How To Gracefully Answer Nosy Questions
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- Опубликовано: 11 дек 2024
- I'm sharing a few ways to gracefully answer questions when people are being nosy and intrusive.
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#TheModernLady #NosyQuestions #GracefulLife
“It was a gift” is a good answer for when people ask how much did that cost.
😍 I absolutely love that answer! It’s perfect for the infamous “how much was that?” question!
YESSS
But who gave it to you? Where did they get it from? When did they give it to you? Why did they give you a gift? Can I see it? Who gave it to you?
@@denimlether5812 - and why did you accept it??
This is great!
"When I want to share something, I share it without you asking" is a good answer. Thank you
😂😂😂unfortunately now you’re accused of being rude… so I’m trying to learn how to not get accused but I love your response
@@nikkyluv2244who cares, you’re not here to people please. you don’t owe anyone an explanation anyway lol. you’re being gracious by even answering in the first place…
@@therealestdreaomg yess! I don't care if they call me rude, i just don't want to give my secrets and privacy.. Let me be mysterious and let me be forgotten
I’m astonished at how comfortable people feel asking nosy questions. When I got engaged, clients at my old job would ask me what my fiancé does for work before asking for my name! They didn’t even bother to know my name but they wanted to know his occupation?! I’m at a new job and this video comes in handy. People can be so nosy! Thanks a bunch for this video
You’re welcome, Janae! Congratulations on your engagement! That’s very exciting!
Yes, unfortunately, many people think no information is off limits, so there are ways to kindly curtail their prying! 😂 Thank you for watching! I’m happy you found it helpful!
OMG! I never asked anyone bout there job as I don’t want to judge them just becoz of there job which basically lead in how much they are making..
Some are actually just want to friend to you if you have nice status..
Same situation I had. Distant relatives of mine bluntly asked me if i was married or not and i look not married, without bothering to exchange a few words with me before even though it was their first time to see me in their lives. People are really nosy and they don't know that because that is how they have been doing with people around them so they think everyone is like them. I really appreciated this video, thank you !
How much does your fiance make? How much do you make? Let me give you some unsolicited advice about marriage. I been married 7 times, I should know.
Wow how rude! Similar experience at my job. So when I felt comfortable enough I asked, "Why so interested in my husband?" Pause. Quite. "Do I ask you personal questions about your love interests?" ( Because I don't care to know if they are married or not etc.)
I don't mind people asking me about where I got stuff or how much something cost if I know they genuinely want to know. Sure I do it myself sometimes. What I don't like is when people ask me things so they can guilt, shame or judge my decisions. I think it boils down to why they want to know things.
Another thing too if they come to me privately I’m fine with that but I don’t like when they ask me infront of other nosy people
I think there are times when it's ok to ask these things. Let's say I'm looking to buy a certain thing and I could be asking people who have bought it about the brands/ models and prices etc .
Right. Some of these questions she mentioned I was like “That’s a nosey question?” 🤔 - Questions about the cost of a home/car (Although you can easily find that information online) I can agree, it is a bit intrusive. But questions about an outfit or other things that aren’t outright “Personal” I just answer because it’s not that serious. In the end I guess what’s “Personal” is subjective.
My Grandmother had a great answer she would give if anyone asked her age, and she would say it with grace and humour: "I'm as old as my tongue, and a little bit older than my teeth" and then she'd just smile as people look a bit confused trying to figure it out. Love your videos, great advice. xx
Bwhahaha
Excellent response 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Brilliant!
Honestly I don’t think it’s nothing wrong with telling someone your age....I don’t think it is such a big deal.
Love it!
I can't stand when people ask about my work. I politely say "I'm sorry,but I don't discuss my business"
My coworker kept asking about my schooling I’m fed up lol
@@shutit4024 omg me too. I hate people that ask me about schooling. just leave us alone god damn.
@@Bee-qu2sq yes she waited till I clocked out when she had 40 minutes to ask me plus she already asked me like 2 days in a row 🙄
@@shutit4024 why people are so nosy and intrusive is beyond me !! I deal with the samething all the time. Like, my answer is gonna be the same as yesterday cause nothing has changed lol why do they need to ask every day ?? 🤦♀️I feel your frustrations. People really need to mind their god damn business.
@@Bee-qu2sq yes thankfully I left that place but I had bumped into the same nosy coworker 2 weeks ago and she asked me where’s my new job?, is it far from where I use to work?, and what am I doing at the new job🤦🏽♀️ I really wanted to tell her it’s none of your f**king business but instead all I said was “ not far and it’s the same thing I always been doing” meaning I’m preparing myself (studying) for a new career and a job I am about to get AT MY HOUSE LOL
"with a pretty face like that, are you really single? why don't u find a partner?" has been asked to me countless of times. my favourite respond is "well it's my decision" and if they ask for an explanation i say "i already gave my answer"
I have used, "I plead the 5th." After all, it is your right to remain silent! Lol. It worked for me.
Hahahhaha
Oh that's the best!!! ❤️🤣
Keep it short 😎 Don't spend time explaining the 5th 😂
See my comments above . M🌷
I'm not even American but I also used it😂
Its also quite annoying when you politely decline to answer someone's intrusive questions and they become defensive and say that they don't think its a big deal, that they shared their age/finances/other personal information with you (even though you didn't ask) or with other "all the time" as though you are now obligated to reciprocate their oversharing!
This!!!! 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌
Yeah tell them to do one at that point
I quite agree. Not everyone is an open book.
Agree
That's their tactic. I'd just say sorry and move on or let silence fall.
My new roommate asked for my age, my monthly allowance, my tuition fees, what I do when I go to school, etc, I tried to dodge them most of the time but she is very determined. Your advice is helpful and I’ll be using them, thank you!
My family members keep asking me when am I getting married or Am I seeing anyone. I'm tired of them asking me that question. So now I'm going to use this!!
I had no idea they ask men this too!!
Yes. They definitely do!! Lol
Ima girl (21) and my family be asking me that too
When people are rude, there is no need to break your head over how to answer politely or use humour.
Be silent for a few seconds, look at them , smile, and say calmly :
" I'm sorry, I consider that personal". Then break eyecontact 😉
The whole point is to avoid answering whilst not making the enquirer feel bad for asking - unless it is deliberately rude and intrusive. With all of these questions, some find them perfectly acceptable, others don't .
That's like the, I'm an assassin and the less you know the better off you'll be response. 🙂
No, just give them a look and don't smile .
I love this tactic, someone has used it against me
How do you deal with jealousy from envious women?
jealousy and envy are two different things
Yes, please make a video on THIS
Thank you for the suggestion. I will add this to the list of requested topics.
Good question.
Try ignoring them..... With Grace 😉
So helpful in just a matter of minutes you've answered questions my therapist hasn't in a matter of years.
Silence and walking away is the best way to deal with nosey and nasty skunks.
That's what I prefer. I dont owe anyone an answer
Lmfao! You said skunks 😂
If anyone remembers how Clair Huxtable was on the Cosby show...she is literally the type of woman that is a lady that answers questions like this gracefully with that “look”. But really you don’t have to explain yourself with people. Just ask them, “Is that really any of your business?” And leave it at that. I never cared to tell my age because I look younger than I am but I have learned that people prejudge you based on that so I have learned to be exclusive with certain people whom I give my age to.
Question: Is it not graceful if we calmly say, ‘I don’t want to answer that’ or ‘i want to keep that private’?
It is graceful to me! It stops the prying and they know not to mess with you anymore.
I think this will help me.
I repeat, do NOT be overly polite or nice or graceful 😂😀😂 with
rude people 😎 See my comments elsewhere above.
@@margalitvanbergen6620 I agree . If someone if overstepping your boundaries you need to be firm and not behave like it's ok.
“I keep my private life private for a reason. Thank you for understanding” *smile* then change the topic.
I like that your responses are light and graceful, no need to be rude but it's nice to set boundaries bc ppl are hungry for answers
I'm married and we have no children. I HATE it when people that I don't know very well ask me why. I want to tell them that it's none of their damn business, but I'm too polite to ever do that.
That is unfortunately a very common question that nosy people will ask! I know it must be very annoying! Sorry you have to go through that! Maybe you can try humor the next time someone asks you. It truly is none of their business - so you should never feel obligated or guilty to answer them simply because they asked!
Mine since I’m in my mid 30’s and asking me I don’t have Bf or my own family!!
I never asked anyone if they have kids or if they are married or why they are not married! Since I find it too personal..
Since I’m trying to be happy on my own...
My coworkers keep asking me about my rent, when I avoid the question they get angry. I'm scared , is it normal to ask a new coworker what there rent payment is ? I'm so scared
Sometimes it may well be genuine concern, or care. I'm sure you still feel annoyed, but I know _I_ have crossed that line more times than I care to remember when asking about something personal- not because I'm a creep (I hope), but because I cared and felt a connection to the person or topic- the other party perhaps did not feel the same.😯😳
Anyway, I think Miss Manners or someone like her suggested a firm, _"It is kind of you to care, but I'd rather not discuss it."_ Then, even more firmly, change the subject. Perhaps, with a big smile, "Feel free to ask me about my promotion/next vacation/favorite charity/...!"
Hth.
LoveJesusChrist lovejesus what scares you about the question? Coworkers asking about rent payment is somewhat common, but there is no obligation to answer if it makes you uncomfortable.
Thanks so much for the video! I like to be polite, but I am a private person and hate intrusive questions! I know most people don't mean any harm, but it can be tricky being graceful when asked certain questions.
If they ask, "how old are you?" You could say, "how old are you?" If they say, "I asked you 1st." You could say, " Go 1st, since you are interested in this subject. Go ahead, tell me, how old are you?!" Maybe not classy but so fun to try!
I love your response
As someone from a 3rd world country who was raised by a low-class woman, these videos are very useful to me, thank you so much! I don't blame my mother for not being able to teach me more, she's doing what she can. But I just turned 18 and I want to be a classy woman 😊.
Americans are shady and its good to be up on the shade they throw
When people have asked my age I have responded by saying " I'm over the age of 18 and under the age of 100, so pick a number and be fine with it"
😂😂😂😂
Good one
So funny!!!
Love it!
I'm going to use that. Thanks!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My granny had a good answer for rude age questions, I am as young as my tongue but older than my teeth.
There’s nothing worse than nosey questions! My most recent bad experience was actually at a Lord & Taylor near me- what started as light banter turned into a barrage of nosey questions. I tried to gracefully fend them off but she was determined. And then she started talking about her own personal life and insulting her daughter. It was shocking. I wish I had had your advice then! I was mostly just standing in shock that a stranger could be so intrusive!
Wow, thank you for sharing! I’m so sorry to hear you had that experience (especially while trying to shop!). Yes, unfortunately these situations can occur at places you would never expect to be interrogated!
This advice will certainly help you for the next time!
I find you really have to follow your. Intuition before opening up to strangers. A lot of people will use light banter/conversation to be sarcastic you or be nosy if you seem nice.
Intuition is key! That’s a good point!
Love this!!! What about "when are you going to get married?" ugh I hate that! When I get married, you'll know. I have a hard time w/that one though!
So happy you enjoyed my video! 🥂😍 Questions about your decision to get married/ have kids/ etc. can be tough but you can gracefully decline to answer. You are never obligated to tell someone information just because they are curious and ask!
When will you and your husband have a baby?
I’ved been asked with that question all the time!
I’m in my mid 30’s..Or sometimes you should find different job so maybe you can meet someone there..
Sighhhh... they can’t just compliment you to stay on your own without depending to others.
If you are single you can say “ when God sends me my husband “
That's actually the perfect answer, I will use that next time. "When I'm married, you'll know!"
A great video!!! I’m always surprised when friends ask about personal finances!!! It’s very intrusive, and adds zero to the friendship. Generally, these kinds of open ended questions are being used to form some kind of opinion, either good or bad judgment about the individual. Yet these questions can be tricky to dodge without appearing as rude, dismissive and possibly damaging to the friendship, especially with people you’ve known a long time. EXAMPLE: “How did you afford that...(fill in the blank).” I’ll try your humor approach and be a lady when others aren’t.
Wow! "How did you afford that?!" They know that is rude and the way they phrased it makes it sound like they think you cant afford things. These might not be real friends
Love this! My recent experience was when someone kept asking my why I choose not to vote. Thankfully I handled it with humor and changing the subject. Didn’t know that was a strategy but it sure does work!
I’m so glad the advice came in handy for you! 😊 Thank you for watching, and I so appreciate you sharing that it helped you!
My boss said, when someone asked me that question, 'she doesn't like the choices.' I thought that was pretty neat.
Yeah I dont vote either and people act like it's a requirement. What If there is no candidate that has earned your vote? What if there is a religious objection? What if you can see the corruption in government and you dont trust it anymore? Those conversations can get heated really quickly and I just dont see how its anyone's business. I really dont like how people ask who you voted for and then get mad because they dont approve. Last I checked, when you vote, it is anonymous and folks aren't even allowed too wear political clothing. So why would it be appropriate to ask who someone voted for or why they didnt vote?
Do Americans have any civic responsibilities in your opinion?
I feel compelled to comment.
This video was so very helpful - thank you so much.
I been recently doing a lot of back and forth communication with friends on media and one individual keeps getting nosy with financial questions.
I already mentioned that my husband doesn't want me discussing these things but they continue to pry.
Your suggestions and sample responses are perfect.
This video just helped me answer “how much did you buy your home for?” My answer, “I got into my home at the perfect time.” Side note: person that asked me is a realtor, and during this time it has become a sellers market.
It was the best answer I could come up with lol
Directing them to the website where you bought it is good too. Some people aren’t nosy, they just want a similar home to yours.
I agree, great video! I needed guidance on this topic. The amount of rude questions I’ve been asked about my relationship is unbelievable! Just because I’m giving you a drink doesn’t mean I owe you anything. I’ve noticed because I am in my 20s everyone who is older are so nosy and they seem to think that because I’m young I have to answer all their questions. 🙄🙄👿
I hated that when I was younger. I sometimes get there questions now even though I'm now 31. Why are single? I really hate that one the most
Stay strong 💪. You don’t have to answer to anyone 💝.
How about those who think they are being clever when they sneak in the question... when did you graduate from high school. These devious snoops are going to calculate your age
They are so ridiculous for doing that! Why does it matter so much?
Why be ashamed of your age though?
"I'm bad with dates" "Can't recall😅
I have a friend from another class who's really nosy. She met me in the toilet once and asked me what was I doing. Lmao what did she expect me to do? Summon a demon?
Oh, but you should have answered that! Tell her that you were indeed summoning a demon!
@@dianasummers5276 BAHAHAHAHHAH
Uhmm lol
Lmao
It may not be the most polite way but I say "why do you want to know?" Or I'll ask them the same question they asked me.
That’s what I do at family reunions
Nosy people their questions never ends , if you answer one they will ask more and more nonsense unnecessary questions
Yes!!
Exactly!
Yup
EXACTLY SO TRUE 💯‼️
Thank you! Yes, people are just so rude these days. I really love your channel and these tips are wonderful. 💕
You’re welcome, Katrina! 🥂 Thank you for watching!
I’m delighted the advice will help you to maintain your gracefulness when rude people interrogate you (it can happen when you least expect it!)
How do you answer questions about work? I HATE when people ask “what do you do for work?” Five seconds after meeting me. I generally say I’m self employed but they want specific answers.
"your mom"
@LaBellezaMorena You don't have to give them any details, just name an industry. Tell them, I work in the beauty industry, or I work in the health sector, or the education sector, and how about you? Then change the topic. 😊
People can't stop asking me if I have kids. I had one friend keeping asking WHY? To each of any nosy question. It was great!!
Possible answer :" If I'll have kids are you gonna be my babysitter ?"
@beautifulplaces2703 exactly 💯 😂
What about relatives who think they are entitled to an answer?
When a man asks what I do for a living after revealing he's interested, tells me everything I need to know about his masculinity 🙌
A woman invited me to sit at her table in Church's Chicken. Because she was good looking (skin deep) and a compatriot, my judgement became so skewed, I ended up answering her interrogations and put downs one after another. I ended up feeling like I raped myself when I get to part from her. Her very first question was "are you already on your menopause? you couldn't possibly still be getting them?" I was 43 years old. I seem to have a weak spot for females behaving badly. I just can't seem to get my spins in a role whenever a female attacks me.
I really need to have exposed myself to videos like this long long long time ago. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
I've never understood the "Why are you single?"question.
Me either! Is it bad that I want to make up an outlandish answer? 😂😂
@@christinabrenneman7641 - exactly! For me, I just want to understand the intent behind the question. Is it meant as an insult? What is the point? But I guess an outlandish question, will get an outlandish response🤣
You could say ( why are you concerned?😂)
I'm a 42 year old woman and never thought it was a big deal for someone to ask my age, But that's just me. :)
Thanks for watching, Noemi. I totally agree with you! The questions one person finds as nosy may be completely different from what someone else defines as nosy.
Personally, I don’t like to be asked about my age. But I know women that don’t like to be asked other questions, like what they do for a living, which I don’t mind answering (actually, I love to share what I do!!)
😊 It’s all about personal preference!
People know it's rude to ask someone's age.
Just stare and say "I DO beg your pardon?" and break eye contact.
If they continue, repeat same scenario 😎
M🌷 (from NL, Europe)
@@margalitvanbergen6620 not everyone (such a children, autistics, etc) know about the unspoken rule
I like what she said about the difference between a woman and lady.
I’m struggling with this, I’ve realised my friends are incredibly nosy. They have asked me: if the house I live in is a rental or my own, how much I spend on rent, who gave me my new phone? Did my husband give me the phone as a gift? If we bought a new car? did we buy it new or second hand? Did we sell the old car? Did we buy our thermomix? I said, it was a wedding gift and my friend still asked who gave it to us ??? It’s just becoming too much
I don’t even realise how much they’re prying until it’s too late. I think they’re being nice trying to ask questions about me and how I’m doing, then I realise the whole conversation is just them asking me a bunch of questions so I turn the topic back on them and ask questions about them but they somehow always redirect it back to me.
What are your thoughts on a general: "I'd rather not say" to intrusive questions?
I like that one and say it with a smile
Exactly what you said. Id rather not say.
Nosy people are sensitive to rejection so this can potentially give you trouble..
@@eirikmurito I've noticed that. It's as if they recoil in disgust or shock almost when you set that boundary
It doesn't matter, have a few in the bag, I'm fairly rude to intrusive people, but I've always been fond of "A lady never tells" even if you're a man it gets a laugh and tends to tell people you're not interested in sharing. If they persist, you'll just have to be direct, but that's what they get if they can't take the hint. Don't feel bad, they certainly don't mind asking you such an intrusive question.
How can you love me when you've never met me? Saying that you love everybody makes you appear rather insincere.
I have a tendency to over explain even though I don't want to. I recently became a single mother again. People often voice assumptions that I'm on welfare. While it is false, that isn't the point. Even if people are well meaning it is so uncomfortable. People often express pity and ask very personal questions.
Yes A new found connections is pumping me up full of nosy questions. It would seem my ex wants to know via by proxy. It’s quiet annoying. What I do, where I go & even more personal, is my age & past: which is no ones business. It’s one thing if I freely share it, but a complete other if someone feels the need to ask 101 nosy questions abt my life. ~Thx for your answers & advice, I will find a way to gracefully answer in the life lesson you’ve given me here.
The one I hate the most is “what do you.” It opens up a line of interrogation that is so annoying.
Here's an answer that works for the "Why aren't you married/dating anyone/having children?" questions: I guess it's not my destiny. There's no arguing with destiny;)
Just say you don’t have the time for that
Only God knows is a good one 😊
I ask people where they got something if I like it and thinking of getting one myself...😭😭😭😭don't tell me I can't ask that anymore
Zinhle Sibisi right I do the same
I do not agree that the technique you described to be helpful, supportive, or empowering. As a recovering co-dependent and people pleaser I have used and witnessed the approach you mention. I have found that truth and honesty spoken clearly and directly to be the best way to approach these kinds of awkward situations.
When we speak our truth directly, saying "I don't feel comfortable answering that question. Or "Honestly, that is none of your business. Or answer with another question, "how is this matter your concern?" We take responsibility for our part in the co-creation of the conversation and reclaim our personal power and freedom, thereby, encouraging others to do the same.
I admire direct assertive communication. As difficult as it can be sometimes, it is admirable and encourages others to speak truth also. When we give "wishy washy" responses then dodge or change the subject, we are passively allowing others to push our boundaries. As women, ladies, and GODDESSES in training, it is important to model and demonstrate assertive and honest communication. This empowers ourselves, and encourages others to empower themselves and be honest also. That is my truth from my experience. Take it or leave it.
Yes, I agree 100%. As a classy woman, the best thing is being assertive. I find it empowering telling someone “It’s none of their business” or “Why are you asking me this” or “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this matter” when they ask me something. The best thing is being poised and handling everything with grace. Slow down and know you don’t owe anyone a thing. I’ve made the mistake many times, but I realize I always feel better being a queen.
@@Queen-ConsciousYa Yes. Thank you for sharing. 💚🖤🙏
@ladylove1122 I agree 💯 thank you for sharing.
great video, thanks. How to answer when my colleague keeps asking where did you go on the weekend, what did you do, with whom, what time? I dont want to answer those questions as I reckon that is unnecessary. Please advise how to answer this without hurting her feeling as we work at the same office. Thanks heaps!!
Thank you for these tips. I didn't realize that I have all types of responses that mostly involve some silence, a thoughtful pause and maybe a look. Maybe we don't need to say anything. I was rude to ask so no need to respond.
What a great topic ! I'm not comfortable with white lies or trying to change the subject (although this last option is pretty cute and charming). I need clear communication. So do you think it is possible to be a Lady and straight-forward in a gentle way in the same time ? Like for instance : " Oh It's not against you but I'm a pretty secretive person, at least on certain subjects, I keep those kinds of personal informations private."
LadyLottie Absolutely! I’m a true southern girl and I think I handle nosy questions I retry gracefully. If they keep persisting, I give them a dose of “nice-nasty!” It’s basically telling them how you really feel, but doing it with a smile. It works like a charm.
You do not owe anybody an explanation. Don't tell them you're secretive. Don't make excuses. Wayne Dyer wrote a classic:
"Pulling Your Own Strings'. Get it, and keep it for life 🙏🙌
@@Luv2shop803 Any advice on how to do that on voice call? Because the other person keeps asking and demanding an answer and guilt trip me over, and i can't just hung up the call because it's always my superiors
@@margalitvanbergen6620 you might not owe anyone an explanation but an explanation can help them realize your boundaries
I feel like if someone is nosy or rude enough to ask me a obvious inappropriate question I give myself permission to say whatever the hell I want even if it is lie.
Yesss!
Some people don’t know which questions are inappropriate and which aren’t
@@blackqweenmars That's their problem.
@@beautifulplaces2703 Just saying, not everything is obvious to everyone so you shouldn’t assume that someone is trying to be rude or nosy. I would know that because I have disorders that impede my social life. Not saying that it’s an excuse but everyone’s boundaries and backgrounds are different so even if we perceive something as rude, mean, nosy, or stupid, we should still treat everyone with respect and call people out respectfully. 2 wrongs never make a right.
Exactly true
After reading all those comments if asked a question (doesn't matter what type of question whether personal or financial) just say this : stay silent at first then say ' when I'm ready to talk about that I'll make sure and get back to you ' . Works like a piece of cake guaranteed!
It's polite without being polite ,they get the point and they'll think twice before they ask you something again!
Well to be honest I don’t mind when I get asked how old I am because in my opinion, age is just a number as long as no one discriminates against it but I get people saying things like:
I think you should stop wearing long dresses now because you’re getting too old now!
Or:
You look a bit old when you wear these two colours!
And that really upsets me because they’re making fun of what I wear and they get excessively jealous because I get the most compliments and get the nicest gifts given to me.
I get nosey questions alot. I just say why? I'm a single dad. I always get asked where is my daughter's mother or what is her name. I'll just say why. They quickly get the point.
TheDjcobra2001 That's my go to reply whenever I'm asked an intrusive question. It throughs them off. I've also learned that it stops any future questioning.
@@laurend3762it really does lol. Sometimes people will say I'm rude. I'll say the question was rude.
@@TheDjcobra2001 😂😂😂
Yup. Asking "why?" or "why do you want to know?" is the perfect, succinct response to a nosy question. It shuts them down immediately.
Same I just answer everyone’s questionsand be transparent but sometimes I’ll ask very nosy people why they want to know so much about me just to remind them that they’re asking a little too many questions.
I was in a Dermatologist's office waiting to be seen for a preventative annual sun damage-skin cancer exam.. A very "rough" looking woman sitting across from me asked loudly - "You have nice skin, what are you seeing the doctor for?" I was speechless. As an afterthought I wish I had said something like I have anal warts!
More sneaking people try to slip in the old What year did you graduate from high school as a devious means of calculating age.
Or genital herpes .
Thank you! I live in a small village in Ukraine. Here we have one very nosy woman who constantly asks us where have we bought this or that, how much and even what have we prepared today to eat.Then she passes your news spiced with her own opinion to everybody she meets. Now I know what to say to her next time. Where? - In a shop. In which shop? - In big\small clothes shop in the nearest town. I hope that will be enough for her
This video showed up in my recommended. Happy I clicked.
Thank you for watching, Valencia! 😊 I’m delighted you enjoyed it!
Why don't ppl just come out & say, that's personal/private so the one asking can know that's YOUR boundary? Everyone doesn't have the same boundaries & are fine with some questions that others aren't. Listening to some of these videos I feel like, well damn what can I say?
Fr. Some people have really tight boundaries and don’t really like talking about themselves at all or answering common polite questions and some like to overshare and talk about what most people like to keep private and now I’m anxious because everyone’s boundaries are different and I rather not touch a fire in order to find out that it can burn me if you know what I mean. These comments are anxiety inducing. What the hell are you supposed to ask a person if you don’t know there boundaries yet?
Fr. Let’s say that you like to keep your work private(which many people like to talk about) maybe just say upfront: “I don’t like to talk about that” instead of leaving people to play the boundaries guessing game
starts at #3:06
I love this but I was hoping you would give an example of someone trying to pry in someone’s love life lol. I’m dealing with a nosey person currently
Hahahahahahhahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Great video. The question I detest being asked is what are you or what is your ethnicity? How would you answer this? I did make a joke be replying with a smile & said, I am human. Isn't cool we have something in common. 😘
I am human is such a cute response! I love it! Well, I get that question and it doesn’t bother me much, I just smile and say I’m African American. Hmm, perhaps you could try responding by asking a different question to change the subject (and add a compliment for extra effect). For example, What is the name of your nail color, I love it on you!?
Usually women, not men ask such nosy questions (at least from my experience)
@@TheModernLady
I love your response. I knew you would have something clever to say & maintaining being a lady. I just adore you. Thank you so much for the advice. I will try that one, nail polish. Cheers 😉 🌷
@@TheModernLady
For me, it is 50/50 men & women.
Wow, so interesting that men also ask you! Ok! Well, it’s unfortunate but people will ask nosy questions so being able to maintain your composure is always elegant when that situation happens!
@@TheModernLady
Thank you once again for the education so I know how to always answer any questions gracefully 🙂
My coworkers get very scary attudies when I don't want to tell them my rent payment every month. Why do they get so mad at me ?
Why?
Sounds like a power game. You'll be ranked into the lower pecking order if you comply.
I think you can formulate a clever response suggested in the video.
Something like "more than I would have wanted" or "I got a great discount" or. "too much!" or something of that nature and then quickly change the subject by asking them a question.
The more pressure, the less you should say. Don’t give people at work such information. Good people (generally) don’t ask such questions unless they’re looking to rent, but they can call the landlords for that.
Oh dear. I have a family reunion coming up and I have gone no contact with most of these people for years now. Any suggestions about how to answer such questions as "what have you been up to/where have been?" And "where do you work" as well as asking about my relationship status, I would be so grateful. These are wonderful answers in the comments section and this channel is so tailor made to me ❤ the algorithm did its thing today lol
"Would you mind terribly of I kept that for myself? ".
"I don't see how that's any of your business"
Since everybody’s bringing up what they don’t like being asked, what are good questions to ask someone you just met that are unlikely to offend anyone? And what if you wanna know how much something costs because you want a similar thing? How do you make it clear that you’re not just being nosy and that you just want to get the same thing?
Just think outside the box and ask about places they love to visit or food they love to eat. That's what I do. And maybe just google the thing they have that you like and find it on your own without asking the questions. Hope that helps.
@@bumblebee_ms ya The prices and salaries for anything are online so all you really need to ask is what the item is or where it was from
@@blackqweenmars Excellent idea. Maybe that's a great way to get around it. If we look for better ways to deal with the small issues then others will follow suit.
I ask if something was expensive rather than how much it was, and I only ask if I'm genuinely curious because I'm looking into getting one. If they don't wish to answer that I wouldn't be in any way offended because I cannot stand over familiarity from strangers or intrusive questions I am deeply offended by it
@@ellemoo44 it depends on the person lol. Some people will gladly tell you everything and others are more reclusive. I say, just ask what you want and apologize if they seem upset. Everyone’s boundaries are different. As an autistic person with social communication disorder, I refrain from doing or saying anything if I’m not sure(which is often the case) because I’m already weird and outcasted and I hate to say anything wrong.
As a Spanish lady of my generation , I am very short compared to Brits. I currently live in the U.K. and I lived in Germany and Holland before .
People who haven’t even said good morning to me often ask how tall I am .
I once answered : possibly as big as your brain 😂.
Not very lady like but that was really out of context .
Next time I will answer : I will tell you when you dare approaching an overweight person in the street and ask them how much they weight !
Another horrible question since I am 51, is being asked whether I still have periods . Loudly and in public places ( thanks dear) .
this video is wonderful. i am not very social, so longer thoughtful answers are difficult, but i will keep trying :) thank you💟
I never ask anyone what they do for a living. That was typical for small talk years ago - a way of gauging someone's rank, social class, background mainly. Today, it is very rude to do that. Mainly, because so many people change career, are more abruptly socially mobile due to flexible working arrangements and many that were in good careers might be unemployed for good reasons. Not everyone wants to admit they aren't doing well or aren't earning much. So the best thing to do, when the initial small talk parts are finished, is simply to ask them if they work presently. If they say yes, let them advance the discussion further by telling you what they do. If they don't, change the subject. If they say no, just be polite and change the subject unless they furnish you with details of why they aren't working. Some are more vague and say something like 'I'm a consultant' or 'l'm in the military' 'a civil servant' or 'I work freelance'. That is a more subtle 'mind your own business answer' unless they detail who they work for and state what kind of consultant they are, what kind of services they offer or what rank they are in the Army or seniority in a civil service post. So don't ask if they don't. They probably aren't all that senior and don't want to admit it.
If someone were to ask me how much something cost, I would tell them it was gifted to me or I got in on sale or I can't really remember and leave it at that. Or I would say something funny like 'a tall dark stranger handed it to me at the traffic lights or the cat found it and dropped it in my lap one day.
If someone asks me my age and I don't want to give it, I normally say 'I'm as old as I feel - today that's 96.' Or I might say 'I'm actually 21 (even though I look years older)..pause and then say 'again.' If I was talking to Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull, I would say 'Too Old to Rock 'n' Roll, too Young to Die.' Another variant - probably a bit passe - but worked in the 20th century was 'too old for paper-round, but too young for a pension.'
How much do you earn deserves the rebuttal of 'I don't discuss my earnings'. 'or I don't feel comfortable discussing that.' It is plain rude to ask someone what they earn. Too direct and intrusive to deserve a subtle answer or humour. If they persist, tell them to mind their own business and walk off.
The most intrusive question I've ever encountered was when an old but reasonably close friend from Church I had not seen or heard of for years rang me out of the blue and asked me if my parents were still alive. When I told her my father had died recently, she then asked me if I had been left any money in the Will. Can you believe that!! I got my revenge, quite by chance a few years later when I rejoined the Church and found she was still there. Not that I set out to be vengeful. It just happened that she wanted to re-kindle our friendship again and I didn't want to - I found her too gossipy and negative and, oddly enough, too disinterested in anything to do with my life whilst rambling on incessantly about hers (quite a turnabout from before). She was not pleased, I can tell you. Unfortunately, I was.
I recently read an article that said it was good for small talk and now I’m confused because people are saying that they don’t like talking about work. So many people have different boundaries so I just use my judgment for if I should ask something or not.
Interesting. I have heard of many nosy questions but I didn’t know that “Where did you get that” can be nosy. Usually it’s asked after complimenting and I believe they just want to find the same product. Though it might be a big deal for those who don’t want to share the clothing (e.g. wearing the same dress at a formal event), I think as adult we’re more capable of just wearing any style.. right? An alternative is what if they kept asking about different clothing because you see them? Gracious is the key but I’m sure they’d start to feel awkward and upset, and wonder why it’s a big deal. I know a lot of people who share clothing to get different styles and it’s a norm around some friends.
Fr. Most people who ask that aren’t trying to be nosy. If I ask it’s just because I want to get the same thing.
It’s usually only nosy if someone has a history of being nosy and wanting to know stuff just for the sake of knowing it.
I get annoyed when ppl I do not have a relationship like a boss or someone I barely know ask me if I'm married or have kids? Or where I live? How does one answer that... I think it's nuts ppl feel entitled to ask that. Then if I say im not married I'll hear answers like o don't worry you'll find someone when in no way did I suggest I was looking. Even with kids same shit. Or ppl will say well you better hurry up times ticking. How do you answer that without sounding rude?
Girl Yes! Or they will say things like "you are missing out on being in a relationship". I would like to know what I am missing out on? Or they will they to question your sexuality. Like as if your life depends on being in one. Like I'm not rushing just to say that I am with someone to please people.
Please do a video on how to be well spoken.
These are all great, but any advice on how to answer someone who asks you what you do for a living or how much do you make an hour? I had this asked of me
I am a widow and have not started dating again. This means I do things alone. “ Just ONE? Just YOU? “ is a question I find rude.
I am a very independent woman and I feel comfortable out on my own, however, someone less confident could really be deterred from going out alone always being asked this.
Could you address this in a video ? Thank you 🙏.
It’s annoying people are just nosy . I don’t ask a lot of personal questions because I don’t care . But now anytime someone ask me something I ask them the same thing .
Starts at 2:10.
If you forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking
As always great advice girl! Thank You
Candice, you're so welcome! Thank you for watching and the kind words!
My issue is with a rather controlling friend of mine. She has me do things for her and reminds me that she asks me because she likes me better than all her other friends (yet during the weekends, she's off having fun with them). So, when she asks me if we could get together to do something I really don't want to do, I'll make up a lie and say, "Aw no I can't." and she asks why. So I'll make up something, "I'll be at the gym at that time." Then she says, "Oh, well.......can't you just......go..to..the..gym..later?" in a condescending voice talking slowly that makes me sound like a dumbass for not realizing the solution myself.
She is not a friend
@@ecclairmayo4153 She doesn't realize this, and still thinks there's absolutely nothing wrong here. She also has different "tactics" to the carrot-dangling, "Hey, I was thinking you could come over and do XYZ, and then after we can go for coffee!" so if I say no thanks to the coffee, it's the guilt-trip-tactic, "Well I haven't seen you in a few weeks now, I want to get together!" It's just like having a boss for a friend, who tasks you with doing whatever she needs when she needs it, tells you it's because you're genuine while everyone else is fake, yet goes and hangs out with everyone else during the weekends and has fun with them. You're absolutely right-- she's not a friend. I tried explaining this to her the other day and she demanded I take it back which I refused.
@@pugernoufer - you dont need to explain anything to her! If I were you, I would stop hanging out with her. This relationship is draining and toxic and its doing nothing for you
How do you deal with people at work in a classy way when they are messy ?
Thank you very much for making this video! I’m not a woman but obviously there are things in here that we can all benefit from. I have a question. My wife and I have many close friends and family. And my current employment involves a lot of travel. People are constantly asking both of us where did I go and where am I going next. Any help here? I’d love to have a humorous and graceful way of dodging this for these people who are close to me. Thanks!
Why not say " I went to the moon and back" what can they say to that? They might even giggle.
One thing that i'm going to try is..." funny you should ask that. I was just talking to someone the other day..." And it doesn't matter whether it is about the subject or not. It might throw them off guard and their game. At least that's my hope. I have a very nosy sister-in-law who just likes to gather information so she can somehow use it to her advantage later. I was also thinking of saying something like..." interesting question... i'll have to think about that..." and then go to the bathroom. And the age old "hmmm... Why do you ask?" Asking questions in return puts you in the driver's seat, i have recently read.
A nosy neighbor asked me about my new car yesterday. Out of the blue, he mentioned my car. I said, oh it's a leased car.. so there. I don't want to give him the wrong impression that I buy a new car every several years. Nah, not his type, he's friends with a couple of narcs in the building. I had a feeling that the narcs are trying to pry off some information out of me. I consistently mentioned, it's a leased car. That makes them feel better. I chose to be truthful to a handful of true friends.
I have a house full of ladies we watch and learn from you all the time....💗🙏💯
Common questions lately are where do you work and what do you do for work - I don't think my occupation is someone's business- and a lady did that yesterday out of nowhere and said don't you work for ??? I'm thinking why does it matter in my mind this is not a job interview, and I answer the question due to on the spot in front of other staff I am frustrated cause it's not a topic of a subject
I have a hard time not being nasty at people who ask too many questions , at my job people see you leaving the work area and they ask you if you are going on break . This is people that I don’t work in the same section with and are unaffected by me going on a break …. People just need to talk less in general
I just bought a "new to me" car. My dream car, a Ford Thunderbird! The first thing a close friend said was "how on earth are you able to afford that?" Ughhhh, I was raised that it is extremely rude to ask invasive questions. Especially about money, age, weight. But I am constantly being subjected to these, especially now, with my new car!
How should I handle questions about my appearance such as is that your real hair? Nails? Eyelashes? Thanks in advance.
I would suggest using humor, like I mentioned in the video. Perhaps you could laugh and say, my lashes are pretty long, aren't they? You can attempt to make a joke out of the fact that a person feels the need to inquire details about your appearance.
I would say "wouldn't you like to know" with a big smile, or "I guess we'll never know and laugh" dunno if that's classy or not 🤔
So I have a really annoying boss who ALWAYS! wants to know where I get every piece of clothing I have. and comments to other co-workers that I seem to not know or remember where I purchased my clothes anytime she asks. So ANNOYING as if I have a brand new wardrobe every week and don't own older clothing in my closet. How do I respond to her each time she asks where I purchased something?
I would tell her it was a gift, each time she asks, maybe she’ll give up
I would love some advice! I am building a house and I often get asked how many square feet our home will be or how much our home costs. It’s so hard to avoid answering and my husband and I are not open to sharing. I would love some helpful tips! 💗
How about: I'll be happy to give you the name of my builder if you're interested."
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I cannot believe people are this bold
How would you gracefully respond to someone who overshares about what they spend on things when no one asks and seems boastful?
I know right I be thinking to myself like I did not ask you all of that. Or sometimes I come out and tell them you know you don't have to share all of that.
People actually ask me what's wrong w me when i show up w a cane! Stop it!
How do you deal with controlling people or people you can never do anything right for.
Aunesty Thompson Ignore them. Ignore their behavior and they’ll move on. Your boundaries will teach them how to treat you. It’s very effective.
@@sheisasurvivor8479 i have a new job and my husband works there also.I am always bombarded with nosey questions everyday about our marriage and now its to the point i just look at them when they ask questions.
Get this book by the late Wayne Dyer : "Pulling Your Own Strings".
And keep it for life. It'll be your lifesaver 🙌😎🌷
The question is why do you keep surrounding yourself with controlling people who are not the right fit for you?
I constantly get asked, "Do you have kids? Are you married? Now I know, I will add humor and say I've been a widow of 8 😂😂 or I have 12 kids, 12 ducks, 1 chicken. Thank you, great idea, smart.
I'm young enough to not forget that I'm old enough to know better.
That's the one we use here in the south!
I straight up ignore them and stay focused on work. They always go away instantly and never come back.