had bedn happening with her and what im doung and how i was going to chsnge it all abput to earn sn income off of my dreams. Not one shed of support, no encouragement. Shes basically shown me she hasnt even heard what ive said. - and now after listening to this video, i csn see thats where the sabotaging kicked in. 2023 i need to change this!

    • @ThisOldeThing
      @ThisOldeThing 2 года назад +5

      “She’s basically shown me she hasn’t even heard what I said” 💯 this there’s no listening and it’s shocking because you probably thought when you did what she had said you should do (your art) she would actually listen and pay attention.

    • @larissamezo6921
      @larissamezo6921 2 года назад +3

      @@ThisOldeThing yes omg exactly!! Thanks. X

    • @drebugsita
      @drebugsita Год назад +2

      Very true. As you know, don't take it as a reflection of you - I know it can feel hurtful though. My mom's only "encouragement" on my art path is "you'll have to hustle" - wow, gee thanks. I felt doom. With my dad I always got encouragement and absolute support (he passed). Guard your dreams and goals like the treasures that they are, and tend to them. Our most important relationship is with ourselves.

    • @ekkamailax
      @ekkamailax Год назад +2

      I can relate. They’ll say and do things to make it seem like they support you, but when you actually start getting results it triggers this rage within them.

    • @reneec9947
      @reneec9947 Год назад

      Everytime someone complimented my art my mum when I was a teen she had to make it about her by saying, it's not my style but I can see I have potential. At age 13 I was doing art everyday when I told my mum I wanted to be an artist. I got a sarcastic condescending laugh and was told by her I needed to get a real job. So I did and slowly died inside and stopped being creative.
      At age 45 (2021) I realised that my mum was a Narc, bro Golden child and me the scapegoat and that her words led me on this path and so I have been working hard to break through it. Last year started to do art and experiment again. I keep pushing through the doubt and fears but have got a therapist to help with my final stages to set up my business.
      We can do it...We got this...we just gotta push through it all💪👏🙌

  • @xiaoxi-chelsea-akiko434
    @xiaoxi-chelsea-akiko434 Год назад +3

    Yep, here goes to all the opportunities I lost in childhood! I am making them up in my 30s

  • @jenniferclemente1516
    @jenniferclemente1516 2 года назад +20

    This just happened to me after being divorced for 2 years I was weak because of surgery and the ex came back and showed his old self so I am dwindling down contact hoping to go no contact very soon

  • @trishabee2229
    @trishabee2229 Год назад +2

    I am working on a constant state of fear. I have to sign up for your class.

  • @siirifani4ever
    @siirifani4ever 2 года назад +11

    Understanding how it works is the key to bringing it from unconscious into the conscious mind

    • @FromSurvivingToThriving
      @FromSurvivingToThriving  2 года назад +4

      Exactly - we cannot change what we do not understand

    • @truthdecay3438
      @truthdecay3438 2 года назад +1

      @@FromSurvivingToThriving i figuring out where in the process for myself. i cant get back to therapy right now & am trying to figure out how to stop my lip | mouth chewing -- morsicatio buccarum.

  • @norobbery
    @norobbery 2 года назад +17

    Thank you so much for all your help over the past trying year! There were many lonely, confusing nights, and the days weren't that great either. It took the entire year to get my ex, for the most part, out of my system. Let 2023 be a new day for everyone who has been (or still is) suffering. Don't worry, the light will come in and the shadows will flee, and people like Michele help make it all possible.

    • @LakeishaMonique
      @LakeishaMonique 2 года назад +3

      I am praying for us all to not only survive but thrive.

  • @danitaoliver264
    @danitaoliver264 2 года назад +4

    Michelle, I want to get back to my life, this person is living their best life........ I'm in Isolation....... and feel so powerless to do anything about it........... it's so unfair. I wanted to get Dressed up to go to a function........can't even get out of my P. J.'s. Already my Body is sending those Messages to me, the Discomfort of just thinking about it. Thank You, So much........I know you've got the Answers for us. Michelle I'm Ready n Willing to do the Work. I Hope your still doing the 7# Day Trial for your Thriver's School. I just need Guidance from Someone who Understands!!!!♡ Thanks Michelle ♡

  • @chris_77796
    @chris_77796 2 года назад +7

    It‘s so sad! But important to see!!

  • @cdgross5480
    @cdgross5480 2 года назад +3

    Excellent. Now we must retrain our brains. This is hard, but worth the effort.

  • @sarahsoprano773
    @sarahsoprano773 2 года назад +5

    Michelle you have a healer gift. Praise God

  • @debraaman6026
    @debraaman6026 2 года назад +9

    This is incredibly eye-opening and helpful. Thank you! ♡

  • @emptydog1109
    @emptydog1109 Год назад +1

    Thanks, Michelle, I’ve been listening to you and others, including Dr. Ramani. I appreciate you so much. You’re so educated in the unit license and present things so well.. I think about my ex my narcissist is that she was disabled as long as I’ve known her, which is 24 years now we’ve been divorced for almost 5, or maybe six in August. So, with all these narcissistic personality traits, she also promotes the time I knew her couldn’t cook or clean or get her self to and from work, so I have no life you don’t have a life of narcissist, but I really hate 11:44 your life now I’m trying to put my life together after having no life. I am 64.. thanks Michelle keep up the good work

  • @tonywords6713
    @tonywords6713 8 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this really nice explanation

  • @user-pb8ec9gy2x
    @user-pb8ec9gy2x 2 года назад +20

    they set you up for failure and then in other peoples eyes it's all your fault and other narcissists are constantly laughing at you and bullying you for it

  • @GOnone-yk1to
    @GOnone-yk1to 2 года назад +1

    That was a really great analysis. Self sabotage is extremely confusing. Great video

  • @drebugsita
    @drebugsita Год назад +1

    You describe it so clearly. As much as I appreciate my therapist its videos like this that really help me understand what I have been through, which helps me appreciate that its not my fault and what I experienced was real and harmful

  • @etiquetteconnoisseur6184
    @etiquetteconnoisseur6184 Год назад

    This is the best way I have heard this explained. Thank you.

  • @theveryplumdarcey
    @theveryplumdarcey 2 года назад +2

    This is excellent. Thank you for taking the time to make the video.

  • @patrickdaigle5239
    @patrickdaigle5239 2 года назад +1

    Thank you 😊

  • @chaosa.d.7437
    @chaosa.d.7437 2 года назад +1

    This is good I need more content on fixing me because you can’t fix them.

  • @maryjanerx
    @maryjanerx Год назад

    This is so helpful!!!

  • @stevehopkins1645
    @stevehopkins1645 Год назад

    Thanks for sharing your experience. And, I think you're beautiful ♥just a compliment, have a good day..

  • @lovelybrown3217
    @lovelybrown3217 2 года назад +3

    Dear michelle for all your video's this year who helpt me a lot. I wish you a wonderfull New year. 💗💫

  • @syedj4227
    @syedj4227 2 года назад +2

    Live from heart not mind listen soul voice that what helping me in my healing journy society trained our mind since when we were child

  • @stevenkovler5133
    @stevenkovler5133 2 года назад +2

    This happened today to me. I sent my separated wife some comments as texts on some posts she put up on Instagram . She out little hearts next to them.
    Then I reaponded with another text saying I loved her and I would send her and her kids and grandkids to a place she wanted to go to but did not have the $$. I said I would send them in February after I got my bonus.. she responded with a thumbs up… now I am all anxious and upset, that I should just have left it at her hearts and not replied …. I always go that extra step that then makes me think I sabotaged her heart replies !

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Год назад +1

      People pleasing is a form of self sabotage. We try to prove our worth when we shouldn't have to. 🙏🙋

  • @saracroft2589
    @saracroft2589 2 года назад

    ♥️ this is very true ♥️

  • @leafyveins4985
    @leafyveins4985 8 месяцев назад

    I used to not believe anyone was truly evil... I would always say that deep down, they were a good person.
    Then I dated a malignant narcissist.

  • @Somatic-wisdom
    @Somatic-wisdom Год назад

    I would love to know when the sale happens again so that I can join as finances are not flowing atm. thank you!

  • @danitaoliver264
    @danitaoliver264 2 года назад +1

    Michelle, it's my hope that you will extend that 50% off a little longer next time..........as I had no idea that it was 1/2 off the price.......I would've jump on this opportunity. Please think about it again Michelle, Please?!!!!♡

  • @karenholtzclaw3135
    @karenholtzclaw3135 2 года назад

    My daughter talks to me that way...

  • @sonnyca
    @sonnyca 2 года назад +4

    I’m having a tough time getting through to my therapist. I’m afraid I’m overwhelming them. How should I talk to a therapist while keeping my emotions tempered? I can go on and on because of what I’ve been through.

    • @FromSurvivingToThriving
      @FromSurvivingToThriving  2 года назад +2

      I would hope your therapist can handle strong emotions being shared - and hold a safe space for you to do that. Please try to not worry about overwhelming them.... your focus should be on what you need. At the same time if you feel as if your nervous system goes out of control when you are talking you may want to look into somatic experiencing - it's an amazing modality that helps either therapists or coaches to help their clients rewire their nervous system after trauma!!!

    • @sonnyca
      @sonnyca 2 года назад

      @@FromSurvivingToThriving Thank you, your kind advice is much appreciated.

  • @danitaoliver264
    @danitaoliver264 2 года назад +1

    Michelle, Love your content, I've saved this and Shared it a couple of times. I would love to try your School, it seems like it would be the answer for me. This video helps me know "WHY", I FEEL SO EXPOSED, UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN I'M TRYING TO GET BACK TO MY LIFE, I RUN BACK TO MY CUBBIE HOLE, ISOLATION IS WHAT IT IS, AND IT'S SO STRONG IN MY BODY, I REALLY NEED TO WORK WITH YOU. ARE THERE GRANT'S OR ANY OTHER PROVISION FOR US TO ACCESS YOUR SCHOOL, PERHAPS A WORK PROGRAM.......ANYTHING??????♡ PLEASE!!!!♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

  • @adamcefalu9430
    @adamcefalu9430 2 года назад

    I think I could fully heal if this woman would be my girlfriend lol! She sure makes it easy to watch these videos

  • @lady_in_red8619
    @lady_in_red8619 5 месяцев назад

    I didn't undestood why every time I was doing fine at a job, mama comes and say things and do thing to make me feel bad, unconforable and then angry, and depress. Then this feelings and state of mind made me start to making mistakes, being angry with my coworkers and friends. Also her made me waste my money by manipulation, in her, her home and my brothers, by made me feel guilty for have success and money, but at the same time, make me look like a selfish and mad person in the eyes of my family members.. My Godness! but the sadest thing is that nobody see neither believe it. Everybody said oh she is shuch a a good mother and you an horrible person blablabla. Sooo... I ended quiting jobs or geting fired, And then the cicle continued, till I realice she maibe was jealous because I was fine and happy and have my money to buy nice things for me... and I eventually would be going away from her. But Im still stuck here... 😢

  • @mariaboswell5596
    @mariaboswell5596 2 года назад

    i need help with healing don't really know I just know i have not made progress moved forward in my life since I have took my mother out of my life am almost 47 still dealing with all she did and allowed others to do to me

  • @1Brooklyn2Many
    @1Brooklyn2Many 2 года назад

    This is why I need a Latina in my life 😍

  • @housakos10
    @housakos10 2 года назад +1

    🙏❤️😘

  • @dmoney668
    @dmoney668 Год назад

    Why does everyone say RIGHT?! You're awesome but that is a bad trend I don't get it

  • @MicroDotTV
    @MicroDotTV 2 года назад

    Happy New Year, Michele

  • @nowarm
    @nowarm 2 года назад

    Thank you very much