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I just had a good deep growl and released some anger. Thanks for this!!!

i honestly cant believe I reached out to you knowing i had to for some reason.... ONLY TO WATCH THIS VIDEO and realize you went through almost the same exact medical trauma as I have... Thank the power of intuition and thank YOU for making this video!!!!!!!!!! I'm also a highly sensitive person.... such a good video. 💔💝

Is it possible/common to have narcissistic parts without meeting the criteria for the disorder?

I found this such an interesting experiment. My parts first showed me being a little girl in my grandma's house and her telling me stories of the poverty of her parents and her difficult childhood and how she had to work before school scrubbing the doorsteps of rich families. There seemed both pride and shame around being poor, which puzzled me. There seemed to be an abundance of love from her and my mum, but it came with conditions. She was always asking me who I loved most, her or my mum and I also felt that I had to somehow provide the abundance they had lacked in their childhood. I used to worry a lot that I didn't help them enough or make them happy - I had parts that believed my survival depended on this. Then that part took me to my adolescence when my mother had moved in with my abusive step-father who she supported financially for years. I was shown scenes of scarcity of warmth and hot water at that time along with a scarcity of metaphorical warmth toward me from my mum because she was in survival mode, I now realise. I felt all kinds of chills in my body. I also felt a scarcity of protection and safety and a scarcity of being seen by my mum, but a need, a desire not to be seen by my step-father. There was also a scarcity of truth at this time, as I had to keep lots of secrets.

So interesting to me. I realize that cultural burdens have been a huge source of suffering for me. As an illegitimate child in the 1950s, with a mother from the working class (class divisions are still massive in the UK) and a father who was not able to acknowledge me because he was married to someone else and he was a member of the Jewish community have resulted in so many burdened parts. I have outsider parts who feel they belong to no tradition - religious, social or whatever and others that have tried desperately to prove they belong by people pleasing and striving for educational achievement. I don't know about your culture, but in the UK education was an escape often from lower class limitations. We talk of social mobility through education. My culture told me education would bring happiness, which in some ways it did and does, but it did not release burdens - I found new burdens while all the old ones remained.

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I was struggling to picture the white room - the wall in front of me seemed to be "open". Then I realised I was looking at the living room of my childhood home. It had sliding doors, which were almost always open. I was shown the words "that's a wicked waste!" which my mum used to say a lot, and her parents too. Then I saw myself sitting on my dad's knee and thought "there was an abundance of love" - I was lucky. However in the area where I grew up there were strong feelings of inverted snobbery, a dislike and distrust of anyone wealthy. When my parents built a bigger house I felt a bit embarrassed as well as excited, and my younger sister even more so. We got over it! This was what my parts reminded me of.

Thanks, Christine. I had a very difficult ER experience come up - being in excruciating pain with 2 stuck kidney stones, and hearing laughing nurses with no one checking on me. I’m looking forward to more of this workshop. - ❤Gracie

I am a therapist working in an in-patient setting in a hospital ( psychiatric unit) . It is quite challenging to find a quiet space here that is uninterrupted but I use IFS where possible and I was quite blessed to work with two pts where we were able to unburden their suicide part and they reported they felt their SI had ended. I continue to study and am including the generational and cultural burdens now as well, but am not so experienced yet so your video here was very helpful... I believe IFS has found its way into grad school programs to at least mention it as a recognized therapeutic model.. very encouraging.... !!

wow !! excellent work... ! I learned so much by your method... This was very instructional.... many thanks for this work and your vulnerability...

Thank you 💙

Thanks Christine loved the way you teach...the part of me who struggled educationally..whom ive named Osmosis...as this is how i realised i learn not by rote...or traditional english education in the 70s...its taken me many decades to realise this ...and unburden my... thicko...part...my cultural burden ... ❤

It's wonderful to see and hear you. I can relate to your example of shaving your legs ❤

Really enjoyed this video. I particularly liked the story of the monks and the cat - so many cultural burdens are like that, aren't they - so lost in the mists of time that we don't question why we do this now meaningless ritual? My grandmother was terribly superstitious to the point of being what I now recognise as OCD, but that was her survival, her way of feeling she had some power over an often - to her - meaningless world. Just do this ritual and you will be safe. I also really liked the poster observation. So often things like this are 'the air we breathe' and it does take fresh eyes to help us see what has been hiding from us in plain sight, unquestioned in our culture so that it often becomes what we think of as common sense like when I was a child the idea of having a female prime minister would have seemed ridiculous. Women don't do that - even though in the UK we had a Queen. I guess we had a female prime minister eventually in Margaret Thatcher, but patriarchy is still very much alive in politics even so.

Thank you, thank you! I very much appreciate your style and your energy.

I can’t thank you enough for this video. My aunt is well versed in IFS and I called her yesterday to admit that I was experiencing a pretty severe crisis. She explained a lot of what you just shared and sent me your video. I’m hoping that my curious parts are strong enough to research further and keep this suicidal part from succeeding.

Sounds great. Tammy interviewed her on the One Inside and she gave a live meditation. I found it very meaningful. Is her book mostly about healing with ancestors or is a good part of it about regular parts work? Thanks.

Christine....you look so so well ...Ecuador is suiting you ...glad your able to take some time for you xx

Thank you Christine 💕

You do a great job describing parts. Keep up the great work.

You are doing a great job, Christine. Everyone can benefit from knowing about parts work.

Christine- Thanks for all that you do. So much of what you share resonates deeply. ❤

Greetings, Christine! Wonderful that you're getting to be in such a lush and lovely place for a while. Thank you for inviting us along. And thank you for introducing me to Tamala's book. I added it to my reading/listening queue. Be well. Be calm. Be equanimous. Cheers!

I so deeply appreciate you and all your parts and ancestors too. I had an excited part to see this video pop up and see you doing well ! Fascinating book and really inspires many of my own parts that feel lack and incapable of accomplishing my own “goals” (write a book). To remind them my own ancestors including Dalton speaks to them (my parts) in so many magical ways. They are always supporting my inner world to be True to all that I am! Look forward to hearing more of this book. - in gratitude 💛 Heather

Clark Scott Johnson Frank Rodriguez Nancy

Thank you for sharing, IFS is such a beautiful therapy model.

Thank you for sharing this

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It really does make sense. Ty❤

Great video. Thank you for sharing and putting together this content. Good timing for this video - had a stressful morning supporting my daughter through a tantrum, my husband took my kids to a family friends birthday and was going to follow after a few min. Decided I needed to calm down so watched this show. It was a good opportunity to watch for way longer than I expected before leaving. Nice to listen to the part of myself that needed to calm down and recognize others that wanted me to get to the party cause the friends and family expect me. I am calmer now so going to party!

Hi Christine, I think there are certain types of psychoses i.e Brief Psychotic Disorder and PTSD with Psychosis that fit the framework you provide here, but they are actually not schizophrenia. We tend to overdiagnose and label any psychosis as schizophrenia in America which really frustrates European researchers studying schizophrenia because of the conflation of different disorders with different prognoses. There are situations in which trauma can become so extreme the person suffering with the trauma begins to show psychotic symptoms, but that person does not necessarily meet the DSM V criteria for schizophrenia. This situation only meets the definition of schizophrenia when the person has delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, catatonic behaviors or negative symptoms of avolition continuously for at least 6 months. Flourid psychosis may be only a month, but the person would continue to have two or more of delusions, hallucinations, disorganzied speech, flat affect, avolitionand major disturbances in interpersonal relating, self-care, and ability to work. If the major symptomatology does not last 6 months (chronic schizophrenia generally lasts Much longer and involves 2 symptoms or more of delusions, hallucinations etc) then the person has had an acute psychotic episode which is serious, but very different from schizophenia. Schizophrenia, particularly cases of severe schizophrenia, have a long slow onset called the prodromal phase that lasts many years. The person does not suddenly become ill, even if they suddenly become flouridly pscyhotic, they have been ill with symptoms much longer . With schizophrenia there is often a genetic component and there may be no history at all of childhood trauma. I recommend reading "HIdden Vally Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family" by Robert Kolker. (Also a series on HBO MAX). This tells the story of a family with 10 sons and 2 daughters. Six of the 10 sons have schizophrenia. All of the 6 sons who had schizophrenia have one (the same one) of the genes identified as an indicator of schizophrenia. The book extensively explains the research connected with the biological aspects of the disease schizophrenia. If correctly diagnosed, it is a true phyisological (neurobiological) pathology, unfortunately. Even so, Dick Schwartz suggests that many people with schizophrenia can talk with and positively influence the parts of themselves that sometimes will trigger psychotic episodes and thus can work with their system to keep that aspect of schizophrenia to a minimum. (See Stephanie Mitchell's RUclips Interview with DIck Schwartz regarding IFS and Psychosis, ruclips.net/video/1X-m9h4SIf4/видео.html. A person with more severe schizophrenia, who receives IFS treatment may still have many aspects of schizophrenia their whole lives, even if they can keep themselves from becoming psychotic much of the time by connecting more directly with their parts. And some people have schizoaffective disorder which is a much milder version of schizophrenia with affective symptoms ( schizophrenia is a cognitive disorder) or they may have psychosis due to extreme trauma and may or may not have schizophrenia as well. Those diagnoses have a much more positive treatment outcome. IFS is helpful with most systems, even for those with biologically based schizophrenia.

That's very clever of your husband to tell your pleasing parts how pleased he will be by being able to help you! Thank you again for sharing the responses of your parts. I can relate to them (to a certain extent), so it's comforting to know I'm not the only one struggling with these problems. I had an image of my trauma part with her arms stretched out to the world, begging to be loved. And she was turned face outwards because she believed all the bad things I was told - you're an evil child, you're bad, lazy, ungrateful, shameful, stupid, selfish, and so on. That made it impossible for her to turn to Self. But now, I am asking her to gradually turn around again, so we can look at these characteristics. Am I evil, bad, lazy, and so on? So, we are debunking some mythical inner critics, which has a huge impact. I am starting to feel more at ease with myself, I am more relaxed, and cheerful and I have a bit more energy. I am so grateful. But a big help has been that I have broken with my toxic family and friends. So, what you say about how you sometimes need to create distance in certain relationships is very true. I wish you and your family a wonderful time in beautiful Ecuador!

Sorry to hear of all your digestive traumas! I had very similar trouble in the late 1990s after travelling round the world, but without the panic attacks - which sound very distressing. I eventually found out that I'd developed an intolerance to cow's milk - once I cut that out, all my symptoms went away. I now think this intolerance was triggered by several strong doses of antibiotics. I'm not against antibiotics but I won't take them now unless there is absolutely no alternative. About 10 years ago I got heavily into raw food, although I didn't go vegan. I loved it at the time, but I met several people who had very rigid ideas about food and eating. I tried high fat low carb for a while too, but eventually came to the same conclusion that I think you have - I now completely avoid micro-managing my food. Most of my food is just good home cooking, and most of it comes from an organic veg box delivery. I still avoid cow's milk though.

I still struggle with the "Meat Paradox."

Hi Christine! I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. My heart goes out to you and I relate. 💗I enjoyed hearing about the things that have been working for you and your sample size of one! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It was like having a chance to hang out with you and catch up. I’ve missed you. Sending love and hugs. 💙💙

Thank you for sharing this very personal and vulnerable story. N=1, I like that a lot. Food is such an essential part of our life, so it's very interesting to hear about your experience. I would love to hear more about your findings in how to listen to your body, or the parts that are directly connected to the needs of your body. I think you are a wonderful woman warrior! ❤

You are the most amazing person I know!!! Thank you for being. :-)

Hi ​@theordinarysacred6664 , love how you breakdown exmaples and explain schizo for IFS! can you do one for peter pan adult child with hallmark character of underdeveloped personalities (with binge or disordered eating tendencies)? i believe theres some group that can benefit from this as well. tyvm in adavnce! 🙏

I listened to this video six times after reading the book. You have done an excellent job explaining what is a very elegant model on shame

My firefighters are loving your absolutely fantastic t-shirt “Heavily Medicated” … it’s nice to have options! 🫶🏻

Thank you

So great to see you again and hope the trip does it's healing magic for you. Your work is so valuable for the world!

“The goal of the Self is never to get another part to change. Never.” Instead, as you say, Self would say, “You’re the boss (the target part) and you can keep on doing what you do, until you feel naturally safe enough to relax.” Such helpful guideposts for assessing whether we’re in Self energy. Thank you for everything you do, Christine. ❤❤❤❤❤

I could relate to this example. My critic can be hurtful to other parts if they are not perfect at parties.

Firstly, thank-you Christine, for giving a spoken annotated-reading of Martha's crucial book. Ironically, I'm embarrassed that I didnt ever truly understand what shame was - and what it might mean for someone living such a life in the aftermath of childhood abuse - until recently. Your content really helps.

Wonderful 👍 So helpful for me

Sam Vaknin says, that IFS can't work for NPD because narcisssist doesn't have a Self. And cannot have and the NPD will remain. What do you think about that? Is it possible that some one doesn't have a Self? Thanks

I'm wondering what is the difference between one of my parts being triggered by someone's part, as you said, that is useful and the other's behaviour that is hurtful, that I can't be in relationship with. (Even though the intention of that part of the other person is to protect them). And how do I know if it is the Self thinks it is hurting or one of my part hurting and overreacting? Or if I would think differently then I will feel differently as I am responsible for my own emotions. The other person can also turn it round and say that. Thank you

"It's a Self-like part that thinks you need to respond perfectly. Remember, it's Self AND parts, not Self OR parts. All the time." I hope you know how powerful this realization is for me this morning. Thank you Christine!!

I want to thank you for your videos they help me a lot! Sometimes I have difficulty distinguishing in a client whether a part it's a protector or an exile, since they can both suffer.