I'm not non-binary, but I heard what you said about your pronouns and decided to make this comment. Have you heard of Ash Hardell? She's an amazing youtuber who makes content about the things they're passionate about. He is non-binary and they are absolutely beautiful. She loves his wife/partner Grace, and Grace loves them. Thank you for being an amazing person, and an inspiration for a lot of people in the LGBTQIA+ community. THANK YOU ASH!!! ❤💛💚💙💜
See, this is one of the rare instances where being a Southerner works in my favor. We have the perfect, natural, non-gender-specific way of addressing a group of people. "Y'all." For example, "Hey, y'all!" It's very useful.
ᗩ乙Ꭵᖇᗩᖺᗩᙓᒪ No, gender dysphoria is the cause which is mental illness that causes extreme depression, schizophrenia, anxiety for one's gender, etc. and trans usually regret their transition leading to that 41%. Facts > Feelings
Bro gender dysphoria is real man dafuq you saying they don't exist now? So you guys can exist but ppl with gender dishpoira can't? the diversity in here is awful.
I didn't know "pronoun indifferent" was a thing and thAT'S SO EXCITING & FREEING. I don't personally feel misgendered by pronouns; I feel misgendered and dysphoric when gender roles are imposed upon me and if someone purposefully negates my genderqueer identity. Thank you, Chase & Ash, for consistently expanding my perspectives, compassion, and vocabulary!
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328 I have to wonder how awful your life must be that you find it good to encourage other people in a bad situation to commit suicide. It's almost like you fear us, and your own identity. Wonder what you are afraid of?
I relate to Ash’s struggle with internalized issues soooo much. I had the same thought process of “I’ll just hang in there forever.” When deciding whether or not to come out to my parents. When I came out to my friends as NB they literally looked at me and said “I know. You didn’t use that word, but we’ve had this discussion before.” It’s crazy how repressed I was. I’m so grateful to people like Ash and Chase and Aaron for helping me to be comfortable enough to come out.
ihatemrwires There are some things that I would like to do transition wise. I want to change my name, get top surgery and maybe take testosterone. I'm still on the fence about the last one though.
ihatemrwires Hey, careful- you don’t know what a person does and does not wish to do with their body. And, frankly, it’s not your business. 😕 You shouldn’t police people on what labels or pronouns they feel most comfortable using. The trans experience is a very wide and diverse one; no one person’s transition is going to be the same and you can’t define how “trans” someone is by that... and saying otherwise is just really disrespectful other peoples’ bodily autonomy.
ihatemrwires ooooh a transmedicalist LOL. shut up, nonbinary people are trans. also like... nonbinary people transition all the time anyway? and binary trans people dont transition all the time as well so... deal with it?
I think I'm non binary but I just feel like it will make things complicated, I am known as nb on the Internet but in real life I'm not. I hope that one day I can be comfortable with myself and coming out to others and I hope anyone else in my situation will keep hope xx
dackjanielsmeup but not a lot of people identify as it, where as I am much more comfortable using they/them pronouns than I am with using he/him or she/her xx
K Okay Yeah I definitely came out as non-binary on the internet before I came out to my partner or anybody else. I spent so much time identifying as FTM and being scared of my femininity that having this online Persona that I could live through really helped me sort things out within myself
"I feel so much gender" really spoke to me. I can switch genders rapidly or even feel more than one at once and it's EXHAUSTING and hard to describe to people who don't experience it.
I used to be one of those people who was adamantly sure that nonbinary people didn’t exist and I refused to call people by they/them pronouns. Until one of my best friends came out as nonbinary/genderfluid. This friend I have known since we were in junior high and we don’t even go to the same high school and we still talk, so it just made me realize that nonbinary doesn’t have to be what you see in all the ‘nonbinary cringe’ videos. They genuinely experience dysphoria around femininity and their birth name and being perceived as a female, but they don’t feel completely comfortable saying ‘I am a man’ and using he/him pronouns. They can’t explain why this is, they just know that they want to feel comfortable. They always text me saying how upset they are when people refuse to use their preferred name or that their parents refuse to let them teach their younger brothers their pronouns. and it makes me really sad to think of my best friend in that situation just because of how their gender manifests. So even though I still don’t really ‘get’ the whole nonbinary issue, I have learned to respect it even if I don’t like it, because it’s not hurting me and all those people want is to just be respected and live their life happily, and it’s so disgusting how people out there will just blatantly refuse to let them do that.
Right? Whenever someone asks why I use they/them pronouns for my friends I just say, "If you could do one small thing to make a friend of yours happy and comfortable and it was at no cost to you, wouldn't you do it?" It's just so silly not to.
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328 okay but would you not do things to be a decent human being? Depression is also a severe illness that makes people believe things that maybe are not true, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t care for them and do things for them that would make life easier for them that literally cost you nothing, because at the end of the day they can’t control it. People act like folks with gender dysphoria chose it and they can control it and treat them like some sort of freak.
ᗩ乙Ꭵᖇᗩᖺᗩᙓᒪ Gender is equal to sex, biological & tied to hormones and genes, not to feelings, so there are only 2. If you think you're a Yamato Battleship, you aren't triggered snowflake
Actually, my understanding was that "binarism" is used to refer to the forcing of European binary gender and gender roles onto other cultures, i.e. the intersection of imperialism and trans/nonbinary-phobia, rather than more general stuff. I believe "exorsexism" can be used for general nonbinary-phobia, although I'm not sure how common that is, and I could certainly be wrong.
Ash, your words resonated a lot with me. I finally allowed myself to come out (as nb and trans) SIMPLY BECAUSE I COULDN'T HANDLE HIDING CONSTANTLY. and it was both. horrible and great. I got a lot of backlash and I did end up losing friends, but it was the best decision I could've made for my personal health. You and Chase have helped me become comfortable with myself! When I feel down, I watch your videos and it helps so much. Thanks 💜
Hoi! I too am a Nonbinary persona, and it really sucks when I feel like I have to constantly justify my feelings. I appreciate you both for coming out as who you really are, and Ash, you really inspired me to buy you book and to donate it to my workplace.
"Guys" doesn't have to just mean people who identify as male. I'm from B.C. (Canada) and the only people I've met who use the term in a gender specific way are either quite old or obsessed with forcing everyone in gender specific roles and boxes.
アイス, Yes. Probably. Still, if you use guys to mean everyone and in a non gender specific way then I can't see how that should offend anyone. Myself, I've always been glad that most people around here talk like that. I prefer it to all of the people who insist on referring to you by your perceived gender.
Awesome! Two of my most favourite you tuber's in one video talking about a topic I have been waiting for and one of the first viewers! Thank you both so much you have helped me through so much
I've never understood the difficulty with "they" pronouns. Like I don't know if it's just... mental laziness to not have to think about using he or she, but I usually just use they for everyone lol Or I'll use it interchangeably with he/she for the same person. For example I'll be like "Yeah, Billy came in. And they were carrying a cake and I didn't understand why he was carrying a cake and then they told me why. And then Sally came in and she also asked why he was carrying a cake but then they thought about it and remembered that it was Susan's birthday."
@@personaldanceparty5518 Idk about in other languages, but in English, "they" has been singular as well as plural even before the days of Shakespeare. Sure people should get grace but this isn't a new thing and it's ridiculous to me that people who have absolutely 100% been using "they" for their entire lives to suddenly have an issue with it when someone requests that they use only that word to refer to them.
@@stickinug my son is disabled. People still sometimes use the “R” word. I don’t get bent out of shape. I correct them and give them grace... Thant’s all I’m saying.. people need to give each other grace... it’s sometimes frustrating and annoying... but I’ve learned giving people grace is worth it
Wow so I sat thru a 2.5 minute sports ad for this, and Im so glad I did because this video was fantastic - Im so glad you've made this! Definitely make more collabs with Ash!
In spanish we have enebefobia to describe transfobia specifically towards non binary people. it's called like that because it comes from N-B fobia, in spanish those letters are pronounced as ene and be, so... Ene Be fobia. In english it could be enbifobia? idk
My first language is Spanish and I've had a question for a long time i don't know the answer for, maybe you could help me?? If I'd met a non-binary person who used they/them pronouns how would I translate that in my head? Because "they" can both be "ellos" and "ellas" and I wouldn't want to offend anybody. Sorry if its a lot to ask!
I'm so psyched to see videos with Ash. Both Aaron and Chase made some recently and I love seeing these collabs. I also identify as trans and non-binary, and I have to say Ash's representation helped me come to terms with my gender identity.
Same here! At the end of the day, I feel rather masc but also _very much_ nonbinary- so mine and Ash’s experiences differ in that. But Ash’s advocacy and general openness has really really helped me _so much_ on my journey as questioning. Chase, too! I love it so much when Chase, Aaron, and Ash are collabing with each other- it makes me feel so good. Definitely my favorite RUclipsrs
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328 I have to wonder how awful your life must be that you find it good to encourage other people in a bad situation to commit suicide. It's almost like you fear us, and your own identity. Wonder what you are afraid of?
Tbh I never understood why it's difficult for some people to grasp the whole "they" pronoun thing. My native language is Spanish, and when I started learning English (self-taught) "they" as a singular pronoun was one of the first things I learned, like not even related to LGBT+ cause I was like 10 at the time and sadly didn't know yet that LGBT+ was a thing, "they" just was there? XD so I just assumed it was like a really common basic thing... So ig that's why I never got what's so difficult about it, cause it just happened to be one of the first things I learned about English
Me too dude. I'm Italian and I learned they randomly and I thought it was just an english thing, quite cool too because we don't have such an option in Italian. In fact I remember telling friends and family how cool it was that english used they as a singular pronoun when talking about a non specified person or something like that. Later I learned about nonbinary people and I'm still like "alright but I stumbled upon this, randomly, and I still got used to it, why would you make such a fuss, it's even your native language!"
bits&pices Ikr! I thought it was the most common thing when I first learned it. And yeah, it was pretty cool to find out about it too, cause Spanish doesn't have such an option either... I mean there's ways to talk in a gender neutral form but they're not really accepted nor on the dictionary XD maybe one day
Italian doesn't have any, unless you're counting the asterisk (but that's not easy to put in spoken language) and it's such a gendered language, I don' think english speaking folks get how lucky they are. In italian even verbs are declined based on gender, it's a freaking minefield
It it because straight people want to indoctrinate us with their silly biology books and make us feel that our gender can not be a cupcakedokidokifluid. Ignore them, man and you'll be just fine
"If I'm hanging in there now I could just hang in there forever" this is meee rn it sucks I hope everyone can have a point they can feel free and themselves
You could use the word _enbyphobia_ I think? Great video :D I wasn't comfortable calling myself trans for a long time as an agender person, but I'm getting there now.
Thank you for educating the cisgender folks like me that are genuinely interested/confused and want to understand better! Cause I thought I understood the whole gender umbrella identities pretty well and boy was I wrong. So I needed this. Thanks! ❤️
Let me make a relevant statement: This video's been very helpful as I haven't realized how much Ash's story resonates with me. I'm also still in Narnia (like in the closet *fingerguns*) due to transphobia and not wanting to deal with all the problems that being trans causes; I'm also just "hanging in there", which as the video helped me realize, isn't enough. So thank you both for creating this video
Two of my favourite youtubers in the same video??? Yes please!! I relate so much to Ash's fears before he came out I also asked people to use any pronoun when i first came out but they took that as an excuse to make no changes. They called me she she she all the time and it drove me nuts, so now i only go by they and my friends are more respecting of that "He" makes me happy too but right now i only have a lot of bad feelings associated with "she"
Great video. I think gatekeeping in the community is toxic for everyone including for people who otherwise identify as cis, because what it really does is put a wall up between people who are open to gender fluidity, and people who have never questioned the fixed gender roles that keep us all imprisoned in terms of whole human expression. Thanks so much for this video. I am also a AFAB nonbinary & pronoun flexible (I'd rather be called she than he, but also would rather be called sir than ma'am, feel like more of a guy than a girl, but more female than male), but even though I know I'm technically trans (definitely don't agree w/the gender I was assigned at birth - don't even agree that I should have been assigned any gender at birth), I tend to not identify with the label because I don't wanna deal with the struggle of defending myself as trans (so I definitely get that, as far as the steps it took for Ash to come out as trans). Love you both! Thanks for everything that you do!
i always understood transgender as an umbrella term and didn't only mean the binary... like, if you are non binary you are trans because you don't identify with your gender asigned at birth (which is what i understood as the definition for transgender). lenguages are hard because concepts have different definitions for different peeps haha love my non binary peeps :DDD love and support for all of you!
10:19. In the Philippines, we use "siya" as the singular he/she. We don't have gender specific he/she. we just use "siya". Some/most titles do have genders, but I do prefer and appreciate titles that are not gender specific. "Sila" is they/them. Maybe others find it difficult to use they/them to refer to 1 person since they/them was taught to us as a plural-collective pronoun. English language needs to have a neutral singular pronoun and title, I do know of Mx, but that too sounds so new to the tongue.
GeeCee it's some imagined statistic about trans suicide. Basically, they are a hateful troll. Look at a few threads. And you'll see they are advocating suicide for trans people. Honestly, i think they are projecting. They wish they had the courage to come out as trans. You know, like all the anti gay preachers that get caught with boys?
I try and advocate/educate people for the NBs where I can but I worry about talking over or taking up space, it's a tricky balance. Always out to support though
same i'm just. i was super suicidal and a danger to myself before i came to the realization i was nb. i didn't understand why i had dysphoria over not having a penis even though i never felt like a guy or why i never had a gender in my dreams (it was weird. i always had a penis but no specified gender in my dreams) and then i just realized one day that you don't have to id with either and i felt 10x better
Usually, gender dysporia "calms down" after your pubery and you feel at ease with your gender. Cutting body parts to make yourself believe that you can change genders, races or ages will lead you to suicide, hence the 41% suicide rate. Do a favor to yourself and stop watching this propaganda and you'll become truly happy man
As far as I understand it transgender literally means that someone doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at birth and people generally aren't assigned any non-binary identities at birth. So I personally think that non-binary people can fall under the trans umbrella if they feel that want to use that term for themselves. However, if I am aware that a non-binary person doesn't refer to themselves as trans then I won't refer to them as trans, I'll call them by what they say to refer to them as. In terms of pronouns, if I don't know someone's gender or what pronouns they use I'll try to use they. If I know that someone identifies as male or uses he pronouns I'll go for he unless they say differently, I'll also use she pronouns for those I know are female or use she unless they tell me differently.
I'm nonbinary AND trans!! We exist. I'm transitioning to be neutral / neither. There are non-binary folk who are not trans / do not want to identify as trans, that's fine! There are non-binary trans folk, and that's fine! Amazing video Chase!
@@lunatic_isra827 firstly, "trans" in "transgender" isnt short for transition. Transgender means you identify as something other than your agab. That being said, gender expression depends on the person. Dysphoria depends on the person. So some people dont tranisition physically at all, they don't feel the need to. Some people do because they want to BE genuinely themselves, it takes transition to do so. Some do so to relieve dysphoria. Transitioning socially is changing the language and identification others see you as and use for you. Again, not everyone feels the need to do so, but many do. They want to be seen as who they truly are!
Becoming-Jeffery how does that work? Like how can you have trans nonbinary people and just plain nonbinary people? Is it because they don't do any actual transitioning? Because in defining terms as ash said she defines trans being anything but cis so technically all nonbinary folk are trans whether they identify with it or not.. Can you help me understand?
Thank you for this video. I didn’t really understand how someone could identity as trans and non-binary (because I viewed trans as a binary thing). Very happy to have learned something today :)
It’s interesting, I actually see so much gender when looking at them too, it’s something about her energy, it’s great :D And he’s right, once you start mixing those pronouns up for them it’s not all that confusing, it actually feels right for him somehow :o
I grew up a '00s cishet male kid so it took me awhile to understand the full LGBTQ+ spectrum. It took awhile to understand "trans" identity outside of harmful transphobic jokes and arguments. Then, I had to understand that gender was a social construct and there exist those outside the gender binary (NB, agender, bigender, etc.) Eventually, I got to the point where I felt like I had a mostly comprehensive understanding of the different gender identities and sexualities (and anything I didn't understand I could immediately learn with a quick Google search). But then, I saw people with "trans NB" (and similar variations) on their profiles and I had a hard time wrapping my head around the concept. But I knew they existed and their experiences were valid and I wanted to learn and understand the whole concept. So this is why I'm checking out videos like these. And I gotta say I really appreciate the work you both are doing in helping to educate those who want to learn like myself. Plus I know I'll be learning and educating myself so thanks for all your hard work. ❤️
OH MY JESUS I never thought other people had the feeling/desire to continually use different pronouns to refer to me. I thought that was just a weird thing I felt. I’m so happy someone else has vocalized my feelings so precisely!!!
First Last aw, did someone miss their nap today?? Looks like little Grumpypants needs to stop trolling and go have a lie down, so they don’t get fussy anymore
oh my god, ive been feeling this way lately and thought that i had to choose between the two but it didnt feel right AT ALL. thank you so much for this!!
Morphy Arian Green I use Male pronouns most of the time, only using female pronouns rarely. I don't feel deserving of the term ftm because I don't want to get surgery or be on hormones due to health risk
Butters 'Buns some ftm trans people dont pursue medical transition due to health reasons as well c: you dont NEED to medically/physically transition to use the label "FTM"
Fluffeh Bijaczyk I guess I just feel like I'm dumbing down trans men when I say "I'm ftm and don't want/can't get surgery or hormones, since I don't experience the stigma associated with transitioning. For now I like the term trans masculine, but even then I feel shunned because i still use female pronouns rarely.
Butters 'Buns As a trans dude, I say use whatever terms and labels make you feel the most comfortable and the most valid! If the labels “ftm” and “trans masc” jive with you, own those labels. Honestly, you don’t _need_ my permission of course, but if this helps you- as is my hope- then great! However you wish to identify, regardless your personal journey, is _ok_ and 100% valid. Haters gonna hate, but the only person who knows you well enough to label how you feel, is you. That said, there’s no rush, either- take your time if you need to. Transitioning isn’t just about the medical procedures or HRT. If all you need to feel comfortable and content is to socially transition, that is absolutely ok. It’s your body, your life. You make the shots! Best of wishes 🙂
a good pure video. I'm right there with Ash, when he says she felt like they were just hanging in there irt transitioning / identifying as trans. I'm kind of the opposite, in which I've tried pushing away my nonbinary identity in favor of identifying as transmale, and vice versa in the past. now i'm happy IDing as a trans demiboy.
Ash's description of how they tried to suppress their identity is exactly what I did - for almost 15 years - prior to coming out as trans. For the longest time I just thought "I'm okay trying to just be a girl, plus I'm getting too old to transition and it's too expensive." My depression was spiraling out of control because of this thinking. Shortly before my 30th birthday, I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of pretending and denying and just being miserable. Since coming out and now being over a year into my medical transition, I've never been happier. I've stopped having suicidal thoughts and my depression is nowhere near where it used to be.
when you talked about a certain word clicking with different people that is how i describe my sexuality (im technically pan but identify as bi) and i sometimes still think im crazy cus for not gelling with the word pan because it would be so much easier to just say 'pan' than having to explain what bi means to me so its really cool to hear someone else with the same viewpoint as me ily ash and chase!!!!!!!!!!
I figured out I was a gender diverse/non binary person recently and it is hard... Its super scary coming out and trying to explain it to people when even I don't have all the vocabulary or knowledge to say what I'm feeling or what I'd liked to be called or what being non binary means... Especially going to an all girls school lol... And then there's all the self doubt and confusion... I love being authentically me but damn it sure ain't easy 😦 super cool to hear two awesome people chat about it so relatably - makes me feel a little less alone 😁😁😁
I'm non binary too, trying to figure out my gender. But I relate a 100% with Ash' story. I don't care if people don't believe we exist, we do and that's it. If people hate us for that, it's because their own identity depends of the man/woman binary . If they were comfortable with their own identity they wouldn't care.
I identify as Nebula SB282 & I totally understand you sister. Most straights do not accept us bcz they have these things called biology books and they want us to believe in them.Cis gendered people are the worst
You actually don't seem to know the difference between gender and sex, which is pretty basic. Your sarcasm is pathetic, keep your energy to read on the subject instead.
Ash is so cute, he has such a lovely way of explaining things, they is so clever at painting pictures with words of feelings that are hard to define. I love her exuberance when he feels like people get them.
I don't understand how people find it difficult to use they. I've always used it when I don't know the gender of someone even before I knew about non-binary people. I have always used it whenever someone mentions their doctor, their teacher, their professor etc. I mean like just now I'm talking about a hypothetical person and the hypothetical person could be any gender. But I didn't know Chase was non-binary I always thought his gender was male or at least that's what I thought he was communicating.
I am telling myself the same thing. I mean, is it so difficult to call me a shemale transistor for once? No! But these cis people keep saying to me that I need to study a biology book. Biology books are the wrok of the devil(man)(best animu)
Oh man, PRONOUN INDIFFERENT! I'm so glad you guys have like these educational moments along with the storytelling. Like, I want this to be edited like something you would see on PBS in the 90's (or maybe just since the 80's.) I mean that in the awesomest way possible. Love you people, great to see you two talk together! As a nonbinary squiggle tran with pronoun indifference, but THERE'S COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT IT, as well as a watcher of both of you, I can relate to so much. To putting things off, but still leaving breadcrumbs, and then I see other people doing the same thing, I'm with Chase in... I KNEW it! Anyways, this video is really validating and it makes me feel comfy to know that there are other people out there who are comfy in their identity. This part especially struck me: A-"I was hanging in there, I was doing okay, but- C-"...You're not you." A- ""RIGHT. Uh-huh... :/ And I thought ''Well, if I'm hanging in there now, I could just hang in there forever.' Isn't it sad? I KNOW. But then, one day, I wanted to do more than just hang in there...?" Thanks for getting me one day closer to doing more than just hanging in there.
Thank you so much for this video! I watched this and after almost every sentence I was like THAT'S ME! Especially the part with feeling comfortable with every pronoun and not coming out because you don't want to deal with the bs
Omg I have never met someone who also wants to use interchangeable pronouns! I want all of them! The switching validates me, dang it! Thank you for this video!
To my understanding, nonbinary is like an umbrella term with other things like genderqueer or genderfluid or agender falling under it. There are trans binary people who identity as he/she and nonbinary people are just like the various grey areas.
So if nonbinary is identifying as a gender that falls outside the binary what is that gender? I have only ever known that there exists men and women so thats two genders.
It's a thing and there are people who identify with it! It's an interesting label because it comes with a lot of nuance. Because "pan" implies all, some people use pangender to mean they feel like every gender. However, since some gender identities are culture-specific (such as two-spirit) which would be inappropriate to identify with if you weren't part of that culture, some people use pangender to mean they identify with all the genders they have access to (for lack of better phrasing). So yeah, it's a really interesting label, and I'd like to meet someone someday who identifies with it! c:
when you were talking about interchangeable pronouns it reminded me of when i was first coming out and identifying as non binary when one of my close friends would somehow use every pronoun they could think of in the same sentence talking about me 😂 every single time it happened i would laugh so hard but i really do thank them for just getting it so quick, it helped me later figure out that i’m trans ftm
I love Ash’s bi, pan, multisexual comment. I use bisexual to refer to my sexuality and define it (often explicitly to other people) as attraction to the same and other genders. I know that realistically I “should” use pan as gender is not a factor in attraction, for me, but it isn’t comfy for me so I use my preferred descriptor and explain the rest. As for non-binary folk and wishing all pronouns could be used interchangeably, that’s exactly home one of my partners feels about their pronouns and honestly, I feel like a bad partner for primarily using they/them to refer to her but I know it’s better than consistently using him (my partner is amab) so I settle for being an okay partner.
I think a lot of the enbyphobia stems from the fact that nonbinary gender hasn't been a distinct thing for very long. Of course nonbinary people always existed, but in the past they might have called themselves queer or crossdressers or transvestites or whatever because the proper language wasn't invented yet. Eventually the cringe compilations will fade out as the people making them realize they've been asshats all along.
Mattilda Also, intersex people exist! What if they like being exactly who they are! Are they supposed to be binary because otherwise their gender & sexual makeup are invalid?! This is insane to me. Binarism/enbyphobia is ultimately anti-human.
actually, non binary people have existed in many african, asian, and native north american cultures!! sadly, most people write it off as being “weird” :/
I know. Back in the days of ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia Rome... nonbinary was the ideal, a godlike state of being. Too bad those civilisations collapsed.
Thanks for explaining this!!!!!! Now I would really love to hear a conversation with a non-binary person who identifies as a "non-binary girl" or a "non-binary boy". As a transperson who has always thought the binary genders were "girl" and "boy" and whose identity lies within that binary, I still struggle to understand where these people are coming from with these labels. Thanks u two. Keep doing what u do
Non-binary literally makes no sense when you actual think about it. The binary is male and female, you can't identify as something that doesn't exist. If you're trans and non-binary then you're still either a male or a female, you just like to wear more masculine clothes or more feminine clothes when you like. If you take away material things you're still either a man or a woman, which is why this makes no sense at all. When it comes to 'hate' it seems like you just ignore anything you don't want to hear which is why this world has such a massive issue moving forward. Not opening up discussion and just ignoring or removing things that you disagree with, won't move things forward. Why do you think there are cringe comps about sjw's and non-binary people and fat acceptance and femenists? It's because the majority of those people won't actually have a civil conversation about it, they just want everyone to accept them and that be that. Why not just take the time to actually listen to what people are saying, then discuss it.
Can totally use alternating pronouns for you Ash! That's not hard! Your genders are all valid! Sounds freaking cool as well! Side note I find it fun the idea of bouncing different pronouns around if you're happy with it. :) Things like "He wore her cap" where it's clear from the greater context that there's only one person being referred to (or are you plural? Please clarify if I'm wrong) so people in conversation then ask or it makes me clarify to people - great way to raise awareness re NB people as well! But most importantly because it's what you want and everyone's gender identity should be respected!
I would appreciate if you made your videos based on logic and not feelings. It's literally you getting butthurt. You can't prove your point that way, you have to give evidence, be open to people's thoughts on this subject, and not be so quick to get "triggered".
...do you understand how science works? you cant make a statement that anything is an objective fact, everything is just a theory. how could anyone "prove" their gender? it's impossible, you can only take what people tell you as true, or they are ALL wrong. why are you only questioning the legitimacy of some peoples genders and not everyones?
I do understand how science works and nonbinary is a relatively new idea, so there isn't much to go by. I do not believe everything that is said to me, like what you said, because I have my own right to my own opinion. That doesn't mean you have to try to prove anything to me, because it's not going to change my mind, unless you found something that is actually useful in this conversation that I can actually agree with. That is the problem with some people in this community, you think that you are all on the same page, but you aren't. People have different views and that is okay. You don't have to attack everyone else with different views on different subjects. I'm tired of the toxicity of this feminism-sjw bullcrap.
i'm merely pointing out the lack of logic in your statements. the concept of being nonbinary is not a new thing either, so again you are showing your lack of knowledge in the topic (which is not necessarily bad, however you've clearly made your mind up about it without doing any research on your own.) many cultures from all over the world throughout history have recognised non male and non female gender, genderfluidity and such. not only, but in the past decade alone there has been a cascade of research into nonbinary people. you still aren't responding to my arguments? it seems you aren't actually interested in learning more, though i hope thats not the case. you're assumptions that non binary identities are not as 'real' as other genders is not based in any consistent logic. i ask again, why do you only question the legitimacy of non binary genders and not everyones genders? since no gender can be "proven" through science.
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I LOVED FILMING WITH YOU YOUR GREAT THAT IS ALL.
Ash Hardell as another trans Non binary person I thank u for making this vid!!!!
I'm not non-binary, but I heard what you said about your pronouns and decided to make this comment.
Have you heard of Ash Hardell? She's an amazing youtuber who makes content about the things they're passionate about. He is non-binary and they are absolutely beautiful. She loves his wife/partner Grace, and Grace loves them. Thank you for being an amazing person, and an inspiration for a lot of people in the LGBTQIA+ community. THANK YOU ASH!!! ❤💛💚💙💜
When I found out you were pronoun indifferent I started alternating between she, they and he, sometimes even in the same sentence.
I saw you speak at VidCon a few years ago and honestly always thought you were enby tbh
I'm non-binary trans as well and this video was great Ash, thank you. I'm also pronoun indifferent, this is amazing.
See, this is one of the rare instances where being a Southerner works in my favor. We have the perfect, natural, non-gender-specific way of addressing a group of people. "Y'all." For example, "Hey, y'all!" It's very useful.
B.C. you're right!!
You know that TV is different from trans-gender, right?
ᗩ乙Ꭵᖇᗩᖺᗩᙓᒪ They usually promote non binary Awards in TV
B.C.
“You” can be used to refer to a group of people.
Lance Boyle And i hope you eventually grow up.
"I feel so much gender" lol that is me that is my highschool quote
Most of the cause of those suicide is... people like you.
ᗩ乙Ꭵᖇᗩᖺᗩᙓᒪ No, gender dysphoria is the cause which is mental illness that causes extreme depression, schizophrenia, anxiety for one's gender, etc. and trans usually regret their transition leading to that 41%. Facts > Feelings
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328 and yet you won't be able to provide those facts, will you?
Bro gender dysphoria is real man dafuq you saying they don't exist now? So you guys can exist but ppl with gender dishpoira can't? the diversity in here is awful.
@MAHDURAH UCHIWAWA sorry didn't realise you were a psychologist
Me: _tells a friend about the "non-phobia" part_
Friend: "The word for people who have a phobia of nonbinary people is "idiots""
Accurate
Yrs
That is a good friend, my heart hugs them x
I LOVE THAT
I didn't know "pronoun indifferent" was a thing and thAT'S SO EXCITING & FREEING. I don't personally feel misgendered by pronouns; I feel misgendered and dysphoric when gender roles are imposed upon me and if someone purposefully negates my genderqueer identity. Thank you, Chase & Ash, for consistently expanding my perspectives, compassion, and vocabulary!
THANK YOU SAME 💅🙏
i feel the latter on larger scale I guess, but I still get dysphoria when I’m repeatedly misgendered with pronouns
I COMPLETELY FORGOT IT WAS A THING!!
"I feel so much gender" ~Ash Hardell, Im tempted to actually make that my senior quote since Im graduating this year lol
MintKittie dO IT
I SUPPORT THIS 🙌
I feel somuch gender.... dysphoria, you mean, right?
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328
I have to wonder how awful your life must be that you find it good to encourage other people in a bad situation to commit suicide. It's almost like you fear us, and your own identity. Wonder what you are afraid of?
I relate to Ash’s struggle with internalized issues soooo much. I had the same thought process of “I’ll just hang in there forever.” When deciding whether or not to come out to my parents. When I came out to my friends as NB they literally looked at me and said “I know. You didn’t use that word, but we’ve had this discussion before.” It’s crazy how repressed I was. I’m so grateful to people like Ash and Chase and Aaron for helping me to be comfortable enough to come out.
Isa Quinones ahahahahaha
Same tho
I struggle a lot with identifing as trans because I'm genderfluid /nonbinary and sometimes I think that I'm not "trans enough."
Lizzy Grace yeah that's that internalized gatekeeper talking. It's such a strong voice (and we don't need it in our community!).
Because you aren't. If you don't want to transition, you aren't trans. It's as simple as that. Those are just the facts.
ihatemrwires There are some things that I would like to do transition wise. I want to change my name, get top surgery and maybe take testosterone. I'm still on the fence about the last one though.
ihatemrwires Hey, careful- you don’t know what a person does and does not wish to do with their body. And, frankly, it’s not your business. 😕 You shouldn’t police people on what labels or pronouns they feel most comfortable using. The trans experience is a very wide and diverse one; no one person’s transition is going to be the same and you can’t define how “trans” someone is by that... and saying otherwise is just really disrespectful other peoples’ bodily autonomy.
ihatemrwires ooooh a transmedicalist LOL. shut up, nonbinary people are trans. also like... nonbinary people transition all the time anyway? and binary trans people dont transition all the time as well so... deal with it?
I think I'm non binary but I just feel like it will make things complicated, I am known as nb on the Internet but in real life I'm not. I hope that one day I can be comfortable with myself and coming out to others and I hope anyone else in my situation will keep hope xx
dackjanielsmeup but not a lot of people identify as it, where as I am much more comfortable using they/them pronouns than I am with using he/him or she/her xx
K Okay
Yeah I definitely came out as non-binary on the internet before I came out to my partner or anybody else. I spent so much time identifying as FTM and being scared of my femininity that having this online Persona that I could live through really helped me sort things out within myself
K Okay omg same! I think about coming out and I just cant.. not yet... :hugs:
I feel the same way. I'm probably not going to come out until someone questions me about my gender, although that might change in the future.
K. L. Onassis yeah, I totally get you xx *hugs
"I feel so much gender" really spoke to me. I can switch genders rapidly or even feel more than one at once and it's EXHAUSTING and hard to describe to people who don't experience it.
I used to be one of those people who was adamantly sure that nonbinary people didn’t exist and I refused to call people by they/them pronouns. Until one of my best friends came out as nonbinary/genderfluid. This friend I have known since we were in junior high and we don’t even go to the same high school and we still talk, so it just made me realize that nonbinary doesn’t have to be what you see in all the ‘nonbinary cringe’ videos. They genuinely experience dysphoria around femininity and their birth name and being perceived as a female, but they don’t feel completely comfortable saying ‘I am a man’ and using he/him pronouns. They can’t explain why this is, they just know that they want to feel comfortable. They always text me saying how upset they are when people refuse to use their preferred name or that their parents refuse to let them teach their younger brothers their pronouns. and it makes me really sad to think of my best friend in that situation just because of how their gender manifests. So even though I still don’t really ‘get’ the whole nonbinary issue, I have learned to respect it even if I don’t like it, because it’s not hurting me and all those people want is to just be respected and live their life happily, and it’s so disgusting how people out there will just blatantly refuse to let them do that.
Right? Whenever someone asks why I use they/them pronouns for my friends I just say, "If you could do one small thing to make a friend of yours happy and comfortable and it was at no cost to you, wouldn't you do it?" It's just so silly not to.
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328 okay but would you not do things to be a decent human being? Depression is also a severe illness that makes people believe things that maybe are not true, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t care for them and do things for them that would make life easier for them that literally cost you nothing, because at the end of the day they can’t control it. People act like folks with gender dysphoria chose it and they can control it and treat them like some sort of freak.
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328
Except you cannot define, defend or even justify the binary, can you?
Wolf Maiden
I'd say you're doing good.
ᗩ乙Ꭵᖇᗩᖺᗩᙓᒪ Gender is equal to sex, biological & tied to hormones and genes, not to feelings, so there are only 2. If you think you're a Yamato Battleship, you aren't triggered snowflake
Perfect timing! I just came out as non-binary trans to my mom it went well.
Angel Crissman so happy to hear that!
Congrats!!:))
I'm so happy for you! that's great!!
AWESOME
Angel Crissman
I feel you, man. I recently told my mom that I identify as a door mat and she hugged me and encouraged me
I've seen 'binarism' as a word for like "nonbinary-phobia"
Actually, my understanding was that "binarism" is used to refer to the forcing of European binary gender and gender roles onto other cultures, i.e. the intersection of imperialism and trans/nonbinary-phobia, rather than more general stuff. I believe "exorsexism" can be used for general nonbinary-phobia, although I'm not sure how common that is, and I could certainly be wrong.
ohhh that makes sense, I must have misinterpereted it
I hear exorsexism and enbyphobia
Yep also familiar with exorsexism as the word to define nonbinary exclusion, discrimination, and harassment
I’m pretty sure that Genderism is a word for this. I think it has a Wikipedia page too but I’m too lazy to look for it.
I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD
No. 1 Fander angelicaaaaa
Yesss Hamilfandom
All the way from London? Damn!
oh wait i wasn't even aware that i was making a hamilton reference lol
No. 1 Fander This is hilarious *because* you didn't know lmao
Ash, your words resonated a lot with me. I finally allowed myself to come out (as nb and trans) SIMPLY BECAUSE I COULDN'T HANDLE HIDING CONSTANTLY. and it was both. horrible and great. I got a lot of backlash and I did end up losing friends, but it was the best decision I could've made for my personal health. You and Chase have helped me become comfortable with myself! When I feel down, I watch your videos and it helps so much. Thanks 💜
Hoi! I too am a Nonbinary persona, and it really sucks when I feel like I have to constantly justify my feelings. I appreciate you both for coming out as who you really are, and Ash, you really inspired me to buy you book and to donate it to my workplace.
"Guys" doesn't have to just mean people who identify as male. I'm from B.C. (Canada) and the only people I've met who use the term in a gender specific way are either quite old or obsessed with forcing everyone in gender specific roles and boxes.
LL T or dudes. You're a dude I'm a dude your grad parents are dudes the table is dude
Paige Hett, Yes. I hate how some people insist that it's dudette.
LL T honestly, I think that’s just a thing here in canada and some states lmaoo
アイス, Yes. Probably. Still, if you use guys to mean everyone and in a non gender specific way then I can't see how that should offend anyone.
Myself, I've always been glad that most people around here talk like that. I prefer it to all of the people who insist on referring to you by your perceived gender.
Awesome! Two of my most favourite you tuber's in one video talking about a topic I have been waiting for and one of the first viewers! Thank you both so much you have helped me through so much
I've never understood the difficulty with "they" pronouns.
Like I don't know if it's just... mental laziness to not have to think about using he or she, but I usually just use they for everyone lol
Or I'll use it interchangeably with he/she for the same person. For example I'll be like "Yeah, Billy came in. And they were carrying a cake and I didn't understand why he was carrying a cake and then they told me why. And then Sally came in and she also asked why he was carrying a cake but then they thought about it and remembered that it was Susan's birthday."
It’s not mental laziness.. it’s difficult because we learned a different use of that pronoun..give people some grace
@@personaldanceparty5518 Idk about in other languages, but in English, "they" has been singular as well as plural even before the days of Shakespeare. Sure people should get grace but this isn't a new thing and it's ridiculous to me that people who have absolutely 100% been using "they" for their entire lives to suddenly have an issue with it when someone requests that they use only that word to refer to them.
@@stickinug my son is disabled. People still sometimes use the “R” word. I don’t get bent out of shape. I correct them and give them grace... Thant’s all I’m saying.. people need to give each other grace... it’s sometimes frustrating and annoying... but I’ve learned giving people grace is worth it
Wow so I sat thru a 2.5 minute sports ad for this, and Im so glad I did because this video was fantastic - Im so glad you've made this!
Definitely make more collabs with Ash!
1 dislike? Haha, someone has their phone upside down!
sHit kILL mE 96 persons clever****
Nek Minnut over 120 dislikes. Good to know at least some people aren’t being fooled by this sort of delusion.
*insert reference here* that pfp looks like Rich from Bmc
*insert reference here*
No. I have the guts to say that this is just sick. Which is okay, but not healthy.
Its because this is terrible content
I sub to both of you and even bought Ashes book. You both are so amazing and give such great information. Much love and respect!!
Crazy, I meant Ash's
In spanish we have enebefobia to describe transfobia specifically towards non binary people. it's called like that because it comes from N-B fobia, in spanish those letters are pronounced as ene and be, so... Ene Be fobia. In english it could be enbifobia? idk
idk if that made any sense at all
My first language is Spanish and I've had a question for a long time i don't know the answer for, maybe you could help me?? If I'd met a non-binary person who used they/them pronouns how would I translate that in my head? Because "they" can both be "ellos" and "ellas" and I wouldn't want to offend anybody.
Sorry if its a lot to ask!
Ni idea de que esa palabra existia,gracias por enseñarle a la comunidad de youtube cosas nuevas 😊
In spanish we use "elle", for the rest of the words you just put an "e" at the end. Like "linde" (cute), "rubie" (blond).
Zack Aleksy Zamaro Joannas Thanks!!
I love this! If chase comes to Minnesota they should do a meet up together
I'm so psyched to see videos with Ash. Both Aaron and Chase made some recently and I love seeing these collabs. I also identify as trans and non-binary, and I have to say Ash's representation helped me come to terms with my gender identity.
Same here!
At the end of the day, I feel rather masc but also _very much_ nonbinary- so mine and Ash’s experiences differ in that. But Ash’s advocacy and general openness has really really helped me _so much_ on my journey as questioning. Chase, too!
I love it so much when Chase, Aaron, and Ash are collabing with each other- it makes me feel so good. Definitely my favorite RUclipsrs
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328
I have to wonder how awful your life must be that you find it good to encourage other people in a bad situation to commit suicide. It's almost like you fear us, and your own identity. Wonder what you are afraid of?
ᗩ乙Ꭵᖇᗩᖺᗩᙓᒪ Do you like gay pride parades?
Your cringe
Tbh I never understood why it's difficult for some people to grasp the whole "they" pronoun thing.
My native language is Spanish, and when I started learning English (self-taught) "they" as a singular pronoun was one of the first things I learned, like not even related to LGBT+ cause I was like 10 at the time and sadly didn't know yet that LGBT+ was a thing, "they" just was there? XD so I just assumed it was like a really common basic thing... So ig that's why I never got what's so difficult about it, cause it just happened to be one of the first things I learned about English
Me too dude. I'm Italian and I learned they randomly and I thought it was just an english thing, quite cool too because we don't have such an option in Italian. In fact I remember telling friends and family how cool it was that english used they as a singular pronoun when talking about a non specified person or something like that. Later I learned about nonbinary people and I'm still like "alright but I stumbled upon this, randomly, and I still got used to it, why would you make such a fuss, it's even your native language!"
bits&pices Ikr! I thought it was the most common thing when I first learned it. And yeah, it was pretty cool to find out about it too, cause Spanish doesn't have such an option either... I mean there's ways to talk in a gender neutral form but they're not really accepted nor on the dictionary XD maybe one day
Italian doesn't have any, unless you're counting the asterisk (but that's not easy to put in spoken language) and it's such a gendered language, I don' think english speaking folks get how lucky they are. In italian even verbs are declined based on gender, it's a freaking minefield
It it because straight people want to indoctrinate us with their silly biology books and make us feel that our gender can not be a cupcakedokidokifluid. Ignore them, man and you'll be just fine
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328 that’s a load of horse shit. Pro nons have nothing to do with gender. Know your English. And don’t be so sensitive.
"If I'm hanging in there now I could just hang in there forever" this is meee rn it sucks I hope everyone can have a point they can feel free and themselves
You could use the word _enbyphobia_ I think? Great video :D I wasn't comfortable calling myself trans for a long time as an agender person, but I'm getting there now.
Timna V Yeah plz don't cut your wee wee by listening to these idiotic shills talking about gender
I'm transgender non-binary genderfluid, just subscribed to Ash(:
What the hell does that mean? Please educate me
Thank you for educating the cisgender folks like me that are genuinely interested/confused and want to understand better! Cause I thought I understood the whole gender umbrella identities pretty well and boy was I wrong. So I needed this. Thanks! ❤️
the "hang in there forever" and then it's actually not great is such a mood
Let me make a relevant statement: This video's been very helpful as I haven't realized how much Ash's story resonates with me. I'm also still in Narnia (like in the closet *fingerguns*) due to transphobia and not wanting to deal with all the problems that being trans causes; I'm also just "hanging in there", which as the video helped me realize, isn't enough.
So thank you both for creating this video
Two of my favourite youtubers in the same video??? Yes please!!
I relate so much to Ash's fears before he came out
I also asked people to use any pronoun when i first came out but they took that as an excuse to make no changes. They called me she she she all the time and it drove me nuts, so now i only go by they and my friends are more respecting of that
"He" makes me happy too but right now i only have a lot of bad feelings associated with "she"
And yes i identify as trans as well
You mean trains?
Two of my favorite people in one video 😭💖😭💖😭 I love you both ! Thanks so much for posting this,I needed this
My partner is agender and I'm nb/trans and I have word for word said to them that I feel so much gender before.
Rhys Rasco agender: I feel so litte gender
Yeah exactly :)
Rhys Rasco Tumblr in a nutshell
@Daniel Sniderman rip
OMG IM SO GLAD YOU TALKED ABOUT THIS! I think its awesome and inspirational that you finally came out. thank you for educating me on this topic!!! :)
"Non-binary people don't exist"
Wait is Chase talking to himself in this video? WHY DO I SEE ANOTHER PERSON?!
thank you so much for making this video
Great video. I think gatekeeping in the community is toxic for everyone including for people who otherwise identify as cis, because what it really does is put a wall up between people who are open to gender fluidity, and people who have never questioned the fixed gender roles that keep us all imprisoned in terms of whole human expression.
Thanks so much for this video. I am also a AFAB nonbinary & pronoun flexible (I'd rather be called she than he, but also would rather be called sir than ma'am, feel like more of a guy than a girl, but more female than male), but even though I know I'm technically trans (definitely don't agree w/the gender I was assigned at birth - don't even agree that I should have been assigned any gender at birth), I tend to not identify with the label because I don't wanna deal with the struggle of defending myself as trans (so I definitely get that, as far as the steps it took for Ash to come out as trans). Love you both! Thanks for everything that you do!
thank you so much for this video!!
i always understood transgender as an umbrella term and didn't only mean the binary... like, if you are non binary you are trans because you don't identify with your gender asigned at birth (which is what i understood as the definition for transgender).
lenguages are hard because concepts have different definitions for different peeps haha
love my non binary peeps :DDD love and support for all of you!
Thanks guys from over here in the UK 😎
10:19.
In the Philippines, we use "siya" as the singular he/she. We don't have gender specific he/she. we just use "siya". Some/most titles do have genders, but I do prefer and appreciate titles that are not gender specific.
"Sila" is they/them. Maybe others find it difficult to use they/them to refer to 1 person since they/them was taught to us as a plural-collective pronoun. English language needs to have a neutral singular pronoun and title, I do know of Mx, but that too sounds so new to the tongue.
I refer to trans people as "41%"
Surfing, Fuck off will you? You're not wanted here.
ᗩ乙Ꭵᖇᗩᖺᗩᙓᒪ I think the overwhelming majority of ppl is not welcomed here due to insane SJWs that seek attention
What? 41%? What's that even supposed to mean?
GeeCee it's some imagined statistic about trans suicide. Basically, they are a hateful troll. Look at a few threads. And you'll see they are advocating suicide for trans people.
Honestly, i think they are projecting. They wish they had the courage to come out as trans.
You know, like all the anti gay preachers that get caught with boys?
I try and advocate/educate people for the NBs where I can but I worry about talking over or taking up space, it's a tricky balance. Always out to support though
same i'm just. i was super suicidal and a danger to myself before i came to the realization i was nb. i didn't understand why i had dysphoria over not having a penis even though i never felt like a guy or why i never had a gender in my dreams (it was weird. i always had a penis but no specified gender in my dreams) and then i just realized one day that you don't have to id with either and i felt 10x better
Usually, gender dysporia "calms down" after your pubery and you feel at ease with your gender. Cutting body parts to make yourself believe that you can change genders, races or ages will lead you to suicide, hence the 41% suicide rate. Do a favor to yourself and stop watching this propaganda and you'll become truly happy man
Wow, so much energy in this video! Love love love your collabs :)
As far as I understand it transgender literally means that someone doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at birth and people generally aren't assigned any non-binary identities at birth. So I personally think that non-binary people can fall under the trans umbrella if they feel that want to use that term for themselves. However, if I am aware that a non-binary person doesn't refer to themselves as trans then I won't refer to them as trans, I'll call them by what they say to refer to them as.
In terms of pronouns, if I don't know someone's gender or what pronouns they use I'll try to use they. If I know that someone identifies as male or uses he pronouns I'll go for he unless they say differently, I'll also use she pronouns for those I know are female or use she unless they tell me differently.
That's part of why a lot of people, including me, came out as transgender binary before they came out as transgender non-binary
I'm nonbinary AND trans!! We exist. I'm transitioning to be neutral / neither.
There are non-binary folk who are not trans / do not want to identify as trans, that's fine!
There are non-binary trans folk, and that's fine!
Amazing video Chase!
No hate! But do you really need to "Transition" to be neither? Can't you just be who you feel you are? Again, no hate!
@@lunatic_isra827 firstly, "trans" in "transgender" isnt short for transition. Transgender means you identify as something other than your agab.
That being said, gender expression depends on the person. Dysphoria depends on the person. So some people dont tranisition physically at all, they don't feel the need to. Some people do because they want to BE genuinely themselves, it takes transition to do so. Some do so to relieve dysphoria.
Transitioning socially is changing the language and identification others see you as and use for you. Again, not everyone feels the need to do so, but many do. They want to be seen as who they truly are!
Becoming-Jeffery how does that work? Like how can you have trans nonbinary people and just plain nonbinary people? Is it because they don't do any actual transitioning? Because in defining terms as ash said she defines trans being anything but cis so technically all nonbinary folk are trans whether they identify with it or not.. Can you help me understand?
Drew Miller, I think it just depends how people define trans. Some people define it as only FtM and MtF, while others, like Ash, define it as not cis.
Thank you for this video. I didn’t really understand how someone could identity as trans and non-binary (because I viewed trans as a binary thing). Very happy to have learned something today :)
It’s interesting, I actually see so much gender when looking at them too, it’s something about her energy, it’s great :D And he’s right, once you start mixing those pronouns up for them it’s not all that confusing, it actually feels right for him somehow :o
I grew up a '00s cishet male kid so it took me awhile to understand the full LGBTQ+ spectrum. It took awhile to understand "trans" identity outside of harmful transphobic jokes and arguments. Then, I had to understand that gender was a social construct and there exist those outside the gender binary (NB, agender, bigender, etc.) Eventually, I got to the point where I felt like I had a mostly comprehensive understanding of the different gender identities and sexualities (and anything I didn't understand I could immediately learn with a quick Google search). But then, I saw people with "trans NB" (and similar variations) on their profiles and I had a hard time wrapping my head around the concept. But I knew they existed and their experiences were valid and I wanted to learn and understand the whole concept. So this is why I'm checking out videos like these. And I gotta say I really appreciate the work you both are doing in helping to educate those who want to learn like myself. Plus I know I'll be learning and educating myself so thanks for all your hard work. ❤️
"I faced down three deers today!"
I shoved 3 Buck offs on my ass today
Yay thanku for doing this i’m also trans and non binary and it’s nice for this to be mentioned on ur channel 🐍
transphobia towards nb people is called exorsexism or enbyphobia. And I can't believe Ash, the freaking GOD of lgbtq+ education, didn't know the term.
That sounds way too close to exorcism lol
But it's still also transphobia bc enbys are under that trans umbrella.
I'm a nonbinary person who is trans, but some nonbinary people don't identify as trans personally so idk if that's transphobic
It's called exorcism?
Yay!!!! I love these collaborations! You and Ash have amazing chemistry!
OH MY JESUS I never thought other people had the feeling/desire to continually use different pronouns to refer to me. I thought that was just a weird thing I felt. I’m so happy someone else has vocalized my feelings so precisely!!!
SurfingBeachesOceanRainyNesto95328 this....makes no sense
First Last aw, did someone miss their nap today?? Looks like little Grumpypants needs to stop trolling and go have a lie down, so they don’t get fussy anymore
Rachel Smith I absorb nutrients to survive
oh my god, ive been feeling this way lately and thought that i had to choose between the two but it didnt feel right AT ALL. thank you so much for this!!
Ash should let Chase talk
JUST KIDDIG JUST KIDDING
loce you two so much, you’re amazing :)
Wonderful video, it's such an amazing thing to see you two collab !
Love you both
Aaahh!!! I'm enby and bigender, and identify as trans, so this was an awesome vid!
Butters 'Buns I'm bigender too(Male And Agender) but I just consider myself as a trans guy(Ftm)
Morphy Arian Green I use Male pronouns most of the time, only using female pronouns rarely. I don't feel deserving of the term ftm because I don't want to get surgery or be on hormones due to health risk
Butters 'Buns some ftm trans people dont pursue medical transition due to health reasons as well c: you dont NEED to medically/physically transition to use the label "FTM"
Fluffeh Bijaczyk I guess I just feel like I'm dumbing down trans men when I say "I'm ftm and don't want/can't get surgery or hormones, since I don't experience the stigma associated with transitioning. For now I like the term trans masculine, but even then I feel shunned because i still use female pronouns rarely.
Butters 'Buns As a trans dude, I say use whatever terms and labels make you feel the most comfortable and the most valid! If the labels “ftm” and “trans masc” jive with you, own those labels. Honestly, you don’t _need_ my permission of course, but if this helps you- as is my hope- then great! However you wish to identify, regardless your personal journey, is _ok_ and 100% valid. Haters gonna hate, but the only person who knows you well enough to label how you feel, is you.
That said, there’s no rush, either- take your time if you need to. Transitioning isn’t just about the medical procedures or HRT. If all you need to feel comfortable and content is to socially transition, that is absolutely ok. It’s your body, your life. You make the shots!
Best of wishes 🙂
Ash, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm so inspired by you and thankful that you make the videos that you do :)
a good pure video. I'm right there with Ash, when he says she felt like they were just hanging in there irt transitioning / identifying as trans. I'm kind of the opposite, in which I've tried pushing away my nonbinary identity in favor of identifying as transmale, and vice versa in the past. now i'm happy IDing as a trans demiboy.
This is a great video I learned stuff and had fun
Ash's description of how they tried to suppress their identity is exactly what I did - for almost 15 years - prior to coming out as trans. For the longest time I just thought "I'm okay trying to just be a girl, plus I'm getting too old to transition and it's too expensive." My depression was spiraling out of control because of this thinking. Shortly before my 30th birthday, I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of pretending and denying and just being miserable. Since coming out and now being over a year into my medical transition, I've never been happier. I've stopped having suicidal thoughts and my depression is nowhere near where it used to be.
this video made me SO happy i connect so much with everything ash described and you both are so wonderful
when you talked about a certain word clicking with different people that is how i describe my sexuality (im technically pan but identify as bi) and i sometimes still think im crazy cus for not gelling with the word pan because it would be so much easier to just say 'pan' than having to explain what bi means to me so its really cool to hear someone else with the same viewpoint as me
ily ash and chase!!!!!!!!!!
If I fuck a lampost in the ass, does that make me Galactus?
I figured out I was a gender diverse/non binary person recently and it is hard... Its super scary coming out and trying to explain it to people when even I don't have all the vocabulary or knowledge to say what I'm feeling or what I'd liked to be called or what being non binary means... Especially going to an all girls school lol... And then there's all the self doubt and confusion... I love being authentically me but damn it sure ain't easy 😦 super cool to hear two awesome people chat about it so relatably - makes me feel a little less alone 😁😁😁
I'm non binary too, trying to figure out my gender. But I relate a 100% with Ash' story. I don't care if people don't believe we exist, we do and that's it. If people hate us for that, it's because their own identity depends of the man/woman binary . If they were comfortable with their own identity they wouldn't care.
I identify as Nebula SB282 & I totally understand you sister. Most straights do not accept us bcz they have these things called biology books and they want us to believe in them.Cis gendered people are the worst
You actually don't seem to know the difference between gender and sex, which is pretty basic. Your sarcasm is pathetic, keep your energy to read on the subject instead.
Josée Marchand Sarcasm!? Are you discriminating me for my gender? Genderist
Ash is so cute, he has such a lovely way of explaining things, they is so clever at painting pictures with words of feelings that are hard to define.
I love her exuberance when he feels like people get them.
I don't understand how people find it difficult to use they. I've always used it when I don't know the gender of someone even before I knew about non-binary people. I have always used it whenever someone mentions their doctor, their teacher, their professor etc. I mean like just now I'm talking about a hypothetical person and the hypothetical person could be any gender. But I didn't know Chase was non-binary I always thought his gender was male or at least that's what I thought he was communicating.
I am telling myself the same thing. I mean, is it so difficult to call me a shemale transistor for once? No! But these cis people keep saying to me that I need to study a biology book. Biology books are the wrok of the devil(man)(best animu)
Oh man, PRONOUN INDIFFERENT! I'm so glad you guys have like these educational moments along with the storytelling. Like, I want this to be edited like something you would see on PBS in the 90's (or maybe just since the 80's.) I mean that in the awesomest way possible.
Love you people, great to see you two talk together! As a nonbinary squiggle tran with pronoun indifference, but THERE'S COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT IT, as well as a watcher of both of you, I can relate to so much. To putting things off, but still leaving breadcrumbs, and then I see other people doing the same thing, I'm with Chase in... I KNEW it!
Anyways, this video is really validating and it makes me feel comfy to know that there are other people out there who are comfy in their identity. This part especially struck me:
A-"I was hanging in there, I was doing okay, but-
C-"...You're not you."
A- ""RIGHT. Uh-huh... :/ And I thought ''Well, if I'm hanging in there now, I could just hang in there forever.' Isn't it sad? I KNOW.
But then, one day, I wanted to do more than just hang in there...?"
Thanks for getting me one day closer to doing more than just hanging in there.
I love and enjoy the sound effects in this video. :D
I absolutely love the way that Ash explains things. Every time he explains something, it just makes so much sense.
You don't like logic, don't you...
I'm glad you made this! I am trans and nonbinary too!
"Ash has a gender !! .... just don't know what it is !!?!" - Ash is just so goddamn precious, bless them
Thank you so much for this video! I watched this and after almost every sentence I was like THAT'S ME! Especially the part with feeling comfortable with every pronoun and not coming out because you don't want to deal with the bs
"I feel so much gender" ~Ash Hardell
There is my senior quote, 4 years when I graduate that will be written.
Make the 41% Great Again
First Last ya
Omg I have never met someone who also wants to use interchangeable pronouns! I want all of them! The switching validates me, dang it! Thank you for this video!
what is the definition of non binary? From my understanding there isnt just one definition.
To my understanding, nonbinary is like an umbrella term with other things like genderqueer or genderfluid or agender falling under it. There are trans binary people who identity as he/she and nonbinary people are just like the various grey areas.
so its people who dont conform to gender norms/roles essentially.
Mysterion no that's gender non conforming. Gender identity is something else than gender roles.
So if nonbinary is identifying as a gender that falls outside the binary what is that gender? I have only ever known that there exists men and women so thats two genders.
Mysterion then maybe its time to learn new something new. Like you did all those years as a toddler with things you had no issues with.
I love that you collab and have more collabs planned!!!
8:23. WHAT IF YOU'RE PAN-GENDER? :O
Maybe pan gender is a thing, maybe pan gender exists. That is some amazing discovery.
It's a thing, I've read about it before ^^
It's a thing and there are people who identify with it! It's an interesting label because it comes with a lot of nuance.
Because "pan" implies all, some people use pangender to mean they feel like every gender. However, since some gender identities are culture-specific (such as two-spirit) which would be inappropriate to identify with if you weren't part of that culture, some people use pangender to mean they identify with all the genders they have access to (for lack of better phrasing).
So yeah, it's a really interesting label, and I'd like to meet someone someday who identifies with it! c:
Lillian MSP polygender works better 👌
This is a first time for me. Even though I don't identify with it, I am learning. :D
GeeCee
Pangender definitely exists, I know multiple pangender peeps
when you were talking about interchangeable pronouns it reminded me of when i was first coming out and identifying as non binary when one of my close friends would somehow use every pronoun they could think of in the same sentence talking about me 😂 every single time it happened i would laugh so hard but i really do thank them for just getting it so quick, it helped me later figure out that i’m trans ftm
Hey hey i'm non-binary and trans lol
I love Ash’s bi, pan, multisexual comment. I use bisexual to refer to my sexuality and define it (often explicitly to other people) as attraction to the same and other genders. I know that realistically I “should” use pan as gender is not a factor in attraction, for me, but it isn’t comfy for me so I use my preferred descriptor and explain the rest.
As for non-binary folk and wishing all pronouns could be used interchangeably, that’s exactly home one of my partners feels about their pronouns and honestly, I feel like a bad partner for primarily using they/them to refer to her but I know it’s better than consistently using him (my partner is amab) so I settle for being an okay partner.
I think a lot of the enbyphobia stems from the fact that nonbinary gender hasn't been a distinct thing for very long. Of course nonbinary people always existed, but in the past they might have called themselves queer or crossdressers or transvestites or whatever because the proper language wasn't invented yet. Eventually the cringe compilations will fade out as the people making them realize they've been asshats all along.
Mattilda Also, intersex people exist! What if they like being exactly who they are! Are they supposed to be binary because otherwise their gender & sexual makeup are invalid?! This is insane to me. Binarism/enbyphobia is ultimately anti-human.
actually, non binary people have existed in many african, asian, and native north american cultures!! sadly, most people write it off as being “weird” :/
I know. Back in the days of ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia Rome... nonbinary was the ideal, a godlike state of being. Too bad those civilisations collapsed.
Thanks for explaining this!!!!!! Now I would really love to hear a conversation with a non-binary person who identifies as a "non-binary girl" or a "non-binary boy". As a transperson who has always thought the binary genders were "girl" and "boy" and whose identity lies within that binary, I still struggle to understand where these people are coming from with these labels.
Thanks u two. Keep doing what u do
My god this is so narcissistic
*Raises hand* Non-binary trans human reporting! Educating all who care to listen on the daily. Love all that encompasses this video!
the last time i was this early, i was so far in the closet i had almost seen Narnia
I identify as my onw closet either way so I'm safe from my non binaryphobic agendephobic hydropumpphobic parents. I can't even come out of my own self
I'm a dinosaur now because I don't like being segregated as a human. I don't like labels and feel as though I identify more as a dinosaur.
Non-binary literally makes no sense when you actual think about it. The binary is male and female, you can't identify as something that doesn't exist. If you're trans and non-binary then you're still either a male or a female, you just like to wear more masculine clothes or more feminine clothes when you like. If you take away material things you're still either a man or a woman, which is why this makes no sense at all.
When it comes to 'hate' it seems like you just ignore anything you don't want to hear which is why this world has such a massive issue moving forward. Not opening up discussion and just ignoring or removing things that you disagree with, won't move things forward. Why do you think there are cringe comps about sjw's and non-binary people and fat acceptance and femenists? It's because the majority of those people won't actually have a civil conversation about it, they just want everyone to accept them and that be that. Why not just take the time to actually listen to what people are saying, then discuss it.
Reegan Hollywood 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So effing opinionated and small
I came out to my priest today and he straight away used they/ them for me without me explicitly asking which was awesome
Omg yes I hate that. Like they literally found the video just to spread hate in the comments lol gtfoutta here
Haters have no life
omg this video made me so happy i could not stop smiling through this whole video you two are gems. 💕
when you never got out of your emo phase at 13
Can totally use alternating pronouns for you Ash! That's not hard! Your genders are all valid! Sounds freaking cool as well! Side note I find it fun the idea of bouncing different pronouns around if you're happy with it. :) Things like "He wore her cap" where it's clear from the greater context that there's only one person being referred to (or are you plural? Please clarify if I'm wrong) so people in conversation then ask or it makes me clarify to people - great way to raise awareness re NB people as well!
But most importantly because it's what you want and everyone's gender identity should be respected!
I would appreciate if you made your videos based on logic and not feelings. It's literally you getting butthurt. You can't prove your point that way, you have to give evidence, be open to people's thoughts on this subject, and not be so quick to get "triggered".
but... gender is a social construct so how can it be logical? or illogical? how can you provide evidence on a purely internal phenomena?
mahoulo612 What you are stating is classified as a theory. It's not fact.
...do you understand how science works? you cant make a statement that anything is an objective fact, everything is just a theory.
how could anyone "prove" their gender? it's impossible, you can only take what people tell you as true, or they are ALL wrong. why are you only questioning the legitimacy of some peoples genders and not everyones?
I do understand how science works and nonbinary is a relatively new idea, so there isn't much to go by. I do not believe everything that is said to me, like what you said, because I have my own right to my own opinion. That doesn't mean you have to try to prove anything to me, because it's not going to change my mind, unless you found something that is actually useful in this conversation that I can actually agree with. That is the problem with some people in this community, you think that you are all on the same page, but you aren't. People have different views and that is okay. You don't have to attack everyone else with different views on different subjects. I'm tired of the toxicity of this feminism-sjw bullcrap.
i'm merely pointing out the lack of logic in your statements. the concept of being nonbinary is not a new thing either, so again you are showing your lack of knowledge in the topic (which is not necessarily bad, however you've clearly made your mind up about it without doing any research on your own.) many cultures from all over the world throughout history have recognised non male and non female gender, genderfluidity and such. not only, but in the past decade alone there has been a cascade of research into nonbinary people.
you still aren't responding to my arguments? it seems you aren't actually interested in learning more, though i hope thats not the case.
you're assumptions that non binary identities are not as 'real' as other genders is not based in any consistent logic. i ask again, why do you only question the legitimacy of non binary genders and not everyones genders? since no gender can be "proven" through science.
"I don't like labels but I'm going to get angry when people do use my pronouns".