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4:58 I had to switch seats with another kid in 5th grade from the desk I’d been using for half the year and I dead ass cried for 10 mins .

Interruptions? What interruptions? I make sure to just not be interrupted, because they’re not an acceptable part of my day ;-;

Are we the same person??!!?.. I should go get screened.

You probably don’t experience it but we can throw in visual snow as one of the medical conditions 😂

love the Tina Turner biography

I think Im quite obsessed with Julian Casablancas

Meanwhile? My hyper fixational hobbies were and still are ones like Star wars/Transformers/Pokemon (Mainly all male fandoms) Cosplay, Art and craft, Animals and alternative fashion. I was diagnosed at 7 but was noticed around 4 to be smarter and slightly more different in my behaviours. I had only one best friend (now very much an Ex one due to toxicity on her end.) who used to be very similar to me (She was also autistic yet I now fully suspect she was slightly lower functioning emotionally etc.) Now? I have no friends and massive amounts of traumatic trust issues. I have made a few acquaintances and I am grateful for that, yet I am still very very much guarded. I never mask/camouflage. I never have. I do what's called : "Honest Mixing, Matching and mirroring." Basically, put very very simply : I authentically intermingle with people on a surface level and allow the conversation to flow instinctively. If the person I am talking with shows genuine intent and interest? I match that exact level I detect right back. If they end up projecting passive aggressive fake reactions etc? I simply match such behaviours right back at them with the same level that they are dealing me. It is reflecting as a clear warning to deflect those who you know deep down are complete assholes. I don't have the tolerance to such people. Mirroring these people's shitty behaviours is the best manner to make them realise that you're onto their crap and that you know exactly how to convey that you're not going to stand back and put up with such crap. I care not if they think I am an asshole. They're mainly too stupid to do some self reflection of their own to fix their own behaviours and I hold no care in the world to what they think of me. It may come off as intimidating to some and insanely rude to others... but again? That is their perception and theirs alone. I don't care. I will forever use my method to instinctively determine who deserves to be in my life and who can abruptly take a hike from my life. Simple as that. Sorry not ever sorry. There is no such thing as normal... only what society generally accepts as normality. Stimming wise? The only two I'd say I have developed is Swinging at night at my local park with music and 10 Pin Bowling. (Which don't come across as overly odd.) I never really figured my love for swinging was a stimming method until fairly recently and have been going at night/early morning to avoid any negative reactions from people. (due to having some in the past.. one of which had the police involved after a mother of a young child assaulted me one afternoon whilst I was trying to emotionally regulate. Big mistake on her part... She got charged.) Her daughter also targeted me one morning before school and found out the damn hard way that she should have just buggered off and left me the hell alone. (Chased her from the park, across the main road and bashed her head in with a metal drink bottle.) The police around my local area know me well enough and my diagnosis... Knew that I had no prior issues with the law at all and sided with me promptly. no charges were ever even filed. The daughter however, got charges laid on her due to her mother's pervious behaviour. (The shitty family eventually pissed off out of the area and I have had no issues since.) 10 pin bowling is a manner of which I can hit things without becoming a criminal in any capacity. It allows me to de stress and is very effective in managing any anger I end up holding onto for any reasons. Time management, setting/starting/finishing/organising tasks has come leaps and bounds due to my mother. She is a very organised person by nature and has assisted me in learning key strategies that work for me on how to achieve and maintain routines and goals etc. They do sometimes fluctuate and we all have our organised and disorganised days. (Mine is mainly due to depression/loneliness and a lack of purpose in life still. but I am a hell of a lot better with bouncing back and continuing to try none the less.) It is not about being perfect all the time. It is about aiming to be as consistent with such as one can as life rolls on. I don't really experience much in the way of sensory issues. Some loud noises annoy me at certain times (to which I listen to music mostly to counter such.) Yet I have no issues with lighting or crowds (unless I really feel like I am unable to gain some form of space after hours and hours in said crowds.) Same goes for touch. If someone accidently knocks into me and apologises? No issue. If someone does so and doesn't? My personality labels that person an asshole. My diet is shocking by most standards, But I still hold the possibilities of trying new foods as long as it is on my terms and I am not pressured into doing so. I do have comfort foods.(don't we all?) and am not under any pressure to appease others to broaden my diet in any manner. again, Sorry not sorry. Insomnia is something I still struggle with (due to depressive rumination etc.) But again, It fluctuates depending on the situation. I used to work overnight shifts in aged care as an AIN by choice. I enjoyed it 10 times more because I didn't have to put up with a whole lot of worker interactions etc. I figured.. well? May as well get paid for some of the traits of my depressive state... and it could evolve into a sense of positive purpose in the end. (It did.. but it alone wasn't enough to give me the strength/tolerance to remain in such a failing industry. Never will go back.) I don't put pressure on myself anymore and just convey how raw the emotional effects are.. then deal with it accordingly. Meltdowns and the like? You will know about it fully if and when I get pushed to the brink. My parents know it all too well.. But I have my Dalmatian Perdita who helps calm me down instinctively and I have my local park to swing at to do so too... It is rare that I fully blow... The last time I did? I had just been discharged from hospital (recovering from a spontaneous pneumothorax((would not recommend! It is not fun at all!! Thankfully? It re inflated on it's own and has not occurred again since.)) Happened when I was swinging one night.) My mother and I decided to stop in at the local supermarket to get some food. I am there pushing the trolley, stooping now and again to pick up and place items in etc... when a woman in her 40's/50's comes up and begins to take items out of my trolley and put in in hers! (there were shortages of some items due to covid etc.) I didn't stand for such behaviour and took back my items and warned her not to continue doing so. My mother rounded the corner with a trolley of her own and tried to de-escalate the situation... only to have this woman slap her across the face hard. In an absolute split second? I saw red... grabbing the person who attacked my mother and threw her at least a metre down the isle.. scratching her deeply across the face repeatedly. Security was called, police were called, videos were reviewed. Other shoppers had been assaulted by the same woman... The son of the woman who assaulted my mother was deeply embarrassed of his mother's behaviour... The same police who knew me and my family personally attended and deemed that my reaction was out of self defence of my mother (alongside my traumatic life circumstances at the time.. still had my hospital wrist band on as evidence.) My mother was seen to by paramedics (as was I.) and the woman was banned from the shopping centre indefinitely. (and was taken away by police.) No charges were laid on me for my actions though I was not at all proud of what I did... My mother understood in such an instance.. but she did express that she wanted me to try harder to manage my reactions in future.. which I have. I am not saying I am an angel. Far from it. Yet, no one attacks me or my loved ones. No one. If someone physically assaults me or my loved ones? All bets are off. I suffer from C-PTSD, Depression, Loneliness and rumination educed anxiety.... Being high functioning autistic person is not at all a blessing. It is a curse. You're almost ''normal'' yet not enough to seemingly be loved and accepted... and not disabled enough to get proper supports or to be taken seriously/given fair life chances/fair opportunities. 💔 I want to start an art business next year and work for myself because I don't fit anywhere int the traditional realms of workplaces... (I wanted to become an EN... but was shown no support or genuine care...thus sadly, Had to abandon such a dream.) I love art and it is the one thing I know I am good at. I wish people like us didn't have to suffer so much... 😢

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Are you saying eating the whole box of girl scout cookies is related to autism? 😂 (I'm joking)

I’ve suspected that I’ve had autism for many years now after being diagnosed over a decade ago with anxiety and depression. When I told my family members they all said “no you definitely don’t seem like that.”

I’m glad you forewarned us that you are not a psychologist. Do you know what treatment therapy is? Do you know what emotional regulation is? Do you know what CBT and DBT is? All of these methods help autistic people and if they go through the treatments, They’re probably going to change the personality. And for someone who only found out they were autistic during their midlife, I have already surpassed a lot of the treatment methods that people choose to either not utilize and or hide behind the autistic diagnosis and do nothing about it. A diagnosis was created by the DSM and a whole bunch of clinical research money. If you let society define who you are by an agreed-upon diagnosis in a society with ample money and nutrition, then that is your choice. People have central nervous system variations. I really hope you start defining life outside of the limitations that scholars have created for you.Subscribe to me, thnx.

14:42 that might be the worst sound I've ever experienced wtf

It is also highly important to note these social/processing struggles are consistent through life not just after a stressful time or event or busy time of change and not just a couple of them. Thank you for this video, it is so much more beneficial than short tiktoks on 'quirky traits' with no honest examples! 💗

I feel this video very strongly. Debbie is a saint compared to what I faced. If I had to place it, I'm at the 5 minutes past the honeymoon phase and wallowing in the bottom of the next curve at a new job, new living space, freshly separated from my wife (not a Debbie), and up against a wall for a cybersecurity exam in a few days. Work is worlds out of my comfort zone, and I'm distinctly unincluded by my coworkers. The anger about the past hit last night along with thoughts of self harm that I rode out and made it through . . . and I think that I'm currently in the position that you were in, where you realize that the work environment isn't sustainable anymore. Because of your video showing me that I don't have to force myself through that, I'm going to actively seek change instead of facing inevitable burn out and anguish. Keep making content. You're saving lives.

What if i recognize my self in all trades you mention as autism in women but im a man diagnosed with ADHD or rather ADD.

3.58 SSSHHHHYYYYY - what did that mean ?

This video just made me realize that I'm more autistic than I thought. I didn't know a lot of these were symptoms of autism, but I display all of them.

You popped up on a suggested video (women and girls), now I'm watching all of them. Non diagnosed ASD. I was put on permanent disability in my 30's because of all my health problems. Everything you said here was spot on, literally everything. I want to comment on every part. Thank You!

Well Well to make it short: thanks!

I have a system of sortig thigns out, I add the phrase For the sake of conversation to mean what you would expect a neurotypical person to say e.g if you think a shirt looks ugly but they ask you if it is beautiful you could say (for the sake of conversation I think it is beautiful) and not be lying.

I have learning disabilities, which I always believed that it was because no one would teach me as a kid and my adopted parents forcing teh school into holding me back in teh first grade and the teachers not wanting to teach me again. And as a foster kid I moved over 40 times and never got to learn. AND no one has been able to explain math - math is illogical Wish I was smart, and 11 degrees never made me smart, hell I can not get into my fourth masters degree or a Ph.D. Program because eI am so stupid. But I am autistic - which I was in my 40’s when I was told I was

I often got fired from security jobs for informing the rules on everyone no matter who they are or how much money they have or job title Rich people and higher job title

What is that pink thing in your hand?

OUGHH OH MY GOD WHAT IF I AM AUTISTIC THIS IS LIKE. ALL MY LIFE? WHAT IF...

When you're direct and objective and bring up problems and possible solutions and ask several questions in order to work better: rude and annoying. When you mask everything to pass as a regular person: hard to keep up with others, anxiety before even leaving home, eventual burnout. When you quit cause you're having anxiety attacks and stay at home: more anxiety about the thought of "fixing yourself" and go back to work, depression/suicidal thoughts cause you're not good enough and can't even make any friends. I swear i'm trying...

DAT ME

Thanks for the info. I know it's not a diagnostic tool but the god damn fucking medical system keeps blocking me and I can't get the professional help I need. I'll take what I can get at this point. Because 13 reasons why you're not autistic just turned into 13 reasons I'm probably autistic.

First time here and I'm getting "Coach but actually knows biology" vibe.

I think the multiple conversations and eye contact thing is different for women. We are taught to mask these from a very early age. If we don't do eye contact in some situations it could be dangerous for us. And any communication with people have certain expectations of how women should respond and once again if we don't learn how to do it correct early, it could be dangerous for us. Men can get away with a lot more than women can and although we probably feel the same discomfort as autistic guys do, we have had to deal with it for so long that we don't even notice it anymore and its probably come out in some other form via medical issue.

What if changes (like the grocery cart) only bug you if they don't make sense. Like, if I can see that the change actually improves something then I can easily role with it. On the other hand, if it either makes no observable difference making the change pointless or god forbid makes it worse in any way, it will frustrate the heck out of me. The grocery store I use to frequent most moved their flyers to a stupid spot not by the front door like they use to be and every time (rarely these days) that I go I get bothered again by it.

“I’d rather jump into a frozen lake of duck shit,” 🦆 🦆 🦆 💩 💩 😅😅😅 epic

A colleague from my friends school was treated by multiple psychiatrists and even spent a few months in a psychiatric hospital as she was diagnosed with schizophrenia, she heard voices. Turned out she was just thinking 😂 and she thought she was so special because of the voice in her head. She thought she was the only one in the world to experience that. I bet it's the same thing with these self diagnosed people who are just looking for excuses for themselves. Everyone's special, please stop being so self obsessed it's unbearable

Is the wearing a pink wig and rocking back and forth part necessary?

if I'm talking to more than 2 people, I give up. they just talk to each other I have no idea how I'm supposed to join in 😭

I cannot get over how much I relate to you. I started out only relating to the high masking females, but it's like you are my brother. 😂🙏🥰 Thank you for your work. It's helping me with my personal miracles. I promise I always pass along the gift. 🎁🥰

At grocery stores, you can wear a hat with a visor for the lights, and bring a mask for when you're near the smells that are bad for you, which for me is detergent and soap and flowers

I'm dead laughing at the dribbling, never experienced this but i can definitely see it happening to others

Ok looks like I'm not faking it

9:09 Why does every other item say "likely not" autistic ehile this one just plainly says its impossible?

Most autistic people are still able to understand non-verbal communication cues, it's just harder and takes more processing power

Don’t even know if I am autistic at 74 yrs but I have taken all the online tests, I am Way Up on the percentile rating for each one….Anyhoo, I think that my love of whistling to music my whole life might be stimming? My kids don’t like it, but I have done it everywhere, home, at work, whenever there is music to respond to…. Got me in trouble with ‘friends’ in high school….they thought I was weird… And solo dancing too…I did it at a school dance Once, because I loved the music, and no one had asked me to dance…That got the whole school laughing at me! So I went to folk dance classes many times, or danced in my living room when I was alone, or on a deserted beach under a full moon, just a hop, skip, and a jump here and there…..Always, still, feels good! I love music, rain falling, waves crashing, soothing me every time… Someday I hope to get that official diagnosis… And my 3 adult children all exhibit various signs of the spectrum, too.

I always have lots of projects going on but actually get a lot of things done by switching between them and applying just a little bit of discipline (sometimes) to force myself to finish this or that project before I allow to start another (taking notes is however allowed so I don't forget my idea, as is doing research on the topic). When I look at the amount of things I've completed, I'm impressed, because I used to struggle with that a lot more (with the exception of the Absolutely Autistically Engaging projects that are the only one thing I want to think about for 2~3y)

i feel like for me the rabbit hole goes even deeper. I'd have to cross the information on this video with studies about gender (which is a whole struggle on its own). I naturally show traits of both genders, but I'm socially expected to act as only one (cause we're back on the age of binary behaviour which not only historically is an absurd but also not seen in nature as strict as in humans). And then even though I can be diagnosed with autism, im compared to a stereotyped cis gender person, like you wearing a wig pretending to be a woman. There's a lot to be considered when treating autistic people and separating them in man and woman, having the access to all the knowledge we have today about the fluidity between both extremes, covers just the very tip of the iceberg. it's like moving forward on a certain discussion but having outdated sources.

I have an MA in psychology, and to my understanding, autism can manifest itself in many ways, and not all autistic people have the same set of symptoms. Also, it's important to mention that nowadays we know that autism seems different in women, compared to men, and women's autism is much harder to diagnose.

i don’t know why, but when you were making the eye contact allergy joke, i received it way better than i would if a NT made it

This isn’t really true though because not one trait fits all autistic people so, I used to struggle in understanding conversation as a child but I grew out of it some autistic minds change with time not all of us are the same this is very misleading for people who actually want answers.

I’M SOBBING BECAUSE I FEEL SO SEEN AND UNDERSTOOD, ALL MY LIFE UNTIL TO DAY I HAVE THOUGHT THERE IS SOMETHING WRON WITH ME I NEED TO FIX IT, I NEED TO FIX IT, AND I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING! I’m glad I watched this video before my first therapy session as well like all I can say is thank you so much❤️‍🔥

I better make some eye contact. Hey, look at me, I'm making eye contact. How long is too long making it weird? OK, I'll stop now because I don't want to look too long. Or was that too short? .....Oh, crap. ..what did they just say?

me here to check if I'm autistic even though I'm diagnosed 🕴🏼

I did not even think I was autistic until I saw this.. I mean I thought this all was normal and people just was playing with me when they said I might be on the spectrum. This takes some time to sink in..