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Coercive control is so misunderstood and so few people even hear about the concept but it's everywhere and I'm sick of it. Glad you're away from your abusers. Life is so much better now I am too ❤

This is really good and important video! Thank you so much for your honesty! ❤ I wish you all the best! Really. Please be happy! You deserve all the best!

Omg I was hostage by the riot grrl trope. For this I caused myself a lot of shame. Thank you for helping me address this

I can relate to this

THANK YOU!

Grooming? You mean recruiting?

I also started smoking cigarettes and tend to struggle with forming connections post grooming... I have what sometimes feels like strange rules and get sussed out easily. Honestly these videos are very brave and helpful, so thank you.

thank you so so much, my mother is a psychopath

Thank you so, so much. What an amazing, amazing video, thank you for expressing all that you have and for sharing it. You're amazing. This has helped me greatly.

The narcs that I have know also never talked about themselves but were data gathers while stating that they were asking because they cared so much. Great point. I think the more sick psycho ones are more strategic. There are lots of them.

Thank you for sharing. I don’t have a support group family or friends I love the grave analogy. Thank you for that.

Omg I’m so glad I found your videos

Well, sorry for your trauma but this is kink shaming. God forbid adult humans have sex with each other the way they choose. Best wishes in life, stay well.

The bitter anger resentment describes every one at pizza night and everyone in the cult.

Fantastic videos! I can tell you showed up and did the shadow work! ❤️✨👏 One eye opener I had was understanding that scammers try to reflect your energy back to you, so you feel you are on the same page, when nothing could be further from the truth. They be plotting on your damn life, taking your kindness as weakness. It takes eyes to see how pathetic and shallow.

The specialness you describe is called “attention seeking behavior” it is childlike, but it is manipulative in a codependent style. It’s all about them.

A dirty Attorney for the other side committed SA to frame and attempt coercive control.

My groomers intentionally destroyed my support system and career / finances, they wanted me to be down and out and control the narrative. They are scammers, liars, deeply criminal.

The second point about inconsistency is actually studied in animals and people building on Pavlov. Intermittent reinforcement. I trained dogs before realizing these patterns from my childhood so when I heard that I was shocked and sick. So.. Originally studied in rats. Rats+trained to press a lever+food pellet If the rats pressed a lever and received a food pellet everytime, they would eat for a while and stop. If they pressed and never received a pellet, they would press it a few times and stop. If there was a predictable interval (pellet every 5 lever pushes), they would eat for a while and stop. However, If there was no discernable/predictable pattern, the rats would become obsessed with pressing the lever and begin neglecting their other needs like hygiene and mating. EVEN when the pellets completely stopped coming. This is how gambling addictions work. This is absolutely the easiest and quickest way to train a dog. .. or child or partner or customer...

Your awesome

Some women like anal because it feels good. Not all of us were molested.

We so appreciate you posting this. It is such an important topic and your insight was invaluable.

2 exes and one exspouse ALL had alcoholic, self centered, somewhat incestuous moms. They all became woman hating narcs. Yikes!

This woman is a genuis.

I was a very successful model in NY city. VERY stressful. Very un fulfilling.

Porn normalizes anal. Its quite horrifying.

I'm very secure & confident and still these narcs pursued me full throttle. It was as if they wanted to break me.

I was groomed, manipulated & lied to by 2 exes. Narcs of course. It was utterly devastating.

Ehren thank you for your content. Your a gem 💎🫡

Wow! This helped.. Thanks❤

Dr. Psych Mom is an example of a therapist who focuses on intimacy

I can't seem to differentiate between breadcrumbs and boundaries....can you help me understand which relationships are breadcrumbing and which are the other person exercising boundaries....I dont want to force my "friend" to hang out with me or become closer than she wants

Who are we listening to? Is this a male or female?

Thank you for covering this subject

GREAT video

I've never met anyone who claimed to have mind reading abilities and did not reveal themselves to be an actual sociopath at some point in the future. I don't overthink stuff like this. Even if I doubt myself to be wrong in judging them, it's never been worth it to wait and find out. I just run as fast as I can away from shit like this

Yes. I agree with your theory to an extent. Where I disagree is how the distorted role is applied. Even when I have said "I am not special" or/and outright denied deflected the toxic person's interpretation of me, they did not walk away. They continued as if adamant to forcefully impose that role (often as villan) so they and their supporters can justify their abuse. To me they are social rapists who don't respect that no means no. There's even situations where they actively stalk you (and their supporters stalk you, too), just to induce unwanted engagement. It's truly disturbing and invasive. This is happening to me now. And, they get more and more people to join in, that's the bizarre thing. People that don't even know you talk badly about you as if they do.

Don't be too hard on yourself, Ehren. You are making a difference to peoples lives in so many ways,

I like how this video of yours just screams the key concepts of feminism and how marriage is misused.

Thank you for your videos ❤✨

Why are we calling them “predators” and not Narcissists?

A predator may rush you into commitment because they haven’t won their endgame and are getting tired of holding up their mask. If the victim holds to traditional morality, this is a way the predator can hijack their “plumbline”. I have seen a predator play a very long game until achieving their desired outcome. The mask had already slipped off in front of their victim, who felt morally obligated to endure the abuse. But once reaching the endgame, the predator completely tossed their mask aside. Everyone associated got a chance to see what had been underneath all along. It was so shocking that some can’t even believe what they were shown. They make excuses or shift blame inappropriately. Predators love an affinity group for this reason.

It's true.

Ehren you have a wonderful channel!!! Keep up the good work. I was scapegoated. I don't know what happened to me as a child, but I was VERY obsessed with segs* at a young age. It really affected my adulthood choices. I had weak boundaries and low self esteem and I let some very predatory men near me. Ugh now that I know I can't believe I let this go on so long

Hi Ehren, I've just found your channel and I've binged a few videos in a row now. Yours is a very eye-opening perspective to me. It's like there's a missing link here for me. My abuse 'signals' were installed since I was a toddler. Can we be thrown back into child states that we can't access from any rational, adult cognitive state? Are we, in fact triggered into being the helpless child? Is this the whole point why abusers do it? You are very self aware about this whole dynamic. Can we ever get a clear awareness if the trigger puts us in a 'toddler' state. So many questions. Thank you for stirring these questions.

This was great and very helpful. Thank you

This was extremely helpful! Thank you so much!

A good man would wait until the right time & realise the signs of vulnerability & try to protect you ❤

You literally described women of today’s Toronto. Been growing like this since mid late 2000s

Listening to you speak in all these videos is really cathartic for me because of your excellent ability to articulate and reveal the scope of all these aspects of inter-relating with psychopaths. There are so many things that have taken me years to work through yet have not been able to analyze into words still. Thank you❤❤❤