I realized recently that my mother not only feels threatened by my happiness or confidence, but actually NEEDS me to have low self esteem and be anxious all the time. It's a sad thing to see that your own mother actually doesn't want her children to be happy.
Wow! You described exactly how i have thought most of my life. But i pushed it to the side thinking no because shes my mum , why would she want that. But its true 😢
I am so sorry she treats you that way. I cut my parents off. Hopefully it’s not forever, but the pain I used to feel was so much more than the what I’m feel without them. For me, the MENTAL trade-off is totally worth it.
Me too if I talk to her and I’m in a good mood by the end of the phone call she bring me down but I have learned not to absorb her crap if you’re not living with him is a lot easier to do knowing my husband does it to me he’s a he’s pathologically is full blown and NPD it harder
I told my ex wife, "You can hate my ass all you want, but you need to go do it sitting on someone else's couch, sitting in someone else's house, ruining someone else's life."
yeah music helped me a lot, when years ago i had to eliminate any noises my former narc roomate was making delibaretelly, bc he knew it bothered me......he got so bored after a while and stopped, thankfully i soon mooved out :) I was having my best time, singing loudly to all my favourite songs, could not hear him at all any longer. but fyi it did not bother anyone else there, since my door was thick enough, but i also played radioin the kitchen for a better mood when cooking etc. it made him crazy not having my attention, but he tried to get it a few times but i then told him: listen, but i do not feel like talking to anyone today. or i do NOT WANT to talk now, then ignored him. i also once told him that nothing i do has anything to do with him, we are only sharing a house by chance and that he should live his life and i live mine and want to be left allone, only say hi and bye, nothing else. i had to put down Boundaries with him early on, like tell him to never knock my door unless in real emergencies, bc he was abusive initially like yelling at me and calling me horrible names, etc. or he tried making me feel responsible for his bad moods etc., for example bc i dared to wipe the floors in early afternoon, just bc he had stayed awake all night, then wanting to sleep all day. it was funny my landlady told him, we are not in a old age home, and if he did not like it, he could moove out. :D it was me who did though, since i found a very nice place in the Countryside. Thankfully i had allready learned lots about npd, when i experienced this, otherwise it would of been much more difficult for me to set these Boundaries etc.
YES!! Oh my gosh! I used to be happy when I woke up with my kids before he would come downstairs! When he came downstairs, I would immediately act less happy, kind of gloomy, because I knew that if I acted happy, he would be a jerk. That has been so hard to explain to people! It made me feel like the moody one, but I never was!!
You really nailed it. I use to get excited about socializing, because my soul really needed it. A narcissist will speak poorly about you beforehand and things just don't feel right while socializing. It's the craziest feeling. When you realize what is going on you lose all trust in the narcissist. You also have absolutely no desire to socialize with anyone associated with the narcissist. This leads to loneliness, anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, disdain. The sad thing is this effects every aspect of one's life. You could be someone so full of life and motivation to make the world a better place. In the end, you are a sad empty vessel with little to no desire to do anything.
take back your power by taking back responsibility for your life and happiness, do not make your happiness dependent on anything they or anyone outside you does.
happy to hear that, fellow thriver, imho gardening, etc. and focusing on the basics and ones simply being thankfully for life itself, allowing yourself to be content and happy with lifes simple joys, instead perfection also helps lots, ye can be proud of each step of your journey .....then let sun, water, nice cozy shelter, good food, music, etc. do the rest, so much to enjoy, and if someone has health thats a lot to be thankfull for as well. focusing on what one has instead on the lacks, farewell :=)
Yep! My narcissist would always build me up and then intentionally let me down. I lived in his house, no car, he didn’t want me to have a job. I was isolated. I would sit in the house cleaning, cooking, watching tv, feel like the walls were caving in on me. I would do this for weeks at a time. One day he might say, let’s go out today and do something. It was usually a Saturday. We lived in a beautiful happening city in Florida. It was NEVER “happening”for me, I was miserable. But I would get fixed up, get excited to go out and what his version of going out was, going to the post office while I sat in the car, walk around a store he wanted to go to and buy things for himself. Leave me sitting in the car forever while he went in somewhere. And to top it all off, he’d pull into a nice restaurant parking lot just to get my hopes up and he’d say, oh, I didn’t mean to pull in here. We would then pull into a convenient store for a loaf of bread and then go home and have me fix him a sandwich. He’d see how let down Id be and say, we’ll there’s no pleasing you is there? I finally take u out and this is how you act. There was a time I got all ready and fixed up to go out on my birthday and he tells me he’s taking me nowhere, all because I was so happy and excited. When I started to cry, he body slammed me on the hardwood floor. I was just miserable. But I’m finally out of that relationship after 7 years of isolation, manipulation, gas lighting and constant projection. To anyone who reads this, if you are in a relationship like that, the best thing you can do is RUN! It ONLY gets worse! Once the physical abuse started, I left a few weeks later.
That WAS ABSOLUTELY SWEET. PLEASE CHOOSE TO KEEP SHARING YOUR LOVE AND KINDNESS TO THE WORLD, AND EVERYONE THAT YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH, IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. I PRAY, HOPE, AND BELIEVE THAT YOU CHOOSE TO KNOW GOD FOR YOURSELF, AND CHOOSE TO KNOW THAT GOD IS REAL, ALIVE, AND WELL. AND THAT GOD TRULY DO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU AND SO DO I, IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. PLEASE CHOOSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ALWAYS. NO MATTER WHAT, AND PLEASE CHOOSE TO NOT LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE EVER STEAL YOUR JOY EVER AGAIN. AND PLEASE CHOOSE TO KNOW, TRUST, AND BELIEVE, THAT GOD IS REAL, ALIVE, AND WELL, IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN.
Michele is truly the most beautiful woman and soul in this fallen world. I thank God for creating such a lovely person who has helped and healed so many people, including me....... I also pray that Michele will be touched by Heavenly Father God one day and will find true Salvation through Lord Jesus Christ. It was God who led me to this channel as God answered my prayer....I pray Michele will encounter Lord Jesus too... then one day we will all have eternal life with God....experiencing true happiness forever without a single narcissistic people around us anymore. Michele, I just want to send you love, hugs and happiness and a big Thank You ! 🌹💕❤💕🌹💕❤💕🌹 I pray Lord God Jesus Christ bless you and protect you every moment of your life too. Even though you do not know your Beautiful Saviour Jesus Christ yet but He already loves you with an everlasting love as His beloved.🌹🌹🌹 Amen !
Had to pause this video at 7.18-'It's omission, it's what they don't do...'so true where dealing with my narc family is concerned. I remember a couple of years ago winning a landmark case against my former college for discrimination. To date it has been one of my biggest achievements and I was also awarded 4000 euros. My narc family never once congratulated me or offred to celebrate my victory. Narcs are empty vessels...
1:17 " can't get rid of all narcissists because they're everywhere" yes this is so true when I try to tell my therapist she doesn't understand what I'm saying
Dad was overt/Mother covert - should have left them in the dust decades ago. I continued getting sucked into these dynamics my ENTIRE life. It's horrible 😞
@@SoapsLuvr New age is a LIE that goes back to the garden of eden. For there is a way that seemeth right unto man but the end thereof is death. Don’t take the jabs it’s the mark of the beast which already comes in many different forms dont take anything they’re offering now or later!!! Read Revelation In The Bible translate Scriptures to Hebrew and Greek strongs concordance it’s all happening now!!!! Call upon Jesus Christ now while you still can repent and turn from all sin!!!! JESUS CHRIST IS COMING BACK VERY SOON AND Jesus Christ IS THE ONLY TRUTH THE ONLY LIFE AND HE IS THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN!!! God Loves you Soooo Muuuch buy it is each person’s choice where they wi spend eternity . It’s Heaven or hell there is no other place to go that is if the choice is yours don’t make the wrong choice
Both of my parents as well, please know it’s never too late to rebuild the life that YOU want. You’ve got this! This community wants to see you succeed. Who knows, your testimony may be what another needs to get themselves out sooner than you did. I know if I had someone help me understand my toxic family dynamic at a younger age, I would have gone no contact at 18 and never looked back but I didn’t out of love and “obligation.” So I’m now using my story to help others. The ultimate act of rebellion against them is taking the pain THEY inflicted and turn it into purpose and personal power. Sending much love and blessings ❤.
#2 is totally evident with me. After years of trauma and getting through codependency, I was able to find myself in a happy relationship with a good man and we got to travel together to Istanbul and no one in my family even expressed happiness for me . I have a lot of siblings and not one even asked me how my trip was when i got back. My boyfriend also found it so weird 😂
The ambient abuse, unspoken disdain, contempt, it's instinctively felt, without a reason, it's not a lesson it's just shaming.. without you making a cause for that treatment's effect. Stultifying
Really, it’s the insidious, covert emotional abuse that is the most difficult….😱 it comes along with any conversation or just about anything that we are required to engage in with a narcissist! 👿🐍 PS! Being a lover of gardening, I loved your gardening analogy! 🌱🌹💐🌷🌱
You have no idea how eye opening and helpful this video is for me! And the TIMING!!! I am going through this with my parents right now. It's life altering~ in a sad but very GOOD way ♥️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I always wondered why my husband was always in a good mood when I was in a bad mood and in a bad mood when I was good mood. Maybe it’s because of the enmeshed that occurred in my family. I even tried to send a video about this to my extended family. They were so confused by it. I even got a new job recently and I didn’t even want to tell me extended family because I knew they wouldn’t be happy for me. My mom knew though and she acted as though I didn’t get it and wanted me to get a newer job. Completely ignoring the struggle that I just went through to get my job. It really is damaging. Especially since it happened right after I had a panic attack. These people don’t quit. My extended family admires my husband and I admired him too but my house is literally failing apart. Sometimes small insects get in and bite us. The roof leaks in a couple of spots. However, he is really charming. I admit he love bombed me when we were dating because I didn’t know what it was at the time. I thought our love was going to grow even more when we got married, but the opposite thing happened. I used to think he had multiple personalities after we got married because he completely changed and I never knew which side of him I would get. But now I know that it’s all a performance. It does make me confused and when I am being invalidated it brews in me. I think he did struggle for many years to make a life for himself without me to fling negativity into. I don’t know who I can trust anymore. Being around people is negative and bad. I am more comfort being by myself but then what’s the point of being married?
healthy rl are all about enjoying life together, laugh together, grow together, freely, yet reliable, wanting each other in mutual lifes, choosing, but not needing to fill blanks, whether emotional, sexual or material, its not about expectations, entitlement from either side or worse using and abusing or possesing
Jesus loves you. Surrender the Lead for your Life to Him. You can allways speak with Him as you would to a good Friend. There is only one mediator between God The Maker of ALL Life, its Jesus Himself and Him we need and His Word which is the Water of Life. We can not justify ourselves from our own Works, only in Trusting in what He did for us and His Lead in Life, Rest in His Mercy. You are made righteous and washed clean by Him giving His Life, if you trust in That His GREATEST WORK of unddeserved Mercy, not sinnfull fellow Humans or some Organisation. Do not let any Person mislead you or take that from you, we are free from Works of Law. We are justified by Faith. The good Works of the Spirit come, but naturally out of Joy after being "born again" through accepting His Mercy, and He gives us HIS Spirit of Truth and His Word which is the Water of Life. Then they come naturally out of Joy, not from Obligation, Force and def. not out of Scared from still not being saved.....!!!! must and should=should as in benefitial are totally two different things,
Its so cool you still make videos! You pulled me out of the post no contact funk 3 years ago. I finally won full custody and a 5 year restraining order in oct 2021. :) .. i think i found you when looking for how to compose yourself in court against the narcissist.
So true! You explained the miserable tortuous life I had with the malignant narcissist I thankfully divorced. He sabotages, is a contrarian, and intentionally destroys and ruins your peaceful happy mood And celebrations. He’s goes between covert and overt Ignoring, neglecting, stonewalling, silent treatment,and acting indifferent to situations good or bad in your life in order to incite ,antagonize, and make his victim feel unworthy, useless, invisible,and unimportant . Then when he’s ruined your mood or made you feel worse he will act overly happy and the clueless unaware victim or bystander as he then triangulates with others smear campaigning and blame shifting everything he’s doing and done back onto his victim..making you look like the “crazy, bad guy “, “ saying come on guys, hurry let’s go get away from her, or him .. she’s ruining our fun time” after he intentionally set you up to react To his sadistic tactics to break you.
Thank you for explaining that so well ! My ex wife that I was married to for 27 years, did the same. We had 5 children ( actually the first was 3 when we married, but I considered him my son and he considers me dad. ) They will exploit your weaknesses and your strengths. Drain you of your energy, destroy everything and everyone you love. They don't care about how they damage their own children. It seems supernatural or demonic.
My gf soon to be ex. Once I secure my reboot funds. Tried to stonewall last night. I just didn't give a crap LOL it's funny to finally realize they're different from some one who actually feels emotion and is realistic. A bit of fair justified revenge. I will get out once I can and they will get a little bonus time from me at least in this home and me & my best stuff will be long gone before they realize if I pull it off halfway decently.
Five years past some strange days. 3 times the time spent with dark persuasion of a textbook narc. it is simply fabulous to have chaos free life. Fully engaged and fullfilling in so many ways yet a boring day is fantastic time spent. That is when you can be creative, play some music, hone your sanctuary & get continuing education, right here i might add, while not in a frantic effort to clear the fog. Ahhhh zen...
Hi! I’m married to a Narcissist for 57 years! I’ve had enough abuse. He is just like and I have responded exactly like you said. Thank you for your videos for I do not want to waste another minute thinking there is no hope for me. I am a child of God and will get back to my old self of joy and happiness through my Jesus and Savior, in spite of my husbands manipulation to control. No longer am I the cause of his unhappiness. God Bless! .
I wish there was a law against these abusers. I would totally take my so called Mother to court. Fuching B! I can’t believe how can a Mother be like this! It’s unacceptable!!
Great video! Both of my parents are covert narcissists and it was a very enmeshing family system. My parents are big on concern trolling me about my decisions and have often told me that I won't have their love and support if I don't do what they think I should do . My ex used to control how others saw me, and make me look like the needy, incompetent and lazy one, by the tactics mentioned here. Both my mom and dad emotionally manipulated me. But, I have realized that, even though my dad promotes both he and my mom as the nicest couple, he has always managed to make my mom look like the bad guy in the relationship.
"Concern trolling" that is an interesting term - it might describe what my covert narc. parents do to me. Do you mean something like "Are you okaaayyy? If you need our heeeellllpppp please let us know, we'll be glaaaadddd to help you" (and as the adult-child, if I'm suffering, sure I'd love to be helped, but knowing they're covert-narcs, the flip-side of the coin is they always charge a "price" for their "help" which always ends up hurting me!)
@@SoapsLuvr Exactly, well said! I've seen my parents also do this with extended family and friends. Saying they're concerned about a relative just serves to make my relative look dysfunctional and themselves look like the functional ones. And I remember my dad complaining about a neighbor being ungrateful because they wouldn't take his advice when he was helping them out. They also "helped" my cousin leave his enmeshed situation with my aunt, but then they were expecting him to check in with them and spend more time with them. Stay strong, this is such an insidious from of manipulation.
Your looking quite relaxed and pleasant today.success breeds success. You deserve every last drop of it.until we change our subconscious beliefs nothing gets better.good luck michelle🐻🐼
I can complete relate to the point where you mention how they triangulate and do things for other people but not for you and make the other people hate you and then when you react you’re crazy smh
The thing I learned from dealing with a few narcissists that I believe we all have to learn from dealing with these toxic people is that letting anyone else control your mood is a bad idea. I used to let these people control my happiness also. It's important that we learn how to not let these people affect our happiness don't give anyone else control over your emotions. That took me a really long time to learn that lesson, but all of us who have dealt with narcissists eventually get here. It's extremely unfortunate that we have had to deal with people like this that try to take away our happiness, and we shouldn't have to learn this lesson but here we are. It's not healthy to let someone else control our reality or happiness, the sooner we learn that then these people can't control us or affect us any longer and they lose. When you learn this, no more narcissistic supply for the narcissist. It's game over for them. This was another great video Michelle as usual and for anyone out there dealing with Narcissists don't let the narcissists win! It takes time but you'll get there. Don't let anyone control your happiness or your mood, Ever. Get strong! If I can do it so can you.
Narcissistic relationships happens in all type of relationships. I'd like to share this, that I think apply to example number 4; I was working with a handyman who helped me to do some home improvements, he started to act like we're becoming friends, calling me and talking about personal things, etc. I told him that I was planning to remodel the kitchen and I was talking with a kitchen company, one day he called me and suggested to talk with someone knew, I said yes, but I was unable to work with the person he had suggested because schedule compatibility, I ended up doing the kitchen with the other company, once they finished and I was happy and satisfied with my new kitchen, I ask him to reconnect the faucet, drain, dishwasher and garbage disposal, he said yes, when he showed up, he started to criticize the job they did and said things if you have done it with the person I recommend you this could be better, but you never listened to me, but I have this suggestions to make your kitchen even better, like painting different wall colors and led strips, I said yea good idea, then I called him to ask him when he wanted to paint and install the led strips, he started to act busy and unavailable, he said I'll do it in a month, a month went by, asked him again, he said “I am still busy and have no time, I'll let you know, he kept calling me to said hi and spend over an four in phone calls listening how great he was, how much people like him, charming and how good handyman he was, but avoiding to complete the job I need it, finally he gave me a date, but never showed up or called me to tell me he was unable to come. I even refer him to a friend who needed some bathroom job, but got same response, I am so busy. I started to ignited him, because his words were different that his actions, I ended up painting and installing LED strips by myself and my other friend found another contractor. Finally one day he called me and asked me why I haven't call him and told him that I had been busy and did the job he was supposed to complete. That i couldn't understand how come he wasn't respecting his own words doing what he said what he was supposed to and despite how much he loved money he lost the income opportunity with my request and my friend request, he said I been busy, I don't care and I won't be able to call you in a while because I got a new girlfriend 20 years younger than me and I want to use my free time to be with her. I showed him no reaction, gray rock (I feel sorry for the new supply) but he said I am so happy talking to you, but I need to go to sleep, I'll call you tomorrow, but its been a month and he hasn't (got discarded, haha) The good thing is because of this, I started to watch this type of videos, learning about narcissistic persons and learning a lot, helped me to realize that in the past I dealt with at least 5 people with this ugly traits, but I was naive, but thanks with my handyman experience I know more about this and in the future ill be able to identify a narcissistic person. I feel although confusing, this experience helped me to grow and really, “Narcicist people can be among the most emotionally, envious people around us” is better to keep the away, ignore, no contact, no supply, etc. It can happend to us with any person (friend, family, coworkers, business) be careful.
11:00 This is something I dealt with so many times, and it's wild how accurately you just laid it all out! Example: One time I showed up to a party. I hadn't been fighting with the narcissist nor did I think anything was wrong. I start making the rounds telling people hi, and when I get to the narcissist, she just gets up and walks away without saying anything. I try a couple more times in passing to talk to her, and both times, it's a one-word answer and then she leaves. I'm now feeling off my game and feeling like I can't really just have fun and relax at the party because it's so tense and awkward now, and I have no idea why that is the case. She even makes it a point to be fun, happy and enthusiastic towards everyone else at the party, making sure that I know that it's ME whom her problem is with. Finally, I try one more time and it's essentially the same reaction, so I simply ask "Did I do something wrong or did I upset you?" and she responds in immediate anger/annoyance, "God, NOTHING is wrong with me!" and storms off....yet continues to have fun with everyone else. Now I'm legitimately confused because clearly her tone and her actions do not match the words she is saying, nor do they match her claim that she is perfectly fine and that nothing is wrong. I try my best to have fun the rest of the night, but she still leaves anytime I get near so I try not to think about it. Then when the night is over, I start saying bye to everyone, and I know if I do NOT say bye to the narcissist that I'm going to get an ear-full later on about how I "snubbed" her or something. So I say bye and she rolls her eyes at me. I ask one more time if something is wrong, and she says, almost verbatim, "Ugh, nothing is wrong with me, but you ASKING me if something is wrong PISSES ME OFF. So NOW I actually DON'T want to talk to you." And then she proceeds to give me the silent treatment for two weeks. All because I asked if something was wrong. Once she finally "allowed" me to speak to her again, she made no mention of what she was even mad about in the first place (and continues acting like me ASKING her if she was upset was literally the reason for not speaking to me for two weeks). Literally never found out why she was acting that way. But later in hindsight once I realized that she was a narcissist and understood how she operated, I assumed someone probably said something good about me or maybe offended her somehow. So she made it her mission to ruin my night simply to make herself feel important and superior to me in some way.
the most important thing in this is to real eyes that you worthy, deserving of love-first give it to yourself and allow yourself to live your life the way you deem fit and to be happy and content, and stop feeling responsible for their feelings or life bc you are not! but we are responsible for our own life and happiness. the best sentences towards them to say or think are: ok, if u think so....., yeah thats ur decission, u have a right to feel this way, ur life is ur responsibility, or simply: aha, or: ok. or: interesting, and get far from and away from them as often or totally if in any way possible. set boundaries and allways leave scene the minute u do not feel good around them. i once read a good sentence: boundaries are what allows you to enjoy your own garden. nowadays if i notice these covert narc ways for example that someone is allways in a bad mood when i am happy etc. i do not ever ask them again, whats wrong, if i know its allways the same woe me song they sing, and i make it a rule to EITHER a) get away as fast as i can from them, or b) i simply ignore it or c) wave happily or shamelessly! yes shamelessly will say, oopps no time again, and smile. the more passive aggressive they are, the more authentic and shameless i learned to be with them, for example i tell them: got to go, the swings are free. ;) i will not allow them ever again to take away my happiness or give them any of my valuable time of life. they can do what they choose but without me near it. their life and all they do is their responsibility NOT mine!! Not my Circus, not my Monkeys.
I was with a covert Narc abuser for 14 years....my parents said NOTHING. I got out, they never asked if I was ok, ask for details, say they were there for me if I needed to share what happened to me. Enter my amazing husband. We have been together 4 years now and my parents think he could be abusive? I am happier than I have EVER been! My hubby encourages me to find myself, have self love and esteem, he pushed me towards God, prays over me when I cry my eyes out, holds me tight, cheers me on with all my healing and I've never been happier or had more peace and joy!!!.....and my parents question it and plant poisonous thoughts in my lap about my husband taking advantage of me?!?!?! 🤯🤯🤯🤯 They don't want me happy.
As the scapegoat I have 3 Covert narcissists in my immediate family, including the golden child and the parents. They clearly don't like it when I'm doing well (which isn't often anyway). But when you're doing badly in life, they love to make you feel worse about yourself too. Do you have videos about the double-mindedness of golden-child siblings who always seem to morph into a narcissist themselves? The Golden Child might be worse because you think you can trust them (when they act like they're on your side) until they eventually gang up on you again to curry favor with the narc parents. This is my life..
Limit you're contact to business. If they inquire suggest they get help. If they decline go no contact. This advice is in the owner's manual. " & If he does not respond to counsel, never speak to him again."
I have healed a lot of my childhood trauma and i've become very strong and I'm at the point now that if I get involved with a narcissist male or female I;m able to see right through them and I tell them you are too fucked up for my liking ! I'm out of here and I have no problem leaving them behind and I move on with no regret ! I have a narcissistic family member who is giving me the silent treatment but it doesn't hurt me anymore like it use to ,and I no longer take it personal I now see it for what it is ,,, a person can only change and get better if they work on themselves and well most narcs don't work on themselves so how can you expect them to change so the narc is trying to hurt me which it's not happening so they are just wasting their time and that actually makes me laugh !!! I'm no longer their victim !!! and that feels amazing
You always described so well what is narcissistic abuse! Thank you! To illustrate your description of being ignored, I would like to comment that I received, with disdain and mockery, an Opera tape as a Christmas gift from my family when I was a teen. I then cry because I feel accepted, just because they finally understood that I like Opera! That gift was given to me like when you share groceries over the table, and I was asked not to say anything and my tears and my comment that I was happy that they finally understood my taste, were received with disdain and they give me their backs. I have this humanist interest that seems aggressive to their exaggerated care for appearance and shopping so all my humanist interests were always a reason for mockery. How could you not close yourself completely when your mother, sister, brother and father treat you like an ET just because you have a different taste and interest!
Michele-thank you from the bottom of my heart in how you have helped me and validated what I experienced my whole life (mother and then Ex husband)…….I am realizing the larger picture as to how these people force us to confront our unhealed parts of ourselves…every step of the way…but if /once we heal ….the relationship (or dynamic) dissolves. Horrible but true….growth thru suffering.
Thank you so much. I keep on growing with you Michelle. I started on this journey on healing in 2015 and I'm still surprised to be learning. Covert narcissist is another level
I think the narc chick I got sucked into took a look at me at our AA meeting, decided I was acting way to happy, making little jokes and smiling a lot. She winked at me, we had lunch and three days later she had completely wiped the smile off my face. I was recovering from major surgery and was actually working on my humor by watching funny dogs, cats and kids, etc. She could have been polite and said thanks, but I don't see this going anywhere. She didn't have to say, "We had a fluke meeting."
Perfect example. I had gone to mtns with my kids and worthless husband at the time. I was so excited to be at family cabin. My 10 year old son asked me a question and I responded with an excited mhm. I remember him immediately saying "I hate it when you do that". He shot me down in front of my son. He ruined the whole trip. I'll never know who I was married to for almost 18 years. I can honestly say I hate him.
Man, this is soooo on point. I am bouncing back from 6 years with a covert. Discarded twice every 3 years to the date. It's a struggle coming back to myself. So many lessons though.
She really knows what she’s talking about and got me very emotional when she mentioned how you can come home happy and your partner can zap all that energy from you making you sad and my partner yell at me for making noise or dogs getting riled up and then they turn around and ask you why you’re depressed all the time and what’s wrong with you and make you feel so invalidated and Causes extreme cognitive dissonance/confusion almost every night until you are left empty inside and don’t even know yourself anymore. This explains my marriage so well and I’m just now starting my inner work journey and trying to figure out how I got in this mess so am very thankful for these videos and I’m definitely going to look into the Thrive program and see what else is out there
Wow. And I was tearing up at the part about public situations. That exactly what my marriage is like. At home I’m told to be quiet, my spouse has very little window of tolerance and a huge temper so am always told to shut up and stop yapping/blabbling. Then if anyone comes over it’s like Jekyll and Hyde so they are laughing and flirting with everyone enjoying chatting with them right in front of me while I’m ignored. Then if I ever explain it to my friends they say she seems amazing and so funny yet that was only when they were over and the second they leave I’m told to be quit and leave her alone all night again. It causes sooooooooo much hurt inside of you when they have manipulated you and others around you like that. I get sooooo sad at home anymore.
Whenever I was happy or even just feeling less miserable was the moment my mother would take me somewhere private and verbally and emotionally rip me to pieces and wouldn't stop until I was beginning her to just kill me because I am so irreversibly terrible as a person. Then she would punish me for feeling sorry for myself and would tell my father I was suicidal and take me to the mental hospital.
I’m so sorry she did this to you. I’m crying with you. Please know you are not alone and you are ok. She was the problem. I have gone through kind of the same, I get you xxx
I know yours is an old comments but I just read it today and wanted to tell you I'm so sorry that you went through that when you were a child. It sounds truly awful. I hope you know how special you are and that God Made You for a specific purpose and that you are beautiful
Yep you can feel it I leave the room I detach emotionally and I remind myself that’s his problem not mine and I don’t let it affect me and I don’t hang around with them I don’t route two anyway I live in my bedroom. Don’t talk to them just get away from them DON’T ask them what’s wrong I don’t wallow in their own misery it’s karma !
At 12:35 pairing the abuse with the social situation implants a subconscious trigger to get anxiety in social situations, thank you, brilliant observation.
You have done sooo many amazing videos Michelle! But I feel like this one may be my favourite! You are so brilliant at this, and you are such a “real and sincere” person! Thanks so much for your content! You are definitely changing lives👍🏻
My ex relationship of three years was a rollercoaster of these actions. It just shows they are total haters and envy everyone close to them… sad life but not my life. It’s been tough getting over her cuz she was so pretty and etc etc all that fake bs they show… but that’s it. That’s all they offer. A show that’s not worth watching
True 👍 I've had this for 2 years since I met my sons girl friend she seemed nice and was very nice to me until one day she started ignoring me and treating me like I didn't exist. What a horrible way to treat someone. Now my son is treating me the same way she did but he uses verbal abuse.
Using your son as third party abuse She’s lied to your son about you and poisoned him against you because she sees him as her possession to control. Contact a psychologist who deals with narcissism for advice Harassment is illegal
@@jacalyntaylor6721 harrasment is illegal, but its not illegal to ignore someone, that in fact is everyones right. Noone is entitled to anothers persons love or interest, attention or Time. Everyone has a right to say no to anyone or anything they want, its called freedom, one can not force feelings or someone to like you. What you can do is change how you respond or what and who and which treatment you tolerate in your life. you can not control what others do. if your son harrases you with words that is illegal yes and its your right to moove out or have him moove out if he is grown up age. noone has a right to harrass or insult someone...... even if in some cases it could be reactive abuse, which sometimes youngsters or children show, if they have a emotionally absent, emotionally cold, and emotionally or sometimes even physically abusive covert or overt narc parent, which i am not saying you are, but as a survivour of cultist narc upbringing i know that youngsters and children mostly never act up without some underlaying reason+ need therapy, counseling etc. plus parents are responsible for their kids emotional and physicall and spiritual wellbeing not vice versa!! but when we reach maturity we are fully responsible for our life, feelings, deeds and happiness. Also everyone is entitled to their own Uniqueness, Opinions, Worldview and ought to allow themselves to live their life freely, unbothered and the way they deem fit. Only rule: never do to anyone anything which you would not want to be done to you. :) I hope this helps.
She told me *u r tooo happy* and i was so pissed in this Moment. I knew in my Intuition what is going on right now and told her something to argue with her. Nowadays i wouldnt talk a Word, just walk away
Holy shit this is where i learned my narcissism tendencies and my self sabotage. I remember graduating from college and none of my family members even acknowledged it.
You explained this amazingly clear! Ive been trying to understand covert for a while now but havent been able to fully get it until now. Thank you for all the examples, i found it really made it clear for me.
Hi, my name is Tracy, I have been suffering for 16 years from my kids dad who is a narcissistic abusive alcoholic and have come close to death from his actions twice. I also have lost a baby do to his poor decisions. Now at 10 and 13 years of age of my daughter's, I left him and got an OFP against him in March and just a couple weeks ago he violated the OFP and tried to break in the house. After jail he got out and wanted to see the girls for a visit for his birthday and father's day so I met with his family to drop them off like a normal visit for a couple nights because I had to and he never returned them and he filed for child support and his sister has control of the property I'm living in because she manages the company. I am so lost and feel week for all he has done. He manipulates everything, including the system. When he was pulled over, the police didn't even give him a breathalyzer or drug test him when he was extremely intoxicated and another substance in his system. He wants revenge on me for putting him in jail and because he doesn't have me to control. What should I or can I do?
File reports with police,get solicitors involved,contact women's domestic abuse charities ,have a support system full of sensible people with only your best interest at heart.DON'T GO BACK TO HIM IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS.There must be some help in America( If that is where you are )for people in your circumstances.Stay safe and try to escape,without telling anyone.
I AM SO VERY GREATFUL FOR YOU, THANK YOU❣️ I greatly appreciate you and how much you've helped me along this long road of healing on my way to self love and emotional/mental health. God Bless your beautiful soul 🙏 😇
For my parents found intolerable that I had other people attention when we were in pública, they would do and say anyting to make me feel ashamed of myshelf. No I realize that this is the origin of my social anxity!
Had a Narc Stepdad and Mom lol, I survived...... I live with 2 Narcs now ha ha. We are all Narcs on some level, I'm glad I'm more empathetic than some others. JESUS ROCKS!!
No. Not everyone is a cluster b. Not everyone is sadistic and needs to hurt and demean others in order to feel good about themselves. What everyone needs to have is a solid ego = sense of I AM in order to build boundaries around it, but narcissists don’t have that. They do not have a solid core and shapeshift every day, however way they will inconvenience and exasperate people the most in order to feed off of them and destroy them. Not everyone is completely incapable of empathy, responsibility, accountability, adaptation, and honesty. No one is a narcissist but a cluster b = the abusive, evil, manipulative, entitled, violent, neglectful people of the world.
My ex would literally tell me “I can’t be happy for you right now…”, followed by all the reason’s her life is terrible. Who says shit like that?! The empathy I felt for her and her struggles were never reciprocated. Ever. I thought I loved her, but the truth was I was afraid of what she would do if I left.
My parents paid attention to me , accepted me, complimented me, after they died, my Mom in 2016 , my Dad in 2010 & I'm an adult , the youngest of 4 , my siblings are a lot older , 6, 10 & 12 years older, i was clise to my sister who was 6 years older only . had me when my Mom was 39. I'm a Nurse. My Mom had Alzheimers dad had a 2nd stroke & had denentia. The only time my siblings & I havent gotten along & my Sister & 1 of my brothers has controlling acted like they have Narcissism is when I'd try to make decisions with our Mom & Dad. I've always been quiet, a empath , a pleaser, but when I knew something well , like taking care of elderly from eirking in the community i wss assertive , i believe they weren't accustomed to me speaking up. I had been working on my shyness & assertiveness, but they were angry at me for speaking up. & when i had an opinion & talked to the Dr about my Dad after his 2nd stroke. My ex who was narcissistic & I divorced , 3 years after he broke into my place & physucally aggravated assaulted me , my sister wasnt supportive as i needed, but victim shamed me I felt like venting thank you She smear campaigned me & my ex did, I read what she did was ****Another trauma, Secondary Trauma It took a long time to process this, I did not have very much support , from any if my immediate family, she spread smear campaign to my kids , my adult kids, think I'm "paranoid" , & how do i know she soread gossip ? So its making me feel crazy, , my sister has given me the sane reaction though , & she said I'm dwelling on the past that's a long time ago, & she denies spreading(, but I mostly cut ties , but when we did talk) thank you
I realized recently that my mother not only feels threatened by my happiness or confidence, but actually NEEDS me to have low self esteem and be anxious all the time. It's a sad thing to see that your own mother actually doesn't want her children to be happy.
Same here. Best wishes to you and good luck!
Wow! You described exactly how i have thought most of my life. But i pushed it to the side thinking no because shes my mum , why would she want that. But its true 😢
I am so sorry she treats you that way.
I cut my parents off. Hopefully it’s not forever, but the pain I used to feel was so much more than the what I’m feel without them. For me, the MENTAL trade-off is totally worth it.
Me too if I talk to her and I’m in a good mood by the end of the phone call she bring me down but I have learned not to absorb her crap if you’re not living with him is a lot easier to do knowing my husband does it to me he’s a he’s pathologically is full blown and NPD it harder
dont react. they will be in a calm state when u react. and deny all their doings, u end up be the crazy one.
“This person only exists when there’s an audience.” That’s it. That’s the covert. They are two different people.
I told my ex wife, "You can hate my ass all you want, but you need to go do it sitting on someone else's couch, sitting in someone else's house, ruining someone else's life."
Amen they really hate your happiness smile all the time
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
🙌
Shazam!
I wear ear buds all day and laugh at podcasts. It pisses off the narc.
yeah music helped me a lot, when years ago i had to eliminate any noises my former narc roomate was making delibaretelly, bc he knew it bothered me......he got so bored after a while and stopped, thankfully i soon mooved out :)
I was having my best time, singing loudly to all my favourite songs, could not hear him at all any longer. but fyi it did not bother anyone else there, since my door was thick enough, but i also played radioin the kitchen for a better mood when cooking etc. it made him crazy not having my attention, but he tried to get it a few times but i then told him: listen, but i do not feel like talking to anyone today. or i do NOT WANT to talk now, then ignored him.
i also once told him that nothing i do has anything to do with him, we are only sharing a house by chance and that he should live his life and i live mine and want to be left allone, only say hi and bye, nothing else. i had to put down Boundaries with him early on, like tell him to never knock my door unless in real emergencies, bc he was abusive initially like yelling at me and calling me horrible names, etc. or he tried making me feel responsible for his bad moods etc., for example bc i dared to wipe the floors in early afternoon, just bc he had stayed awake all night, then wanting to sleep all day. it was funny my landlady told him, we are not in a old age home, and if he did not like it, he could moove out. :D it was me who did though, since i found a very nice place in the Countryside. Thankfully i had allready learned lots about npd, when i experienced this, otherwise it would of been much more difficult for me to set these Boundaries etc.
I knit furiously...it does the same thing 😂
Also, devaluation, slight insults, comparisons, one-upping.
To anyone reading, never pander to a Narc, detect it and move! Trust me you're worth it!
YES!! Oh my gosh! I used to be happy when I woke up with my kids before he would come downstairs! When he came downstairs, I would immediately act less happy, kind of gloomy, because I knew that if I acted happy, he would be a jerk. That has been so hard to explain to people! It made me feel like the moody one, but I never was!!
Same here..
I know exactly how that feels! I would dread the time of day that he’d come home from work. I’d be so happy and the evening was so miserable!
So true!
You really nailed it. I use to get excited about socializing, because my soul really needed it. A narcissist will speak poorly about you beforehand and things just don't feel right while socializing. It's the craziest feeling. When you realize what is going on you lose all trust in the narcissist. You also have absolutely no desire to socialize with anyone associated with the narcissist. This leads to loneliness, anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, disdain. The sad thing is this effects every aspect of one's life. You could be someone so full of life and motivation to make the world a better place. In the end, you are a sad empty vessel with little to no desire to do anything.
take back your power by taking back responsibility for your life and happiness, do not make your happiness dependent on anything they or anyone outside you does.
@@SavedByJesusHeimatLiebe thanks I've been working on doing that very thing for the last 5-10 years. It's a process. I'm getting there. Thanks.
happy to hear that, fellow thriver, imho gardening, etc. and focusing on the basics and ones simply being thankfully for life itself, allowing yourself to be content and happy with lifes simple joys, instead perfection also helps lots, ye can be proud of each step of your journey .....then let sun, water, nice cozy shelter, good food, music, etc. do the rest, so much to enjoy, and if someone has health thats a lot to be thankfull for as well. focusing on what one has instead on the lacks, farewell :=)
Yep! My narcissist would always build me up and then intentionally let me down. I lived in his house, no car, he didn’t want me to have a job. I was isolated. I would sit in the house cleaning, cooking, watching tv, feel like the walls were caving in on me. I would do this for weeks at a time. One day he might say, let’s go out today and do something. It was usually a Saturday. We lived in a beautiful happening city in Florida. It was NEVER “happening”for me, I was miserable. But I would get fixed up, get excited to go out and what his version of going out was, going to the post office while I sat in the car, walk around a store he wanted to go to and buy things for himself. Leave me sitting in the car forever while he went in somewhere. And to top it all off, he’d pull into a nice restaurant parking lot just to get my hopes up and he’d say, oh, I didn’t mean to pull in here. We would then pull into a convenient store for a loaf of bread and then go home and have me fix him a sandwich. He’d see how let down Id be and say, we’ll there’s no pleasing you is there? I finally take u out and this is how you act. There was a time I got all ready and fixed up to go out on my birthday and he tells me he’s taking me nowhere, all because I was so happy and excited. When I started to cry, he body slammed me on the hardwood floor. I was just miserable. But I’m finally out of that relationship after 7 years of isolation, manipulation, gas lighting and constant projection. To anyone who reads this, if you are in a relationship like that, the best thing you can do is RUN! It ONLY gets worse! Once the physical abuse started, I left a few weeks later.
That’s what attracts them, feeding off your life force u til you have none left
Does this lady know how beautiful she is , how many people she had helped ? Love you Michele and wish you all the happiness in the world !
Thank you so much for your kind words =D You touched my heart!!!
That WAS ABSOLUTELY SWEET. PLEASE CHOOSE TO KEEP SHARING YOUR LOVE AND KINDNESS TO THE WORLD, AND EVERYONE THAT YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH, IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. I PRAY, HOPE, AND BELIEVE THAT YOU CHOOSE TO KNOW GOD FOR YOURSELF, AND CHOOSE TO KNOW THAT GOD IS REAL, ALIVE, AND WELL. AND THAT GOD TRULY DO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU AND SO DO I, IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. PLEASE CHOOSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ALWAYS. NO MATTER WHAT, AND PLEASE CHOOSE TO NOT LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE EVER STEAL YOUR JOY EVER AGAIN. AND PLEASE CHOOSE TO KNOW, TRUST, AND BELIEVE, THAT GOD IS REAL, ALIVE, AND WELL, IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN.
@@ladennayoung2939 Amen! :)
Michele is truly the most beautiful woman and soul in this fallen world. I thank God for creating such a lovely person who has helped and healed so many people, including me.......
I also pray that Michele will be touched by Heavenly Father God one day and will find true Salvation through Lord Jesus Christ. It was God who led me to this channel as God answered my prayer....I pray Michele will encounter Lord Jesus too... then one day we will all have eternal life with God....experiencing true happiness forever without a single narcissistic people around us anymore.
Michele, I just want to send you love, hugs and happiness and a big Thank You !
🌹💕❤💕🌹💕❤💕🌹
I pray Lord God Jesus Christ bless you and protect you every moment of your life too. Even though you do not know your Beautiful Saviour Jesus Christ yet but He already loves you with an everlasting love as His beloved.🌹🌹🌹 Amen !
@@jessicalamb8312 that is a beautiful wish. The blessings however, come from His Father. 🙏
Had to pause this video at 7.18-'It's omission, it's what they don't do...'so true where dealing with my narc family is concerned. I remember a couple of years ago winning a landmark case against my former college for discrimination. To date it has been one of my biggest achievements and I was also awarded 4000 euros. My narc family never once congratulated me or offred to celebrate my victory. Narcs are empty vessels...
A belated congratulations Barry 🎊 🎉. I hope you celebrated yourself 🥂
@barry congrats 🎉🎉🎉
9:20 this person only exists, when there is an audience. Woooow. So true
They make you feel like your raw happiness and joy is nothing but annoying, and they do it in the most subtle ways to confuse you. Worst feeling ever
1:17 " can't get rid of all narcissists because they're everywhere" yes this is so true when I try to tell my therapist she doesn't understand what I'm saying
Dad was overt/Mother covert - should have left them in the dust decades ago. I continued getting sucked into these dynamics my ENTIRE life. It's horrible 😞
in my opinion such a narcparents wants us dead
My condolences - both of my parents are covert. It's hell.
same, I chose to live alone with my son
@@SoapsLuvr New age is a LIE that goes back to the garden of eden. For there is a way that seemeth right unto man but the end thereof is death. Don’t take the jabs it’s the mark of the beast which already comes in many different forms dont take anything they’re offering now or later!!! Read Revelation In The Bible translate Scriptures to Hebrew and Greek strongs concordance it’s all happening now!!!! Call upon Jesus Christ now while you still can repent and turn from all sin!!!! JESUS CHRIST IS COMING BACK VERY SOON AND Jesus Christ IS THE ONLY TRUTH THE ONLY LIFE AND HE IS THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN!!! God Loves you Soooo Muuuch buy it is each person’s choice where they wi spend eternity . It’s Heaven or hell there is no other place to go that is if the choice is yours don’t make the wrong choice
Both of my parents as well, please know it’s never too late to rebuild the life that YOU want. You’ve got this! This community wants to see you succeed. Who knows, your testimony may be what another needs to get themselves out sooner than you did. I know if I had someone help me understand my toxic family dynamic at a younger age, I would have gone no contact at 18 and never looked back but I didn’t out of love and “obligation.” So I’m now using my story to help others. The ultimate act of rebellion against them is taking the pain THEY inflicted and turn it into purpose and personal power. Sending much love and blessings ❤.
#2 is totally evident with me. After years of trauma and getting through codependency, I was able to find myself in a happy relationship with a good man and we got to travel together to Istanbul and no one in my family even expressed happiness for me . I have a lot of siblings and not one even asked me how my trip was when i got back. My boyfriend also found it so weird 😂
The ambient abuse, unspoken disdain, contempt, it's instinctively felt, without a reason, it's not a lesson it's just shaming.. without you making a cause for that treatment's effect.
Stultifying
Really, it’s the insidious, covert emotional abuse that is the most difficult….😱 it comes along with any conversation or just about anything that we are required to engage in with a narcissist! 👿🐍
PS! Being a lover of gardening, I loved your gardening analogy! 🌱🌹💐🌷🌱
Yeah. That's why it's imperative that we go NO contact with the one's that we can go no contact with.
That's why they always try to make me angry right before a party!
You have no idea how eye opening and helpful this video is for me! And the TIMING!!!
I am going through this with my parents right now. It's life altering~ in a sad but very GOOD way ♥️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I always wondered why my husband was always in a good mood when I was in a bad mood and in a bad mood when I was good mood. Maybe it’s because of the enmeshed that occurred in my family. I even tried to send a video about this to my extended family. They were so confused by it. I even got a new job recently and I didn’t even want to tell me extended family because I knew they wouldn’t be happy for me. My mom knew though and she acted as though I didn’t get it and wanted me to get a newer job. Completely ignoring the struggle that I just went through to get my job. It really is damaging. Especially since it happened right after I had a panic attack. These people don’t quit. My extended family admires my husband and I admired him too but my house is literally failing apart. Sometimes small insects get in and bite us. The roof leaks in a couple of spots. However, he is really charming.
I admit he love bombed me when we were dating because I didn’t know what it was at the time. I thought our love was going to grow even more when we got married, but the opposite thing happened. I used to think he had multiple personalities after we got married because he completely changed and I never knew which side of him I would get. But now I know that it’s all a performance. It does make me confused and when I am being invalidated it brews in me. I think he did struggle for many years to make a life for himself without me to fling negativity into. I don’t know who I can trust anymore. Being around people is negative and bad. I am more comfort being by myself but then what’s the point of being married?
healthy rl are all about enjoying life together, laugh together, grow together, freely, yet reliable, wanting each other in mutual lifes, choosing, but not needing to fill blanks, whether emotional, sexual or material, its not about expectations, entitlement from either side or worse using and abusing or possesing
Get divorce please live your life my mother my 2 daughters my ex iam done they don't want you happy
@@SavedByJesusHeimatLiebe very true
Jesus loves you. Surrender the Lead for your Life to Him. You can allways speak with Him as you would to a good Friend. There is only one mediator between God The Maker of ALL Life, its Jesus Himself and Him we need and His Word which is the Water of Life. We can not justify ourselves from our own Works, only in Trusting in what He did for us and His Lead in Life, Rest in His Mercy. You are made righteous and washed clean by Him giving His Life, if you trust in That His GREATEST WORK of unddeserved Mercy, not sinnfull fellow Humans or some Organisation. Do not let any Person mislead you or take that from you, we are free from Works of Law. We are justified by Faith. The good Works of the Spirit come, but naturally out of Joy after being "born again" through accepting His Mercy, and He gives us HIS Spirit of Truth and His Word which is the Water of Life. Then they come naturally out of Joy, not from Obligation, Force and def. not out of Scared from still not being saved.....!!!! must and should=should as in benefitial are totally two different things,
Its so cool you still make videos! You pulled me out of the post no contact funk 3 years ago. I finally won full custody and a 5 year restraining order in oct 2021. :) .. i think i found you when looking for how to compose yourself in court against the narcissist.
Sooooo happy for you!!!!!!! This made my day to hear =D
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Same here. Your videos have helped me so much! 🙏🏽
She was also one of the first videos I watched 5 years ago when I was in a DARK whole. Michelle, you helped so many people and you be blessed🙏🏾
Same 💗
So true! You explained the miserable tortuous life I had with the malignant narcissist I thankfully divorced.
He sabotages, is a contrarian, and intentionally destroys and ruins your peaceful happy mood
And celebrations.
He’s goes between covert and overt
Ignoring, neglecting, stonewalling, silent treatment,and acting indifferent to situations good or bad in your life in order to incite ,antagonize, and make his victim feel unworthy, useless, invisible,and unimportant .
Then when he’s ruined your mood or made you feel worse he will act overly happy and the clueless unaware victim or bystander as he then triangulates with others smear campaigning and blame shifting everything he’s doing and done back onto his victim..making you look like the “crazy, bad guy “, “ saying come on guys, hurry let’s go get away from her, or him .. she’s ruining our fun time” after he intentionally set you up to react
To his sadistic tactics to break you.
Thank you for explaining that so well !
My ex wife that I was married to for 27 years, did the same.
We had 5 children ( actually the first was 3 when we married, but I considered him my son and he considers me dad. )
They will exploit your weaknesses and your strengths. Drain you of your energy, destroy everything and everyone you love. They don't care about how they damage their own children.
It seems supernatural or demonic.
Sounds like Johnny Depp 😬
My gf soon to be ex. Once I secure my reboot funds. Tried to stonewall last night. I just didn't give a crap LOL it's funny to finally realize they're different from some one who actually feels emotion and is realistic. A bit of fair justified revenge. I will get out once I can and they will get a little bonus time from me at least in this home and me & my best stuff will be long gone before they realize if I pull it off halfway decently.
@@Bawkrwhy wait. Get a storage unit slowly put in it
@@Angela-ph1ik Decided to kick them out instead. Actually started to develop a rash on my feet that went away the second her mom & untrained dog left.
“This person only exists when there’s an audience” 😭😭 OW
Five years past some strange days. 3 times the time spent with dark persuasion of a textbook narc. it is simply fabulous to have chaos free life. Fully engaged and fullfilling in so many ways yet a boring day is fantastic time spent. That is when you can be creative, play some music, hone your sanctuary & get continuing education, right here i might add, while not in a frantic effort to clear the fog. Ahhhh zen...
Hi! I’m married to a Narcissist for 57 years! I’ve had enough abuse. He is just like and I have responded exactly like you said.
Thank you for your videos for I do not want to waste another minute thinking there is no hope for me. I am a child of God and
will get back to my old self of joy and happiness through my Jesus and Savior,
in spite of my husbands manipulation to control. No longer am I the cause of his unhappiness. God Bless!
.
I wish there was a law against these abusers. I would totally take my so called Mother to court. Fuching B!
I can’t believe how can a Mother be like this! It’s unacceptable!!
I can feel your rage,same case here
Great video! Both of my parents are covert narcissists and it was a very enmeshing family system. My parents are big on concern trolling me about my decisions and have often told me that I won't have their love and support if I don't do what they think I should do .
My ex used to control how others saw me, and make me look like the needy, incompetent and lazy one, by the tactics mentioned here. Both my mom and dad emotionally manipulated me. But, I have realized that, even though my dad promotes both he and my mom as the nicest couple, he has always managed to make my mom look like the bad guy in the relationship.
"Concern trolling" that is an interesting term - it might describe what my covert narc. parents do to me. Do you mean something like "Are you okaaayyy? If you need our heeeellllpppp please let us know, we'll be glaaaadddd to help you" (and as the adult-child, if I'm suffering, sure I'd love to be helped, but knowing they're covert-narcs, the flip-side of the coin is they always charge a "price" for their "help" which always ends up hurting me!)
@@SoapsLuvr Exactly, well said! I've seen my parents also do this with extended family and friends. Saying they're concerned about a relative just serves to make my relative look dysfunctional and themselves look like the functional ones. And I remember my dad complaining about a neighbor being ungrateful because they wouldn't take his advice when he was helping them out. They also "helped" my cousin leave his enmeshed situation with my aunt, but then they were expecting him to check in with them and spend more time with them. Stay strong, this is such an insidious from of manipulation.
@@SoapsLuvr everything is a transaction. It's EVIL
In regards for the need of an audience, my mom had warned me of this YEARS ago with dealing my female sibling.
Your looking quite relaxed and pleasant today.success breeds success. You deserve every last drop of it.until we change our subconscious beliefs nothing gets better.good luck michelle🐻🐼
She is intelligent.( -luck)
I can complete relate to the point where you mention how they triangulate and do things for other people but not for you and make the other people hate you and then when you react you’re crazy smh
The thing I learned from dealing with a few narcissists that I believe we all have to learn from dealing with these toxic people is that letting anyone else control your mood is a bad idea. I used to let these people control my happiness also. It's important that we learn how to not let these people affect our happiness don't give anyone else control over your emotions. That took me a really long time to learn that lesson, but all of us who have dealt with narcissists eventually get here. It's extremely unfortunate that we have had to deal with people like this that try to take away our happiness, and we shouldn't have to learn this lesson but here we are. It's not healthy to let someone else control our reality or happiness, the sooner we learn that then these people can't control us or affect us any longer and they lose. When you learn this, no more narcissistic supply for the narcissist. It's game over for them. This was another great video Michelle as usual and for anyone out there dealing with Narcissists don't let the narcissists win! It takes time but you'll get there. Don't let anyone control your happiness or your mood, Ever. Get strong! If I can do it so can you.
The silence is so loud! It’s awful. True story. 🙏❤️
Yes the narcissist devalues you and then says why do feel that way. Duh!
Narcissistic relationships happens in all type of relationships. I'd like to share this, that I think apply to example number 4; I was working with a handyman who helped me to do some home improvements, he started to act like we're becoming friends, calling me and talking about personal things, etc. I told him that I was planning to remodel the kitchen and I was talking with a kitchen company, one day he called me and suggested to talk with someone knew, I said yes, but I was unable to work with the person he had suggested because schedule compatibility, I ended up doing the kitchen with the other company, once they finished and I was happy and satisfied with my new kitchen, I ask him to reconnect the faucet, drain, dishwasher and garbage disposal, he said yes, when he showed up, he started to criticize the job they did and said things if you have done it with the person I recommend you this could be better, but you never listened to me, but I have this suggestions to make your kitchen even better, like painting different wall colors and led strips, I said yea good idea, then I called him to ask him when he wanted to paint and install the led strips, he started to act busy and unavailable, he said I'll do it in a month, a month went by, asked him again, he said “I am still busy and have no time, I'll let you know, he kept calling me to said hi and spend over an four in phone calls listening how great he was, how much people like him, charming and how good handyman he was, but avoiding to complete the job I need it, finally he gave me a date, but never showed up or called me to tell me he was unable to come. I even refer him to a friend who needed some bathroom job, but got same response, I am so busy. I started to ignited him, because his words were different that his actions, I ended up painting and installing LED strips by myself and my other friend found another contractor. Finally one day he called me and asked me why I haven't call him and told him that I had been busy and did the job he was supposed to complete. That i couldn't understand how come he wasn't respecting his own words doing what he said what he was supposed to and despite how much he loved money he lost the income opportunity with my request and my friend request, he said I been busy, I don't care and I won't be able to call you in a while because I got a new girlfriend 20 years younger than me and I want to use my free time to be with her. I showed him no reaction, gray rock (I feel sorry for the new supply) but he said I am so happy talking to you, but I need to go to sleep, I'll call you tomorrow, but its been a month and he hasn't (got discarded, haha)
The good thing is because of this, I started to watch this type of videos, learning about narcissistic persons and learning a lot, helped me to realize that in the past I dealt with at least 5 people with this ugly traits, but I was naive, but thanks with my handyman experience I know more about this and in the future ill be able to identify a narcissistic person. I feel although confusing, this experience helped me to grow and really, “Narcicist people can be among the most emotionally, envious people around us” is better to keep the away, ignore, no contact, no supply, etc. It can happend to us with any person (friend, family, coworkers, business) be careful.
I haven't felt happy in in over ten years. It's been going on that long.
I keep on attracting narcs/toxic men. I wondered why.. then some said it will happen if you grew up with narc parents like I was
11:00 This is something I dealt with so many times, and it's wild how accurately you just laid it all out!
Example: One time I showed up to a party. I hadn't been fighting with the narcissist nor did I think anything was wrong. I start making the rounds telling people hi, and when I get to the narcissist, she just gets up and walks away without saying anything. I try a couple more times in passing to talk to her, and both times, it's a one-word answer and then she leaves. I'm now feeling off my game and feeling like I can't really just have fun and relax at the party because it's so tense and awkward now, and I have no idea why that is the case. She even makes it a point to be fun, happy and enthusiastic towards everyone else at the party, making sure that I know that it's ME whom her problem is with.
Finally, I try one more time and it's essentially the same reaction, so I simply ask "Did I do something wrong or did I upset you?" and she responds in immediate anger/annoyance, "God, NOTHING is wrong with me!" and storms off....yet continues to have fun with everyone else. Now I'm legitimately confused because clearly her tone and her actions do not match the words she is saying, nor do they match her claim that she is perfectly fine and that nothing is wrong.
I try my best to have fun the rest of the night, but she still leaves anytime I get near so I try not to think about it. Then when the night is over, I start saying bye to everyone, and I know if I do NOT say bye to the narcissist that I'm going to get an ear-full later on about how I "snubbed" her or something. So I say bye and she rolls her eyes at me. I ask one more time if something is wrong, and she says, almost verbatim, "Ugh, nothing is wrong with me, but you ASKING me if something is wrong PISSES ME OFF. So NOW I actually DON'T want to talk to you." And then she proceeds to give me the silent treatment for two weeks. All because I asked if something was wrong.
Once she finally "allowed" me to speak to her again, she made no mention of what she was even mad about in the first place (and continues acting like me ASKING her if she was upset was literally the reason for not speaking to me for two weeks). Literally never found out why she was acting that way. But later in hindsight once I realized that she was a narcissist and understood how she operated, I assumed someone probably said something good about me or maybe offended her somehow. So she made it her mission to ruin my night simply to make herself feel important and superior to me in some way.
the most important thing in this is to real eyes that you worthy, deserving of love-first give it to yourself and allow yourself to live your life the way you deem fit and to be happy and content, and stop feeling responsible for their feelings or life bc you are not! but we are responsible for our own life and happiness. the best sentences towards them to say or think are: ok, if u think so....., yeah thats ur decission, u have a right to feel this way, ur life is ur responsibility, or simply: aha, or: ok. or: interesting, and get far from and away from them as often or totally if in any way possible. set boundaries and allways leave scene the minute u do not feel good around them. i once read a good sentence: boundaries are what allows you to enjoy your own garden.
nowadays if i notice these covert narc ways for example that someone is allways in a bad mood when i am happy etc. i do not ever ask them again, whats wrong, if i know its allways the same woe me song they sing, and i make it a rule to EITHER a) get away as fast as i can from them, or b) i simply ignore it or c) wave happily or shamelessly! yes shamelessly will say, oopps no time again, and smile. the more passive aggressive they are, the more authentic and shameless i learned to be with them, for example i tell them: got to go, the swings are free. ;)
i will not allow them ever again to take away my happiness or give them any of my valuable time of life. they can do what they choose but without me near it. their life and all they do is their responsibility NOT mine!! Not my Circus, not my Monkeys.
I was with a covert Narc abuser for 14 years....my parents said NOTHING. I got out, they never asked if I was ok, ask for details, say they were there for me if I needed to share what happened to me.
Enter my amazing husband. We have been together 4 years now and my parents think he could be abusive? I am happier than I have EVER been! My hubby encourages me to find myself, have self love and esteem, he pushed me towards God, prays over me when I cry my eyes out, holds me tight, cheers me on with all my healing and I've never been happier or had more peace and joy!!!.....and my parents question it and plant poisonous thoughts in my lap about my husband taking advantage of me?!?!?!
🤯🤯🤯🤯
They don't want me happy.
Happy for you to have found your soulmate.
As the scapegoat I have 3 Covert narcissists in my immediate family, including the golden child and the parents. They clearly don't like it when I'm doing well (which isn't often anyway). But when you're doing badly in life, they love to make you feel worse about yourself too. Do you have videos about the double-mindedness of golden-child siblings who always seem to morph into a narcissist themselves? The Golden Child might be worse because you think you can trust them (when they act like they're on your side) until they eventually gang up on you again to curry favor with the narc parents. This is my life..
Limit you're contact to business. If they inquire suggest they get help. If they decline go no contact. This advice is in the owner's manual. " & If he does not respond to counsel, never speak to him again."
So what if my parents act like im myself when im depressed one of them anyway is that narcssitic
I have healed a lot of my childhood trauma and i've become very strong and I'm at the point now that if I get involved with a narcissist male or female I;m able to see right through them and I tell them you are too fucked up for my liking ! I'm out of here and I have no problem leaving them behind and I move on with no regret ! I have a narcissistic family member who is giving me the silent treatment but it doesn't hurt me anymore like it use to ,and I no longer take it personal I now see it for what it is ,,, a person can only change and get better if they work on themselves and well most narcs don't work on themselves so how can you expect them to change so the narc is trying to hurt me which it's not happening so they are just wasting their time and that actually makes me laugh !!! I'm no longer their victim !!! and that feels amazing
You always described so well what is narcissistic abuse! Thank you! To illustrate your description of being ignored, I would like to comment that I received, with disdain and mockery, an Opera tape as a Christmas gift from my family when I was a teen. I then cry because I feel accepted, just because they finally understood that I like Opera! That gift was given to me like when you share groceries over the table, and I was asked not to say anything and my tears and my comment that I was happy that they finally understood my taste, were received with disdain and they give me their backs. I have this humanist interest that seems aggressive to their exaggerated care for appearance and shopping so all my humanist interests were always a reason for mockery. How could you not close yourself completely when your mother, sister, brother and father treat you like an ET just because you have a different taste and interest!
Each one of us are unique. Honor your gifts.. you are precious. 💞
Thank you for your kind support. Best wishes.
What a great video. Everything you said was my life for 20 years
Too bad because I'm soooooooo happy now!!!💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
Michele-thank you from the bottom of my heart in how you have helped me and validated what I experienced my whole life (mother and then Ex husband)…….I am realizing the larger picture as to how these people force us to confront our unhealed parts of ourselves…every step of the way…but if /once we heal ….the relationship (or dynamic) dissolves. Horrible but true….growth thru suffering.
Yep. ALL OF THIS IS VERY ACCURATE, AND ALL OF THIS IS MY MOTHER, FOR SURE. LORD HAVE MERCY.
Thank you so much. I keep on growing with you Michelle. I started on this journey on healing in 2015 and I'm still surprised to be learning. Covert narcissist is another level
Thank you for the insightful explanation and the wonderful message, Michelle. Have a wonderful day and blessings to you 🙏💐🎉
Break chasing their validation💯
8:34
9:39
This is insane for me to hear I can’t even believe you are describing what I never could and believed I was crazy
With narcs...someone is on the sideline yelling Action! when theres people around
I think the narc chick I got sucked into took a look at me at our AA meeting, decided I was acting way to happy, making little jokes and smiling a lot. She winked at me, we had lunch and three days later she had completely wiped the smile off my face.
I was recovering from major surgery and was actually working on my humor by watching funny dogs, cats and kids, etc. She could have been polite and said thanks, but I don't see this going anywhere. She didn't have to say, "We had a fluke meeting."
Perfect example. I had gone to mtns with my kids and worthless husband at the time. I was so excited to be at family cabin. My 10 year old son asked me a question and I responded with an excited mhm. I remember him immediately saying "I hate it when you do that". He shot me down in front of my son. He ruined the whole trip. I'll never know who I was married to for almost 18 years. I can honestly say I hate him.
Nothing has ever resonated so strongly with me. It’s a revelation. A complete shift of perspective. Wow, thank you. 💜
Well done Michelle very well explained, confirmed so much for me! Your work is excellent 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👍🏾
Man, this is soooo on point. I am bouncing back from 6 years with a covert. Discarded twice every 3 years to the date. It's a struggle coming back to myself. So many lessons though.
She really knows what she’s talking about and got me very emotional when she mentioned how you can come home happy and your partner can zap all that energy from you making you sad and my partner yell at me for making noise or dogs getting riled up and then they turn around and ask you why you’re depressed all the time and what’s wrong with you and make you feel so invalidated and Causes extreme cognitive dissonance/confusion almost every night until you are left empty inside and don’t even know yourself anymore.
This explains my marriage so well and I’m just now starting my inner work journey and trying to figure out how I got in this mess so am very thankful for these videos and I’m definitely going to look into the Thrive program and see what else is out there
Wow. And I was tearing up at the part about public situations. That exactly what my marriage is like.
At home I’m told to be quiet, my spouse has very little window of tolerance and a huge temper so am always told to shut up and stop yapping/blabbling.
Then if anyone comes over it’s like Jekyll and Hyde so they are laughing and flirting with everyone enjoying chatting with them right in front of me while I’m ignored.
Then if I ever explain it to my friends they say she seems amazing and so funny yet that was only when they were over and the second they leave I’m told to be quit and leave her alone all night again.
It causes sooooooooo much hurt inside of you when they have manipulated you and others around you like that.
I get sooooo sad at home anymore.
Spot on Michele!!! Thank you kindly for all you do!! They really help and heal!! xoxo
Whenever I was happy or even just feeling less miserable was the moment my mother would take me somewhere private and verbally and emotionally rip me to pieces and wouldn't stop until I was beginning her to just kill me because I am so irreversibly terrible as a person. Then she would punish me for feeling sorry for myself and would tell my father I was suicidal and take me to the mental hospital.
Demonic abuse and criminal harassment
I’m so sorry she did this to you. I’m crying with you. Please know you are not alone and you are ok. She was the problem. I have gone through kind of the same, I get you xxx
@@chrisg7795 Thanks, I really appreciate it. It's comforting to know someone understands.
I know yours is an old comments but I just read it today and wanted to tell you I'm so sorry that you went through that when you were a child. It sounds truly awful. I hope you know how special you are and that God Made You for a specific purpose and that you are beautiful
A combination of covert and overt abuse is brutal.
Your easy to learn from, thanks Michelle🍀
Yep you can feel it I leave the room I detach emotionally and I remind myself that’s his problem not mine and I don’t let it affect me and I don’t hang around with them I don’t route two anyway I live in my bedroom. Don’t talk to them just get away from them DON’T ask them what’s wrong I don’t wallow in their own misery it’s karma !
Me too, exactly! When he is home, I'm in my bedroom or stay busy doing chores.
At 12:35 pairing the abuse with the social situation implants a subconscious trigger to get anxiety in social situations, thank you, brilliant observation.
You have done sooo many amazing videos Michelle! But I feel like this one may be my favourite! You are so brilliant at this, and you are such a “real and sincere” person! Thanks so much for your content!
You are definitely changing lives👍🏻
My ex relationship of three years was a rollercoaster of these actions. It just shows they are total haters and envy everyone close to them… sad life but not my life. It’s been tough getting over her cuz she was so pretty and etc etc all that fake bs they show… but that’s it. That’s all they offer. A show that’s not worth watching
True 👍 I've had this for 2 years since I met my sons girl friend she seemed nice and was very nice to me until one day she started ignoring me and treating me like I didn't exist. What a horrible way to treat someone. Now my son is treating me the same way she did but he uses verbal abuse.
Using your son as third party abuse
She’s lied to your son about you and poisoned him against you because she sees him as her possession to control.
Contact a psychologist who deals with narcissism for advice
Harassment is illegal
@@miladydewinter8551 thank you. I appreciate your comment. This is exactly 💯 what's happening and I didn't understand now im getting it
@@jacalyntaylor6721 harrasment is illegal, but its not illegal to ignore someone, that in fact is everyones right. Noone is entitled to anothers persons love or interest, attention or Time. Everyone has a right to say no to anyone or anything they want, its called freedom, one can not force feelings or someone to like you. What you can do is change how you respond or what and who and which treatment you tolerate in your life. you can not control what others do. if your son harrases you with words that is illegal yes and its your right to moove out or have him moove out if he is grown up age. noone has a right to harrass or insult someone......
even if in some cases it could be reactive abuse, which sometimes youngsters or children show, if they have a emotionally absent, emotionally cold, and emotionally or sometimes even physically abusive covert or overt narc parent, which i am not saying you are, but as a survivour of cultist narc upbringing i know that youngsters and children mostly never act up without some underlaying reason+ need therapy, counseling etc. plus parents are responsible for their kids emotional and physicall and spiritual wellbeing not vice versa!! but when we reach maturity we are fully responsible for our life, feelings, deeds and happiness. Also everyone is entitled to their own Uniqueness, Opinions, Worldview and ought to allow themselves to live their life freely, unbothered and the way they deem fit. Only rule: never do to anyone anything which you would not want to be done to you. :) I hope this helps.
She told me *u r tooo happy* and i was so pissed in this Moment. I knew in my Intuition what is going on right now and told her something to argue with her. Nowadays i wouldnt talk a Word, just walk away
You can hear the energy that is why people ask... Are u OK?
You are amazing. Thank you so much for helping those in need. You are an angel on earth. Amen
Each and every analysis is spot on Michele.
And you're looking gorgeous. Just a compliment🙂
You are stunning! Best description of covert narcissism I've read anywhere. Thank you so much and God bless you!
Holy shit this is where i learned my narcissism tendencies and my self sabotage. I remember graduating from college and none of my family members even acknowledged it.
What you say is so real !!!!
Wow this is so accurate I've been going thru this my whole life. God Bless you!
Ty Michele. Ty . This explanation was so helpful with a current upsetting situation
Thank you for sharing this information and insight! I have been recovering from senior abuse by a narcissistic roommate!
Thank you Michele!
so accurate
You explained this amazingly clear! Ive been trying to understand covert for a while now but havent been able to fully get it until now. Thank you for all the examples, i found it really made it clear for me.
Hi, my name is Tracy,
I have been suffering for 16 years from my kids dad who is a narcissistic abusive alcoholic and have come close to death from his actions twice. I also have lost a baby do to his poor decisions. Now at 10 and 13 years of age of my daughter's, I left him and got an OFP against him in March and just a couple weeks ago he violated the OFP and tried to break in the house. After jail he got out and wanted to see the girls for a visit for his birthday and father's day so I met with his family to drop them off like a normal visit for a couple nights because I had to and he never returned them and he filed for child support and his sister has control of the property I'm living in because she manages the company. I am so lost and feel week for all he has done. He manipulates everything, including the system. When he was pulled over, the police didn't even give him a breathalyzer or drug test him when he was extremely intoxicated and another substance in his system. He wants revenge on me for putting him in jail and because he doesn't have me to control. What should I or can I do?
File reports with police,get solicitors involved,contact women's domestic abuse charities ,have a support system full of sensible people with only your best interest at heart.DON'T GO BACK TO HIM IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS.There must be some help in America( If that is where you are )for people in your circumstances.Stay safe and try to escape,without telling anyone.
good analysis
Thank you for explaining this so well
11:50 exactly dear Michele. They need to externalize their sadistic superego. Great video.
Precisely...
NAILED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for your help and support Michele.
Great video. I identify so much with those patterns from my mother! Something to work on…
I AM SO VERY GREATFUL FOR YOU, THANK YOU❣️ I greatly appreciate you and how much you've helped me along this long road of healing on my way to self love and emotional/mental health. God Bless your beautiful soul 🙏 😇
For my parents found intolerable that I had other people attention when we were in pública, they would do and say anyting to make me feel ashamed of myshelf. No I realize that this is the origin of my social anxity!
Loved the tips🌹
Had a Narc Stepdad and Mom lol, I survived...... I live with 2 Narcs now ha ha. We are all Narcs on some level, I'm glad I'm more empathetic than some others. JESUS ROCKS!!
No. Not everyone is a cluster b. Not everyone is sadistic and needs to hurt and demean others in order to feel good about themselves. What everyone needs to have is a solid ego = sense of I AM in order to build boundaries around it, but narcissists don’t have that. They do not have a solid core and shapeshift every day, however way they will inconvenience and exasperate people the most in order to feed off of them and destroy them. Not everyone is completely incapable of empathy, responsibility, accountability, adaptation, and honesty.
No one is a narcissist but a cluster b = the abusive, evil, manipulative, entitled, violent, neglectful people of the world.
The first way, really resonates with my experience!
My ex would literally tell me “I can’t be happy for you right now…”, followed by all the reason’s her life is terrible. Who says shit like that?! The empathy I felt for her and her struggles were never reciprocated. Ever. I thought I loved her, but the truth was I was afraid of what she would do if I left.
Thank you for the video. It is VERY validating and life changing
Oh wow… the example you used about grades in school was exactly my childhood 😢
I love your content ❤️ truly great
Omg. You are describing my entire relationship
27 years
Thumbnail pic with you sitting to the left, in the background while smiling, gave me a chuckle 😄
My parents paid attention to me , accepted me, complimented me, after they died, my Mom in 2016 , my Dad in 2010 & I'm an adult , the youngest of 4 , my siblings are a lot older , 6, 10 & 12 years older, i was clise to my sister who was 6 years older only . had me when my Mom was 39. I'm a Nurse. My Mom had Alzheimers dad had a 2nd stroke & had denentia. The only time my siblings & I havent gotten along & my Sister & 1 of my brothers has controlling acted like they have Narcissism is when I'd try to make decisions with our Mom & Dad. I've always been quiet, a empath , a pleaser, but when I knew something well , like taking care of elderly from eirking in the community i wss assertive , i believe they weren't accustomed to me speaking up. I had been working on my shyness & assertiveness, but they were angry at me for speaking up.
& when i had an opinion & talked to the Dr about my Dad after his 2nd stroke.
My ex who was narcissistic & I divorced , 3 years after he broke into my place & physucally aggravated assaulted me , my sister wasnt supportive as i needed, but victim shamed me
I felt like venting thank you
She smear campaigned me & my ex did, I read what she did was
****Another trauma, Secondary Trauma
It took a long time to process this, I did not have very much support , from any if my immediate family, she spread smear campaign to my kids , my adult kids, think I'm "paranoid" , & how do i know she soread gossip ? So its making me feel crazy, , my sister has given me the sane reaction though , & she said I'm dwelling on the past that's a long time ago, & she denies spreading(, but I mostly cut ties , but when we did talk) thank you
my sister is the narcissist in my life
I’m learning to love myself