Trans Woman Sees Herself in VR for The First Time
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- I've wanted to be, feel like, and see myself as a girl throughout my entire life. Therefore I've been incredibly scared of how it might make me feel if I put on a VR-headset that can make that possible. But today we're doing it! Jumping on VR-chat, getting first impressions and finally confronting my potential new source of gender euphoria.
My Twitter Dump! ► / scribblyhoots
Outro music provided by the lovely talented Nihilore! www.nihilore.com/
This was one of the MOST INTIMIDATING videos I've made and I certainly felt I pushed my comfort zone quite a bit. But I hope you'd like to join me for this and future videos in VR!
perks of jumping new to vr, honestly its scary at first but when you get used to it its a chill place, btw great video scribbs
(6:42 I wasn't expecting V1 to make an appearance here, but ok 🙃)
I love vr and would totally be intrested in playing anything! Love meeting new people, shooters and story games are my favourite
I've never tried vr but it looks good
the avatar you looked at for like 20 mins, kinda looks like irl me, I just need bangs lol. I am trans too and this was super cute to watch! I subbed
I hope you found a good place and friends and keep playing vrchat. I fell into it myself during covid nad it became my way of socializing. I fell into the furry side of things and that's a great community. One thing I saw about vrchat the most was that a lot of people had a trans-awakening as this silly stare at mirrors game let people explore who they are really and it helped them a ton.
I'm going to have to explore more of your contentto see where this first step took you.
i played vrchat for years watching guys just casually being anime girl while being so afraid of trying it myself. what if people thought i am weird? what if people gets disappointed in my voice? what if people think i’m a pervert? And when i finally denied to embrace myself in an female avatar, the euphoria of looking in the mirror and seeing someone I don’t hate just changed my life. I came out shortly after and stared hrt. VRchat trully is an amazing place for trans people with beautiful community like the trans academy
VRChat made me accept I'm trans too, didn't come out or start HRT yet. I kinda knew for years but just repressed it.
aaaaaa crap that bit when you got caught off guard i've never felt so much second hand anxiety before
Nice, vr is a big dysphoria helper for me too!
I've already gotten to meet a bunch of lovely queer people on here. It's so nice to see people being able to fully embrace who they are, especially for those who can't do that safely in real life
@@ScribblyHootsyou are not embracing who you are since you arent a woman
Same here it’s seriously amazing being able to be whatever you want to be
If you want to, you can try and find an electronics rental service in your region that carries VR headsets! That's how I finally got myself a Quest 2 after being interested in VR since the Oculus Kickstarter days, but never having been able to muster the money to actually get a headset
't's been 1.5 years since and I havn't looked back for a second.
if only vr wasn’t hundreds of dollars 😔
edit: 4:10 omg i felt that panic, that’s like my worst fear xD
I knoww. I'm lucky I was allowed to borrow one, because VR honestly is still a "for people who got money" kind of thing. Especially when it comes to tracking and all the other expensive stuff people add on.
Also YES! I've NEVER gotten the panic sweats that badly!!
that first encounter was absolutely SPOOKY and he's just a regular guy
Yeah he was totally nice!! He was just trying to be helpful but it came as such a shock to me that I had to take a breather ::P
4:03 I have never mentally connected with anyone like this before jesus
VRChat is one of the best places to just connect with people when you’re at the right place, so I’m glad being able to see you try this out.
Wow this last bit made me loose a tear of happiness ☺ Great video! ♥
love how you linked with blake belladona suddently, she is a very you character! (she's from rwby!)
heck i just got to the part where you say you know her xD it was a very cute moment
When that guy showed up behind you when you were talking to yourself I felt the fear and immediately closed the video lol, then I came back and watched that part with my volume off, situations like those are my actual worst fear ever, if I were to play vrchat I'd either have to do it muted, or with friends who know my cringy voice, or just check things out completely alone, I physically can't do anything social lol.
This was a wonderful video to watch, as someone who's in the early stages of MtF transition myself (still working up the courage to try on clothes and start fully presenting as a woman). If I had some extra cash or VR became more accessible, I would be all over this.
I'm really glad this was such an amazing experience for you :D
Amazing progress on your voice!!
Crying now after watching 😭❤
Haven't watched your videos in a while, I'm super duper overwhelmed with the amount of uploads >.
Oh that's totally fine! You don't have to watch it all haha ^^ Also thank you
@@ScribblyHoots I do feel obliged to watch all the videos, I've been watching the channel for years, and you are one of the few people who really helped me when I was at my worst!
@@ScribblyHoots I don't know if I've developed... a parasocial relationship with the channel? It just feels like home
@@IslaTheCutie I'm honestly honored you feel that way :.3 Thank you for supporting me and for watching all this time. I hope I can continue to provide the sort of "digital safespace" that the channel has managed to give you so far
ive been playing for vrchat for 2years now, still to scared to talk to anyone so most of the time i end up sitting in the corner of the world by myself lol
That's us at 7 mins !! If you ever get the chance to see us again, come say hi !!
my friend is selling me his vr just so I can find an outlet in vr chat while I'm getting help. I'm a Trans woman too, which I'm over 30 we'll say. I enjoy buying a bunch of outfits then playing dress up for hours in front of my mirrors. But to see myself in vr and getting to communicate with others like me sounds so amazing! I mostly walk around as a mute (desktop version no chat) in Trans Academy. I'm glad people will see me alone and have invited me into their little chats. Thank you to anyone who does that, even though I have to type everything, it really means a lot to be included as I'm pretty shy.
loved the vid and subbed, now ya know why VRChat has been known as a bit of a "Egg Cracking Machine" idk how in depth you end up going but going to check out more videos and enjoy the ride! Personally for me VRChat helps so much that nowadays i cant hop in unless im using 11pt tracking lol. idk if thats a good or bad thing xD
I would be doing that exact same thing in vr chat 😅 ,and I'm very happy you found an avatar that fits you!
The anime avatars look so cool. And I would play VR chat but I get to much anxiety when it comes to people I don't know
you can always play with friends in private worlds :)
I totally get it. I'm like that in a lot of ways as well but for me it was honestly surprisingly easy to get talkative once I met the right people. Best way I can describe it is: "not as intimidating" ^^'
OH MY GOD I JUST WATCHED YOUR COMING OUT VIDEO AND THEN THIS VIDEO YOU ARE SO PRETTY I WAS FLABBERGHASTED BY HOW WELL YOUR TRANSITION IS GOING YOUR VOICE SOUNDS SO GOOD YOU ARE SO PRETTY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Your videos hit a very specific spot. They are incredibly relatable and wholesome! After watching these, I feel relaxed as if I just vented to someone.
I just wanted to point this out because I know it might be hard to imagine your videos improving lives, but they do!
we are all proud of you!
can definately relate to the hands thing, i started growing my nails out an it made my fingers look a bit mor slender bu eh, cant change it so shouldnt worry about it
The anime avatar you picked reminds me of Blake from RWBY
It is blake! (i think ^^)
the black haired avatar you liked is blake from rwby! there's an avatar world with her regular model as well as a few other characters
I did not finish watching that section before commenting this oops, but still, that avatar world is available!
I honestly really wish I had a VR headset, or even a PC that is capable of playing a game, must be a really amazing feeling I bet
i know i'm late to the video, and i'm sure people have said this before: but i can really recommend checking out the vrchat trans academy :)
sidenote: as a trans guy who's been a vr addict for years now and has had a similar experience with it, this is really relatable and heartwarming :D
This looks amazing, i played vr chat before but it was on desktop mode so it must be harder to interact when playing in vr
That person you met in the beginning was pretty chill though, good to see that you ran into nice people
Thing about social interacting is that, you shouldn't worry about what others will think tbh
Just go do whatever you want to do
Some people end up forgetting people they met, even i dont remember all of the people i spoke to on vr chat
Thank you for sharing this moment, it made me very happy
relatable. I'm not into VR chat to chat with others, but I had a similar reaction my first time.
i can relate so much with having social anxiety in public spaces, you're not alone ❤
6:42 Hey look its V1 ULTRAKILL (Seriously you should play ULTRAKILL, its another one of those games commonly associated with Trans people, Especially Trans fems)
I have heard ultrakill is queer-coded! But looking at it I have not the faintest clue why ;D
@@ScribblyHoots It all started with this one twitter meme about how doom players are chads and Ultrakill players are femboys, the official Ultrakill account replied yes to this, and it all just butterflied from there. Also theres a layer in the game that literally has bisexual lighting
recently got a quest 3 and i realized 2 things about my trans self
i love nails so much
i like the more mature woman avatars
I've been curious for a while how this might be therapeutic to trans people. This is a great thing for people to experience. Thanks for making this video.
When I first played VRChat I was still in denial / "didnt know", repressing worked for like 5 years before... Well, dysphoria hit hard and know I now for sure I'm very trans xD
I'm honestly glad to know before I'm too old cause now I can do something about it... HRT soon!
hello scribblyhoots i luv ur content and ive been subbed since ur project Arethea luv the work and i would luv to make content with u one day
11:10 my heart is telling me to go to sleep and cry
this is too wholesome
Working up the courage to do this myself, ty for sharing the experience❤
I highly recommend this if you're able to. Also, if you happen to be trans, then try to visit the trans academy world! It can be incredibly freeing to talk to other trans folks, in a way you just don't often get to in real life
@ScribblyHoots I am trans and I have been to the academy:D ty very much, a good recommendation
Vrchat is great for dysphoria, you can be a anime fox girl :3 but then I get gender envy….
I've two transgender friends (m2f). One just got a Quest 2, and she loves it.... especially VRchat 🥰
Spark is dead, but worth it for the reverse kinematics on the female avitars, they feminized every part of the body's movement not directly tracked. One of my most profound experiences😊
i've been seeing vr content on youtube for a long time now and i have wanted to try it out for a while. but the hardware is so expensive TT_TT
Yep! VR is definitely still a "for people who got money" type of hobby and it's really sad because it's really cool.
I play vrchat without vr
This is the start of the scribbs emo Arc
It's Blake from RWBY :0
I haven't played it myself yet. If I ever do, I'd have to play in desktop mode(yes it can be played without a headset) because i'm poor, and can't afford a headset. Apparently it has xbox controller compatibility from what i've read. Personally, I kinda like simple avatars. Some are just entirely too complex, and resource intensive.
Here are some things I've picked up from watching that new users might find helpful to know: VRChat as a community is pretty united in several things: Since the cheapest VR headset is the Quest, it's the headset used by most kids.. therefore they generally won't trust a questie(quest user). So yes, people will largely ignore you for that reason. So yes, unfortunately there's some level of elitism in that regard. Another thing they dislike are all the crashers...who, incidentally are also mostly kids. These are both mostly a problem in public, quest compatible worlds, because unattended kids will be kids. You can of course combat this by hiding all avatars by default(which is a common recommendation). Generally, from what I've seen, it's also recommended to avoid these quest compatible popular worlds, like the blackcat entirely, because there's just a lot of kids that'll just throw out a slur to be edgy in them(this all ties back into the questie hate). VRchat has a user ranking system, that the ability to upload your own created avatar or custom world is locked behind. It's mostly a time played thing. Honestly though there are so many avatars that are far better than what most people will be able to make on their own, that you can clone anyway. Make sure that you ask first before just jacking someone's avi(some people make their own avatars and forget to turn off sharing and some people will just steal their hard work). Consent and all that. Being that VRC is a social game, same rules as life apply: be an obnoxious tool and you will be blocked and booted from whatever world you're in. Be chill and friendly, and you'll make friends(outcome not guaranteed).
Oh, before I forget another thing to keep in mind you will run into voice trollers. So, a girl you're talking to, could actually be a cis dude, either using a voice changer, or may actually have put in the effort to do a little voice(often very barebones) training themselves, be it purely for trolling(most of them), or some hope to get into voice acting(or already are VAs). A decent number of these people also have YT, twitch, or even tiktok channels(or all the above). Some are bigger than others, some are far better than others(because they actually dedicate time to get good at it). Some are just so bad that it's really obvious(if you know what to listen for). Others are very convincing. Some of them can even sing in their girl voice. They're not a problem(at least not usually to my knowledge), just be aware that they're in the game, and your reaction could end up becoming content.
What a nice video! I'm glad you enjoy VR. I actually cried, this just made me very happy. It's wild how this helps so many queer folks. ^^
Also, that moment where you just had to close the game, I swear that would have been me if I ever tried vrchat x3.
I just came from your "Coming out as transgender is hard" video and you're so freakin pretty
Aww thank you so much! I'm so sorry, my notifications failed to show me that you commented for a while ^^ But thank you, as you can see then it's been a good while and a lot has happened haha
Me too seems like the kind of stuff I like from these two vids
When you got to see yourself as an avatar that you could connect to because she looks like you,... you brought me to tears. Just hearing you talk about looking at your hands in VR,....as a Trans woman that has been on HRT for 4 years,...I can relate strongly.
I only started playing in VR a week or so ago, and have started exploring VR. I Loved seeing your experience of Trans Academy. Maybe we might run into one another sometime :-).
I am bingeing all your VR content, because TISM brain,.... but I am so glad to see what an effect VR is having on you. AS someone that also has social anxiety,... first it was discord that helped me, but VR has been an awesome tool for me to get more relaxed in social situations.
Stay amazing, hun.
honestly i had doubts whether i was nonbinary or not but i saw myslef in an androgynous avatar in vrchat and i knew i was nb no doubts from then on.
interaction jumpscare lmao
11:00 looks to be based off of Blake from RWBY
yeah vr takes a while getting used to
Thanks for the video ♥️ I may try vrchat when if I have the opportunity
If you're able to or can borrow a headset, then I highly recommend it. It's very different and just describing it rarely does it justice.
Thank you for talking about your hands is something small but it made me cry so thank you thank you so much for doing this you are amazing❤❤❤❤❤ 13:17
Haven't watched in a while, not since you were a a whole different gender. I don't mind the change really though. It's good to show who you really are :).
Well thank you for checking back in on me!
Yeah, it's a big change and a lot has happened life wise ^^ But for the first time I'm hopeful that I can enjoy being myself, something I never had the chance to before I changed
What's the name of that avatar search world?
you seem so sweet hearted
aww youre too kind! ^^
Eyes so pretty 🥺
There's a world for transgender BTW
It's called trans academy (I think).
Do you know about the Trans Academy world???
Yes I do! I've actually done quite a few videos of me messing around on that world and it's one of my absolute favorite places in VR :3
Yeah vrchat can help a lot but issue is that it’s not real
That is true. But it presents a nice opportunity for people who are uncomfortable with their body to meet others in a way that feels the most "themselves". Even if you end up meeting your VR friends in real life later, then they will still have had a good opportunity to know you as you see yourself first.
4:04 I instantly connected to that panic attack xD.
I wish I had the money. On top of everything, I'm not quite there. :c
Go reality 2.0!
poggers moment!
Sorry if this sounds weird or mean but, you beuatiful
4:05-4:09 Lol
pretty girl
Bahhhh i gotta try this!!!
I this I have gender dysphoria TnT
CUTEE
You'll never be a man, you deserve to feel like yourself
Made this cuz of a tweet I saw telling a trans woman she can't be a man then switched it up when she realised she was mtf not ftm lol
🥰🥰❤️what is your usersname in vrchat
Nora…
jesus you gave me a heart attack
Virtuel virkelighed
Imagine getting to chose any name you wanted and chosing to call yourself norah💀
It's a garbo name BUT IT IS MINE!
@@ScribblyHootsi love you'r content! And i are you gona be makeing more vrchat videos or are you gona makeing more video about video games that you find
Anyways i Wish you good luck and be safe out there:D
(PS:im italian so that's why my english Is kinda bad)
@@ScribblyHoots aww I thought that is a very cute name tho :>
@@ScribblyHoots it's a pretty name imo
@@Moai-glove-chad I will definitely be making more! As I already sort of have one recorded I'm going to release soon ^^ so stay tuned!
why? just WHY?!
@matthewedwards7454 for the title and video what you get after destroying yourself
@@aliarsal2099still don’t make sense