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Holy shit. The moment of. "Oh. I must have secret testes...." that's been me for years. I've secretly wondered for years if there was...I don't know, something up with my hormones, or my chromosomes , or maybe I had secret male body parts inside, because that was also my only experience growing up of hearing about a female acting, presenting, and also "feeling" like they weren't a girl, but not exactly a boy,but both, and yet not fully either. Damn, I relate to that.

1:36 I was in high school watching 1 girl 5 gays, watching emo guy/girls kissing compilations on yt and honestly thought I was straight…. 32 yr old pansexual nonbinary person in a ENM relationship now 😆

Ughh such a great podcast and a great episode I love it! The point of movies where men “steal the kiss” and are encouraged to go after what they want by any means was a good point (of sooo many other good points in this episode). 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

1:17:50 I appreciate the desire to enter BIpoc places with knowledge in order to avoid misunderstandings, but in my opinion, I think the best place to start, for white folk who wanna learn, is to meaningfully interact with us irl. There's very few places on Turtle Island where you won't be able to find a BIpoc person. Come play ball with us, or party with us, or worship with us, or spend at our business. Connect with us on a personal level first, then go home and do some reading and research, which should always just be supplementary. Regardless, great pod, amazing guests, glad y'all are still poly! Thanks as always guys!

Grow a pair and be a man

This video literally felt like the visual form of three of my brain cells trying to figure out what’s going on with me and it’s genuinely so comforting to see this conversation happening outside of my head because the past couple months (maybe even over 12 months) I’ve been feeling soo confused abt what even are all these things we are clinging too and how much do i have to follow them or care for their meaning and this video is literally my “lesbian master doc” cuz i think this is where i have always been meant to be to find myself. Like I’ve been trying to find videos that actually make sense for me and resonate with me and this is it tysm for making this i needed it and will need it for a while to fully unpack everything being discussed here properly. this is genuinely from the bottom of my heart the most seen and validated i have felt ever tysm ♥️

I grew up in a country town where I be out as bi at 14. Over the years at parties and just hanging out with friends of mine and my brother, many guys came out to me confiding that they can't come out because they are scared of being treated differently. There was a friend group of guys who would make homophobic jokes that they would say we're just jokes but led half of them to hide their bisexuality. It is so sad that they felt afraid and the need to surpress that part of themselves. Over the years, the guys who have hidden their bisexuality more, I have seen them taking out their hurt on their girlfriends. To the secret bi guys out there, several of your friends or the guys you would never expect may also be bi or queer in some way. If you take the step to come out to a trusted friend or friendgroup it can lead to much stronger and deeper and more loving relationship. I know it is scary but you are not alone

I relate to ‘polyamorous from womb’ love that

Loved this conversation ✨

There's no real evidence of poly relationships lasting longer. The average for both is about 7 years w/ about 50% chance to dissolve for both. I have 25 years plus in the lifestyle and bdsm worlds.

I could never. No judgment on anyone who wants this, but i could never share my intimacy with anyone else.

And we expect Hetero men to get all this.. lol

does anyone know what study Eva is referring to in the beginning from Ottawa, I am studying this rn and cant seem to find the study online :)

This was excellent

I love Millie's hat!

Romans 10:9-13 King James Version 9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

As a transgender man, it actually calms my mind so much to hear transgender people explaining their relationship with bottom dysphoria! Im turning 21 soon, ive never dated, never been loved and never had sex, i dont plan to until ive had bottom surgery, im often ridiculed and accused of being “self hating” and “prudish” mostly by other trans people who dont experience bottom dysphoria to the same degree as me, i identify as “functionally asexual” but i often am made to feel like im mentally ill for choosing celibacy until surgery.

❤

LOVED and Needed this episode after the previous poly episodes!!!! Also, as someone in poly, I must point out: ***CHEATING CAN OCCUR IN POLY*** when a partner crosses the boundaries of another partner. For ex, i know someone who they and their nesting/married partner agreed to be poly, but for a while, neither of them actively engaged in poly due to life stuff/responsibilities. Then, one day, out of nowhere, their partner said, "Hey, I've been seeing this other person for 11months and want them to sleepover. Cool?" This was cheating. My friend was caught by surprised and nothing was communicated about this new serious relationship that has been occurring for nearly a year without their knowledge, and suddenly have to prepare for this new person to be a part of their lives. Just like any monogamous relationship, poly requires COMMUNICATION in order to avoid cheating

Great topic ❤

Another fantastic episode on polyamory 🎉

I can see poly being very fulfilling and liberating. But, besides jealousy which can be worked through, the time thing would be my biggest hang up. Maybe it’s because I’m working and in school, but I legitimately don’t know how people have time to give to multiple people, it’s still hard having enough for one! Perhaps people just need to be in a place in life where they have enough time and emotional energy where exploring it is feasible

Yayy first comment ! Im a child of a poly couple and love to send these episodes to my dad :3

Lesbians are women and women are adult human females. Stop erasing lesbian culture.

I call it as compulsive Hetero-normativity than the Heterosexuality part of the issue! And I say this as a Trans-lesbian even though I don't care to be with men myself just to feel validated in this society or with anyone! I have to love myself before I can love anyone else! And besides I'm in a relationship FYI while I'm saying this and my partner thinks the same as well!♀️❤️⚧️❤️🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍⚧️🤘❤️🥰

it may perhaps be interesting if you had a friend or someone who is traditionally considered heteronormative or monogamous on the show and talked with them about their perspective on the nuances of these concepts you critique quite often. Especially if they have any relationship with the word “queer” just in the ambiguous sense, I believe everyone has some queerness (not explicitly about sexual orientation) in them

This was beautiful representation, and I would love to see more in the future. ❤

you guys are so utterly and completely wrong. The whole title is a complete misrepresentation of terfs beliefs. JK Rowling does not believe gender is a fact, she is gender CRITICAL and gender ABOLITIONIST. You guys are the ones who validate a reify gender, you guys are the ones who believe women are a performance of femininity.

There is something magnetic about Moka .learned a lot .

For the love of Buddha PLEASE don't play with people's lives just because you want to have sex. You NEED to tell a partner you plan to be intimate with about your STIs/STDs because _not_ doing so _knowing_ your partner wouldn't consent to sex otherwise is considered rape by deception in some states.

YES

this one is a liar. always getting in fights then using them to beg for money under the guide of activism. very dangerous.

I went to a public school in Ontario and the sex-ed curriculum is awful. I felt more confused after sex ed than before, I was taught more about male anatomy than my own, I only learned about my internal reproductive anatomy and I didn't even know about my clitoris or even where my urethra was until I researched it on my own when I was 16 years old. I'm still trying to learn how to be comfortable with experiencing pleasure, and understanding that I'm allowed to say no to someone initiating sex.

im not into polyamory not because of anything but because i just dont have the energy. Because one person is already a lot ))

I'm a trans guy who's dating a gay cis guy. What scares me the most is that he sometimes forgets I'm trans and I'm worried he might be disgusted if/when we ever do it (we've kinda agreed to take it 'slow' because I'm not on birth control and that's scary [sorry if that's TMI]). We're able to talk and have serious conversations about these topics but it still is scary. any tips?

hey guys, i loved the episode, thank u so much! i was wondering where i could find the A relationship manifesto, i would love to read and practice it- best greets from L <3

Thank you all for sharing this topic! I have always said sex work is “illegal” because government doesn’t have a clear way to track the exchange of money (for taxes, and purest control) they don’t care about the workers “protection” at all. This is a wonderful podcast topic and I hope these conversations will make society start to question reasons for why certain laws being in place.

Love his thought processes & definitions. Very clear & thoughtful. 🖤

There's a study mentioned around minute 43 that I'd love to read alleging that more men of color are closeted than white men about their bisexuality because I've read studies that say the complete opposite. I don't think this is true or particularly helpful to make this assertion as though it is fact.

It's so interesting that you say that as bisexuals we should show up at queer events to "represent" or "support" the community and I agree. That also means that the gay community need to welcome us, but what I really want to say is that we want that. Bi's want that, but we literally feel like we're not straight enough, and not queer enough. And yes, despite not being in queer community, I did pick up the condemnation of bi's and I am like whoah...this is one of the reasons living as a bi was so hard. So VERY grateful for the bi inclusion, thank you so much, great talk. It's a misunderstanding that choosing hetero relationships is easy for all of us, and seeing bisexuality as a a privilege is so strange to me considering the challenges of being judged and not belonging. I feel like I missed out on so much, including queer friendships and so much more. Of course I take full responsibility, but so much has been comphet, subconscious and not belonging to the boxes.

Hmmm why didnt this show up in my subscription feed?? Luckily im so addicted i ended up searching it up myself just to see 😆

It is a male and should of been sent male prison . That is what you call justice .

In my book, Dear Bi Men, I wrote about the anxieties men (& women) have about letting others know we're bi & being assumed to be feminine & thus weak & how that's reflective of our ideas about women & femininity in general. I go on to say that bi/pan men will never see an end to bi/panphobia unless we unlearn femmephobia & misogyny, & center feminine bi men like myself. Cool points covered here. ♥️