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At around 7:00 minutes in the "issue" is not given. I know this is just an example using role play, but it would help to mention what issue they are discussing.

The couple seems very cute so it pains me to say this marriage probably won't last. You will notice that the husband's advice to the wife was "I'll take care of the dog" and the wife's advice to the husband is "do a better job of communicating". He is demonstrating classic codependent behavior. Even if the wife is perfectly OK mentally, his behavior will slowly train his wife to give him things to do and criticize him often.

What if one partner rejects the advice offered?

so many interruptions, counselor not being attentive to patient's needs at all.

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:57 *Eva is enthusiastic about her project at work, developing a video game for children with autism to aid word comprehension.* 02:15 *Eva feels nervous discussing personal issues at home with John.* 03:09 *Eva and John's relationship is strained due to lack of intimacy, weight gain, and emotional disconnection.* 04:02 *Eva expresses feeling lonely and unfulfilled despite her high-stress job and successful career.* 06:25 *Eva's shopping addiction, particularly for shoes, serves as a coping mechanism and reflects deeper emotional issues.* 11:50 *Eva's collection of items, especially shoes and newspapers, holds significant emotional attachment and serves as a source of comfort.* 13:11 *The therapist discusses hoarding behavior with Eva, emphasizing curiosity over judgment and identifying different aspects of the problem.* 20:07 *Eva struggles with letting go of items due to their potential use, emotional significance, and connections to past memories and relationships.* 22:35 *The therapist proposes addressing both behavioral changes and underlying emotional issues simultaneously to tackle Eva's hoarding problem effectively.* 24:49 *Eva's hoarding behavior appears rooted in childhood experiences of rejection and emotional neglect, leading to feelings of containment and anxiety.* 26:36 *Eva discusses her parents' dynamics, noting her mother's neatness and her father's disappointment, indicating complex family relationships.* 27:28 *The therapist suggests a book titled "Buried in Treasures" to help Eva with acquiring behaviors, aiming to increase awareness and provide strategies for reducing clutter.* 29:47 *The therapist discusses the concept of "retail therapy" and suggests questions for Eva to consider before making purchases, aiming to address impulsive buying habits.* 30:42 *The therapist acknowledges that addressing Eva's attachment to her shoes may be challenging due to its deep emotional connections, suggesting that they may work on it later in therapy.* 31:35 *Eva discusses her compulsive shopping habits related to maintaining her image at work, indicating a potential area for intervention in therapy.* 32:02 *The therapist suggests using strategies like sorting items into boxes and setting time limits to help Eva manage her clutter without feeling overwhelmed.* Made with HARPA AI

Must have been such fun filming this. How did you get through the filming without bursting into laughter!? 😅

Is this an actual patient? Did she give consent to have her session filmed and broadcast? Or is this a dramatization with an actor? It would truly help to clarify this question for the general public, so they would know that this video would never be made without the client's informed, signed consent, given the legal and ethical constraints of confidentiality. (I just clicked on the "really bad counseling skills" video where the fact that this is indeed a dramatization is clearly stated. It would be very helpful to have the same statement on this video too, for those who come to it first, like I did.)

Kim, Thanks for sharing this. This is a really great example of the stress reducing conversation and I really like seeing the natural tendencies being addressed real time. Great Job James and Sarah! Very helpful!

I'm curious as a training therapist if in real life you take this amount of time to talk to the client and explain the intervention. It's seven minutes total and I personally wouldn't want to take up that much time of my clients' 50-minute session to explain the exercise. Is it because this is a training video or is this how Gottman therapy is performed?

This is HILARIOUS 😂 Thank you Kim Lampson for this. I am watching this for my LMHC course.

I am a new therapist and I was wondering, why did you start with the first question rather than having the speaker begin by explaining their position?

Hoping I'm remembering correctly, surprisingly useful guidance I heard from Dr. Julie Gottman was along the lines of, "Don't give your wife advice unless she asks for it."

Love this. One minor observation though: I do think there is a fine line on the confronting a client about laughter. Everyone copes with traumatic things differently and some do it with laughter and humor. I think a counsellor needs to be very careful not to invalidate that style of coping because this actually a VERY healthy coping mechanism and should not be dismissed. The correct example is still better than the incorrect one, but I still wonder if such a thing NEEDED to be confronted about at all.) (I'm going to bring up this point in my counselling class on Friday, as we were assigned this video, and I think it would encourage a thoughtful discussion on the subject.)

This is really wonderful content. But the music is set so loudly that it hurts my ears unfortunately that I had to stop! I wish the music was not there as I had to stop watching and it stands in the way of your very helpful content!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Therapist volume is low clients volume is lowest , music volume so high It's so difficult to even hear what's going on

Is this DBT? Maybe some other, similar approach. It's very interesting to watch this. Thank you for uploading. I did feel disappointed though, after watching the very funny 'bad therapy session'. I'm not keen on directive models, though accept they work for some clients in certain situations. I think typically with this model an opportunity was missed with the very first conversation about the clients day, to reflect what the client was feeling about her work day and therefore bring feelings into the space with something she feels positive about. I think if this gateway had been trusted, the client would have naturally shifted through to talking about what wasn't right in her life, but emotion language would have already been invited into the therapeutic space. By the time the therapists started advising and informing, I'd started switching off.

This was hilarious, but it wasn't that helpful for me. It was a little to ridiculous and exaggerated for that. Would be good to see a session that is more subtly wrong. Leading a client, summarising in a way that more directive than required, second guessing what the client is going to say, asking irrelevant questions out of unfocused curiosity, giving advice at the wrong moments, missing important information the client is offering you, missing opportunities to take the client deeper if appropriate. And maybe a commentary as it's happening so that the moments are highlighted. This would be helpful.

great learning aid to me as a psychology student.

Great video !

Great demo, are these exercises available through Gottman relationship builder?

Sounds good, assuming on the second scenario that she aknowledges the underlaying issue (which is that she prioritizes work or text messages above her son and husband)... what if she does not? then this just gives better amo to the narcisist to now be all composed and continue to believe that she is really doing everything she can to be a good mother.. but is she? ... I get that the point of the exercise is active listening. But the soft undertone is concerning, which is to just manage the form to be "politically correct", but not address the root causes of the problem. This sounds just like our government and look how the world is today!

When someone is talking about a problem and their partner is listening, I think it’s a natural response to want to try to problem solve. It’s definitely important to communicate honestly and openly as a couple and I like the way this approach was demonstrated

This is also helpful for friends.

🤣 hahaha

Verrrry helpful while preparing for my techniques class. Thank you!

Cute couple.

Hahaha! Oh. My. Gosh. The stimudent! Hahaha. Oh no... Sounds like the conversation between two strangers on a bus

my husband prefers masturbation to having sex with me? HELP

Such a sweet couple! So grateful they have been willing to do this for us therapists to grow. 💜

What sheet was used here?

Let me put away my cell phone. --farts--

Great therapist very natural and open in her work . I also related to the hording issue

Watching this while doing my counselling essay (5pages) from Africa-Kenya. You saved me. Thank you.

This was great and very educational. The flawed ways of handling sessions are hilarious and the client is great about letting the counselor know she not getting her right.

I am not sure why it was ok for the counselor to make a self-disclosure (the correct part). I felt like the counselor would not share that she was cheated on, not even a little bit?.. It seems like TMI if it's about the counselor and her private life...

This has been so helpful in my own practice and confidence to get my Gottman marriage workshop going in my area. I took the training, but I feel like I forgot a lot of the content. Even with the materials. 🤦🏼‍♀️ thank you so much for this!!!

omfg my counsellor ia exactly like this

Great input about what do to and avoid for a effective therapy

Thank you for uploading! great example!

"Do you ever get on Pinterest?" That made me laugh way too hard lol

People need to understand this is just one session... therapy doesn't happen in one day..change takes a lot of time and sessions n therapist just aid in it.this is for educational purpose ..for students like me who need some help to see how the skills are used

😄😄😄😄😄

Thank you so much for this, I have learned a lot! :)

I wish you would create more videos, Kim. Really amazing knowledge you have.

In videos like this one which show a correct way to do something and an incorrect way to do something so that you can know what to shoot for and what to avoid, I never have understood the point of including "incorrect" examples which were so flawed that no one would do them in real life. For example, when the therapist is "empathizing" with her client and she keeps saying the opposite of what she says. What would be a therapist's motivation for making that mistake in the first place? I feel like there would be room for the video to teach its audience more if the negative examples were more realistic. Some of the negative examples were realistic. Like I could see how a therapist might go a little overboard with the self-disclosure in real life. And I've had therapists who have just bombarded me with options like she does in the negative example of "mutual goal setting" instead of honing in on where I was and what I would be capable of. So I thought that those negative examples were effective in achieving the objective of this video. But I couldn't say the same for all of them.

ruclips.net/video/M2Uu1DQoviE/видео.html

Quality of sound is bad

I hate the word "hoard" too, especially when someone's confrontational about it (especially therapists).

Is this Dreams in Conflict meant for young couples just starting out or is it meant for any couple anywhere in the lifecycle ?

can u help with the skills used..?