Behaviors of Narcs, Psychopaths and Sociopaths
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- Опубликовано: 20 окт 2024
- There is a lot of information on different types of conditions and behaviors. There are not a lot of examples to help people who are unaware of narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths to recognize the signs of one of these people. It can be challenging to deal with a person whom you expect (based on your experience) to act in a certain way and then have one of these things occur. Often to be polite or to get along you may want to give someone the benefit of the doubt- particularly when they are a member of your family, a person you consider your friend or someone you are dating or married to. This video gives you a sampling of 35 behaviors that occur with a narcissist, a psychopath and a sociopath. It's easier not to be snagged by one of these people if you are aware of them and these behaviors.
Do you have others to add to our list? Leave it in the comments so others can benefit.
For information on empathy:
having it • Signs you have empathy.
examples of lack of empathy • Signs they lack empathy.
This is projecting: • This is projecting
Strategies to deal • How to recognize and h...
Narcissists at work • 4 ways to identify nar...
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Narcissists never listen and interrupt constantly. Very jealous of others' talents and take credit for ideas that were not their own (stealing). Hate boundaries and will violate to test. Exaggerate their own achievements (as you mentioned). Thank you for great video.
I interrupt people. I don't mean to. When they pause I think they're finished but they aren't and I've already started talking. Then they keep talking and it gets awkward.
Yes exactly. One-upmanship. Always. You did something. They did it better. Everyone else? Useless.
Been somewhere? They've already been there and the experience was better than anything you experienced. Owned something? They've owned it, for longer, paid less. Ugh!
@@0annonymous Very true. You have to look at the complete pattern over time.
@@lightoflife7795 Oh, exactly!
ACADEMIC SURVIVAL.....
THANK YOU!!
I SO CAN RELATE!
YOU KNOW WHAT MY PARENTS
SAID TO ME ABOUT
BOUNDARIES?
AND I QUOTE(MIND U I HAD
SPOKEN TO MY (M)/(D)
SEPARATELY).(m) I take
Care of her... and she continues
To try & push my" boundaries"
When there something that I
Need to do for myself.
I have gotten A lot better
At responding ...taljing with
That " indifference " tone.
Practicing JADE technique
( I recommend it to all....
IT really does WORK)
OF COURSE.... FOR ME SOME
DAYS ARE BETTER THAN
OTHERS! U KNOW 2 STEPS FOWARD....
25 STEPS BACK.....
ANYWAY, MY N.P.D.'S(D)
RESPONSE REALLY
THREW ME!
AS I CONFRONTED HIM ABOUT
BOUNDARIES.....
HE SAID " WE D ONT HAVE
BOUNDARIES IN THIS
HOUSE! U KNOW UR (M)
WON'T TOLERATE THAT!"
I KID U NOT!!!
AFTER I PICKED UP A MY
JAW OFF THE FLOOR.....
I REPLIED...
WELL IF U & M DIDN'T
TEACH US BOUNDARIES
THEN HOW DID U RAISE
4 CHILDREN?"
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE GAVE ME NO
RESPONSE! HOW IS THAT
FOR A "STUMPER?"
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING!JUST 1. MORE TBING I WOULD LIKE TO ADD....
THIS CHILDISH DISPOSITION
IN MY EXPERIENCE HAS ALSO BEEN ACCOMPANIED WITH
A CHILDISH STATEMENT
WHICH GOES FOLLOWS:
" I DON'T LIKE TO BE TOLD
WHAT TO DO !!!"
IS THAT THE MOST INANE
STATEMENT?
PEACE TO ALL OF U WHO
ARE RECOVERYING FROM
THIS NARC MADDNESS!
They never let you feel safe in a relationship.
They never answer a question directly.
Most of the time never listen, and you waste time and energy explainig things that are just common sense.
They don't do anything for free.
They ruin your plans or goals.
They never apologize.
Their response to questions are non sense, illogic, absurd answers.
They wont accept boundaries in the relationship.
So so true, my last relationship to. T..
Actually it's quite the contrary. You feel safe very quickly also trust.
Exactly...
@@JAYMOAP stfu
Trova PR Holy cow, does that sound like my sociopath ex.
Yes, I encountered all of these and a number of weird variations. My favorite one occurred when a family member told me she likes to talk to me because it gives her something to push back against. In other words, she likes conversing with me so she can practice her argumentation skills. How crazy is that? She wants me to feel bad so she can get good at something. It's a sadistic form of lacking empathy.
There is only one clue that you are in a relationship or a family of sociopaths: your life is a chaotic hell
Well done @Bella!
That's because they crave drama. Since they have a low arousal capacity they need to create drama to feel alive.
Hell yeah and then they accuse others of being the sociopath
I'm pretty sure she just gave us 35 clues....
They create the same chaos in the workplace!
Excellent!! You covered super close to their day to day REALITY
Passive agressive!... don't forget passive-aggressive! Also, if you are in a relationship and you find that everything, I mean everything is your fault, then you're probably in a relationship with a toxic person
Curious Carpenter yes!
shhhhhh
Yup, its so deppressing to always be in trouble when they are the ones exploiting you & treating you like dirt1
A Passive aggressive scenario is when they say they're not mad about something that would make anyone upset, yet they lie & deny, they play it cool, trying to appear unbothered when you can see they're masking, their silently seething inside and you fear the repercussions. They will wait it out to attack in retaliation at some point, when you least expect it, throwing you off guard, destabilizing you, pushing you off balance as they revel in your downfall. Its devious sadistic malicious pleasure. Secretly Planning payback for something you don't even know you did wrong or innocently accidently offended someone. Narcissistic rage is strange, they can feel insanely slighted while you can be completely unaware and confused. Its blizzard, can't even get my head around it.
What if you are the toxic person who is constantly hurting, lying devaluing - like horrific name calling , talking about it anything else than what your partner is actually trying to discuss, punching holes in the walls, or throwing their shit around or talking trash about everyone you love, or ghosting or raging, and you’re being called out on that but you get mad and feel really inconvenienced by it because “you can’t do anything right”
Absolutist. You can NEVER please them. they're always trying to "fix" you cuz you've disappointed them in some way. They"re horrendous people. RUN!
The lies are the hardest part cause u second guess everything they tell u, wow
Gaslighting be careful...
Knowing these red flags could very well save your life or the life of someone you know.
HI Cindy - true
I have a daughter that has gas lighted me for years. I honestly did doubt my sanity for years. Now I just ignore her when she starts with her BS. I can NOT tell you the many years I allowed her to break my heart. Not any more. Thanks to videos like this and several other speakers on the same topics.
Shit rolls down hill.
yup feel your pain
Same. we could talk UGH
Who raised her?
Great message! Thank you for trying to be precise and help the victims of these people become victorious instead. NO CONTACT IS THE ONLY WAY!!
Thanks so much @sweettart and thank you for sharing your experience!
They don't give you credit , validate or acknowledge you for things you've done... They will take the credit themselves so that they look good to other people. If you mention it to them,,,, they will rage at you. They are also very avoidant about discussing issues that they started and caused and do not apologize or feel any empathy towards how their negative behaviors hurt you. In fact, if you tell them how hurtful they were to you... Often gives them a sense of accomplishment and power that they had that kind of control over hurting you. Very sick and evil
😱😳😳😳lying, invading your privacy, bad managing money, childlike behavior, animal cruelty good grief! Thanks u are a gift!
Hi Amanda-
Sorry you had an experience that caused you to seek out info but having it now should help you in the future!
Lol, sounds like my dad
I am an empathetic, trusting person, and that is like catnip to a Psychopath/sociopath/narcissist. This is why I have been in two long-term relationships with clinically diagnosed women. I have experienced all or most of these traits. One thing I would add, would be what I call the Defcon 1 technique. This is when you try and get them to take responsibility for something awful that they have done, and they threaten the most awful consequences unless you back off. One example is when my wife had a catastrophic and destructive affair. After I had taken her back, I got a phone bill at my business for the house where she was with this guy which was in my name. Most of the bill was from calls she had made to his mobile number. When I showed her the bill, her reaction was not to apologise and offer to handle it, but to say "if you want to talk about this, then our marriage is over". It left me no way out. By the way, if someone tells you that their exes were crazy, that may not be a red flag. They might just be an truthful empath! Ask their friends!
@44JesusIsLord44 Absolutely. You wouldn't believe the level of crazy. I massively understated it in my comment, but I can't write an essay here!
True to that last part. I'm sorry you have gone through that. It is so unfair that the people who are most vulnerable and are able to be hurt the most are the most frequently victimized. I am like you in that I am extremely trusting, I idealize people and am willing to sacrifice anything for their sake. I've been in a series of relationships with these types. They will break you down, hold the relationship over your head for any reason, will show the most cold and cruel disregard for your feelings. The worst part is how convincing they come off when they're trying to love bomb you. This is where the most sinister part of it, because you will forever be in love with that version of them and trying to get it back. You will blame yourself, you will try to change anything about yourself, and this is the point - control. The only way to get that back is to stand up for yourself and leave, that's when they crawl back with false remorse. Don't believe any of it. Stay away, because you have already experienced what they are capable of.
I had an ex narc friend like this, she cheated on her husband and I fell for the it's his fault line, but he took her back and I have went no contact years ago because of her cruelty and bullying towards me the 'loyal' (mug) friend. But I realised he deserves her let him get on with it he unfriended me on FB after I unfriended her, to him it's ALL about appearances that's more important trying to keep up with the neighbourhood. But to my knowledge most men will put up with crap from a woman if she's attractive or exciting and ignore decent women (me)!
@@amaze2n I'm so sorry that you went through this too. The things you said strike such a chord with me, thank you. Interestingly, I had a conversation with my daughter recently, who came to live with me after her mother died (she had used the children as a weapon against me since we broke up, constantly denying me access to control me). She said that her mother had given her some advice: study people, analyse them, find out what they want, and become that ideal person for them. After that, they will give you anything.
Fortunately, my daughter is an empath like me, and does not use others for her own gain. I hope that you are doing well now
@@mysticpizza02 Yes, it is such a minefield. I'm sorry that you lost your friend like that. I never cared about keeping up appearances for the neighbours though, so I didn't have that. I'm a professional musician and studio owner, so I'm already an outcast!
One characterstic not mentioned in this video, but very important all the same, is feigned/fabricated emotions.
It took me a while to realise this, but my ex used a facade of vulnerability to lure men in. She also weaved lies with truths. She was beaten up by her ex (truth - he admitted as much to me) and used me to get her out of their relationship (he tried to confront me, but when I didn't back down he skulked away like the woman-beating coward he is).
She then started to date another man while going out with me, telling me we can't be seen in public together because she was worried about causing a scene with her ex. I knew our relationship had a shelf-life and didn't bother checking up on her, but she was sloppy in covering her tracks (one item in this vid!) and I found out about it soon enough.
What was really disturbing about the whole experience, however, was this: just before the end, I wanted to take a step back and take things less seriously with her. I suggested as much to her, emphasising that we would still be an 'item' and that there would be no sleeping with other people, but she flew off the handle and even threatened to kill herself - in front of me, with a knife she'd taken from my kitchen worktop. At the time, she was seeing this other guy on Fridays and Saturdays and me during the rest of the week, but when faced with the prospect of giving up just some of those weekdays she erected a facade of fragility to keep me invested. It takes a special kind of depravity to do what she did to me, and I genuinely believe she is either a psychopath or a sociopath. I'm also happy I no longer have to put up with her bullshit!
Saving to playlist. This is once of the best videos on the subject. On point,accurate.no reading and no obnoxious music. Thank you so much. I will be sharing this video.
Thanks @Pattianne !
A shocking accurate description of theses kinds of evil people.!
LOL
Look at people like objects or means to move forward
They will act like they care but it is simply to further their goals
But they make sure you don’t know that because it is in fact seen as being far more genuine than it actually is
Yes, 100%. Treating people as transactions
So well said and 100% correct. Had parents and a husband like this. So selfish, self-centered and cruel with their behaviour. Always up to no good behind your back. Insidious and devious. Always have to win and you have to agree with them because they will punish you in some way or another. Mind-games, controlling in relationships with people. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personalities. Different faces for people. House Devil and street Angel. That's the way Cluster B's behave.
Wow thank you for this. My abuser had me convinced everyone including myself was crazy but her and she was omniscient, almost god-like. It took an intervention to free me but my sister isn’t as lucky.
Sorry for what you went through Jane - and your sister too.You each fell for someone like that once- hopefully never again.
" all of their exes were crazy" - YUP he told me that!!!
@DeeVee - sounds like a song lyric!
Heard that too.
Hi... A few thoughts. Listening to list of red flag one wouldn't be able to miss a character such as that. However it can be a bit more tricky and we must not assume that someone having a bad day meets the criteria. I believe the key is these red flags are consistent over time. It is the overt manipulation and abusive behaviour that is difficult to spot as it is delivered in a very sneaky way and is designed to wear the victim down by causing self doubt also known as cognitive dissonance. The red flags you described also operate at different intelligence levels and what you have put across is of lesser IQ and pretty easy to spot. Like most things there's a sliding scale and nothing is just black and white. So I believe the manipulation becomes more sophisticated and harder to define between the lesser NPD and the greater NPD. You spoke about Empathy in another of your videos and this is the Key. There is Empathy and then there is Empathy and one is false. The false Empathy is a learned Empathy that is actually drawn from Ego and is a performance (not real). In your Court sessions I'm sure you try to feel whether a person is truly sorry or not. And sorry for who... for self and being caught or for hurting the victim. We wonder how a disordered person can do what they do... how can they treat another like that? We think from our prospective and our feelings but once we learn and understand about No Empathy then we realise an emotional predator can plot and play with another's mind with no conscience to cause hurt in them for they have very Little or No Empathy. This gives them the advantage and the entitlement that they feel. I believe this condition has its roots in dysfunctional families that follows the scape goat process and largely creates these disorders including co-dependency traits and people pleasers. It continues for it is passed from one generation to the next. A Narcissistic parent programs children during those early years 0 to 6 when a child's character is developing. In short they split the child's mind resulting in the false self. It is global and increasing... It is so important to educate and promote what a healthy family is and the difference between controlling a child and nurturing a child.... waffled a bit but this subject is a big concern for me. Have listened to a few of your videos and its great to hear the message getting out for there is a lot of suffering in this World and people need to become aware of it. So many victims suffer in silence and doubt themselves... cheers keep up the vids... D (:
Thanks so much for contributing to the dialogue with good information David!
This is so spot on...a lifetime of this for me. I am 66 years old and codependent no more. I am blessed ♡ Thanks for your input.
Dafydd ap Rhys .... in another video I just tonight learned the difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy can be used against the person being "studied" but sympathy is getting on the same team with the subject person.
Maybe if men cared about anything more than sex, then they would stop marrying, having children with narc women. Maybe if they cared anything about other people, they would rescue their children from the abusive mother. Just a thought.
Well said.
Thank you for validating the insanity that I had to live with for 17 years! You just cannot comprehend this hell untill you are in the snares of this abuse!
Hi @Jennie Oh- so sorry for your experience. Sounds like you are now free and empowered and healing!
Very thorough, accurate and articulate 👏🏾 thank you!
You're very welcome @MzNaeture - thanks for watching!
Problem is... a lot of these behavioral examples many people do. What’s important to look for is when there are quite a few of these examples and a “pattern of behavior” over a few years with a person.
If you tell them about anything that's worth anything to you, that thing is as good as gone.
That's how you know. Weather it be a relationship, anything.
There's a pendulum to it, so it's better to lose something small than something big.
I learned the hard way about psychopaths.
So I've gotten to the point where I feel like a stronger person.
Keys to me, are (I got this from another video), don't try to burst their bubble.
If they seem to think they're smart or whatever it may be, it's not worth it to try and prove them wrong.
Maybe they talk about that band they had back in high school and you realize they have zero musical talent.
Or they think they have the best career, but they don't.
Don't try and get in there and burst their bubble.
That is very hard. Maybe they think they're an activist or something but realistically they would put down anyone to get ahead.
Like say they say they're a feminist, but then they find out you like Emma Watson, and they're like "you like that whore", and it's totally unreasonable, and you already looked them up online and saw they made at attempt at a post about feminism, and even reading it, it felt like the weakest pile of BS you've ever read. Don't try and burst their bubble.
Get away.
Don't show them money, don't show them plans, or goals.
Don't show them things that keep you sane.
Say whenever you're down you watch a certain TV show or something. Don't show them that
Say you do yoga or meditate. Don't show them that. And they're always in the place you don't want them to be.
One thing I had was with a roommate, I would be like "I'm at home, I shouldn't have to worry about this". Just because you "shouldn't" doesn't mean you don't. You really do have to hide crap.
They get into everything, and once it's lost it's lost.
That's probably the biggest thing for people who haven't learned the hard way, and gotten to a point where they're stronger from it. Just realizing that no matter how convinced you shouldn't have to worry about this, or it shouldn't be this way, or you don't deserve this. None of that means anything.
That one be the one big hurdle.
That and the pendulum part.
Lose something small. For example someone left a USB stick for a computer, and that person is long gone and I don't know who they were anyways, So I had it left out, and this psychopath see's it like a week after the fact, and is like "hey is this yours", then of course I explain how it was left, and just haven't got around to checking out if it's blank or whatever. Maybe it was a free stick, but either way it means hardly anything to me. I shouldn't have to defend something I just left around, but that fact means nothing. It's gone but it means nothing to me.
It's such a small thing.
That's what I mean by the pendulum thing.
*one more*
The other day I was reading on a bench and There was someone walking a group of 6 dogs maybe (it was a job dog walking) and he looked kind of different from a normal dog walking person you would see, and I heard him ask a lady if she knew if there was a "dog off leash" area. There was none no where anywhere near where we were, and it basically makes no sense that someone who had a job of dog walker for a dog walking company would have no clue about such things. But even in lieu of this the way psychopaths behave it's hard to notice how unreasonable their demand really is. After speaking to this lady he said "ok lets go for a walk" and was demonstrating his great ability and control of the large group of dogs (looking like a dog person, dog lover type right). And this whole time I'm thinking the dude is a psychopath. Regardless when I finished reading and was about to get up my first instinct was almost "i've gotta help that guy". Even though what they're saying doesn't make sense, and there's no reason anyone should be looking for a "dog off leash" area anywhere near there, and the person almost seems strange and different, they make you want to help them even though it doesn't add up. That's how you fall behind with people like that. You almost take their problem on your back, even though if you add it all up, it's totally likely their supposed problem is just a cover up for being a psychopath.
The way they can control your emotions over your own sense of what makes sense is another big clue (if you can keen in on that).
Plus everything you've said, I've been gas lighted, hovering, spied on and more! Crazy, crazy, crazy stuff
Thank you so much trying to figure a lot of this stuff out for a long time,
And they always have some convoluted but plausible excuse for everything. They are exhausting.
Thank you for this great video. I have a sister who is somewhere in this category, and using her children as leverage, has been able to guilt us all into her "control" not really, but if you have one of these people close you know what I mean. If it was just her, I would have cut ties long ago. But identifying this has been so helpful in understanding how I can approach our relationship and not be contstantly impacted by her. Thank you so much! Very informative( I've never rambled on so much in a comment section 😳)
Hi @Brittany so happy to be of help!
My father is every single question as if you studied him and wrote it all down -
Not all people that talk about narcasist are right .but this lady is
Great list of a lot of things you wonder about at first, but once you know what they mean, you can keep from being abused by these people. Thanks.
I work with one lady that her sister kicked her out of her house because my co-worker kept pushing her buttons (she told me and everyone at work what happened) she was the victim of "abuse" by her whole family, specially her siblings. A few days after telling me what happened with her sister, she asked me if I'll prefer to live with my sister than alone. My response was: "If my sister doesn't treat me right and with respect, why would I want to be there? I would rather have my house and my rules. After all, I'm not 7 years old to depend on my family. " she gave me a killer look of how fare you!. I know she alwys blames everyone for her miserable life and when I asked about her behaviors she bring others behaviors. Then I knew I'm dealing with a very dangerous person and keep her away from me as possile. Hardly talked to her at work and I can tell she dont like it cause she try to bate me saying "youre hair is so pretty, what you use?" I said "thanks, paul mitchel " and keep typing. I don't even look at her face. She make nasty racist, bigoted comments etc. Uff I cant wait to get another job.
Wow , this sounds like a lady that I worked with at Lowes.. She was transferred in from another state.. She always played the victim and ended up staying with 2 of the other employees that worked there.. They both had bad experiences with her. She was mad all the time.. And tried to control the way others felt.. If they were happy she wanted to bring them down with her stern look.. But I never looked at her when she was walking past me because she would be scowling.. I just pretended to be smiling at someone else or minding my own business..
A very helpful and accurate list of tells. Thank You!
Great explanation of their behaviors. These are crazy people. And it's abusive to you. Once you are in a relationship with one you know how dangerous they can be to your life so you will not tolerate another again. There is more of them than you think so be careful.
Thank u for this video. It helped me a lot.
Yes I was a narcissist and he did everything she mentioned. Lied..projected...gas lighted...kept me up at night...faked an illness...stole from me...went through my stuff etc
HI @Taurusgirl thanks for sharing and happy to help. Hope you can steer clear of anything like that in the future!
What a gift of information this is. Thank you so much.
My dad's niece is a sociopath and has ruined my life. She's spread rumors about me, listens to people's conversations, lies a lot, gets into people's business, knows how to con people, pretends not to know certain facts ,has abused animals, disrespects adults, manipulates others, steal from others, brags about being popular when she's really not (she'sjust telling a story), and would try to compete with me. It's scary and disgusting.
Thanks for sharing your story @Monica - wishing you space from this person and more peace in your life!
My Aunt was like that- she happily tried to devastate my life in every area. I wont feel truly safe until shes gone.
this was a very in depth and accurate description of my father and some of his family members. Much more descriptive then the general things other videos tell you about what a narcissist is.
Thanks @iaJENKA happy to help
You are so right about stealing from you!!! While I was sitting in the nursing home with our dad, my older brother took the keys to our jointly owned house, cherry picked what he wanted from it, and then changed the locks. When he got back to us at the nursing home hours later, he gave me the new house key(?😯😐🤔😒)(What was all this, I wondered back at the nursing home, we didn't need locks changed at the house.... and once I got back to the house I found things missing🤔!
Then my brother (only sibling, older) drives back home to Texas. I could tell you a huge, monstrous story about him but, well... you wouldn't believe me.... His evil seems to have no bounds.
Excellent list of behaviours 💥🎯 having experienced all these and more, purposely inconveniencing you is terribly maddening, frustrating, constantly undermining you and sabotaging your efforts. Its quite the struggle to keep your head above water when they're constantly pulling you under.
They love to make you miserable, put your self esteem down, asking you to excuse your self for nothing just to feel special and so on.
Run, run as fast as you can.....
This describes almost exactly a Middle Eastern man I once knew in London, England during the 1990s. Thank you so much. :)
People that demonstrate these traits are fine and we'll with teaching their children the exact behavior. I experience it to a very unhealthy degree currently. Thank you for your time and expertise to sort this situation out and recover from this encounter.
Best wishes to you @Robert
for me now after 50 years meeting narcissists, anyone who raises their voice or flies off the handle at the slightest issue is the weakest link goodbye
Starting to think that number way higher than 10% cause that is most people in my town. Thanks for checklist added to my notes.
I agree . Honest people are disappearing …..I believe maybe 10% of the real good people are out there .
@@fishstickbio594 I'm not sure what's causing it. But i have a theory its the western society's.
Wow your amazing. You hit the bulls eye. Thank you so very much for sharing this very helpful information. Many blessings to you. 😊😊😊😊😊🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
My soon to be ex has literally done all of this. He will quiz and question me about things that honestly don't even matter. He has sent messages to my children saying things like im on drugs and he tried to love me and he hopes they can save me. But the number one thing, i realized to late, that i cant stand is he listened to every painful story or memory i ever had and acted like he gave a shit only to throw it out in the middle of an argument to cut me to the core and then i can see the pleasure on his face as he sees my pain.
So sorry D - but sounds like you are on a better path now!
@@FinelyRevealed i am going to his sentencing in the morning and have spent most of the day crying because he was afforded a plea deal where they drop all the charges having to do with him assaulting me and he only has to plea to having a gun as a convicted felon. I feel like it never mattered that he hurt me. He now is saying he never touched me and i had him locked up on bogus charges.
I used to work with someone who was a big liar. He always figured out a way to cover his ass. Until he got fired for stealing company money. But the odd thing about him was that he never did anything malicious towards me other than he wasn't available to do work. Also the work that he did do was done to a very high standard.
Narcs are often perfect workers. They do their job immaculate and then love being praised for that. They very often operate well in corporate environments and get promotions. They prefer to abuse their partners and kids and keep the outer reputation perfect.
my last narc was a PT, he would by expensive Geox cycling gear but always wore black, when I gave him £200 worth of hi viz cycle clothes he never wore them & they disappeared from his wardrobe, so his spite & jealous pride meant he risked his own life cycling in black gear, he also broke my £2k mountain bike by raising the saddle too high & only contributed £60 for repairs , he also bought outrageous purchases for himself & kids while they lived in squalor, a narcs priorities are in revere order
My ex narc did them all. But there was one I remember that you didn't mention and that is...they will use use like a bank. They will give you money for a bill or rent or something, in cash, and then a couple of days later, they will lie and say they need money and ask for it back, but tell family and friends that they give you money all the time.. When in reality they took it back every time. And if your not keeping tabs on what's happening, you get confused yourself and just remember the part when they gave you the money and forget they took it back each time. Not knowing your just their personal savings account. Thank you for the video. It brought back memories.
Thank you so much for sharing @blac - they are pretty bad with money all around.
Blac Butterfly ;... Bad managing moneis...Yes‼️ I'd had to write down on a calendar my financial support towards her ,cause she denied it, next time she denied, I'd showed her my notes and she got very upset and ripped off the calendar...
My sister is a narcissistic sociopath. Growing up with her was a living nightmare. To this day , she can't stay in one place very long and needs to constantly be on the move because of how she treats other people.
Glad you recognized her @David - sorry for your sister. They usually have very little stability in their lives.
@@FinelyRevealed well thank you. In truth, I'm many years removed from having her in my life, and it's only been in the last few years that I can look back and see our relationship with a lot more clarity. That's why I appreciate people like you who bring more awareness to issues like these.
BTW: Had to comment when I heard something. I have only one ex. She is remarried to an old school friend. She is a wonderful person and a loving mother to two girls. Her husband is a good loving father too. I love them both and they love me too. Nothing bad to say about each other. "We" were just young, inexperienced, and influenced heavily by our narcissistic families. Like myself, she is the older of two children. The scapegoated, black sheep. Great videos, you've made here. Laying all out in a comprehensive manner really brings back truthful memories of how these monsters in my family behave. Merry Christmas and God Bless.☺🙏👍
P.S. Lots of good, loving, empathetic men and women have come from abusive situations.💗
Ya like 3 weeks later they say they didn't say it
thats all i hear....."I never said that"
Very helpful! Thanks -- more on these people please
Thank you, great video and very well explained.. So many of these things fit my ex perfectly. No doubt someone will watch this, see these patterns, and avoid the situation I got myself into years ago.
Thanks for the feedback bunberrier- sounds like you are clear now - congrats!
Thank you for the fantastic video. On an unrelated note... I LOVE your dress/blouse!!! 😁
Thanks so much @Michele !
I had the displeasure of getting into a business deal with one of these characters, caught them out trying to con me and the whole process of countering their tactics was time consuming, frustrating and draining. An absolute nightmare to work with, that's why I'm here because I have a feeling that these types can easily navigate the business sphere and cause serious damage...
Hi @Limpho you are correct- and they often get promoted, transferred and moved around because of their disruptive tactics. Now that you are aware hopefully you can remove yourself or remove them from your situations.
so, essentially - these folks are "evil"
This video has confirmed my suspicions about folks at work and in my extended family. Thanks
Glad we were able to help Diana- now you can protect yourself!
Being inconsistently inconsistent is the unpredictability factor. Also direct and indirect, dominant, abstract expressions, high level of sarcasm etc. But to be honest people like such personality naturally. Lack of negative emotionality, goal and reward oriented, go getters, risk takers etc.
Thank you so much for the video it explains a lot. I was in a relationship with one and it seemed like so many things didn't add up now I know why. I didn't understand what was going on because I had never
been around anyone like that. We have been apart for several years but I am just now learning why things were the way they were. Still dealing with the pain.
HI @Ed and thanks for the feedback - now you know the short answer is that it was not you- it was them. It can be surprising at the very least to come to this type of realization that someone is not who you thought they were. Best of luck in the future- glad we could help build your tool kit!
Hello from France ; )
You know what? You have just managed to describe at 100% my youngest brother's behavior. Now he is 44-year-old, but for some reasons, he stills think that he is ONLY 18. Well, if someone would ask me, I would say that he's only 8 ; ( !
Thanks for the validation Dr ; )
Bonjour Kameame! So sorry about your brother- but hopefully with this insight you can make adjustments.
If someone is rightfully upset with their behavior , they will shrug the problem off and keep doing the nonsense over again , they don't have boundaries . They have a supply to praise them while they stonewall you into being marginalized and condesend the person that sees through them always has the difficulties with these very disruptive crazies
When a man tells me his ex is crazy, i ask them what did they do to make her crazy?
Has anyone else experience this. She would have or fake empathy for tv dramas even cry. But never had any when I was sick.
John Long...
YES!!!!
OR HOW ABOUT THIS ONE...
U COME IN THE HOUSE FROM A HARD DAY'S WORK....
I DO NOT RECEIVE A " HOW WAD UR DAY? COMMENT!!!
NOW FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES
LET'S SAY N.P.D. INDIVIDUAL
JUST HAPPENS TO REMEMBER
WHERE I AM EMPLOYED, I BEGIN TO DISCUSS MY DAY.
I DON'T EVEN GET TO THE
3RD SENTENCE, BEFORE
THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION
GETS A ROUND ABOUT FACE!
( AND U ALL KNOW WHO'S
FACE THAT IS)
By this time the n.p.d individual
Has now given me a litany of her
Work experience and how they so
Overqualified to do this or that!
By that time I usually just stop talking shake my head& look
FOR the nearest EXIST!!!!
JOHN LONG (cont)
I just wanted to add....
One time my n.p.d.(d)
SAID TO ME how was
Ur DAY?
I was so annoyed from the day before with ( m' s behavior--
AS stated in paragraph above)
That I honestly answered...
" WHY ASK ME?
WHEN U WON'T LISTEN TO A WORD I M SAYING OR EVEN
CARE ABOUT MY
CONVERSATION?
BROTHERS/SISTERS
DO U ALL KNOW WHAT HE DID?
HE JUST COMPLEYELY
IGNORED ME. STARED OUT THE
PASSENGER S WINDOW!
AFTER PASSING SEVER HOUSES
ON THE BLOCK, MY N.P.D (,D )
SAYS TO ME ....
ISN'T THAT A PRETTY HOUSE?.the I REPLIED...
Who the he'll cares??????
IS that house more important
THAN my conversation?????
WELL (hee,hee,hee
I WONDER WHO LUVES THERE??? And again (d) just stared out the window!! So AGAIN I THANK ALL OF U IN RECOVERY FROM THIS NARC MADDNESS FOR SHARING UR EXPERIENCE WITH EACH/ EVERYPNE OF US!!!
PEACE@
Your video is absolutely amazing
I’ve never seen this all in one video so perfectly done I am simply Amazed . Thank you so much
You just explained my entire childish and relationship with my father .
It’s a little scary but comforting too
He’s 80 now and not slowing this behavior down -
Thank you! So happy it was helpful.
I had a boyfriend that is like That! I thought I was great about spotting unusual behavior but he fooled me for over a year that he was this great guy! Then the real personality came out. That was very scary! One thing you didn't mention. They will go behind your back and tell people lies about you.Convince people you are the evil and bad person and not them.This really hurts if you find out what bad thing about you they lied about. To make themselves look good. Thank God I'm out that relationship. But I'm still getting out of other situations with so called friends and family members.Who are all of the above things you mention. Didn't know this behavior has a name. Thanks for the information, big help.
Hi Rosita- happy to help- thanks for adding the information about the lies etc. So glad you are getting clear of these types.
You just described my 52 years with my Mother. Probably 32 out of 35....UNREAL.
Thank you. Now I’m totally armed.
Hi Peter- it's not fun to deal with those people but it's a great feeling to understand and be aware of the situat6ion. Best of luck to you- happy to help
I am 71 and it took seven decades to finally admit to myself my Mother is a very very sick woman and to avoid. She still drinks and is over 100..........lol. Decades of overdoses etc and manipulation. I wont feel sorry when she goes
They certainly project and make u out to be so bad and a thief, its the first time i am confronted with people like this, came from a loving home so its strange!
AMANDA LOUW....
I CAN SO RELATE!!!!
MINE TOO. BOTH PARENTS!
PEACE TO U!
Thank you so much for these videos. I am sincerely grateful.
So happy to help!
ketann1973 - Are you learning to hide certain characteristics?
A sociopath found me and i had no idea abt these type of people. My friend told me abt his background and i had observe he is displaying signs that he is a sociopath. First the sociopathic stare when he met my eyes, then up the time i discovered that he lied to me the whole time, creating a different persona introducing himself to be single. I found out later that he is married with two children. He has that loud mouth when he laughs and he has that anti social behavior all the time. He is always making an excuse about his childhood whenever he did somethibg horrible. Its good that i have firm boundaries within me. I am now ready to cut ties with this disodered manipulator. I heard from several psychotherapists that sociopaths are hopeless cases. They are not fixable esp if they already adults... thanks for your inputs here. This really helped me...keep up the good works.
HI @Ming and thanks - sounds like you are moving to a really good place!
Can you tell me which personality disorder this would fall more into? My ex used to make up things to start drama. For example he would smoke outside and leave burn marks and a half smoked cigarette on the table and say someone was out there and it wasn't him. Or he would start a big fight packing up leaving over losing his suit case key saying I took it only later to say he found it in his pocket. Even though I seen him empty his pockets prior to him leaving. He would act very religious but out of my site do things he said he didn't do and lie. There's more but it would take a day to write. lol.
That would depend on the person- it seems the most common one is bi-polar that is mentioned by various psychiatrists and psychologists. So happy that your story begins with 'my ex'!
Sounds so much like my ex narc "friend"I've recently gone no contact with,the funny thing is he displays all of those traits after just one visit to their house for a few hours and I'm like why am I here?
Narcs have no moral compass. I was trying to be nice one day, and stopped in to say hello to a suspect male narc. I walked into him pleasuring himself on top of the lining of his gym short. He, sadly is not gifted down there. Small enough he could wobble the top like a doorknob. Upon seeing him in such an embarrassing situation, I was embarrassed for him. I turned around and left. There he was trying to correct what I saw. I told him, you know, us males we don't know what to do during mojo attacks. I said, I understand 😉
Our whole culture is psychopathic. Secondary psychopaths everywhere. The question is not "who is the psychopath" but " who is not a psychopat".
Absolutely, positively nailed it. Almost no hope for a stable mind and soul. Peace.
You're paranoid
@@jimmyj4044 Actually the likely hood for a major spike of psychopathy and s ociopathy to occur would make sense.
@@jimmyj4044 There's a test for psychopathy online. It's free. I scored 25% psychopathic and that is considered "normal." Take the test, scaredy-cat.
No, it isnt.😂
Hi Michelle, you are 100%!! I can so relate to you! I was injured suffering in severe pain & am physically & financially dependent dealing with an extremely sociopathic/narcissistic/Borderline personality disordered mom who is highly toxic, abusive & destructive towards me on a daily basis & need your advice desperately! How can I contact you?
So sorry to hear about your situation @Lucia - best advice is to guard yourself and separate yourself from the toxic one. Make a plan to get help and care elsewhere. You can do it!
Thank You 🙏🏽 ♥️
Narcs also use other people vocabulary and/or perspective because they lack introspection. They are too busy blaming everybody else. They use people as their minions. My ex is military and his wife is a legal secretary so they misuse the police and court system. They may not in hell for the things they've done to me. I protected my son, but wasn't strong enough to protect myself. I will get stronger. I always
RIGHT ON SWEETTART GOOD STUFF!!!!
REMEMBER UR WORTH IT!!!!
A sociopath is like a oppositional defiant teen who is never able to grow up. With most of the parents of these sort of people these parents will also lie and try to cover up their situation because they are too afraid of the possibility that they will be branded by the stigma that ended up raising a sociopath.
Very well said so true
They'll watch this video and have every trait, but then they'll start calling you a sociopath, psychopath, or narcissist. 🙄😂
Very good and insightful video of these demons.
I just had a good laugh noting down about 80% of the items on this list. The purpose? To document that characteristics of my ex, a person so devious I'm frankly embarrassed that I let her get away with the nonsense that she pulled for as long as she did (only three-four months, which is a lot less than some, but still three-four months too long for my liking).
Never get a yes/ no simple answer. Always answers questions with, " Let me tell you how it all started, and a 1 hour response that never gets to what you asked them. The long drawn out explanations full of excuses never gets to the point. One simple question and its a whole life story
Good point @Karen Maybe try questions we use on cross examination- closed ended. "Isn't it true that....." They may want to elaborate but you'll get the yes or no flavor pretty quickly. Hang in there!
This totally explains this crazy persons behavior to the T ! Unbelievable!!
Happy to have helped Tami!
Thank you very much for the information.
By the way love the chair spin LMAO
JRILEY COOK409 cracked me up to!
I swear my mother is every single one of these that you named off I had to cut ties with her because I couldn't take it anymore I was becoming a non-caring evil person and I've never been like that before I met her she dropped his off at my dad's house when we're two years old never seen her again until I was 18 then she wants me to call her mom LOL I didn't even know who the woman was really I just knew she was my mom I didn't know how she was until now she's absolutely insane thank you so much for the video
Thanks for sharing @jCook Sounds like she did you a favor as a little one.
Excellent the best
Thank you Trudi!
Its IMP to note that sociopaths/psychopaths are all narcissists
But Not all narcissists are socio/psychopaths 💥🎯
Yup....check....check... and check
Thanks so much. This is my ex but some other people that know him won't believe me. I know I'm not crazy.
Thank you for this video. Not that you are a marriage counselor, but question: what if this behavior is from a spouse? Or is this behavior to be expected from a spouse? Thanks!
No marriage counseling here Craft! This is generally unacceptable behavior for most people. But many unsuspecting people get in relationships and get married to someone who is like this. These are subtle indicators for people who don't know about these types of people to understand that it's a behavioral 'thing' and not one -off situations. The person exhibiting these behaviors is emotionally abusing the other person and sometimes worse. There are all sorts of websites and blogs and youtube videos on narcissistic personality disorder, sociopaths, cluster B personalities and psychopaths. We won't cover ground that others do so well- but just add in our 2 cents where it might help.
Not sure where you get the 10% statistic, or how it could even be possible to calculate. Based on my personal experience, the number should be much higher. Unfortunately!
HI KC2009 - the statistics vary among those who are borderline, those with npd and those on the fringes. It seems that once you are aware of them you notice them more and if you have been someone who has attracted them - that could be why you are noticing more around you.
FinelyRevealed The statistic is hypothetical and does not want to make us depressed and paranoid, but in my experience I have met only 5 narcissist and psychopaths
@@FinelyRevealed I agree for the most part. However I think the numbers are increasing because society keeps enabeling them and finding acceptable as long as they are not the victim. And once we add all the cluster B's plus all the DSM diagnosis's for all issues the world is very full of people that make me just want to stay home and love my family and raise my child in a way they do not attract them and also able to decipher them immedietly. I teach mine from a young age in child understanding about kind people and friends and who is not.
Kansastician2009 By any chance are you an INFJ? i learned we are super magnets for them. We also have a door slamming policy in narcs that completely throw them off. I do close doors on them hard the second I realize. And now that I know about NPD it is easier to peg them immedietly vs wondering why a person is so messed up and spiteful and I have zero confusion because of clinical knowledge. Anywho.. was just wondering bout the INFJ tidbit. Check it out. Might be part of reason so many. That was another aha it all makes sense for me even more learning curve.
Yes I totally agree with that!
Where did you go, Michelle?😔😔😔 Missing your fun informative content and your beautiful face!🔥🔥🔥
Omg! Very informative, thank you sharing...
Great content. Unfortunately the number of ads was so excessive I eventually had to click off and look elsewhere.
A man in my life told me he was a reincarnated king and he had the power to will and liked making everyone afraid of him. In real life he had little social or economic status.
lmao wow.
Is social status or economic status important? And with little social status i presume u mean no friends? Those can be good things lol