It is, that’s why it’s a hidden disorder that no one really understands. The more we do the more we convict them by removing them from our lives, which is why the world is so upside down right now the energy they steal from us is being redirected and redistributed through Gods grace and love to fix and repair what they destroyed and they are spinning out of control seeing their curse reversed and cleared. Stay strong empaths!!
Manipulation kept me hooked in. They did their stuff and blamed me. I never measured up to his expectations. Nothing was ever good enough. Never any happiness for him. Miserable, heartless person going through life destroying others. A little crumb here and there to keep you running and hoping things will change, they never do. If you are in an abusive relationship, get out now. It will never change. Love yourself enough to stop being tortured.
I was, with a prominent psychiatrist no less. He wanted to marry me. One shove because dinner wasn't made in time was enough to freak me out. I went to a support group for abused women and those women were completely depleted and destroyed. They were in complete agony. Just 1 meeting and I saw my future. Perfect remedy and complete healing witnessing what my future held in store for me if I stayed. Highly recommend this for anyone getting ensnared.
Glad you use the word "crumb." Because, now, the phrase "BEING BREAD-CRUMBED" is being passed on to the next generation. At least knowledge is getting passed around about how to keep people from going through what I or others went through so easily
I'm still trying to get my health back. We empaths are better off without them. All they do is take, take, take and they are never happy, no one could ever be good enough for them. God bless you Andrew!!
You can't please them. You knock yourself out and bend over backwards for them with absolutely no acknowledgement, rather, to the contrary: They whine to every one about how you never help them. Trying to maintain a relationship with them is pure insanity.
Breezy I One Up with you in that comment , and the Hits keep on coming. I'm glad my record player broke 6 mths ago, and I found this channel. Now I do my own song and dance. I've been so good at it I finally figured out how to leave without the 3rd and 4 devaluation onslaught. I wised up to the puppet on a String tactic and piled on the Edu: Once I got my self esteem back, got back my friends, my family and stopped the isolation tactics. Any one can crawl their way out of similar situations. Don't run at first though, use your noggings, PLAN. Oh and always remember they got new supply B, just around any given corner. ❤️
Narcissists don't have conversations, ever, they conduct interviews and collect information they can secretly weaponise against you. It's amazing how we can know something really well, and then along comes some new information or a different description (thank you Andrew) and suddenly understanding deepens, another penny drops. During the love bombing stage we are unwittingly falling in love with a reflection of the best parts of ourself that we are unconscious of and subconsciously projecting onto the narcissist. The narcissist, who is almost always in stealth mode, is withholding all of their own projections and reflecting back at you the appearance of the information they are gathering while interviewing their current target, you. In the devaluation stage you may notice the narc angrily or passive aggressively accusing you of many of the things that they are doing themselves but refuse to acknowledge. That is their projection at work. Often the faults in others that bother us the most are the faults we can't see in ourselves. Or conversely . The traits and attributes that we admire the most in others are the things we can't see in ourselves or have been trained to disown and suppress. True introspection is very difficult for everyone. Go within anyway, and embrace who you truly are, the magnificence of you, in humility, awe and Love, reject the hell of the narcissists projection and leave them to their own toxic delusions.
They devalue you because you have stood up to them and have called them out. They can’t stand peoples flaws even though they are full of them. They then look for someone else to fool who adores them in the beginning to get their fix. They too will be devalued.
My devaluation! This is what gets to me. People can’t understand and I’m not going to explain 35 plus years of my life in a narcissistic relationship to those who do not understand. One day I will relocate where no one knows me. It’s difficult! Some days I mourn in secret. I have goals and I will fulfill them.
I was in for many many years. It does happen because they have rewired our brains with the non stop narcissism. But Andrew gives 💯 validation. I wouldn’t be able to explain without his help. 💪🏼💪🏼 Keep being fabulous!💙
@@Star-ze8dh Andrew is the best! I could never forget him. How could I! If it weren’t for this channel I would have been in the dark on narcissism. I love Andrew! He took the veil off my eyes! I can never forget him!
Your knowledge is specific and powerful. A couple of decades have passed since my narcissist tragedy and I'm happily married now, but listening to you has brought all of the abuse into clear perspective. Now I think about it every day which bothered me at first - I honestly felt I had moved on and barely gave it a thought. But now I see where I got stuck in life, how far I've come and I can now finalize my closure. Few people have the courage to lay it all out the way you do, it requires vulnerability, acceptance of defeat and the ability to carry on despite the damage. Much respect to you.
Amen mine is 5 months ago but they still try to but I am so glad I took the steps to get out. I don't have to deal with it 24 hours of the day like I did. It is awesome to wake up in the morning now
Unfortunately I lost my identity. I had such a bad experience that I put up a wall and never let another person in to have another relationship. Eight years later and at 56 years old I’m alone. Not one therapist explained to me what you have in just a few videos. Thankyou Andrew. Still learning. Being an empath is hard,and I had no confidence in myself to be able to feel I would pick a good partner after attracting three narcissistic men. I was bashed by all of them and ended up in hospital. I think I’m healed then I see a video like this and feel sad and alone. But I will say I’ve learnt a lot and have found my happiness in spirituality. Great video ,love and kind regards from Australia 🌻
During the love bombing stage when it feels so good , like this is the one person you were always looking for , you are just being mirrored by the Narc. In other words they are only reflecting back what you are giving them. So in essence you are actually falling in love with yourself . It's very bizarre but that is what's happening, there is in fact nothing on the other side , it's just you being reflected back to yourself which is why it feels like true love.
Your description is very good and yet I can still not fathom this mechanism. Could we please elaborate more on this projection? Perhaps Andrew has already made a video on this; I'll search for it.
If you must interact with a narcissist for any reason, it is the best not to take them seriously. Try to always remember that you are not dealing with a psychologically healthy person. It is their disorder that facilitates their nasty, demeaning behavior , however they do know better.
Their stories and never ending lies are absolutely so easy to spot. They love an audience. But no one is ever as amazing as they are. Its entertaining if you keep your witts about you.
Too bad more people don't listen to your they know better assessment about them. I know this too, and I really get fed up with people making excuses about the allegedly bad childhood or whatever for them. What happens, whatever the case is, is that it's victim is making excuses for more abuse by doing that! I'm not trying to "victim blame" here, but those people AREN'T VICTIMS (as much as they are ENABLERS OR FLYING MONKEYS.);Types like those are absolute enemies to all mankind!
@@Scott-nr2ji , yes I agree that narcissists are a huge problem for all of humanity. Narcissistic abuse can lead to illness and untimely death for some of the targets. Certainly to a reduction in the quality of life, if you need deal with this largely pointless control obsession and weirdness of a narcissist on a daily level.
I would like to add for those of you starting your journey to healing, keep at it. Have faith. You WILL recover. As the fog clears, You will have fresh, clean, new space in your minds, lots of room for new thoughts, new plans, and peaceful happiness. Keep the faith, always. Blessings, Andrew.
Yes @Eileem Allen: Your words give hope to us who not yet has come there in our mood Maybe You have seen my notice here at the Chanel "You Are Not Alone"? ... so I don't gonna repeat it but I'm a living proof (us many us are of course!) that WHEN You left them (or the narc left You) - DO NOT GO BACK to them! NEVER. I did once but I left again so I discarded the narc twice and I never regret one second that I left him Well it was 1 year and 9 month for now that I left him (after totally 12 years of abuse) and nowadays I understand why I get hoover back to him too. It wan't happen again cause of @Andrew's videos and some other educated people and literature of narc behavior I'm educated me so much that I can see that toxic relationship "with wide open eyes" and could see the pattern of what the narc did - and of course my own co-dependent behavior in it too. But it get better and better everyday day since I left and today I don't care of him or what he is doing nowadays - not a bit. He has tried to hoover me some times the latest was in April this year but I did not responded so for now I think and suppose he is busy with another "victim". He is a musican (famous one too) and he has a lot of jobs/gigs going on now in the summer so he is too buzy to hunting me 😂That is good for me😎
@@tathe3786 I'm 10.9 years out. I cried, sobbed, almost died, but I made it. Give it time, and DO NOT TAKE THE NARC BACK. I read self help books, I was in Therapy, and watched these videos. Now when I think of him, I don't feel LOVE...I don't MISS him, but I won't forget. You will all be fine. Just remember. it will take TIME..GOD BLESS YOU ALL!! ❤💙💙
At first we met a narcissist disguised as a saint . And then we got to know the demon who wanted our souls . You can only be that cruel to hurt someone that was so loving and trusting . The narc is a nomad , here there and everywhere causing carnage .. 💙
Narcissist BLAME you for EVERYTHING that goes wrong. You will not be able to reason with them for they are not reasonable! Do not think that you can tell them how their actions are affecting you and that they will do anything different. DO NOT EXPECT TO BE ABLE TO TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL AND THINK THEY WILL UNDERSTAND. THEY DONT CARE.
It surely does take a toll on your health, mentally & emotionally. I was looking back over some old photos one day and come across a picture of myself, I didn't even recognize me! I was skin-n-bones, but I remember during that time how much he kept telling me I was fat. I had such low-self esteem. How could I have been so duped?! That's why I love your videos, Andrew. Everything you cover is spot on. And your're right, awareness & knowledge is the key. Narcissist never change, but we can, and we do once we know the Truth about them.
The thing that got me is you don't notice they get you on their schedule during the love bomb stage and then you're hooked and then here comes the subtle devaluation and triangulation... It's sneaky as hell man.
You ain't wrong mate and the scary thing is they all do the same thing it's like these people are reading from a script, stay safe mate protect yourself
I am so thankful for this video. To everyone, when the narc starts tearing you down, think - what kind of a person says that? Can you even imagine yourself saying those things they said? You'd never! Pro tip - don't get so dragged down that you say those things back to the narc to "win" because they want you to stoop to their level. They will love it if you say something yucky! They are setting you up to do that! You are made of love.
They do love "new" and with it revolving doors are required. Devaluation can happen daily, weekly, through circumstance, or season. I saw the Narcissist throw away great potential, completely destroy it; when just the basics of professionalism and kindness could have spared them. It's awful when we internalize THEIR dysfunction... we don't understand the situation and try to compensate in various ways. Whenever some garbage was going down, something was later revealed- drug use, a relapse, some serious claims of infidelity or big troubles with someone else. Oddly enough they wouldn't know what to do without the chaos. The problem is, they want to blame and hurt you for all of it. And when you are gone, someone else gets to be the target... always a rotation of targets.
HI . THIS IS WHY I NEED MI FAMILIA ALONG EITH MI AMIGO. I NEED YOUR COMMENTS VERY IMPORTANT IN THIS JOURNEY.THANK YOU I WILL EMBRACE TRUTH. I HAVE MI FAMILIA HERE ND YOUR WISDOM IS SO USED. IAM.BEAUTIFUL,AMAZING,AND LOTS OF LOVE.. I THAN GOD FOR THAT.IAM A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER,LOVE ND RESPECT OTHERS AND GRACE IS ONE OF MY BEAUTY.LOVE LEARNING ND UNDERSTANDIG.... THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN.GOOD NITE.
I’m so done trying to “get back where I was”. I told him, “that girl is dead and you killed her”. At this point I’m beating him at his own game and he doesn’t even know it💪🏼👍🏼😂until I have a chance to get away safely😎it feels sooooo goooood🥰
Probably the most cruel situation ever. Because the heart aches like hell. A punch in the face is obvious. And we get away from that person. The devaluation is often hidden and slow and the side effects are worse than the punch. Worse. I hope everyone gets out as soon as possible from the spinning system of these pathetic creatures. They are so many like coakroaches. Did I spell it right? Anyway they are everywhere. Literally. They are the real pandemic. Narc pandemic. God bless us all.
I used to tell my narc whenever I am devalued that we can both be nice to each other and it can become a beautiful marriage. His reply was always "I am happy. I don't want to change anything." Due to my lack of awareness, I used to get puzzled at his response.
All of this is soooOoo true. My mom did this to me for decades and it was horrible. I barely made it out. I will say this, I use to think I was one of the cool kids in her circle of trust when I was actually the one on the out skirts. Watch out for the lying, that feeling of things are quite right with people like this. They will involve others in your relationship and play those people back and forth against you. The worst is the constant abuse. Sometimes it’s so clear. Other times, it sneaks up on you. The smear campaign is really a tough one. It’s so upsetting and painful because you can never win. You can never regain your balance. My health, bank account, well being & relationships took a huge hit. RUn away from this. YOu just don’t need it.
Yes Andrew the devaluation stage can go on for decades, it did for me and I consider myself an intelligent woman. I lost my son (not his son) to murder in 2017 and I believe now that my vulnerability just made it so much easier for my ex to whittle me down to absolutely nothing even though I gave everything despite my overwhelming grief. The discard then came out of the blue with no warning and it was only my intuition and an overwhelming sense of impending doom (exactly like when my son went missing, just before his body was found) that I cornered my ex and literally made him tell me what was going on and there it was - he had been orchestrating the sale of our business (I didn't know), told me he didn't want to do another 20 years with me and that we had to sell our family home (Our son is still at school) WHO DOES THAT. WHO DOES THAT TO A WOMAN WHO LOST A 26 YEAR OLD SON TO MURDER, WHO PUTS A 17 YEAR OLD YOUNG MAN INTO ABSOLUTE TURMOIL). Someone who is diabolical, disgusting and evil, that is who does that! 6 months tomorrow is the anniversary of the discard where I fell to my knees begging the bastard to reconsider! I have never encountered such cruelty! I am now informed, working towards getting my share of settlement despite the antics and lies. I appreciate this community so much (I have lost my community as the business is ours, however he is the DIRECTOR). I don't feel alone! Thank you Andrew, thank you everyone! 💖
Hang on Sister.. you will heal but it takes a long time so be patient with yourself and forgive yourself for not seeing what was happening to you. We’re all surviving and survivors here! Forgive yourself and forgive the punishment your narc deserves- humans are not meant to harbor revenge. Forgive and boundaries way up while you heal. God bless you and keep you
@@stacydauterman5122 Thank you so much, your message means a lot. This community that Andrew has created is a life saver! I will get there, wherever there is!!! I guess it is quite the adventure here on in and one towards peace!
@@hotscorpiorouge I lost a childhood friend of mine, to murder, rape, when we were seniors in high school, some years ago! Losing someone, when they come up missing, like my friend, and your son, not something to get over, but you get through it, we definitely don't need any toxic people around us. We have to keep moving forward, surround ourselves with genuine, people❤🙏💯
I was "gotten" when I had just been dumped from a long term relationship. I was at my most vulnerable being so down and I was made to think I'd met my soulmate - by being mirrored.
He took 300 photos, during the holiday, close to devaluation. So he could look at them, and start the devaluation process. He was a pro. He made sure I was caught unexpected, or not smiling at my best. So he could sit alone and pick me to pieces. He crafted his skill to be really ready for discard. These and an argument cemented the deal of discard. Even though he had rage fits and severe controlling behaviour, I forgave the whole time. Me trusting and him hateful cunning.
Yes those psycho narcissist use their mind and us, like playing chess. Been a Empath help me out a lot, i knew every move, i loss a lot at the beginning of the relationship, but by the end, Lord i make sure he knew i knew, game over, even playing pool i won!! I started fixing my hair really good, dressing nicer , even wear 2piece the last time we went to the beach, he was in discontent, and he even ask me why, i ask him why not? I got what it takes, he even told me i was too old, i told him his jealously was too obvious, to just let's enjoy the moment . For his misfortune, the day he left he try to sneak out, i was not home, he call me saying he got lock out of the house, and he was on a grave yard that's several miles away from the house, i ask him if he was planing his funeral? He said just thinking.. i took my sweet time, notice that some of his stuff were already in the car, and said let me help you because i already knew.But still those actions shows how sick they are.. Andrew as always, thanks a million that even on a Sunday you are committed to the awareness of this cold-blooded narcs . Namaste, Be bless..
As I listen to your video it sounds exactly like my experience exactly! When I was in it I knew something was wrong but did not know anything about Narcissism! It gives me such a sick feeling in my stomach to now know how predictable their manipulation is. This is so bang on to what I endured it is undeniable! Sickening that this is happening to so many other people! Thank you for shining the light on this and helping to educate the masses🙏
Me too Donna, so interesting when Andrew said they can’t love, I now understand that, I see it all. They suck you in, and hang on and wear you down. They have no respect for you, that really hit home. For me this went on for decades, I didn’t know what a narcissist was. 🤷♀️ I called him out in the end, It went right over his head. There’s no winning with these people.
100% At first it's love like u have never felt before, I was amazing, everything he wanted and has been looking for, we liked all the same things , hobbies, I was kind, helpful , cared for others ,always took pride in my appearance, then boom, I wanted to do my hobbies TOO much, not spend enough time with him, I wasn't loving enough, towards HIM , too caring towards others even if I dressed up it wasn't dressed up enough for HIM, then started the, I was a cheater, if I wanted time with my friends it was so I could cheat, couldn't see my friends or family because if I did it meant I didn't love HIM, couldn't go anywhere without him , then the bullying, taking my keys so I couldn't go out, blocking doorways if I tried, holding me down , I left! Then boom back to lovebomb, plz come back ill change , he cried he begged, I went back , boom back to devalue, and there u are in a cycle of abuse ! They are the worst waste of oxygen ...
This is so sick, my boundaries are up, and I am educating, a family member as well, to keep boundaries up, having discovered another narc, triangulating another family member. I have to protect my family member, my 80 year old mom, who I love. Boundaries up! Namaste, peace, love, strength💯🙏❤🌟🌟🌟
Parenting and coparenting with one till the kids are adults yes and I applaud your light and love. As we could tell the differences our children will be able to tell the differences. ..trusting in that is helpful. They will know your heart through the dust you know 🫠🙏
So well said, Andrew. I am beginning to fully understand what happened to me and why. I am finally able to separate myself emotionally from what happened--a very hard thing to do. It all rings true. Thank you for the help and support to give to all of us on the healing path. Blessings always.
You nailed it again, Andrew, especially your statements of fact regarding how they like "new" things. To them, people are just things. Thankful for these powerful words of confirmation. They are so helpful for those of us surviving in the aftermath of incideous, tenacious, boundary-busting, controlling narcissistic type people.
The new things are trophies and symbols of their success I was the supplier until i ran out of money, then she discarded me like an old worn out pair of shoes. In the end I soared to new heights and she is still in living sickly and miserable and alone. It is called Karma.
it took me 10 years to finally wake up and finally get rid of this person once and for all...i literally had no soul left but channels like these help,,,,always remember you are not alone and you are survivor like me,,,,you are a good person
The devaluation stage is always so confusing, brutal and disappointing. But once you figure these ppl out, u begin to excitedly wait for the day they kick your a$$ to the curb..
I raised 3 kids and he called me 'useless' (projecting) his biggest concern was me worshipping his equally pyscho narc 'mother' he wanted me to worship her while she mistreated me because she saw me as the 'other woman' I could write a book on those 2 demons.
My ex and I talked or text every single day for two plus years until I moved in with him. Within a very few months he stopped the texting me while I was at work and he began to tell me that I had conned him. I worked 5 nights a week and he didnt have a job. I was the reason he did get his yard work done...my fault. I was constantly apologizing for something. It turned into an unsafe environment for me. Been out 6 mos and I'm thru the trauma bond but now trying to find myself again. I love your videos❤❤❤
"You felt it your entire life. There's something's wrong with the world. You don't know what, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad." -Morpheus, The Matrix
Well said!My family told me"you'll never be good enough for him" meaning that's what they saw him saying.My brother said "He's stringing you along,he doesn't want you but he wants to use you whenever he wants so he doesn't want anyone else to have you either," So glad it's my past.Ty❤
So right, that's why they keep moving. My ex changes his name every couple years. So wierd. Any girl that he was interested in would leave him after meeting me, without me even talking about the past. Just being nice (I'm divorced). This channel is helping so many see the truth about narcissist. Ty Andrew!
Excellent What i have learned from Andrew is this: The early days of joy, happiness, and love were not real. I was being love bombed. I spent fifteen years trying to go back to the good ole days. The good ole days were a con job. By the time I realized my mistake she was carrying my child I should have bailed out but hung in for the kids What I did not realize was the irreparable damage being done. I was following Ephesians 5-31. I followed it. She did not Lesson:listen to your gut. God does not want you to be manipulated or miserable. Get out without delay. The kids will be ok. T😊hanks Andrew. Wish we had met in 1978 before I wasted fifteen years with this pathetic woman.
I want to thank you with all my heart. You helped me to get brave enough to stand up for myself. I am now have moved and it is like a dream but real. I pray for others that with his encouragement and Jesus you will take the steps. It is wonderful to wake up and Know I not going thru what was happening to me.
Thank you Andrew this is exactly how it is. My ex has recently tried to come back yet again and even after two months no contact when I heard from him he started again to get disrespectful, my anxiety and IBS started again, I had been free from this once I had left him, but again he was literally making me ill. They are not human they seem to be possessed by something very sinister. The best thing to do is run away and go no contact.
Hello Andrew,so true,although we have done everything we can to keep this relationship healthy,we find that particularly in the devaluation phase,we are being dropped like a hot potato because we are no longer their usefull idiots to serve their unrealistic high standarts. This is a spiritual battle. Thank you so much. Be blessed!
I was in devaluation stage for most of my 25 year marriage. Sneakiness, text messaging, secret phones, cheating and gaslighting me when he got caught. Over those years, I had documented those incidents in my dayplanners. I was discarded two years ago (for different supply) and recently went back thru those old dayplanners. It clearly shows the abuse cycle -- almost textbook -- including him being engaged already. Was a long road, but I'm glad I'm out. He (they) did me a favor.
Andrew as I always say to you this is exactly what goes on. I was 17 years old, an empath. I knew something was terribly wrong but couldn't figure out what it was. Thank you for opening my eyes. So many years have gone . I know that something good will happen and I will get back all those years by the Grace and Mercy of God. I pray every day for guidance, peace, happiness, prosperity and courage to go forward now that I understand exactly what is happening. May Father God bless us all to our highest good in his world. May our lights shine brightly and beautiful light unto others. Thank God for bringing you into our lives to empower us. 🙏🙏🙏❤❤
Another comment here-as soon as the narcissist realized I was tugging and pulling on that ugly mask of his, the devaluation started, almost immediately upon meeting him in person. So glad I am educated now. Thank you and big blessings, Andrew.
Hi Andrew, hi everyone. The devaluation stage started almost immediately. Because they played the victim I kept thinking maybe I wasn’t doing my part to prove I loved them. And I was only sixteen so I had absolutely no idea.
I hate triangulation also! Ugh 😑 Thanks Andrew you’re awesome 😎! Have a beautiful peaceful evening. God bless you always. You have awesome skills . I pray that everyone will learn to stay away from these type of relationships. You are treasured by your Almighty Creator and He would never want you to be treated this way. God is LOVE! 🇺🇸🤟🏼💙❤️ 🇨🇷
It's to suck your energy and you feel every bit of theirs. Empaths have all these gifts and in the fog those gifts disappear. When you start to block them out your gifts come back and these are life saving gifts. The devaluation stage can be used to wake you up or suck you into a bottomless pit but when your in the bottomless pit of realization and healing childhood wounds your heart hurts and grows again like the grinch. It's totally like the grinch that stole Christmas because you become reactive in the abuse. Your super powers can be used for good or evil. Evil when you let the bullies win just like the grinch. So many movies show you this. The world needs your super powers you need your super powers. Empaths need to learn how to protect themselves. I don't want to repeat the devalue stage anymore. Thank you Andrew for this method you have. I woke up remembering my gifts after doing some healing. Watching grizzly Adam's and being the young girl watching my father go. Sometimes the simple things are powerful reminders. unfortunately the negative energy of people and negative energy deep within ourselves that we haven't worked on can send us in loop of forgetting our true selves and suck us back into a zombie state back to back bighting and spreading this horrible virus 😢 of negative reative yucky and that's not our core nature we have the virus cure inside ourselves you remind us of that daily to rip us out of the fog. It's invasion of the body snachers too.
When I was discarded - it was like a faucet being turned off. Our marriage was made to be a joke, a waste of time for everyone involved. Then to find out it was All just a lie - infuriating ...
I just found this after a 6 year relationship my ex broke up with me and the same day started dating another guy and now she says she's in love with him and she's already slept with him we were together a week ago and all this happened this guy was "just a friend at work" I feel like she was cheating before she left me I'm heart broken this video sums her up..
I know they say the narcissist is treating the new supply the same as us, but the relationship with him was full of verbal/emotional/physical abuse, police, gaslighting, breaking stuff, etc, I was with him a year before he discarded me, he’s been with her two years, how can anyone stand two years of that, it’s utter chaos, this is what makes me think he can’t be the same with her
Andrew your reading is very true. I was married for 42 years with a narssecist.and along appeared nr 2 . He has just vanished in the hay 4 weeks ago.but I am free again.!!jippe at last.!!!
I knew it was a terrible situation. I just couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore. The pain near the end of the relationship was hard to bear. Glad I walked out with the clothes on my back and my meds in my purse! That was 6 months ago and I will not look back. I have come far and feel great. I can sleep 8-9 hours a night now. I have joy everyday. I talk to male friends, but that's all I that do. I'm not ready to be pleasing anyone yet. I can donate my time to where it's better used. I pray for the regular ones on here and any new ones to get the comfort from this channel. Andrew has went down the same path as we have and what he says is so beneficial!
Am in this situation currently, with someone I have been with for three years now. We started as friends and than turned into relationship , and it was beautiful at the start, he was sincere and thoughtful, and shows me so much affection, I thought I was the luckiest woman alive, than one day it’s all it was, he said he was not in love with me anymore, broke my heart I blamed myself, tried to change to have him love me again. And he just kept saying if I wanted him in my life, It would be as friends and nothing more, and I thought I could get him to fall in love with me again, but it got worse. I paid his bills and pleasures for two years over the total of 70 grande, only to be told I wanted to. He never cares about what is going on with me, talks to me daily and it’s always about him. If I try to call out his coldness, it becomes a full on screaming match and insults and down right ugliness comes out, to the point he says he will call the police to get a restraining order on me. Than call me back or text like nothing happened, hardly apologizes and when he does it’s very insincere, and always likes to tell me I play the victim or his new word a martyr. It’s become emotionally draining taking to him, as he treats me like a child and always says, I will talk to you if and when I feel like it, he could hear me sobbing and still not even have a reaction. I still talk to him, because I love him. But he has made me sick, and question my own sanity, I am no longer the person I was before because of him. But still can’t let him go.😢
I went through exactly everything you just talked about. Luckily I got out of it thanks to a lot of help from my friends. Now I understand it, but I didn't at the time. Thank you
Thank you Andrew. Wow, I feel what you're saying viscerally. You are so on point with your observations. It's such a horrible feeling to being told on day one what a life saver you are and being thanked for being in a narcissist's life to seemingly overnight becoming their scapegoat!! I was suddenly becoming accused and blamed for everything going on in this guy's life! It was extremely painful because I really liked this individual and thought we may have a future together, to suddenly made to feel like I was garbage and should feel so honored to being called upon to basically being his slave! I eventually had enough and went no contact with him, and heard through the grapevine of this guy's recent birthday gathering, which was chaotic and in shambles .This guy seemingly has everything..money, houses, nice stuff. But he admitted to me he HAS NO FRIENDS!! I can see why! I am so truly grateful that I am not a part of this guy's life anymore!
They will take and take and take until there's nothing left of yourself. It is a whole kind of hell in and of itself. And until you do the hard work (which is SOOOO WORTH IT so don't give up) to free yourself of it will keep repeating because you're not yet aware of what's happening. Keep watching videos like this because I feel like I'm towards the end of the healing and it's a different world, one where you're not stressed out every second of your waking life, followed by sleep that is another repeat. I used to relive the daily torture in dreams... that was so fun...LOL. But don't give up because you can know who you are again (still working on that) and you can do it...don't give up!
i discovered it just recently because two of my friends (later on even more ppl said it) that have been in narcisitic relationships, heared everything i was going through because i talked to hem about my pain, my doubts about him about myself, all the feelings i had during this relationship and what happend , then they told me sweetie what you tell me sounds like he is a narcisist. I was first like no way!! He can't be because i knew a tiny bit about Overt Narcisme the classic one. And he was not like that. But i started to listen to youtube video's about other forms of narcissism and found a video about covert narcisist. And i was like omg i now understand why very quickly i myself felt there is something wrong here but i could not put my finger on it. All puzzle pieces started to fall into place. But because they totally make you doubt and confused about alot of things, i still sometimes feel a tiny bit of doubt if he is a narcisist or not. He discarded me 3 weeks ago. But the doubt maybe is just that i don't want it to be true or because i never want to judge someone wrongly about something. But all the signs were there if i look back. All the red flags i ignored. All the times i gave him the benefit of the doubt. He was SO subtle and sneaky i never guessed he was a narcisist. Me as a highly sensitive person, highly empathatic fell for it even though i felt for month things were off and not ok but i doubted my intuition. I was the perfect supply for him. I completey lost myself in this relationship that my son warned me about it. He told me mom, it is not going ok with you. You are not Mettina anymore you are just partner off him. All the things you worked on is totally gone. You have to get out of that relationship its toxic. I thought it was all my trauma's from the past and i was the most insecure person there was. I even considered going back to therapy to work on myself. Yes i have some vulnerabiliteis but he blew them up 10 fold. Like i was beginning to think i was crazy. Omg the subtle way he did this was insane. Sorry for my not perfect english im from the Netherlands :)
It’s hard to ignore… that they may be the problem… it’s easier to say : let me be the one who’s wrong… so I just could work on it…. That’s what we often do as empath…
I just found your channel a few days ago thank you so much for what your doing I've never heard someone who I feel really understands so well and makes me have hope thank you for letting me know i am not alone and I can get over this nightmare thank you
I felt the same way when I found this channel. I was like, what? This is amazing that he can put in words my whole experience with the narcissist. I cried actually because for the first time I knew someone else got it. Very validating. Keep watching, his videos will help you and your family and friends understand what you've been thru (that is if the narcissist didn't totally isolate you and smear you so badly like they do, if so take hope. The truth always comes out) God bless!!! ❤🙏👍
The only comforting thing is that they will have to deal with the reality that THEY will never be what THEY pretend to be , and that surely must be a living hell ,..the ultimate form of karma ! 🙏🙏
You are spot on when discussing narcissistic abuse. I really enjoy your talks. You make me realize it probably wasn’t me all that time. I was always trying to fix it by changing myself. Made it 20 years in a narcissistic marriage that ended after I had a massive stroke and wasn’t bringing in money anymore.
I am so sorry you went through that. Just know that it was not you. Narcs love you for what you can give them. It's really hard to understand bc we love unconditionally. I had a similar experience with my mom and sister discarding me after I was injured on the job and could no longer work. I didn't know that they were only pretending to care bc of what I could give them. They always made fun of me for being "too generous" (a red flag I missed) and then dropped me when I could no longer afford to do those things.
Watching this for the 2nd time (at least!) working my way through as many videos as possible. Every single one shows me I am not alone and keeps me pointed in the direction I need to be moving in. That is priceless because I sometimes still question myself about my situation. Why? No idea. That's why I stay focused and keep watching. Thank You Andrew.🙏❣️🙏
The discard is the worse after the devaluation stage. Of course by that time, they have used you for whatever you had to offer. Interestingly, it's not always sex, it may be your skills or talents. In my case, I gave thousands of dollars away of professional services away to him. The only reason he paid anything because I would block him and then he would see, magically, how valuable I was. Once the case was over, I was discarded. It is a huge letdown to know I was used but the good thing is that i wanted to help his love one and felt led by God to do it. I did and she's in a great place. I am finished with him. He discarded me right after the case was done. I will emerge stronger and wiser. I wish him the best. Lesson learned. Love and blessings to you all. It happens to the best of us. It is not you. It is them. Emerge stronger!
You got that right! Once you've experienced a narcissist, you can take that pain and transform it into wisdom. That you are being devalued by another human is not something that is a truth about you. Given a "higher view". Yes?
you are amazing, sharing such clear and simple insight. once you know, you cannot 'unsee' - helps to sift through what is real and what is smoke and mirrors. Thank you! ❤️
Don't let up on the devaluation at all he goes to his family and tells me he has nobody to speak to and they talk to me it's pulling on him now his family is wondering about him not me now
I remember towards the end of this nightmare relationship he told me he likes women who wear high heals all the time because he thinks it's sexy. Then proceeds to tell me I should start doing that, even while grocery shopping. Omg the energy to appease this person was terrible. Nothing was ever good enough.
I agree with others. I appreciate your videos. I am now in a happy relationship but have so many wounds to heal. These videos are helping me heal. I thought he was romantic and sweet. I didn’t realize he was a covert Narc and yes he got me hooked on me. And yes he devalued me so bad I was left with no self esteem. Thank you Andrew for taking the time for making these videos!!
Well said. Me too, I had to erase the lies of devaluation and remember who I am and what I am worth is not based on what anyone says about me but God. And God loves me, learning to love myself again. I get it. Praying for you! ❤🙏👍
Was in another friendship with this woman who claimed to be awakened ,got to know after 2 half yrs , then found out was in a triangulation situation ,the mask fell she immediately got defensive and ghosted me ,was in a long term abusive relationship prior toughened me up for such situations ,I believe in the old cleashay Rejection Is God's Protection ,and I thank God for this ,the penny dropped on the devaluation stage in this relationship this video ,God Bless Andrew .
I was so completely utterly in love and helpless… And I still have moments where I think… Well maybe… But everything you said would happen did… I was so broken my heart was shattered… I don’t remember ever crying this much over anything or anyone ever… And it just got worse and I hung on and it got worse until I couldn’t anymore… He brought in a third-party… And I want to warn her, but there’s a part of me that is so angry that that happened to me that I don’t want to tell her… And there’s nothing she would believe about that anyway because I didn’t wanna believe it either
I wish I was warned. Now, initially I would have been highly dubious and dismissive of the warning. However, when all those red flags started to pop up all over the place, rather than glossing over them because of my good nature and the want to believe otherwise, there would have been a voice inside reminding me of the warnings. If the warnings mirrored what was transpiring in the relationship, I would most certainly have been more suspicious and/or alert. But that's just me.
Mine was a coworker who I began to see through his lies. A controlling freak from hell he tried to control my online activity, when I asked from help a couple of times he didnt listen and mainly watched everyone else do the work. What was more disturbing was him trying to figure out when and where I go and then coping exactly where I was going to be. No one believes me, he tell lies better then I can tell the truth, grrrrrrrr.
@@aLightShines I am a proud outspoken cycle breaker. I am loud and determined and I will be heard. I appreciate your love a d support it helps me keep yelling the truth of love and acceptance
Hey there Andrew, my narc sis would sometimes tell me she loves me...but i just didnt feel it from her. Its just lip service..to keep me in alignment with her. These people are Always calculating 24/7. She knows how to manipulate people, its like she has a built in radar, its scarey. I used to think "here's the next victim" every single time she met someone new. She puts on her Charming Friendly mask...and eventually it falls off because they can only hold it up for so long, then their True self is shown..and watch out. The good news is, there's something called Karma, and i know a big slap in her face is coming for her. Your a really big help Andrew 😇 God Bless U Always ✨
"Never forget how they gave you distance, when you needed love" Everyday no contact the fog clears and I feel somewhat stronger, but I'm not sure I'll ever truly get over this. I don't think I can forget the times where I spent days questioning what I'd done wrong because all of a sudden he was 'too busy' to speak and I was getting the silent treatment. He was so emotionally cruel...saying things he knew would hurt me and making it into a joke, or just staring at me with no emotion, almost hostility at times that I was crying over the horrible situation. I feel like all I ever was was a game, and I can't understand how people do this to others with no remorse.. just get on with their day to day lives like they haven't done a thing wrong. So grateful to find videos like this. Thank you 🤍
It should be declared a Crime Against Humanity .
It is as far as I'm concerned. May God have mercy
Jail them.
It is, that’s why it’s a hidden disorder that no one really understands. The more we do the more we convict them by removing them from our lives, which is why the world is so upside down right now the energy they steal from us is being redirected and redistributed through Gods grace and love to fix and repair what they destroyed and they are spinning out of control seeing their curse reversed and cleared. Stay strong empaths!!
Manipulation kept me hooked in. They did their stuff and blamed me. I never measured up to his expectations. Nothing was ever good enough. Never any happiness for him. Miserable, heartless person going through life destroying others.
A little crumb here and there to keep you running and hoping things will change, they never do.
If you are in an abusive relationship, get out now. It will never change. Love yourself enough to stop being tortured.
Thanks, Cindy.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯
I was, with a prominent psychiatrist no less. He wanted to marry me. One shove because dinner wasn't made in time was enough to freak me out. I went to a support group for abused women and those women were completely depleted and destroyed. They were in complete agony. Just 1 meeting and I saw my future. Perfect remedy and complete healing witnessing what my future held in store for me if I stayed.
Highly recommend this for anyone getting ensnared.
@@animaladvocate8938 , thanks for sharing this. This will help a lot of people.
Glad you use the word "crumb." Because, now, the phrase "BEING BREAD-CRUMBED" is being passed on to the next generation. At least knowledge is getting passed around about how to keep people from going through what I or others went through so easily
I'm still trying to get my health back. We empaths are better off without them. All they do is take, take, take and they are never happy, no one could ever be good enough for them. God bless you Andrew!!
Agree, 💯💫
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯
You can't please them. You knock yourself out and bend over backwards for them with absolutely no acknowledgement, rather, to the contrary: They whine to every one about how you never help them. Trying to maintain a relationship with them is pure insanity.
@@TYGZus777 ......I'm a crazy fool to tolerate my own child.
Breezy I One Up with you in that comment , and the Hits keep on coming. I'm glad my record player broke 6 mths ago, and I found this channel. Now I do my own song and dance. I've been so good at it I finally figured out how to leave without the 3rd and 4 devaluation onslaught. I wised up to the puppet on a String tactic and piled on the Edu: Once I got my self esteem back, got back my friends, my family and stopped the isolation tactics. Any one can crawl their way out of similar situations. Don't run at first though, use your noggings, PLAN. Oh and always remember they got new supply B, just around any given corner. ❤️
I woke up 30+ years later...I'm happy I escaped with my mind, soul, and heart intact. Healing stage. Thankful:)
🙌☀️💪🙏
Narcissists don't have conversations, ever, they conduct interviews and collect information they can secretly weaponise against you.
It's amazing how we can know something really well, and then along comes some new information or a different description (thank you Andrew) and suddenly understanding deepens, another penny drops.
During the love bombing stage we are unwittingly falling in love with a reflection of the best parts of ourself that we are unconscious of and subconsciously projecting onto the narcissist. The narcissist, who is almost always in stealth mode, is withholding all of their own projections and reflecting back at you the appearance of the information they are gathering while interviewing their current target, you.
In the devaluation stage you may notice the narc angrily or passive aggressively accusing you of many of the things that they are doing themselves but refuse to acknowledge. That is their projection at work.
Often the faults in others that bother us the most are the faults we can't see in ourselves. Or conversely . The traits and attributes that we admire the most in others are the things we can't see in ourselves or have been trained to disown and suppress.
True introspection is very difficult for everyone. Go within anyway, and embrace who you truly are, the magnificence of you, in humility, awe and Love, reject the hell of the narcissists projection and leave them to their own toxic delusions.
💯right
lol Anything you say can and will be used against you. I learned that early on in life.
Thank you for sharing this insight 💯🙏🙌
@@Audrey-rb2nf Thats what He often said to me… I never realy no way…. But now I know that’s what he does!!!
Well said.
They devalue you because you have stood up to them and have called them out. They can’t stand peoples flaws even though they are full of them. They then look for someone else to fool who adores them in the beginning to get their fix. They too will be devalued.
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My devaluation! This is what gets to me. People can’t understand and I’m not going to explain 35 plus years of my life in a narcissistic relationship to those who do not understand. One day I will relocate where no one knows me. It’s difficult! Some days I mourn in secret. I have goals and I will fulfill them.
Zulema Rojas, bless you and your journey.
I was in for many many years. It does happen because they have rewired our brains with the non stop narcissism. But Andrew gives 💯 validation. I wouldn’t be able to explain without his help. 💪🏼💪🏼
Keep being fabulous!💙
@@Star-ze8dh Andrew is the best! I could never forget him. How could I! If it weren’t for this channel I would have been in the dark on narcissism. I love Andrew! He took the veil off my eyes! I can never forget him!
@@zulemaflores8796 💯💪🏼💪🏼 He’s an 😇
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌
Your knowledge is specific and powerful. A couple of decades have passed since my narcissist tragedy and I'm happily married now, but listening to you has brought all of the abuse into clear perspective. Now I think about it every day which bothered me at first - I honestly felt I had moved on and barely gave it a thought. But now I see where I got stuck in life, how far I've come and I can now finalize my closure. Few people have the courage to lay it all out the way you do, it requires vulnerability, acceptance of defeat and the ability to carry on despite the damage. Much respect to you.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯😊🙌☀️
Much respect indeed 😊
He is amazing!!!
Amen mine is 5 months ago but they still try to but I am so glad I took the steps to get out. I don't have to deal with it 24 hours of the day like I did. It is awesome to wake up in the morning now
Unfortunately I lost my identity. I had such a bad experience that I put up a wall and never let another person in to have another relationship. Eight years later and at 56 years old I’m alone. Not one therapist explained to me what you have in just a few videos. Thankyou Andrew. Still learning. Being an empath is hard,and I had no confidence in myself to be able to feel I would pick a good partner after attracting three narcissistic men. I was bashed by all of them and ended up in hospital. I think I’m healed then I see a video like this and feel sad and alone. But I will say I’ve learnt a lot and have found my happiness in spirituality. Great video ,love and kind regards from Australia 🌻
I know how you feel. 😢
Love from Austria❤
Did you find yourself again?
It makes it hard to trust new people. Hold on to the debit cards & your car keys 🔑 good evening to all.
🥰💯night🌠
🙏💯🙌
I totally agree 💯✌️❤️🙏🏽
Yes that's true 🔑 and debit cards hold on to them.
Very hard to trust men now for sure! I try to find peace being alone in peace snuggling with my cat 🐈⬛
During the love bombing stage when it feels so good , like this is the one person you were always looking for , you are just being mirrored by the Narc. In other words they are only reflecting back what you are giving them. So in essence you are actually falling in love with yourself . It's very bizarre but that is what's happening, there is in fact nothing on the other side , it's just you being reflected back to yourself which is why it feels like true love.
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Your description is very good and yet I can still not fathom this mechanism. Could we please elaborate more on this projection? Perhaps Andrew has already made a video on this; I'll search for it.
If you must interact with a narcissist for any reason, it is the best not to take them seriously. Try to always remember that you are not dealing with a psychologically healthy person. It is their disorder that facilitates their nasty, demeaning behavior , however they do know better.
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌😉
Their stories and never ending lies are absolutely so easy to spot. They love an audience. But no one is ever as amazing as they are. Its entertaining if you keep your witts about you.
Too bad more people don't listen to your they know better assessment about them. I know this too, and I really get fed up with people making excuses about the allegedly bad childhood or whatever for them. What happens, whatever the case is, is that it's victim is making excuses for more abuse by doing that! I'm not trying to "victim blame" here, but those people AREN'T VICTIMS (as much as they are ENABLERS OR FLYING MONKEYS.);Types like those are absolute enemies to all mankind!
@@Scott-nr2ji , yes I agree that narcissists are a huge problem for all of humanity. Narcissistic abuse can lead to illness and untimely death for some of the targets. Certainly to a reduction in the quality of life, if you need deal with this largely pointless control obsession and weirdness of a narcissist on a daily level.
I would like to add for those of you starting your journey to healing, keep at it. Have faith. You WILL recover. As the fog clears, You will have fresh, clean, new space in your minds, lots of room for new thoughts, new plans, and peaceful happiness. Keep the faith, always. Blessings, Andrew.
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Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌
I dearly hope this!!
Yes @Eileem Allen: Your words give hope to us who not yet has come there in our mood
Maybe You have seen my notice here at the Chanel "You Are Not Alone"? ... so I don't gonna repeat it but I'm a living proof (us many us are of course!) that WHEN You left them (or the narc left You) - DO NOT GO BACK to them! NEVER. I did once but I left again so I discarded the narc twice and I never regret one second that I left him Well it was 1 year and 9 month for now that I left him (after totally 12 years of abuse) and nowadays I understand why I get hoover back to him too. It wan't happen again cause of @Andrew's videos and some other educated people and literature of narc behavior I'm educated me so much that I can see that toxic relationship "with wide open eyes" and could see the pattern of what the narc did - and of course my own co-dependent behavior in it too.
But it get better and better everyday day since I left and today I don't care of him or what he is doing nowadays - not a bit. He has tried to hoover me some times the latest was in April this year but I did not responded so for now I think and suppose he is busy with another "victim". He is a musican (famous one too) and he has a lot of jobs/gigs going on now in the summer so he is too buzy to hunting me 😂That is good for me😎
@@tathe3786 I'm 10.9 years out. I cried, sobbed, almost died, but I made it. Give it time, and DO NOT TAKE THE NARC BACK. I read self help books, I was in Therapy, and watched these videos. Now when I think of him, I don't feel LOVE...I don't MISS him, but I won't forget. You will all be fine. Just remember. it will take TIME..GOD BLESS YOU ALL!! ❤💙💙
Love your analogy “Moving Goalposts”. Whatever you do is never enough.
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At first we met a narcissist disguised as a saint . And then we got to know the demon who wanted our souls . You can only be that cruel to hurt someone that was so loving and trusting .
The narc is a nomad , here there and everywhere causing carnage .. 💙
🙏🙌💯😉
The confusion of those days of devaluation...I just didn't understand. Thank God for growing narc awareness.
💡💡💯🙌
Narcissist BLAME you for EVERYTHING that goes wrong. You will not be able to reason with them for they are not reasonable! Do not think that you can tell them how their actions are affecting you and that they will do anything different. DO NOT EXPECT TO BE ABLE TO TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL AND THINK THEY WILL UNDERSTAND. THEY DONT CARE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Exactly
So true...I was blamed for the weather. He was mad at me if it rained when we planned something. Unbelievable
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They are far from being human ❤️✌️🙏🏽
It surely does take a toll on your health, mentally & emotionally. I was looking back over some old photos one day and come across a picture of myself, I didn't even recognize me! I was skin-n-bones, but I remember during that time how much he kept telling me I was fat. I had such low-self esteem. How could I have been so duped?! That's why I love your videos, Andrew. Everything you cover is spot on. And your're right, awareness & knowledge is the key. Narcissist never change, but we can, and we do once we know the Truth about them.
😉💯🙏
The thing that got me is you don't notice they get you on their schedule during the love bomb stage and then you're hooked and then here comes the subtle devaluation and triangulation... It's sneaky as hell man.
You ain't wrong mate and the scary thing is they all do the same thing it's like these people are reading from a script, stay safe mate protect yourself
@@camgray5662 they really do follow the same playbook. I appreciate it. you stay safe too 🤙🏻
Insidious
@@camgray5662 , -different situations, but same script because narcs do the things they do instinctively.
You got it 👌
I am so thankful for this video.
To everyone, when the narc starts tearing you down, think - what kind of a person says that? Can you even imagine yourself saying those things they said? You'd never! Pro tip - don't get so dragged down that you say those things back to the narc to "win" because they want you to stoop to their level. They will love it if you say something yucky! They are setting you up to do that! You are made of love.
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IN THE DEVALUATION STAGE, YOU BECOME 'A THING' TO BE USED
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They do love "new" and with it revolving doors are required. Devaluation can happen daily, weekly, through circumstance, or season. I saw the Narcissist throw away great potential, completely destroy it; when just the basics of professionalism and kindness could have spared them. It's awful when we internalize THEIR dysfunction... we don't understand the situation and try to compensate in various ways. Whenever some garbage was going down, something was later revealed- drug use, a relapse, some serious claims of infidelity or big troubles with someone else. Oddly enough they wouldn't know what to do without the chaos. The problem is, they want to blame and hurt you for all of it. And when you are gone, someone else gets to be the target... always a rotation of targets.
Rotation in deed...
HI .
THIS IS WHY I NEED MI FAMILIA ALONG EITH MI AMIGO. I NEED YOUR COMMENTS VERY IMPORTANT IN THIS JOURNEY.THANK YOU I WILL EMBRACE TRUTH. I HAVE MI FAMILIA HERE ND YOUR WISDOM IS SO USED. IAM.BEAUTIFUL,AMAZING,AND LOTS OF LOVE.. I THAN GOD FOR THAT.IAM A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER,LOVE ND RESPECT OTHERS AND GRACE IS ONE OF MY BEAUTY.LOVE LEARNING ND UNDERSTANDIG....
THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN.GOOD NITE.
Yes, 💫💯
Simply saying they are really crazy and paranoid. Dangerous!!!!!!!!!!!
@@DanielaPerez-yp1gb YES. YOU ARE 💯 RIGHT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOU COMMENT AMIGA. GOD KEEP YOU ALWAYS.
I’m so done trying to “get back where I was”.
I told him, “that girl is dead and you killed her”. At this point I’m beating him at his own game and he doesn’t even know it💪🏼👍🏼😂until I have a chance to get away safely😎it feels sooooo goooood🥰
🙌🙏😉💯💪
They can do their worst, I’d expect nothing less.
Probably the most cruel situation ever. Because the heart aches like hell. A punch in the face is obvious. And we get away from that person. The devaluation is often hidden and slow and the side effects are worse than the punch. Worse.
I hope everyone gets out as soon as possible from the spinning system of these pathetic creatures. They are so many like coakroaches. Did I spell it right?
Anyway they are everywhere. Literally. They are the real pandemic. Narc pandemic.
God bless us all.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💪
I used to tell my narc whenever I am devalued that we can both be nice to each other and it can become a beautiful marriage. His reply was always "I am happy. I don't want to change anything." Due to my lack of awareness, I used to get puzzled at his response.
When you say no, or put a boundary, get ready of a devaluation.
Or rage fits......
Or victim playing
All of this is soooOoo true. My mom did this to me for decades and it was horrible. I barely made it out. I will say this, I use to think I was one of the cool kids in her circle of trust when I was actually the one on the out skirts. Watch out for the lying, that feeling of things are quite right with people like this. They will involve others in your relationship and play those people back and forth against you. The worst is the constant abuse. Sometimes it’s so clear. Other times, it sneaks up on you. The smear campaign is really a tough one. It’s so upsetting and painful because you can never win. You can never regain your balance. My health, bank account, well being & relationships took a huge hit. RUn away from this. YOu just don’t need it.
I appreciate you sharing this insight 🙏🙌💯
Yes Andrew the devaluation stage can go on for decades, it did for me and I consider myself an intelligent woman. I lost my son (not his son) to murder in 2017 and I believe now that my vulnerability just made it so much easier for my ex to whittle me down to absolutely nothing even though I gave everything despite my overwhelming grief. The discard then came out of the blue with no warning and it was only my intuition and an overwhelming sense of impending doom (exactly like when my son went missing, just before his body was found) that I cornered my ex and literally made him tell me what was going on and there it was - he had been orchestrating the sale of our business (I didn't know), told me he didn't want to do another 20 years with me and that we had to sell our family home (Our son is still at school) WHO DOES THAT. WHO DOES THAT TO A WOMAN WHO LOST A 26 YEAR OLD SON TO MURDER, WHO PUTS A 17 YEAR OLD YOUNG MAN INTO ABSOLUTE TURMOIL). Someone who is diabolical, disgusting and evil, that is who does that! 6 months tomorrow is the anniversary of the discard where I fell to my knees begging the bastard to reconsider! I have never encountered such cruelty! I am now informed, working towards getting my share of settlement despite the antics and lies. I appreciate this community so much (I have lost my community as the business is ours, however he is the DIRECTOR). I don't feel alone! Thank you Andrew, thank you everyone! 💖
Hang on Sister.. you will heal but it takes a long time so be patient with yourself and forgive yourself for not seeing what was happening to you. We’re all surviving and survivors here! Forgive yourself and forgive the punishment your narc deserves- humans are not meant to harbor revenge. Forgive and boundaries way up while you heal. God bless you and keep you
@@tylerthornton3107 Thank you, much respect to you!
I'm so sorry, for your loss❤🙏your exnarc, pure evil💯sending blessings, strength and love to you🥰
@@stacydauterman5122 Thank you so much, your message means a lot. This community that Andrew has created is a life saver! I will get there, wherever there is!!! I guess it is quite the adventure here on in and one towards peace!
@@hotscorpiorouge I lost a childhood friend of mine, to murder, rape, when we were seniors in high school, some years ago! Losing someone, when they come up missing, like my friend, and your son, not something to get over, but you get through it, we definitely don't need any toxic people around us. We have to keep moving forward, surround ourselves with genuine, people❤🙏💯
Their whole purpose is to ultimately get you under their evil spell.
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I was "gotten" when I had just been dumped from a long term relationship. I was at my most vulnerable being so down and I was made to think I'd met my soulmate - by being mirrored.
He took 300 photos, during the holiday, close to devaluation. So he could look at them, and start the devaluation process. He was a pro. He made sure I was caught unexpected, or not smiling at my best. So he could sit alone and pick me to pieces. He crafted his skill to be really ready for discard. These and an argument cemented the deal of discard. Even though he had rage fits and severe controlling behaviour, I forgave the whole time. Me trusting and him hateful cunning.
This reminds me of Amber Heard taking pictures of Johnny Depp. She probably even posed him. 😑
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯
@Sag deine Meinung auch pol Thank you and welcome. All the best to you,
@@Star-ze8dh Wow! Yes true.
Yes those psycho narcissist use their mind and us, like playing chess. Been a Empath help me out a lot, i knew every move, i loss a lot at the beginning of the relationship, but by the end, Lord i make sure he knew i knew, game over, even playing pool i won!! I started fixing my hair really good, dressing nicer , even wear 2piece the last time we went to the beach, he was in discontent, and he even ask me why, i ask him why not? I got what it takes, he even told me i was too old, i told him his jealously was too obvious, to just let's enjoy the moment . For his misfortune, the day he left he try to sneak out, i was not home, he call me saying he got lock out of the house, and he was on a grave yard that's several miles away from the house, i ask him if he was planing his funeral? He said just thinking.. i took my sweet time, notice that some of his stuff were already in the car, and said let me help you because i already knew.But still those actions shows how sick they are.. Andrew as always, thanks a million that even on a Sunday you are committed to the awareness of this cold-blooded narcs . Namaste, Be bless..
Namaste 🙏 🙏🙌
As I listen to your video it sounds exactly like my experience exactly! When I was in it I knew something was wrong but did not know anything about Narcissism! It gives me such a sick feeling in my stomach to now know how predictable their manipulation is. This is so bang on to what I endured it is undeniable! Sickening that this is happening to so many other people! Thank you for shining the light on this and helping to educate the masses🙏
Welcome 🙏💯🙌💪🙌
Me too Donna, so interesting when Andrew said they can’t love, I now understand that, I see it all.
They suck you in, and hang on and wear you down. They have no respect for you, that really hit home.
For me this went on for decades, I didn’t know what a narcissist was. 🤷♀️ I called him out in the end, It went right over his head. There’s no winning with these people.
100%
At first it's love like u have never felt before, I was amazing, everything he wanted and has been looking for, we liked all the same things , hobbies, I was kind, helpful , cared for others ,always took pride in my appearance, then boom, I wanted to do my hobbies TOO much, not spend enough time with him, I wasn't loving enough, towards HIM , too caring towards others even if I dressed up it wasn't dressed up enough for HIM, then started the, I was a cheater, if I wanted time with my friends it was so I could cheat, couldn't see my friends or family because if I did it meant I didn't love HIM, couldn't go anywhere without him , then the bullying, taking my keys so I couldn't go out, blocking doorways if I tried, holding me down , I left! Then boom back to lovebomb, plz come back ill change , he cried he begged, I went back , boom back to devalue, and there u are in a cycle of abuse !
They are the worst waste of oxygen ...
The one told me he s wasting oxygene here on earth 😂 did he tell the truth 😛
Thank you for sharing this insight 🙏🙌💯💯
Went through the same thing
Same cycle with my narc, left him with my baby 16 years ago
I'm so happy I found you. I finally feel not alone and understood
Me too 🙏🙌😊
This is so sick, my boundaries are up, and I am educating, a family member as well, to keep boundaries up, having discovered another narc, triangulating another family member. I have to protect my family member, my 80 year old mom, who I love. Boundaries up! Namaste, peace, love, strength💯🙏❤🌟🌟🌟
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ENETY, STANDS WITH YOU IN PRAYER.MI AMIGA. GOD HONORS THOSE THAT HONOR THEIR PARENTS "MOHTER".THAT IS A FACT.!!!
@@Julie-tr4ug Thank you🥰and this is after having shared parenting with a narc, still worn out from it, and now a family member🙏Bless you
@@enetyjones4303 Thank you, mi amiga, blessings to you, appreciate you❤💯🙏
Parenting and coparenting with one till the kids are adults yes and I applaud your light and love.
As we could tell the differences our children will be able to tell the differences.
..trusting in that is helpful.
They will know your heart through the dust you know 🫠🙏
Always used me for attention of others and made out they were helping me , degraded me
So well said, Andrew. I am beginning to fully understand what happened to me and why. I am finally able to separate myself emotionally from what happened--a very hard thing to do. It all rings true. Thank you for the help and support to give to all of us on the healing path. Blessings always.
Welcome 🙏🙌💯
You nailed it again, Andrew, especially your statements of fact regarding how they like "new" things. To them, people are just things. Thankful for these powerful words of confirmation. They are so helpful for those of us surviving in the aftermath of incideous, tenacious, boundary-busting, controlling narcissistic type people.
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The new things are trophies and symbols of their success
I was the supplier until i ran out of money, then she discarded me like an old worn out pair of shoes.
In the end I soared to new heights and she is still in living sickly and miserable and alone.
It is called Karma.
it took me 10 years to finally wake up and finally get rid of this person once and for all...i literally had no soul left but channels like these help,,,,always remember you are not alone and you are survivor like me,,,,you are a good person
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The devaluation stage is always so confusing, brutal and disappointing. But once you figure these ppl out, u begin to excitedly wait for the day they kick your a$$ to the curb..
I raised 3 kids and he called me 'useless' (projecting) his biggest concern was me worshipping his equally pyscho narc 'mother' he wanted me to worship her while she mistreated me because she saw me as the 'other woman' I could write a book on those 2 demons.
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯🙏
My ex and I talked or text every single day for two plus years until I moved in with him. Within a very few months he stopped the texting me while I was at work and he began to tell me that I had conned him. I worked 5 nights a week and he didnt have a job. I was the reason he did get his yard work done...my fault. I was constantly apologizing for something. It turned into an unsafe environment for me. Been out 6 mos and I'm thru the trauma bond but now trying to find myself again. I love your videos❤❤❤
Thank you Andrew wise words as always
Welcome 🙏 🙌☀️
💯🥳🙌🏻☝🏻
"You felt it your entire life. There's something's wrong with the world. You don't know what, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad."
-Morpheus, The Matrix
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Well said!My family told me"you'll never be good enough for him" meaning that's what they saw him saying.My brother said "He's stringing you along,he doesn't want you but he wants to use you whenever he wants so he doesn't want anyone else to have you either," So glad it's my past.Ty❤
So right, that's why they keep moving. My ex changes his name every couple years. So wierd. Any girl that he was interested in would leave him after meeting me, without me even talking about the past. Just being nice (I'm divorced). This channel is helping so many see the truth about narcissist. Ty Andrew!
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Excellent
What i have learned from Andrew is this:
The early days of joy, happiness, and love were not real. I was being love bombed.
I spent fifteen years trying to go back to the good ole days.
The good ole days were a con job. By the time I realized my mistake she was carrying my child
I should have bailed out but hung in for the kids
What I did not realize was the irreparable damage being done. I was following Ephesians 5-31.
I followed it. She did not
Lesson:listen to your gut. God does not want you to be manipulated or miserable.
Get out without delay. The kids will be ok.
T😊hanks Andrew. Wish we had met in 1978 before I wasted fifteen years with this pathetic woman.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🙌💯☀️
Wow! "They are all looking for someone who is flawless"...they are all looking for JESUS!
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I want to thank you with all my heart. You helped me to get brave enough to stand up for myself. I am now have moved and it is like a dream but real. I pray for others that with his encouragement and Jesus you will take the steps. It is wonderful to wake up and Know I not going thru what was happening to me.
Welcome always 🙏🙌☀️
Thank you Andrew this is exactly how it is. My ex has recently tried to come back yet again and even after two months no contact when I heard from him he started again to get disrespectful, my anxiety and IBS started again, I had been free from this once I had left him, but again he was literally making me ill. They are not human they seem to be possessed by something very sinister. The best thing to do is run away and go no contact.
Welcome always 🙌💯💪☀️💯
you will work harder, but they wont acknowledge any of it, not a word, nothing verbally, you will just get nothing but a blank empty stare
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Exactly 🙏
Devaluation is the bridge between a lie and the truth... you don't matter
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This is beyond true they don't realize you know what is going on don't need them
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Reconnaissance that’s exactly right, spot on!!!
Hello Andrew,so true,although we have done everything we can to keep this relationship healthy,we find that particularly in the devaluation phase,we are being dropped like a hot potato because we are no longer their usefull idiots to serve their unrealistic high standarts. This is a spiritual battle. Thank you so much. Be blessed!
Welcome 🙏💯🙌
I hear you now 🎧
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I was in devaluation stage for most of my 25 year marriage. Sneakiness, text messaging, secret phones, cheating and gaslighting me when he got caught. Over those years, I had documented those incidents in my dayplanners. I was discarded two years ago (for different supply) and recently went back thru those old dayplanners. It clearly shows the abuse cycle -- almost textbook -- including him being engaged already. Was a long road, but I'm glad I'm out. He (they) did me a favor.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌
Everything you said is exactly the way it goes. Thank you Andrew ❤
You are so welcome😊💯☀️
Thankyou💙🙏🏼.. one week no contact☝🏼🪓
Welcome 💯💪🙌🙏
Andrew as I always say to you this is exactly what goes on. I was 17 years old, an empath. I knew something was terribly wrong but couldn't figure out what it was.
Thank you for opening my eyes. So many years have gone . I know that something good will happen and I will get back all those years by the Grace and Mercy of God. I pray every day for guidance, peace, happiness, prosperity and courage to go forward now that I understand exactly what is happening.
May Father God bless us all to our highest good in his world. May our lights shine brightly and beautiful light unto others.
Thank God for bringing you into our lives to empower us. 🙏🙏🙏❤❤
Another comment here-as soon as the narcissist realized I was tugging and pulling on that ugly mask of his, the devaluation started, almost immediately upon meeting him in person. So glad I am educated now. Thank you and big blessings, Andrew.
Hi Andrew, hi everyone. The devaluation stage started almost immediately. Because they played the victim I kept thinking maybe I wasn’t doing my part to prove I loved them. And I was only sixteen so I had absolutely no idea.
I hate triangulation also! Ugh 😑
Thanks Andrew you’re awesome 😎!
Have a beautiful peaceful evening. God bless you always. You have awesome skills . I pray that everyone will learn to stay away from these type of relationships. You are treasured by your Almighty Creator and He would never want you to be treated this way. God is LOVE! 🇺🇸🤟🏼💙❤️ 🇨🇷
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙌☀️🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone you’re so welcome always. I’m sorry anyone would ever want to hurt you/us 🤟🏼
Oh my sister i feel you
thank you so much.
Thank we are not alone.
@@enetyjones4303 Thank you! Stay strong 💪🏼
It's to suck your energy and you feel every bit of theirs. Empaths have all these gifts and in the fog those gifts disappear. When you start to block them out your gifts come back and these are life saving gifts. The devaluation stage can be used to wake you up or suck you into a bottomless pit but when your in the bottomless pit of realization and healing childhood wounds your heart hurts and grows again like the grinch. It's totally like the grinch that stole Christmas because you become reactive in the abuse. Your super powers can be used for good or evil. Evil when you let the bullies win just like the grinch. So many movies show you this. The world needs your super powers you need your super powers. Empaths need to learn how to protect themselves. I don't want to repeat the devalue stage anymore. Thank you Andrew for this method you have. I woke up remembering my gifts after doing some healing. Watching grizzly Adam's and being the young girl watching my father go. Sometimes the simple things are powerful reminders. unfortunately the negative energy of people and negative energy deep within ourselves that we haven't worked on can send us in loop of forgetting our true selves and suck us back into a zombie state back to back bighting and spreading this horrible virus 😢 of negative reative yucky and that's not our core nature we have the virus cure inside ourselves you remind us of that daily to rip us out of the fog. It's invasion of the body snachers too.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯😌
When I was discarded - it was like a faucet being turned off. Our marriage was made to be a joke, a waste of time for everyone involved. Then to find out it was All just a lie - infuriating ...
I just found this after a 6 year relationship my ex broke up with me and the same day started dating another guy and now she says she's in love with him and she's already slept with him we were together a week ago and all this happened this guy was "just a friend at work" I feel like she was cheating before she left me I'm heart broken this video sums her up..
Sending healing energy and strength 🙏💯🙌☀️
So tragic, but, enlightening to face the truth 🙏🙏🙏💛
I know they say the narcissist is treating the new supply the same as us, but the relationship with him was full of verbal/emotional/physical abuse, police, gaslighting, breaking stuff, etc, I was with him a year before he discarded me, he’s been with her two years, how can anyone stand two years of that, it’s utter chaos, this is what makes me think he can’t be the same with her
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯
Andrew your reading is very true. I was married for 42 years with a narssecist.and along appeared nr 2 . He has just vanished in the hay 4 weeks ago.but I am free again.!!jippe at last.!!!
I knew it was a terrible situation. I just couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore. The pain near the end of the relationship was hard to bear. Glad I walked out with the clothes on my back and my meds in my purse! That was 6 months ago and I will not look back. I have come far and feel great. I can sleep 8-9 hours a night now. I have joy everyday. I talk to male friends, but that's all I that do. I'm not ready to be pleasing anyone yet. I can donate my time to where it's better used. I pray for the regular ones on here and any new ones to get the comfort from this channel. Andrew has went down the same path as we have and what he says is so beneficial!
Thank you for sharing 💯🙌🙏💪💯
You’re doing great focusing on numero uno! 😊
You nailed it ! We need to put our attention on our journey of healing and not focus on the Narcissist. !
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Am in this situation currently, with someone I have been with for three years now. We started as friends and than turned into relationship , and it was beautiful at the start, he was sincere and thoughtful, and shows me so much affection, I thought I was the luckiest woman alive, than one day it’s all it was, he said he was not in love with me anymore, broke my heart I blamed myself, tried to change to have him love me again.
And he just kept saying if I wanted him in my life, It would be as friends and nothing more, and I thought I could get him to fall in love with me again, but it got worse.
I paid his bills and pleasures for two years over the total of 70 grande, only to be told I wanted to.
He never cares about what is going on with me, talks to me daily and it’s always about him.
If I try to call out his coldness, it becomes a full on screaming match and insults and down right ugliness comes out, to the point he says he will call the police to get a restraining order on me.
Than call me back or text like nothing happened, hardly apologizes and when he does it’s very insincere, and always likes to tell me I play the victim or his new word a martyr.
It’s become emotionally draining taking to him, as he treats me like a child and always says, I will talk to you if and when I feel like it, he could hear me sobbing and still not even have a reaction.
I still talk to him, because I love him.
But he has made me sick, and question my own sanity, I am no longer the person I was before because of him.
But still can’t let him go.😢
Sending positive energy and healing 💯🙌🙏💪
He will never love you, wake up and save yourself!
I went through exactly everything you just talked about. Luckily I got out of it thanks to a lot of help from my friends. Now I understand it, but I didn't at the time. Thank you
Welcome 🙏
this stage is all ive ever known my whole life.....now i know why im a people pleaser
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Thank you Andrew. Wow, I feel what you're saying viscerally. You are so on point with your observations. It's such a horrible feeling to being told on day one what a life saver you are and being thanked for being in a narcissist's life to seemingly overnight becoming their scapegoat!! I was suddenly becoming accused and blamed for everything going on in this guy's life! It was extremely painful because I really liked this individual and thought we may have a future together, to suddenly made to feel like I was garbage and should feel so honored to being called upon to basically being his slave! I eventually had enough and went no contact with him, and heard through the grapevine of this guy's recent birthday gathering, which was chaotic and in shambles .This guy seemingly has everything..money, houses, nice stuff. But he admitted to me he HAS NO FRIENDS!! I can see why! I am so truly grateful that I am not a part of this guy's life anymore!
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯🙏☀️
They will take and take and take until there's nothing left of yourself. It is a whole kind of hell in and of itself. And until you do the hard work (which is SOOOO WORTH IT so don't give up) to free yourself of it will keep repeating because you're not yet aware of what's happening. Keep watching videos like this because I feel like I'm towards the end of the healing and it's a different world, one where you're not stressed out every second of your waking life, followed by sleep that is another repeat. I used to relive the daily torture in dreams... that was so fun...LOL. But don't give up because you can know who you are again (still working on that) and you can do it...don't give up!
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i discovered it just recently because two of my friends (later on even more ppl said it) that have been in narcisitic relationships, heared everything i was going through because i talked to hem about my pain, my doubts about him about myself, all the feelings i had during this relationship and what happend , then they told me sweetie what you tell me sounds like he is a narcisist. I was first like no way!! He can't be because i knew a tiny bit about Overt Narcisme the classic one. And he was not like that. But i started to listen to youtube video's about other forms of narcissism and found a video about covert narcisist. And i was like omg i now understand why very quickly i myself felt there is something wrong here but i could not put my finger on it. All puzzle pieces started to fall into place. But because they totally make you doubt and confused about alot of things, i still sometimes feel a tiny bit of doubt if he is a narcisist or not. He discarded me 3 weeks ago. But the doubt maybe is just that i don't want it to be true or because i never want to judge someone wrongly about something. But all the signs were there if i look back. All the red flags i ignored. All the times i gave him the benefit of the doubt. He was SO subtle and sneaky i never guessed he was a narcisist. Me as a highly sensitive person, highly empathatic fell for it even though i felt for month things were off and not ok but i doubted my intuition. I was the perfect supply for him. I completey lost myself in this relationship that my son warned me about it. He told me mom, it is not going ok with you. You are not Mettina anymore you are just partner off him. All the things you worked on is totally gone. You have to get out of that relationship its toxic. I thought it was all my trauma's from the past and i was the most insecure person there was. I even considered going back to therapy to work on myself. Yes i have some vulnerabiliteis but he blew them up 10 fold. Like i was beginning to think i was crazy. Omg the subtle way he did this was insane. Sorry for my not perfect english im from the Netherlands :)
Thank you for sharing this message 🙏🙌💯🙌
It’s hard to ignore… that they may be the problem… it’s easier to say : let me be the one who’s wrong… so I just could work on it…. That’s what we often do as empath…
I just found your channel a few days ago thank you so much for what your doing I've never heard someone who I feel really understands so well and makes me have hope thank you for letting me know i am not alone and I can get over this nightmare thank you
Welcome to the community 🙌🙏💯💪☀️😊
I felt the same way when I found this channel. I was like, what? This is amazing that he can put in words my whole experience with the narcissist. I cried actually because for the first time I knew someone else got it. Very validating. Keep watching, his videos will help you and your family and friends understand what you've been thru (that is if the narcissist didn't totally isolate you and smear you so badly like they do, if so take hope. The truth always comes out) God bless!!! ❤🙏👍
The only comforting thing is that they will have to deal with the reality that THEY will never be what THEY pretend to be , and that surely must be a living hell ,..the ultimate form of karma ! 🙏🙏
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Agreed, I pity them...
Thank you Andrew you have helped me more than you know. 🕯️🍃🌱☺️
You are so welcome🙏💯🙌
Thank you Andrew
Welcome 🙏
on point!!! truth!☝️❤️❤️☝️
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You are spot on when discussing narcissistic abuse. I really enjoy your talks. You make me realize it probably wasn’t me all that time. I was always trying to fix it by changing myself. Made it 20 years in a narcissistic marriage that ended after I had a massive stroke and wasn’t bringing in money anymore.
Sending healing energy and strength 🙏💯🙌❤️
I am so sorry you went through that. Just know that it was not you. Narcs love you for what you can give them. It's really hard to understand bc we love unconditionally. I had a similar experience with my mom and sister discarding me after I was injured on the job and could no longer work. I didn't know that they were only pretending to care bc of what I could give them. They always made fun of me for being "too generous" (a red flag I missed) and then dropped me when I could no longer afford to do those things.
Watching this for the 2nd time (at least!) working my way through as many videos as possible. Every single one shows me I am not alone and keeps me pointed in the direction I need to be moving in. That is priceless because I sometimes still question myself about my situation. Why? No idea. That's why I stay focused and keep watching. Thank You Andrew.🙏❣️🙏
Welcome 🙏🙌😊
The discard is the worse after the devaluation stage. Of course by that time, they have used you for whatever you had to offer. Interestingly, it's not always sex, it may be your skills or talents. In my case, I gave thousands of dollars away of professional services away to him. The only reason he paid anything because I would block him and then he would see, magically, how valuable I was.
Once the case was over, I was discarded. It is a huge letdown to know I was used but the good thing is that i wanted to help his love one and felt led by God to do it. I did and she's in a great place.
I am finished with him. He discarded me right after the case was done. I will emerge stronger and wiser.
I wish him the best. Lesson learned.
Love and blessings to you all. It happens to the best of us. It is not you. It is them. Emerge stronger!
Thank you for sharing this 🙌🙏💯
You got that right! Once you've experienced a narcissist, you can take that pain and transform it into wisdom. That you are being devalued by another human is not something that is a truth about you. Given a "higher view". Yes?
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Decades of devaluation...I thank heaven for sources like your channel.
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you are amazing, sharing such clear and simple insight. once you know, you cannot 'unsee' - helps to sift through what is real and what is smoke and mirrors. Thank you! ❤️
Welcome 🙏 🙌☀️
Thamk you Andrew another great video
Welcome 🙏💯🙌
Don't let up on the devaluation at all he goes to his family and tells me he has nobody to speak to and they talk to me it's pulling on him now his family is wondering about him not me now
God bless you for your instructions 🙏
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I remember towards the end of this nightmare relationship he told me he likes women who wear high heals all the time because he thinks it's sexy. Then proceeds to tell me I should start doing that, even while grocery shopping. Omg the energy to appease this person was terrible. Nothing was ever good enough.
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I agree with others. I appreciate your videos. I am now in a happy relationship but have so many wounds to heal. These videos are helping me heal. I thought he was romantic and sweet. I didn’t realize he was a covert Narc and yes he got me hooked on me. And yes he devalued me so bad I was left with no self esteem. Thank you Andrew for taking the time for making these videos!!
Well said. Me too, I had to erase the lies of devaluation and remember who I am and what I am worth is not based on what anyone says about me but God. And God loves me, learning to love myself again. I get it. Praying for you! ❤🙏👍
Welcome 🙌💯🙏
Was in another friendship with this woman who claimed to be awakened ,got to know after 2 half yrs , then found out was in a triangulation situation ,the mask fell she immediately got defensive and ghosted me ,was in a long term abusive relationship prior toughened me up for such situations ,I
believe in the old cleashay Rejection Is God's Protection ,and I thank God for this ,the penny dropped on the devaluation stage in this relationship this video ,God Bless
Andrew .
I was so completely utterly in love and helpless… And I still have moments where I think… Well maybe… But everything you said would happen did… I was so broken my heart was shattered… I don’t remember ever crying this much over anything or anyone ever… And it just got worse and I hung on and it got worse until I couldn’t anymore… He brought in a third-party… And I want to warn her, but there’s a part of me that is so angry that that happened to me that I don’t want to tell her… And there’s nothing she would believe about that anyway because I didn’t wanna believe it either
M🙌💯😉💯🙏💪
I wish I was warned. Now, initially I would have been highly dubious and dismissive of the warning. However, when all those red flags started to pop up all over the place, rather than glossing over them because of my good nature and the want to believe otherwise, there would have been a voice inside reminding me of the warnings. If the warnings mirrored what was transpiring in the relationship, I would most certainly have been more suspicious and/or alert. But that's just me.
Mine was a coworker who I began to see through his lies. A controlling freak from hell he tried to control my online activity, when I asked from help a couple of times he didnt listen and mainly watched everyone else do the work. What was more disturbing was him trying to figure out when and where I go and then coping exactly where I was going to be. No one believes me, he tell lies better then I can tell the truth, grrrrrrrr.
I spent 9 years in one devaluation stage. the other was 40 years
wow❤️
my heart goes out to you
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@@aLightShines I am a proud outspoken cycle breaker. I am loud and determined and I will be heard. I appreciate your love a d support it helps me keep yelling the truth of love and acceptance
Hey there Andrew, my narc sis would sometimes tell me she loves me...but i just didnt feel it from her.
Its just lip service..to keep me in alignment with her. These people are Always calculating 24/7. She
knows how to manipulate people, its like she has a built in radar, its scarey. I used to think "here's the next
victim" every single time she met someone new. She puts on her Charming Friendly mask...and eventually
it falls off because they can only hold it up for so long, then their True self is shown..and watch out.
The good news is, there's something called Karma, and i know a big slap in her face is coming for her.
Your a really big help Andrew 😇 God Bless U Always ✨
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯🙏😊💯
My Narcissist Spouse , He Don’t Eat Then You Don’t Eat ! I See That Very Clearly . 🌟💫 🌼
"Never forget how they gave you distance, when you needed love"
Everyday no contact the fog clears and I feel somewhat stronger, but I'm not sure I'll ever truly get over this. I don't think I can forget the times where I spent days questioning what I'd done wrong because all of a sudden he was 'too busy' to speak and I was getting the silent treatment. He was so emotionally cruel...saying things he knew would hurt me and making it into a joke, or just staring at me with no emotion, almost hostility at times that I was crying over the horrible situation. I feel like all I ever was was a game, and I can't understand how people do this to others with no remorse.. just get on with their day to day lives like they haven't done a thing wrong.
So grateful to find videos like this. Thank you 🤍
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌