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I have BPD and have split on my friend/favorite person more times than I’d like to admit. The last time was two months ago and it was bad. I found this video then and considered sending it to him but didn’t. I hadn’t heard back since, even I tried fixing it. It’s probably reached the point where it’s irreparable. I’ve watched this video and read the comments many times since then and I never really considered how abusive my words and actions were. To those who chose not to accept your friend with BPD back in your lives, I don’t blame you at all.

This is interesting. Psychology is so layered and esoteric in nature. But I’ve noticed in myself that hyper sexuality and obsessive sexuality has represented a couple things to me., It is sort of a escape from real life yes, but I think looking deeper it’s really catering to an insecurity that I have stemming from my teenage years. Being a shy young man and rather insecure, I didn’t have a lot of the experiences that many of my friends had. Later in life when I found that confidence I almost inexorably became hyper focused on sexual gratification. I realize inside of me every time I got to that sexual experience, a little kids voice inside of me was saying, “see you are desirable”. I don’t think it’s the sex as much as it’s the validation of someone’s self worth they think they don’t have.

Aidonia that blah feeling?

You can be physically empty it's called hunger, especially diabetic individuals. You have such a nice accent.

14:21 My boyfriend has a porn addiction and forgets that we haven't had sex for a month and when I ask for sex he explodes and says that I always want to have sex it's hard because I have abandonment issues I don't want to give up on him because I love him as a person obviously not for the sex I'm not getting then because of my abandonment issues I take care of myself at that point he wants it and I don't

It’s a mind f*#% and highly confusing

I needed this today. I was losing my favorite person to someone else, and I ended up splitting when I realized I couldn’t have him anymore. I tried to apologize but the damage was done. I had to go cold turkey and completely cut him out and right now I am trying to release him with what little dignity I have left. Thank you for sharing because this is so difficult for people to comprehend.

I feel so comfortable after reading the comments I realized that iam not alone and that we are all feeling the same

I get obssesed so fast I don't need to know someone, I idealised or even make up the lerson in my mind completely. I wanted to have a rule to cut contact when I'm becoming obsessed with someone but I don't even have any contact with my fp in the first place, it gets worse. I only saw photos and videos of him and I automatically made him up in my head and he won't leave until I find another. I'm sick

❤❤

Not BPD or NPD, but my ex has ASPD, we broke up like a week ago. He kept saying I had NPD etc. Before we broke up his therapist was also pointing to a NPD diagnosis, to go along with the ASPD. When he heard that he came home & said “I’m just like you now” like wtf. I don’t consider myself narcissistic whatsoever. Why would he ever even think that? Especially if he himself probably has it.

Nice one, brother.💯

That's the way it is👌🏼

You really do have a great way with words. I've always thought that. And your growth is apparent (personal growth not beard. Although the beard is looking great too)

Thank you for creating and sharing.

When people lack insight, it's incredibly difficult for them to see you as an individual. Unfortunately BPD makes people self centred and with the lack of insight,it is like dealing with an infant at times. I think it's important to remember that BPD can be cured, so long as the person is engaging in therapy ❤

I prefer the bottles like that.

my husband came open about his 25 year internet porn (42 yrs of masturbation and fantasy ) addiction almost three years ago. We spent tenth of thousands of dollars on recovery programs, therapy etc. yesterday I found out that he has had a hidden laptop throughout the last three years that he would continue to act out on EVERY day. He faked recovery and continued to deceive me, the family...and himself. We've been living in a sexless and disconnected marriage with zero intimacy for almost a decade now. I was willing to stick to him if he would choose recovery but I guess he made his choice. I have left. This addiction is real!!!

Say if I notice that this is happening to me. Would me saying that I'm not going anywhere help..?

I came to your channel to try and understand what my friend with bpd is going through. I stumbled onto this video, and it is speaking to me on so many different levels! I struggle to communicate verbally about anything, everything.

I love this and will send this to my loved one until I’m ready to forgive. Thank you

For me, I'm working so hard to get better - that sometimes I worry I'm becoming the 'I'm getting better person' so I make sure to also not make my journey to self improvement to be 'who I am' but it's hard with BPD because I feel like I often just 'become' what I'm focused on at the time because again, the emptiness. But I 100% agree with what you are saying here.

I watch these videos over and over again. I relate to most of it.

What you are disgusting is extremely stigmatising. Excuse my spelling. My now ex, only recently. He had a sex addiction, I knew he is BPD, I could always say NPD but I know the difference. He's now from me been reported to the police. Regardless of mental health. There is a point of where anyone with BPD needs to understand what they are doing has a concicence, not just damaging YOUR life, it's other people's! The something they get out of it is power. You have to be vauge because you can't be honest! Just be honest on your channel.

This isn't a unique issue. But it is particularly damaging to those with mental health maladies. It's imperative to acknowledge, accept, and adjust... Not embody, whatever it is.

I wish there was more understanding and support.

My gf had bpd and npd I loved her but she treated me like shit started losing my mind had to let her go, still think of her

"F**k my life" 🙄😂😂😂😂

My ex could take her masks off. She was everything i ever wanted in a woman. She wasnt mirroring or anything. But, you cant live with someone thats genuine 10% of the time. You will trauma bond quickly

Man you just made me cry great explanation.

i would rather die than feel boredom

Geez, this is so triggering. It's right on, breaking my heart how easy it is to deliver from his side, how subtle it seems and so easy for all people to believe it, the victim and the others. So the question is how a narc would respond to a narc when in those 3 situations? 1- i can't believe you are accusing me (darvo = blame shifting) 2- list what is done is not taking responsibility, it's bragging 3- i do this, if you can't take it, it's your problem. The goal is to shut you up and keep doing the same

I've been in therapy for almost 2 years, sober almost 10 months, dbt cbt and I still fucking struggle every damn day. Bpd sucks.

The pain is so bad. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. I think we keep trying to go back even though we know it’s bad for both of us, because that’s the only chance of relief from the pain.

I have this too, but I think for me it's more of an anxiety response due to my BPD - but yes, if I start work at 3 I literally can't do anything until I get ready for work and it is like whyyyy... lol. I'll try your technique.

The waiting thing I think is a coping mechanism rather than an inherent trait. If you grew up constantly being scolded for being unpunctual as a result of time blindness, it's only natural to fear being late. Liked your hardware/software analysis btw. I would also categorise autism as "hardware"

Always looking for validation

My ex does this. I thought she was autistic

I have soooo much inner rage, I don't often let it out but inside I AM SO ANGRY all the time - I have the shortest fuse.

I had this with my last ex and my unhinged BPD behaviour drove him away. It broke my heart and the abandonment was horrific, and actually made me realise it was a pattern and got me to go to a doctor and get my diagnosis. I was so, so obsessed with him. He was all I could think about and I was so overwhelming to him. I miss him still but respect his decision, I still obsess about him too but it's getting better every day.

For me - Shopping, binge drinking, hypersexuality, binge eating - these are my biggest issues with self destructive tendencies. I am going to take your advice with the shopping. I think it often ties with my identity issues too, because I often buy things because 'this is who i am now and I need this to be that person'

I have the required amount of traits of Dependent Personality Disorder too, which seems similar to what you are saying. I am really learning a lot from your videos - I feel the need to be parented. I'm scared to even get promoted at work because I'm scared of not being told what to do, not having someone helping me. I feel unworthy and incapable even though realistically, I am. I also do this in my relationships, needing constant reassurance and care. I never even learned to drive. I always feel like a child no matter what I do. I don't relate to others my age. I hope I can learn to reparent myself in therapy. Thank you again, you are very inspiring to me as someone newly diagnosed.

My doctor told me this when I was diagnosed, that it's not cureable but managable - and I respected that because it was honest. I am scared because it means I have to put the work in - and I don't have faith in myself yet - but I am going to try to manage it the best I can.

This as really insightful to me, thank you. I have BPD and I am really struggling with this identity shifting. Lately, I have been having this obsessive thought that I need to go to church and be religious to be a 'good person' and that it will fill this hold inside me but I know deep in my heart, I don't honestly believe and it's not going to 'fix' me but the appeal is so strong lately - it's been a real conflict inside me. I can be a good person without changing my 'identity' to be what I believe a 'good person' is right now - I really enjoyed this video and your straight talking was truly needed.

Can you talk about BPD and burnout? I’m coming out of an almost three year depressive burnout.

Can the thing that you’re manipulating for be someone to love you the way you know they could? Or is that more BPD? Or both??

11:47 I was legit asking myself why I was obsessing again when I know I don’t want to and that he’s wrong for me.

I would be so much more hesitant to reach out if he didn’t have temporary custody over our son because I misinterpreted the dates for court