Andrew Vanhoff
Andrew Vanhoff
  • Видео 81
  • Просмотров 1 071 662
Why You Want Them MORE When They Pull Away
Ever noticed how people seem to want you more the moment you stop needing them? Or maybe you've noticed that YOU want other people more the second they step away. This isn't just about playing hard to get - there's a deeper truth about attraction, relationships, and human psychology at play.
In this video we explore:
- Why neediness pushes people away
- The real reason independence is attractive
- How to build genuine confidence
- The difference between manipulation and authentic growth
- Why letting go creates space for real connection
Understanding this paradox isn't just about making others want you - it's about developing a stronger relationship with yourself.
💡 Want to dive deeper? For more...
Просмотров: 2 496

Видео

The Invisible Force Sabotaging Your Relationships
Просмотров 5 тыс.2 месяца назад
For information on 1-on-1 Coaching: www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching Ever feel like you're sabotaging your own relationships, but can't figure out why? There's an invisible force at play in your love life, and it's not what you think. In this video, I reveal a hidden pattern that's been influencing your relationships since childhood. You'll discover why even great dates can leave you feeling anxi...
These 5 Mistakes Will RUIN Letting Go
Просмотров 4,1 тыс.2 месяца назад
For information on 1-on-1 Coaching: www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching Anthony De Mello Books: Awareness (I mistakenly referenced this in the video - but it's still great) amzn.to/3ZO5t2z Rediscovering Life (The book the story was from) amzn.to/4duru9K Also here's a great recording of Anthony De Mello which was transcribed in order to create the book "Awareness". So you could just listen to it for ...
The Self-Love Trap: Why 'Just Love Yourself' Isn't Enough
Просмотров 3,3 тыс.3 месяца назад
ruclips.net/video/DdZZ7sTX840/видео.html - More information on IFS and parts work delivered by Richard Schwartz. To work with me through 1-on-1 coaching - www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching In this video we discover why "just love yourself" isn't enough. We'll unpack the self-love trap, explore why affirmations sometimes backfire, and reveal a game-changing approach to genuine self-compassion. Whet...
Just Let Them Go (I promise you'll be okay)
Просмотров 9 тыс.3 месяца назад
www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching - To apply for coaching Struggling to let go after a breakup? In this video you'll discover why the key to moving on isn't about forgetting your ex, but freeing yourself from self-imposed limitations. In this powerful video, learn how to transform heartbreak into personal growth and find true freedom. Explore the misconceptions about letting go, understand the 'in...
They'll Chase You When You Do This (The Secret to Magnetic Attraction)
Просмотров 16 тыс.4 месяца назад
www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching - For information on 1-on-1 coaching In this video we discuss three important things. Firstly, why chasing people pushes them away. Secondly, what really attracts people and makes us magnetic (if we're pretending that magnetics only attract). And thirdly, the simple small steps we can take in order to shift our energy to start choosing ourselves and being the main...
You're Not Stuck, You're Hiding (Here's How to Stop)
Просмотров 6 тыс.4 месяца назад
For information on coaching availability - www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching J. Krishnamurti - Freedom From The Known a.co/d/j6W3vYT In this video we discuss the difference between feeling stuck and BEING stuck. We explore this topic through the lens of identity, and discuss how often our ideas of ourselves are ultimately what gets in the way of us pursuing and achieving the things we hope for in ...
The No Contact Rule: Why Letting Go Brings Them Back
Просмотров 63 тыс.5 месяцев назад
www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching - For information on 1-on-1 coaching or to register interest in up-coming group coaching In this video we discuss breakups, chasing, and going no-contact. There's a time immediately after a breakup, where we may hope that the other person (despite all evidence to the contrary) will change their mind and want us back. If we're not careful, we can get stuck in a tra...
The Abandonment Loop: Why You Push Them Away
Просмотров 31 тыс.5 месяцев назад
For information on 1-on-1 coaching: www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching In this video we talk about what I call the abandonment loop: the vicious cycle in which the more we try to get people to like us, the more we subtly undermine our own inner authority. This cascades into us both pushing other people away from us (as we no longer have our own authentic energy to attract them) and sabotaging our o...
The Letting Go Paradox: Make Them Want You
Просмотров 524 тыс.5 месяцев назад
For information on 1-on-1 coaching: www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching In this video we talk about attachment, attraction, and letting go. So often in life we can find ourselves chasing and pursuing things we believe will make our lives better. In doing this, we often disempower ourselves and end up pushing those very things we desire further away from us. In this video we discuss how this process ...
Why Your Brain is Trapped in the Past (And How to Escape)
Просмотров 1,9 тыс.6 месяцев назад
In this video we cover identity, story, the maps we create and the way they shape our perception! To change our lives we have to change our stories - the way we see ourselves literally shapes the way we see the world. Our stories and maps are always old, and this is very often useful! They give us a framework of purpose, belonging and meaning. At the same time, our stories and maps often provid...
Why I'm Letting Go (...of "Letting Go")
Просмотров 1,4 тыс.6 месяцев назад
Work with me: www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching In this video we discuss the copyright takedown of another one of my videos, the lesson I learned, and the future of this channel!
Self-Improvement is a lie. Here's why.
Просмотров 2,2 тыс.7 месяцев назад
For information on 1-on-1 coaching, click here! www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching In this video, we discuss the problem with so-called self-improvement, our societal obsession with perfection and competition, and our seemingly endless desire for external fulfillment for our inner feelings of lack. To be clear there's absolutely nothing wrong with improving your "life". But it is our culture's obse...
The #1 Mistake That Ruins Letting Go
Просмотров 15 тыс.8 месяцев назад
I've received dozens of questions on the topic of letting go. Most people who discover letting go make this one critical mistake. The same inner impulse that leads them to embrace letting go as a way to improve themselves actually makes it impossible to truly let go. In this video we discuss how this works, the specific mechanism that keeps us trapped, and how with a combination of awareness an...
Shadow Work: When you're stuck, do this
Просмотров 3,5 тыс.9 месяцев назад
You can find the free companion walkthrough video (and a written guide) here! subscribepage.io/shadowwork If you have a history of mental illness or self-destructive thoughts or behavior, please consult a mental health professional before diving into this kind of work. The methods explored in this video are powerful and personal - and may temporarily make things feel "worse" as you bring to lig...
LET THEM MISS YOU - Stop Chasing and do THIS Instead
Просмотров 44 тыс.10 месяцев назад
LET THEM MISS YOU - Stop Chasing and do THIS Instead
These 3 Things Ruin Your Confidence
Просмотров 2 тыс.10 месяцев назад
These 3 Things Ruin Your Confidence
Clear your mind. It'll change your life.
Просмотров 2 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Clear your mind. It'll change your life.
Identity Shifting: How to Change Everything in 2024
Просмотров 98911 месяцев назад
Identity Shifting: How to Change Everything in 2024
How To TRANSFORM Your Life in 2024 by LETTING GO
Просмотров 57411 месяцев назад
How To TRANSFORM Your Life in 2024 by LETTING GO
How To Get Ahead of 97% of People (By Giving Up)
Просмотров 1,6 тыс.11 месяцев назад
How To Get Ahead of 97% of People (By Giving Up)
Stop CHASING One Person and Do THIS Instead
Просмотров 28 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Stop CHASING One Person and Do THIS Instead
How To Stop Giving A F*** What Other People Think
Просмотров 2,5 тыс.Год назад
How To Stop Giving A F What Other People Think
When Life Gets Hard...Remember This
Просмотров 382Год назад
When Life Gets Hard...Remember This
The #1 Thing Holding You Back In Life
Просмотров 352Год назад
The #1 Thing Holding You Back In Life
If you have Abandonment Issues, this is THE CURE
Просмотров 2 тыс.Год назад
If you have Abandonment Issues, this is THE CURE
Stop WAITING For Other People To Choose You and Do THIS Instead
Просмотров 10 тыс.Год назад
Stop WAITING For Other People To Choose You and Do THIS Instead
The ONE Secret That Makes Letting Go EASY AF
Просмотров 13 тыс.Год назад
The ONE Secret That Makes Letting Go EASY AF
The Secret Keeping You Trapped In Your Past
Просмотров 416Год назад
The Secret Keeping You Trapped In Your Past
If You've Been Called Needy...TRY THIS!
Просмотров 3,8 тыс.Год назад
If You've Been Called Needy...TRY THIS!

Комментарии

  • @CCSL1110
    @CCSL1110 4 часа назад

    I’m all the way from Jamaica you’re the best

  • @CCSL1110
    @CCSL1110 4 часа назад

    I’m all the way from Jamaica you’re the best

  • @CCSL1110
    @CCSL1110 8 часов назад

    Wow you’re better than Aaron doughty wow

  • @rahulshendre7089
    @rahulshendre7089 18 часов назад

    journal is something i'll proabably do this yr

  • @tristan9568
    @tristan9568 День назад

    Something I've always struggled with around this idea of being not interested/ letting go of people is I consider myself a person that cares deeply. It's hard to give up on someone when you want to keep trying. The way this is phrased helped me understand that there is nothing wrong with letting go. It isn't selfish, it's an act of care for the person you're locked in on. This really opened my eyes, thank you.

  • @Sneha.salvadeeswaran
    @Sneha.salvadeeswaran 3 дня назад

    This is exactly how it unfolded for me , step by step. And lol, same 6 months

  • @bigbadvicHo
    @bigbadvicHo 3 дня назад

    I’ve been no contact for 4 years, am I cooked or should I eventually pass by her and say hi?

  • @LaurenSeiberling
    @LaurenSeiberling 3 дня назад

    I've watched a thousand NC videos but you explained this in a way I've never heard, and it's wonderful and I found it extremely extremely helpful! Thank you for making this video!

  • @MaxRodFTW
    @MaxRodFTW 4 дня назад

    Wow that ring a bell, and it hits hard. that'es eyes opening on the fact that no contact and these usual strategies to get the ex back are actually hardcore manipulations. Great video mate !

  • @28_yashjadhav12
    @28_yashjadhav12 4 дня назад

    8:55 damn, strikes hard,

  • @MohitTandel-x6u
    @MohitTandel-x6u 4 дня назад

    I didn't knew that you take very good photos

  • @benek-m2k
    @benek-m2k 4 дня назад

    It helped me.

  • @harshitagrawal5822
    @harshitagrawal5822 5 дней назад

    15:20 Exercise to let go of the person.. Seems Really helpful

  • @Chrissy666c
    @Chrissy666c 5 дней назад

    The fact that nobody talks about forbidden books on Revandles is so crazyy

  • @BeYourselff2
    @BeYourselff2 5 дней назад

    The fact that nobody talks about forbidden books on Revandles is so crazyy

  • @shadowran9193
    @shadowran9193 5 дней назад

    Note that he didn't talk about "men" or "women" once in the entire video, something no other relationship advice does these days. Respect Sir, great video 👍

  • @cowboyupforever5379
    @cowboyupforever5379 5 дней назад

    Thank you 💯

  • @Houkuni
    @Houkuni 5 дней назад

    I am whole on my own, and my value is not linked to anyone else.

  • @user-tk3iq7bx5p
    @user-tk3iq7bx5p 6 дней назад

    Terrible advice. Have a life and make time when you can, period.

  • @yejoonjay
    @yejoonjay 6 дней назад

    How do I counter this?

  • @Itz_N1ko
    @Itz_N1ko 7 дней назад

    I think this is the mistake I did when I was 15. I feel now thanks to you I can understand and see things a lot different. Thank you

  • @SplashyCannonBall
    @SplashyCannonBall 7 дней назад

    If you think it is hard to change. Remember this. What is true is hard. What is hard is much too true.

  • @organizedchaos.
    @organizedchaos. 8 дней назад

    Thank you, I needed this♥️

  • @kadlys1
    @kadlys1 8 дней назад

    Very beautiful speech. I think that we creating image of our expectations about not only people but situations too. It is soo relaxing let go all these thoughts 😊

  • @lee_drifting
    @lee_drifting 8 дней назад

    i told myself not to contact her after we split, but i broke no contact by trying to contact her for the past 4-5 days so i know for sure i definitely screwed up. think im done with dating at this point, sick of dealing with this crap

  • @danielbills4555
    @danielbills4555 8 дней назад

    I stopped using all those affirmations years ago i still have a couple of daily affirmations but i think of myself as a Top named brand that everyone and i love

  • @danielbills4555
    @danielbills4555 8 дней назад

    I've been in Kalgoorlie western Australia for 6 years now and recently after getting rid of shit that I never used clothing furniture and electronic devices I recently bought a black wolf travel backpack and I suddenly feel that urge to travel around Australia 😃thanks also for the videos Andrew

  • @sushantkanojiya7158
    @sushantkanojiya7158 8 дней назад

    oh my gosh

  • @caluchi
    @caluchi 9 дней назад

    Great 👍

  • @MaryjoWeber
    @MaryjoWeber 9 дней назад

    let go

  • @MaryjoWeber
    @MaryjoWeber 9 дней назад

    great advice

  • @junfrias9188
    @junfrias9188 9 дней назад

    True!

  • @irvingg.1437
    @irvingg.1437 10 дней назад

    She broke up with me. It hurt so bad. But I detached and focused on myself. I had a awakening to myself. I learned so much. I worked on my traumas, my triggers. Learned to love myself. Then it happened. We reconnected and we now are back together and my growth has benefitted us now. I'm a better communicator. I'm a better person for myself and for her.

  • @fuzzypanda1684
    @fuzzypanda1684 11 дней назад

    All of this depends on the difficulty setting you're living on. If you're living on Easy mode, you can be a clingy, needy, weak, pathetic beta male chasing after a girl who's way hotter than you, but instead of being friendzoned, she'll not only sleep with you, she'll build you up into a confident, strong man, and even give up her power and flip the dynamic so that you have the power. But if you're living life on Nightmare mode, you can let go, not chase, and build yourself up into a strong, confident man, yet all you'll get is rejection and disinterest. I've seen enough examples of things like this to know that the single most important determiner of success in life is the difficulty setting you're living on.

  • @kuki.nailart
    @kuki.nailart 11 дней назад

    the thing is, other people are still hung up on the idea that if you love someone you need them in your life. i am very self sufficient when i did not see that my person is insecure. i lost him to me being a whole.

  • @dovareme
    @dovareme 11 дней назад

    Was going through it pretty bad, your videos helped me come back to reality. Still hard but getting easier. Thank you

  • @mayankmishra4631
    @mayankmishra4631 12 дней назад

    Over pursuing somebody for them cause emotional dependency

  • @lbiswajit-202
    @lbiswajit-202 12 дней назад

    Swetav gangwar dekh bhai copy

  • @israelb2035
    @israelb2035 12 дней назад

    You just save half a million overthinkers

  • @sebastienblais6485
    @sebastienblais6485 12 дней назад

    So your solution is just “heal yourself”? Thanks so much for your insight, very valuable information.

    • @SplashyCannonBall
      @SplashyCannonBall 7 дней назад

      Healing yourself is first recognizing it. Find the wound. Stop the bleeding. Second, clean the wound, reasoning with yourself, accepting what it is. Knowing you do that. Third is to dress the wound. Practice seeing it as it comes along, finding ways to stop it from getting worse, being responsible for the change of behavior. Fourth, clean the dressings. When you fail, correct it without being ashamed. Keep going and change tactics as they need to change. Fifth, remove dressing and apply ointment. Now the wound is bare and is breathing, begin to live with the healed wound. Know it’s changing and treat it with respect and compassion. Sixth, and this is the best part. Be secure, chicks dig scars. Peace

  • @karanverma4522
    @karanverma4522 13 дней назад

    Just live and let live

  • @quincykhumaira3305
    @quincykhumaira3305 13 дней назад

    this makes me realize i am actually okay, but im trying to hold on to many things that has been gone bcs i need that emotional security

  • @sush2142
    @sush2142 14 дней назад

    So we are not supposed to be emotionally involved with partners? Fucking hell

  • @MuzamilHotaki-c4x
    @MuzamilHotaki-c4x 15 дней назад

    Please reply to me I was with her for 4 months we loved each other but she had some red flags I left her 2-3 times but she begged so I got back with her, than there was another major issue and she argued with me and kept defending herself so I ended it but didn’t want to really, she never texted me again until 3 days later I viewed her instagram story and she was chilling with a guy and than she texted me saying why I was stalking she told me he was just a friend I responded maturely we were officially ended then, after 3 weeks I hit her up to see how she was doing because she was in my head whole time, I really missed her, and so I picked her up and was with her for an hour and she told me everything new about her she went back to her old friends that I made her cut off and she went partying and going on dates and stuff with new guys to get over me said her , I was broken inside but didn’t show it, just had a smile on my face that has tears holding back cus I’m a man, at the end I gave her a religious book for a guide and we hugged each, she even tried kissing me but I neglected since God knows where she had those lips, it’s been 2 days now and I’m hurt but I’m on my self improvement and I will reach my goals because of this heartbreak I’ve been destroyed first time like this I’m 18 years old but i know for sure I’ll be thanking her one day in the future for who I will be come !

  • @adeh7404
    @adeh7404 16 дней назад

    Think you've cracked it. Thankyou

  • @benardineadaa8227
    @benardineadaa8227 16 дней назад

    Your smart

  • @jojoojo8768
    @jojoojo8768 17 дней назад

    TYSM

  • @wafflez8412
    @wafflez8412 17 дней назад

    what do you put in your hair, it looks nice

  • @NumthupSiripornpitak
    @NumthupSiripornpitak 18 дней назад

    This is GOLD

  • @gunjannaik7575
    @gunjannaik7575 19 дней назад

    I had planned to go to a comedy show with a girl. She said that she will do her trek and then join me in the evening. However, she got late and didn’t informed me. Is this kind of disrespectful for me? What should I have done with this theory? Is self respect overrated?

    • @Qurkashmiri
      @Qurkashmiri 5 дней назад

      Join Headman nation - Casey zander