Yea my situation is very similar, I’ve been on 4 dates now, and not once did she even offer to chip in for anything and it’s just awkward for me because after the first date of me paying I expected her to atleast offer. Getting a bit annoyed about it
@@hellswindstaff91 omg same here. She would make the plan and I'd end up paying for it. And when she finally did decide to pay, it was "oh hey do you want to split"? Are you for real??!!! She couldn't even pick up the tab for ONE bill! Boy did I fuckin split after that. Dumped her cheap ass faster than she could blink!!
@@aone5787 wow its crazy isnt it? I even said to her its ok ill cover the dates i iust want some reciprocity from time to time. Anything. She wasnt having it. Liked her alot but that bothered me and i left.
+JE ENN Women should not pay on a first date (although they should still offer), but they should certainly pay on other dates. Men likes to be treated just as much as women. It's only fair on every level.
This is interesting. I got out of a long term relationship at the beginning of the year. My ex always offered to pay for everything, even though I generally didn't let her. It was the gesture that I found endearing. Fast forward to now...I've gone on 2 dates with this girl I really, really like. We've had a really good time together and I could almost see us together...BUT...On neither occasion has she offered to pay, which isn't totally a deal breaker, because I expect to pay for the first few dates anyway. The real problem that I have is that she hasn't even said THANK YOU! We went out for a really nice dinner last night, and she didn't even say "Thanks for dinner". NOTHING!! It's tough, because I actually want to see her again, but this thing has really turned me off.
Thanks for sharing your experience. This is an interesting issue and I will dedicated my next video to this situation. Be sure to subscribe to my channel so that you are notified when that video is up.
It's ridiculous you need to have this conversation with a grown adult woman who should know better. So not only is the man expected to pay but now he has to initiate this awkward & uncomfortable conversation with his date about basic fairness.
nah i believe that if i had to teach a grown 25 years old woman that she should offer to pay to show her effort sometimes by then i just move on instead.. chances are there is many other habits that she hasn't learned over the years and im not interested in walking down that path.. i usually give it 2-3 dates max depending on how much i like the girl and how pleasant the time we share is. After that I move on and she will never get an answer as to why I ghosted her etc.
Hey man is Chris Vargas from Houston TX just to say as always great video good question and of course keep them going the more and better the question more knowledge to us man hope you have a good day I like your channel
I agree she should at least offer, reach for her purse when the bill comes, etc. However maybe she is pretty shy in that regard? Its actually fairly awkward as a woman, to play that game of "I'll pay" "No, I'll pay", "No I'll pay" etc etc with a guy you've only been on 3 dates with (really 2 dates, since the first was just coffee). Sometimes it seems like we're just putting on an act because we know that the guy is going to end up insisting that he pays for it. At any rate, I agree with the ice cream thing! If the guy buys dinner, the girl should by the ice cream etc. Its just a nice gesture.
Of course, but it's still a very good idea to put on an act, and it's a matter of basic courtesy almost as much as for a guy to open a girl's doors. Once you don't do it, it makes it look like you expected to be dined, and that kind of entitlement attitude is hardly flattering to any girl.
Reminds me of this girl I dated for a little over 2 months. Now, her and I are both in our 30s and work in our fields. I obviously paid the first couple of dates because I'm more of a relaxed guy. After the 4th date however, I realized that she would never even offer to pay out of courtesy. A simple offer would have gone a long way. Finally when she did offer to pay, it was "hey do you want to split the bill"? But take this in....we got back from a long walk in the botanical gardens, and stopped by to pick up two pita wraps. The dude behind the counter took our orders and I went to go wash up. To my amazement she actually stepped in to pay the bill. Or did she??? Upon returning from the washroom, i said "thanks for picking up the tab, that was nice of you". I grabbed my wrap and was about to dig in when she said "ohh haha, sorry I only paid for mine". At that moment I was in shock at how cheap she was. She even had the guts to ask what I wanted to do for her birthday that was 2 weeks away. I dumped her ass. Happy birthday darling .
The video specifically says that the guy should always pay on a first date (it's an old, well established truism). It's one 3-4 dates in a row a girl doesn't offer to pay when it might become a problem.
I just always assumed I should always offer to pay or at the very least pay my half. This one time the guy would not let me pay so I insisted on covering the tip (I gave a good one) so I could pay for something. I think you should offer not because of the whole stereotype of a man's role and a woman's role (ridiculous!), but just as a human thing. If you go out with someone, it's not polite to expect them to pay for everything all the time no matter what gender they are and especially if you do not know this person very well just yet. The way I see it is; you are not a child and this is not your mom or dad so expecting someone pay for your entire meal without even offering just seems like a super rude thing to do.
Guy should pay but she should offer to pay or at least say "Thank you for paying". If she doesn't, it means she's entitled and I won't contact her again.
I have literally just returned from lunch, really frustrated as I been seeing a woman I met through work. We been seeing each other for a month now and been out numerous times... Our first dinner out I paid for that in total and was happy to cover the $350 tab which included many drinks/cocktails. I'm old school in that manner being the first date so no issue there. Second time around, "She" initiated a lunch, we headed out, ordered, bill came in and she didn't even reach for her purse. A couple days later, my place, we ordered in, bottle of wine, being my place, I covered this too. Today, she yet again initiated "Hey let's have lunch together", we went out, ordered, bill comes along, not even a flinch to reach for her purse and insist or recognise the fact A) She actually initiated the lunch idea, B) That I have so far covered all our eating out lunches and dinner. It's now changing the way I see her. I kinda feel that this is a glimpse into who she is. What makes this really difficult for me is that I'm a single parent too, so I have the usual expenses of caring and providing for a child which she is very well aware of. It makes this all the more perplexing because I think I will kind of need to address this with her but don't wish to come across petty.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Spending this much that early is a fundamental mistake to avoid in the future, as you are basically setting yourself up for being taken advantage of. For more relevant discussion on similar money issues, please watch my recent stream here ruclips.net/video/nlR3uzYoxF8/видео.html
I just never understand women that feel like they are entitled. Its like you are supposed to pay for their time. I agree that a man should pay on the first date but things should be different after that. It is NOT the 1950s. I hear the comment that women still make less than men so you are getting back at me because of stats? Like if a man ask you to chip in sometimes it seems to be a crime. You are not entitled. I work hard for my money just like you. Most men want a woman who they know has their back and a woman with an entitlement attitude is not the one. Guys, if a woman decides she is not going to pay for anything than the proof is there on the type of person she is. You either choose to be taken advantage of or not. The choice is yours in the end. No one, woman or man should be taken for granted or advantage of. Period.
It’s OK to ask her to pay After you’ve had sex😉 Before, can be risky! “Simply say it would be nice if you can treat us to dinner “ you have to do this to see what she’s made of
It might be a cultural thing for her where she's not even realizing that women should be financial contributors as well. If that's not it, then I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger...
Sure, but we're talking about American women here - women that are graduating college at a higher rate than men, and working in many professions where pay gap doesn't exist. The problem I see with many women is that they assume their only financial burden in dating is makeup, clothing, jewelry, spa/waxing, hair salon, shoes, etc, and as a guy you're responsible for taking care of everything else in the relationship. I'll concede being a stylish/good looking women cost a lot of money in America, but I refuse to consider those costs part of the total cost of dating.
William Baker I totally agree with all that you say. But some 1st generation or even 2nd generation Americans are just raised believing that the man is the bread winner. So much so, that she won't even realize she's being impolite by always making him pay. In fact, she will see his paying as a privilege and it'd insulting NOT to let him pay. I've went out with a girl of Chinese heritage once. She was very sweet and easy to talk to. But she had beliefs that a guy should always pay, carry the girl's purse, drive her everywhere she needs to go... The craziest part was that she believed in abstinence until marriage. You would think no man would ever accept those terms, but clearly they are out there.
There is nothing wrong with maintaining traditional values and I would never suggest that men and women should share everything 50/50. Most guys are happy and enjoy contributing much more financially (assuming they can), but men also like to be treated every now and then, especially in the beginning during the first few dates. It doesn't have to be anything huge. A tea here, a coffee there and other small gestures mean more than what they cost.
Хобби
Yea my situation is very similar, I’ve been on 4 dates now, and not once did she even offer to chip in for anything and it’s just awkward for me because after the first date of me paying I expected her to atleast offer. Getting a bit annoyed about it
Just went through this myself 16 dates not 1 offer some dates my idea some of them hers still i had to pay for them all.
@@hellswindstaff91 omg same here. She would make the plan and I'd end up paying for it. And when she finally did decide to pay, it was "oh hey do you want to split"? Are you for real??!!! She couldn't even pick up the tab for ONE bill! Boy did I fuckin split after that. Dumped her cheap ass faster than she could blink!!
The problem is you took beyond the first date still paying. If she doesn't pay after the first date, I will ghost her after I get to bang her
@@aone5787 wow its crazy isnt it? I even said to her its ok ill cover the dates i iust want some reciprocity from time to time. Anything. She wasnt having it. Liked her alot but that bothered me and i left.
@@hellswindstaff91 tough you just have to test a woman before dating her
I dont understand why a women ever should pay on dates... whats this bullshit about "Self worth and dignity when she offers to pay" - HMM!?
+JE ENN
Women should not pay on a first date (although they should still offer), but they should certainly pay on other dates. Men likes to be treated just as much as women. It's only fair on every level.
This is interesting. I got out of a long term relationship at the beginning of the year. My ex always offered to pay for everything, even though I generally didn't let her. It was the gesture that I found endearing. Fast forward to now...I've gone on 2 dates with this girl I really, really like. We've had a really good time together and I could almost see us together...BUT...On neither occasion has she offered to pay, which isn't totally a deal breaker, because I expect to pay for the first few dates anyway. The real problem that I have is that she hasn't even said THANK YOU! We went out for a really nice dinner last night, and she didn't even say "Thanks for dinner". NOTHING!! It's tough, because I actually want to see her again, but this thing has really turned me off.
Thanks for sharing your experience. This is an interesting issue and I will dedicated my next video to this situation. Be sure to subscribe to my channel so that you are notified when that video is up.
It's ridiculous you need to have this conversation with a grown adult woman who should know better. So not only is the man expected to pay but now he has to initiate this awkward & uncomfortable conversation with his date about basic fairness.
nah i believe that if i had to teach a grown 25 years old woman that she should offer to pay to show her effort sometimes by then i just move on instead.. chances are there is many other habits that she hasn't learned over the years and im not interested in walking down that path.. i usually give it 2-3 dates max depending on how much i like the girl and how pleasant the time we share is. After that I move on and she will never get an answer as to why I ghosted her etc.
Hey man is Chris Vargas from Houston TX just to say as always great video good question and of course keep them going the more and better the question more knowledge to us man hope you have a good day I like your channel
I agree she should at least offer, reach for her purse when the bill comes, etc. However maybe she is pretty shy in that regard? Its actually fairly awkward as a woman, to play that game of "I'll pay" "No, I'll pay", "No I'll pay" etc etc with a guy you've only been on 3 dates with (really 2 dates, since the first was just coffee). Sometimes it seems like we're just putting on an act because we know that the guy is going to end up insisting that he pays for it. At any rate, I agree with the ice cream thing! If the guy buys dinner, the girl should by the ice cream etc. Its just a nice gesture.
Of course, but it's still a very good idea to put on an act, and it's a matter of basic courtesy almost as much as for a guy to open a girl's doors. Once you don't do it, it makes it look like you expected to be dined, and that kind of entitlement attitude is hardly flattering to any girl.
I think the guy should make it clear in advance, that he's paying. It's less awkward that way lol.
Great advice just went through this situation
Reminds me of this girl I dated for a little over 2 months. Now, her and I are both in our 30s and work in our fields. I obviously paid the first couple of dates because I'm more of a relaxed guy. After the 4th date however, I realized that she would never even offer to pay out of courtesy. A simple offer would have gone a long way. Finally when she did offer to pay, it was "hey do you want to split the bill"?
But take this in....we got back from a long walk in the botanical gardens, and stopped by to pick up two pita wraps. The dude behind the counter took our orders and I went to go wash up. To my amazement she actually stepped in to pay the bill. Or did she???
Upon returning from the washroom, i said "thanks for picking up the tab, that was nice of you". I grabbed my wrap and was about to dig in when she said "ohh haha, sorry I only paid for mine". At that moment I was in shock at how cheap she was.
She even had the guts to ask what I wanted to do for her birthday that was 2 weeks away. I dumped her ass. Happy birthday darling .
What took you so long
Dude some people are just disgusting personalities
She should offer to pay on the first date? Not if he extended the invitation!
The video specifically says that the guy should always pay on a first date (it's an old, well established truism). It's one 3-4 dates in a row a girl doesn't offer to pay when it might become a problem.
Great truthful insight in this video dude..Keep it up..:)
I just always assumed I should always offer to pay or at the very least pay my half. This one time the guy would not let me pay so I insisted on covering the tip (I gave a good one) so I could pay for something. I think you should offer not because of the whole stereotype of a man's role and a woman's role (ridiculous!), but just as a human thing. If you go out with someone, it's not polite to expect them to pay for everything all the time no matter what gender they are and especially if you do not know this person very well just yet. The way I see it is; you are not a child and this is not your mom or dad so expecting someone pay for your entire meal without even offering just seems like a super rude thing to do.
I couldn't say it any better. That's exactly the point.
@@PracticalDatingMan true
This is good advice though. If I see this girl again, I'm going to try this.
Guy should pay but she should offer to pay or at least say "Thank you for paying". If she doesn't, it means she's entitled and I won't contact her again.
I would thank above and beyond even for a 2$ ice cream, but never offer to pay myself, since the males in my country would happily take on the offer.
I have literally just returned from lunch, really frustrated as I been seeing a woman I met through work. We been seeing each other for a month now and been out numerous times... Our first dinner out I paid for that in total and was happy to cover the $350 tab which included many drinks/cocktails. I'm old school in that manner being the first date so no issue there. Second time around, "She" initiated a lunch, we headed out, ordered, bill came in and she didn't even reach for her purse. A couple days later, my place, we ordered in, bottle of wine, being my place, I covered this too. Today, she yet again initiated "Hey let's have lunch together", we went out, ordered, bill comes along, not even a flinch to reach for her purse and insist or recognise the fact A) She actually initiated the lunch idea, B) That I have so far covered all our eating out lunches and dinner. It's now changing the way I see her. I kinda feel that this is a glimpse into who she is. What makes this really difficult for me is that I'm a single parent too, so I have the usual expenses of caring and providing for a child which she is very well aware of. It makes this all the more perplexing because I think I will kind of need to address this with her but don't wish to come across petty.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Spending this much that early is a fundamental mistake to avoid in the future, as you are basically setting yourself up for being taken advantage of. For more relevant discussion on similar money issues, please watch my recent stream here ruclips.net/video/nlR3uzYoxF8/видео.html
Great advice as always.
Thanks!
Vampires don't feel the need to chip in.
I just never understand women that feel like they are entitled. Its like you are supposed to pay for their time. I agree that a man should pay on the first date but things should be different after that. It is NOT the 1950s. I hear the comment that women still make less than men so you are getting back at me because of stats? Like if a man ask you to chip in sometimes it seems to be a crime. You are not entitled. I work hard for my money just like you. Most men want a woman who they know has their back and a woman with an entitlement attitude is not the one. Guys, if a woman decides she is not going to pay for anything than the proof is there on the type of person she is. You either choose to be taken advantage of or not. The choice is yours in the end. No one, woman or man should be taken for granted or advantage of. Period.
"Too bad" most of us no longer put men's wants before our own.
It’s OK to ask her to pay After you’ve had sex😉
Before, can be risky!
“Simply say it would be nice if you can treat us to dinner “ you have to do this to see what she’s made of
It might be a cultural thing for her where she's not even realizing that women should be financial contributors as well. If that's not it, then I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger...
Sure, but we're talking about American women here - women that are graduating college at a higher rate than men, and working in many professions where pay gap doesn't exist. The problem I see with many women is that they assume their only financial burden in dating is makeup, clothing, jewelry, spa/waxing, hair salon, shoes, etc, and as a guy you're responsible for taking care of everything else in the relationship. I'll concede being a stylish/good looking women cost a lot of money in America, but I refuse to consider those costs part of the total cost of dating.
William Baker I totally agree with all that you say. But some 1st generation or even 2nd generation Americans are just raised believing that the man is the bread winner. So much so, that she won't even realize she's being impolite by always making him pay. In fact, she will see his paying as a privilege and it'd insulting NOT to let him pay.
I've went out with a girl of Chinese heritage once. She was very sweet and easy to talk to. But she had beliefs that a guy should always pay, carry the girl's purse, drive her everywhere she needs to go... The craziest part was that she believed in abstinence until marriage. You would think no man would ever accept those terms, but clearly they are out there.
There is nothing wrong with maintaining traditional values and I would never suggest that men and women should share everything 50/50. Most guys are happy and enjoy contributing much more financially (assuming they can), but men also like to be treated every now and then, especially in the beginning during the first few dates. It doesn't have to be anything huge. A tea here, a coffee there and other small gestures mean more than what they cost.
It’s true as a Russian and living in the west I never thought of offering because for Russian men it’s offensive.
@@wwbaker3 seriously
.... don't let these men fool you, if they cannot afford to date, then they don't need to be asking you out lol......
and if a woman cannot pay on her own, she shouldn't be expecting to get one..
SheRaSeven1 that’s why you have videos about “chasing men is stupid.”
Maybe you’re stupid, and they’re too smart to go after you LOL
so the women can not afford to pay for her own meal?? that is the definition of cheap!
SheRaSeven1 GOLD DIGGERS
Another strong and independent woman....until the bill comes. Women like you are forever single.