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This was really helpful thank you Michelle ❤

Ive fallen down the rabbit hole. My ex cheated on me due to his addiction to being validated abd pleasured by other women to cope with his mental health. Codependency and potential s3x addiction. Early in our relationship, he tried to have me mimic the habits of those IG s3x workers to send to him while he was at work, but I never really needed that much attention or sexual stimulation and I noticed how he seemed to be trying to replace that stimulation. He was also reading a book called Casanova Complex from the first time we met until the end of our relationship. I shouldve took the hint then, but id never come across a man like this before. He kept asking/hoping i was bisexual as a way to coerce me into an open relationship. He never told me why his ex left him, only that she was very angry and ran away abruptly. I always thought that was suspicious but had no way of contacting her discreetly. I'd wake up to him feverishly mastvrbating to porn or personal videos of himself and other women. He started leaving the house after midnight and coming back at 6am. Id hear him recieving texts and hed jump up, get dressed, and leave. It was gut wrenching. Our sex life was literally once or twice a day every day unless i was sick. When i got sick is when he caved and went on a s3x binge. I broke up with him shortly after I discovered what was going on. Managed to escape childfree. He still tries to get back with me, but I only think it was because I didnt get violent like his exes did. I feel he was only sober those first 2-3 months of our relationship. I left him month 7.

Can you explain what it is that makes him sit on the couch, lay back his head, close his eyes, put his feet up and have absolutely no response to any thing I say after 2 years since discovery? I have spent many hours reading and listening to therapists. I have learned how to talk it out but it’s one sided. The next day he’s up and at it , ready to go like nothing happened and I gave him my heart and soul of pain and get nothing. I won’t keep letting him throw in under his rug of lead. It has created contempt and bitterness like I never knew a person could have toward one’s spouse. 39 years and this emotional texting garbage went on for at least 10 years until she sent a message at the wrong time. I found out everything like that. Not fun. I think his addition to her is over but he has not dealt with any shame or guilt about what he did to me.

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

I am partway through your book right now. D-Day number one was two years ago. I’ve been struggling with a lot of issues, including the topic of this video.

This is devastating. The day after I watched it, I realized that my boyfriend's current trip is another lie, and that he secretly reconciled with the affair partner and is spending a week with her while gaslighting me! Only 2 months after my discovery. This is so excrutiating.

Michelle do you think it’s possible to heal when betrayal has happened but you don’t live in the same home.

MEN INVENTED THIS THERN “ SEX ADDICTION “ as a WAY TO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF THEIR OWN BAD SEXUAL BEHAVIORS .

My partner is doing the work to heal but also don’t live in the same house hold which really puts me on edge because my sense of trust is gone. Do you think a relationship can heal that way?

This is exactly how I’m feeling 😢

If you Lose your Intimacy with your Partner or Wife a Person can be Vulnerable to an Affair 🎉or Sexo Addiction with another Individual

What if my cheating partner has a competing attachment with herself? She doesn't want to be married She doesn't want to get divorced She just wants to work on herself and figure out why she did what she did.

My wife felt zero guilt or remorse for her sexting with a younger married man at work until I found out. Then suddenly she felt guilt and remorse but oddly enough she was fine with everything until I found out. She tried spinning it as harmless flirting so the next day when she got home from work I said there's a suitcase upstairs I need you to leave the house. Then she realized it wasn't so harmless and now we are trying to save a 20-year relationship and I still do not believe I know all of the details. It's funny how people suddenly feel guilt and remorse when their dirty little secret is discovered but are perfectly fine with it until such time

9:39 that kind of talk is driving me crazy!

Are you saying “Braving Hope?”

❤❤❤

If you are sex addicted, can you be uninterested in your spouse? Or would you want sex from your wife as well all the time?

Thanks for seeing my pain. Thanks for redirecting my mind to what is true. Your channel is such a blessing and came at exactly the right time into my life. Your words are so infinitely powerful. Thank you!!

My husband always tells me that it feels like I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I agreed with him on this and said that I just didn’t realize how many he has and I’m wondering how many shoes are left the closet.

For me, it took nearly a year. Disclosure revealed very little more than he had already revealed. There was no heart change. He continued to be irresponsible and secretive about his time. Ultimately he left the relationship because the relationship was a constant reminder of his failure to get and remain sober.

My husband only told me he had been unfaithful, that is it! When I asked questions, he said he didn't remember. . How far back did this occur? Again I don't know. I didn't want to give you any more information and hurt you further. That is it. I suspect some porn issues and it sexual addiction. I have but been able to heal, I am now living in another state, we divorced in Feb 2021. I filed. I cannot get him to talk to me, answer texts, etc. so am not sure what I need to do for my healing. Please advise!

I have been trying to wrap my head around all of these things for ten years. Thank you so much for your work.

What is group therapy?

U nailed exactly how I feel- been stuck for over a year

This is so awesome! Great info, and so many things that I wanted to know, as a betrayed partner, that my partner has just been refusing to share with me. Do you have a similar type video, that is directed toward the partner who did the betrayal?

Thank you for this video. I am definitely stuck because I am overwhelmed with pain.

Michelle Mays thank you so much for your book and understanding of these situations

I needed to hear this thank you ❤

Thank you for this, Michelle Mays. Your work is so needed.

Foreboding joy has been overcome and then there is a serious slip and I go back into the trauma response again .

I could never know hlthe extent that His behavior was. He hid everything. So, just have to go off of his word I guess.

Should a recovery addict go to a beach. The beach is in their red circle right now. They said when they use their tools for objectifying better, they can go to the beach. Isnt that too risky even for a recovery sex addict?

Thankyou sweetheart I am 19 years in marriage to my wife to who I am in separation for over a year now( 3rd separation in 3 years now)your Clips are extremely helpful…No Kidding !!! My spouse obviously fits closest to the Sex addiction rather than just A Infidelity here and there. Thankyou for your information on I believe another clip regarding the Cheating Partners Attachments and some very helpful information as to some things that I can possibly expect to feel which was exactly how I am feeling after discovering many many Cheating times over the years, all of which were Denied…All denied. I also appreciated that you provided information that I never heard before but very important in regards to how the Betraying Partner is processing the issue. We had a very loud and tense discussion(Really me doing 90% of the loud and sometimes hurtful comments towards her. I do feel that at this moment my Wife is choosing her New Attachment Party over me …But atleast the Sting isn’t quite as Piercing as it definitely would have been if I did not come across your Clips today and soak in your Valuable Comments…Again, finally a person who put exactly something very helpful rather than the usual “Ghost Your Cheating Partner”…Thankyou Thankyou

Such a great point, the ones who never come clean never get to live this way. It’s a saddest thing. You do great work keep it up.

Always stay in the friends area and if you if you are luck enough to have sex on many times…DO NOT EVER TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND THAT “YOU LOVE THEM”, “ DO NOT GET ENGAGED “ DO NOT TELL THEM YOU BOTH ARE BEST FRIENDS” “ NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FARTHER THAN FRIENDS, WHATSOEVER “..What I am getting at is at aslong as the (FALSE SELF…(Read FALSE SELF FOR UNDERSTANDING) does not recognize you as a very Close Intimate Partner or Spouse, Fiancé, Common Law Spouse, Best Friends, or any person that the False Self can identify that Your Person may fall in love with and Create a Heathly True Self which includes Love . The False Self eventually believes it is A Real True Identity that was created to Shield the True Self usually during Childhood Painful Trauma as well as care for other things as Narcissistic Personality Disorders (may be more). Because the False self believes it’s alive as well as a protector …it will become terrified that a New Healthy True Self will be created therefore he will not be needed and then killed off or eliminated and then who is going to care for the Aforementioned. Therefore when ever the Person with the Childhood Trauma starts to come to close to the Intimate or Loving person then the False self Brings backs Flooding Terrifying Memories from these Extremely Painful Memories and enacts the Survival Mechanism that Sounds the Alarm that this Person cannot be trusted and will bring the same Extreme Painful Events and Hurts therefore the Flight or Fright is enacted and the Person Flees the Loving Person (Often becoming a RUNNER) and many times will cheat complete strangers , Scum, even Drug shooting addicts to have sex with as the False Self does not recognize these people as intimate, Loving or any threat to itself (False Self)…So the person can feel comfortable with the deed as the False Self lowered the Wall of Danger conditioning the Behaviour as acceptable and Aboiding the Loved one is the Correct Option. Really the Behaviour is a Survival Mechanism to Ensure the Safety of THE FALSE-SELF TO ENSURE THAT IT WILL NOT BE REMOVED OR ELIMINATED OR KILLED OFF. Others specifically the Loved One OR SPOUSE ETC DO NOT UNDERSTANDWHY THIS HURTFUL BEHAVIOURS HAS MANIFESTED AND EVENTUALLY LEADS TO MARITAL BREAKDOWNS FOR EXAMPLE… AGAIN, NEVER BECOME A INTIMATE PARTNER ETC…I made this mistake 3 times and divorcing for 3rd time…Best of Luck

Thank you for defining betrayal blindness.

Funny aspects about women, i know hundreds of cases women getting hit and violence treat from their huband and they never leave him, but when they found out he cheated on them, they left them. So funny.

Fear has held me hostage!

Forgiveness and trust are separate things is something I learned when I divorced my ex-husband. However, I am struggling with this with the betrayal I recently experienced.

It hurts like hell when your partner tells you that you are satisfying him in every way including sexually and he still betrays you. 💔

That part..I fell in love with the person who he was in the beginning!!

Help! 35 years of this. My husband doesn't want to stop. He is a professional gaslighted and flat out liar. I have had hope but it's gone.