The Psychology of Generational Trauma in Turning Red: Ming - Therapist Reacts!
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
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Psychotherapist Georgia Dow explains how an overbearing parent like Ming Lee in "Turning Red" is lead to become that way due to generational trauma.
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When Mei is caressing her mom´s hair at the beginning, she is replicating the same thing her mom did to her after the drawings incident while in the car. Mei is such a gentle and caring daughter.
Aww, I never spotted that! Thanks so much for enlightening us! 😘💖
Amazing thing to notice : ) what perfect mirroring
I think it also shows the success of Ming as a mother despite her flaws. Mei has learned to replicate her mother's best qualities as positive expressions.
Mei standing in the Christmas photo.
Please her parent. She will be what her mom wants.
That seen bugged me.
I feel sorry for the older generation of generational trauma. They didn't have access to the tools and the therapies we do now. At the same time, it's equally sad that some of them may choose not to heal even if you placed these resources at their feet, which really makes it harder for the younger generation to heal.
Great analysis as always! And I love the costume. I'm getting total Tiger Mom vibes from where I sit. :)
My mom and I are, as I like to say, “the same flavor of crazy”. She’s now in her 50s and has not had an easy life. I’m in my late 20s and I’m learning to handle my hypersensitivity, and as much as I resent not learning sooner, I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to figure these things out young. I find myself teaching her a lot. She wasn’t a good mom, like at all, but as I get older it’s easier to understand just where all her behaviors stemmed from. It’s sad. Go to therapy guys, it’s worth it
@@eileensnow6153 I love that you're encouraging us to go to therapy but my parents don't want me going to therapy even though I'm 23 turnings 24 so
@@shevaunvan-hoff4069 I hope you know that my encouragement is genuine. Even if your parents are against it, your feelings are valid and you deserve the opportunity to explore them. I wish you well :)
Seeing Red and Encanto do a wonderful job of portraying and explaining generational trauma.
thank you very much Wesley
I agree. They're my comfort movies, because they see a resolution to it. I haven't gotten to that point in my life, but knowing that it could happen, makes me feel a bit better
There's something I've been rolling around in my head in rewatching the scene of Ming and Mei in the forest - Ming says "I'll never be good enough for her - *or anyone*." Even though her very legitimate concern about hurting her mom has been what's stayed with her, if this was the same incident where she had to defend Jin, I'm thinking there's also a smaller part of her that thought, "Oh shit, Jin's gonna leave me now that he's seen me like this."
That hurts knowing that Ming feels like her husbands love is conditional.
@@Specters0rd It hurts and it’s beautiful because we know the ending. We see Jin react with worry for Ming and Mei, but not with disgust or hatred at Ming’s panda. He shows up to draw the chalk outline for the ceremony. Hell, he even speaks of Ming’s panda with a sort of fearful reverence. I could write an essay about Jin, he’s not appreciated enough imo. I hope she’ll do a video on him!
@@eileensnow6153 Yeah... Jin takes his wife's feelings as his own and I would to see Georgia talk about here too.
@@eileensnow6153 Exactly- we know that he finds Ming's panda magnificent!
@@Specters0rd I don't see it that way, Jin may be reserved in expressing his opinion, but it's always his own, and I think that's why he and Ming wound up together.
Jin loves Ming *because* she's a protective firebrand. She's confident, forward, and goes out of her way to defend those she cares about.
And Ming loves Jin because he's a kind and gentle listener. He's there to comfort her no matter how big of a mess she is, and when he does speak up he's able to give sound, grounding advice. He doesn't expect anything of Ming but to be herself, and he's the only one who tries to calm her when Mei runs away.
The fact that Jin was the one thing Ming was willing to stand up to her mother for shows how much they care for each other.
Ming is someone, whom a lot of people from the 70s and 80s can relate. Hell - even I was going to school in a time, when success was defined as a lack of failure, but success is overcoming failure. People who subscribed to the former waste their life and mental wellbeing in pursuit of a very shallow image of perfection and let themselves be cornered, which is not a great place to be at. She deserves a hug. Or several... :-)
Thank you for this comment, it was bautiful. It's still something I needed to hear.
@@obara7366 well I am happy to have brightened your day. ^^ As Charlie Chaplin once said "... human beings are like that - we want to live by each others happyness, not each others misery." (yes, he said it in the movie The Great Dictator, so it was likely made up by someone else, but still) I hope your days will be filled with positivity from here on out! ^^
@@Eckister That reminds me of my favourite line from my favourite manga about a 30 year old who thinks he's too old to follow his dreams of becoming an astronaut.
He asks his aunt why do people live and she says, "We live to give others the courage to live, and to receive that courage in return."
Nothing has ever hit me as hard as that. I cried so much, and still cry over it.
Thank you for sharing your kindness with me.
@@obara7366 whoa, that's strong! :-O I love that quote!
I think that everyone from different generations can relate to that.
Pointing out that the aunties were Ming's sisters is making me wonder where Ming falls out. Given that there are 4 aunties, that would mean that grandma had 5 kids.
What if Ming was child number 4? Grandma has shown a major fear of the number 4 (given that 4 sounds like death in Chinese). Maybe Ming's mother was extra hard on her trying to prevent any "bad luck #4" stuff. Unfortunately, it accidentally resulted in Ming repressing her feelings and then her panda went kaiju.
Pretty good theory, although I've seen it stated that only two of the aunties are Ming's sisters and the other two are her cousins.
@@ThePSWarrior I just looked it up and you're right. Chen and Ping are her sisters. It's unclear what the age order is, but Ming is likely the youngest.
I thought they were all Ming's Aunties and her mom's siblings. They look old enough.
Id say thats a pretty solid theory
That might also explain why Ming’s panda is the biggest out of everyone’s
As always love your cosplay! I liked how Ming showed the cycle of generational abuse, in that she didn't want Mei to feel as isolated and alone as she had with her gift, and in the process of protecting her little girl, became just as worse as her own mother.
Thank you ! And wonderful insights
I'm a guy (late 20s) and I was genuinely surprised by how much I could relate to this movie. Especially the scene where Mei guides her mother through the forest (=her trauma) got to me because that's pretty much what I've been doing for half of my life now with my mom who's the product of decades worth of emotional abuse and neglect by my grandma.
That is wonderful you can relate to it and that you have been guiding others
Omg same!!!!!
@@GeorgiaDow Now next one is Turning Red: Jin - Therapist Reacts!
Being a caretaker for our parent's abuse can give us maturity and compassion beyond our years but also give us boundary issues. Here's wishing you balance and others meeting your needs.
Seeing Ming's red panda inside Mei's Tamagotchi was lovely. It showed she's slowly and safely dealing with her issues. In Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sam Wilson is talking with veterans about how to cope with their emotional trauma. He tells them "Some stuff we leave there. other stuff you bring back. It's our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase or in a little manpurse? It's up to you".
Yes and loving it. I wish I had mentioned it cause that is a beautiful show of coming to terms with it
Sam's experience as a counselor is one of the reasons I think he should have been able to handle the Walker situation better in Falcon and the Winter Soldier
When each generation has tried to protect the next one that they end up creating what they wanted to protect them from. I believe that sums up all of humanity history.
Well said
The best moment in my life, was when my mom sat me down and apologized for my childhood.
I was an adult by then
I had long forgiven her
But to hear her say she was sorry for how bad my childhood was and how her and my dad didn't handle it like they should?
It's done so extremely much for me. More than I can ever describe
So beautiful I’m happy you had this moment
I don’t think my mom ever apologized to me… not sincerely. She acknowledges that she didn’t give us what she wanted for us but that’s not the same as apologizing. I don’t think it’ll ever happen.
I’ve come to term that I will never have this moment with my own family, but it makes me so so happy that someone out there have it.
Best wishes to you and your loved ones :D
I completely relate to that, my mom was emotionally abusive to my brother and I when we were younger. It hurts to have someone who is supposed to protect you, give you love, and guidance to just completely withhold it. To have her tearing me down almost every day. I've always struggled to feel loved by my family, especially my own parents. I don't hold it against her because these were learned behaviors that were passed down and repressed emotions coming out because of her being stressed, overwhelmed, and also feeling unloved, mostly by my father. Thankfully she also apologized for how she treated us, expressed how terrible it made her feel to realize she was tearing down and harming her own children. Our relationship has gotten so much better over the past few years, and she's helped me push forward with my mental health journey which has made me get better. I'm sad that I didn't get to have that support as a child, but I'm so glad that I finally have it now. She's done so good at getting better with stepping back and looking at how she wants to approach certain issues that arise instead of going into something overwhelmed and blinded by emotions. I'm extremely proud of her.
I'm very glad you also got an apology, since I know how much a sincere apology can mean. I'm glad that it's helped you, hopefully like it has with me.
@@cookedricee it's amazing how those two words can mean the world to you and have such a positive impact on your life when they're said from the heart ❤
As an Asian American immigrant. The movie turning red made me spark a conversation with my mom and my grandma to ask how it got to this point. It's frightening how accurate of what is happening to the movie. Because of all the emotional stress I got for 20 years. I started to go to therapy and abandon my computer engineer major to psychologist in order to understand why things were the way they were.
@jf k For me, it is what it is. It's up to me the current generation of my family to break this behavior. That is why I have to abandon my computer engineer goal in life in order to be a psychologist to tackle mental health to myself and help others.
@@TheUnboxer073 I love that for you. I applaud you for how brave you are to take that leap. I agree. There are a lot of mental health issues from all the pressure in the Asian community. I hope things work out for you and we truly need to break the cycle.
One thing I love about that scene with the mom in the bamboo forest... Ming fears she will never be good enough. And that includes to her own daughter.
So much of her behavior can be seen as trying to be the perfect MOM, as well as the perfect daughter.
yes it was a beautiful scene
22:57 Slight disagreement here but let me explain - Mei always wanted to go to the concert the right way, getting permission from her parents and being respectful about it (she even did a POWER POINT presentation for it!) but if Ming had been flexible about it from the beginning, Mei never would've rebelled the way she did. Going to the concert & forcibly taking her back home (as a Panda or person) would've only widened the divide. Waiting till Mei came back home herself & talking about it then would've allowed them to come to a resolution with far less intense emotions involved while still showing Mei that she can't just do things without consequence but I think Mei was already aware of this but saw no other way, because in truth.....there wasn't - Ming wasn't willing to allow it so.
@jf k it’s still solid advice & while it may be true that a parent is never going to do this for whatever reason i can’t think of rn, it doesn’t exclude the fact that the advice given in the comment should be practiced & should be told to parents as an alternative to lashing out & doing what Ming did
@jf k exactly, that’s why I said “while it may be true a parent is never going to do this for whatever reason I can’t think of rn” that “whatever reason” was what you stated, sorry if that wasn’t made clear in my reply.
But even so, in the video Georgia gives advice to take a deep breath, let yourself calm down & handle the situation calmly or something to those words. That ofc isn’t always going to work but it’s good to practice & remember when you feel or realise your emotions are getting overbearing & you’re experiencing a great amount of stress or anger.
@jf k Yes. We get it. Ming is a fleshed out human character. It doesn't mean she didn't still screw up.
Nobody denies that she had her reasons.
The right thing to do is whatever prevents your child from getting snatched up by a pedophile 13 year olds can't go do things without adult supervision for a reason beyond your mom doesn't like the music.
@@hkr0065 Right sometimes parents can be wrong.
Not sure if anyone else has pointed this out, there's one small thing that this movie does really well when it comes to portraying Asian families: Mei, her mom, and her grandma NEVER say "I love you" to each other. Even at the end of the movie when Mei hugs her mom, she simply says "I'll be home by dinner," which is completely opposite from the ending in Luca ("You know I love you, right?").
This is so accurate because as a 30-year-old Taiwanese, the last time I said "I love you" to my mom was when my middle school teacher forced all the kids to say that to our parents as a homework assignment (which all our parents all thought we wanted money or something 😂). We don't say that to each other because it's just not normal in Asian culture in general. Of course we love our parents and they love us, but we NEVER say it out loud to each other.
@jf k It's still better to say it as it is though.. Just like Apologize.. while there are so many ways you can say Sorry but it would be nicer to say "I'm Sorry for putting so much pressure to you" or "I deeply apologize for putting so much pressure to you" rather than
"you don't need to apologize, I'm your mother"..
I find this interesting cuz in my Asian family my parents say "I love you" to my brother and I pretty often so it's interesting how most Asian families don't do that
Pretty much. Being Asian, can confirm Asian families typically show affection through gestures and food - LOTS of food - rather than specific words.
Idk, maybe it's more common in the south? I'm a Filipino born and raised in the UAE, and saying "I love you" is pretty common in my family, and from what I can tell, the family of other Filipinos too.
Thanks for the culture lesson ❤
One thing I want to touch upon since it wasn't brought up here. In the scene where Meiling was talking with her father Jin before the sealing ceremony, Jin says that the fight that had Ming give her mother that scar was from Ming standing up for Hers and Jins relationship. Ming's mother did not approve of Jin upon meeting him and apparently did or said something about/to him to make Ming do what she did.
Can we just acknowledge the fact that despite not having much screen time or spoken lines we are able to learn that Jin is an amazing father and husband. Ming loves him so much she went panda and attacked her mother to defend him from something her mother had done. Yeah Ming feels incredibly guilty for harming her mother, but clearly loved Jin enough to continue being with him despite her mother's disapproval. And Jin still wanted to be with her even after learning about the panda, sticking by her side this whole time.
"you don't have to apologise, I'm your mum" is words I will never hear.
I hope it does happen someday.
I cried when i heard the grandma say those words, because i just want to hear it for myself😭
I was sobbing at that scene.
i also noticed when we first see ming in the bamboo forest her hair is completely down, showing us she’s vulnerable. but as mei walks her through the forest her hair changes from down, to ponytail, to bun. her hair symbolizes how uptight and perfect is expected to be as the years go by
Mirabel 🤝Mei Mei
"Ending Generational Trauma"
Truth
Mirabel: end generacional trauma
mei: shows your interior 🤡 and dont be a responsable person , Let your inner demons controlate you
You know, it's a shame that even with all the meaningful commentary and analysis of this film, some people STILL come out of the movie thinking that this is an anti-film movie, a perverse movie that teaches children to diss their families and "unleash the beast and be one with Satan", because they beyond missed the point. If anything it's a PRO-family film that teaches us that true family love does not come by form of helicopter parenting or tight control but accepting your family as who they are and be their guides and mentors through life till they come of age. Plus this being a female-led film with an Asian woman at the helm, can't help but feel that some are being low-key racist about the imagery in the film and what it represents to Asian Families. I am loving these analysis series for movies and characters and can't wait for more!
Be one with Satan?💀
I have to give credit to my in-laws, because both of them inherited some generational trama from their families. But when they got married, they were careful and deliberate about breaking the trend, and did a wonderful job raising my husband and his brother. Both brothers had trauma in their lives, but it was from other places and they were able to help each other overcome it as a family. They remain a tight-knit family, and I'm proud to now be one of them.
As someone who always had to live with anger (especially as a woman) I almost couldn’t believe how much I related to Mei Lee.
That constant need for perfection and control is often done out of good intentions to present ourselves to the world, but it can also bleed off onto the people we love. Suddenly they feel intimidated, kept to a higher standard that we never really intended to put on them. We just wanted our best selves and the best outcomes for them.
I know that’s not every case, but I often see it with others who have high tempers with good natures.
Plus, I love how you cosplay each character! Took me a couple of videos to catch on! Would actually love to see a video of Tyler’s progression in the movie!
Well fuck, you just explained me o(-(
This was actually something I've spoken about with my partner, that when we have children I want to be open with my children, if they are old enough to ask a question I will answer it, with their age in mind. I was worried that this might not be a good option because of reactions from other people when I said this but hearing it here makes me feel so much more confident in how I want to teach my children about the world.
That means the world to me. Thank you for sharing and it sounds like you will be a wonderful parent. Even just discussing this before you have children matters so much
Fair warning from someone who was raised with "she'll ask when she's ready" depending on the kid, they won't ask and they'll get horrible information/trauma from other sources. So deffo be proactive and teach your kids too especially when it comes to things like s*xual education (not censoring for people but for youtube)
The school especially fails children in this so please be proactive when it comes to this type of protection that your child will need 💗
I'm sure you were already planning on doing this but i figured i'd say it just in case in order to make sure some kids don't have my upbringing
I relate so strongly with Mei's relationship with Ming. I've always had a pretty strained relationship with my mom, but after going through the loss of a close friend, in which I was directly involved, we got past a lot of our differences and difficulties and have had a much better relationship. While it's still somewhat strained after being 4 years removed from the event, it's certainly not nearly as bad as it was before. So when I watched Turning Red I started crying at the end when they were making amends. As soon as I get home from school I'm going to be asking my mom to watch it with me to try and use it as a conversation starter to hopefully work on it with her 🥰
Good Luck! I hope your Mom opens up so you guys can both heal!
This really resonates a lot for me with an Asian family that has generational trauma. The film really made me feel seen but at the same time made me sad unfortunately due to my mother having a handful of mental illnesses which makes it hard to have a heart-to-heart conversation at times regarding trauma. Nonetheless, I absolutely loved your analysis on Ming and Mei Mei.
How dare you viscerally call me out by being me 😭😭🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝
you should consider reaching out to collab with cinema therapy! you guys have a lot in common and id love to see you guys share your approaches
That would be a lot of fun maybe they will ask me someday
yes there isnt enough therapy on the internet!
YES!
Y E S!!! 😭
I would have loved if they showed a tiny bit of Ming's moms backstory, just to show how far the trauma goes. I imagine the trauma only gets worse the further back you go.
I genuinely waited for your Ming episode before watching the other younger women's videos, because I myself have my very own Ming as my mom and let me tell you this video has spoken to me and my mom's own struggle of her raising me since I was a baby til this day, and the fact that Georgia talked about the reconciliation scene before Ming's parenting scenes kinda shook me to my core because a similar situation happened to me and my mom in that sure we might have a huge difference in personalities she still loves me and supports me in every way she can despite the generational trauma she inadvertently passed down to me as her firstborn and only daughter to my younger male siblings.
Impressed you knew I would cover ming and I hope you find it help
i have to say that i was in mei's side when she went to the concert LOL I relate to her, when I was a teenager music was literally the only thing I had and my mom not letting me go to see them live because they were "weird" it was painful lol
My mom was like “seriously, you need to make some friends, stop listening to your dad’s old music and check out some of these boy bands all your classmates like. Which one do you want to try? Come on, I’ll buy the CD…”
And you know what she got in return? As an adult with two tickets to a concert I was looking forward to… I offered her the second. And we had a lot of fun. ❤️
(But I still like Dad’s old music. Even Bob Dylan, no matter how much mom teases us about his singing ability)
@@bookcat123 I liked "emo bands" when i has a teenager 😂 (and i still love them actually) so for her it was just weird and loud music
@@shineecrystal Ah, well. My little sister was into emo… then from there goth/symphonic rock. And dad and I both fell in love with her goth rock, so there we go, I finally liked some modern bands! Though perhaps not a particularly modern style… 🎶
I think mom found that an improvement on Bob Dylan, which she did classify as weird. Though she didn’t mind other artists covering what he wrote. She just kept insisting he couldn’t carry a tune.
This movie, hoo-boy, it was like getting punched in the face. It was relatable on multiple levels, as an immigrant for example. It's also nice to see you've amassed quite the following, I knew you would, people rather like better understanding the stories they see.
I love how Ming was also given the Tomogachi (please tell me I spelled that right) or Robaire Jr. It gives her something to take care of and fawn over and it may also help her reconcile with her red panda self too. Having her connect to the spirit inside by taking care of it and playing with it.
My mom and my grandma had to have a lot of deep talks when they lived together around when my lil sis was born. My granny definitely has passed down a lot of trauma, but being under my mom's roof with my mom's rules really made her self reflect and she's gotten so much better since I was a child that her and I were then able to get through a lot of deep problems we had together. I'm so happy that she was able to grow like she did especially at her age and it both gives me hope for others, but also lacking patience for those who actively refuse to ever accept their wrong doings and hiding behind their trauma instead of dealing with it (which is what my bio-father ended up doing and it destroyed him to the point that neither myself nor my older sibling have any relationship with him because he let his trauma make him into a horribly toxic person).
Seeing movies like this and Encanto are really validating for me because of this, and it's why I'm so here for this trend of focusing on different kinds of generational trauma. Our grandparents and parents often come from times and places that give them so much pain and suffering that they don't get support for. We need to be understanding of this fact while holding them to account for how they have allowed the pain to effect their behaviors.
honestly this movie has so many relatable characters, and you can learn so much about them. They really did a good job at showing us where the characters come from and Ming is also understandable in her ways of parenting.
I cried watching this movie. I understand wanting to help my mom through her emotional trauma. My mom was a single mom, so all we had was each other. And I also SWEAR ive heard my mom tell me something similar to what Ming told Mei at the end, about pushing herself so hard to make everyone happy, and that the farther she goes away from Ming, the prouder she will be.
My mom also watched this movie and told me that Mei reminded her of me at that age, in that Mei is "larger than life and trying to discover herself and accept herself". Sooo yeah I love this movie lol.
With the grandma, she didn’t want to see control of the panda, she wanted it to not exist at all. Control would have been what Mei achieved, acknowledging those feelings and handling them, letting it out at the right time. Sealing the panda away was just as close to killing it entirely as they could achieve, leaving it undealt with.
@jf k It's a metaphor, man. And it still applies. Rage and fury are good in war with enough power to back it up, but outside of war, letting anger fly is a terrible thing, but it's still healthy for us to feel and acknowledge those emotions. Bottling them up just makes it eat at you, Ming and her anxieties and uptightness is a clear sign of that. She's kept that enormous panda, those enormous emotions sealed away, just like the panda in the amulet, stewing in it and at the same time acting as if it's not there at all and winds up projecting those anxieties on her daughter instead.
@@NecrochildK Exactly. Anger is a normal healthy emotion. What's important is how we process that emotion. Repressing negative emotions i.e. trying to seal them away is as unhealthy as lashing out because of them. Even in the end, Ming's panda wasn't sealed in the same way as before, she's now able to interact with it, she is dealing with her panda, just in a different way to Mei.
I keep seeing people annoyed at the blatant discussion of periods in the movie, because they’re kids end up asking awkward questions; but tbh I think that’s a good thing if this movie can naturally bring up those questions. Girls really should be hearing about periods and becoming comfortable with the idea as early as age ten, as some girls can get their periods very early, and understanding what’s happening helps make it less stress; I got mine at only eleven, and luckily my mom had already talked with me a few months previous.
Right the movie was literally aimed at young girls around that age. It was far from inappropriate.
I remember one woman complaining that she had to explain periods to her 12 and 15 year old sons because of the movie and it was like. Your teenager should have already known and kids in your 12 year olds class have probably already started having them.
Didn't think you'd talk about Ming since I was still focused on Abby's video but I'm glad you did! It's also nice seeing you talk about scenes you mentioned in Mei's video but this time focusing more on her mom
I love that she dyed her hair red for this video! /S
Hahaha ! Great one
Great Video, Great explanation, I hope in the future there's no more Tiger Parenting or Toxic Parenting method anymore..
Parents needs to make rules and guidelines BUT most importantly Parents needs to provide a healthy communication with their children.. Make Your Children always comfortable to tell the truth, give them some rewards for tell the truth.. Don't shouting and blame their mistakes but encourage them to fix their mistakes when they tell the truth..
19:41 This was the moment in the movie where I *really* had to suspend disbelief that those parents didn't call the police after a shapeshifting monster-girl attacked their son in their own home. Ming must be a VERY smooth talker to prevent them from making that phone call.
To be honest, I feel like Tyler's parents are very uninvolved. It could be why he (Tyler) is always acting disruptively to get attention. And his parents are aware of how he can behave at times and may be partially at fault for the incident, which is why they never got the police involved.
I LOVE that you mention that some people like to be sung happy birthday and some... don't lol. As the person who climbed under a table and cried when my family, servers, and other resturaunt goers sang it to me as a child...I absolutely feel the second part of your statement. (They meant well, but just...no)
Yes people just dont think that someone may not want the attention nd they are just being shy.
I like how you dress up similar to each character your reviewing
Yes it’s such fun
I really like how your videos are structured like, "I have a topic I want to talk about and here are examples of that topic," rather than, "Here's the movie and I'm going to call out examples live and disjointedly."
So happy you noticed that and enjoy it. I think it is a fun way to discuss issues through a medium we love.
That's what i love about you , you don't see people as people
You see each person as a unique individual univese of its own even imaginary characters.
And that's beautiful
I thought the aunties were the grandma’s sisters which would make more sense from a design perspective
It’s also common for Chinese families in the west to do this because I was told to call a girl older than me, my niece despite in English technically being her cousin
Some of them are cousins some of the are aunts.
I connected emotionally with the daughter and mom and I almost cried to that movie 10 separate times because it felt to me and to real and I love metaphors and the diverse representation it's just amazing and those characters hit too deep in my soul that I don't think I should watch it again with people around me cuz I might actually start crying
The mom taking the 'smut' to the shop felt like scarier than any other horror movie i have ever seen :P
When my period first showed up, I didn't know what to do so I stuffed toilet paper in my underwear for two days. Then that night I asked my mom and grandma what I should be doing and they simply showed me where the pads were told me to use them.
Looking at Ming, another "Disney Mom" came into my mind: Elinor from Merida. She and her daughter could also be interesting for a future video, if you wanna check them out! ^^
Can confirm, that journaling dose help for me at least, I find it doesn't evan have to make sense, sure in the moment of writing it dose but going back and re-reading it doesn't make any sense :D
So thank you georgia for your videos, it was you and your tips about journaling that I tried it out when I was having non-stop cycling thoughts and I find things don't trigger me as much, Less spiralling so positive feedback instead of a negative one.
Anyway thank again
Ps, your video are also fun to watch
I see myself and mum when I see Mei and Ming.
In East Asian culture, the young people are expected to respect and obey the older (not necessarily elders but someone literally older than you) people.
Meaning, the older people are expected to be worthy of those respects and obedience and act like "mature adult". Showing bare emotions is not considered mature , such as crying out loud, showing tears, or screaming in joy. You can show very subtle emotions like smiling, instead of laugh out loud. You are not meant to openly discuss your personal issue to younger people because it would mean you are not "adult" enough that you need someone who is younger than you to solve your problem.
Something I picked up from another reaction video to this movie: in China, apparently, the mole near Ming's eye is called a "tear mole." People who have one of these supposedly cry more readily than others. It's a visual cultural hint that gives a little more insight into Ming's personality beyond her strait-laced, controlling, perfectionistic exterior. She's the kind of person who *needs* to express her more difficult emotions, the ones the movie calls "messy" -- her anger, her pain, her sorrow, her frustration, her fear -- but she's bottled up a lot of those things along with the panda.
wow that is so interesting thank you for sharing that.
Disney needs to make more movies like this. Projection can cause a cycle that is difficult to stop.
watching your videos is so soothing… you’re like my therapist who isn’t actually my therapist lol
Aww thanks so much quite a compliment
I related so deeply with this movie when it comes to the generational trauma part. I also had to walk my mother through the process of healing instead hurting the people she loves.
Perfect example showing if one tries to completely suppress their undesirable feelings: they'll build and build and eventually explode!
I really loved this video! This movie spoke to me a lot more than I thought it would. I kept hearing so much about it, so I decided to give it a shot. So glad I did! One of the biggest burdens I carried with me into adulthood was the trauma (little t) that I experienced trying to be perfect, trying to never make a mistake, and trying to live up to unrealistically high standards/expectations. Not to say that I hadn't made any kind of improvements during that time, but I feel like mostly I'd take a step forward, then also have to take two steps back. I had what could amount to a nervous breakdown when I was in middle school and got my first B, then again in university when things felt completely out of control. It took me 18 years before I finally sought out help and actually followed through with it (finding an absolutely stellar therapist!). The first time I tried, much earlier, I was VERY put off by a counselor because they were focused on religion and that's not what I wanted. I was too young and too stubborn to realize I should have just tried someone else.
Now I encourage people in need, if they are able to, to see a therapist. It literally changed my life. Without that and my dog (just turned 4), I don't know what kind of dark, downward spiral I would have found myself in at this point. I've discovered so much about myself with just a bit of assistance, just a bit of a push. It was interesting, I did such a good job masking everything in my life to the point that everyone else seemed to think my home life was amazing, my family was perfect, that I was nothing short of a happy individual. Maybe not to that level, but it's what it felt like. When in reality, it was far from any of those things. I spent so much time thinking "Other people have it much worse, what do I have to complain about?" that I completely disregarded my own feelings. I spent so much time and effort trying to support others that I barely supported myself. My biggest critic has always been myself, to the point that I treated myself far worse than I would ever treat any other individual.
It has taken so much for me to fight against years and years of how I (consciously and subconsciously) wired and re-wired my brain to finally discover who I am. So much of my early life was spent following the path that was laid out for me by my parents. And they did really mean the best for me. And still do! But I needed to break away from what they planned for me to find myself. How I truly feel. What I really want. And that's all still a work in progress! But it feels so much better now that I at least have an idea of the source of issues I deal with today.
thank you and i hope your story will help others who are on the fence about therapy.
I think the scene in the bamboo forest is so interesting, because Ming was wearing an uniform so we can assume that traumatic episode took place qhen she was so young, and Meimei leads her through the forest and we can see that her mom has been carrying those feelings her whole life. She never had the support group her daughter has.
And it is really nice that Meimei can break the cycle and make the decision to live her life differently at such a young age.
You look absolutely stunning in those greens and blues! :D
I love how Ming isn't a bad person, and you get it very quickly with how she dotes on her daughter when she finds out her period has arrived. She loves MeiMei so much! She reminds me a little about Abuela from Encanto in that way that she has past trauma that she is passing on to MeiMei, but in this one MeiMei and Ming gets to heal faster so that MeiMei can grow up into the healthy adult she's bound to become :D I also love how the dad is so supportive and understanding about the issues that come tumbling against them. He's more of a background character in the beginning, and doesn't really step in until it's time for the ceremony with information that MeiMei might need or want to know about what has happened in the past. Will you do a video about him too? :D
I love how you explained what’s happened on a deeper level on Turning Red! I almost cried a few times because of how much you said hit home. I feel I should share this to my parents and have them watch the movie! It’s such a great movie and I relate to everything in the movie itself! I will have to share this! Awesome work! ^-^
My helicopter of a mother always reading my journal even though I had never gotten in trouble or given her reason to is why I still can no longer journal today without super anxiety.. 😅 I had to pause that scene about 3 times to get through it when I first watched the movie.
The lashing out beacuas you just got so angry is Kinda relatable ngl. I dont think I've ever hurt a person i care about like her (at least not physicly). But i do have a problem with breaking important stuff and REALLY regreting it afterwards, or saying something or making a gesture. So the pain of doing something irraversable due to overwhelming anger i saw in young Ming hit pretty hard.
i love how you break down the relationships between characters from the perspective of a therapist, i want to go to college for psychology and hopefully become a therapist for teens and your videos inspire me to keep it up :) P.S, i absolutely love the cosplays in every video, they're gorgeous!
Thanks so much I wish you the best in your studies and I’m proud to inspire you. Thanks for being a part of my community
Could you maybe react to Moriarty from BBCs „Sherlock“ and try to analyze his psyche?
I really hope that you keep on making these videos for some time.
They are so wonderful and... relatable
So excited for a video on Ming I feel like she’s also very interesting
Beautiful said, I really admire your words and how much thought you put into these, stay safe and healthy🥰💖
Thank you! You too!
(Toy Story 3 reference)
Tyler: Hey! Where’s that psycho ming?
Abby: Yeah! I’d like to loosen her stitching!
Mei: Forget it guys. She’s not worth it!
This movie was so healing and makes me so emotional. I relate to Mei Mei so much because my parents are so neglectful and my mother is very narcissistic from her own family trauma she doesn't understand. My mom also hates this movie and thinks it's demonic (which makes me sad because of course it's what she's always been told to invalidate and ignore her own emotions) and it's why she parents that way as well. I am so grateful for this video and your reaction and break down. It was super enlightening and made me cry thank you!
18:37 Never, Under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, Pause A Disney or Pixar Movie
Ming grew up under her mother's thumb so she tries to guide Meiling with love and support, but she never saw the issue with boundaries so she never learned to draw them between her and MeiMei. She did her best while still dealing with her own pain.
The moment I see you videos the first thing I do is like it than watch it cause your videos r always amazing
Aww that is such an honor thanks
one of my issues with this movie was that everything seemed to get sorted out without any actual conversation happening, compared to the back and forth that happened in encanto it felt so much like things got brushed under the rug without actual solution :( felt like it needed another 10 minutes where they actually addressed the issues properly not just hugged the issue away
But then Encanto the entire movie was about solving that one issue, this it was more a side story rather than the main focus ¬_¬
I get where you're coming from but personally I don't think the movie intended to "resolve everything" by the end. To me it didn't feel like they were "hugging their issues away" but rather like they arrived at a point where they could acknowledge each others' "struggles" (for lack of a better word) and thus make the first step towards healing and fixing the generational trauma together which is also why the story felt more open-ended compared to Encanto imo. Just some thoughts :)
Make it as a Side Story is absolutely needed if you want all Tiger Parents open their eyes on their parenting method after they saw this movie.. They need to make it as hidden and subtle as possible Because if you try to Blame Tiger Parents blatantly on the nose, by showing us Ming constantly shouting and Abuse Mei Mei at home as a tiger mom,
Then all tiger parents who saw this movie would think Pixar just exaggerating the tiger parenting effects on the kids, while in real life they pretty much doing the same shouting and abusive thing to their kids at home..
Tiger Parents are stubborn, they thought they always right and know what is the best plan for you since they had more experience and saw more things even before you born.. And since Ming is a Tiger Mom, you can clearly see she is so stubborn in the movie, Ming *NEVER* accept what Mei Mei explain to her at the point where Mei Mei headbutt her mom to make her tiger mom unconscious.. That is the only thing you could Win an Argument against tiger mom.. Either you surrender and obey their order, or you could knock your tiger mom unconscious so she would stop shouting and physically abuse you..
And the hardest part to remind all tiger parents about their parenting method is wrong is.. Because the fact that Tiger Parents could produce a Good Disciplined Successful Rich Person while their kid's friends use drugs, addicted to alcohol, etc.. Add their stubborn head and always right in the mix, then you almost have nothing to proof they are indeed wrong.. I'm glad now we had a little proof that they are wrong sometimes from this movie
I mean I assumed that happened during the time skip, that end scene wasn't literally the next day it was definitely quite some time after. Specially as despite everything Mei probably was grounded for a bit.
I really like your videos!! and i love your soothing voice♥️♥️
Thank you appreciate you
@@GeorgiaDow ♥️🌺✨
0:20 At this moment, I tried to remember my childhood memories with my parents and literaly nothing came into my mind. Idk if it's a memory problem or me who internaly don't want to focuse on it or avoid it, or anything else... I'm concerned about myself (lol but not really lol)
(Also, sorry if I made some mistakes)
PS: thanks for sharing your thoughts, it's really nice !
I would be more curious to hear your thoughts on Ming's mindset after transforming into Giant Red Panda gone bear-serker mode.
I love how the movie touched on the two repairing their relationship as mother and daughter (speaking as a Filipino-Chinese) since Asian parents typically dont apologize or admit theyre wrong. Which is why i was kinda disappointed how they never showed even a short flashback of the confrontation between Ming and her mom when she physically hurt her over a boy (Jin, Mei’s dad).
If only theyd cut the whole montage of moneymaking a bit shorter and made time for that crucial backstory. But i guess just talking abt it will do,
I'm just impressed by the fact that you don a different outfit for every single video! YOUR WARDROBE MUST BE HUUGGE!!🤩
Heheh I try to give a nod to whom I’m doing the video on
@@GeorgiaDow But like seriously! Do you already have all the clothes in the world? Do you buy one everytime? How do you do it???
I but second hand and paint and design depending on who it is. My wardrobe is getting a touch cramped atm =P
I love Ming. I see so much of myself, down to the packing herbal tea for a loved one. I love how complex she is, overbearing and loving, attentive and totally missing the mark. Ming and Mei could have developed a lot of resentment toward each other and I am glad they confronted one another and addressed things quickly and we got to see in the end how it was working out. (In a way, it kind of reminds me of Stoic and Hiccup from the HTTYD trilogy).
I all bust busted out crying when the women were leaving their pandas and Ming turned around second guessing herself and begged Mei to follow her. To me, it was a mother saying, "You are going down a path I cannot follow" as in she will be the first to keep her panda, not something Ming has experience in, and feared for her, worried about her. Though Mei was adamant about keeping her panda, she said she was afraid they will grow apart, and Ming said, "The father you go, the more proud I'll be" and this is unchartered territory... for immigrant families who are usually close-knit, that is quite a thing of growth and faith to say. We see Mei second guessing herself keeping the panda a second later, and her ancestor was so exuberant about Mei's decision that Mei felt reassured.
That decision, as a decision Ming did not make or would not have made, didn't drive them apart in the end, colossal confrontation considering, but it was something that continued to bring them closer.
I love these videos, they’re healing for me too so thank you ❤️ also I appreciate how your outfit is always inspired by the character/movie you’re discussing 😊
Thank you Raquel I do try
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know!
Wait... wrong film. But that was still terrible to place on Elsa just like it did for Ming.
Fits very perfectly
@jf k True and I'm sure with Elsa it would have been better managed if it wasn't for the untimely death of her parents while she was still growing up.
I love her attention for details, she dressed like Ming! Every Georgia video is so thought through!
appreciate you
And seriously, Ming reminds me of my mom. So does Abuela. In fact, it almost feels like Disney is interviewing my mom behind my back (she’s not, it’s a joke, chill).
I think nowadays, the animators don't wanna JUST make good movies, they want a damn apology from their own families for their own generational trauma. I can't lie, I hated Ming through a good majority of the movie because of her anger issues & aggressive overbearing nature, then with her panda turning into a kaiju and Godzilla-ing through the city when she refused to listen to Mei Mei to the point of suffocating her, but it wasn't until she *FINALLY* apologized to Mei Mei & accepted her choice when I finally came around to liking her.
I think you should look at some other Disney parents, I'd really like to see a video on Ariel. I see a lot of people say that her behavior in the 2nd film doesn't make sense, but I think it actually makes an unfortunate amount of sense. Ariel is trying to not be like her dad but also still making similar mistakes without realizing it because, even unconsciously, we tend to lean on what we know.
Turning Red and Encanto were both about generational trauma, but in different ways. Encanto was more about how a single horrific event changes you, which is a more obvious form of trauma. Turning Red's was much quieter, talking about how generational trauma is passed parent to child by virtue of adult children repeating behaviors that were nonverbally taught to them in younger years. Whether it be the path of least resistance or the twisted sense of "it's not fair if you don't suffer the way I did"
It's interesting you start at the end and working your way back to how things played out from the start.
I found this movie relatable to me in some areas, I don't know how much though and where it connected the dots. Never really had that much of a close bonded relationship with my parents.
At 13 a period feels like the worst most embarrassing thing that could ever happen (I think because it’s a huge change at a young age), but though out and after high school (at least in my experience) it just a part of life and no one’s ashamed anymore, me and my friends share our pain during our period and our feelings and we’re very open about it to most people, but I love this movie for how honest it is about female puberty. It’s awkward and cringy and we hate it and everything and we’re scared and I think this movie does an amazing job at showing how that time in a females life is so awkward,. Idk I just love this movie
This video analysis is so important to me. Ming reminds me so much of my own mom, especially 9:31 …that is something my mom says a lot when I want to do things outside of her scope of whats acceptable, so this movie and video helped me understand her a little more.
Your hair color is perfect for reviewing this movie
I know I lucked out : )
I wonder if sometimes it's more important to hear from our parents that they are proud of us versus they love us?
i cried with this movie, i wish my mom could see it. Love this channel.
What's interesting (and I might be wrong but I think it's a solid theory) is that the reason why Ming went to Meiling's school wasn't actually because of the pads but because she wanted to be on the lookout for when her inner panda would manifest since it, supposedly, manifests at puberty
I love the psychological breakdown by th way
yeah, tell this to my mum. She almost always says cruel, hurtful words but NEVER EVER appologises later on saying her mental health is imporatnt but....what about mine? My older sister is her favorite and always says about her worries. I'm not like that, keep all my secrets and emotions inside. Then I blow up so everyone ask 'what's wrong with you'. I just don't know....think I can handle this alone, especially when I was closer with dad, who died. Not with her, NEVER with her.
Wow, being a mother or a daughter seems really hard and complicated. I wonder whether it's better or worse to be completely clueless and oblivious? 🤔
Being a parent is hard work if you're doing it right.
the logic i hear constantly is "your parents had a hard life so you cant call them out for abuse" so its okay to torture your kids and make them feel worthless and you have to forgive your abusers even when they ruin you for life? thats the message i got from this movie and coco, you hear it in other movies, shows, and real life, do the kids feelings not matter at all? parents are never punished for child abuse in the UK because it is hopelessly backwards and to see this backwards thinking in other countries down to the family films made by pixar and disney is scary,
life sucks for most people because abuse is allowed due to parents doing anything they want with no punishment, these double standards have to stop.
One point I disagree with is picking up the kid from the party and concert, they're already there, let them be and then discuss it when they get home unless they're in legitimate danger. I can only see interfering as causing more conflict.
Why?
@jf k If you have healthy communication with your children, They would never snuck out behind your back in the first place..
And even if my kids snuck out to the party I would just contact the parents host, and make sure she was okay there.. I would talk her later at home, not to blame and shout her, but ask her about the risk of staying out alone at night, ask her about responsibility and consequences.. So she would understand my concern and I give her options to choose what consequences or punishment she wants to get by Lying to her parents
Forcing your kids to come back home could make them feel you are too overbearing and overprotective..
@jf k I see your point, It's fundamental to trust your kids.. If you trust your kids could use their own brain, Then you know your kids Could think about something good and something bad at least at age of 6. I'm pretty sure when my kids at the age of 6 they would know that Happy is good and Dead is bad..
So If you had 13 y.o. daughter I'm pretty sure she had known about sexual abuse, about kidnapping, about drugs, about stampede at concert etc.. So why not ask her about what she would do on those situations? Without telling her "You shouldn't go", she would reconsider her plan.. Maybe she would ask you to pick her up, maybe she would ask you to keep contact, but 1 thing for sure, If you don't blame her right away, she would be more open to you and tell everything you need to know without worrying you will shout and yell at her..
Of course Parents make some rules and guidelines.. For me Truth is key.. I would never blame anyone if they tell me the truth, even if it worse.. instead I would give them praise and rewards for telling the truth.. Yes some kids make mistakes but we don't need to blame them because they didn't know.. We need to encourage them to fix their mistakes and give them options of consequences if they repeat the same mistakes
My kids broke the vase, I won't blame them at first, I encourage them to help me cleaning up the broken vase together.. after that I would let them choose if they would clean up the broken part alone next time, or they won't receive any money until they bought new vase.. It's obvious we force them to clean up their mess alone But because we let them choose, they wouldn't feel we forced them to do that..
Disciplined is a must but you need to make sure your kids knew that you would support them to be honest person, you would always hear their explaination, and they would always have some choice and risks they need to consider..
@jf k maybe they're doing it because parents have been trying to keep their squeaky clean reputations at the cost of their children for far too long, and we're tired of them hurting us and not taking accountability for their mistakes just so people will think good of them 😒
I liked this movie,usually movies will go into the depression or tramua arc but to see just pure emotion expressed is really nice
I’m making my own show based on people just living with disability after all,even if there’s other Problems it’s still the main focus
It’s really rare to see these types of subjects so I’m happy
Got giddy-happy to see that you had posted another video, Georgia! There is just SO much love communicated in everything you share = ) Adds a soothing and joyous tone to my day!
Aww thanks CL
@@GeorgiaDow Nope...thank-YOU! You're great for my soul!
I really don't like Ming. When she thinks that something is wrong, she doesn't think for a single second to just ask her daughter or actually listen to Mei's answer. And stalking her at school, seriously!