How to Stop Fighting Anxiety and Start Accepting It | EP 050
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
- In this podcast episode, DARE coach Michelle Cavanaugh began by saying that people often tried to find certainty or a solution to anxiety by reading books or articles, but she explained that this was not helpful. She explained that anxiety was a normal human emotion, and there was no one-size-fits-all solution. She then emphasized the importance of accepting anxiety rather than fighting it. She compared anxiety to a "whirr" that our bodies produced to alert us to danger. However, if we tried to suppress or ignore the "whirr," it would only get louder.
Throughout the episode, Michelle also discussed common anxiety-related sensations and symptoms, highlighting that these were not the root problem but rather triggers for certain behaviors. She also stressed the importance of not overly engaging with anxiety and resisting the urge to forcefully control it. Overall, that podcast episode offered valuable insights about anxiety and encouraged listeners to embrace a more peaceful relationship with their feelings.
We hope you find this podcast episode helpful.
Learn more about DARE here: www.dareresponse.com
As someone who went through a period of severe anxiety, I would say that questioning the meaning of life (a valid question in itself, in my opinion) is very common while in that state. BUT pondering that question while your mind is in a hyper-vigilant state is probably the WORST TIME to be asking that question! 😀
Your #1 priority is to simply ACCEPT things as they are, which will gradually calm your tired nerves, allowing you to regain clear thinking abilities!
It’s like trying to run a marathon with a leg in a cast. Wait until it is healed! And it WILL heal! 😉💪🏻
Had a panic attack in the night, more rushes about 20 minutes ago, but i am going for a walk with my partner, daughter and our dog. Still full of adrenaline and feelings of terror but im going out regardless
I don’t see many people talk about their “rushes” that’s how they feel for me sometimes , like these rushes going upward in my body
wow, i’m in a similar situation. except for some reason my anxiety makes me feel incredibly heavy and unsteady like i’m going to fall
Love it! Keep at it, thats the way to get through.
I'm so sorry you go though it too it's the scariest thing ever. I want to get past feeling like I need to call 911 when I have panic attacks.
@@elenora67 I get them too. When the anxiety is in the way down I get rushes as well. Like my body is coming down but not feeling safe yet
This is the only way...resistance creates friction that makes anxiety worst..let it flow and allow it 100%..
Wow I love your no-bullshit approach when explaining. Definitely puts things into a better perspective
Michelle, you are a gift and have helped more people than you could ever imagine.
Great reminder and great pointers. It’s all about observation without judgement. When are ok with not feeling “ok” we realize we ARE ok. It’s the
Irony of this disorder. Resistance is the suffering. Peace returns when we let go and just be. No doing, just being. Don’t worry you’ll all get this when you’re done giving it attention.
Thank you so much for this! It's so true😊
This is absolutely brilliant. After years and years of fighting with my anxiety and panic attacks thinking I was “accepting”, I think I finally understand the difference. Thank you so much for the very straightforward way you’ve explained this, it almost makes too much sense. This will be the last video I watch because I know it’s the proper way forward.
Everything you said is how I've lived my life. Actually yesterday I was suppose to go to dr. to get clearance for cataract surgery and I managed to give myself so much anxiety being scared that half way to my appt. I had a panic attack, turned car around and came home to where it is safe. This has been my whole life I feel like. The lengths I've gone to avoid something that scared me or made me nervous/panic. I'm a pro at it and I'm old now! I don't want to be this way anymore....I'm tired, it's exhausting. Also it makes you feel like such a failure. I hide from life...my whole life..now I'm older and alone due to it.
I'm sorry to hear this, but I'm the exact same way 😔
You just described my whole life. It is so, so difficult to keep going.
Omg you sound like me. It's almost like reading a comment from my future self if I don't get this panic disorder under control. Yikes. I hope we all get better!!
@@djdb1214 I hope so too.🥲
I hope you find peace
This video has been so eye opening even after reading the DARE book. Just finished it yesterday from cover to cover. It seems the answer is to just stop fighting. Not a surrender in weakness or giving up, but a surrender of voluntarily allowing and accepting anything that comes to us. Good day? Great! "Bad" day? Also fine, just do what you would with or without that little buddy anxiety tagging along. Easier said than done to let that guard down and just go about life, but it makes so much sense. I didn't worry about anxiety when I was younger, but instead just went about my life... And I wasn't plagued by it. Crazy how that works. 😅 Thanks for sharing this video, you are an incredibly gifted teacher at driving home the point, illustrating it with props, etc.
*Edit* one example I heard many years ago that helped me a lot was to see thoughts as a river. If we are in the river we will be swept away by it, but we can calmly sit on the river bank and just watch them come and go without being caught up in them. We are not our thoughts is a thing I need to remember. To be mindful of that truth.
When I get bored I get so caught up in thought's. I'm going to remember to just sit by the river and let it flow by!! Thank you!!
@@carmellasidwell3809 Amen I hope it helps! Another one that really helps to remember is by Harry Barry. Discomfort - not danger. It might feel uncomfortable, but there's nothing actually dangerous going on. Best to just sit and let it run it's course and move on with your day. Way easier said than done and I'm so far from mastering it myself.
If you're Christian I can't recommend praying the rosary highly enough. Any time I've had panic, by the second "decade" of the rosary I'm feeling so much better. Wishing you the best in your recovery!
I am so glad I found this channel! I had a wave of anxious energy last night which I knew will affect my sleep, so usually I listen to RUclips play delta waves sleep music, but this time I played your videos. I needed someone like Michelle to tell me clearly, firmly, and repetitively what's going on and what I'm feeling otherwise my head will start to make up stories and I'll be stuck in a loop. Eventually I dosed off. Thank you so much Michelle and the DARE team! These videos are an extremely valuable resource.
Michelle has a way of explaining exactly what I need to hear in laymen's terms so to say ❤ Straight up!!
It is my first time seeing you, although I knew about dare and you are simply delightful to watch and explain things in such a fun way!
This was absolutely amazing!! Thank you so much! I am so happy to have found the DARE app! 🎉❤
I have just recently stumbled on these DARE videos. You and Shaan Kassum (Another gifted anxiety educator) honestly should be giving seminars and educating the mental health professionals. I have been to so many therapists over the years for anxiety and no one has ever provided this kind of direct and insightful content. I found Claire Weekes books years ago and they definitely helped (I believe she was the first psychiatrist to instruct her patients to accept the thoughts and feelings), but its so helpful to have a modern explanation to these concepts, especially from people who have been through anxiety themselves. You truly are a blessing.
This video was so damn informative. Thank you so much.
With all the symptoms I have had after being diagnosed with anxiety disorder and OCD mostly obsessing about my thoughts I have tried everything on planet Earth from medication to exercise and supplements to avoiding some drinks n foods to calming myself down every time I get the horrible physical sensations and watching videos on RUclips for reassurance it's one thing after another and right now I really want to use Dare to stop running from my anxiety and accept it
Please can I ask how are you doing, 4 months on. I'm in the same situation as your post and stuck in this cycle. Have you found a way out
This makes it so much easier literally just stop caring and checking about the anxiety weirdly after I heard that it all just like stopped so weird 😂 granted I have been down this road before and came through it now I’m back in the anxiety loop but I know how to get back out of it!
Notes -
1:39 recommending books - lots exist (like DARE!) *but* are you looking for books just for reassurance seeking and to overload on information and certainty? So no books recommended by Michelle. Spend as little time involved in anxiety - anxiety is a doing disorder, of over involvement
3:55 it's OK to not know 100%. Go live life instead of thinking about life.
5:55 our alarm centre is concerned with danger and mistakenly sees discomfort as danger. Thoughts, feelings, sensations are safe.
You honestly have me dwl!!
I’m guilty of so much of this!!
What your saying helps me to be aware of my behavior & now I don’t feel so scared.
This helps so much.
Thanks!!
i got out from dpdr : Accept all feelings and stop googeling
Acceptance is haaaaaaard 😅
Only 6 minutes in and this is SO good. THANK YOU!!!
Really appreciate the dare program very helpful in overcoming anxiety. I would also recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza for anybody who still suffers and is reading this.
You are very good the way you animate, i feel your energy thank you!
I've recently downloaded the app and started reading the book. This was my first podcast I listened to and I feel personally attacked! 😂 Thanks for all the great information.
Thank you, you are amazing!!!
This is brilliant, Michelle is amazing
If only I could train my brain to be afraid of wonderful sensations (😂) and perhaps my brain would give me more of that ? ! Lol!!
Thank you! I had to hear this
So am I obsessing by watching videos and reading books on anxiety and making things worse for myself?
Same here
Really great explainations, thank you!😊
50:35 Thank you this was great for me and 100% spot on
You are so helpful and funny lol thank you!
The Fountainhead is a good one to read during an existential crisis.
Hi! Any advice on how not to react to constant anxiety, I guess GAD, and depersonalization. I feel like I’m just in a constant state of overstimulation instead of a sudden onset panic attack
Michelle u are literally a god send. All of this makes so much sense.
Thank your for this information the god protecte you
Yes i find books and cant stop
You are hilarious, thank u so much ❤
Can somebody tell me short summary of this topic because my English not good
Why is all the podcasts all repeats lately ?? Is there any new ones being done ??
I'm tired of the fear of aneurysm stroke or heart attack. Fear of death hypochondria. I need help
Same here.I don't know what else to do. Not one moment of peace in 5years. I am so full of fear and sadness.
Hi, how are you guys now
Not good
You are a hoot!
I feel like your anxiety monsters impression is a NY cabbie
Hello. I try to feel these sensations even more and even tell my brain to give me more as a way of allowing it to be there. If I have chest tightness, I try to feel it more. Is this correct?
I do this because I’m trying to build skills to sit with discomfort. Not for it to go away.
Or I should say, capacity to sit with discomfort.
how do you feel now
Detachment is what my son feels like he has do you do one-on-one sessions?
Hi, there! Our DARE coaches do one-on-one coaching calls. For further assistance, please feel free to reach out to support@dareresponse.com. Thank you. :)
Hi why do I have strange dreams every night and I wake up with more feelings I am going through dp pr
Same!! It’s crazy hard
Feel like I'm going to go crazy
Sorry but A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle helped me a lot.
Yeah I can imagine someone with DPDR and severe anxiety trying to wrap their racing mind around that one.
Do we treat air hunger the same way?? Tell ourselves we’re safe and stop fighting it?
Yes! Air hunger is just a sensation, assuming you're healthy/ non asthmatic etc, it wouldn't be something to worry about. Anxiety can make it feel like you can't get a deep breath in, but in reality your breathing is happening automatically without requiring your involvement
@@sobaanmohammed3304 sorry to chime in here, but this is the exact question I had as well since air hunger can feel so threatening. Can the dare response still apply if the air hunger is caused by acid reflux, which in itself is being caused by anxiety? Its sort of a whirlwind lol but I imagine given that air hunger caused by acid reflux is benign, then the anxiety around it is the problem and should be treated the same way. Not sure if my opinion is wrong, but I'm curious if others agree
@@littlemisssunshi4910 if there's a medical cause like acid reflux (which I might have too) then definitely take steps to help that, I always have Gaviscon tablets with me for example. But in any case it's only discomfort, not danger. I raised this with the GP last time I spoke to them and he said it could still be the anxiety causing the refkux, indigestion, heartburn etc
Yes im having that symptom too, like get so tense can't take a deep breath then hyperventilate and think can't breathe which goes to panic. It's that fear that holds those thoughts
I still don't understand how to truly accept anxiety. It just seems like white knuckling
Hey, hope you’re doing well. The acceptance part is challenging. We can’t think our way into it. It’s really more of a practice of letting go and not struggling against the anxiety. Dealing with a headache is a good analogy. Tensing against and fighting a headache makes it worse. Allowing it to just be there, and not telling ourselves it shouldn’t be there. So you physically and mentally “loosen”, if that makes sense. And then you continue on with your day and living your life. Once we quit fighting these “enemies” consistently over time, our alarm system becomes less reactive. It’s a practice. The good news/bad news: We all get plenty of opportunities to practice.
Stop talking about panic , talk about how to deal with it !!
Best thing is do not talk , just feel it.