“Unstable” - A Ludum Dare 49 Post Mortem
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- With Ludum Dare 49 I probably faced my biggest struggle thus far. See how it turned out for me.
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I found this channel about 3-4 years ago and now I rewatch all post mortems near the end of every year, it became tradition for some reason lol. So glad to see a new one's gonna premiere, I love your content and the vibe of your videos! Greetings from Brazil
OMG that's so nice! So that' great timing on my side then, supplying you with another one. Thanks for all the views! 🤗
end of the year? awesome! I watch them to get motivated for LD's.
A beautiful and heartfelt Post Mortem. Thanks for another amazing video, Phil. Oh, and I want Phildos 95 on my computer!
Many thanks! Be sure to install all the patches and updates, Phildos 95 is super buggy! 😅
Even without a game, you (again) made a fantastic and high quality film, but more importantly a great message about self-care!
I appreciate that! Thank you, Steven! 😊
Long term fan here and man... this video really resonated with me. I mean the state you were in this creative block it's just so common. During the three years of creating my own game and running an indie studio I just felt this block too many times to the point I was literally feeling that I'm going to vomit. Working extremely hard for a long time and then having to squeeze your mind on gamejam is terrible.
Hope you'll be fine during the next jam but I you don't feel like you're attending, don't worry you still are great Phil! :)
Thank you so much! And I hope it well get easier for you too. Sometimes I feel that I still haven't found the right handle when tackling these issues The best I can do is try different things and hope that one works better than what I've even trying in the past 😅
Finally I can stop rewatching the other ones
Edit: Damn now that I've watched it, I'm gonna put this on my weekly rewatch playlist. It's so important to know when to push through and when to stop. I'm glad you focused on keeping things fun rather than churning out a game with no joy or inspiration. Hell, you even made a cool video out of it, which is more than expected after such a frustrating experience. I'll be waiting for the next one, whenever it will come
Aw, thank you so much! I hope you manage to keep yourself from pushing yourself too hard! Stay strong and thanks for watching! 😊
I also didn't participate in this jam, because I was dealing with a lot of things in my personal life, so I wanted to avoid burnout. I hadn't lost a ludum dare since my first one, LD42 in 2018, so I felt really bad about breaking the streak. I've always loved your videos and your games so much, but when I received the notification of this post mortem, I felt a little sad, imagining that you would have made a great game, as usual, and then I would compare it to my failure and feel bad about it. Seeing that you also "failed" made me feel relieved, represented, less guilty. It means a lot, to see someone I admire so much, also having to deal with these issues. I think even if you had made the best game in the world, it wouldn't have inspired me as much as this video about failure. Now I feel more energized to try again in the future. Thanks!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! And after all, we're all in the same boat and share the same struggles. I've learned a lot the past few weeks and especially days about not feeling bad for failing, because there's so much learning in other respects. I hope you can recover (take your time!) and I hope you have a great 2022! 😊
Thank you for the video and this aftershow talk thing!
I wanted to say something at the Twitter space talk but I was to shy - I even took down notes to not get lost while speaking but in the end I didn't got over myself :")
I'll just post it here then:
I feel like this video was even better than your other post mortems. Maybe not in case of /positive/ entertainment and it clearly wasn't what most of us expected, but it really shared some new experience.
You created something really meaningful.
And your cover/poster canalizes this.
I asked on Twitter wether you could buy at as real wallpaper and now it even has a message.
Every time you look at it, you will remember that if you dont feel like creating something today - if you feel unstable - you don't need to. Maybe you even *should* not and instead soak up your motivation and creativity-sponge again with reading or playing games for yourself.
Thank you for taking the time to write such a wonderful comment, and no worries about not talking in the Twitter Space! I realized too late that not everyone would be comfortable talking to strangers (that's why I prefer single player games myself! 😅). I am right now in the cafe and doing my best to fill up the sponge! All the best, my friend, and I hope you can immerse yourself in motivation when you need it most as well! 😊
Can't wait for this episode 😍 so much excitement.
WHY does this only have 2,689 views?! This deserves so many more... I really hope soon the algorithm picks you up !
Aww thank you! It probably won't but I am much more content with the quality of the views, not their quantity 😊
There's nothing shameful about frustration, now with two years of COVID behind us, mental problems are at all time high, a lot of people begin feeling burnout symptoms and it's getting worse.
Good on you for recognizing this and skipping the LD for the sanity sake, better that rather than unstable psyche :)
You're absolutely right, I wasn't aware of the subtle but constant stress of the past two years (omg!) of COVID. I'll see what I can do to counter balance that weight. 😊
The Quality of your Editing with Narration are always to the top!
Thank you, glad you think so! It was more work than expected to keep it from becoming monotone and boring. 😅
I recently got out of a rut so this one really hit home. Ultimately, it was taking a break to explore new things for the fun of learning and experimenting, without expectations, that got me out of it. Cheers to your break Phil!
Thank you, Michael! So I take your testimonial as "doing it right" 😅 I hope you don't get stuck in a rut anytime soon as well! 👍
You have no idea how much this helped me at this phase of my messy life... thanks a lot....
I am so happy that this helped you! In the end, we're all in the same boat, so whatever you're going through, you're not alone. Keep looking after your wellbeing and stay strong! 😊
I always check in every month to see if you uploaded (RUclips unfortunatly doesnt seem to care to notify), and Is always a pleasure to see a new upload, especially when it's a Ludum Dare Port Mortem. Thank you again for this. Soooo inspiring!!
Glad to hear it! And I'm glad you dropped by despite RUclips eating my channel notifications!😅
Everyone who have frequently tried game jams have experienced it. We've all been there, don't worry!
But I've never seen anyone turn their failed attempt into such a GOOD relatable video/film!
You are the KING!
Thank you so much! At least I managed to turn nothing into *something* at least! Thanks for watching and commenting! 😊
I love these post mortems
So glad you do, thanks for watching!
Oh good, I’m not the only one to get that feeling!
Same! 😅
It's weird how a video about not doing something can turn out to be so inspiring. I was pleasantly surprised Phil
I am also glad that somehow I could turn the failure to make a game into something that I am proud of. Glad you like it as well, Préda! 😊
Can't wait for this one
This is my experience every time I take part in game jams, I struggle to get any creative ideas.
You're not alone :)
Also. Any video you do is bomb. I love the editing, the content, the drama, the story. I love to travel around with you as you visit the coffee shop. The excitement I felt when I saw the premiere notification was unbelievable.
Aw thank you, that's so nice of you! Glad to have you on board! 😊
You made the right call to quit. LD is exhausting when you're in a creative mindset, let alone if you're exhausted. Sometimes not taking part is just the best option
Absolutely! Taking a break right now and I can recommend it!
@@PixelProphecy Good on you! And enjoy your time off ☺
A very interesting post mortem. Don't push yourself too hard, we all love your games but when you need to rest, rest! :D
I'll try! But I'm getting better at it! 😅
@@PixelProphecy :)
Great quality video as always Phil! I also couldn't find inspiration for LD49 so this resonated with me. I hope LD50 you finally get a theme you like! P.S., where is John Carmack in the DOOM credits ;)
Thank you! And I hope LD50 is gonna be a good one! As for the DOOM credits, *technically* John Carmack didn't do much game design on it. At least that's what Wikipedia thinks from where I copied the credits 😬😅
LETS GO ANOTHER POSTMORTEM
Good staff bro! See you in Ludum Dare 50! Your video edition is great and nice city 😍
Thank you! 🥰
maybe you were just a bit ... unstable.
What gave it away? 😅😭
Tolles Video! Hab mich sehr gefreut wieder was von dir zu sehen.
Versuch doch mal ein kleineres Projekt ohne jam einfach so zu machen? Wäre ja mal ne Umstellung ohne den konstanten Zeitdruck und ohne Vorgaben :)
Vielen Dank, FlaschenzugLP. Nebenher hab ich ja immer diverse kleine Projekte laufen, an denen ich dann meistens in meinen Streams weiter werke. Aber kein Zeitdruck heißt leider auch, dass ich ewig dran rumdoktorn kann und das auch tue 😅
Don't worry Phil! It's just a proof that you are also a human being. There is always a next time and I pray and hope that that you get your mojo back. Happy new year and god bless both of yous.
Thank you! Right now I am taking things very slowly and see how that goes for me 😊👍
Oh man I love these
I can't wait to watch it!
Soon!
Nice radiohead meme
Thanks for noticing! 🥰
@@PixelProphecy you rock for replying to a 1 month old comment!!
Shame but less shame for that video, but another less for the ending!!! But I hope at LD 50 you will shine :) Its our duty!
I hope so too! We'll see, right now I need to recover 😅
🙌
Have you moved your desk closer to the wall? I feel like there used to be more space?
Not consciously, but it's a possibility! 😅
@@PixelProphecy SHIT! Man we're both on the same wavelength! spooky!
Du hast halt echt PIXEL 1 als Nummernschild xD
👍😅
The first thing that came to my mind was mental health. What about you guys in comments?
Chemistry.
My advice for your next LD is not to take theme literally! Use it more as a guideline and use artistic freedom to interpret it any way you like lol
I wish I could do that but then I feel like it's not "good enough" for me and, well, here we are 😅 I guess I just have to try harder
@@PixelProphecy lol know the feeling, but I usually catch myself in time and I think to myself, You're overbraining it again and I drop it. In this example I would just make any type of game about just anything and just call my main character Unstable 😋
I have to give that a try then 😅
We’re not just here for the wins! No one wins all the time! You show the process in all its honesty. No one can force the creative flow, and I’ve honestly been feeling very similar to the way you feel right now. Thank you for this video. Sometimes we want yang, and we get yin instead. You’ve shown us how beautiful that acceptance can be.
Thank yo for your kind comment, Max, much appreciated. Sometimes it feels like you're the only one experiencing something like this but in the end, we're all in this together 😊
You know constantly pushing yourself to make new things and hating yourself when you burn out isn't a good thing. I'm glad you took a break this game jam that past situation was unstable.
Thank you! I hope that if I constantly work on myself, I'll get better at it 😅
nooooooooooo! 27 hours of waiting!
Now that's a nice present for the new year
fyi: pushing yourself at day job drains your energy way more than you expect. This year was horrible and still is for me. I pushed myself way more than anyone (the company itself too) expected. I got the result, post-traumatic stress in the middle of christmas. You're lucky you just couldn't make it a gamejam now and having no more issues. Relax more and work less and the next LD will be top!
Oh dear, that sounds really hard. Thanks for sharing and I hope you can recover swiftly and find your balance again. Take your time and have a great 2022! 😊
@@PixelProphecy Danke Schön! Hope when one reads it, will not do the same mistake. Including you :)
Another masterpiece! We’ve all been there with a jam, it happens. Creativity needs time to refill. Hope you’re feeling better, looking forward to future content (when you’re ready). You are a major inspiration in a lot of ways, glad you are sharing your gifts with the world.
"A fatal exception 00 has occurred at LD49:0000D021. The current game jam will be terminated.
* Press any key to terminate the current game jam.
* Press CTRL+ALT+DEL again to restart your content creator. You will lose any unsaved ideas in all brain cells.
Press any key to continue. _"
11:38 You may not have made a great game, but you made a great video! :D
Phil, I love your LD postmortems. I'm glad you do them. I always look forward to them. I could feel your pain on this attempt. It's painful when ideas aren't there but it happens. On to the next LD! Be well.
Thank you, George! I have a good feeling about the next one! Can't wait to overthink the theme again 😅
Just wow! Even with no game you've managed to create an epic post-mortem! Great work!
Thank you so much, Yngvarr! I am glad at least something came of it! 😊
Super excited! I've binged all of the other post mortems at least 8 times :D
Is this the next Game Jam level?
Instead of making a game about the theme a part of your life becomes the theme, in your case creativity, and you live the theme for 48 hours? 😀
Love your videos und guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr!
Oh dear, it feels like that, that the theme had taken over! Thank you for watching und alles Gute für 2022! 😊
HYPE
Hype!
The hysterical laugh and giggle really sell it for me
It came from the heart 😅
Nice! A post mortem next to new year eve!
If it makes you feel any better, remember that you are not awesome because of the games you develop, they are awesome because it's you making them.
😲🥰
It's here and I am so excited :D Thank you for finally releasing the next post mortem :)
Thank you, I'm very happy to have released it!
Have you ever thought about doing a longer format game jam, say a week? You could spend more time coming up with a great concept and polishing (sinful polishing). Btw, love your post mortems, even this one, and seen them all multiple times, very inspiring
Thanks so much for watching, Joseph! And yes, i have thought about that but came to the conclusion that more time means more sustained pressure on myself 😅 I learned when doing "Headroom" with Max that one additional day almost broke me, so I don't dare (yet) to go through an even longer jam. For now at least 😊
The unicorn is a beast that can be difficult to feed at times. And certainly, you shouldn't ride it without a break. Just to clarify: by unicorn I mean creativity, by food I mean emotions, and by riding I mean the creation of those amazing things we all love Phil for.
It was a very inspiring, emotional, and deep postmortem. Do not blame yourself, and do not try to justify your decision. It's perfectly fine. We've all been there.
Thanks for the kind words and your understanding. I'll leave the unicorn in the stable for the next couple of days. Or rather ... the un-stable 😅
Your content is criminally underrated!
I was here for the premiere! It's so important for aspiring devs to see that this can happen to anyone, even the devs they look up to. Great video.
Totally! I figured that I was not the only one who's struggling. 😅 And thanks so much for attending the premiere!
honestly i am already happy to have a new video from you.
Thank you, that makes me happy s well! 😊
Well, you proved that your storytelling holds strong even without a game. Thank you for all the inspiring Post-Mortems. Take it easy and do fun things :)
Thanks, Nanda, will do! (sips coffee in the café). I hope you get some inspired rest yourself 😅
You were burn out before start, I could see in you. Take your time, don't push yourself. Maybe you have to quit the ludumdare, I did too. I don't do game jams anymore. Game jams are but a form of 'crunch'. Do 'crunch' drain your soul. Each time more, and more. Maybe you should focus to produce another kind of entertainment more relaxed where you don't go crazy. Peace brother!
Thank you, Pepe. I am trying to find a good balance so that both making games and making videos is still fun and doesn't become too much of a crunch. 😊
Great video as always, can't wait for the next one! (but take your time! :D )
Already in production! 😅 Will do!
Yooo Phil, thanks for another video! Seems like you learnt some important lessons and I'm glad you did. Even though we love your videos please don't pressure yourself when you're not feeling it, like you said yourself taking a break is very important (especially after dropping such high quality vids like you do). Thanks for all the amazing content you've put out so far and keep taking care of you!
Thank you so much for your kind comment! I've been trying my best to rest and look after myself and the fun in making videos and games is returning. Let's put it to the test with Ludum Dare 50! 🥳😅
Great post mortem, Phil! I must say I had very similar feelings this LD. I have created something at the end just not to break the line of my LD games. But it wasn't the same as usual. No worries, let's get some rest and next time it will be a blast again!
Well said, thank you for sharing! There's nothing wrong with breaking a streak, so don't feel bad if you do. 😊
Thank you for the video as you used a important topic : what if your creativity is not there ? why feel i am guilty when i am not produce something ?
As for me i think it was the 11th Ludum Dare in a row and if i look back in some (mostly aprils jams) on it there are some where i had the same feeling - but i made the mistake that i thought "nah i make one of these ideas and make a game to have it in my list of games i made".
It is important to NOT do it. I remember the "Quarantine" Jam Weekend where i made also a really bad game and though "ok it costs you the whole weekend for a game that i dont feel that it was good - i also had problems with the art"...was it that worse ? And the answer is : no. It is was worth for one lesson: to learn NOT do make a game if you dont like what you do.
This creativ rud comes from time to time...and i also love to make games but i am also black out on silly parts like level art design sometimes...in my head it was a good idea some month ago but when i go to the details i have questions like "when there is a platformer with beer - how could the world look ? what color style of tileset, ambient etc. ?".
Thank you very much for the video, i all love them and this was a very important one.
Thank you very much for watching and your comment! I am glad that my message came across that sometimes it's okay to not do something. Wish you all the best for 2022! 😊
Great video man! I think this is an important lesson for all of us to learn. So, thank you for sharing!
Glad it was helpful, thank you! 😊
Appreciated every second of this! Thank you very much for making it. Breaks are vital.
Glad you enjoyed it! 😊
You never fail to amaze me with the quality of your videos and how entertaining they are. Its genuinely surprising, also please never feel pressure to create something for us. It never ends well. Have fun with it. The point in creating is having fun with it so when you pressure it .... well it just doesn't work.
Thank you! Will do! (Or at least I'll keep trying my best!) 😅
Indeed, sometimes you just can't be up for such an intense project, or force creativity. Burnout is for real, and to be avoided.
I've done a few Ludum Dares, and also got trapped into the "I MUST enter!" thing, then realised no, I don't. I now look at the theme and if I have something I feel compelled to make, I'll enter. If not, I'll go do something else :) But, you had the pressure of youtube and viewers. Hopefully you now realise its not your master, in any way. Do what you enjoy, and we always look forward to your amazing videos, whatever/whenever they are 😊
Have you any desire to make a 'regular' indie game without any of the jam constraints, and document that??
All the best!
Thank you so much for your comment and your understanding. 😊 I often have little projects in the works, my Sunday streams are the "devlogs" to those but there are more games I have given up on than finished😅
Thanks so much for this video. Even when you are not actually coding the inspiration juice that comes from all your Post-Mortems is so refreshing. "I am in this video and I don't like it" vibes were strong with this one ahah. I feel like every single game dev out there had to take breaks from time to time, but the ones that can talk about the process in an inspirational manner are rare.
Have fun on your next adventures :)
You are so welcome! Thank you for watching, and all the best on your adventures as well -- with lots of breaks and looking after yourself in between 😊
Man I didn't get notified about this videos.
I'm starting to watch it right now, what a great surprise.
I Love your work.
And finally I replied to your comment! Glad the video still found you in the end! 😊
I was so excited when i got the notification about your video, not what i expected but a valuable lesson for us all. Life need balance but you will stumble sometimes. Great video, great story, great guy. Keep em coming, when YOU are ready.
So nice of you, I will! Currently trying to take a break or two! 😊
just lol, even your Coffee foam is unstable.
It wasn't my best weekend ☕
I can't handle how much I love these game jam videos. Great work as usual. Phil produces only high quality content
Aww thank you! They are produced with a lot of love and care so I am so happy that goes both ways! 🥰
@@PixelProphecy we can all see how much love you pour into these videos. I'm so happy you are still going strong. Honestly man feel to do whatever you want content wise. Your script writing, editing, pacing and acting are flawless. Your ludum dare keynote is one of my favorite videos you've done for those reasons. You've got a real gift, and your work speaks volumes about your character.
@@enniomorricone359 You really made my day! 🥰 Thank you so much for the encouraging words! I would contest the “flawless” part, though. 😅 Nevertheless I'll keep trying my best!
No need to feel guilty. Rest and regroup!
Working on it! 😊
@@PixelProphecy wieso schreibe ich eigentlich auf Englisch, wenn wir beide deutsch verstehen? 😂
Epyx shirt is super cool.
Thank you for noticing, it's one of my favorites! Here's where you can find the design (not just on T-shirts) www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/69746105
Amazing!
This video really really resonated with me.
Thank you for the video.
Glad you enjoyed it! 😊
A NEW ONE!
Really appreciated this one, take care of yourself and keep up the great work :)
Thanks, will do! 😊
amazing video as always!
Thank you so much! 😊
Like even when there is no game I love the video. Phil is just a great story teller and video producer
Thank you so much! I feel like I am still gradually getting better at it 😅
I wonder if Phil will Ludum collaborate again... Maybe with two or people more on the next jam?
Who knows what the future brings? 🙃 Aside from being vague, I haven't mare up my mind about collaborations yet. 😅
Awesome video as always. Love to rewatch old ones in order. I can see how much you improve! Love you! Love your work! I appriciate how much work you put into your videos!
You're the best, thank you so much!! 🥰