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Michelle Mays
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Добавлен 10 авг 2020
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma.
Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of the Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Relational Recovery Institute in Leesburg, Virginia.
Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.
Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most has Hurt you the Worst and the creator of the Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Relational Recovery Institute in Leesburg, Virginia.
Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.
Michelle Mays shares a message of HOPE for betrayed partners
Michelle Mays Shares a Message of HOPE for Betrayed Partners | @MichelleMaysChannel
Schedule a Free Clarity Call at michellemays.com/hope | groups/hopeafterbetrayal
Learn about Braving Hope™ Coaching Program: michellemays.com/braving-hope
Order the Book: a.co/d/0oj19vY
Subscribe for Updates: michellemays.com/subscribe
Watch the FREE Masterclass, The 5 Step Strategy to Take Back Your Life After Betrayal: michellemays.com/the-masterclass
Download the FREE Reality Fragmentation eBook: michellemays.com/programs/dealing-with-reality-fragmentation
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation ...
Schedule a Free Clarity Call at michellemays.com/hope | groups/hopeafterbetrayal
Learn about Braving Hope™ Coaching Program: michellemays.com/braving-hope
Order the Book: a.co/d/0oj19vY
Subscribe for Updates: michellemays.com/subscribe
Watch the FREE Masterclass, The 5 Step Strategy to Take Back Your Life After Betrayal: michellemays.com/the-masterclass
Download the FREE Reality Fragmentation eBook: michellemays.com/programs/dealing-with-reality-fragmentation
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation ...
Просмотров: 893
Видео
Why Do Betrayed Partners Experience Carried Shame After Infidelity? - Michelle Mays
Просмотров 6112 месяца назад
Why Do Betrayed Partners Experience Carried Shame After Infidelity? - Michelle Mays | @MichelleMaysChannel Schedule a Free Clarity Call at michellemays.com/hope | groups/hopeafterbetrayal Learn about Braving Hope™ Coaching Program: michellemays.com/braving-hope Order the Book: a.co/d/0oj19vY Subscribe for Updates: michellemays.com/subscribe Watch the FREE Masterclass, The 5 Step St...
The Impact of Infidelity on the Betrayed Partner's Sexuality - Michelle Mays
Просмотров 5892 месяца назад
The Impact of Infidelity on the Betrayed Partner's Sexuality - Michelle Mays | @MichelleMaysChannel Schedule a Free Clarity Call at michellemays.com/hope | groups/hopeafterbetrayal Learn about Braving Hope™ Coaching Program: michellemays.com/braving-hope Order the Book: a.co/d/0oj19vY Subscribe for Updates: michellemays.com/subscribe Watch the FREE Masterclass, The 5 Step Strategy ...
Defining the Sexual Injury Experienced by Betrayed Partners - Michelle Mays
Просмотров 4152 месяца назад
Defining the Sexual Injury Experienced by Betrayed Partners - Michelle Mays | @MichelleMaysChannel Schedule a Free Clarity Call at michellemays.com/hope | groups/hopeafterbetrayal Learn about Braving Hope™ Coaching Program: michellemays.com/braving-hope Order the Book: a.co/d/0oj19vY Subscribe for Updates: michellemays.com/subscribe Watch the FREE Masterclass, The 5 Step Strategy t...
Can You Become the Hero of Your Betrayal Story? | Michelle Mays
Просмотров 1,2 тыс.3 месяца назад
Can You Become the Hero of Your Betrayal Story? | @MichelleMaysChannel Schedule a Free Clarity Call at michellemays.com/hope | groups/hopeafterbetrayal Everybody is called at some point (and most of us are called several times throughout life) to go through something so challenging we think it will break us. We are called out of our place of comfort and are asked to go to a new pla...
How to Move Forward in Healing After Betrayal | The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays
Просмотров 1,4 тыс.3 месяца назад
How to Move Forward in Healing After Betrayal - The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays // @MichelleMaysChannel Schedule a free clarity call at michellemays.com/hope If you've read The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst, you may be wondering, "What comes next? Where do I go from here?" Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S (author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal ...
How to Heal from Betrayal Without Your Partner's Help | The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays
Просмотров 1,5 тыс.3 месяца назад
Schedule a free clarity call at michellemays.com/hope groups/hopeafterbetrayal // @MichelleMaysChannel Is it possible to heal from partner betrayal if your partner is unable or unwilling to heal themselves? What if your relationship has ended? How do betrayed partners move forward after the devastation of betrayal if their partner is still acting out? Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S (au...
Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Betrayal | The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays
Просмотров 2,1 тыс.4 месяца назад
Schedule a free clarity call at michellemays.com/hope groups/hopeafterbetrayal // @MichelleMaysChannel How do I reclaim my sexuality after betrayal in my relationship? This is a very common question asked by betrayed partners after infidelity and also a HUGE part of the healing process! Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S (author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love th...
Marriage, Divorce, and Authentic Connection After Infidelity | Michelle Mays & Kate Anthony
Просмотров 1,7 тыс.7 месяцев назад
Marriage, Divorce, and Authentic Connection After Infidelity | Michelle Mays & Kate Anthony
Three Years In: Braving Hope After Betrayal with Michelle Mays
Просмотров 1,7 тыс.Год назад
Three Years In: Braving Hope After Betrayal with Michelle Mays
The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays - Sneak Peek Reading
Просмотров 3 тыс.Год назад
The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays - Sneak Peek Reading
The Dynamic & Multidimensional Experience of Partner Betrayal (Post-Trauma vs. Mid-Trauma)
Просмотров 6 тыс.Год назад
The Dynamic & Multidimensional Experience of Partner Betrayal (Post-Trauma vs. Mid-Trauma)
4 Types of Gaslighting Experienced by Betrayed Partners After Infidelity
Просмотров 3,4 тыс.Год назад
4 Types of Gaslighting Experienced by Betrayed Partners After Infidelity
Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model™ - Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S
Просмотров 3,7 тыс.Год назад
Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model™ - Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S
How to Avoid Going Blind to Betrayal in Your Relationship (Overcoming Betrayal Blindness)
Просмотров 9 тыс.Год назад
How to Avoid Going Blind to Betrayal in Your Relationship (Overcoming Betrayal Blindness)
How to Prepare for Disclosure if You Are the Betrayed Partner
Просмотров 6 тыс.2 года назад
How to Prepare for Disclosure if You Are the Betrayed Partner
Laying a Solid Foundation for Recovery After Cheating
Просмотров 6 тыс.2 года назад
Laying a Solid Foundation for Recovery After Cheating
Should I Stay or Go After Cheating? 3 Things You Need to Know to Make a Decision
Просмотров 13 тыс.2 года назад
Should I Stay or Go After Cheating? 3 Things You Need to Know to Make a Decision
What Betrayed Partners Have a Right to Know About the Cheating Partner's Recovery
Просмотров 9 тыс.2 года назад
What Betrayed Partners Have a Right to Know About the Cheating Partner's Recovery
How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship After Betrayal
Просмотров 12 тыс.2 года назад
How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship After Betrayal
4 Tips to Help Betrayed Partners Navigate the Holidays After Infidelity - Michelle Mays
Просмотров 2,3 тыс.2 года назад
4 Tips to Help Betrayed Partners Navigate the Holidays After Infidelity - Michelle Mays
Staying, Leaving or Stuck? Making Hard Decisions After Infidelity - Michelle Mays
Просмотров 7 тыс.2 года назад
Staying, Leaving or Stuck? Making Hard Decisions After Infidelity - Michelle Mays
Four Types of Gaslighting EXPLAINED by Michelle Mays
Просмотров 7 тыс.3 года назад
Four Types of Gaslighting EXPLAINED by Michelle Mays
4 Reasons Your Partner May Be Having Sex With Others But Not With You
Просмотров 8 тыс.3 года назад
4 Reasons Your Partner May Be Having Sex With Others But Not With You
When and How Betrayed Partners Ask Questions in the Disclosure Process
Просмотров 5 тыс.3 года назад
When and How Betrayed Partners Ask Questions in the Disclosure Process
Why Disclosure Can Take So Long & Why It’s Worth the Wait - Michelle Mays
Просмотров 7 тыс.3 года назад
Why Disclosure Can Take So Long & Why It’s Worth the Wait - Michelle Mays
Braving Hope 1 Year Anniversary Celebration
Просмотров 5853 года назад
Braving Hope 1 Year Anniversary Celebration
Individuals & Couples Thriving After Betrayal: What are they doing right?
Просмотров 9 тыс.3 года назад
Individuals & Couples Thriving After Betrayal: What are they doing right?
The Cheating Partner's Competing Attachments
Просмотров 12 тыс.3 года назад
The Cheating Partner's Competing Attachments
This was really helpful thank you Michelle ❤
Ive fallen down the rabbit hole. My ex cheated on me due to his addiction to being validated abd pleasured by other women to cope with his mental health. Codependency and potential s3x addiction. Early in our relationship, he tried to have me mimic the habits of those IG s3x workers to send to him while he was at work, but I never really needed that much attention or sexual stimulation and I noticed how he seemed to be trying to replace that stimulation. He was also reading a book called Casanova Complex from the first time we met until the end of our relationship. I shouldve took the hint then, but id never come across a man like this before. He kept asking/hoping i was bisexual as a way to coerce me into an open relationship. He never told me why his ex left him, only that she was very angry and ran away abruptly. I always thought that was suspicious but had no way of contacting her discreetly. I'd wake up to him feverishly mastvrbating to porn or personal videos of himself and other women. He started leaving the house after midnight and coming back at 6am. Id hear him recieving texts and hed jump up, get dressed, and leave. It was gut wrenching. Our sex life was literally once or twice a day every day unless i was sick. When i got sick is when he caved and went on a s3x binge. I broke up with him shortly after I discovered what was going on. Managed to escape childfree. He still tries to get back with me, but I only think it was because I didnt get violent like his exes did. I feel he was only sober those first 2-3 months of our relationship. I left him month 7.
Can you explain what it is that makes him sit on the couch, lay back his head, close his eyes, put his feet up and have absolutely no response to any thing I say after 2 years since discovery? I have spent many hours reading and listening to therapists. I have learned how to talk it out but it’s one sided. The next day he’s up and at it , ready to go like nothing happened and I gave him my heart and soul of pain and get nothing. I won’t keep letting him throw in under his rug of lead. It has created contempt and bitterness like I never knew a person could have toward one’s spouse. 39 years and this emotional texting garbage went on for at least 10 years until she sent a message at the wrong time. I found out everything like that. Not fun. I think his addition to her is over but he has not dealt with any shame or guilt about what he did to me.
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/
I am partway through your book right now. D-Day number one was two years ago. I’ve been struggling with a lot of issues, including the topic of this video.
I am so glad to hear you've got the book. There is so much support available for you! Take care.
This is devastating. The day after I watched it, I realized that my boyfriend's current trip is another lie, and that he secretly reconciled with the affair partner and is spending a week with her while gaslighting me! Only 2 months after my discovery. This is so excrutiating.
Michelle do you think it’s possible to heal when betrayal has happened but you don’t live in the same home.
Absolutely! We have members of Braving Hope doing just that.
MEN INVENTED THIS THERN “ SEX ADDICTION “ as a WAY TO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF THEIR OWN BAD SEXUAL BEHAVIORS .
My partner is doing the work to heal but also don’t live in the same house hold which really puts me on edge because my sense of trust is gone. Do you think a relationship can heal that way?
This is exactly how I’m feeling 😢
Thank you for your comment. I hope you are able to access the help you need to heal. Reach out if you need more support! michellemays.com/braving-hope
If you Lose your Intimacy with your Partner or Wife a Person can be Vulnerable to an Affair 🎉or Sexo Addiction with another Individual
What if my cheating partner has a competing attachment with herself? She doesn't want to be married She doesn't want to get divorced She just wants to work on herself and figure out why she did what she did.
My wife felt zero guilt or remorse for her sexting with a younger married man at work until I found out. Then suddenly she felt guilt and remorse but oddly enough she was fine with everything until I found out. She tried spinning it as harmless flirting so the next day when she got home from work I said there's a suitcase upstairs I need you to leave the house. Then she realized it wasn't so harmless and now we are trying to save a 20-year relationship and I still do not believe I know all of the details. It's funny how people suddenly feel guilt and remorse when their dirty little secret is discovered but are perfectly fine with it until such time
9:39 that kind of talk is driving me crazy!
Are you saying “Braving Hope?”
Yes! You can learn more at michellemays.com/braving-hope
❤❤❤
Thanks for your comment!
If you are sex addicted, can you be uninterested in your spouse? Or would you want sex from your wife as well all the time?
Thanks for seeing my pain. Thanks for redirecting my mind to what is true. Your channel is such a blessing and came at exactly the right time into my life. Your words are so infinitely powerful. Thank you!!
I am so glad this video offered a bit of comfort. Please reach out if you need more support! michellemays.com
My husband always tells me that it feels like I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I agreed with him on this and said that I just didn’t realize how many he has and I’m wondering how many shoes are left the closet.
That makes so much sense to me. Thanks for your comment. Please reach out if you need more support! michellemays.com/braving-hope
For me, it took nearly a year. Disclosure revealed very little more than he had already revealed. There was no heart change. He continued to be irresponsible and secretive about his time. Ultimately he left the relationship because the relationship was a constant reminder of his failure to get and remain sober.
That's hard. I appreciate your comment. Reach out if you need more support! facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal
My husband only told me he had been unfaithful, that is it! When I asked questions, he said he didn't remember. . How far back did this occur? Again I don't know. I didn't want to give you any more information and hurt you further. That is it. I suspect some porn issues and it sexual addiction. I have but been able to heal, I am now living in another state, we divorced in Feb 2021. I filed. I cannot get him to talk to me, answer texts, etc. so am not sure what I need to do for my healing. Please advise!
Thanks for your comment! I would recommend scheduling a free clarity call with my team. They will spend 45 minutes exploring your situation and helping you to create an action plan! michellemays.com/hope
I have been trying to wrap my head around all of these things for ten years. Thank you so much for your work.
You are so welcome! Please reach out if you need more support. michellemays.com/braving-hope
What is group therapy?
Hi there, here is one of the groups we have available for men: michellemays.com/programs/mens-foundations-group/
And for betrayed partners, check out Braving Hope! michellemays.com/braving-hope
U nailed exactly how I feel- been stuck for over a year
Thank you for your comment, Cathy. Have you considered my Braving Hope program? You can learn more at michellemays.com/braving-hope
This is so awesome! Great info, and so many things that I wanted to know, as a betrayed partner, that my partner has just been refusing to share with me. Do you have a similar type video, that is directed toward the partner who did the betrayal?
Thank you for this video. I am definitely stuck because I am overwhelmed with pain.
You're welcome. Thanks for your comment. Reach out if you need more support! michellemays.com/hope
Michelle Mays thank you so much for your book and understanding of these situations
Thanks for your comment!
Thanks Michele. Your program has been life- giving to me and my family. My husband was trying to deal with an appalling baby and childhood. I was able not to accept on that basis but to understand and forgive. As he died he asked me if I had ever loved him and I could say friom my heart, mind and body, “I have loved you, I do love you and I always will. Thankyou for helping so much to make this possible Michelle, Sue M.
I needed to hear this thank you ❤
Thank you for your comment!
Thank you for this, Michelle Mays. Your work is so needed.
Thanks for your comment.
Foreboding joy has been overcome and then there is a serious slip and I go back into the trauma response again .
Thank you for your comment. Reach out if you need more support!
I could never know hlthe extent that His behavior was. He hid everything. So, just have to go off of his word I guess.
Have you considered a therapeutic disclosure? Here's a good video to check out: ruclips.net/video/bEZDUWRP_Hg/видео.html
@@MichelleMaysChannel he wrote a disclosure last year. But I still don't think he told me everything
Should a recovery addict go to a beach. The beach is in their red circle right now. They said when they use their tools for objectifying better, they can go to the beach. Isnt that too risky even for a recovery sex addict?
Thankyou sweetheart I am 19 years in marriage to my wife to who I am in separation for over a year now( 3rd separation in 3 years now)your Clips are extremely helpful…No Kidding !!! My spouse obviously fits closest to the Sex addiction rather than just A Infidelity here and there. Thankyou for your information on I believe another clip regarding the Cheating Partners Attachments and some very helpful information as to some things that I can possibly expect to feel which was exactly how I am feeling after discovering many many Cheating times over the years, all of which were Denied…All denied. I also appreciated that you provided information that I never heard before but very important in regards to how the Betraying Partner is processing the issue. We had a very loud and tense discussion(Really me doing 90% of the loud and sometimes hurtful comments towards her. I do feel that at this moment my Wife is choosing her New Attachment Party over me …But atleast the Sting isn’t quite as Piercing as it definitely would have been if I did not come across your Clips today and soak in your Valuable Comments…Again, finally a person who put exactly something very helpful rather than the usual “Ghost Your Cheating Partner”…Thankyou Thankyou
Thanks for your comment! You'll find more support in my free Facebook group for betrayed partners: facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal
Such a great point, the ones who never come clean never get to live this way. It’s a saddest thing. You do great work keep it up.
Thanks for your comment!
Always stay in the friends area and if you if you are luck enough to have sex on many times…DO NOT EVER TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND THAT “YOU LOVE THEM”, “ DO NOT GET ENGAGED “ DO NOT TELL THEM YOU BOTH ARE BEST FRIENDS” “ NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FARTHER THAN FRIENDS, WHATSOEVER “..What I am getting at is at aslong as the (FALSE SELF…(Read FALSE SELF FOR UNDERSTANDING) does not recognize you as a very Close Intimate Partner or Spouse, Fiancé, Common Law Spouse, Best Friends, or any person that the False Self can identify that Your Person may fall in love with and Create a Heathly True Self which includes Love . The False Self eventually believes it is A Real True Identity that was created to Shield the True Self usually during Childhood Painful Trauma as well as care for other things as Narcissistic Personality Disorders (may be more). Because the False self believes it’s alive as well as a protector …it will become terrified that a New Healthy True Self will be created therefore he will not be needed and then killed off or eliminated and then who is going to care for the Aforementioned. Therefore when ever the Person with the Childhood Trauma starts to come to close to the Intimate or Loving person then the False self Brings backs Flooding Terrifying Memories from these Extremely Painful Memories and enacts the Survival Mechanism that Sounds the Alarm that this Person cannot be trusted and will bring the same Extreme Painful Events and Hurts therefore the Flight or Fright is enacted and the Person Flees the Loving Person (Often becoming a RUNNER) and many times will cheat complete strangers , Scum, even Drug shooting addicts to have sex with as the False Self does not recognize these people as intimate, Loving or any threat to itself (False Self)…So the person can feel comfortable with the deed as the False Self lowered the Wall of Danger conditioning the Behaviour as acceptable and Aboiding the Loved one is the Correct Option. Really the Behaviour is a Survival Mechanism to Ensure the Safety of THE FALSE-SELF TO ENSURE THAT IT WILL NOT BE REMOVED OR ELIMINATED OR KILLED OFF. Others specifically the Loved One OR SPOUSE ETC DO NOT UNDERSTANDWHY THIS HURTFUL BEHAVIOURS HAS MANIFESTED AND EVENTUALLY LEADS TO MARITAL BREAKDOWNS FOR EXAMPLE… AGAIN, NEVER BECOME A INTIMATE PARTNER ETC…I made this mistake 3 times and divorcing for 3rd time…Best of Luck
Thank you for defining betrayal blindness.
I am glad it was helpful for you. Thanks for your comment!
Funny aspects about women, i know hundreds of cases women getting hit and violence treat from their huband and they never leave him, but when they found out he cheated on them, they left them. So funny.
Fear has held me hostage!
Awareness is key. Reach out if you need more support! michellemays.com/braving-hope
Forgiveness and trust are separate things is something I learned when I divorced my ex-husband. However, I am struggling with this with the betrayal I recently experienced.
Thanks for your comment. You may be interested in my free Facebook group for betrayed partners: facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal
@@MichelleMaysChannel Just sent in my request to join. Thank you.
It hurts like hell when your partner tells you that you are satisfying him in every way including sexually and he still betrays you. 💔
I am so sorry you are experiencing this pain. I am glad you found my videos!
That part..I fell in love with the person who he was in the beginning!!
💔
Help! 35 years of this. My husband doesn't want to stop. He is a professional gaslighted and flat out liar. I have had hope but it's gone.
What kind of support are you receiving? Please visit my website for resources: michellemays.com/braving-hope