Why are we here? Why are we born? | Ajahn Brahm | 09-01-2015

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  • Опубликовано: 9 янв 2015
  • This talk by Ajahn Brahm gets to the heart of the existential quest: What are we here? What were we born for?

Комментарии • 263

  • @tia2all501
    @tia2all501 2 года назад +19

    I listen every night before bed for the last year so comforting really helps me deal with this life 🕉

  • @jarimando
    @jarimando 9 лет назад +105

    I was born as a christian and try to practice it (in the last 50 years) - When the teaching of the Buddha came - I was able to understand and give compassion to my religion which is so much broken, hurt and in pain. Ajahn Brahm gave more insights that are practical and effective. Now I can be a better christian. Thank you.

    • @jarimando
      @jarimando 9 лет назад +29

      Hi hux bells, I came across a documentary about Buddha's life, that where I started. In my christian tradition we are taught the we have to accept things as a matter of faith. In the teaching of the Buddha it clearly defines the things as they are, how it surface, the source if it - and how to end it.
      What I really love about the teaching is its non-judgemental, non-forcing and non-authoritative approach - which show a lot of humility and compassion. It doesn't dictates what you think. You have to figure it out -your own progress.
      Yes, I do meditation, but I use it to get what I want for material things, I was programming the mind to achieve earthly results- but these kind of mind stuff leads to unsatisfactory and more craving. After learning from Buddha's teaching - I started to aim nothingness - just stillness in meditation. Peace.

  • @cmbnyo
    @cmbnyo 9 лет назад +122

    Listening to Ajhan Brahm's stories before I proceed to bed teach me a lot in life. Spending one hour on this talks has an immense value .... Thank you for uploading ...

    • @debbie233
      @debbie233 6 лет назад +8

      Agreed! These have become my bedtime stories as well :)

    • @nishantchhetri5961
      @nishantchhetri5961 4 года назад +3

      Yet I don't change
      Am talking Bout me

    • @darudeSandstorm.
      @darudeSandstorm. 4 года назад +2

      Same

    • @tia2all501
      @tia2all501 2 года назад +3

      I do the same thing as you every night saves my sanity 🕉

    • @maralynfarber2068
      @maralynfarber2068 2 года назад +4

      Me too in 2022.❤️🌹

  • @melpiano
    @melpiano 8 лет назад +99

    I am so glad I found Ajahn Brahm. It feels amazing to here him talk. Love this guy.

    • @thisguy7633
      @thisguy7633 7 лет назад +7

      Love you too!

    • @shobi13
      @shobi13 7 лет назад

      HOW DID YOU FIND HIM

    • @amc903
      @amc903 5 лет назад +1

      He is helping me to change for the better, I am hooked, and stay up to late to watching him. I should be sleeping now. :)

    • @joannecorry1452
      @joannecorry1452 2 года назад

      The best love your wise words and story’s ☮️❤️

  • @daliagrace9050
    @daliagrace9050 5 лет назад +16

    One of Ajahn Brahm's best talks❤

  • @tracyraven7444
    @tracyraven7444 6 лет назад +11

    So adorable how Ajahn Brahm laughs at his own jokes 😂❤

  • @erasmus9511
    @erasmus9511 9 лет назад +40

    Ajahn Brahm change my life! thankyou!!

  • @nzrdb6
    @nzrdb6 9 лет назад +26

    One of his best ever talks

  • @estebanb7166
    @estebanb7166 5 лет назад +13

    These talks have changed my life for the better, in so many ways. Thank you so much. And best to any who might read this.

  • @deecarcieri1575
    @deecarcieri1575 8 лет назад +16

    how grateful I am to be able to hear ajahn Brahm .he is saving me how very wonderful it must be to be in his presence,in his audience

    • @brittyasmine7865
      @brittyasmine7865 5 лет назад +3

      He is an interesting and fascinating man who has coped with some very interesting situations when I have been there ( and by the way I don't think his audience find him as funny and humorous as he really is, I really like his sense of humour ) He is very accessible, humble and easy to talk too. I had no idea he had such a following when I was attending the temple. 💕

  • @SusmitaBarua_mita
    @SusmitaBarua_mita 8 лет назад +14

    Buddha spoke of cultivating loving-kindness, being a mother to the world and ourselves in metta sutta; only that kind of care takes us beyond survival fear; rare beings have no spikes...so true..making peace within us and the world and experience perfect stillness before we die!

  • @treesrNB
    @treesrNB 9 лет назад +4

    thx so much for this talk. As a buddhist it strengthened my faith in Buddhism.

  • @Pedrerio
    @Pedrerio 9 лет назад +8

    Ajahn Brahm always thank you for your kind words!! Thank you.

  • @jamillecavalcanti4525
    @jamillecavalcanti4525 9 лет назад +6

    Thanks Ajahn Brahm! What a nice talk!

  • @re98wlk55
    @re98wlk55 9 лет назад +4

    i love you ajahn brahm! who could give this thumbs down?

  • @galeeka1
    @galeeka1 8 лет назад +6

    you are a blessing to the world Ajanbrahm Thero. THANKnYOU

  • @lordbyron3603
    @lordbyron3603 9 лет назад +2

    I needed to hear this particular talk tonight. I've been feeling vacant, empty and lifeless -- "lost" all week. I'm feeling balance centered again. Thank you for uploading. Sadhu 3X.

  • @thudo5587
    @thudo5587 5 лет назад +2

    it as the main practice of my day, and today ''To care , not to cure .It s total different of the board.''
    Thank Ajahn Brahm

  • @venerablemanshing6350
    @venerablemanshing6350 5 лет назад +3

    One of the best talks I’ve listened to! Thank you ajahn Brahm!

  • @siaulk
    @siaulk Год назад +1

    Thank You Ajahn Brahm for this talk.

  • @limbenglee
    @limbenglee 4 года назад +2

    Once Ifelt like disappearing from the world, after listening to his talk, I felt relax and forget the stress that I am facing. His talk is therapeutic.

  • @Ninurtha1
    @Ninurtha1 9 лет назад +5

    Eternal life saver, Thank You A B .🔱

  • @kanchanabatuwana8552
    @kanchanabatuwana8552 7 лет назад +6

    you make my heart filled with love Ajahn Brahn.come visit Sri Lanka again please

  • @cdib88
    @cdib88 9 лет назад +1

    We LOVE Ajahn Brahm and here is the essence of living dhamma! SADHU SADHU SADHU!

  • @jaiapeace7992
    @jaiapeace7992 7 лет назад +3

    Love all your talks you are so wonderful and give the world so much wisdom and insight . One day I will come to Perth and come to see you. I have a few friends there also. I find your talks so soothing to ones soul.

  • @sdcornermotivation505
    @sdcornermotivation505 9 лет назад +3

    Very Greatful for all your advices, talks. Very Very Greatful.

  • @anastasiyapanteleyko4725
    @anastasiyapanteleyko4725 7 лет назад +2

    ...Thanks for sharing so many enlightening thoughts, practice-full. You are great and yet so humble!!

  • @gypsy5965
    @gypsy5965 4 года назад +2

    Ajhan, you are amazing, with your twist of humour on each subject helps to heal, my daughter took her life april 2018 her son (grandson) and i listen to your videos for comfort, you have helped us, and one day i would love to have the pleaaure of meeting you

  • @navenchang
    @navenchang 5 месяцев назад +1

    Buddhism philosophy is simple, fun, easy understand, and the best..

  • @inquisitive99
    @inquisitive99 7 лет назад +2

    Thank you for this video..loved the bad joke..my true wish is to meet ajahn brahm now..god willing!

  • @JoelAdamson
    @JoelAdamson 9 лет назад +1

    Thank you Ajahn Brahm. I hope you're having a nice summer ;)

  • @Nathanjo88
    @Nathanjo88 9 лет назад +3

    Thank you very much Ajahn Brahm :)

  • @kalimanbuda6501
    @kalimanbuda6501 2 года назад

    I love listening to music...listening to ajanh brahm is like enjoying beautiful music from your favourite musical band....waooo...same kudos to lama ritchen

  • @mariusbaltazarrozenberg-ho9367
    @mariusbaltazarrozenberg-ho9367 8 лет назад +2

    point of life: leave the world a better place than you found it, harm none, be good, be strong, work hard, be smart, honour, respect & appreciate your family, health, friends, money, work, achieve self actualisation, leave a legacy of love, happiness, gratitude, make your life an example with no guilt or regrets or & no wrong done.

  • @belhypotheque6417
    @belhypotheque6417 2 года назад

    Really great talk Ajahn Brahm. Even the joke was top notch! Thank you and blessings as usual x

  • @grantday9630
    @grantday9630 5 лет назад +1

    These talks are absolutely profound

  • @PerseusSagittarius
    @PerseusSagittarius 6 лет назад +1

    Thank you, Venerable Ajahn Brahm. I wish I could be anywhere near you.

  • @Ravenzpeak
    @Ravenzpeak 9 лет назад +1

    Thank you Ajahn. Much love to you and gratitude!

  • @bruxulaandrews5369
    @bruxulaandrews5369 3 года назад

    I love listen this monk! Ajahn Brahm talk soft and tenderness, touch the deep of the heart.

  • @bukfenc9462
    @bukfenc9462 3 года назад

    Thank you Ajhan Brahm. Thank you so so much for your teachings. So wonderfully wise and friendly and such a big help in everyday life.

  • @lilianteo3229
    @lilianteo3229 Год назад

    Very accurately delivered the meaning of "unconditional" in/with "true" love. Ajahn Brahm is among the many of Buddha's expedients to pave individuals find their paths under own free will. No conditions applied.
    RIGHT understanding/view ignites RIGHT effort.

  • @didierlason6453
    @didierlason6453 4 года назад

    Ajahn Brahm speaks the truth of all truths. He is truly an enlightened man. His ego is barely there. Purest of hearts. I beg you to listen to him if you want genuine peace and happiness. I wish happiness and enlightenment for all.

  • @bronxmosthated1
    @bronxmosthated1 Год назад +1

    Thank you

  • @mettachooiailin6238
    @mettachooiailin6238 9 лет назад +2

    awesome talk.....as usual..... by an awesome teacher...... heehee =)

  • @drnostrum
    @drnostrum 9 лет назад +1

    Thank you, Ajahn Brahm, your stillness.

  • @sikkigoh
    @sikkigoh 9 лет назад +2

    Thank you Ajahn

  • @Nobody-vr5nl
    @Nobody-vr5nl 7 лет назад +1

    thank you. this is probably my favorite talk so far. I've only heard a dozen or so tho. so I'm sure there's much more to love ^_^

  • @maria07161
    @maria07161 2 года назад

    Thank you Ajhan Brahm for your amazing talks make me feel so peaceful and help me understand a lot of things in life

  • @cheesengkhor7237
    @cheesengkhor7237 8 лет назад +2

    Thank you for sharing.

  • @jlavigne22
    @jlavigne22 8 лет назад +1

    Thank you Ajahn Brahm

  • @witchytings215
    @witchytings215 4 года назад

    One thing everyone remembers about my friend is his heart.... His kindness. How much of an amazing person he was. This makes me have peace about him graduating from this life.

  • @JuiceTubes
    @JuiceTubes 5 лет назад +2

    I love 998 bricks of Ajahn Brahm. The two bricks I also love: his ego and his blind spots.

  • @manud9969
    @manud9969 9 лет назад +1

    Blessed be, Ajahn Brahm!

  • @MrSushi1010
    @MrSushi1010 6 лет назад

    Thank you Ajahn Brahm 🙏😊 i think i'm gonna watch this video over and over and over, because there are many jewels wrapped up in this sphere of humility, wisdom, and kindness energies you are sending out - even through a video posted a few years ago 🙏❤️ i can't thank you enough for being sincere and honest. And I'm touched because you also don't want pride and complacency to get in the way. Sadhu 🙏 sadhu 🙏 sadhu 🙏 ❤️❤️❤️

  • @stanbimi
    @stanbimi 5 лет назад +1

    Actually, based on other talks by Ajahn Brahm, and deeper into Buddhist teachings, the answer to "Why are we here?" is that we were being pushed by the force of past actions and desires, and we can't help but being here! That's Karma. We were "subconsciously" drawn by the forces of past habits and preferences to seek out and attach to the things we like and desire. So life doesn't necessarily has any meaning at all. It is just a process.

  • @tracyraven7444
    @tracyraven7444 6 лет назад +1

    Thank you .. changed my life

  • @cazadoo339
    @cazadoo339 9 лет назад +8

    Thankyou for your patience. I watch every upload not only because i am a stressed out mother of the modern world and it takes alot longer to practice this but also because it is nice to hear your talks and know i am listening with likeminded people.

  • @jeffreykoutsogianis3707
    @jeffreykoutsogianis3707 9 лет назад +1

    Ive come to notice that all the great enlightened teachers through out time have said the same simple thing...Love your neighbor as you would love yourself...the Buddha, Jesus, Gandi,and many others, all of them said this in one way or another...Ajhan Brahm says and seems to teach the very same thing i see nothing but goodness in what he says or how he teaches thank you Ajhan Brahm youve helped to grow in my spiritual life.

    • @danniedee1
      @danniedee1 7 лет назад

      Jeffrey, I agree. Thank you

  • @hl4722
    @hl4722 4 года назад

    So profound! THANK YOU SO MUCH Ajahn Brahm!! I'll put my efforts to practice what you said in my life!!! sadhu sadhu sadhu

  • @WhitneyDahlin
    @WhitneyDahlin 7 лет назад +21

    its really sad to me hearing him talk about the unconditional love of a mother. my mother is mentally ill and abusive physically and emotionally. she rips pictures off of walls and punches us kids. we're old enough to be out of the house now but mother always says I deserve to live in a homeless shelter and that I fucked up her life by being born. she's a holy terror. I wish I had a mom that loved me. but i guess it's good for non-attachment reasons. because of her I've learned to detach myself from her and from what I want her to be and instead accept her for who she is even if that means avoiding her for months at a time when she has episodes and bans me from visiting her

    • @neta9740
      @neta9740 7 лет назад +1

      Whitney Dahlin I've never had a mother

    • @jw2800
      @jw2800 7 лет назад +7

      Whitney Dahlin I'm sorry to hear about your mother.. she is obviously ill.. just remember that those are her issues and it's not u that is the problem... much love to u and wish u the best life has to offer.. including unconditional love :)

    • @WhitneyDahlin
      @WhitneyDahlin 7 лет назад +1

      Jamie Lauren you can have mine

    • @kamrynrattana
      @kamrynrattana 7 лет назад

      Whitney Dahlin oh my

    • @simoncosgrove7004
      @simoncosgrove7004 7 лет назад +8

      although your biological mother is obviously not in the right frame of mind to be a maternal figure for you, this doesn't mean that you can't find other caring and inspiring women (or even men) who can help to guide you. i hope that your mother makes it through this dark period. i for one will always love you unconditionally

  • @Tridib_Tinkel
    @Tridib_Tinkel Год назад

    I so needed this

  • @nessieness5433
    @nessieness5433 8 лет назад +29

    This is like a sit-down comedian... instead of a stand-up one.

    • @saaosiam8314
      @saaosiam8314 8 лет назад +6

      Troll! I don't care what you respect but don't come here to disrespect.
      BTW, Buddha invites everyone to examine his teachings. Peace!

    • @nessieness5433
      @nessieness5433 8 лет назад

      Peace to you to and let people voice an opinion.

    • @saaosiam8314
      @saaosiam8314 8 лет назад +2

      Voice an opinion is fine but not with disrespect.

    • @nessieness5433
      @nessieness5433 8 лет назад

      +Saao Siam There is no disrespect, he is nothing but a sit-down comedian.

    • @No2Blame
      @No2Blame 8 лет назад +2

      +Nessie Ness You have interesting observation... you are saying he is wise comedian. I like that! :)

  • @Buddha-sTeaching
    @Buddha-sTeaching 9 лет назад +1

    Another incredible talk. Sathu Sathu Sathu.

  • @shiftnizzle
    @shiftnizzle 9 лет назад +1

    Thank you :)

  • @PabloVestory
    @PabloVestory 2 года назад

    Dear Ajahn Brahm, I'm sorry to contradict you but I believe yo have no other choice at all but to be a very little bit proud, because the Good you are doing for all of us and bringing to the universe, is inmense. Thank you!🙏🙏🙏

  • @bangtwister
    @bangtwister 9 лет назад +11

    Thumbs up for liking The Doors :-)

  • @hollycline2427
    @hollycline2427 6 лет назад +1

    Amazingly beautiful
    Thank you for caring 💟

  • @vstm3950
    @vstm3950 5 лет назад +1

    Beautiful

  • @annsilliman6184
    @annsilliman6184 5 лет назад +2

    I hope that someday you can come to the central new york usa area. I would love to meet you.

  • @henrijeanmariusbarthas6520
    @henrijeanmariusbarthas6520 2 года назад

    For people who say Ajahn Bramavamso didn't answer the question: People want ready-made answers to believe in. As in the time of the Buddha: "Is there a 'self' or not?" If the Buddha gives a damn answer it becomes a damn belief ... So, the Buddha taught a way to go to see for oneself and not have a belief in a ready-made answer. More often we prefer to have a false certainty than to follow the path. We might think it's more comfortable ... Many thanks to Ajahn Bram for proposing this path of unconditional love, the path of "taking care" to see for ourselves the answer.

  • @mariaelenalicitra2715
    @mariaelenalicitra2715 2 года назад

    Simply Beautiful.

  • @PetrisTorres
    @PetrisTorres 5 лет назад

    What a beautiful little pond.

  • @DebbieRodgers
    @DebbieRodgers 9 лет назад

    Thank you!

  • @dianele5677
    @dianele5677 9 лет назад +2

    Let's not waste your precious time responding to reply attacking Ajahn Brahm. Instead, use your time and spread Ajahn Brahm teachings of unconditional love and compassion, kindfulness to yourself; and service to others.

  • @elizabethhjenkins6172
    @elizabethhjenkins6172 6 лет назад +1

    I have great appreciation for Ajahn Brahm. He has helped me understand the Dharma better than any other teacher.

  • @SandraLovesRoses
    @SandraLovesRoses 5 лет назад +1

    It seems like so many people don't accept love, won't let it in. I think that makes it difficult to love sometimes. It's like it is okay if it is within your family, but outside of it, if you say you love someone, some people seem to have strange reactions. Like it is overwhelming or it makes them uncomfortable. Or someone says it, but their actions say otherwise - like they neglect you. What is love? It is sometimes hard to give it, when it doesn't feel like you are getting any yourself and when rejection happens. I think that is why having children is popular. I won't be having any, so I feel like I am in a unique situation, looking for unconditional love when it is almost always automatically there between a mother and a child. I hope I can make enough friends and a partner in life that loves unconditionally. It makes me sad not to have that. Source of my depression, I believe.

  • @sarazink1
    @sarazink1 9 лет назад

    Thank you.

  • @mvann5
    @mvann5 Год назад +1

    My mother was incapable of unconditional love. She was a narcissistic and hence there was trauma, and drama in my upbringing. How does Buddhism address such early damage?

  • @mazzywazzy1287
    @mazzywazzy1287 8 лет назад +1

    I cried with laughter at the 'bad' joke .. Just what I needed thank you.

  • @amanda2276
    @amanda2276 Год назад +1

    ❤❤❤

  • @ilikeworldssongs3208
    @ilikeworldssongs3208 6 лет назад

    People are born to do good.
    And the way is immortal.

  • @edgregory1
    @edgregory1 Год назад

    We'll never know why anything exists, just enjoy the ride.

  • @crystalheart9
    @crystalheart9 9 лет назад

    One should always be able to ask questions and think for yourself. The religion I was raised in, thinking for yourself and asking questions was not allowed.

  • @lordbyron3603
    @lordbyron3603 9 лет назад +44

    Gayan Perera,
    Ajahn Brahm is an enlightened being. When one is enlightened, there is no more "Buddhism" in that person. And there certainly is no more Christianity either. An enlightened being is above and beyond any "ulterior" motive as you say. And Gayan Perera, you have it backwards. The Buddha was 500 plus years before Jesus. So it's highly probable that Jesus was taught by a Buddhist monk when he was all alone up in those mountains. Also the Four Noble Truths is the foundation of existence. They cannot be replaced by any other teachings or religion -- most especially, not by Christianity. I've also chatted with Christians ... heck, I was one myself. I don't recall any of them say anything about one having unconditional love. All I ever hear them say is "don't accept who you are, you're a sinner and need to change, you're going to hell for your belief, you're not good enough, don't love thy neighbor because he's gay, you'll burn in hell if you don't proclaim Jesus as your Savior, and on and on, Blah, blah, blah." There is a lot of hatred in your Christianity dude. Hatred of oneself and others. Hatred of others who think differently. There's no unconditional love. It is an intolerant religion.

    • @japandata
      @japandata 9 лет назад +2

      Gayan Perera
      Through praise or charms or speaking well,
      Through giving or through tradition,
      Whatever things he finds are good,
      Is where he should make his effort.

    • @jacquelinedejong6109
      @jacquelinedejong6109 9 лет назад +1

      Gayan Perera you seem so unhappy :-(

    • @jacquelinedejong6109
      @jacquelinedejong6109 9 лет назад +2

      Gayan Perera I wish you happiness and wisdom in your quest to prove the lay people (like me) that your ego is so big :-)

    • @lordbyron3603
      @lordbyron3603 9 лет назад +1

      Hey Gayan Perera,
      Dude, you are really full of yourself (your-"self"). Come to the teachings of "Anatta" (non-self or no self) to help you break through the thick wall and prison of your own making. Until you do, all your comments, all your advice are coming from a deluded "state of being", coming from this inflated sense of "ego" ... gibberish or nonsense. And as for my own enlightened, I'm far from it. And if I were, I wouldn't proclaim to be either, because then "that" would be coming from my delusion. You need to concern yourself with your own enlightenment, and not others.

    • @wisa0904
      @wisa0904 9 лет назад

      Gayan Perera when there's no self then there's no I nor you nor them who need convincing...if there's no self there's no need to be vindictive..when there's ego you want to change things or rather in ajahn brahm's words 'cure' things to your likings or dislikings, when you attach yourself and harp on your disliking over something or someone that means you yourself is caught in the delusion of a self..first step to get over delusional 'self' is to "accept things as they are" and not try to attach to thoughts as me, myself and I and be driven by them. only then will you see the truth...that's the real dhamma that lord buddha taught and from how i understand that's the profound meaning behind ajahn brahm's sermon. again no hard feelings on you i just felt like saying this out of compassion, peace! over and out!

  • @tommygun7702
    @tommygun7702 4 года назад +2

    I cry sometimes when I feel like my other side of family left me out I wish they can call me tell me that they miss me love me but one day I love this monk saibadi I Jon

  • @debbiewasshername
    @debbiewasshername 9 лет назад +1

    hes getting warm

  • @lilianteo3229
    @lilianteo3229 Год назад

    Jokes can only happen among people/others (good or bad). If I think if I got entangled in it/them, that's when I think I was being laughed at or kind of victim of some sorts.
    I think to be free from entanglement is to learn to see the non-self, no-ego because it takes one to laugh or entangle the other if they are all victims themselves altogether.

  • @shobi13
    @shobi13 7 лет назад +2

    and i think your monastery could do to train staff on dealing with peoples emotions in a sensitive manner

  • @user-fu3ls9iu8z
    @user-fu3ls9iu8z 3 месяца назад

    🙏🙏🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️💐

  • @gunny4029
    @gunny4029 6 лет назад +1

    but we don't learn we just go round in circles always repeating the past

  • @michaelcorlet2998
    @michaelcorlet2998 2 года назад

    Thankyou.

  • @pvt.vassili9863
    @pvt.vassili9863 6 месяцев назад

    There are some really deep things were said in this video.. And why do i feel they are so deep? Because i didn't reached to the earlier stages of understanding yet... so understand slowly.. meditation can help you get there..

  • @---Free-Comics---IG---Playtard
    @---Free-Comics---IG---Playtard 9 лет назад +4

    Bingo!
    +1

  • @MustAfaalik
    @MustAfaalik 2 года назад

    Was it after this talk came the advise "Make peace, be kind, be gentle" with others & oneself? The more i know about Ajahn Brahm, the more i revere him. May he be well.

  • @shobi13
    @shobi13 7 лет назад

    and to open the door of your heart to your daughter

  • @wthomas7955
    @wthomas7955 2 года назад

    The reason people search for love is because in the presence of a lover we abandon fear.

  • @09goodies
    @09goodies 8 лет назад

    Yup can tell this guy is a technical guy!

  • @gerardwise67
    @gerardwise67 4 месяца назад

    🙏

  • @fingerprint5511
    @fingerprint5511 Год назад

    🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @melvinmacias2597
    @melvinmacias2597 8 лет назад

    I am pretty sure Ajahn Brahm would laugh at this. He wouldn't think it was disrespectful.