Having "the courage to be imperfect" is a message that myself and a lot of others NEED to hear! We often hold ourselves up to such high standards, and are so tough on ourselves when we can't "do it all." Everyone struggles, no one is perfect, and we need to cut ourselves (and others) a break. It's like that incredible saying of yours: "I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, and that's just perfect!". This is such a great message in this video! Thank you, Julia!
Julia, This is so me. It comes from being told all my life that I am a bad person and that I'll never amount to anything. Imagine how that has affected me all the way into adulthood.
I haven't heard of Adler before..very interesting! "learn to have the courage to be imperfect"...wow. That's powerful. Julia, your videos are so powerful. Thank you.
This is so helpful! I struggle with feeling imperfect, negative thoughts, would have/could have…... Rarely an encounter goes by that I do not put myself down. Thank you immensely for your guidance. I am in therapy and continue with you for clarity and insight.
Thank you, Julia! Your videos are all so helpful. Just love to listen to every morning to get my day started. And yes, I’m imperfect but I’m not criticizing-
Clearly I need to learn better coping skills for dealing And more importantly,feel my emotions. That quote Karen's said on will and grace always stuck with me, "Feeling something GOT TO GO"
Hey Julia I hv observed about me that when someone give indirect comments about me I get really triggered .and also I loose My mindfulness when I am Hungry and sleepy. So if someone comes and speaks anything I am not aware that when I started speaking loudly to them
What acknowledge observe and do nothing with feelings? Its hurtful and bad feeling. Being in that feeling is NOT enjoyable at all. Humans want to come out of it quickly and dont like to sit in it.
Hi Julia, I get caught up in the "feeling yucky" circle of thoughts frequently....It is rough to deal with at times, and I say how I feel to loved ones for validation. I know it is a total "kill joy", however it is nice to hear positive feedback from others. However, this doesn't always work, when responses from loved ones say, "snap out of it!", or "stop saying that!" and so on, that makes it worse. Julia, is this a common pattern, seeking validation from others? Is seeking words of affirmation from others a "load of hooey" and a bad idea? Growing up, I have always felt unaccepted, or a burden by my parents (long story, history of divorces, attending several different schools), no stability. My younger sister struggles with it as well, it isn't just me. Any recommendations how to over come?...Or is it a matter of coming to terms and deciding "enough" ?
Hey Julia, a bit off topic but I live in the same area as you and a really need help. I've looked up your pricing and there is no way I can afford one session let alone multiple ones. Is there anything I can do to help myself on a broke budget or am I screwed?
Hey Fawnko, you are so not screwed! Do you mind me asking what the major issue is that you're struggling with? I may be able to recommend some good books. Also, Family Services of Greater Vancouver offers low cost counselling. Here's the site with the number to call www.fsgv.ca/find-the-support-you-need/counselling/
I don't say that to self diagnose, I use to see a guy but that was when I was living with my parents and they paid for it. I never realized what it actually cost them :(
Hey Julia this was great but what abt when u think it's OK to be in perfect but others make u feel like u shud be perfect n that u r inadequate n u r good at nothing. I have had this for long time n still get it now. I can't get away from it n I don't know how to deal with it n it's even harder because I've had to deal with severe depression.
I've been trying to employ meditation and mindfulness to deal with my depression, but it's a difficult thing to stop the cascade of negativity and self-criticism that leaves me feeling completely defeated. I've also tried affirmations but I just feel so inauthentic telling myself positive things. Should I just keep at it and hope it all clicks for me one day?
Ric, it's not you. Mindfulness is not a treatment for depression in and of itself - it's a supplement to other clinical treatments like CBT or ACT, or Psychodynamic therapy etc... And in all honesty, positive affirmations are a bit of a load of hooey because of the fact that our brain cannot connect with something we don't actually believe. Affirmations only work if we are affirming something we already know and believe about ourselves. Other than that, they are pretty useless. I'll do a RUclips video on this one soon. So it's not you. You are not the problem. The depression is the problem, and the "treatment methods" you've tried are the problem. There's a good book that's been around for awhile called Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. This is a really good one for starting to get ahold of our negative thoughts and self talk. Let me know how you like it and if it connects with you! I also just closed registration on my Overcome Anxiety course which is all about managing our negative thoughts and self talk and learning the research supported way to turn them around. I will be opening up registration again in the fall, so stay tuned for that if it's something that interests you. Here's the link to the waitlist: juliakristina.com/tt/overcome-anxiety-course/
I used that "feeling good" book with my therapist - it's so weird to think about the stuff in the book it definitely changed the way I was thinking about stuff and helped a lot! It made me look at how I was thinking about stuff and I made charts about episode that upset me and other ways to think about it. I couldn't really believe that it slowly worked ...
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Having "the courage to be imperfect" is a message that myself and a lot of others NEED to hear! We often hold ourselves up to such high standards, and are so tough on ourselves when we can't "do it all." Everyone struggles, no one is perfect, and we need to cut ourselves (and others) a break. It's like that incredible saying of yours: "I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, and that's just perfect!". This is such a great message in this video! Thank you, Julia!
God bless for you sharing your wisdom! Thank you for all you do!
I'm in the middle of fighting anxiety and anxiety induced insomnia right now. Thank you so much for making these videos. They help me.
I am so grateful to hear it - thank you for taking the time to let me know. I wish you all the best in your recovery!
Julia, This is so me. It comes from being told all my life that I am a bad person and that I'll never amount to anything. Imagine how that has affected me all the way into adulthood.
I haven't heard of Adler before..very interesting! "learn to have the courage to be imperfect"...wow. That's powerful. Julia, your videos are so powerful. Thank you.
CoralJoy - I'm so glad it connected with you. And oh man, I am working on my courage in that area everyday.
This is so helpful! I struggle with feeling imperfect, negative thoughts, would have/could have…... Rarely an encounter goes by that I do not put myself down. Thank you immensely for your guidance. I am in therapy and continue with you for clarity and insight.
Thank You 😊 for everything you are and everything you do for us ❤️ Julia.
I always get this experience that when I do let people know what really going on and they do run for the hills
i just met your channel and i love it so much
Thanks Julia. As usual it's a pleasure watching your video
THANK YOU!!!
im there right now god bless you
Thank you!!!❤
Thank you, Julia! Your videos are all so helpful. Just love to listen to every morning to get my day started. And yes, I’m imperfect but I’m not criticizing-
I love all your videos 😍
This video is way too relatable
Thank you. You helped me a lot. This is exactly what I struggle with.
I bought your book Julia!
great advice! thank u
You are helping me today
Clearly I need to learn better coping skills for dealing And more importantly,feel my emotions. That quote Karen's said on will and grace always stuck with me, "Feeling something GOT TO GO"
have the courage to be imperfect... that was an aha moment for me!
Yes! It's not always easy - that's for sure, but it really is that simple. I hope you are well!
This is amazing. So true. 🖤
Great advice, thank you.
Thanks for saying so, glad it connected with you!
Hi Julia, Jim says thanks Martine says merci!! 🌞😃
You are welcome Jim, and le plaisir est pour moi Martine!
I'm really enjoying your videos, they are so helpful! thanks so much :)
Maggie, I am so grateful to hear that! Thanks for taking the time to say so.
4:40 for the answers you seek
Wow, awesomeness, do you have any books out/website? ???
I want to be HEALED and HOPE I get some HELP to go forward, and be ONE of 75% WHOs get HEALED and get a GOOD and HEALTHY life with my LOVED one..💜🤗💜
Love it, Julia. 😉
SO so glad Ewen!
I don't know how to Facebook or Internet but your videos are saving lives🌻🌴🐊🌴🌻🕉
Hey Julia I hv observed about me that when someone give indirect comments about me I get really triggered .and also I loose My mindfulness when I am Hungry and sleepy. So if someone comes and speaks anything I am not aware that when I started speaking loudly to them
What acknowledge observe and do nothing with feelings? Its hurtful and bad feeling. Being in that feeling is NOT enjoyable at all. Humans want to come out of it quickly and dont like to sit in it.
Hi Julia, I get caught up in the "feeling yucky" circle of thoughts frequently....It is rough to deal with at times, and I say how I feel to loved ones for validation. I know it is a total "kill joy", however it is nice to hear positive feedback from others. However, this doesn't always work, when responses from loved ones say, "snap out of it!", or "stop saying that!" and so on, that makes it worse.
Julia, is this a common pattern, seeking validation from others? Is seeking words of affirmation from others a "load of hooey" and a bad idea?
Growing up, I have always felt unaccepted, or a burden by my parents (long story, history of divorces, attending several different schools), no stability. My younger sister struggles with it as well, it isn't just me.
Any recommendations how to over come?...Or is it a matter of coming to terms and deciding "enough" ?
This video was awesome! I appreciate it greatly. ;-D
So glad it connected with you! Thanks for taking the time to say so.
Hey Julia, a bit off topic but I live in the same area as you and a really need help. I've looked up your pricing and there is no way I can afford one session let alone multiple ones. Is there anything I can do to help myself on a broke budget or am I screwed?
Hey Fawnko, you are so not screwed! Do you mind me asking what the major issue is that you're struggling with? I may be able to recommend some good books. Also, Family Services of Greater Vancouver offers low cost counselling. Here's the site with the number to call www.fsgv.ca/find-the-support-you-need/counselling/
I'm struggling with depression, anxiety and self harm. Everything has just become so hard for me, I don't even want to get up in the mornings anymore.
I don't say that to self diagnose, I use to see a guy but that was when I was living with my parents and they paid for it. I never realized what it actually cost them :(
@@Fawnko have you tried her online courses I get a lot of help just from the videos I have a tendency to isolate
Hey Julia this was great but what abt when u think it's OK to be in perfect but others make u feel like u shud be perfect n that u r inadequate n u r good at nothing.
I have had this for long time n still get it now. I can't get away from it n I don't know how to deal with it n it's even harder because I've had to deal with severe depression.
I've been trying to employ meditation and mindfulness to deal with my depression, but it's a difficult thing to stop the cascade of negativity and self-criticism that leaves me feeling completely defeated. I've also tried affirmations but I just feel so inauthentic telling myself positive things. Should I just keep at it and hope it all clicks for me one day?
Ric, it's not you. Mindfulness is not a treatment for depression in and of itself - it's a supplement to other clinical treatments like CBT or ACT, or Psychodynamic therapy etc... And in all honesty, positive affirmations are a bit of a load of hooey because of the fact that our brain cannot connect with something we don't actually believe. Affirmations only work if we are affirming something we already know and believe about ourselves. Other than that, they are pretty useless. I'll do a RUclips video on this one soon. So it's not you. You are not the problem. The depression is the problem, and the "treatment methods" you've tried are the problem. There's a good book that's been around for awhile called Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. This is a really good one for starting to get ahold of our negative thoughts and self talk. Let me know how you like it and if it connects with you!
I also just closed registration on my Overcome Anxiety course which is all about managing our negative thoughts and self talk and learning the research supported way to turn them around. I will be opening up registration again in the fall, so stay tuned for that if it's something that interests you. Here's the link to the waitlist: juliakristina.com/tt/overcome-anxiety-course/
I used that "feeling good" book with my therapist - it's so weird to think about the stuff in the book it definitely changed the way I was thinking about stuff and helped a lot! It made me look at how I was thinking about stuff and I made charts about episode that upset me and other ways to think about it. I couldn't really believe that it slowly worked ...
I love it Wascally Wabbit! And it's not magic, it's psychology ;-)
This is good but how about when you work in customer service and people expect perfection?
Take into consideration some society disparity.